Issue 183

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THE SAINT

ISSUE 183 • FREE 24 April 2014 thesaint-online.com

The independent voice of St Andrews students since 1997

University fears accommodation deficit next year

Features Sir Menzies Campbell explains why he thinks Scottish independence would be detrimental for St Andrews

Returning students offered release from contracts to free up space The University has offered to release returning students with places in halls of residence from their accommodation contracts because of concerns about the availability of accommodation for first year students. An email sent to all returning students who had received a place in a hall said: “We are aware that some students who have already accepted places have subsequently had the offer of places within private flats and may prefer to pursue that option. Under normal circumstances we would not release students from their contractual obligations to the University, however due to the unique circumstances of reduced capacity and strong demand anticipated from entrant students, we will this year.” The current University accommodation terms and conditions state that under normal circumstances contracts can only be cancelled within seven days of accepting an offer. After seven

days “you will be liable for the rent during the entire period of licence, including catering costs, if applicable.” For this academic year, a limited number of students will be given the opportunity to be released from these regulations, allowing some of those who accepted University accommodation to choose private flats or houses instead. The email from the University continued: “The offer will be limited and will be administered on a first come first served [basis] until such time as the requisite number of vacant places has been achieved and may therefore be withdrawn at any time.” The University has committed to guaranteeing accommodation for all new undergraduate students, but an overall rise in the number of students has made it increasingly difficult to ensure all entrants are provided with their preferred accommodation. In the academic year 2009 to 2010, 1,395 undergraduate students were admitContinued on page 4

Sport Andrew McQuillan considers whether Glasgow will rise to the occasion of the Commonwealth Games? Page 33 Photo: Sammi McKee

Laura Abernethy News editor Rachael Miller News sub-editor

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Teams from across the UK travelled to St Andrews to compete in the largest student-run rugby 7s tournament in the UK. For coverage see www.thesaint-online.com

‘Unacceptable’: University may have broken rules by retaining governor Court member steps down to allow senior governor to extend term limit Elliot Davies Editor The University could be in breach of a Scottish government policy by deciding to keep on its senior governor after his term limit expired. The Scottish Code of Good Higher Education Governance states that “the reappointment of a chair beyond two terms of four years, or the equivalent,

should be regarded as exceptional.” But at a meeting in January, members of the University Court voted to reappoint Ewan Brown, who has been the senior governor for eight years since August 2006, “for a further and final period of two years, from 1 August 2014 to 31 July 2016”. He had been due to step down in July this year. The senior governor is one of the

University’s most important figures and serves as its day-to-day chairman. His responsibilities include chairing the Court - the University’s highest governing body - in the rector’s absence. The Saint understands that the reason given for retaining Mr Brown was that no other Court members were suitable to take over the role. Chloe Hill, the president of the

Students’ Association, who sits on the Court, expressed her frustration at the University’s apparent failure to comply with the guidelines. She said: “I was disappointed that the Court had not make provisions to ensure we had a new senior governor at the end of Ewan’s term, and voiced my concerns that this wasn’t Continued on page 5

Arts & Culture Ruairidh Bowen takes a frank look at the exciting and obscure culture of drag Page 31

Money Joshua Pooley munches his way through an entire week of fast food Page 13


2 News

thesaint-online.com

Inside the paper

UCU report shows reluctance to reveal details of principals’ pay

The Saint’s complete guide to the Scottish independence debate Features, pages 18-19 Arts and Culture

Viewpoint

Stephanie Irwin debuts new fashion feature ‘Saints on the street’

Jamie MacWhirter muses on the problems inherent in British politics

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Events

Arts & Culture

Tamar Ziff previews this weekend’s University of St Andrews TEDx event

The Saint continues its book club with a new reading list to keep your summer occupied

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Editorial board

Editorial

Editor Elliot Davies editor@thesaint-online.com Deputy editor Elliott Miskin Production manager Matthew Despard production@thesaint-online.com Deputy production manager Omar Ali Web editor Chris Walker web@thesaint-online.com Video editor Henry Legg video@thesaint-online.com Illustration chief Monica Burns illustration@thesaint-online.com Business manager Sophie Kelly business@thesaint-online.com Business team Alex Rowe, Charlotte Andersen advertising@thesaint-online.com

Carrie Magee SRC correspondent St Andrews was one of a number of universities which did not reveal details of meetings to set pay level rises for vice-chancellors and principals in a report by the Universities and College

Millions of pounds of public money are spent on salaries, yet their pay rise is decided behind closed doors Union (UCU). The UCU asked universities across the UK to provide the minutes of the meetings that set pay for vice-chancellors and principals, called remuneration meetings or committees. Of the 139 institutions asked, only 27 sent minutes. 14 of those 27 redacted their minutes. 15 per cent of the universities did

24 April 2014 • The Saint

not respond to the UCU’s request. Another 66 per cent claimed confidentiality of the minutes requested and thus did not provide them. University of St Andrews was one of those institutions. When asked, the University of St Andrews’ Court office said that: “The University does not publish Court committee minutes, of which our Remuneration and Human Resources Committee is one. This is largely due to issues of commercial sensitivity or other personal information that may be contained herein.” This information comes in the wake of data from the Times Higher Education Survey that said that vice-chancellors enjoyed a pay hike of 5.5 per cent across the country between 2011-12 and 2012-13. Louise Richardson, principal and vicechancellor of St Andrews, has not received a pay rise for the last five years.

The general secretary of the UCU, Sally Hunt, was unsatisfied by the data. She said: “Millions of pounds of public money are spent on vice-chancellors’ salaries, yet their pay rise is decided behind closed doors with no accountability.” She went on to note that “all but five university vice-chancellors earned more than the prime minister last year, while staff have been on strike six times this year in protest at a measly one per cent pay offer. We believe there is a strong and legitimate public interest to justify these growing six-figure salaries.” A St Andrews spokesman said: “Full details of [Professor Richardson’s] remuneration are published in the University’s accounts annually.” Louise Richardson has not taken a pay rise for five years but the University did not provide minutes of the meetings to set her pay. Photo: The Saint

Our Bubble is full to bursting

Wanted: new senior governor

Yet again, we are forced to return to the age-old issue of problems with University accommodation. Despite the imminent demolition of Fife Park, St Andrews administrators have accepted year-on-year increases in the intake of first year students without providing a comparable increase in rooms. This is unacceptable. The University, having already offered places to incoming students, is now left with only one option - to reduce the number of returning students to halls of residence. While St Andrews is fairly unique in its tradition of having students in their second, third and fourth years come back to halls, this newspaper believes it to be a tradition which is vital to the lifeblood of this small institution. By having the same students coming back year on year, we can improve upon the student body’s sense of community. Senior students, social reps, hall committees - all of these and more are under threat if existing students are prevented from returning to the corridors where they have lived since day one. We are a small town. Private accommodation is a highly sought-after

Just what is going on with our University’s governance? In February The Saint reported on the resignation of Des McSweeney, the vice principal for external relations who lasted just half a year in the job. At the time we wondered what had gone wrong: did he just dislike it and decide to move on, or had the University hired the wrong man? Now it’s the turn of the senior governor. The University Court has determined that Ewan Brown, who has been the University’s chair since 2006, should stay on for a further two years. It appears to be a clear contravention of the Scottish government’s Code of Good Governance, which says that chairs should stay no longer than eight years except in “exceptional” circumstances. The Court’s justification? None of its other members - not a single person on the highest governing body of the University, which comprises many of its most senior figures - was qualified to do the job. It raises quite an obvious question: why on earth not? The University has had plenty of time to train another Court member to fill Mr Brown’s shoes. And if for some reason there really was nobody

commodity, and the University has a duty to be there for those students who cannot, for whatever reason, move out of hall. While new buildings cannot be built overnight, there are several ways in which we can prevent issues like this occurring again in future. First and foremost, the University should accept fewer first year students to ensure that problems like those experienced by Hannah Kilmas do not become recurring complications every September. If the University continues to accept more students while insufficient accommodation is available, then existing students and traditions will suffer. Secondly, it is vital that the University learns from this year’s mistakes. While some students may have benefitted from the ability to opt-out of their contracts, this must not be allowed to be a repeating issue. The new Fife Park will have an increased capacity and we welcome this progress. Until it is completed, however, the University has a duty to all students - present and future to ensure that there are beds for any newcomers and returners who want them.

suitable, why not open up the process and bring in outside candidates? But instead of external applications we got internal machinations. The chancellor’s assessor, Dr David Erdall, appears to have stood down so Mr Brown could take his job, thereby dodging his term limit and allowing him to stay on as senior governor. The role of chancellor’s assessor has no term limit. Although the Court minutes note that a succession plan is to be put in place for Mr Brown, there is no guarantee that history will not repeat itself; what if the Court again fails to find a replacement in 2016? Term limits exist for a reason, and this newspaper must protest Mr Brown’s reappointment. However good a governor he is, his time is up. Meanwhile, the University’s apparent inability to search for a suitable replacement is hardly an exceptional circumstance. For the Court to bend its own rules is one thing; to flout government guidelines is another. Des McSweeney and Ewan Brown are, so far, isolated incidents. We hope they will remain so. Otherwise we really will have to ask: just what is going on with our University’s governance?

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News editor: Laura Abernethy Sub-editors: Rachael Miller, Carrie Magee, Matthew Litherland, Sarah Dickins, Emily Benbow news@thesaint-online.com

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Matthew Litherland National news correspondent A recently formed campaign group aiming to highlight the access issues faced by disabled people has called on the University to support schemes that make its premises more accessible. The St Andrews Access Group (SAAG), which is affiliated to Disabilities Fife, was set up last year by PhD student Haian Dukhan and held its first meeting last week at the Old Course hotel. Mr Dukhan spoke to The Saint, outlining the issues he faces as a wheelchair user in accessing certain University buildings: “Many of them are old and the University says that they are listed. In general, the University has made good progress in making many of their buildings accessible - they have done good work in the Students’ Union [and] the new cafe is wheelchair friendly. “On the other hand I remember once going to the sports centre. I wanted to go and watch my friend play in a game, and we needed to go up a level, but we were told that there is no lift. What am I supposed to do if I want to play a sport which is based on the second floor?” Mr Dukhan also added that some University accommodation has access issues: “My University accommodation is wheelchair accessible, but if I want to visit my friends who live in other buildings like Gannochy House, there are problems.” He went on to note that it is not just older buildings

which are troublesome: “The Arts building (which was only completed in 2006) only has one lift. They had a problem with the lift, and it took them more than a month to fix it. All the lectures and seminars had to be moved to other buildings because of me “You may read about an event a few hours in advance, and you realise it’s not in an accessible building. If you e-mail the University, they will

If the University wants to attract more students with disabilities, they need to work more on accessibility say that you should have given them notice - you need to prepare for attending events well beforehand, it’s quite challenging.” The access Ggoup was addressed by Sukhi Bains, the University’s equality and diversity officer, who explained that the University has created a webpage called ‘Reporting accessibility difficulties across Fife’. Some of the issues since reported by disabled staff and students, as well

as by others present at the meeting, include: difficulties travelling along narrow pavements on the main St Andrews streets owing to obstructive shop advertising hoardings; challenges faced when moving between buildings - for example, the lack of a safe crossing point from John Burnet Hall to the North Haugh; timetables at the bus station being positioned too high up for disabled people to view; and food outlets placing tables and chairs on the pavements, forcing disabled people to travel on uncomfortable cobbles Explaining the University’s response, Mr Bains noted that a company was commissioned to take pictures of all University buildings, and subsequently provided an in-depth analysis of improvements needed. Furthermore, when the University constructs or refurbishes buildings, it engages with disabled students via the disability advisors in Student Services. Finally, equality training is provided to all staff and managers to foster greater awareness. He conceded, though, that “we do have a lot of issues that we need to address... Where’s the pot of money that’s going to make this difference? That’s what we are trying to negotiate at the moment, but we should have a concrete long term plan.” Mr Bains said that access is an issue many staff identify with: “There are some really good professors and really great people working in the Principal’s Office who want to help make the environment better - we do have a lot of passion there.”

Photo: Haian Dukhan

New access group calls for University to improve disabled access arrangements

Haian Dukhan has set up a disabled access group for students to speak about concerns Roderick Campbell, the SNP MSP for North East Fife, also spoke about various facets of equalities legislation. He pointed out the existence of a website (www.euansguide.com) where disabled people can share reviews of the access arrangements for any venues they encounter. Fife Council’s access officer, Robert Ferguson, gave a speech in which he acknowledged the numerous calls to lower kerbs so that disabled people can travel around more easily. However, he said that the Council has not yet got a budget for carrying

out access improvements specifically, so any funding would have to come from other departmental budgets. Mr Ferguson said that since he took up the role, the number of buildings certified as disabled friendly has dropped sharply due to him putting in place far stricter criteria. Looking to the future, Mr Dukhan said: “It seems that the University is working well in this area, but it’s not one of its priorities. If they want to attract more students with disabilities, they need to work more on accessibility issues”.

Renovations to Quad will begin in summer Sarah Dickins SSC correspondent

Photo: Sammi McKee

Major renovations to St Salvator’s Quadrangle are scheduled to begin in the summer of 2014. Areas of planned renovation include improvements to the tarmac pathway around the perimeter of the

Quadrangle, the iconic central lawn, and surrounding iron and woodwork. Improved lighting will also be installed. According to the University’s website, the projects plans “to ensure that the space is safer and more accessible than ever before.” It proposes to achieve this by installing a series

St Salvator’s Quad will be redeveloped in the coming year to improve disabled access

of ramps to the Cloister, Chapel, the entrance on Butts Wynd and to the Upper and Lower College Halls. Extensive architectural plans have been drawn up by Ian White Associations, a Stirling-based landscape architectural company. Among other things, they pledge to provide “a design that is timeless and low-key”. Crucially, these proposals intend to maintain the traditional, historical character of the area. Ian White Associates say that the upcoming renovations will “provide flexibility for events”. St Salvator’s Quadrangle is the centre of many such academic occasions. The site includes Schools 1-6, where many lectures and tutorials are held, and the Upper and Lower College Halls, which are frequently used as examination venues. The Quad also hosts popular extra-curricular events throughout the year. These range from weekly non-denominational services in the Chapel to various balls and fashion shows, and the infamous Raisin Weekend foam fight. The renovations

aim to make these activities more accessible for all students and staff. The University does not anticipate that the redevelopment will cause any serious disruption to daily activities. A spokesperson for the University said: “Work is scheduled to begin in the summer, after graduation, and is expected to take seven to eight months to complete.” Current redevelopment proposals, therefore, are planned to be completed by the end of the first semester of the coming 2014-2015 academic year. Though the renovation work will continue into the next academic year, the University hopes that disturbance to normal academic life “will be kept to a minimum”. The University considers the renovations necessary, saying: “As future generations of students flood into this area for their traditional graduation photographs with families and friends, the Quad will be accessible to all.” It aims to ensure that the Quadrangle remains “a backdrop worthy of its place at the heart of

many memories of St Andrews.” According to the University website, these renovations will cost £700,000 but will be funded by St Andrews Parents and Alumni Resource Community (SPARC). SPARC is an “online community for alumni, family and friends of the University”. SPARC’s projects form an element of the University’s 600th anniversary celebrations. They are currently raising funds for a number of projects across the University.

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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Photo: Maria Faciolince

Work begins on Fife Park redevelopment

Emily Benbow Town news correspondent The redevelopment of the Fife Park Houses has begun, leaving some current residents feeling as if they are being “forced out”. Contractors Sir Robert McAlpine have recently felled trees and removed much of the shrubbery from Fife Park in response to an ecological survey in order to prevent birds from nesting in

advance of the demolition. Digging will begin on-site this week in order to establish the exact location of underground utilities such as gas, water and power. Surveyors will also be on-site for several days in early May at dawn and dusk in order to locate any bats nesting, as well as to conduct predemolition surveys which will take four to six weeks. Many current residents of Fife

Park are frustrated by these preliminary works taking place in advance of the demolition. Residential and Business Services circulated an email on 20 March informing residents that phase two was going ahead and they would be felling trees in the area to prevent birds nesting. Within five days, many of the trees between the houses were killed. Several residents expressed frustration that this happened while

students are still living in the accommodation. One, Lauren Holmes, said: “They’ve cut almost everything to the ground... in some ways it feels like we’re being forced out.” Meanwhile, other residents complained that the felling occurred earlier than planned. One first year said she was “woken up by chainsaws under my window at eight in the morning”. One student who has lived in Fife Park for three years said: “They should have done this last year when they had an opportunity instead of disrupting students so close to exams and when dissertations are due. “It’s like they’re preparing for a funeral before someone’s even died... Some guy in a suit rocked up the other day assessing the place. He clearly had no regard for the fact that people are still living here, this is still their home. “I’m bothered by the lack of vegetation and the lack of care about cleaning up after hacking it down. “The digging work over the next week is just another nail in the coffin. It feels like they don’t think it even matters to us.” As work got underway, a consultation meeting last week revealed further plans of what the new residences would look like once completed. Set to house just over 300 students, the apartments will be largely in keeping with the existing design and materials of Fife Park Apartments. The blocks will be a mixture of two, three and four storey self-catered blocks with both en-suite and shared bathroom facilities. Construction is planned for completion in August 2015. The University

is keen to ensure minimal disruption to the area but students living close to the site next year can expect construction work to begin at 8 am on weekdays and from 9 am on Saturdays. The contractors aim to minimise disruption during exam periods and dissertation deadlines. The apartments will be eventually powered entirely by the Guardbridge biomass plant. Many of the current materials and furnishings of Fife Park will be recycled or reused. Current undergraduate students will move out when their contracts finish at the end of May. Postgraduate

The digging work... is just another nail in the coffin. It feels like they don’t think it even matters to us students who were scheduled to remain in Fife Park over the summer months will be moved to alternative accommodation or released from their contracts. The houses will then be demolished to make way for the new buildings. The University had not replied to a request for comment by press time.

