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CHAD VADAR POQUITO BURRITO MITCH HEDBERG
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PRECIOUS PUGS, HAM, AND UNWANTED THOUGHTS
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THE SET LIST – page 1
JANUARY 2009 ISSUE 1
GUIDE TO CONTENTS
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19 RANDOM QUESTIONS WITH MARIA BAMFORD
WHO WE BE EDITOR IN CHIEF/ART DIRECTOR/ PUBLISHER JOHN ROSS johnross@thesetlistonline.com ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Anissa Ross CONTRIBUTING WRITERS JEREMY DUNCAN, BRYAN YANG, KIETH LOWELL JENSEN, MARY VAN NOTE, RAY MOLI‑ NA, ADRIAN PALENCHAR AND CHEESE SPECIAL THANKS THE CREST THEATER, CHUCK HAINES, HOLLYWOODENTERTAINMENTJOBS.COM, SACRAMENTO ALL SKETCH, LAUGHS UNLIMITED, REVOLUTION INK, JESS @ OMNIPOP, MARIA BAMFORD, MATT SLOAN, AARON YONDA AND ALL OF MANKIND. THE SET LIST – page 2
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CHAD VADAR WHERE THE HELL?
PITHED OFF! CHILDREN ARE GAY?
JUDGE THIS! DJ REAL FOR REAL!
MORE CONTENT 4. INTRODUCING THE INTRO 4. DEAR 2ND GREATEST COMEDIAN 5. PITHED OFF! 6 . BLAME SOCIETY FOR CHAD VADAR 8. THEE PAGES OF JUDGMENT 9. RETRO REVIEWS 11. EVERYONE’S A COMEDIAN 12. MARIA BAMFORD 14. JANUARY CALENDAR 17. HOROSCOPES 18. THE NEW FUNNIES
THE SET LIST All content is owned by The Set List Magazine and is not to be duplicated or distributed without prior written consent from The Set List.The Set list is published independantly and we would prefer you to refer to us as “indie.” Because “indie” is a term that is makes you cool nowadays. Please refrain from littering our publication into the streets. Not for eviornment sake, but because that’s just a assface move and noboby likes assfaces. All opinions expressed in The Set List are those of the individual writers and not of the entire staff. If you have any inquires, opinions or suggestions contact John Ross at johnross@thesetlistonline.com. or 916-285-7283. A website will be up soon, so just enjoy hardcopy doucments while they’re still around.
Introducing the intro Hello Reader, You’ve just picked up the very first issue of The Set List Magazine. I am John Ross (The Creator/Editor) and it is my pleasure to have your eyes skimming though this publication. Now when I say “The Creator/Editor,” I actually mean the actual Creator of the Universe. Ya see, the thing is, is that I really never get much credit for the smaller tasks I’m involved in. I’m continually getting praise for the stars and things, but I just think it’s time I spoke up about my editing skills as well. Now that we’ve established our roles here, let me be a little more specific in what I need from you. I need/command you, to read through this entire rag. I’m serious. For if you don’t read it in its fullness, you may miss the amazing Maria Bamford questionaire on page ? or the highly informative calendar of all of Nor Cal’s comedic on goings. How about this scenario? Say you’re sitting at home and you haven’t yet read through The Set List. Suddenly, a man with a firearm breaks into your home, wanting nothing more than to hear you recite a mildly enetertaining version of his January horoscope from pages that are specificly marked pages ?&?. What if that happens? That could be a tragedy, understand? Just follow my directions and I’ll make sure nothing like that happens to you or your family. Enjoy the content the way it’s intended. John Ross (Not really The Creator...of the Universe) Questions, Comments or Concers? - johnross@thsetlistonline.com
www.thesetlistonline.com
Dear, 2nd Greatest Comedian ...on planet earth My boyfriend doesn’t like that I’m a comedienne. He says that he wants to be the funny one and he’s not crazy about me hanging out with all guys down at the clubs and that I don’t have enough girl friends. I love him and I don’t want to lose him, but I’m not going to stop doing comedy. I can’t help it if most people who do comedy are guys. I just don’t know a lot of girls who enjoy the things I enjoy. usually they want to hunt men or shop for clothes, which I find to be as interesting as a heavy flow day. He was with me since I started and he used to be really encouraging, but lately he’s been telling me, “maybe it’s time you get a real job,” as if when a doctor has a bad day and someone suggest they just quit and become an administrative assistant. Please help!
