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editor’s extension: 22052 letters:

The End

It really is, you know. The end, I mean. At least for me it is. In addition to this being the last issue of the Silhouette this academic year, it is also the last issue of my career. Now, I don’t want to hit you with a lot of sentimentalities and mushy goodbyes, here. It would be very much unlike me and the cult of snarkiness and snide-itude that I have worked so hard to foster. I will leave you, however, with a shameless self-endorsement: I have never been part of anything that I love or believe in quite as much as I love and believe in the Silhouette. Because it is the result of 22,000 voices, because it informs and sometimes even inspires, all of which is an honour to contribute to. And the fact that I feel this way is nice. Yes, nice is definitely the word for it, pleasant being the only other possible descriptor. But of course my feelings aren’t worth a shit to you. And, like I said, I didn’t come here today to get emotional. Instead, I came here to tell you something. I’ve loved my time here, I’ve loved the spirit of the paper, I’ve loved the work I’ve done, I’ve loved the people who have been through it all with me. And now I’m veering toward tears again. Hold it together, boy, hold it together. I guess what I’m getting at is that in my time at the Sil, entirely without meaning to, I became the kind of guy who cares about things. It didn’t come about slowly or with any difficulty at all. It just sort of crashed over me. And look at me now, drying my eyes with newsprint. I would really hate to sum up three years with one overarching life lesson. So I won’t. But I will tell you that if I was able to find something I love this much, you sure as hell can. Maybe you’ve already found your love. Maybe you’ve known what it is for years and are wholly and truly fulfilled. And, if so, I am happy for you. But that was not my experience. I was 19 before I found the paper, and before that I didn’t think I could ever get excited about anything, least of all something related to a university, however loosely. But here I am, at the end of it all, not only passionate about something, but saying things like “I love.” Yes, it’s strange. So strange, in fact, that I am making it the message of my final editorial. And the message is this: as you go through life, be prepared to love something. It’s easy. You don’t have to do anything to prepare. Just be aware that one day you may well find something you care about and it will consume you in the best possible way. That’s it. That’s all. A meandering, baseless, drunken sort of philosophy. But I suppose that’s what I am now: drunken philosopher king. You know something, it doesn’t feel so bad. Somebody buy the king a drink.

The Silhouette McMaster University’s Student Newspaper

Editorial Board Executive Editor... Peter Goffin Managing Editor... David Koots Copy Editor... Katherine Marsden Senior News Editor... Sam Colbert Asst. News Editor... Jemma Wolfe Asst. News Editor... Farzeen Foda Opinions Editor... Cassandra Jeffery Sports Editor... Brian Decker Asst. Sports Editor... Fraser Caldwell InsideOut Editor... Natalie Timperio Asst. InsideOut Editor... Kaitlin Peters Sr. ANDY Editor... Roxanne Hathway-Baxter ANDY Music Editor... Dan Hawie ANDY Ent. Editor... Myles Herod Senior Photo Editor... Christopher Chang Multimedia Editor... Joy Santiago Asst. Photo Editor... Jonathon Fairclough


Business Editor... Santino Marinucci


Web Editor... Jason Lamb

And now for some praise...

Silhouette Staff

David Koots: I quite literally could not have done this job without you. In addition to being an amazing editor and manager, you’ve been a sound mind and a friend which are really the most important two roles for any co-worker. I still totally believe we could have run the paper ourselves. Cue the montage music.

Kevin Elliott, ANDY Trevor Roach, ANDY

Katherine Marsden: I don’t know, K-Mar. Three years is a long time to sum up in a couple of sentences. I’m incredibly glad that I had someone in the office this year who was around way back in 2008 and I’m even gladder it was you. I give you an A+ for ability, A for effort, and C- for usage of coloured pens. Now buy me a coke.

Victor Pek, Sports Sandro Giordano, Ad Manager

Sam Colbert: You earned your keep this year, Sammy. You had a heap of responsibility this year, but you always carried it well. I know it took some late nights and hard work but the results were always fantastic. I don’t say it nearly enough, but you’re a damn good journalist and you’ve become a damn good leader too. Farzeen Foda: I know it’s hard to recognize it in yourself, but you have grown more than anyone this year. You started out pretty good. Then I blinked and you were kicking ass and taking names and reporting stories. No one should ever, ever question whether you’re tough enough or strong enough to do any job. Believe me, you could do them all. Jemma Wolfe: You weren’t with us long but you fit in immediately and you’ve been an invaluable part of the team the whole time. I have absolutely no doubt that the past month has been only the beginning of a long and successful career for you. But I’m still bitter you never wrote for me in Opinions. Cassandra Jeffery: I had this vision at the beginning of the year that I would mentor you to become as good an Opinions editor as I was. But then in the first two weeks you got twice as many volunteer writers and finished your job twice as fast as I ever did. Keep pushing, I guess is the only mentorly advice I can give you. It applies to boundaries, and writing ability, and the taming of bunnies. Natalie Timperio: I really don’t feel qualified to tell you anything since you’ve been coming to this office since you were 16. But I can say that you’ve helmed a great section that seems to just keep getting better every single week. It’s like something clicked in you and your work went from being very good to being beautiful all at once. Kaitlin Peters: I cannot describe to you the welling of excitement and thankfulness that I felt when you said you’d be an editor this year. At first that was because of your writing, which is consistently the funniest, smartest stuff in the paper. But over the course of the year I’ve come to be thankful for your positivity and eagerness and, yes, your continuing written brilliance.