Reduced capacity and demand from entrants could put pressure on hall availability Continued from page 1 ted to the University. This year, 2013 to 2014, the intake of undergraduate students had risen to 1,540. The number of UCAS offers made over this period also increased from 5,075 to 5,802. This gradual increase in first year students over the last five years has not been matched by an increase in accommodation, which may place further strain on halls of residence. These increases have led to some students being placed into temporary or previously unused rooms. At the beginning of this academic year, a number of first year students were temporarily placed in Eden Court, a residence which had been reserved for postgraduate students. Others, such as Hannah Kilmas, were placed in rooms that had not been advertised on the University website. Ms Kilmas was offered a place in Andrew Melville Hall as requested but her room included an en suite. The room cost £5,751 for a year’s single catered accommodation, over £1,000 more than the price quoted by the

University’s website for a single room in Andrew Melville of £4,723. No ensuite options are listed on the website. After Ms Kilmas’ story appeared in The Saint, she was offered an alternative room but turned this down given

Capacity will be reduced... but the accommodation guarantee remains a firm commitment the proximity of the start of term. In 2012 the University decreased the number of accommodation offers it made to returning students in order to allow more space for entrants. However, this led to many students

struggling to find accommodation and an emergency meeting had to be held to help. Additionally, the redevelopment of Fife Park from May this year will see a loss of 162 beds. This means that during the next academic year there will be an overall reduced capacity. When it was revealed that the long-awaited redevelopment of the 40-year-old houses would begin this summer, the University promised that contingency plans would be put in place. The move to release some students from their contracts is one of the precautionary measures for the upcoming academic year to try to ensure students are not affected by the loss of beds. The new Fife Park will have over 300 beds and a range of different accommodation. A University spokesperson explained the reasoning behind the decision to release some returning students from their accommodation contracts: “For the coming academic year residential capacity will be reduced due to the redevelopment of Fife Park, and the University is considering a range of measures to

ensure all qualifying undergraduate entrant students are guaranteed accommodation. This remains a firm commitment. “While the actual number of entrant students likely to take up places at St Andrews will not be known until later in the year, contingencies are being taken now as a precaution. Funds have been made available to bring unused capacity back into operation, and the capacities of operational residences are being reviewed to identify any other unused, available accommodation. In addition, any returning students who have recently taken up an offer of University accommodation and wish to reconsider their decision have the opportunity to be released from their contract. Within the first week of this opportunity being declared there has been an encouraging response. “The University will continue to monitor the situation to determine what, if any, additional measures may be necessary to ensure that all students are able to find accommodation for the forthcoming academic year.”

14%

increase in UCAS offers made from 2009/10 to 2013/14

10%

increase in student intake via UCAS over same period

162

beds temporarily lost due to Fife Park redevelopment


Government policy could have been breached by University Continued from page 1 an acceptable solution. It is important to have a regular cycle of Court members to ensure it is dynamic and forward thinking.” Minutes from the meeting note that “a defined process for the identification of a potential successor [should] be put in place well in advance of the completion of Mr Brown’s final term, to allow for appropriate succession planning and a handover of responsibilities.” As well as overseeing the Court, the senior governor is responsible for representing the University on national bodies and annually reviewing the principal’s performance. He also convenes several Court subcommittees. These include Planning and Resources, which authorises large expenditures such as those for the Union and Athletic Union redevelopments, and Remunerations, which is responsible for setting the pay of senior staff. The initial recommendation to extend Mr Brown’s term was made by the Governance and Nominations committee, a group of eight members including the principal and the president of the Students’ Association. Minutes of the G&N committee are not publicly available. Because the senior governor is

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The Saint •24 April 2014

elected from among the Court’s lay members, candidates must already hold a position to be eligible for the job. Since 2006 Mr Brown had held the role of general council assessor, a position with a term limit of eight years. When this period expired Mr Brown was given the role of chancellor’s assessor, allowing him to remain

A University spokesperson failed to explain why the Court had not complied with the Code of Good HE Governance on the Court and be reappointed as senior governor. The previous chancellor’s assessor, Dr David Erdal, who vacated his seat for Mr Brown, sat on the G&N committee that recommended Mr Brown’s reappointment.

The chancellor’s assessor position does not have a set term limit. A review of higher education governance commissioned by the Scottish government in 2011 recommended that “the existing practice in some universities of having ‘chancellor’s assessors’ should be discontinued”. A University spokesperson failed to explain why the Court had not complied with the Code of Good HE Governance. Instead, when asked to respond to the concerns, they said: “Ewan Brown has been an outstanding senior governor for the University and we are delighted to have his knowledge and experience on Court. His reappointment was made through the relevant committees, which incorporate staff and student members, and was in line with the code current at the time.” Although the Code of Good HE Governance does not constitute a strict set of rules and is not legally binding, it notes in its introduction that “all universities in Scotland will be expected to comply with the Code’s main principles and to observe the guidelines.” It also says that “the Scottish Funding Council will require institutions to follow the Code as a condition of a grant of public funding... Accordingly the Code is issued on a ‘comply or explain’ basis.”

RAF Leuchars to hold final farewell event Laura Abernethy News editor RAF Leuchars will hold a homecoming parade in St Andrews on 10 May to mark the end of their 100 years operating over the skies of Fife. The event will include the Homecoming Parade for 58 Squadron of the Royal Air Force Regiment, who are currently serving at Camp Bastion in Afghanistan. The parade will be the first time in six years that RAF Leuchars has exercised its right to parade, granted by the Royal Burgh of St Andrews in 1968. Standard bearers will march the Freedom Scroll alongside the Standards of 1 (Fighter), 6 and 58 Squadrons, accompanied by more than 250 Royal Air Force Leuchars personnel. The pa-

rade will be supported by the band of the Royal Air Force College, Cranwell and the Royal Air Force Leuchars Pipes and Drums. The RAF have been based at Leuchars outside St Andrews for 100 years, but in 2015 it will be given over to the army. One of Scotland’s most famous army regiments, the Royal Scots Dragoon guards, will move into the base, alongside a battalion of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers. Last year, it was announced that the annual air show at Leuchars would be the last. Number 6 squadron recently celebrated their 100 anniversary at Leuchars with a parade and a special flypast featuring Typhoon and Hurricane aircraft.


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The Saint • 24 April 2014

InFocus: Joanna Rodgers, senior visitor services facilitator of MUSA

“It’s right on your doorstep, there are so many amazing opportunities” The Museum of the University of St Andrews (MUSA) is a fascinating, though sometimes whacky, conglomerate of artefacts relating to the University past and present. With 35,520 visitors in 2013, the museum has established itself as a somewhat hidden gem in its five years of existence. Joanna Rodgers, the senior visitor services facilitator, began volunteering at MUSA while studying as an undergraduate at St Andrews. Now studying for a part-time master’s degree in modern history, Joanna is thankful to have found such an interesting and convenient job right on her doorstep. She said: “I think the history of the University is such a major part of what people enjoy about the University and why people choose to come here. And I think it’s also really important as a focal point for visitors to the University as well. “Research can sometimes seem a little bit opaque and I think it’s great to have a venue and a series of events which allow people who maybe

I think the history of the University is such a major part of what people enjoy about the University and why people choose to come here aren’t academics to access it a little bit more.” MUSA is home to four exhibition spaces. The first documents the early history of the University, the second explores student life, and the third looks at inventions and the learning experience, with sections dedicated to science, the arts and divinity. Following this, the fourth gallery is a temporary exhibition space. Currently, this houses an exhibition on graduation. From September, however, this will change to a showcase of the study of medicine in St Andrews. “The primary aim of the museum is to bring the University’s collections to a wider audience and to tell both prospective students, students, their parents and visitors about the University,” continued Joanna.

“And then within that we have all of these wider events to engage people in that main primary aim.” MUSA is not just a static museum. With a full list available on MUSA’s website, a whole host of events are run throughout the year ranging from comedy nights to crafts workshops to children’s ‘animal magic’ days. “So we do everything from a walk around the town telling you about different things in the University all the way through to things like that children’s event.” “We do such a lot of good work in the community as well, kids love coming here, it’s a nice place to go with your family, it’s a nice place to go to look out over the ocean as well.” With a rooftop viewing point, the museum boasts gorgeous views over the North Sea. With free entrance – though of course donations are always welcome – it is almost worth paying a visit for the scenery alone, especially on a nice day. But the contents inside are in many ways just as impressive. Joanna’s favourite pieces are the ancient maces; which were the central items in a previous exhibition displaying university maces from around Europe. The St Andrews maces, she tells me, were some of the first objects accumulated by the University in 1419 – they were even prioritised over books or buildings. “The maces are there to symbolise the power and so they’re really important. All the European universities that were in existence at the time like Paris and Boulogne already had their maces. So the first thing that the University did was commission a mace.” A delegate was sent to Paris to buy books and the mace. However, “when he got there he realised the mace was going to be more expensive so they said don’t bother about the books, as long you bring back the mace. So it is one of the things that we are really proud of here at MUSA.” These might be the most impressive items in the collection, “but we have a few hidden treasures as well.” Among these is a miniature replica of the Peter Pan statue in Kensington Gardens, donated to University Hall by former rector and author JM Barrie. Another is a letter written to the principal by JRR. Tolkein in 1939, when he came to St Andrews for the Andrew Lang lectures still run by the School of English today. According to Joanna, its contents are important, “looking at the intellectual basis of fairy stories of the type which later became The Lord of the Rings. “So it’s things that you wouldn’t expect to find here that I find most interesting.” MUSA is just one of the exhibition spaces owned by the University. The Gateway Galleries provide more temporary exhibition space, while

Rachael Miller University news correspondent St Andrews researchers have development a treatment which could cure every strand of the flu. According to the World Health Organisation, influenza epidemics claim up to 500,000 lives each year and the virus remains a serious health issue. Scientists involved hope that this preventive treatment can be used against current, future and even pandemic strains of the virus. The research was led by Professor Garry Taylor and Dr Helen Connaris in the Biomedical Sciences Research Complex. They said: “We have developed an alternative host-targeted approach to prevent influenza by synthesising novel proteins, or biologics, that are designed to mask specific sugar molecules that line the respiratory tract. “The influenza virus, and indeed other respiratory pathogens, needs to bind to these sugars to gain entry to our cells to start the infection process.”

Leading microscope developed Rachael Miller University news correspondent

Photo: Henry Legg

Rachael Miller University news correspondent

Scientists find possible flu cure

Joanna Rodgers with one of the medieval maces at the MUSA the Bell Pedigree museum in St Mary’s Quad is home to a zoological museum. “And we also have our collections store. MUSA displays a lot of artefacts that the University has accumulated but it is only a small fraction. I think the number of object we have in the University Museum and Collections Unit it 112,000. So it’s a lot. We also do tours of the collections in there.” Joanna’s enthusiasm for the job is evident. For the history, for the place, for the people; she would fully encourage anyone with an in interest in the University’s history to get involved. “It’s so easy, it’s right on your doorstep and there are so many amazing opportunities to get involved. We currently have five volunteers and they’re all students and then we also have casual staff and most of them

are students as well.” MUSA has firm links with the University, offering two highly contested traineeships to student on the Museums and Galleries postgraduate master’s course each year. “One is a learning and access traineeship so that’s a lot to do with outreach for museums and how to get people interested and educated about what it is that we do here – working a lot with the children but also adults. And the other one is a collections traineeship which is to do with hands on experience with working with the collections. So that’s another good link with the University, we literally take on students.” MUSA is a fantastic facility both for the University and the community. With a clean, modern space and passionate, motivated staff, it is well worth a visit.

Researchers at the University of St Andrews have developed a microscope which provides a more detailed view of biological cells. The microscope uses curved sheets of light, known as the “airy beam”, to provide highly detailed images over a 10 times larger volume than previously available. It is hoped that the development will lead to improved understanding of biological development, cancer and diseases which affect the human brain such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, and Huntington’s diseases. Professor Kishan Dholakia and Dr Tom Vettenburg, both physicists, led the team of researchers. Professor Dholakia said: “Our novel methodology allows the University of St Andrews to emerge as a world leading institute for biomedical imaging, something we could not have envisaged even a few years ago. “The peculiar curved light sheet formed by the airy beam is not a single sheet but consists of multiple parallel sheets of varying thickness, far from what may appear to be the best candidate for imaging. However, this pattern remains intact as it moves in space without spreading and the form of the beam actually results in dramatic improvements in imaging.”


V IEWPOINT

Editor: Tamar Ziff Sub-editors: Thomas Quarton

viewpoint@thesaint-online.com

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@saint_viewpoint

Should we donate to big-name charities?

NO

sizeable returns; hence, money must be placed in large, multifaceted companies which provide funding for a variety of products and projects. Comic Relief was lambasted for its investment in, among others, BAE Systems, a large industrial arms manufacturer. Yet how can one avoid contact with large companies if one wants to make significant returns? These charities can invest in small, independent coffee shops or organic bee farms, but that will not produce the revenue needed for substantial aid; in order to obtain the funds to actually help people, charities must invest in big business. Furthermore, investment and organization requires leaders that are experienced and accomplished; high salaries are necessary to appeal to talented people who can maintain and improve a high-powered charity. Recently, William Shawcross, the chairman of the Charity Commission, lambasted large charities for supposed over-payment of executives, claiming that they brought charitable companies

In order to be helpful charities have to be profitable, so that they can fund successful projects into ‘disrepute.’ However, the only way for large charities such as Save the Children to both organize helpful projects and keep themselves afloat is for the most able managers to be scouted and given appropriate compensation. Gifted executives would not opt to run charitable enterprises over forprofit companies; a propensity towards philanthropy must be supplemented by real, financial incentive. Tamar Ziff

Design and logo by Olga Loza

YES

Recently, due to a series of reports on rising salaries for charity executives, multiple big-name charities – such as disaster relief group Save the Children – have come under fire for the mismanagement of funds. This accusation is compounded by the claim that many of these charities also engage in so-called ‘unethical’ investment; Comic Relief, in a striking BBC exposé, was revealed to have invested in companies that manufacture arms, cigarettes, and alcohol. These two factors ostensibly point to the over-bureaucratization of charities and the prioritization of the corporate mission – i.e. stay in the black – above the supposed charitable aim. However, we must put these two pieces of information in perspective: in order to actually be helpful, charities have to be profitable, so that they can fund long-term, successful projects in various parts of the globe. They cannot run on donations alone – the conception that money from individuals or groups is sufficient for the successful execution of developmental projects is manifestly unrealistic. In order to stay solvent, and make more than merely a marginal difference, charities must both be able to hire adept managers and give them the funds with which to achieve significant results. In the United Kingdom, a little over half of the population donates to charity, with an average of £10 a month given to various charitable organizations. Annually, then, British adults donate £9.3 billion to charity; most of this money goes to huge, big-name charities – such as Cancer Research UK, Oxfam, and NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children), which sponsor considerable research or large national projects. These charities work incredibly hard to secure both consistent voluntary and ‘legacy’ donations (in the latter, people a sum of money or portion of their estate in their wills), and yet they only form 1 per cent of the UK’s 160,000 charities – they may be able to subsist on mostly donations, but how can the rest stay in the black? Smart investment is the only strategy. The UK Charity Commission, which oversees Britain’s 160,000 charities, mandates that charity trustees make safe investments that produce