in other words, he wants his pants back because your making him out to be your bitch. Also, it’s difficult to a guy to see his girl garnering an abundance of attention, and as a female comic you probably get an disproportionate amount of it from the other comedians since male comedians obviously value humor to such a degree, that any girl who does as well becomes exponentially more attractive even if they aren’t really all that funny. I don’t blame you for not wanting to hang out with girls, I mean, what does he want you to do, become a gay male? If so then perhaps he himself is gay. Seems like a leap I know, but as the second greatest comedian on planet Earth, I am obligated to take that into consideration. Administrative Comedienne, do me a favor, tell him he’s funny more often, and yes, I’m asking you to lie to him. Sometimes “bitch men” want to hear things Signed, Administrated Comedienne they know are not true, like their penis is huge or how they are the greatest lover you’ve ever had, or that you have never tried anal with anyone but him. Mainly sex Dear Administrative Comedienne, related lies, because in a mans world, it’s their penis that Men will often complain about women wanting headlines. But be careful because that is the only part material, arbitrary things, yet they rely on and of them they don’t want you to find funny. Tell him that encourage the notion of women having a deep value your not going to quit and if he suggest it to you again, for a sense of humor. Men feel that humor is something suggest to him that he get a real job and become an they can provide women with since they rarely find astronaut. women who make them laugh, as you have noticed by your abundance of male colleagues. Women like Good luck, to laugh, but usually want to laugh while wearing 2nd Greatest comedian on planet Earth designer clothing. He probably feels emasculated,
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tickets at www.laughsunlimited.com or call 446-5905 for reservations and info THE SET LIST – page 3
PITHED OFF by Cheese
THE MOST
Fabulous
KINGDOM ON EARTH
P
rop 8 passed in California with flying lack of colors. When asked if two people who love each other should be able to be happy together, good christians answered with a resounding fart noise. The premise of every pro-8 argument is the same: if we treat gay people like real people, then straight kids will swivel gayward and never look back. That’s it. All of it boils down to not wanting to treat gay people like real people or their lifestyle as a real lifestyle JUST IN CASE they gayify the young’ns. All the gay people I know came from straight parents so I’d be more convinced that straight couples are making kids gay but that’s almost beside the point. More to said point, the definition of marriage is apparently at stake here, which is sort of like saying “our supply of Hall and Oats records is at stake” in that only ridiculous douchebags should care. Ridiculous douchebags DO care, apparently. When I lived in Sacramento, on my way to work I would sometimes pass a red truck parked near the capital building. This thing was plastered with bible quotes and big banners about how god hates fags and
Can you get any lower than using your uneducated spawn to parrot your views knowing full well that they cannot possibly be anything but a living amplifier without adulthood to provide credence to anything they say? If they’re deemed too incompetent to legally consent to professional contract what fucking good are they in driving a philosophical point? They’re not and that is child abuse. Children are often used in another, less disturbing, but quite asinine way: as the crux of the fundie argument about perversion or sexual ambiguation of children from just existing in the same universe as a Erasure concert. It’s typical “think of the children” multipurpose tripe. What, they ask, are we tell our children at their tender ages when they are confronted with behavior that goes against everything we’ve commanded them to believe? How do we, as parents and educators, begin to explain two dudes making out in plain view? What if learning about gay marriage in school spontaneously reverses a child’s sexuality leaving his loving parents with no choice but to brutalize and shame him? Well, I’ve considered this question and, as a gracious personal favor to you all, I can tell you exactly what to say when your child is confronted by something totally gay. Let’s say you’re at Disneyland and you didn’t realize it was their annual “Gay Day” event and your kid spots some guy peck his boyfriend right on his mustachioed face. WELL! This sends your traumatized crotchling screaming back to your parental knees to weep about the shattering of their 7-year-old world view. At this point, it falls upon you, the parent, to explain away life’s ickiness and undo the psychological damage of those inconsiderate strangers.
You sit the kid down and command their full attention. You say the following, in a low, authoritative register:
such. On the back, there was a big picture of two dudes kissing in a red circle with a line through it. Of course, the red circle and line motif just makes me think of the ghostbusters logo and then I think “don’t cross the streams” and end the thought there. I even had the misfortune of driving past an anti-gay marriage rally or two. I witnessed, at each of them, parents who had dressed up their snotty children in t-shirts and thrust signs into their hands featuring simple-minded slogans denying the human right to be fabulous.
THE SET LIST – page 4
“Mind your fucking business, kid. Christ allrighty listen, you whiny little shit: This is the happiest goddamn place on earth and I spent a lot of fucking money to get you here and somehow it’s STILL not enough to keep you from bitching about every little thing that isn’t just perfect... first it’s your mother’s tuna casserole and now it’s the behavior of complete goddamn strangers getting your sissy little entitled britches in a bind. Oh, I’m sorry, little Lord Fauntleroy I don’t have tyrannical control over the entire country just for your comfort! I mean, really? This is a goddamn crisis now? Two adult males love each other but they can’t be happy if this fucking Child-King here thinks they’re yucky and gross? I’m sure I’d understand how you feel right now if I didn’t have FUCKING BILLS TO PAY AND SHIT TO DO AND NO TIME TO STICK MY NOSE INTO OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS. So shut your spoiled pie hole, Bratty McWhinestein, and get in line for Splash Mountain behind the bearded man in the daisy dukes. You’re a disgrace to the family.” If your kid can be psychologically traumatized by gayness then then it was only a matter of time until he snapped. It could have been a gay couple; it could have been an untied shoelace or a mentos commercial. Either way, you’re raising a kid with a mind like wet rice paper. Don’t sneeze, you’ll scar him for life.
Aaron Yonda
BLAME SOCIETY FOR...
CHAD
VADAR DAY SHIFT MANAGER written by John Ross
Matt Sloan
Within the vast black hole of the internet, one certainty that’s always… uh…certain, is that anyone with a camera and an the ability to pound the letters y-o-u-t-u-b-e on a keyboard, will eventually take a shot at making the world laugh. Sometimes they’ll hit comedy gold; other times, they’ll just hit someone in the balls or botch a back flip off of a Coke machine. Either way, these brave souls are willing to put their best foot and or vertebra forward, in hopes to get some sort of intangible acknowledgment that ultimately manifests it’s self as a “Fuck Yes!” or “You’re gay” comment below their video. In this segment however, we move to celebrate a very select few; the few that take that “best foot” and keep moving it forward; the ones that set aside a very low budget and a huge amount of time to produce that of the Webisode. This month we take you deep inside the psyches that created everybody’s favorite kid-brother to a Sith Lord, Chad Vader —Day Shift Manager.
