Editor’s Note

Hello and welcome to The Sober Edit! We're thrilled to have you re-join us on this journey of discovery, celebrating the joys and possibilities of a sober lifestyle. Get ready for another edition filled with warmth, connection, and renewed inspiration.

In a world that can sometimes feel a bit fast-paced and impersonal, The Sober Edit is here to be your friendly oasis. We genuinely believe that choosing sobriety leads to moments of clarity, bursts of creativity, and an abundance of inspiration. Our mission is simple: to share stories and experiences that showcase the transformative magic of embracing a sober life.

Editor-in-Chief

At The Sober Edit, community is our heartbeat. We understand that the path to sobriety is as unique as each one of our readers. Whether you're just starting or have been on this journey for a while, think of this magazine as a friendly companion cheering you on.

Each lovingly curated issue is like a care package for your soul, filled with heart-warming articles and expert advice from wellness professionals. We'll explore topics like mindful living, alternative therapies, creativity, relationships, and purpose.

The Sober Edit is your cozy corner to amplify voices that might not always be heard. Our contributors, coming from all walks of life, share personal triumphs, challenges, and the lessons they've gathered along the way. Their stories are like a warm hug, offering comfort, encouragement, and a dash of inspiration.

As we embark on this edition together, we invite you to not just read, but to actively engage. Share your thoughts, suggestions, and snippets of your own story with our wonderful community. Let's keep the conversation going, offer support, and nurture a safe space where everyone feels like part of the family.

A big, warm thank you goes out to our incredible contributors.

And, of course, our warmest gratitude is reserved just for you —our wonderful readers. It's your curiosity, your openness, and your shared journey that make The Sober Edit what it is. Together, let's keep challenging the norms, celebrating the beauty of sobriety, and exploring the endless possibilities that lie ahead.

With gratitude, Becki x

Many Sober Club members find the festive season tricky. Alcohol is so deeply ingrained in our culture; it’s the ‘social glue’ that sticks everything together, ‘celebrations to commiserations’ We’ve been brainwashed into thinking there are two types of drinkers, those at rock bottom – alcohol dependent – and everyone else. The reality is it’s a spectrum, the majority of people fit into the category of ‘Grey Area Drinkers’, I reckon there are at least 50 shades of grey, and none of them sexy!

Without doubt, what helped when I ditched the booze almost 6 years ago, was being able to calm my ‘inner toddler’ who was telling me I may be ‘missing out’.

However, we can ‘Keep the ritual, change the ingredients’ The rise in popularity of alcohol free drinks by the big breweries as well as artisan producers is monumental. There are alternatives to beers, spirits and botanicals, not to mention Kombucha and fabulous artisan tonic waters.

The truth is if you ditch the booze, you aren’t giving anything up, you are only gaining. You have the opportunity to get back your health, your ideal weight, your appetite, your sleep, good relationships, your sanity…You will feel less anxious, the link between alcohol and mental health cannot be denied and then there’s surprising benefits like feeling brave, and getting ‘sober hair’ (Who knew!)

Ask yourself: Could my festive season be better without the booze?

If the answer is…Yes! Set yourself a challenge, WOOP IT!

Plan ahead using the great behaviour change planning tool called WOOP developed by Dr Gabrile Oettingen, It’s been used effectively in many areas of life.

WOOP, stands for:

Wish Outcome Obstacle Plan

Wish – Set your wish, to achieve a meaningful goal and make it a memorable phrase (ie Ditch the booze for minimum of 100 days)

Outcome – What is the outcome you want – the best result from accomplishing that wish? .(ie: You’ll have more energy, less anxiety)

Obstacle – What might prevent you from accomplishing your wish, or what make you feel wobbly? (ie: A family party)

Plan –How can you plan ahead, in case the obstacle presents itself? (ie Offer Af cocktails)

Write down your ‘WOOP’ on a piece of paper and use the technique every time you have a new situation coming up. Become Sober Curious!

Janey Lee Grace is the author of Happy Healthy Sober, runs The Sober Club community and hosts the Alcohol Free Life podcast. Janey also trains Sober 360 Coaches www.thesoberclub.com linktr.ee/janeyleegrace1

When did you first realise that you might have a drinking problem and then start thinking about sobriety?

I've been sober for about 11 years now, and the realisation hit me in my late 30s. I was going through a period of intense depression, and in an attempt to numb the pain, I turned to alcohol and drugs. It's funny looking back; I was in constant denial about having a problem, despite the years spent using substances to cope with anxiety and misery.