St Andrews students are quite philanthropic in their activities. Every year we have an assortment of fundraisers, taking various forms such as balls, fashion shows and music festivals that serve to furnish a respective charity. Of course, at these events the actual ‘donation’ derives from ticket sales. For the actual event-goer, charitable contribution is a passive experience. For those that choose to make a more active donation, there is a choice. Many people donate monthly or annually to a specific charity. For those that prefer to supplement our ticket based donations with cash or check, the question is: which charity? Lately allegations have arisen, and not without some basis, that have implicated several large charities in the mishandling and mismanagement of donation money. Most notably amongst these has been the Comic Relief scandal. Comic Relief apparently invested some of their funds in companies that manufacture weapons, cigarettes, and alcohol. To say the least, the ethical legitimacy of these financial holdings is questionable. Certainly some people have criticized the group’s investments and, perhaps, rightly so. Investment in weapons manufacturing would appear, at first glance, to contradict Comic Relief’s oath to support ‘people in conflict.’ I am inclined to agree that a charity’s investments must be of a good ethical judgment. At the minimum, they must be in accordance with the charity’s pledges. If you disagree with a charity’s investments, you have every right not to add to their principle. However, I think there is another case to be made for not donating to ‘big money’ charities that does not involve the ethical implications of their investments. Rather, I think there is an argument to be made for choosing to make donations to charities which do not have their own investment fund. These charities, which have no means of independent finance, simply need donations a bit more. This is not to say that big money charities would not put your pound to good use, on the contrary, they can achieve widespread results for their causes that they support. This is to say that your pound

may go further within the organization when it is given to a smaller charity. Consider the following: while there are 163,000 charities registered in the UK, approximately 68,658 of these have an annual turnover of £10,000 or less. While the annual income of the UK charities sector is listed at approximately £61 billion, those same 68,856 charities account for less than half of a percent of that £61 billion. While many of these charities’ annual incomes sit substantially below the £10,000, Comic Relief’s assets alone are worth £135 million. Charities such as Comic Relief can have a massive impact. However, smaller charities that operative more locally can have just as powerful an effect on the people they work for. In order to do this, lacking any funds or investments, they require donation. As my colleague has detailed, charities are required by law to invest in lucrative, stable companies. While there is nothing immoral about these conditions, the manner that they have been interpreted by Comic Relief is problematic. Ignoring that, however, still presents the donor with a choice: to go big or small. And while big charities can have the largest impact in terms of quantity, i.e. the number of mouths fed or people clothed, smaller charities make just as important of a contribution. The people they feed, the children they clothe, will appreciate your donation just as much. Furthermore, high executive fees will not be a problem - small charities are noted for giving modest pay to their executives, who realize they are working for a greater good, and for whom that is enough of a ‘real’ incentive - they do not need a six-figure salary to be motivated to help those in need. Big charities may have a huge impact, but your pound will likely be going into the pockets of some high-tier exec, rather than towards the building of a well, or the provision of food. With great power comes great inflexibility as well; large charities will not be nearly as likely to innovate if their system is too expensive or ineffective, while smaller charities will accept change if that helps both their own growth and the success of their projects.

The views expressed in Viewpoint do not represent the views of The Saint but are individual opinions.

Jake Jose


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The Saint • 24 April 2014

Disappearing act: the mystery of flight MH370 Ellen Ridsdale ponders on the “entertainment value” of such a catastrophic mystery Asian politics and relations. The search now includes the assistance of 26 countries, with operations led mostly by Australia and China. However, whilst Malaysia Airlines has created services by which the relatives and media can be updated, much of the information has been either retracted or clarified, demonstrating a grievous lack of organization and lack of consideration for the families of those on MH370. China has taken the lead in this investigation, using its technological advances and vast resources in an attempt to locate the aircraft. Whilst the

power of China was never in doubt, it reaffirms its role as regional hegemon. The initial post-disappearance despair was typical of this kind of incident, as the amount of time that passes is usually indicator of the chances of survival. Satellite images of potential debris gave hope to relatives in mourning, until the Chinese government themselves declared them as fake. Chaotic searches in the Indian Ocean, switching from site to site, continuously kept up the hopes of the relatives in the hope of more debris being sighted – after all this time, however, noth-

Photo: WikiCommons

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 disappeared more than a month ago on 8 March 2014 en route to Beijing from Kuala Lumpur, without explanation. The press coverage of this event has been globally consistent, but after a month of continuous attention, why is it still in the public eye with so little new information on it? It seems as though this event has the characteristics of a classic mystery; the plane staged a vanishing act with no clues or leads, while initially presenting a possible scandal. The theories involved with the plane’s disappearance seem to change from week to week, garnering new attention with every new idea. The most credible ones were based on the two mysterious passengers who boarded with stolen European passports, leading to speculations of hijacking and/or a suicide mission. Upon further investigation, these theories have been discredited, but the drama involved held the world in suspense for weeks. Whilst some theories – such as the aforementioned one - have had thriller-like elements to them, others have been more sci-fi: some fringe theorists even cited alien abduction as a possibility. There is almost entertainment value in following the theories, an innate human curiosity about mysterious catastrophe. MH370 has not only caught the imaginations of conspiracy theorists but also those interested in politics, as it has revealed the inner workings of

US sailors direct missile destroyer USS Kidd in search for MH370 in the Andaman Sea

ing conclusive has been found. The chances of finding survivors are long dashed, but relatives can look forward to closure with the search for the black box that may reveal the last moments on the aircraft. Many of the relatives have lambasted the Malaysian and Chinese governments for secrecy and lack of transparency on the continuing search. Some news sources have even reported the relatives are using social media and other news outlets to both keep abreast of developments and to update and inform each other- the world cannot help but be transfixed in its empathy for the families. Whilst I hope that the truth about the disappearance comes to light soon, the mystery does continue for MH370. Strangely, this results in an exploration into what makes a news item so addictive: the devastating accident and victims, the mysterious circumstances and the gradual uncovering of clues that reveal hidden truths along the way. At the time of writing, underwater drones scanning for any trace of the flight finished their seventh mission in the Indian Ocean, to no avail - though hope for sizeable debris had long faded, many still aim to find the black box, which would hold the fate of the 239 passengers on board, most of whom were Chinese. The plane has been missing for 44 days. The families of those on board do not believe they will ever see their fam-

ily members again, but they are desperate to hear the contents of the black box, the last words shared by the flight crew before their lives were brought to an untimely end. Many think it was a hijacking. If it were a technical fault, that could have dire implications for Malaysia Airlines and force a total and complete reevalu-

Why is it still in the public eye with so little new information on it? It... has the characteristics of a classic mystery ation of planes used by the airline, if not Boeing 777s in general. In this information age, we are hardpressed to find something that no one knows anything about. Real mysteries, about the natural world or otherwise, seem arcane in the era of increased communication and accessibility. Unfortunately, as we now know, mysteries do not only exist, but they are far harder to solve.

Pokémon Arab: how can I catch ‘em all?

Photo: Flickr/Matt Levya

Kareem Asfari reflects on the widespread, one-dimensional view of the Arab identity, and how it is manifestly incorrect

Ash’s mission is clear. The Arab identity? Not so much. From birth till about age eight, my brother and I shared a room. The cupboard was a chaotic mixture of cluttered storage from my older brothers, but amid the mire of defunct lava lamps and plastic freezer bags filled with smudged and dirty one and two pence coins, I kept a small copper tin with minor dents across the top. I think in another life it may have been

used for cough drops. It now housed my most precious possessions: my Pokémon cards. I didn’t know how to actually play with the Pokémon cards – I’m not sure anyone did – but I was obsessed with collecting them. On the rare days where we got to walk through the St Johns Wood churchyard park on the way home from school, Rayan and I would stop off at the newsagents on the highstreet and buy a pack of cards along with a Kinder Egg, tearing both open as soon as we left the store. I kept the really good ones in my copper tin, and I remember sitting and running my fingers along the iridescent film of a limited edition Blastoise card, admiring how colourful and concrete it was. These days I don’t think about Pokémon much. I turned nine, Pikachu yielded to Aragorn and Frodo, and my family moved out of the tremendously cluttered space that had fostered me and my brothers. Apparently, a lovely Polish family lives there now. Amid the chaos of packing – gathering everything from computer mouses to sports day ribbons – I lost my cards. It didn’t matter to me at that point, really. I can scarcely remember any trace of my obsession, save for one fragmentary image that I see every night. Every

night when I shut my eyes I see one brief clip from the Pokémon TV show. The hero, perpetually ten-year-old Ash Ketchum, running after a truck. He’s on a winding mountain road, and the truck seems like it’s always going around the bend, with lush verdant bush on one side and a sheer drop on the other. Ash needs to catch this truck, because I think his enemies are on it, and I think they might have his Pokémon. I’m not even sure if that’s true anymore, but I know he needs to catch it. Because he is Ash Ketchum, and he is the hero; and if he weren’t chasing it and raising Pokémon, the show wouldn’t exist, and 7:30 on Cartoon Network would belong to a double block of Samurai Jack. Curling up to sleep, the image always brings me a weird peace. That show – the whole franchise really – is childish, but I kept thinking about the nature of the cartoon hero: the certainty of identity, the unwavering sense of self. It sounds insane and overwrought, but I only recently realized the significance. The first pages of the SAT ask a simple question: mark your ethnicity. It’s June 2012, and I’m already struggling before the exam has started. I’m forced to choose between East Asian, Black African, Pacific Islander, Hispanic, White, and ‘other’. From

there I’m stuck in a mental back and forth with myself. “I’m white aren’t I? Are Arabs white? I mean, my skin is white, so should I just tick white?” I tick “White”, and throw myself into the exam. Six hours later I tried to make a joke out of it when talking to my friend, only for him to snap, “What? You’re Arab. Don’t pretend you’re white.” Suddenly Ash Ketchum chasing that bus makes a lot of sense. Ash wants to be the greatest Pokémon trainer there ever was; his task is simple. My fixation with it was a kind of envy, knowing I couldn’t even figure out my ethnicity. This leads me to question: what makes an Arab an Arab? The term ‘Arab’ is actually a misnomer, as it originally denotes people only from the Arabian Peninsula. With the term Arab now applicable to people from Morocco to Oman, and with people wide ranging in appearance – from dusky north African to the fair haired across the Levant, it seems more than ever that ‘Arab’ doesn’t denote any ethnic or genetic background. Being an Arab is more about linguistic and cultural heritage than anything else. Arabs aren’t necessarily white, although there are white Arabs, nor are they necessarily any ethnic group or religious group. Arabs as we know them are incredibly reli-

giously and ethnically diverse, and the Arab moniker seems to be one that is flexible. The luxury here is the ability to determine one’s own identity. The Arab League defines an Arab as “a person whose language is Arabic, who lives in an Arabic-speaking country, and who is in sympathy with the aspirations of the Arabic-speaking peoples.” The startling thing is how malleable all of those factors are. Does one really have to live in the Arab world to be an Arab? What if a native moves? What if they forgot the language? The minor complexities here are irrelevant. What is clear is that the Arab identity is one that needs to be internally decided. I couldn’t stop thinking about Ash Ketchum and his ridiculous – but consistent - life of making strange reptilian creatures fight each other. Ash’s (fictional) life is certain and unchanging, as opposed to the truth of what I had to learn: my identity, the Arab identity, is based on temporal decisions, changing global stereotypes. Irrespective of my ethnic makeup, how Arab I am is something I can choose. I am certainly an Arab, but I’m also white, and an atheist, and a former Pokemon aficionado. I’m part of a culture and linguistic tradition that a diverse array of people is part of – and that’s great.

The views expressed in Viewpoint do not represent the views of The Saint but are individual opinions.


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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Food for thought: the ‘local’ cuisine I like to think of myself as a foodie. Not in the “Oh my God have you heard about the new menu at Alinea? It’s like so innovative?” kind of way. While I do enjoy procrastinating on various food-related websites ranging from watching a ‘Chinese chef kills crab’ video to Rene Redzepi plating a strangely appealing aged carrot at Noma, at the end of the day I just love eating and cooking. It’s the comfort of knowing that if I sautéed mushrooms on high heat, they will stay moist. The certainty that comes from knowing 180 degrees, 10 minutes is the magic combination for crunchy-yet-creamy-onthe-inside peanut butter cookies in our rickety, uneven-heating oven. In a world where most things seem to be in flux, these little morsels of certainty are what I cling to. Combined with my tendency to get bored with places really quickly, which translates into lots of travelling, I fall into the “what’s local” category a lot of the time. Yes, I romanticize whatever seems local— that tingle of self-serving pride when I manage to find a ‘local joint’ that sold thirst quenching mango lassi does, I admit, reify an unrealistic image of Subcontinental cuisine. But I like to think that sometimes, I do manage to transcend the hipster obsession with the palatable ‘genuine’ and venture out into territory where my digestive system punishes me for. Don’t get me wrong, I’m usually not squeamish with food. I’ve never

Photo: WikiCommons

Raymond Wang affirms that, due to globalisation, the ‘ethnic’ culinary characterization is false

McDonald’s in Shanghai is likely more frequented by locals than any ‘traditional’ joint really understood people who cringe at the way restaurants in Hong Kong display their live seafood so the customer can choose which unlucky fish/lobster/phallic looking geoduck is going to end up on their plate. It’s ‘vulgar’, apparently. How can getting to know the thing you’re eating be ‘vulgar’? I’ve had more than one friend recoil at the glorious display of stewed inner organs and intestine lining in streetfood stalls in Hong Kong— while it may seem unappealing, surely it’s a more honest way of dealing with your food. But I digress. My point is, growing up, I’ve had my fair share of ‘weird’ food, such as opening the fridge to

find a bowl of squirming silk worm pupae, which just so happens to be one of my mother’s favourite dishes. I guess this influenced me to have one rule when it comes to trying out food— try everything, and always try it twice before deciding whether you like it or not. I also have another belief—the good stuff is always on the street. If it’s fried in opaque looking oil, doused in questionable sauce and contains mystery meat, it’s usually pretty damn good. These beliefs, naturally, have led to many hours in the toilet in what can only be described as a transcendental experience. But it was worth it.

You see, it’s not only about the food. It’s about the people you meet and the things that happen to you when you’re the weird Asian guy in the room who paid double because he’s too stupid to count the local currency. The nice waiter who offers to let you try different types of biscuits for free; the inebriated Croatians who take you in as one of their own and randomly name you Ivek (which, for the record, bears no relation to my actual name); the chef who gives you

The quest to seek out what locals eat...[shows] just how similar we are a bit extra when you tell him to split one portion in two so you and your friend can each have a bit more. Sometimes, however, the quest to seek out what locals eat on a daily basis can result in disillusionment, showing just how similar we are in our differences. More often than not, when I am fortunate enough to be crashing at a friend’s place, they will take me out

specifically to try out the local specialities, which includes, of course, weird yet umami-packed street food. However, whenever they go out with their friends, with me tagging along, we usually end up in Mc D’s, the local Chinese, or some form of Italian restaurant with a cringeworthy name such as Ristorante Venezia. Local joints just aren’t da thing. Looking back, the same thing applies to us in Hong Kong as well, to a certain extent. When we’re bringing people around, or if it’s a special occasion, we might end up in local joints. But more often than not it’ll be Mc Ds, a Japanese place, Korean BBQ, or some variation of café de Paris. If we’re going by how often local people frequent a particular establishment, the neighbourhood hangover place with its oil-soaked chips will probably beat any ‘traditional’ establishment. Why is this? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just the way we always want to be what we cannot be. My obsession, among other similar things, with learning how to make pasta come una nonna puts me firmly in the guilty camp. Maybe it’s time for all of us to put back the ‘local’ in ‘local joints’. Until then, when I’m travelling next time and feel the urge to ‘eat like a local’, I will feel no compunction about seeking guidance from the warm yellow light emanating from those ubiquitous golden arches— the symbol of a truly global local establishment.