THE SET LIST – page 6
K E EP U P ! W W W.B L A M ES O CIET Y.NET Borne from the minds of Aaron Yonda and Matt Sloan, founders of Blame Society Productions, (www.blamesociety.net) Chad Vader – Day Shift Manager is a series of eight webisodes (so far) that follow Darth Vader’s younger sibling, Chad, (played by Yonda and voiced by Sloan) through the day to day on goings as the Day Shift Manager of Empire (Super) Market. To date, Chad Vadar is Blame Society’s most popular feature, boasting over 20-million hits on Youtube and five-million on Myspace since launching in July of 2006. Aside from the Internet views USA Today, New York Times, VH1 and Good Morning America have recognized Chad’s creators for their successes in the “Web Realm.” In 2007 Vader also picked up the “George Lucas Selects” award for the Star Wars Fan Movie Challenge, as Sloan was hired by Lucas Arts to be the voice of Darth Vadar in the “Empire at War: Forces of Corruption,” video game. Yonda and Sloan’s joint movie making endeavors began in 2001, when their initial production goal was “to just make one movie a month,” said Yonda. “We started out making films because we just wanted to do it,” he added. “Like most people with their art, they do it because they almost have to.” “In the back of our minds we thought, “Sure, it would be cool to do this as a day job,” but were not going to expect that.”“That would be like lightning striking.” “But it did,” Sloan chimed in. While Vadar’s fame continues to flourish, Blame Society stays busy with dozens of other projects. One being a mock court show, called McCourt’s in Session, where Sloan plays the Honorable Pontiff Leonard J. McCourt, an all/no-nonsense judge who hands down hilariously absurd verdicts with an almost Judge Judy meets George W. Bush air. McCourt’s was featured on VH1’s Acceptable TV in 2007 and is now available on DVD at Blame Society’s website. Another popular feature on their site (and my personal favorite) is a mostly improv based show called Fun Rangers. Fun Rangers stars both Yonda and Sloan as a couple of nearly catatonic dullards that wonder through random scenarios while employing the hilarious improv technique of “Rolphing.” (See “Why Rolphing is funny part 1 & 2” at blamesociety.net for a full disclosure on “Rolphing.”) Since receiving that afore mentioned flash of electricity, Yonda and Sloan have been producing films full-time over the past year and a half from their home THE SET LIST – page 7
state of Wisconsin. Surprisingly, the itch to move to LA hasn’t been too irritating for the pair. “Although we have made a hell of a lot of trips to LA, we’re doing so well here, we don’t really see a need to move,” said Yonda. Sloan added, “Right now, moving would kind of be a step backwards.” “We’re surrounded with such a great crew and good people.” With plans for a “tongue in cheek” book on the “How to’s” of Internet Superstardom, and a few TV pitches in the works, (including a possible Chad Vadar pilot) Blame Society obviously doesn’t rely too heavily on the Hollywood springboard to get them where they want to be. In fact, Hollywood has been a bit of a hindrance. After releasing the last episode of Chad Vadar season one, Blame Society has been on an unintended break from production, mostly due to legalistic red tape. “Every time I read a post asking, “Where the fuck is season 2?” I cringe,” explains Yonda. “We were ready to go with the production of season 2 and then out of nowhere comes this TV offer and all the clearances that go along with that.”
“We would also like to know when season 2 will be made,” added Sloan. “It’s either going to be made into a TV pilot or we’re just going to get tired of waiting and make it ourselves.” Despite the Vadar hold up, Yonda and Sloan have the first episode of Season 2 written and have also been producing and pitching a number of sketch based television shows, as well as maintaining a web presence with a show called Celebrity Bric-a-Brac Theater and their latest cooking show web series called Thor’s Kitchen. As usual pressures of releasing a second season as good as the first Yonda and Sloan really don’t seem to have a lot of trepidation about the issue. “Of course we want to do more with the next season, make it bigger and better,” says Sloan. “But I feel with what we’ve done so far, (Blame Society as a whole) we’ve really gone further than just a sophomore album.” “We really don’t want to be just ‘the Chad Vadar guys,’” said Sloan. “A lot of people found our site because of Chad,” added Yonda. “Then they end up liking the other stuff more.”
THEE PAGES OF
JUDGEMENT
OPINIONS, REVIEWS AND SOME GOOD OL’ CONDEMNATION
the sound of stand up
James P. Connally The Master Plan Comedian James P. Connolly brings originality and a strong presence to his comedy album “The Master Plan”. What Connolly may lack in pure comedic skill and material he makes up for with a booming on stage persona. While it may be grating to some, his deep sing-songy early 70’s news anchor voice works well with his on stage character. Connolly does do a good job of keeping his act fresh and original. His absurdist humor does not retread on any comedy clichés and he brings a very different perspective to all of his material. Connolly is very good at deconstructing popular phrases and societal norms and finds comedy in unconventional places. Connolly holds attention well as he’s able to capture audience into his entire act with his ability to spin outlandish tales. Funniest Line: “This is how close I am to my brother, I got one of his kidneys right in there…I think its dawning on him that for the rest of his life he’s only gonna have that one kidney…I got three.” - Bryan Yang
Alonzo Boden Da Bootleg Alonzo Boden, winner of Last Comic Standing’s Season Two, (the lost season) has got himself a decent comedy album.