It's interesting how denial can be such a powerful force. Can you share more about the circumstances that led to this realisation?

Absolutely. I was working on Coronation Street at the time, away from home frequently, and my depression was at its peak. I reached a point where I would do anything to alleviate the pain, and unfortunately, I thought alcohol and drugs were the solution, at least temporarily. It wasn't until my late 30s that I found myself caught in this cycle.

You mentioned your husband, Lincoln, and how you both got sober together. Can you elaborate on that and how your relationship played a role in your journey to sobriety?

Lincoln and I met in a nightclub at 6:00 in the morning, and we got sober within two months of each other. We often reflect on where we would be if we hadn't met. It's intriguing to think that the nightclub we met in eventually closed, possibly due to our sobriety. We've always wondered about the impact our meeting had on each other's lives.

It sounds like a significant turning point in your life. Going back to your struggles, did you find yourself drinking alone at home, or was it more about going out?

It was a mix of both. I would drink alone at home, but I was also adept at hiding the extent of my struggles. I wasn't the stereotypical image of a mother with a bottle in the morning; my drinking was more binge-oriented. I didn't drink every night, but when I did, it took over my life.

Your journey highlights the complexities of addiction. Looking back, do you have any regrets or things you wish you could change?

Of course, there are moments I wish I could redo, especially in terms of my children's experiences. However, a friend recently reminded me that my past has shaped who I am today, enabling me to be the person and mother I am now. It's a delicate balance between acknowledging mistakes and appreciating the growth that came from overcoming them.

How do you fill your time? Any new hobbies or activities?

Surprisingly, I don't seem to have much free time. Between work commitments and our love for travel, every moment is accounted for. Recently, we returned from a three-week trip to America to be with our son on tour. Family time has become a cherished priority, especially considering the time my eldest son, Matty, spends away on tour. Our idea of a hobby is enjoying comfy clothes and indulging in true crime documentaries. It might not be conventional, but it works for us.

Did anyone of your family members or friends say, Denise, you need to cut back the drinking?

The decision to stop drinking wasn't something I had planned. It was more of a culmination of various factors in my life. One significant influence was my sister, who expressed concerns about my drinking habits. While I initially resented her for it, looking back, I understand her perspective better now. She played a crucial role in caring for my children, and her worries were valid.

It sounds like family dynamics and concerns from loved ones played a role in your journey. How did your relationship with your sister and other family members impact your decision to quit drinking?

My sister's concerns were a source of tension, and there were times when we weren't completely estranged but faced difficulties. However, my father, who I unfortunately lost two years ago, was my constant support. He never judged me, even when he had every reason to.

His unconditional love was a significant influence, and he often took my side against my sister, attributing my struggles to depression. I think he understood that my drinking was linked to trying to cope with my depression, even though, in reality, it was worsening the situation.

How did your depression intertwined with your alcohol use, and how has giving up drinking impacted your mental health?

I want to emphasise that giving up drinking didn't magically cure my depression. Instead, it stopped compounding the issue. Drinking on top of depression and antidepressants only prolonged the duration of my depressive episodes. When I stopped drinking, it didn't eliminate my depression, but it made it more manageable and shortened the duration. I've been free of depressive episodes since 2019, and while I don't consider it completely gone, I am grateful not to wake up in fear of my illness anymore.

How did you navigate professional and social situations after quitting drinking?

It was undoubtedly challenging, especially in my line of work, which involved a lot of social interactions. Initially, I struggled with confidence and the fear of not fitting in. Sobriety meant relearning how to engage with people without relying on alcohol. It was a process, but over time, I discovered the joy of genuine connections without the need for substances.

Can you share more about the role that your husband, Lincoln, played in your sobriety, and how facing the challenges together strengthened your marriage?

Lincoln has been my rock throughout this journey. Facing sobriety together wasn't always easy, and we sometimes found ourselves being judgmental about others' drinking habits. However, having each other for support made all the difference. Our marriage became stronger, and sobriety became a foundation for a more fulfilling life. I often reflect on the fact that without sobriety, we might not have the incredible relationship we have today.

What advice would you give to others who may be struggling with alcohol dependency or mental health issues?

My advice would be to seek support, whether from loved ones, friends, or professionals. It's essential to recognise that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sobriety is a personal journey, and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. Be kind to yourself, understand that setbacks may happen, but each day is a new opportunity to make positive choices. And most importantly, know that you're not alone in this journey.