The perils of Facebook Beckie Thomas affirms that though Facebook is essential in the organization of our lives, it’s also dangerous to our psyche When Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook from within the walls of his Harvard dorm I highly doubt he could ever have fully been aware of the beast he was unleashing on the world. The Oppenheimer of our age, Zuckerberg’s creation has had perilous effects on our day-to-day lives. Unlike Myspace and Bebo, Facebook is a fad that refuses to fade. This week, a man who had won an $80,000 lawsuit against his former employer was not paid due to an illadvised post by his daughter. After having won this hefty settlement from the Gulliver Preparatory School for supposed ‘ageism’, his daughter Dana Snay posted, “Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT” thus violating a secrecy clause and essentially voiding her father’s deal. Whilst I’ve never seen anyone jeopardise vast sums of money personally, or see them start a court case on Facebook, the dangers of the online world become increasingly apparent each day spent in procrastination as exams draw ever closer. Actual procrastination seems to be big business on Facebook. The sheer volume of incredibly addictive games attached to the site proves this above all. Mostly the province of bored

students, competitive geeky twelve year olds and middle-aged mums who probably should know better, these games have proved incredibly lucrative for savvy entrepreneurs. Facebook games aside, the sheer amount of time that can be consumed ‘stalking’ people can reach well into hours, if not days. More recently, Facebook has been the platform for activist arts students to post edgy, informative articles about all the world’s major crises – a slightly more self-deluding form of procrastination, but procrastination all the same. I shudder to think how many grades have been missed, social engagements ignored and minds driven slowly insane by the pressure of maintaining a virtual farm under the watchful eye of friends, family, and people you met on holiday that one time. What did people do before Facebook? Probably get a hell of a lot more done. On a more serious note, Facebook seems to both increase and decrease our sense of self worth. I have too many Facebook friends who, having posed self-consciously in front of an amateur with a posh camera, consider themselves real models. They continually post pictures

of themselves to the point of obsession. This kind of narcissism really can’t be healthy. Self-aggrandizement can function in a more subtle way. People seem to consistently edit their Facebook profiles to create the impression of an idyllic life. Ugly photos are deleted immediately and replaced with those from a luxury holiday in the Bahamas. Often we decide to live vicariously,

The Oppenheimer of our age, Zuckerberg’s creation has had perilous effects on our day-to-day lives and boastfully celebrate the achievements of our friends or relatives, reminding our fellow humans that our life is just that little bit more perfect than their own. This kind of living completely via Facebook does have

serious consequences. We do not engage with reality, but rather a virtual platform that distorts it; everything looks better in photographs, people look beautiful on their profiles, we edit our lives to what we would like to see, thereby invalidating the uneditable reality. We only appreciate experiences when we can ‘check-in’ at an event, and friendships are only useful insofar that they provide us with uproariously funny pictures, flattering comments and sarcastic poke wars. This pool of self-obsession is often deceptive. Whilst we outwardly appear to be living socially confident lives, Facebook allows profilers to mask their loneliness, a trend many recent comment articles have highlighted. I believe that Facebook provides us with a bit of a predicament. It presents some serious, and some not so serious, harms to our mental and emotional health, but at the same time has become such an integral part of our daily lives that a world without Facebook seems inconceivable. This university runs on Facebook; societies, residential halls and academic schools all rely on social media for contacting otherwise distant students – if I didn’t have Facebook

I truly wouldn’t know what on earth was going on. It seems to me that if ignored Facebook could prove the end of your social life, and if engaged with fruitfully the same outcome can be easily achieved.

Online this week The collected works of Lance Calzone James Leech delves into the works of St Andrews’ most iconoclastic wordsmith. Five Fresher Do’s As a sequel to her ‘Five Fresher Don’t’s’ at the beginning of the year, Beckie Thomas looks back at her first year and provides a list of the essentials. On Chelsea, Campaigning, and Criticism Charlotte Gorman reflects on the announcement of Chelsea Clinton’s presidency and the media hubbub surrounding her mother’s presidential campaign.

The views expressed in Viewpoint do not represent the views of The Saint but are individual opinions.


Sex(minster) and the city Jamie Macwhirter explores the lack of accountability in British politics Another fortnight, another round of scandal and intrigue in the Westminster political bubble. If you haven’t been following – and frankly, who can blame you - allow me to offer a quick recap. The biggest story of last week was Conservative culture secretary Maria Miller’s resignation from the cabinet in light of allegations of expenses-fiddling amounting to £90,000. Despite an independent investigation determining that she owed the taxpayer £45,000, the decision was overruled by a panel of MPs, who argued that £5,000 and a 30-second ‘apology’ in the House of Commons would suffice instead. It was only sustained public anger that forced her to leave.

These one-off investigations are not enough, merely papering over the cracks when they inevitably appear It also emerged that Nigel Farage, never one to be outdone by a Tory, had racked up an expenses bill of over £2m during his time as an MEP. Not only that, but this self-proclaimed champion of the people against the greed of career politicians had actually boasted about it himself during a debate in 2009. Meanwhile, Tony Blair’s eldest son, Euan, looks set to be parachuted into one of the safest Labour seats in the country in 2015, off the back of little more than his father’s party connections. What’s more, a Channel 4 documentary uncovered allegations of endemic, alcohol-fuelled sexual assault amongst parliamentarians in what was predictably labelled the ‘Palace of Sexminster’. It would almost be laughable if the claims weren’t so serious – one in three people working in Westminster surveyed reported having been sexually assaulted by party superiors. So there we have it: embezzlement, nepotism and (alleged) sex crimes at the highest levels of British politics. All in a week’s work for our political class. It is easy – on weeks like this far too easy – to be overly cynical about the state of British politics. New scandals are un-

Viewpoint 11

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The Saint • 24 April 2014

earthed on such a regular basis that it can be difficult to keep track of them all, let alone find the time to be outraged by them. Time and again, household names are found guilty of actions that in any other job would end in up court; time and again, through enquiries and committees and ‘internal investigations’, MPs take regulation into their own hands and seem to come off rather well. Stories such as these contribute to a toxic cycle that has already severely damaged the relationship between voters and politicians. The public look to Westminster and see greedy, out of touch folk who are not there to serve them so much as to maximise their earnings and perks whist in office. In turn they disengage from the process, limiting the accountability of elected representatives and therefore creating the possibility for more scandal. Whilst expenses fiddlers and sex criminals make up a minority of parliamentarians (the majority of backbenchers do an excellent job), their actions have conditioned us to expect such conduct from our political class to the extent that we can barely be moved to do anything about it; we have effectively been desensitised to scandal. So what if our political class continue to behave in such a manner, and what can be done about it? A key culprit is the mechanism by which MPs are held accountable to the public. The first past the post electoral system effectively limits choice over government to a Labour/Conservative binary, and in most constituencies all but guarantees victory for one major party before campaigning has already begun. Combine this with fixed five-year parliamentary terms and the current absence of any mechanism for constituencies to recall their MPs over

Westminster politicians so frequently come across as insular, greedy, and out of touch because they aren’t required ... to be anything more matters of conduct, and the distance between those who sit in the House of Commons and those who vote for them is clear. Westminster politicians so frequently come across as insular, greedy, and out of touch because they aren’t required by the electoral or regulatory systems to be anything more. If we want to attract a higher moral calibre of politician to Westminster, we simply have to make those systems more effective at holding MPs to account for their actions in office. That means no more self-regulation, a willingness among party leaders to involve the police rather than attempting to sweep issues under the rug with internal enquiries, and selecting an electoral system which gives voters a reasonable choice of alternatives to members who have behaved poorly. It may all seem like a lot to ask, but vocal public opinion is all that has forced ministers like Miller and others before her out to take responsibility for their actions when their parties and allies would much rather have forgotten about it. If austained and vocal enough, concerted public opinion and a request for transparency may be able to force the political class to address these fundamental issues. Transparency is, unfortunately, not as yet completely built into the British policial system, and as such said system is liable to be abused or mismanaged. But what these scandals prove - apart from how strangely endemic sexual assault is among parliamentarians - is that people are paying attention, and that those who do wrong are held accountable for their transgressions. But these oneoff investigations are not enough, merely papering over the cracks when they do inevitably appear.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

A room with a view When I was about 12 years old, I remember being confused by the consideration of writing as art. I had seen modern dance, heard classical music, seen paintings and statues at the Musee D’Orsay in Paris – these, to me, were art. Masterful, contrived, and purposely evocative, these pieces were easily accessible, a direct conduit between object and emotion. You did not need to know that Van Gogh painted Starry Night to be dazzled by the yellow star-suns and the swirling, enveloping sky. You did not need to know the title of Mozart’s Requiem to be taken adrift upon the crest and crescendo of the violins; the haunting, slow undercurrent of the brass band. Dance, arguably the most engaging art form, the most primordial and human, needs no explanation – you watch and are carried along, heart beating a little faster, in tandem with that of the breathless but weightless figures on stage. Writing seemed different. It was awkward, complex – it needed to explain itself, to over-compensate. It was esoteric and exclusive – you needed to understand, attempt to breach, with your mind, the fortress of syllables, find the black box of meaning. It’s difficult to read – in all senses of the word. I was unimpressed – art, to me, was something you did not have to struggle to comprehend; it could make you struggle in other ways, make you anxious or uncomfortable with what you see, what it brings to the forefront of your mind. Some people may stand in front of a painting, or an exhibition, and – particularly with modern art – say “I don’t get it.” This implies a certain innate factor, which one either has or doesn’t – faced with a Jackson Pollock, or a Paul Klee, some scoff while others marvel. You can’t ‘not get’ writing – it’s literally explained, right there, on the page. If you can read, if your lexicon is big enough, you get it. How can this be art? How can something that takes so much effort to access, a compact, layered expression placed at the end of a labyrinth thought, be art? As I read more, and grew older, I realized that my conception of art – as instinctive and thoughtless – was terribly wrong; disrespectful, even. The artist placed himself in his work, and I refused to get to know him, setting the standard of art at the equivalent of a perfunctory exchange about the weather. You cannot come up to art, say “How do you do?”, and walk away if the answer does not move you. It dawned on me that art is about questioning and continuously trying – you need to converse with it, get the feel of it between the folds of your mind, the electric tips of neurons. Art itself often defies explanation, and writing is not exclusive to it – writing is meant to, in the first place, communicate; be it a feeling of

loss or the fact that passengers should ‘mind the gap’ on the London underground. When does communication – a tool – transcend its practical nature and evolve into art? I couldn’t tell you, exactly. A few days ago, renowned author and Nobel Prize laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez passed away. He had been reportedly suffering from Alzheimer’s for a long time, his glowing mind slowly losing wattage until, dim and flickering, it succumbed to the curious darkness of death. I was thus prompted to return to my old copy of Love in the Time of Cholera, a semi-autobiographical depiction of how one can be tenacious both in love and in suffering. I have read three of Marquez’s books - enough to have achieved an admiration of his work, enough to duly mourn the death of the origin of such magical work. This is not a throwaway adjective: Marquez was renowned for his flowery, labyrinthine style of writing, which effortlessly joined the fabulous with the finite, the wonderful life of the mind with the wrenching actuality of our slow, mundane existence. Magical realism, it is called - a seeming oxymoron, but one which Marquez managed to apply to perfection. This is surprising, if one considers that prior to his career in fiction Marquez was an established journalist - one would imagine that journalistic writing (more in time with the likes of Hemingway) stands at the opposite end of the spectrum to Marquez’s comma-ridden, achingly beautiful sentences. Yet the attention to detail, the nuance, the ability to continue the thread of a story with countless characters, each of which takes a divergent path transcends any fantastic turn of phrase and makes his books cohesive and inspiring. Marquez wrote, in the Art of Fiction, that writing is naught but ‘carpentry.’ His writing was not – it was sculpture, which stands on the other side of the fine line between building something for use and building something for admiration (though the two are not mutually exclusive). He is an artist of the highest degree - see, here, how he extracts, from the stiff marble block of character, a figure, frozen in an act of supposed banality: ‘There was no sleeper more elegant than she, with her curved body posed for a dance and her hand across her forehead, but there was also no one more ferocious when anyone disturbed the sensuality of her thinking she was still asleep when she no longer was.’ Sleep – so humdrum, so still, so incredibly non-evocative, became active, enlivened. Marble became human became dancer, typed letters became images, attachments. And that’s art, really – the transformation of something still into something that moves.

Tamar Ziff

The views expressed in Viewpoint do not represent the views of The Saint but are individual opinions.


12 Viewpoint

thesaint-online.com

24 April 2014 • The Saint

Letters to the editor Responses to to ‘A substantial fanatical minority wants independence, but...the unionists are the true patriots in this campaign’ by Professor Kidd (Issue 182, 10 April 2014) Sir, I applaud Colin Kidd for spelling out so clearly and forcefully some of the consequences Scotland’s separation from the UK would have. I believe that for St Andrews and other leading Scottish universities the impact of such a move would be very damaging indeed. Fees The Scottish government has failed to give a plausible answer to the question of what would happen after independence with regard to the tuition fees of about £9,000 p.a. currently charged to non-Scottish UK students. Under EU law, Scottish universities would, after a separation, almost certainly lose the crucial fee income from these students. This would leave Scottish universities with a dramatic funding shortfall. Even in the extremely unlikely event of the EU agreeing to the proposal in the Scottish White Paper and granting Scotland a licence to discriminate against UK students by charging them tuition fees (while continuing to offer free tuition to students from every other EU country), the situation would still remain grave for Scotland’s universities. Surely, all but the very richest students from England, Wales

Sir, Eleanor Roosevelt stated that ‘Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people’. Throughout this myopic article, Professor Colin Kidd, respected expert in his field, vocal public supporter of the No-campaign and purveyor of his own grandiose important relationships with both current and ex Labour party (prime) ministers, reduces the independence campaign to an argument more fitting of a cheap tabloid newspaper. Peppered with unsubstantiated claims and increasingly wild assertions, and shamelessly onesided in its analysis, I, for one, am bitterly disappointed, and affronted. Academic colleagues and students, regardless of political allegiance, must have found Mr Kidd’s contribution to the debate dismaying, lacking in the research, evidence, insight, thoroughness and balance demanded of an esteemed professor writing for a student publication. The piece misses not only the very qualities that secure professional accolades and academic respect, but also the very process and thinking that is instilled in us as his students, the proper and accepted presentation for credible argument. Mr Kidd’s portrayal of a ‘fanatical minority’ in favour of independence

and Northern Ireland would shy away from having to pay Scottish fees upfront – rather than UK fees through the system of deferred government loans in place in the UK. This would leave Scottish universities not only deprived of fee income, but also separated from a large pool of strong applicants (especially those from less well-off backgrounds). Scottish universities would end up more parochial, less sought-after and under-funded. Admissions In the – much more likely – case of iScotland’s being barred from levying fees on cUK students, Scottish universities would face a flood of cUK applicants seeking free university education. This would lead either to Scottish students being pushed out of their own underfunded universities (if the number of places were to remain fixed) or, if the Scottish government decided to increase student numbers, would cause an over-crowding situation like the one experienced in Austria – another small EU country with a much larger neighbour speaking the same language – which has so far found no effective way of controlling the influx of German students into its own free universities.

pitted against a steadfast unionist majority is misleading and inaccurate. It willfully ignores clear and consistent polling evidence to date. According to the results of a poll published by Panelbase on the day that Mr Kidd’s article appeared, 40 per cent intend to vote ‘yes’ in September’s referendum, 45 per cent ‘no’ (a minority), with the remaining 15 per cent ‘undecided’. When undecideds are excluded, the figures are 47 per cent ‘yes’ and 53 per cent ‘no’, meaning that a swing of just over three per cent is required for a yes majority. This poll is only the latest example of a general trend of support shifting towards ‘yes’. Even more dishonest than his portrayal of the level of support for independence, however, is Mr Kidd’s portrayal of the campaign for independence and its supporters. Mr Kidd’s repeated assertions that unionists are the ‘true patriots in this campaign’ and that ‘nationalists do not have a monopoly on patriotism’ implied that the campaign is a battle over identity. As anyone who has any knowledge of the campaign for Scottish independence is aware, such dialogue is conspicuously absent from the yes-campaign, where debate and aspirations revolve around achieving greater social justice and equality,