Recorded in 2007 at the Tempe Improv, Boden’s latest endeavor sounds, at times, to be a somewhat of a bitter crack at the “comedy recording” industry. With blatant examples of the need to release an album without their assistance, in order to keep a few bucks in his pocket, Da Bootleg, production wise, was just that…a bootleg. Between each joke premise, there’s a second of dead air that simply disrupts the continuity of the project. Knowing that timing is important to comedy, I’m surprised that post-production guys didn’t remedy the error before putting it out for consumption. Nonetheless, Boden’s comedy chops were present, and ultimately, that prevailed above the production woes. At first listen, a lot of Da Bootleg came across a bit hack. The subjects of high gas prices, air line security and “Bush/Chaney” hate was initially off-putting, but after multiple goes, I found Boden to have a fresh outlook on some fairly overdone formulas. Good album, bad production…what the hell, I’d listen to it again. -John Ross
been preceded by tragedy. Hedberg shows his ability to work a crowd, to play with the room around him and is quite charming in dealing with a drunk and overly enthusiastic fan. His stylistic delivery is dropped in places, in favor of a very conversational tone that one might not expect. Looking into the audience he comments, on an empty table with a single hat in the middle of it. “Someone’s got a hat that they’re not weaing. Either that or that table is fucking hip. That is downtown table. Man that table is bad ass. That table can tango. Either that, or it has a bald spot.” Then there are the jokes: The absurd, the surreal and occasionally the confounding. Mitch himself dismisses a failed attempt as being “fuckin’ dumb,” which leads to the hilarious conclusion; that sometimes even he didn’t quite get why his randomness was so damn funny. It almost hurts to relay them from here, knowing you’re better off hearing them from Mitch, but we’ll leave you with one more gem before you rush off to purchase (or illegally downlowd, hell Mitch won’t mind) the disc. “I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.” The coolest feature is the packaging. “Do You Believe In Gosh” comes with a booklet featuring scans from Mitch’s actual notebook, full of random thoughts, jokes in their pupae stage, in the comic’s own writing. On one page Mitch has scrawled the phrase that became the album’s title. It is a perfect tribute to one of stand up comedy’s brightest stars. - Kieth Lowell Jensen
the sound of music
Mitch Hedberg Do You Believe in Gosh The obvious joke of course, would be to call Mitch Hedberg the Tupac Chakur of comedy, now that he, like the slain rap star, is issuing posthumous recordings. Here at The Set List we have no problem whatsoever with making the obvious joke, so lets just go with that shall we? Okay, great: Mitch Hedberg is The Tupac Chakur of stand up. Three years after his unfortunate departure we get his latest album, “Do You Believe in Gosh.” Mitch does Tupac one better however, as his new album in NOT remixed by Eminem. “Gosh,” is a sweet surprise for Hedberg fans.These recordings, taken from a live appearance taped at the Improv in Ontario, California, would have been something special even if they had not
DJ Real Personal Growth
With the majority of musical comedy that comes across the line every so often, it usually seems to lack just that; musical integrity or well, comedy. In the case of DJ Real’s newest release, “Personal Growth,” both elements have risen to the occasion. With twenty tracks total, “Personal Growth,” gets to the point/funny and carries through until the very end. With no songs over three minutes long, nothing is overdone. There are no overly repetitive choruses that beat the jokes into you. Just absurdly clever lyrics and fantastic musicianship, all of which are written, performed and recorded by Nick Stargu aka DJ Real. “Love is like a potato famine / To many bodies here to examine,” and “I want to rub my mustache on your shoulder,” are
just a pair of examples of the complete randomness you will find on your journey through PG. Aside from the intentional lyrical haphazard-ness, the sound and style of Real’s latest, carries just enough musical diversity without becoming annoying through assorted redundancy. “Tiny Cheeseburger,” “Misunderstanage” and “Forsaken,” stand out, while a brief instrumental Styx tribute (The Puddle Styx) and the melodic acoustic piece of “Gettin’ out at two,” add to the fun of this project. Goto www.djrealsmells.com to take an ear-gander. - John Ross
the sound of suck
Guns N’ Roses Chinese Democracy So 2008, the year of 80’s metal “comebacks,” with Metallica’s “Death Magnetic”, AC/DC’s “Black Ice” and the highly anticipated, 17 years in the making, multimulti million dollar release by the one and only Guns N’ Roses’ “Chinese Democracy”!!! Wooo-hoo!!! Kill the fatted calf, the prodigal Son’s of Rock hath returneth!!! (INSERT RECORD SCRATCH HERE!) If using Adam Corolla’s formula of “You have to go away to make a comeback.” (re: Britney Spears) In the case of the newly formed Guns N’ Roses, this equation just doesn’t add up. With lead man Axl Rose, the only remaining member of GN’R, they have had almost as many washed up rock stars revolving in and out of them as Pamela Anderson. The Slash-less, guitar solos try harder than the Pregnant Man to deliver, but just aren’t too Rosey. The first time I laid ears on GN’R’s title track “Chinese Democracy” I thought it was Godsmack doing a remix of the 90210 theme song. You would think the track “Rhiad” would be a hit, especially since it has the same beat that has kept the Red Hot Chili Peppers alive this long. It is what it is...funky. Throughout the track “Madagascar”, the famous Martin Luther King Jr., “I have a dream” speech is sampled. It really showcases Axl’s black-side, almost more than his bad weave. Finally track “Oh My God” speaks for itself. I never thought I’d be embarrassed for a group since the reforming of New Kids on the Block. All in all, with this latest CD being banned in China do to it’s controversial album title, I’ve truly never wanted to be living in Beijing more in my life. - Jeremy Duncan
THE SET LIST – page 8
Retro Reviews by Keith Lowell Jensen
The Set List has kindly set aside some room for an avid comedy record collector, to highlight his hobby while hopefully
providing a context for modern comedy fans to apply when appreciating their favorite current comics.
The records reviewed here are found in thrift stores, yard sales, on forgotten bottom shelves of used record stores, and occasionally, when the trail grows cold, one may resort to purchasing from another collector via e-bay. Of course this is not so satisfying as getting a really great record for less than a buck from The SPCA Thrift Store. I’ve chosen to start, well, at the beginning with “Inside Shelley Berman” and “The Button Down Mind of Bob Newhart.” These two albums, arguably the first true stand up comedy records, are both important documents in the history of stand up comedy. The jokes stand the test of the time and if one is patient enough to sit in front of a record player, they will be treated to some fantastic comedy. There are many imitations that came after, but you will find nothing quite like this that came before.
recorded in 1959
Here it is; THE stand up comedy record. Shelley Berman’s “Inside” was recorded at a night club and came to listeners just as it would if they’d been there that night, so long as they provide their own cocktail before touching the needle to the vinyl. Prior to “Inside” there were party albums and novelty records, but this was something different. And comedy hasn’t been the same since. Enjoyment of this record need not get lost in appreciating its place in history. “Inside Shelley Berman,” is a riot to listen to, even now almost 50 years later. In a high nasal voice Berman is a comic behaviorist examining the lunacy of the modern world, while making it clear that he is very much a part of this world. His pitch goes higher as he struggles to navigate a department store’s telephone switchboard, engaging in a ludicrous amount of small talk with various operators as, he attempts to alert someone that a woman is hanging from the ledge of the very tall store. Shelley gives us many one-sided conversations, letting us just imagine the nut on the other end of the phone-line. Another phone gag, “The Morning After,” lets us listen in on a poor suffering soul, who is apparently finding out one embarrassing tidbit at a time, just what he was up to during a drunken party the night before. Sure you’ve heard many of the premises here, Airlines, Parenting, Psychology, but Berman was fresh and a very well trained and disciplined actor to boot. Give the record a spin and the material still sings.