to the 2010-2011 staff. you’ve come a long way, baby.

to being perfect. i’ve made it really hard for my successor.

to david’s perfect crime. victimless indeed.

to the death of solomon ostero. see pg. A12

to the champagne. we’re reverse-christening this baby.

to peeing out that torch.

to passing the torch.

to the term “pooper.“ it will always be “shithole“ to me.

Roxanne Hathway-Baxter: Stand back, this could get gooey. I would like to thank you for visiting me in the summer. I would like to thank you for putting up with my filth. I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity and motivation to become a lecherous boss. But most of all, I wanna thank you for being here and keeping me sane. Roxanne good dame.

to ray from sudbury.

Dan Hawie: You singlehandedly raised the Gonzo cred of the paper with your covert Feist interview. And we couldn’t have done the radio show without your steady hand at the soundboard. I look at you and I see what I would have been like if I had been more ambitious, more successful, and generally better at what I do.

to steve paikin.

to “friday,” but not the bob dylan cover.

to polkaroo.

to unexpected nieces.

Myles Herod: With your taste in music and movies I think it’s possible that we may be soul mates. In fact, you living far away in Burlington is the only reason I can think of that it didn’t work out. It’s been a constant (platonic) pleasure working with you for two years and I wish I could be here to hear your media wisdom for a third year. My biggest regret in this job is that I outlasted the egg.

to abusing my power over thumbs up, thumbs down.

to flooding hosts’ bathrooms.

Brian Decker: See these things? They’re reins. I am hereby handing them over to you. I’m not going to go all father-ofthe-bride on you, but take care of her. She’s all I got, son. And she deserves the love and attention I know you’ll giver her. Just work as hard and be as great as you were in Sports and you’ll be fine. Fraser Caldwell: Sergeant Caldwell, you’re the best team player I’ve ever met. The fact that you wrote 3,000 words a week is only a small part of it. You have been more dedicated to everything from production to beer nights than anyone I’ve ever seen in this office. And you’re the bravest fuckin’ bastard I’ve ever met. And I will be back to visit, if only to keep pace with you at the bar. Chris Chang: You truly are the Chairman of Photography. Except that you don’t have nearly enough ego and are far too beloved to be any kind of dictator. Watching you learn new skills, from writing to layout to CP editing, has been both impressive and jealousy-inducing. Congratulations on becoming an engineer, but you belong in media. You’re just too damn good not to. Jon Fairclough: Well, Moriarty, it’s been a long road. And quite a few adventures. You’ve perpetually been the devil on my shoulder, and one that I should have listened to far more often. So in Hamilton, when the sun goes down, I sit on the old broken-down river lobster and I think of Jon Fairclough, I even think of old Jon Fairclough, the pervert we always found, I think of Jon Fairclough. Joy Santiago: Everyone knows you are insanely talented. Everyone knows you do more work than the rest of us put together. But it has been the greatest bonus of my job to find out that you are also the funniest person in the room, possibly in the world. I propose that we spend the summer watching Clint Eastwood movies together. Deal? Santino Marinucci: Above and beyond is really all I can say. We asked a lot of you this year and somehow you always did more. Not getting to work with you anymore is worse than plagues, diseases, starvation, and Fergie’s performance at the Super Bowl. Jason Lamb: You are a human “Easy” button. I have only ever seen you working on things that seem impossible and make my head hurt. But I have never seen you do anything other than nod and proceed to do that impossible thing in about thirty seconds. You outgrew the rest of us a long time ago and that fact that you still put up with our ignorance and inability is beyond applause-worthy.

to dick band-aids. saving lives since 1907.

to the close proximity of pizza hut to my office. to solutions. to one last night. it was a good one.

to headphonesin-champagne electrocution.

to gilbert gottfried not returning my calls. to driving old dixie down. to the end.

For everything in these pages and some things that aren’t, visit Actually, the website’s a dating site for people who like to do it with animals. Oh, Spot, behave, boy.

AND ALSO... The paper may have stopped publishing for the year but we’re still on the air. Tune in to the Sil’s radio show every Friday at 2 p.m. on CFMU, 93.3 on your dial, on the web.

March 31st, 2011  

March 31st, 2011 issue of The Sil

March 31st, 2011  

March 31st, 2011 issue of The Sil