Research Funding The UK government has already announced that a separation from the UK would exclude Scotland from the existing, fully-integrated system of taxpayer-funded Research Councils UK grants. Without access to the large and competitive market of UK research funding, top-performing Scottish universities will lose out on significant income streams as well as on the reputational gains and sharp edge that result from having to compete successfully against the strongest researchers and institutions from across the whole UK – and not just against competition from within Scotland. More than holding their own against the likes of Oxford, Cambridge and Imperial College, Scottish universities have, over the past years, won almost 50 per cent more UK research income than the proportion of Scotland’s population share: a fair reflection of the strength and competitiveness of Scottish universities which have emerged within a devolved Scotland. Giving up on this success story would be a terrible self-inflicted wound. Moreover, during what looks like the lengthy period of limbo and negotiation which will precede the resolution of the question of iScotland’s EU membership, EU research and democratic representation and accountability. The urgency of the case for independence was clearly illustrated in the same edition of The Saint. The food bank Storehouse in St Andrews has seen the number of parcels it provides increase by a third since August of last year. In 2010, the Trussell Trust - one of the main providers of food banks - gave emergency food parcels to just over 4,000 people throughout Scotland. By last year, that number had increased to more than 56,000. Food banks for the working poor in 2014, which are struggling to provide help to all those in need, is just one example of the consequences of the hostile welfare cuts being imposed by Westminster. 90 per cent of cuts are still to come. Regardless of which party is elected in 2015, Labour and Tories alike are thirled to a destructive neo-liberal agenda and committed to a merciless programme of greater austerity which punishes the poor and most vulnerable in society. For supporters of independence, a yes-vote is about rejecting the indefensible and reprehensible status quo and opting for a different future. It is a rejection of the hostile and increasingly right-wing policies of Westminster governments. It is about creating a more equal

funding may well not be available either. Competing at the highest level Once Scottish universities are formally separated from the UK university system – a system which performs very impressively at the international level – they will quickly find themselves in a position where they will no longer be able to attract top funders, top researchers and top students, and will lose them to their competitors in the UK. Even in the globalised realm of academia, national borders still have powerful dividing effects and in an independent country Scottish universities would operate in a separated, smaller, less competitive context. We’d be playing in the SPL, rather than in the Premier League – with all the consequences that relegation entails. Pensions When planning for the impact of Scottish independence on pensions, the Scottish Government took a punt on rumours that the EU would relax its rules on funding levels of pension schemes operating in more than one country. Rather unhelpfully, the EU Commission recently decided, howand just society, reversing the trend of an ever increasing gap between the richest and the poorest. It is demanding an alternative to rule by a rich and privileged elite. It is about ensuring that Scotland is never again subject to the damaging policies of governments it did not vote for. It is about planning our own positive and constructive role on the European and international stages, free from xenophobia and military aggression. The real independence debate can be summed up by asking the following: ‘What sort of society do we want in Scotland, and who is more likely to deliver it, Westminster or an independent Holyrood?’. There are 37 national or daily newspapers in Scotland. Just five of them are owned in Scotland. None of the 37 support independence. Contrary to the politically expedient ‘one man and his dream’, Alex Salmond, again, summed up at the weekend: “This referendum is not about this party, or this first minister, or even the wider Yes campaign. It’s a vote for a government in Scotland that the people of Scotland choose, pursuing policies the people of Scotland support”. Scotland is buzzing with the true yes campaign, a growing collection of diverse and enthusiastic individu-

Please send any letters to the editor to editor@thesaint-online.com

ever, to maintain these strict funding rules. This means that, in the case of a Yes vote, the main pension scheme for academics in pre-1992 institutions (USS) would be faced with an immediate requirement to make good a £10 billion funding shortfall, casting doubt on its ability to continue operating in more than one country. It has already been suggested to me by a kindly Yes-supporter, that, in iScotland, my USS pension may have to be transferred to a different Scottish scheme with – I would assume – rather different conditions. Uncertainties like this will make it much harder for Scottish universities to retain and recruit staff. The failure of the proponents of Scotland’s separation from the UK to provide reliable and detailed solutions to the serious university-related problems I have listed above – problems that are the direct result of a policy planned and advocated by the Scottish government – only serve to deepen the grave concerns I have about the wider consequences of the country’s possible decision to break away from the rest of the United Kingdom. Sincerely, Frank Lorenz Müller, School of History, University of St Andrews als, groups, organisations and thinktanks, who are united in their excitement, hope and positive anticipation of a better future for Scotland. The non-party political, grass roots Yes Scotland campaign encompasses a huge range of diverse groups, such as Business for Scotland, , Generation Yes, Third Sector Yes, and Youth and Students for Yes. There is the Women for Independence group, the Labour for Independence group, the England for Yes group, and the National Collective for Artists and Creatives. There is a wealth of rich and insightful online blogging and journalism from the likes of Bella Caledonia, Wings over Scotland, and Newsnet Scotland. Those committed to academia and education need to demonstrate a more fundamental conviction for the edification of the people: democracy. In the spirit of that democracy, let’s have debate, let’s have honesty, let’s have truth. Lastly, it is very unbecoming to the author to resort to misogyny. Consummate politician and accomplished stateswoman, Deputy First Minster Nicola Sturgeon is not a token anything. Sincerely, Ashley Husband Powton


MONEY

Editor: Alice Ralston Sub-editor: Joshua Pooley @saint_money

money@thesaint-online.com

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A week in fast food

Correct me if I’m wrong...

Joshua Pooley explores the best fast food deals in St Andrews

This being my last column for Money (before I emigrate to the Viewpoint section as its new editor), I wanted to leave on a good note, full of noteworthy advice and flowery, allegorical comments. What seems to have resulted, however, is the normal, nonsensical drivel about my struggle to find anything financially pleasing in this town. Now, I think of myself as quite a patriot of the University of St Andrews – a loyalist for this institution and what it stands for. Buying a University-branded item of clothing, therefore, has been on my mind ever since I entered this seat of learning in 2012. What has deterred me from doing so is the simply astronomical pricing for even the simplest of goods; apparel pricing mirroring that of a medium to high-end brand. I must make a distinction between the outrageously costly “University of St Andrews” shop on Market Street - whose premium prices will see you pay £50 for just a polo shirt and “Your Shop” in the Union. As it caters for the tourist’s purse though, I am going to disregard the Market Street premises from this article. I went in earlier last week to scout out “My Shop” and give it a full critique. The place has a nice air to it, with natural light flooding in and illuminating the exorbitant articles available for purchase. I have been eyeing up that alltoo-common hooded, fleece-lined jumper for a while. So when I noticed that they had restocked said item, I dashed over to inspect the cost. With a naïve sense of hope, yearning for a reasonable ticket price, I flipped over the label. To put it simply, what I observed was far more into Jack Wills territory than seemingly affordable, University clothing (not that I have anything against Jack Wills - it does not pretend to be something it is not. It is a premium product pure and simple). The jumper was priced at £54! Excessive as far as the Union is concerned. To back up my claim of the Union’s premium pricing, I investigated the price of regular hooded jumpers at other universities. In the University of Glasgow, one can purchase a hooded jumper for £27. Seated just beneath us (in more ways than one) the University of Edinburgh’s jumper comes in at £35. Even in the University of Oxford, the closest substitute is priced at £40. Is there a reason for the price disparity between other institutions and our own? I noticed the words “fair-trade” adorned the labels attached to the St Andrews’ merchan-

dise – was a higher average costprice for fair-trade goods being passed onto the consumer, in this case us the students? Still, it is all very good moaning about the situation, but what do I recommend as the solution? I propose a student-led clothing enterprise. I believe, quite rightly, that nobody knows the students better than the students themselves. Clothing is such an important part of extending the University’s brand: with such a cosmopolitan reach (over 45 per cent of us come from outside of the United Kingdom) clothing plays a critical role in projecting St Andrews around the world when students go home for the holidays and where a t-shirt or pair of tracksuit trousers with our logo embroidered onto it. We do not realise how powerful this university’s brand actually is – some students at other institutions would not be caught dead wearing an article that featured their own university’s name! Pitching this as a conclusion to my past columns this semester, I want to pull together the ideas I hit on in past issues relating to how I would approach the establishment of a student run, University-branded clothing company. This applies to every business, in fact, and is the key to success. Firstly, pricing is everything. This does not mean that something cheap will be more successful that something expensive. It means that products must be priced in relation to what the product actually is and to whom it is being sold. When I addressed the pricing of drinks in the West Port bar, I emphasised that its pricing point was not in line with what a student would expect. This goes for clothing, too. I want to be able to buy comparatively inexpensively, while maintaining style. This means I am more inclined to wear such clothing and further the University brand, as mentioned. Secondly, businesses need to know and be clear as to whom they are serving. I brought up this point when I wrote about the Dakota Grill when they did not show clearly which consumer group they catered for. Subsequently, this article highlights that the Union’s clothing price does not seem to take into account that it is students buying their clothes, not the general public. Following these simple guides, there is no reason why this opportunity cannot be monetised. I hope someone steps up to the plate and facilitates such an enterprise. And for the record, I, quite hypocritically, caved and bought the jumper in the end...

Photo: Wikipedia

Gabriel Ross

Burgers are one of the many fast food options available cheaply in town, alongside curry, noodles and fish and chips Joshua Pooley Money sub-editor With exams on the horizon and notes sprawled across every flat surface in sight, the panic has begun to set in and the demand for food is approaching peak levels. Although you’ve just finished lunch and have re-opened your textbook, you already have a craving for something else. Whether it is time for dinner, a quick bite or a midnight snack, food is a necessity and time is of the essence. Despite being a small town, St Andrews offers an abundance of fast food options representing a wide range of cuisines. In fact, you could try something new each day of the week. While probably a doctor’s nightmare, it makes a pretty delicious selection. On a Sunday, I would recommend heading over to Dakota Grill to take advantage of their Albany Parker evening deal. In return for using the ‘password’ they post on their Facebook page, you will receive your choice of a burger, fries and a soft drink all for only £5.00. Using locally sourced meat and wonderfully tasty fries, it is a great place to start off your week without even feeling unhealthy. It’s a shame that the offer is only available on Sundays. A Mexican Monday at Mexigo is next on the list. Their daily student deal comes in at £4.50, but is only valid between midday and four in the afternoon. But I think it’s a worthwhile stop for lunch. The deal consists of a tortilla basket, a choice of beef or veg-

etable chili, beans, salsa, cheese and sour cream. The combination of the price and the quantity most certainly justifies the short walk out of the town centre. Personally, I was not a fan of Domino’s appearance on Market Street, but I think the Two for Tuesday deal has earned itself a mention. By splitting the cost with a friend who has the ‘free’ pizza, the price will come in around £6.00 each, which is well worth the money considering that they offer free delivery. However, Domino’s needs such promotions if it is to provide any sort of value for money. It is easily the most expensive take away in town.

St Andrews offers fast food for every day of the week Britain’s favourite food is next on the list – Indian. St Andrews provides a particularly good choice for this type of cuisine. Jahangir, Balaka and Maisha all advertise similar student deals for £6.95. The latter is a personal favourite: Maisha matches quality with serious quantity. I have heard the proverb “I could eat a horse” redubbed “I could eat a Maisha” more than once

around town. With a curry choice, rice, poppadom, naan bread and a starter included, it is definitely the remedy for a raging appetite. Just across the street Dr Noodles provides a more oriental menu, though unlike Maisha, its portions are not exactly the epitome of value. Ignoring the pointless small-size tub, a regular portion of noodles with meat and vegetables will set you back £6.50. This is quite hard to stomach when you see that the Glass House and the Grill House both offer two-course meals for less - but then the noodles are fast, and popular. Cromars fits the bill when looking to follow the British tradition of having fish and chips on a Friday. While it is no place for a bargain, at £6.95 for a fish supper, it has earned rave reviews for its good service and fresh, cooked-to-order fish. The cuisine to conclude the week is Chinese. Although the obvious option would be the Oriental House in the centre of town, I recommend ordering from the Golden Pagoda in Leuchars. For similar prices, the food is better quality and worth the wait for delivery. It also makes a relatively inexpensive treat if you eat with friends. So overall, St Andrews provides a wealth of fast food to help you power through exams. From Indian to Mexican, it has you covered at relatively little expense and there is something for every day of the week for the fast food junkie.The hardest part is not letting the decision distract you from your studies.


14 Money

thesaint-online.com

24 April 2014 • The Saint

The best interview tips and tricks Alice Ralston Money editor

make you seem well-prepared and knowledgeable can’t be a bad thing.

It’s coming up to internship application season and you may have already started looking or even managed to bag your dream role. For the rest of us, however, this time is fraught with stress when we try to balance applications with essay deadlines and some semblance of a social life. With this in mind, here are some interview tips to stop you feeling quite so nervous.

Don’t be late. Or too early

Try to do a mock interview This is not always possible, but if you have the opportunity, you should take it. I speak as someone who is terrified of interviews and does as much as possible to avoid them, but practice really does make perfect in this case. It means you can work out which questions you’ll find the hardest to answer, as well as getting used to the interview scenario.

Everyone knows you shouldn’t be late; nothing says ‘unreliable’ more than bursting, sweaty and out of breath, 10 minutes late into your interview. Make sure you plan your route carefully, and leave time for unforeseen transport delays. Try to be there 10 minutes early, but no more. Being early just leaves more time to panic and stress, and sitting sizing up the other candidates is not a calming way to spend 20 minutes. You might think you want to sit in a coffee shop for half an hour, but in my experience this just makes it more nerve-wracking. Be friendly and polite You would think this would go without

saying, yet I am always astounded by people who don’t seem to understand the importance of a smile and a friendly comment. When you meet your interviewer, make sure you give them a firm handshake and make eye contact. It sounds silly, but when you’re actually in the interview, make sure you sit up straight, and don’t slouch. You’ll come across as far more professional. Don’t waffle When asked a difficult question, it’s very easy to answer the one you have an answer prepared for, meaning that you are likely to ramble and go off topic. Try not to do this: it looks weak, and it’s obvious to the interviewer that you don’t have a good answer to the question. Instead, take a few seconds (not more than 10) to think about an answer. Even if it’s not very good, it’s still better than replying with something entirely irrelevant. Know why you want the job

Do your research Make sure you know about the company; at least see what you can find on their website and check whether they’ve been in the news recently. It’s also important to know about the specific role you are applying for - what you think you’ll be doing, for example, as it’s a common question. Anything that will

Make sure you give a firm handshake and make eye contact

I have been to a couple of interviews for internships I was not hugely passionate about, and it shows. You need to find a really convincing reason for wanting this particular job, at this particular organisation. It doesn’t matter that it it’s a bit clichéd, as long as it’s genuine. Genuine passion for something can also be conveyed by your knowledge of the

career you want to enter, so read up. Have a bank of examples to use You’ll be familiar with competency questions from application forms. Most of these don’t vary hugely from interview to interview - for example time management, initiative and teamwork - and so it’s worth having some go-to ones ready in case you panic and start to make things up. Have a question for them In all the interviews I’ve ever had, they have asked me at the end if I have any questions. Don’t be the person who just says “Ooh, I’m not sure”. This will make you look unprepared and uninterested in the job. Spend 15 minutes the day before thinking about a pertinent question; perhaps something that has been in the news recently that may affect the company or organisation. But do make sure that you don’t ask something that’s very easily available on the website. Present yourself positively Don’t lie. Please don’t lie. It will almost certainly come back to haunt you at one point or another, and it’s very difficult to keep track of what you’ve said and haven’t. Instead, it’s important to present the

most positive version of yourself, and don’t do yourself down. In the UK we have a culture of modesty and humility that, while polite, isn’t necessarily the best way to show you’re the best candidate for the role. Be enthusiastic about what you’ve done, and it will show to the interviewer. Be genuine It is clear to an interviewer when you’re being fake or insincere. It is likely that they’ve done many interviews before and can spot genuine interest and passion easily. Don’t pretend to love something you know nothing about, just be honest and say you’re willing to learn. Clear interest in something will come across, so rely on that and you’ll be fine. Send a follow up email On the same day as your interview, make sure you send a polite email thanking them for the opportunity for interview. This probably won’t make a difference if you haven’t performed well in the interview, but could just tip you over the edge if you are neck and neck with another candidate. It also means that if they are interviewing a lot of people, you are more likely to stick in their minds. And it’s generally a polite thing to do.