THE SET LIST – page 8
recorded in 1960
The times they were a changing. Could it be that the quite little psychiatrist/Inn Keeper we’ve come to love as television’s ultimate straight man, was there to usher in the radical sixties? The argument could be made. In 1960, hot on the heels of Shelley Berman’s “Inside,” Bob Newhart gave us this understated gem, and it’s understated-ness masked what a true revolution was going on in the world of stand up comedy. Rather than one-line, rim-shot dandies, the new comedians were creating complex characters and story arcs, acting out nuanced scenes and not being afraid to appeal to an intelligent, educated audience who might catch historical references and subtle innuendo. Bob Newhart was just the man to usher in this new comedy. He certainly didn’t look threatening in well kempt suit and short hair, nor did he sound like a culture rebel with his insecure but perfectly timed stutter, making you wait a gleeful second before each punch line could be pushed p- p- past. But in the grooves of this amazing piece of vinyl Newhart gives us one of the most masterful examples of the monologist approach to stand up comedy. He is Abe Lincoln’s buffoonish, long suffering PR man, who’s trying to convince our 16th president that reading his speeches off of postcards was right for the folksy image they were aiming at, that would bring our nation’s hero down to the level of our modern politicians, while making the great man a great human; one who is not so impossible to live up to. He helps the Wright Brothers plan out their marketing strategy and looks at the absurd notion of the game of Baseball actually catching on. Shelley Berman, who pioneered the bit, was not happy to see Newhart employing his telephone gag. But Newhart made it his own with his historical/modern juxtaposition, which was his specialty.
The concept for Jamie Kennedy’s documentary “Heckler” is very interesting in theory. In execution the movie is very flawed.“Heckler”begins as an exploration into the relationship between hecklers and today’s top comedians like Patton Oswalt, David Cross, Nick Swardson and many others. Sadly, it quickly turns into a film about Kennedy’s pathetic personal vendetta against the many critics of his other horrible movies. The documentary works best when the comics are left to retell their harrowing stories from the road of their many encounters with raucous or drunk crowds. The comedians tell very interesting and enlightening tales about their early days that really help the viewer understand what life as a comic is like. The film is billed as that. Supposedly this is a movie about comedians dealing with hecklers and experts telling us why people get the urge to heckle. This is only the first quarter of the movie. Once this portion of the documentary ends, the film quickly delves into Kennedy’s film career and his comparison of film critics with hecklers. From here the movie is hard to watch. Kennedy pouts and whines his way through the rest of the documentary wondering why people and critics hate his movies. It is a spectacle and quite fascinating to see Kennedy confront critics like Richard Roeper on why they didn’t like his movies. What begins as a good idea for a documentary only poses as a very thin veil for Kennedy to lash out at people that didn’t enjoy his movies. It is not a spoiler to say that Kennedy ends the film by burning a trash can full of scathing reviews of his movies. Surprisingly there is only one trash can. - B Yang
Coming to the Crest SUZANNE WESTENHOEFER
January 10, 2009 Jan. 17 - CELEBRATE! Music Review to benefit New Helvetia Theatre Co. Feb. 22 - SACRAMENTO TAIKO DAN SPRING CONCERT February 27th and 28th
Later in 2009
Mar. 27-LEO KOTTKE Apr. 8-ARLO GUTHRIE THE SET LIST – page 10
EVERYONE’S A COMEDIAN
Stand up comedy is a bastard art form. The hip kids want nothing to do with it as it doesn’t involve dancing about or performing any other sort of mating behavior. Civilized people might attend if the comedian is Seinfeld or Jay Leno or someone else who they know they’ve seen on TV. Any bar with an open night fancies itself a comedy club. Worse yet, Pizza Parlors, Chinese Restaurants and even laundry mats think that Stand Up comedy is a fine fit for their classy establishments. Do opera singers have to start off singing for people as they fold their underwear? Rarely do you hear an audience member heckle a movie, play or poetry reading. But it has become an accepted part of the stand up comedy show, that some drunk housewife seated in the second row gets her turn in the spotlight. Stand up comedy gets less respect than bad poetry??? I’m pretty sure the poet can attend their family Christmas party with Uncle Harold suggesting some new rhymes. “Yeah, you can use that. It’s a doozey.”
by Keith Lowell Jensen
R
on Jeremy is the world’s most famous male porn star, but Ron wants to be more than just a porn star. He tried his hand at being a real actor, but his cameos in various B-Movies failed to endear him to critics or producers. He doesn’t have much of a singing voice either and the world probably isn’t ready for a Porn Politician, well outside of Italy I mean. So, Ron Jeremy does stand up comedy. It’s the obvious path, I mean who can’t do stand up? Actor Dustin Diamond was unable to follow up his stint as Screech on tween sitcom Saved By The Bell. He failed as an actor, a championship wrestler, a reality tv star and even his leaked celebrity sex tape “Saved By The Smell” (I only wish I were kidding about this one) failed to grab him much attention. Only one discipline granted him any kind of success. Screech can always fall back on his stand up comedy performances. Child star Danny Bonaduce was hard pressed to find a new life after being a Partridge. Drugs, reality TV, celebrity boxing, stand up comedy. We only know who John Wayne Bobbit is because his wife took the scissors to him. Yeah, he THE SET LIST – page 11
got gigs in some of the top ranked comedy clubs in the country. My fellow stand up comics, we may think ourselves artists. We may consider our discipline a beautiful way to hold a mirror up to our culture while helping society confront its fears, hypocrisies and insecurities. But to the masses we come in beneath fake sports, beneath amateur porn, beneath even that most hideous of beasts, reality television. Need more evidence? Put together an outing to a comedy show on evite. com. Baby Showers, Book Clubs even Karaoke Night are all available themes. The closest you’ll find to Comedy Show is Concert, or Night on The Town. Karaoke Night?!! Stand Up Comedy weighs in lower than Karaoke? Not insulting enough? Well Pet Parties comes in higher as well. Of course you can organize a comedy show outing on facebook then right? Nope, but you’d fare better if you were putting together a fun loving crew to go to the flea market. Facebook has an event category for flea market and ten for music, but comedy? Sorry. Go fish.