Thomas Quarton Viewpoint sub-editor Go to university, secure an internship, get a degree and land a job. That is the trajectory that has been drilled into our heads. Undoubtedly, the benefits of pursuing a degree are supported by reams of evidence in terms of higher employment and earning potential. Supplementing a degree program with a healthy number of extracurricular activities while staying active in the summer seems fulfill the expectations that come with tenure as students at university. But for a number of reasons, that course seems to be old-hat, unfulfilling or insufficient for a growing number of students. At the same time, a growing culture and support structure is emerging to encourage students’ entrepreneurial endeavors. Perhaps the tools to create products and services are becoming more accessible to the point that a young person with the skills, expertise and ideas can simply do it. Whatever the reason, the growing consensus is that student startups exist and should be encouraged. To celebrate young entrepreneurs, organisations such as the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards and the Students for the Advancement of Global Entrepreneurship recognise and encourage students – be they in high school, university, or graduate school – who create their own start-ups. Relationship building and networking services are available, offering the chance to meet like-minded people, hear speakers who have ‘been there, done that’ and connect with other ambitious young people. Indeed, new trends and methods

in capital financing schemes – the main stumbling block in getting a new business off the ground – have provided new opportunities for the university entrepreneur. Startup Loans, the Prince’s Trust, and Student Upstarts are all such schemes. Beyond the advice, support and financing structures out there, students have a vast number of advantages in pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors. First, there is lower risk: a studentrun business of modest proportions

University entrepreneurs simply have less to lose means that a university entrepreneur simply has less to lose: no dependents, no nine-to-five job that one has to sacrifice to spend time with their own company, and it is always going to be valuable learning experience no matter what the outcome. Furthermore, students have a built-in network of fellow students and professors to recruit, communicate and work with. Perhaps most saliently, university students innately have their finger on the pulse of a large consumer demographic – that is, people like themselves. That, combined with the free time available to us, means this may be the best time to turn an idea into a commercial reality. I sat down to talk to two such

groups of students at St Andrews who did exactly that, and discussed with them their idea, their product, their experiences launching a new service, and their advice for any budding entrepreneurs. YoQo consists of co-founders Sebastian Ohrn, Joe Palau and Matthew Keliris-Thomas, who sell and market quark, or “really awesome white stuff”, to UK consumers. Quark is described by Mr Ohrn as “a pretty Swedish / German thing that... is not as popular [here] as it is over there. “Basically, in Sweden it’s used as a yogurt substitute, but as a healthy alternative: it has zero fat, no sugar and the highest protein content amongst dairy products. It is very popular in the fitness industry.” The team aims to “take it to the next level” - Mr Palau contends that “fitness people have it, but it’s not really branded as a fitness product. What we are doing it is taking it, and branding it as a fitness, health, and lifestyle product. It’s quark 2.0.” Angling quark as a lifestyle product came to the duo as “a bored thought outside the library”. When asked about turning that into action, they responded casually: “It was really just get out and do it... To date, we’ve spent just under £1,000 getting a product developed, flying to England to meet our producer, getting samples made, getting our distributor, finding retailers. It’s not actually that difficult.” Mr Palau said: “A lot of people have the idea that entrepreneurs of having a lot of great ideas, but when you think of it, anyone can come up with a business idea. What makes an entrepreneur different from a regular

Photo: Flickr

Entrepreneurial spirit alive in St Andrews

Some students in St Andrews have taken the leap and started their own businesses person is that they get out and do it.” The “just do it” mentality is shared by those in charge of another service, the St Andrews Travel Collective, which is a travel website set up by students Kelly Bertrando, Kajsa Johansson, Chris Andrews and Megan Evans. The main thrust of the StATC is that it utilises existing social media services. as well as its own website, to provide a collaborative platform for St Andrews students an opportunity to review, recommend and share their travel experiences with others – and offer helpful tips for anyone who may be treading a similar path. “I thought it would be kind of a shame, given where we are, to have a travel blog just be about my own experiences,” Ms Bertrando said. “When we come back from break, people have so many different experiences to share from so many places. It would be nice to have tips when going someplace, or to see if you can connect with someone who lives there, or if someone else is traveling

there at the same time.” By keeping the collective insular, the site aims to remain unspoiled by rigged reviews and provide a relatable standard of quality. “Sometimes student travel blogs are too student-y if you know what I mean,” Johansson said. “With St Andrews students, though not always, knowing people who went there and had a great time means that you have something in common with them.” The main thrust of my talks with these groups was that the barrier to entry is almost always smaller than you may think, and that the best way to start something is to simply push for it. Mr Ohrn put it simply: “When doing business, people are often afraid that ‘people won’t want to work with us, we are just a couple of students and they are a big corporation.’ But, actually, from my experience, people are more willing to help than you would think. Most people want to do business.”


F EATURES

Editor: Miles Adams Sub-editors: Maximilian Curtis, Ellen MacPherson, Emma Freer, Nandita Nair, Rachel Lawrence , Isabelle Wheeler, and Harvey Owen features@thesaint-online.com

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“Scottish independence is not an end in itself” “We’re not going to wake up and suddenly we live in a utopia... We will have to work for the Scotland we want to see.” The Saint interviews St Andrews student and Yes Scotland campaigner Angus Millar Higher education

Last week, Saint Features editor Miles Adams and international politics subeditor Maximilian Curtis sat down with Yes Scotland campaigner and national organiser for SNP Students Angus Millar. Mr Millar is also a thirdyear international relations student at the University and vice president of the St Andrews Students for Independence society. We covered the major questions students have regarding an independent Scotland and got Mr Millar’s take on why students should support independence. Mr Millar began by discussing the role of devolution. Over the years, the Scottish parliament has been able to make substantial progress on policies regarding education, health, justice and so on. “Where we made those decisions, we were able to make a real difference for the lives of people in Scotland, and the outcomes have been hugely different from the decisions we get at Westminster, where there’s a very different kind of rhetoric,” said Mr Miller. To this end, he points to Scotland’s “partial independence” on education as having allowed the Scottish parliament to guarantee free university education to Scottish residents. Responding to The Saint’s recent interview with Professor Colin Kidd, Mr Millar said that the Wardlaw professor and historian “raised some interesting points, but he seems very set in his own views. A lot of what he said seemed tended to be more a criticism of [Alex Salmond and the SNP], but it’s not particularly about them. It’s not about any one politician or another.” So what does he think the independence vote is about? “It’s quite clear that the Westminster system isn’t fair. It’s not working for people in Scotland, and independence would allow us to create a fair welfare system, to make an economy where work pays, to create more jobs and opportunities, and to create a fairer society where people are rewarded well for the work that they do. “The biggest gain of independence is that we get control of these powers.” The Westminster system “That system [Westminster] isn’t working for Scotland.” Mr Millar argued that the clearest example of this has been the UK government’s austerity programme, which a majority of Scottish people and politicians opposed. “What we’re seeing are these cruel measures being imposed by the

Photo: Angus Millar

Maximilian Curtis International politics sub-editor

Angus Millar: “It’s quite clear that the Westminster system isn’t fair” Westminster government, which is harming hungry, working people in Scotland. So we’re having an agenda imposed on us by the UK government that does not have a democratic mandate in Scotland, and yet we have Tory-led policies harming the poorest and most vulnerable people in our society. “For example, the bedroom tax has been harming so many people. We’re told that if you have a spare bedroom, then you’re not going to get a housing benefit towards it. Given the cost of housing in this country, that’s posing a real threat to the incomes and wellbeing of families everywhere. So we have families now having to go to food banks in many areas of Glasgow, for example. They have to go there, to depend on charity, just to eat. People have to choose between heating their home or putting food on the table for their kids. That’s a choice we shouldn’t have to make.” To further his point, Mr Millar quoted figures released by the Child Poverty Action Group in Scotland, which estimates that another 100,000 Scottish children will be living in poverty by 2020. Much like Nicola Sturgeon, the deputy first minister, he attributed these numbers to UK economic policies and welfare cuts. “With independence, we’re getting the economic tools - the taxation powers, the investment powers - that we need to create more jobs and opportunities, to increase our tax base, and to

create a healthier and more productive economy that works for people here. We can move towards creating the better society that people in Scotland want to see.” EU membership Scotland’s membership of the European Union has been a prevalent concern in the independence debate. Mr Millar refered to recent comments made by Professor Jim Gallagher. Although Professor Gallagher is an advisor for the Better Together campaign, he has said that “it seems pretty likely that Scotland would be an EU member state, probably after an accelerated set of accession negotiations.” Mr Millar believes that these negotiations would prove favourable for Scotland owing to its developed “infrastructure and democratic institutions”. The extended timeframe may also work to the country’s benefit. “If Scotland votes yes on 18 September, then we won’t become an independent country until 24 March 2016. So that’s 18 months where negotiations take place to get things smoothed out.” He called these EU concerns a “bluff from the UK government”. After all: “If EU countries are saying to the UK, ‘You shouldn’t leave the EU,’ then why would they say to Scotland, which wants to stay in the EU, ‘You’re not allowed to stay, so we’ll chuck you out just to let you back in’?”

Although criticism has been levied against the University of St Andrews for not accepting enough Scottish students, a large portion of the University’s tuition revenues come from English students paying £9,000 per year. Universities may have reason to fear that if Scotland becomes independent, the Scottish parliament will subsidise the education of students from the rest of the United Kingdom, just as it does with EU students today. “The Scottish government’s position is that they would seek to justify continuing to charge students from the rest of the UK. They would do so because of the exceptional circumstances,” including the shared landmass, the fact that RUK students vastly outnumber Scottish students, the country’s consistently excellent universities, and its shared language with the rest of Britain. From The Saint’s own research into the matter, it is hard to believe that an independent Scotland, within the EU, would be allowed to charge EU citizens from the UK tuition fees other than what is charged to Scottish students. Therefore, if tuition is free for Scottish students, it would need to be free for all EU students, including those from the UK. Any change in this current setup based on equality in EU higher education would require significant EU legislation and overturn a long-held standard on EU tuition. “At the end of the day, we need to recognise that the Scottish government, from whatever party, has always placed an emphasis on higher education. I think the education sector is much better served by having Scotland making its own decisions. With independence, we can build on those successes,” said Mr Miller. Immigration policy For Mr Millar, immigration is one of the major factors playing into his decision to support independence. He stressed that this issue is paramount for students. “A lot of people here will graduate from university, but when they look for a job they can’t find the high-quality work that they want and that they studied for. For a long time, there’s been a brain drain in Scotland, where talented young people have to go elsewhere to find opportunities and employment, especially graduates. “With independence we’ll have the economic powers that we need to attract more companies to invest here, to grow small businesses, to create better quality opportunities. They’ll be able to find more opportunities in Scotland after they graduate.”

The UK government’s approach to immigration, which in Mr Miller’s opinion “is driven by a UKIP-inspired agenda south of the border,” is far less inspiring for him. “It sees and treats immigrants as something to distance itself from, to be freed of, and that’s including international students who are finding it increasingly difficult to get into the country and to stay on and work here. The Scottish government, and the vast majority of people on the Yes campaign, propose a much less restrictive immigration system which values people who want to come make a contribution and live in Scotland. “If you want to build your career here, if you want to start your family here, if you want to help make Scotland a better place along with all of us, then why would we not want to welcome you?” Devolution Mr Millar believes that independence cannot come soon enough. “The UK government in the 1980s was decimating Scotland’s industries. They were pocketing oil wealth.” Had Scotland been independent then “we would be in a financial position comparable to that of Norway, which is another small, independent country, which has had masses of oil wealth, but they’ve been unfettered by the Westminster system, which squanders our resource wealth.” In his Saint interview, Professor Kidd suggested that Alex Salmond prefers a ‘devolution maximum’ policy to independence. Mr Millar argued that this is beside the point. “Devomax is not on the table. It was quite emphatically blocked by the UK government. “Even if devomax in its entirety was on the table - even if there was a plan and a cast-iron guarantee that all powers would be devolved to Scotland except for foreign affairs and defence - I don’t think that would be adequate. That would still leave vital decisions about whether or not we go to war as a country, whether or not we’re part of the European Union, whether or not we have nuclear weapons [to Westminster]. “Independence is not an end in itself. It’s an opportunity to implement ideas, to make the country better. And it’s not going to happen overnight. We’re not going to wake up on 19 September, we’ve voted yes, and suddenly we live in a utopia. “We will have to work for the better Scotland that we want to see, and I think we can do that gradually, one step at a time. But we can only do that if we have the powers we need here in Scotland.”


16 Features

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Being an editor - it’s not as easy as it looks

Sir Menzies Campbell: I will vote ‘No’ to independence

endum all summer long, beginning with the launch of a referendum ‘hub’ today on our website. As part of interviewing others, emailing politicians and their staff, and contacting the University’s press office here in St Andrews, I’ve been able to hone my journalism skills and increase my own confidence. I started out feeling apprehensive about contacting random people for comments and interviews, but I’ve realised I just need to put myself out there and help instil my sub-editors and writers with a similar confidence to cold contact others. The never-ending search for articles, always-impending deadlines, and the very demanding nature of journalism has made me recognise that this is not the career path for me – but that’s just part of trying something new. I’ve loved the work, but without a doubt it’s stressful, it’s tough and it’s never-ending. I have gained an immense knowledge of St Andrews and many critical skills through my experience with The Saint, which is why I’ve decided to take on the role of editor again next year. But even though I’m continuing in the role, don’t expect to see the same Features section next year that you see here today. From now on I will be co-editing with third-year divinity student Caroline Rhoads. Having Caroline as a co-editor with me will allow me to focus on filling the section with lengthy special features, including pullouts on topics relevant to students. I’ll also be taking Features’ politics coverage, where we will make a concerted effort to connect students to the international and domestic events of the day. Caroline will be leading Features’ lifestyle coverage, including travel, food and traditional lifestyle pieces. Periodic technology pieces will be wrapped up into lifestyle too. I hope you’ve enjoyed our coverage of a wide range of issues this past year and I encourage you to continue to read our online coverage throughout the summer - we’ll be writing constantly until The Saint’s fresher’s issue in September. If you are particularly interested in the independence referendum, I would appreciate it if you would submit an article or commentary on the topic, at any point from now until the referendum, to features@ thesaint-online.com. With that, all that remains is for me to wish you a wonderful summer! Please email us your summer internship, travel or general life stories, as I’m sure your fellow students would love to hear about your varied and exciting experiences. All the best until September!

Miles Adams

The chancellor of the University of St Andrews explains why the University will do better under the current system Sir Menzies Campbell Chancellor of the University In September Scotland goes to the polls in the most important vote in generations. It will mark the end of a long and bitter campaign, waged by the Yes and the No campaigns across the airwaves but replayed in workplaces, pubs and offices across Scotland. The rhetoric has exceeded anything we are used to during elections for the Scottish and Westminster parliaments. But the voter apathy which so often plagues those elections is nowhere to be seen. I have yet to meet anyone who has told me that they won’t be bothering to vote as I so often do during local or national elections. A lack of interest is said to be most prevalent among the young but I have to say that my 30 years experience of political life has always suggested something different: that young people are engaged in politics. With the consequences of independence likely to be felt profoundly in the areas of education and jobs it is unsurprising that younger voters are focusing on the issues at the heart of the referendum campaign (and incidentally proving all those who said 16- to 18-yearolds couldn’t be trusted with the vote wrong). I will vote ‘No’ in the referendum. I write that as a proud Scot, as someone who was born, raised and educated in Scotland. It is wrong to label supporters of the Union

Online this week A guide to Scottish oil and gas In a thorough feature, Jamie Lewis examines Scotland’s oil and gas reserves and future output potential. Are SNP leaders correct in their oil and gas claims? Does Scotland have a lasting supply of oil and gas energy? 2014 summer travel guide Features travel sub-editor Nandita Nair has put together her guide of the best places to go and things to do this summer. Will you be making a trip to London or heading to one of her top festival recommendations? Great summer recipes that keep you coming back for more Online this week we have a series of recipes just in time for summer. Will you be making Maria Sisci’s hazelnut thyme pesto and pasta or her pear jam with scones? Or Samantha Marcus’ strawberry rhubarb pie?

The referendum campaign shouldn’t be a contest of who loves their country more as ‘anti-Scottish’. The referendum campaign shouldn’t be a contest of who loves their country more. It does a disservice to the importance of the argument for it to be characterised as such. We each have our own reasons for deciding how we will vote. The future of the University of St Andrews, like that of the other Scottish universities, in an independent Scotland is typical of the larger debate taking place: have the benefits of separation been shown to outweigh the advantages of the current, shared system? In my view legitimate questions about tuition fees and access to research council funding in an independent Scotland remain unanswered. It has been shown that Scottish universities do well out of the current system, with more research council grant funding going to Scotland in proportion to its population than the rest of the UK. Being part of a large funding organisation, one which allows the UK’s universities to share facilities and networks, can facilitate big, complex projects that may not be viable under a smaller funding set-up. It is a system which benefits

Photo: Maria Faciolince

After being Features editor now for 12 months, I can without a doubt say that it’s not an easy job. I’ve definitely done a lot of easier work before and been paid for it. Editing is a constant battle between taking critical time out to gather articles, editing pieces, and conducting interviews myself. The ‘editing’ aspect is by far the shortest time commitment of all the work I do in the role. Last summer, when I took over from Caitlin Hamilton, I recall being very nervous about the job. I had written for The Saint previously, but I’d never ‘edited’. I wanted to make sure I could carry the weight and not fall too short of the high bar Caitlin set. Every editor is able to set their own direction for the section, especially for Features since it does cover a multitude of topics. This past year I have sought to include more interviews, cover a wider swath of politics, including domestic and international, and refocus on student life. Even with Features, last-minute events can shape the direction of the issue. While talking to my friend Vivek Shah in late September, I was crushed to find out that the Westgate Mall tragedy in Nairobi had personally affected his family friends and really shaken up the city where some of his family have long resided. It’s always awkward for a journalist to search for those affected by tragic news, but in this case it was a horrible, heartbreaking story that affected someone I knew well. I carefully asked Vivek if he would consider sharing his own story and he responded with an incredible article titled Reflections on the Westgate tragedy, including numerous images that had been taken as events unfolded inside the mall. Including the coverage of Westgate resulted in shifting articles around at the 11th hour to include Vivek’s reflection. This is an example of one of the many speedy adjustments that journalists have to make all the time as current events shape the news. Other highlights during my tenure include interviews I’ve conducted on the Scottish independence referendum and an interview with St Andrews’ director of development. Since independence is such a divisive issue, my interviews have in some cases led to complaints over the nature of some of the interviews. If a journalist gets complaints from both sides on an issue, then he or she is doing their job well. Even though this is the last printed issue of the year, Features will continue to run extensive coverage of the independence refer-

24 April 2014 • The Saint

Scotland and the UK as a whole but this alone is not enough to guarantee its continuation should Scotland separate; it would have to be negotiated, along with so much else. It is worth noting that during these negotiations the Scottish government would be asking for this situation to be allowed to continue while simultaneously arguing against allowing students from England, Wales and Northern Ireland the right to study in Scotland for free. This position is currently legal because of the way EU member states are allowed to discriminate within their borders. Were Scotland to become a separate EU member state this position would logically become legally unsustainable. Stating that an independent Scotland would have a ‘unique’ case to make to be allowed to continue this policy is typical - and typically vague - of the Yes campaign. Arguing that Scots would be squeezed out of places at Scottish universities does not justify an independent Scotland being allowed to continue this policy. It is an argument against independence. St Andrews continues to consolidate its reputation for excellence here and abroad, something of which we should be justifiably proud. The University’s future lies in establishing more partnerships and attracting more of the brightest and best from within Scotland and without. This is not a time to build borders, it is a time to look beyond them.


The Saint • 24 April 2014

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Features 17

Mermaids president David Patterson reflects on his past four years at St Andrews “I’m caught between desperation to get into the real world, and wondering if life will ever be as good as it has these past years. I’ve learned more than I thought possible. And none of it from textbooks” got four years to make it your own, to build your St Andrews, and then only three short years after you go it’s an entirely different place. Constant change and enduring legacy run side by side in St Andrews in perfect harmony. Traditions like the pier walk span the centuries, with a vast sea of scarlet gowns connecting us with our past. Then newer traditions, like the academic family, foster friendships and pseudo-familial ties that will

Term is drawing to a close. I’ve submitted my last coursework for the year and now there are only two exams between me and graduation, and then the world is my oyster. Well, it may well be my oyster but first I have to open the thing... but they don’t teach you how. I asked a tutor the other day if he had any life advice. He shrugged, rubbed his face – visibly aging as he did so – and sighed: “Don’t let the bastards get you down.” That’s the kind of optimism we love in a teacher. So now there is me, a vague sense of direction and some drive. But where to drive to? In what direction, for how long? They don’t teach you these things. But I know that I’m ready to face reality - that’s what St Andrews has taught me. I didn’t exactly feel it happen but it’s left me ready. My eldest brother is 12 years older than I am; he’s a mature student at Glasgow. He’s serious and unsentimental, whereas I have enough sentimentality to drown in my own tears. We’ve often discussed what the point of university is - he doesn’t really credit all the hours we sink into sports clubs, societies, student politics and events. He sees it as rather frivolous. I suppose he would; he freely admits he ‘got it all out of his system’ before he went. I still disagree. Fiercely. What we learn from university goes far beyond the content of our lectures, our reading, and our essays. What we learn as students, both of our subject and of life, is invaluable. We get that from all the extra things we do: from all the causes that inspire us to action and from the hobbies and pastimes we devote our spare hours to. We learn invaluable skills from participating in the varied and vibrant society that St Andrews offers us. I find myself growing increasingly reflective about my time here. I’m caught between a real desperation to get out into the real world, and seriously wondering if life will

Photo: David Patterson

David Patterson

David Patterson with the Meraids committee: “The most challenging and rewarding part of my time here” Don’t get me wrong, it was intellectual curiosity and ideas that fired a lot of the things that I enjoyed - debating and student politics for instance. And while tutorial discussions were fascinating and stimulating it was the promise that they would lead to more concrete, real experiences that drove me forward. Maybe even the promise of a job. There is so much in St Andrews to be excited about. I’ve met the finest people I’ve ever known here and had some of the best nights out. When people from home ask me about St Andrews they usually end their

There is so much in St Andrews to be excited about. I’ve met the finest people I’ve ever known here and had some of the best nights out ever be as good as it has these past four years. I’ve loved my time here, and I’ve grown so much that really I’ve learned more than I thought possible. And none of it, really, from textbooks.

question with a patronising head-tilt, a softening of the eyes and the words “I hear there isn’t much nightlife”. On the contrary - there is a bright and vivacious nightlife that is studentdriven and student-led.

From themed events and alternative locations, St Andrews has never disappointed on that front - though we’ve all experienced the tragedy of an empty dance floor at the Lizard. We throw our own balls and increasingly more innovative events, with

but societies and clubs are central to a university’s purpose. Fair enough, I’m biased - I spent a huge amount of my time involved with Mermaids and the performing arts - but it’s been the most challenging and rewarding part of my time here. You’re work-

With 8,000 students from all across the globe squeezed into such a small space it becomes a crucible of intellect and creativity... we have no option but to make our own fun our town’s small size and limited resources forcing us to constantly outdo ourselves; ever to excel. St Andrews’ small size is one of its many assets. With 8,000 students from all across the globe squeezed into such a small space it becomes a crucible of intellect and creativity. We’re stuck to a rock on the north east coast; we have no option but to make our own fun. My brother may dismiss them,

ing in groups with passionate and committed people, solving problems, producing plays and helping others to get the most out of St Andrews. It’s odd handing everything over, packing up and getting ready to move on. But you realise that although you’re moving on, you’re taking all the memories and lessons with you. At St Andrews you’re part of a community that celebrates its fastpaced and transient nature. You’ve

My time at St Andrews has been one of great variation, full of the highs and lows that life affords us in our first flight out of the nest last throughout your time here - or, if you’re lucky like me, for far longer. Being such a small community means that our diverse arrays of interests percolate, and we can experience cultures and ideas from all across the globe. People who at first may seem at odds with ourselves can end up becoming our dearest friends. You learn to see past stereotypes, to take people for who they are. Whether it’s rugby or Comp Sci, St Andrews shows you that people are people and if you open your mind the possibilities are limitless. My time at St Andrews has been one of great variation, full of the highs and lows that life affords us in our first flight out of the nest. Towards the end of a bottle of wine (each), a friend and I were discussing the past four years. “You know,” she said, “there’s no better place than St Andrews to be sad’. I was struck for a moment, but then I realised she was right. Here you are safe to explore, to learn and to fail. Here you are supported and encouraged to try out your ideas and to discover who you are. And by the time you reach the end, you realise that you’re ready to go. Ready to face the real world. St Andrews is mad. So, if you can make it here, the real world can’t be so hard. In a place like St Andrews you really do get out what you put in. You might as well; what have you got to lose... apart from your sanity?


18 Features

24 April 2014 • The Saint

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The Saint’s guide to Scottish independence We present each side’s arguments along with our thoughts to help you make an informed decision

Tuition

Research

Currency

Welfare

Maintain the status quo: continue to charge RUK students the same as they are now (£9,000 per year) and charge EU students from outside the UK the same as home fees (free tuition, as for Scottish students). Some have criticised this proposed setup, but through extensive legal consultation the Yes campaign has determined that this is entirely feasible and does not violate any EU laws or regulations.

Independence will not affect research funding: an independent Scotland could share research arrangements and facilities with the rest of the UK. While Scotland would likely increase its funding for Scottish universities to account for any minor changes in UK funding, UK funding in many cases is likely to continue after independence. This would be facilitated through a reciprocal arrangement.

An independent Scotland would enter into an agreement with the government of the UK and continue to use the pound. Yes Scotland’s economics panel, including two Nobel laureates, have examined the matter and concluded that this would be a logical and seamless arrangement to ensure the long-term success of both countries. Sharing a currency would result in the easiest possible transition to independence.

Benefits and state pensions will be paid in the exact same way (except by the Scottish government instead of the UK government) and people on benefits will be entitled to the exact same amount they are currently receiving. Therefore, in an independent Scotland, you could be sure that you will have all the advantages of independence without any concerns about your current level of benefits and pensions.

It is likely to be impossible to continue charging RUK students if Scotland is independent because RUK students would need to be treated the same as students from other EU countries. Therefore, since EU students are not charged home fees, UK students would also need to be given free tuition. Otherwise Scotland would be going against the equal treatment of students across the EU.

There is little precedent for shared research councils between countries. Any agreements would be thoroughly examined and re-negotiated if Scotland became independent. Most likely, the UK Research Councils would cease all funding for Scottish universities. Furthermore, there is no guarantee Scotland would be readmitted to the EU, in which case Scottish universities would likely not be able to maintain EU grants and subsidies.

It is unlikely that a eurozone-style arrangement would be agreed upon by an independent Scotland, and George Osborne stated in February that the UK would not sign a currency union with an independent Scotland. In his February speech, Mr Osborne clearly stated: “If Scotland walks away from the UK, it walks away from the pound.” The UK will not back down; this would not be in the UK’s interest.

The welfare promises made by the supporters of an independent Scotland are not credible; pooling and sharing resources across the UK makes benefit spending more affordable for Scotland. With the current system, beneficiaries are guaranteed their current level of benefits in a currency they know and trust for financial security in the future. The Yes campaign has promised more benefits without solid fiscal plans to support them.

If Scotland became independent, it is unlikely that it would be able to continue charging RUK students tuition fees. Scotland would face serious discrimination challenges under European law, possibly taking years to resolve, during which time it would have to allow UK students free tuition in order to treat them like other EU citizens. Under the most likely scenario, if free tuition were to be extended to RUK and EU students, Scottish universities could be inundated with extra applications from RUK students. University funding could take a significant hit: RUK tuition fees are a significant source of revenue for universities across Scotland and a drastic change from £9,000 could lead to financial shortfalls.

New taxes and costs could make it more difficult for UK-based businesses and charities to fund research in an independent Scotland. Additionally, access to EU funding would hinge on Scotland retaining or regaining EU mmbership. As far as UK Research Councils is concerned, it seems likeliest that funding would be limited to UK universities and not include agreements with an independent Scotland. From The Saint’s interviews with St Andrews staff, this is a real area of concern. If UK funding diminishes or ceases, it is unlikely that Scotland would be able to make up the loss. Research priorities are not the same across countries, so the Scottish government would probably re-examine funding and distribute it as it saw fit.

Without the UK’s consent, Scotland could not have a currency union using the pound. Scotland could use the pound on its own, but this could lead to major money flow issues. Given the eurozone’s current state it is unlikely the EU would allow Scotland to adopt the euro (assuming Scotland gained EU entry) without a long process of due diligence. This means the likeliest outcomes are unilateral use of the pound or setting up a new Scottish currency in 18 months. It would be difficult for Scotland to build trust in its economy with a new currency; proving solvency takes a long time and would require Scotland to be financially active while maintaining existing services in Scotland.

If Scottish government income remains constant then it should be able to maintain current levels of welfare, albeit with some extra debt. Some pro-independence leaders have suggested Scotland could increase pensions and benefits while reducing the tax burden Scottish citizens currently face. An increase in welfare and a reduction in taxes is a very poor fiscal strategy and would result in high long-term deficits. If Scotland seeks a Scandinavian benefit system it will need to increase tax income. In future budgets, an independent Scotland may aim to rely on oil and gas, but it would be nearly impossible for Scotland to match the oil revenues of Norway. But Scotland could likely maintain current welfare levels.

“We will not wake up on the morning of 19 September next year and think to ourselves what might have been... We will wake up on that morning filled with hope and expectation - ready to build a new nation both prosperous and just... After almost a quarter of a century moving forward to this very moment - let us ask ourselves these simple questions: If not us, then who? If not now, when?” - Alex Salmond, first minister of Scotland (pictured here seated on the left with his Scottish cabinet ministers in Bute House, Edinburgh)

“Westminster sees itself as the decisionmaker with Scotland relegated to secondclass status. Why would anyone want to stay in a Union where we are treated in such a way?” - Nicola Sturgeon, deputy first minister of Scotland

“The Treasury has claimed the UK would have exclusive access to the role and responsibilities of the Bank of England. If you follow that argument to its logical conclusion, then it is also responsible for the entire debt liability...” - John Swinney, Scottish finance minister

“There are many things I want this coalition government to do, but what could matter more than saving our United Kingdom? Let’s say it, we’re better together... let us fight that referendum with everything we’ve got.” - David Cameron, prime minister

Key figures


The Saint • 24 April 2014

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Features 19 This special feature was produced by Miles Adams, features editor; Ellen MacPherson, domestic politics sub-editor; and Caroline Rhoads, incoming Features co-editor. All photos: WikiCommons

Oil and gas Health

Defence

Politics

History

Independence could provide “an unrivalled opportunity to boost our energy wealth, support employment and grow our economy,” says Alex Salmond According to Yes Scotland: “Scotland will continue to produce oil and gas into the second half of this century. As the UK government’s own Oil and Gas Industrial Strategy confirms: ‘The reality is that the UK will continue to supply oil and gas well beyond 2055.’”

A ‘Yes’ vote will not affect crossborder arrangements with health services outside of Scotland. The Scottish NHS already operates independently of the NHS in the rest of the UK. The Republic of Ireland is evidence that red tape won’t get in the way of transplants and existing hospital networks. NHS benefits including universal free prescriptions will remain in place following independence.

Scotland will inherit any existing army, air and naval bases and set up new defence and intelligence institutions. The SNP’s first priority is the removal of nuclear weapons within the first five years of Scotland gaining independence. The Scottish Government still supports continued membership of NATO on the proviso that it should not require the retention of nuclear weapons. However, other political parties differ on the issue of NATO.

Devolution: “devo max”, would see all powers devolved to the Scottish government with the exception of defence and foreign affairs. Alex Salmond has called it “very attractive” but the SNP supports full independence. EU: the SNP proposes to agree to continued membership of the EU between the dates of referendum and independence. The SNP has not said it is worried about being rejected from the EU.

Though the SNP has shied away from historically-motivated nationalist rhetoric, Yes supporters often stress the history of English suppression of Scottish culture. There is a history of Scottish devolution and independence movements, with home rule first considered in 1853. Scotland voted for further devolution in 1979 and this led to a devolved parliament in 1999.

David Cameron has claimed that his cabinet would focus on how the UK government can “maximise the benefit of North Sea oil and gas to the UK economy for decades into the future, giving a vital boost to local communities and families across Scotland.” The UK government has also stated on multiple occasions that North Sea oil revenues going to the UK are more than offset by UK spending in Scotland.

Scottish independence may make it difficult for those who need to seek specialist medical care across the border. Otherwise, since NHS Scotland is operated independently, it would likely be able to function as is. The real question regards the Scottish government’s funding mechanisms if it attempts to greatly expand NHS services while continuing to offer universal free prescriptions.

The UK is safer together with the world’s fourth largest defence budget. Scotland’s budget would comprise seven per cent of this. Scotland would lose the global influence it has through the UK defence system as well as many shipbuilding jobs. The system is a benefit that all Scottish people enjoy by being able to live in a free society. It is unlikely Scotland would be able to set up an advanced defence network shortly after independence.

Devolution: a ‘No’ vote does not mean no change. Devolution means the success of the Scottish parliament plus the UK’s security and stability. The UK recently gave more powers to Wales and could do so for Scotland too. EU: The UK is one of Europe’s ‘big three’; Scotland would have to start relations afresh as a new state. Scotland’s path into the EU is unclear: it may want to avoid the euro or opt-out of the Schengen Agreement.

The Union has had a distinctively Scottish side for centuries. Scotland has had strong ties with England during the Reformation, the Union of Crowns, the British Enlightenment (which many Scottish intellectuals were at the centre of) and the period of Empire. Unionists stress that unionism can help Scotland and England move beyond the conflict and resentment of the past to a brighter future.

The vast majority of studies show Scottish oil and gas output has already peaked and will continue to diminish. By most accounts it is too late for Scotland to enjoy a Norweigiansized sovereign wealth fund from North Sea oil revenues; any comparisons with Norway are therefore inaccurate. It would not be prudent for either the UK or an independent Scotland to rely on oil and gas for a steady source of revenue. At best, an independent Scotland may receive a short-term boost from these revenues. A strong economy requires diversification away from dwindling fossil fuel production and this is Scotland’s best bet either within or outwith the UK.

The Scottish NHS has been independent since its creation over 60 years ago, though it does share a contractual agreement with the NHS in England. EU directives protect cross-border treatment and many international hospitals have agreements in place for patient transfers and equipment sharing. Replacing the current internal relationship with an international one is therefore unlikely to cause too much trouble for the system. The only area of contention here is the privatisation of certain parts of the NHS, as the SNP have stood against this. A cessation of all NHS Scotland privatisation is likely to be the only notable change under an independent Scotland.

Scots have a proud and outstanding military legacy that independence is unlikely to tarnish. Scotland certainly would have a smaller defence budget and be less influential internationally than the UK, but existing military bases in Scotland could easily be used by a Scottish military. The main concern lies with NATO and nuclear weapons. The UK is a major contributor to NATO, but Scotland may decide to take a pacifist tone and scale back involvement. Trident presents a major issue - where will the nuclear-equipped submarines go? Even after independence, this would be a long process that the Scottish government may get impatient with.