Humorists, who for the most part are people that fancy themselves funny but whose heads would explode if they ever had to face a rowdy bar crowd, end up on NPR doing thought provoking satire on current events. Stand up comics might luck into a gig on morning radio as the “Man On The Street” guy doing stunts, the most popular of which are those most likely to see said comic getting his or her ass kicked. And yet, there we are, night after night, facing the crowd, drunks and all, trying to make them laugh. What passion fuels such devotion in the face of such disrespect? Is it the same drive that kept Vincent van Gogh painting despite his failure to sell his work? Is it the same passion that led Beethoven to continue composing, even as his lost the ability to hear his work performed? Surely it must be more than the occasional free drink, the stale bar pretzels or the chance that the rare comedy club groupie might decide it’s your night at last. Actually, no, that’s about it.
19 RANDOM QUESTIONS WITH THE BAMMER by John Ross TSL: I understand you have two pugs. Bert and Blossom. Is that true? If so, what are their names attributed to? MB: Yes. It is true. Blossom was named for the Power Puff (?) girls by my nephew, George. Bert was named in order to save him from being called “Colby”- which is not his name at all. TSL: Your old stomping grounds of Duluth Minnesota have been referred to as “The Air Conditioned City.” Besides that nickname, what are some other names that might represent Duluth better? And why? MB: Duluth- We can hear you. There’s no reason to yell. Duluth- It’s an International Port because of the St. Lawerence Seaway and all of that. Duluth- maybe you should think about going to AA. Duluth- Yes- you drove through there some time in the 80’s. There’s a lake. Right. You remember. That one restaurant by a bridge. Duluthit’s getting real sophisticated nowadays. TSL: I have a friend that has lived in Duluth for many years. His name is Lee Johnson. Do you know him? MB: I do not. My Mom does. She is connected to us all. TSL: Your new album, “Unwanted Thought Syndrome,” is due out soon? Or is out already? Please tell me about it. MB: I don’t know when exactly- it’s good and it’s named after the type of OCD I have called, “Unwanted Thoughts Syndrome”. TSL: From the Comedians of Comedy Tour, if you were to pick between PattonOswalt, Zach Galifianakis and Brian Posehn and they were the last men on earth, which fellow would you choose to be your step-father and why? MB: Zach. He has a farm. TSL: On SuperDeluxe.com, your show, “The Maria Bamford Show,” has a total of 20 episodes. Do you have any plans to do any other shows in that format? MB: I’d love to, but no plans as of yet. Do you have any money? I would make it for you if you gave me some money! Or, we could barter!
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PRECIOUS PUGS, HAM AND UNWANTED THOUGHTS TSL: What other projects are in the works for you? MB: I’m writing a book on depression/mental illness and in the new Fox Animated Series “Sit Down Shut Up” as various side voices! Yay! TSL: Who are some of you favorite comics...past and present? MB: Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy- currentlyPatton Oswalt, Jesse Klein, Jimmy Dore, Jen Kirkman, Jackie Kashian, the list goes on! TSL: Where is your favorite place in Northern California to perform? MB: San Francisco Sketchfest! Coming up in January! TSL: Besides cash, what do you get out of performing? And how has it changed since you started? MB: I get lots of approval and prestige and the feeling that I’m acceptable in some way- and checks, some small, some large. I also get some encouragement to be more self-absorbed than I already am. I may go the Cat Stevens route and go AWOL from showbiz. What has changed is that I am less and less able to stay in certain Best Westerns, which seem to vary vastly in quality and upkeep. What has not changed is my sense that the best is yet to come! TSL: Maria, Wikipedia states that you attended Bates College in Lewiston, Maine. Now as most Americans know, Bates was founded in 1855 by abolitionists. Do you believe that the reason those “alleged” abolitionists decided to establish their institution in such a harsh climate, was because they knew that most African Americans are not well suited for the cold? Or do you think they truly were sincere in their abolitionist convictions? MB: Excellent point. When I attended Bates, there were approximately 1 1/2 African Americans- all within the confines of a very tall man named Ollie. I think Bates does it’s best to THE SET LIST – page 13
convince most people not to come there by being enormously expensive and then once you get there, by putting you in a squashed 4-bunk dorm room with rich kids from The City.
MB: Well, that’s horrible to imagine, but I’d like to have a unplgged guitar burial featuring the chords of my dad and boyfriend- as we buried theirshells and celebrated their spirits.
TSL: If you weren’t a comic, what would you do for a living? MB: Type. Listen. Go on breaks. Try.
TSL: Are you the type of person that cares more for animals than people? If so, why? If not, then explain your version of why those sick individuals behave in such an unrefined, barbaric manner. MB: People are more important than animals. That said, I’m a vegetarian, but if someone only has a ham for me to eat, I won’t turn it town or be weird about it.
TSL: What accomplishment are you most proud of in your life? MB: Keeping going and some participation in 12-step addiction groups for 18 years that shall remain nameless. (so you can have fun guessing!) TSL: What incident are you most ashamed of in your life? MB: Most recently, trying to control my mother’s need to ask questions about my roommate over the phone. Who cares? Answer her questions, ding dong! And then, over a lifetime, being late and/or cancelling things at the last minute with friends and professional bookings. This is an ongoing problem that I understand results from a Fear of Intimacy. TSL:How attached to your pugs are you? MB: If they needed my kidney, I would definitely donate. TSL: If one were to pass away in a horrible ice cream truck incident, what type arrangements would you make for it?
TSL:Do you feel pretty in dresses or uncomfortable? Explain. MB: I love dresses. I don’t wear them oftenwhich must mean I feel uncomfortable, but I love dresses. TSL: Advise for aspiring comedians? MB: Do it again and again and enjoy.
THE SET LIST
NOR CAL COMEDY CA
SPONSORED BY SACSTANDUP.COM AND SFSTANDU 1 .01
THURSDAY
New Years Day—in case you forgot...
1 .02
FRIDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Arj Barker with John Hoogasian and Greg Edwards, 8 :30 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Greg Giraldo with Sal Calanni, 8 & 10 COBBS COMEDY CLUB Craig Robinson 8:15 & 10
Arj Barker Punchline Sacramento January 2nd – 4th
SATURDAY
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Michael Loftus, 8 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Arj Barker with John Hoogasian and Greg Edwards, 8 :30 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Greg Giraldo with Sal Calanni, 8 & 10 COBBS COMEDY CLUB Craig Robinson 8:15 & 10
Ron White San Jose Center for the Performing Arts January 9th
Brian Dunkleman Laughs Unlimited January 15th ‑ 18th
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Andres Fernandez, 8 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Tom Rhodes with Kevin Avery and Joe Tobin, 8
1 .09
FRIDAY
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Andres Fernandez, 8 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Bobby Lee from Mad TV! 8:30 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Tom Rhodes with Kevin Avery and Joe Tobin, 8 & 10
SAN JOSE IMPROV Harland Williams 8 & 10
SUNDAY
SAN JOSECENTERFORTHEPERFORMINGARTS Ron White, 8
1 .10
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Michael Loftus, 8
Jerry Sienfeld Davies Symphony Hall January 23rd
THURSDAY
COBBS COMEDY CLUB Norm MacDonald 8 & 10
SAN JOSE IMPROV Pablo Francisco 7 & 9
1 .04
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Tom Rhodes with Kevin Avery and Joe Tobin, 8
SAN JOSE IMPROV Harland Williams, 8 THE PURPLE ONION Brent Weinbach & Moshe Kasher: Live Taping
SAN JOSE IMPROV Pablo Francisco 8 & 10
1 .03
WEDNESDAY
1 .08
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Michael Loftus, 8 & 10:30
Bobby Lee Punchline Sacramento January 9th – 11th
1 .07
SATURDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Arj Barker with John Hoogasian and Greg Edwards, 8:30
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Andres Fernandez, 8 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Comedy Showcase, 8
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Bobby Lee from Mad TV! 8:30pm & 10:30
SAN JOSE IMPROV Pablo Francisco 7
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Tom Rhodes with Kevin Avery and Joe Tobin, 8 & 10
1 .06
TUESDAY
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO Tom Rhodes with Kevin Avery and Joe Tobin, 8
COBBS COMEDY CLUB Norm MacDonald 8 & 10 SAN JOSE IMPROV Harland Williams 7 & 9
THE SET LIST – page 15
ALENDAR–JANUARY 2009
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1 .11
SUNDAY
1 .17
SATURDAY
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Brian Dunkleman, 8 & 10:30
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Bobby Lee from Mad TV! 8:30
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Josh Blue with Dennis Regan and Matt Morales, 8:30 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Sketchfest Presents: Aziz Ansari, 8 & 10 SAN JOSE IMPROV Tommy Davidson 7 & 9
SF Sketchfest Presents: Jimmy Pardo! 8 & 10
SAN JOSE IMPROV Harland Williams, 7
1 .15
SATURDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Ben Bailey from Cash Cab! 8:30 & 10:30
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Andres Fernandez, 8
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Comedy Showcase, 8
1 .24
1 .25
COBBS COMEDY CLUB David Alan Grier 8:15 & 10
THURSDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Ben Bailey from Cash Cab! 8:30
1 .18
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Brian Dunkleman, 8 PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Dennis Regan with Larry ‘Bubbles’ Brown and Matt Morales, 8:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Sketchfest Presents: Jimmy Pardo! 8 SAN JOSE IMPROV Justin McClure 8
1 .16
SAN JOSE IMPROV Eddie Griffin 7 & 9 pm
SUNDAY
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Brian Dunkleman, 8 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Josh Blue with Dennis Regan and Matt Morales, 8:30 & 10:30
LAUGHS UNLIMITED Brian Dunkleman, 8 PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Josh Blue with Dennis Regan and Matt Morales, 8:30
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Sketchfest Presents: Jimmy Pardo! 8 & 10
COBBS COMEDY CLUB David Alan Grier 8:15 & 10 SAN JOSE IMPROV Eddie Griffin 8 & 10 WELLS FARGO CENTER SANTA ROSA Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood, 8
COBBS COMEDY CLUB David Alan Grier 8:15
THURSDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Brian Malow - Rational Comedy for an Irrational Planet, 8:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Sketchfest Presents: Aziz Ansari, 8 SAN JOSE IMPROV Tommy Davidson 8
1 .23
FRIDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Ben Bailey from Cash Cab! 8:30 & 10:30 PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Sketchfest Presents: Aziz Ansari, 8 & 10 SAN JOSE IMPROV Tommy Davidson 8 & 10
(Image call-back)
THE SET LIST – page 16
1 .28
DAVIES SYMPHONY HALL Jerry Seinfeld
WEDNESDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Steve Byrne with Edwin Li, 8:30
1 .29
SAN JOSE IMPROV Kim Nalley 2 pm
1 .22
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Comedy Showcase, 8 SAN JOSE IMPROV Tommy Davidson, 8
PUNCH LINE SAN FRANCISCO SF Comedy Showcase, 8
FRIDAY
SUNDAY
THURSDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Steve Byrne with Edwin Li, 8:30
1 .30
FRIDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Steve Byrne with Edwin Li, 8:30 & 10:30 SAN JOSE IMPROV Margret Cho 8 & 10
1 .31
SATURDAY
PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO Steve Byrne with Edwin Li, 8:30 & 10:30 SAN JOSE IMPROV Margret Cho 7 & 9
L I S T I N G S LAUGHS UNLIMITED 1207 Front St. Old Sacramento, CA 916-446-8128 www.laughsulimited.com PUNCH LINE SACRAMENTO 2100 Arden Way Sacramento, CA 916-925-8500 SACRAMENTO COMEDY SPOT 1716 Broadway Sacramento, CA 916-402-4757 www.saccomedyspot.com PEPPER BELLY’S 849 Texas Street Fairfield, CA 94533 (707) 422-SHOW www.pepperbellys.com COBBS COMEDY CLUB 915 Columbus Ave San Francisco, CA 94133 (415) 928-4320 www.cobbscomedyclub.com PUNCH LINE SF 444 Battery Street San Francisco, CA 94111 (415) 397-7573 TOMMY T’s 5104 Hopyard Road Pleasanton, CA 94588 (925) 227-1800 www.tommyts.com ROOSTER T. FEATHERS 157 W. El Camino Real Sunnyvale, CA 94087 (408) 736-0921 www. roostertfeathers.com SAN JOSE IMPROV 62 South Second Street San Jose, CA 95150 (408) 280-7475 www.improv.com
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THE SET LIST – page 16
Horoscopes
with Flora Heppest x Aquarius - 1/20 - 2/18 You have little time left and the clock is ticking. Father time is getting older and you haven’t reached your goals yet. You have procrastinated long enough and though time may fly by when your having fun, this is no time to waste. Don’t hold your breath or you might run out of air. This is the time for you to put down what your doing and start that unfinished project. Don’t finish what your doing now, you can always come back to it later. Your lotto number is two. Find a lottery that only lets you pick one digit and you might find yourself a rich man by the end day. Find a one digit lottery who tells you the winner on a daily basis.
j Pisces 2/19 - 3/20 You were born before Aries and you must feel pretty proud of yourself. You probably think your poop don’t stink. Well I promise you it does; it stinks to high heaven. You have always thought you were better than the rest of the signs, and why? Just because you blend with Aquarius, sitting at the right hand of January, the irst month ever to exist? You think you’re so special with your leap year...go to hell!
v Aries 3/21 - 4/19 You always have to put up with Pisces’ shit and for that I’m sorry. But I won’t always be here to help you. Can I tell you something Aries? You tend to always want to play the role of the victim and to be honest, it’s kind of a turn off. You need to stand up for yourself once in a while and stop letting the other signs walk all over you. Look, there’s always going to be a Pisces out there and on this calendar you can only depend on yourself. So you either stick up for yourself, or stop complaining about it. Remember, before you can love anyone else, you have to first love yourself.
d Taurus 4/20 - 5/20 Hey I told you I’d have your money. Please call your dogs off. If I can’t use my hands then you’ll never get your money. I still got three days, so back off. Dropping me off a bridge with a pair of cement shoes isn’t going to help either of us. So again, tell your goons to go back to the hole they crawled out of and I’ll see you on Thursday. And if you don’t; then I wear size 11.
p Gemini 5/21 - 6/21 A lot of people said this day wouldn’t come, they said you didn’t have what it took, and I agreed with them for the most part. But here we are. God, you sure have changed. What happened to us huh? We were in love once. Maybe it was just the time, maybe it was all the drugs we were doing. You know, we really thought that with a little grass we could change the world. Ha! What fools we were, young fools. But here you are, as beautiful as the last time I saw you. You haven’t changed a bit, apart from noticeably aging and being visibly bitter and having that hunch, gaining a few hundred pounds and having all those Russian prison tattoos. Don’t worry Gemini, there are more good times ahead.
t Cancer - 6/22 - 7/22 Your self absorbed ways are the key to your survival. Your narcissism is guiding your career in the right direction. Don’t stop now or you will have let the little people down. There is always a quiet before the storm. Now, that doesn’t mean you need to tone down your obnoxious ways. If the storm ain’t there then make one! You always thought you deserved more respect and deep down, you know everyone else thinks so too. But they’re all just jealous and they wish they had half as much talent as you have; just a fraction of the amount of that “special something” you were born with and couldn’t get rid of if you tried. And that’s abundantly clear in everything you do.
n Leo 7/23 - 8/22 Jason, stop drinking. And if you ever choke your girlfriend again your going to be killed by her son. He’s only nine but he knows where you hide your gun and don’t think shooting you hasn’t already crossed his mind.
b Virgo 8/23 - 9/22 You have had some hard times in the past, and guess what Virgo, theres more to come so don’t sit down just yet! If an apple a day keeps the doctor a way, I suggest planting an apple tree because soon you’llfind that your health is as bad as strangers suggest it is, with all their pointing and laughing behind your back and evasive eye contact during unavoidable casual conversation. You can exercise all you want but it won’t make a bit of difference. Even three minute ab workouts might put you under. You’re at the cusp of death, the edge of oblivion and at this point, I can’t see any way you can avoid the reaper.
l Libra 9/23 - 10/22 If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were about to be the luckiest person alive; but I do and you’re not. Maybe some day, once you get off your ass and do something, then maybe then, something, anything, will happen. But I don’t see you doing that and I think we all know where your life is headed.
f Scorpio 10/23 - 11/21 You better tell that slut Mona that she best stay away from my man, and if that slut wants to throw down, tell her to meet me at Jefferson Park tonight! Tell that bitch, that if I ever see her around my man again, I’m going to kill her punk ass! If I see her skank ass at the club I’m going to stab that ho! And to all you fine men out there, holla back at your girl...
h Sagittarius 11/22 - 12/21 Sagittarius, Sagittarius, Sagittarius... I don’t even know where to start, actually... why even bother.
r Capricorn 12/22 - 1/19 Actually things are looking up for you, keep an eye out for a big bag of money. Never mind the blood, just throw those bills away.
THE SET LIST – page 17
You’ve seen the Old Funnies, well here’s...
THE NEW FUNNIES JOSH AND NADIE FOREVER
GRANDMA
Do you you have a New Funny? If you do we’ed love to hear from you. Submit your comic to thenewfunnies@ yahoo.com for a chance to be published. All formats need to be need to be 10 X 2.5 at 250 DPI. Good Luck! If we use your comic, we’ll lend you some cash or something...TSL
by a Simple Mind
by MARY VAN NOTE
POQUITO BURRITO
by John Ross
THE SET LIST – page 18
BADLY DRAWN ROBOTS
GETTING OLD FAST
THE SET LIST – page 19
by CHEESE
by RAY MOLINA