Devolution: polls show that devolution is the most popular option among voters, and recent legislation has shown that Scotland is on that path. Only Westminster can allow the devolution of powers, however. EU: Many of Scotland’s top legal advisers have said that Scotland would not find it hard to be approved for EU membership. Scotland has already been present in the EU under UK delegations, and as a state it would meet all the criteria for membership. But separatist movements in Spain and Belgium may lead to awkward relations and delays in reaching a consensus. Spain’s Jose Manuel Barroso has indicated he would make it difficult for Scotland to join.

Much of the rhetoric of the Scottish nationalists concerning England is historically understandable. Despite the SNP avoiding talk of Jacobites and William Wallace, it is undeniable that Scotland’s history has a psychological effect on voters. Scotland and England have a long history of conflict, but also a long and more recent - history of union. The joining of Scotland and England to form the United Kingdom is in many ways the most successful union, politically and economically, of all time. Regardless, neither side is likely to convince the other of their viewpoint on this issue.

Who can vote and how? Jane Ann Liston North-east Fife Liberal Democrats

“A currency union will not work because it would not be in Scotland’s interests and would not be in the UK’s interests... Scotland would have no control over mortgage rates and would be binding its hands on tax and funding for vital public services.” - George Osborne, chancellor

“The SNP like to assert that they have a vision for an independent Scotland and that their White Paper is its articulation. It is not. This is not a vision, it is a mirage. Like all mirages, the closer you get the less real it becomes... It simply does not add up.” - Alistair Carmichael, Scottish secretary

“There’s a strong positive case to be made for the UK. We have the best of both worlds with the Scottish parliament, but we are also part of something larger... We’ve got to persuade those people who are already convinced of our argument they cannot be complacent.” - Alistair Darling, chair of Better Together

As you probably know, on 18 September there will be a vote to determine whether Scotland remains part of the United Kingdom or opts for independence. Everybody who is eligible to vote in local government elections (this includes EU residents) and is registered on the electoral roll by 2 September at an address in Scotland may vote in this referendum. Although this may exclude students yet to move in to halls of residence, many students in private accommodation could be eligible to register. If you are not planning to be in St Andrews on the day of the referendum to vote in person, you can

still vote by post provided you are on the electoral register. Alternatively, if you do not know where you will be staying on the date, you can appoint someone as a proxy to vote in St Andrews on your behalf. To apply for a postal or proxy vote, or simply to ensure you are on the electoral register, contact Fife Council at voters.roll@fife.gov.uk, or telephone 03451 555511. In addition to your personal details, if you wish to vote by post you’ll need to confirm where you will be staying in mid-September so the Council can post the ballot paper to you. As this is a very important vote, it is hoped that as many eligible students as possible will avail themselves of the right to participate.


20 Photography

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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Week in pictures

Photo: Sammi McKee

Photo: Sammi McKee Photo: Raphael Benros

Photo: Sammi McKee

Photography chiefs: Maria Faciolince and Sammi McKee

Photo: Sammi McKee

Photo: Samantha Marcus

Photos from Under Canvas, Rugby 7s, St.Art launch party and Fight Night at the Union. The Saint’s next print issue will come out in September. We would love to see photos from your summer travels, which you can submit during the break to photography@thesaint-online.com.


The Saint • 24 April 2014

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Photography 21

Editors’ pics: Spring

Photo: Maria Faciolince

Photo: Freya Coursey Photo: Tamar Ziff

Photo: Olly Leonard

Photo: Raphael Benros


EVENTS

Editor: Devini Pabari Sub-editor: Alison Hutchison @saint_events

events@thesaint-online.com

thesaint-online.com/events

TEDx: prepare to be inspired Tamar Ziff gets the lowdown from event organisers Yousra Elbagir and Farah Fazalbhoy on the much anticipated TEDx Conference 2014, as it returns to the Bubble for the third year running The Saint: When did you guys first get involved with the organisation of TEDx? Yousra Elbagir: We were both head of content last year, and the organisers – who were graduating – handed down the role to us. Last year was the first real TEDx talk; technically the TEDx University of St Andrews franchise began two years ago, but it was quite small. Farah Fazalbhoy: We initially just saw the advertising for it and applied – we all know TED talks, so we were curious to see how it could be implemented in the University. TS: Why did you decide to get involved in this initiative? YE: Well, we just really like TED talks. Two years ago it started out as this tiny thing, and now it’s grown so much – it’s important to have a brand like this in St Andrews. FF: Also, TED talks are basically the one accepted procrastination tool that everyone turns to – it’s the not-soguilty guilty pleasure: you’re learning something, right? It’s cool in that it creatively presents topics and ideas in an interesting way that encourages people to learn more and explore. No matter where people are from in St Andrews, they are drawn to the name. We need to draw people out of the Bubble and into a greater world of “ideas worth spreading”. TS: How do the speakers get chosen?

YE: Last year, as the heads of content, we were more involved in picking and contacting the speakers. We essentially choose five or six speakers from a variety of different fields, researching each in depth and then bombard them with emails. FF: It was really difficult – it was the first time that this had happened in St Andrews, so nobody had heard of us. We got a lot of rejections, and had to send out virtually hundreds and hundreds of emails. Luckily, in the end, we managed to get some pretty great people. YE: This year, due to the success of last year’s conference, the calibre of speakers has really gone up. We set the bar pretty high last year, for our inaugural event. FF: A lot of people have become extremely keen - now we have people emailing us, which is great, as we no longer have to chase after everyone. YE: Ultimately, we look for speakers from multiple fields of research, all having to do with our theme, which this year is the ‘power of play’; basically, that innovation and lightness,

What matters most is... what they leave us thinking about

as well as a desire to explore and play with ideas, can be adapted to create absolutely anything. FF: The best thing was stretching that theme to the sciences. This year, we have two doctors speaking: one, Dr Philip Jungebluth, is an expert in regenerative medicine, and the other, Dr Amy Carton, is a cancer researcher who actually led the think tank which came up with the ‘no makeup selfie’ initiative on social media. TS: Apropros, how did you come up with the theme? YE: Well, we had a Skype session over the summer about this – we needed something snappy, something catchy. Our head of content, Louis, gave us the word ‘play’, which we liked, and we decided to build on that. The ‘power of play’ is short and memorable, good for quick-marketing, but it is actually largely inspired on what happened at the event last year. FF: We had a comedian last year, Gavin Oattes, come and speak about his initiative called the “Tree of Knowledge”. His talk was called ‘Life’s a Playground’, and it consisted of him making everyone in the crowd, including Louise Richardson, play hide and seek. He is actually hosting this year’s conference, which is perfect. YE: We wanted to continue on with the theme of playfulness and imagination, so the ‘power of play’ worked nicely. TS: Were there any speakers you re-

ally wanted to have this year? FF: We wanted the guy who started Spotify – I can’t remember his name, but he would have been a big draw. These days, it really doesn’t matter what people actually do, it’s all about the brand. I could tell you his name, and you wouldn’t recognise it, but I say ‘the founder of Spotify’ and people would be like, ‘Oh, wow, that’s amazing!’ It would have been something really cool, which many people would have wanted to see. YE: The tricky thing is choosing people who are great speakers as well. There are tons of entrepeneurs, CEOs of companies and other really successful people that don’t know how to give a TED talk. They can lecture, but being a good speaker and doing a TED talk is not the same thing - you need to tell an exciting story through your experiences that can be applicable to everyone. FF: That’s the difference with TED, really. Other societies invite speakers to give talks, but it’s all about their lives - themselves - and not necessarily applicable to everyone. We need speakers to engage and really share ideas with the audience. What matters most is what they impart on us, what they leave us thinking about. TS: Which speakers are you most excited about this year? FF: I can’t wait to see Teio Meedendorp, who led the search and discovery of the most recent Van Gogh painting. YE: Yeah, that’s because you’re an

art history student! I personally am really excited to hear the speech by Abiodun Williams, president of the Hague Institute of Global Justice. Considering the turmoil and crises in the world at this moment, what he has to say will be incredibly relevant, and I look forward to hearing it. TS: Is there any message you would like to leave our readers with? YE: With the job market situation as it is and the prospect of real responsibilities and burdens ahead, we will all leave university with a heavy heart. I feel like it helps to hear from people who have braved – and succeeded in – that world already, and know from their experiences that it is not all bad. It is an area for exploration that we can take advantage of and should not fear. FF: Wow, well, I can’t think of anything that truly embodies the meaning of TEDx... We have put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into it, all in order to truly make something out of TEDx at St Andrews. We want people to want to see it, to want to learn and share their ideas, to put themselves out there. That is the point of TEDx, and what students should know is that we should not be afraid to explore and develop our ideas, and share them with the world. TEDx conference “The Power of Play” will take place on Saturday 26 April. Ticket sales are available online, but will also be sold in front of the library on Friday 18 April from 1 pm - 4 pm.

The top eight events in the Bubble Tierney Riordan tells you where to be to make the most of the final weeks of semester two Saint Awards Join your favourite newspaper for an evening of stories and prizes (and perhaps a good dose of alcohol) in Venue 2 tonight! Yes, it’s the annual Saint Awards, so don your finest lanyard, sharpen your pencils and bring spare batteries for the voice recorder - this is going to be a night to remember. There will be prizes for nearly every section, so come on down and see what professional journalists have to say about breaking news in the Bubble!

you don’t like the band, this is a night that you can’t afford to miss out on!

Hit the Lights

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, the gents of the Kate Kennedy Club have struck again, with their annual May Ball completely selling out over two weeks ago! See our in-depth interview with the Ball Convenor on page 23. It’s the perfect way to sign off on Semester two before the library claims your soul!

Love to dance? Then get along to Hit the Lights, hosted by DanceSoc. Held on 2 and 3 May in Venue 1, go see just what DanceSoc have been up to over the past 10 months. They’ll be showcasing everything from ballet to breakdancing in what promises to be an exciting and energetic show. What’s more, at only £5 for students this is one event worth procrastinating for!

Rewind

Eurovision

The final rewind takes place on Saturday night. The best new night in town with the worst old music - what more could you want from a night at the union? And let’s face it, we all secretly love b*witched... There’s even a rewind playlist on youtube to get you in the mood early!

St Andrews is renowned for its über-cosmopolitan student body, so there’s no excuses to be missing the Eurovision Song Contest 2014. Venue 1 will be screening the whole programme on a giant projector, which will ensure you don’t miss one second of the action. Comfortable sofas and voting slips will give the night a

May Ball

Itchy Feet The Itchy Feet crew are back in town tonight! If dancing’s more your thing, then Edinburgh’s finest Tall Paul, and his Irish partner in crime Count Sky Larkin, will be playing the distinctive mix of rock ‘n’ roll, ska, swing, soul, and blues that makes Itchy Feet one of a kind. With a moneyback guarantee if

special twist, so gather your buddies, paint a flag on your face and watch the UK - inevitably - lose again. Wet Wednesday If you’re not out on 30 April, there’s something wrong with you: it’s the eve of May Dip! For some of you, sheer bravado will get you through the night, but for those who need something a little stronger to help them wade their way in the waters of the North Sea, the Vic have got you covered. With entry a reasonable £2 and great drinks deals, there’s no other place to be killing time before you head down to East Sands. May Dip If you committed academic incest or stepped on the PH, then this is your only hope of salvaging your degree. Why bother revising when you can

stay up all night and run into the freezing cold North Sea at dawn with all of your friends? Seriously though, May Dip is an institution in St Andrews. No excuses - you gotta do it! So rally a group, embrace the cold, strip down to your bikinis (or your birthday suit if you’re feeling especially brave) and get ready to get wet. Head to the beach early for a pre-dip party. Grad Ball And for our last must-attend event of the year, it has to be Grad Ball. Held on Lower College Lawn on 27 June, it’ll be a night of good music and company as we bid a fond farewell to those leaving us. Tickets can be bought from the main office in the Union. With rumours of ice-sculptures and champagne fountains, don’t let the first time you go to Grad Ball be in your final year. Bring tissues - there will be tears.


23 Events

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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Under Canvas 2014: did you #getunder? Given that this time last year I was sunning myself on the warm streets of Madrid with my mind far from the cobbled streets of St Andrews, I really didn’t know what to expect from Under Canvas this time around. I had heard great things, hence I decided to get a ticket; but as I’ve said before in these pages, music isn’t really my thing. In fact, to be quite honest, I’d much rather be wearing pearls around my neck than flowers in my hair. So what was my final verdict on Under Canvas, which took place on Saturday night? I can answer that question with another question: who knew there were so many hipsters in St Andrews? Let me begin by saying that the venue, which consisted of numerous marquees elegantly pitched in a stunningly-lit St Mary’s Quad, was for me a personal highlight. I take my hat off to the organisers - it’s not easy to make a 600-year-old building look ‘edgy’ but they definitely managed it. The spectacular holm oak that dominates the Quad was transformed into a beautiful centrepiece with the help of some purple lighting, and some 60’s-style deck chairs in clashing patterns and garish colours provided the perfect spot to rest tired legs, eat your Butler’s Wrap (which were divine, as usual) or just sit back and soak it all in. By ‘it’, I’m obviously referring

to the atmosphere, which was by all accounts pretty electric. I’ve never been to a full-on music festival, but I’m told that it’s not just the music, but rather the ambience that people fall in love with. And it’s true that there was something about this colourful event, so unlike any other on the St Andrews’ scene, that seemed to bring out everyone’s true self. No uncomfortable dresses, painful high heels or stuffy dinner jackets meant that everyone could leave the vanity at home and just enjoy each other’s company. People wore what they wanted, how they wanted, which was really great to see. I’m pretty sure I saw one guy with glitter for eyebrows. As one flowerheadband-wearing guest put it, the event was “truly like a breath of fresh air”. Embracing the weird and wonderful, one small marquee to the right of the entrance, which was decorated by St.ART, featured a ballpit filled with inflatable rubber-rings and beach balls as well as unholy amounts of popcorn (which personally I didn’t understand the need for, but Under Canvas is nothing if not innovative). Nevertheless, there were people sitting in it, so I guess each to their own. Are we starting to see a theme developing here? Inside the main marquee, crowds gathered to revel in the alternative music blasting from the main stage. As promised, though the tempo started slow, the intensity of the

beats grew as the night wore on. The dance-floor was packed from the evening’s start until its end at 2:00 am, filled with sweaty bodies enjoying interesting tunes from local bands like Anushka, Moodroom Collective, Ossie - Producer and xxxy. That said, the evening was not without its flaws. First and foremost, I don’t know when event organisers in St Andrews are going to come to terms with the basic human biology that is the urinary system. Put simply: consuming lots of liquid will increase frequency of bathroom trips. Even as a language student, I can deduce that 10 portaloos for 650 people will likely pose a logistical problem. Sizable queues made for a chilly wait, particularly for those among us who had embraced the festival theme and opted for bare legs. Another forgivable failing was that the event started far too early. I understand that it was part of the premise - everyone arriving at sunset and getting to see the first act, folksy band Lights on the Mountain, would provide a chilled and earthy start to the evening - but I think we can all admit that an 8:00 pm start was simply quite unrealistic. Arriving at 8:30 pm, I thought we were fashionably late; but I was wrong. The event was a third full at best, with many people choosing to continue drinking at home until around 9:30 pm, passing up on the

free drinks tokens (one gin and mixer, one vodka and mixer, one beer) on offer for those who arrived before 8:30 pm (although it later transpired that these tardy guests were still permitted their tokens). On the subject of drinks, although this really wasn’t the kind of event for 10 shots of flaming sambucas (you should’ve gone to Rugby 7’s if that’s what you were after), getting to the one small bar serving spirits proved difficult as the night wore on. That said, the good music kept the crowd’s spirits high as they waited patiently. Unable to trust my own ‘mainstream opinion’ (I actually had to look up the antonym of ‘mainstream’ for this article. Apparently, it’s ‘edgy’. If that doesn’t prove how un-edgy I am, then frankly I don’t know what does), I decided to ask

around to see what the general consensus was. In truth, opinions varied, though they were for the most part overwhelmingly positive; some people even told me that it was the best event that they’d ever been to in St Andrews. Overall, it seems Under Canvas 2014 was for some “the best night ever” and for others “something a little different and a lot of good fun”. I’ll admit that I definitely fell into the latter group; the event didn’t change my life, but I enjoyed it. Although one sunglasses-wearing girl, clutching a beer in each hand, did add: “I mean it’s not really that different to any other event in St Andrews, it’s just like the same people but dressed a little differently. It’s sort of a bit like everyone’s a phony.” ...Spoken like a true hipster.

Photo: Samantha Marcus

Alison Hutchison Events sub-editor

May Ball: rides, champagne and Duke Dumont It’s the end of semester two. Dissertations and essays have been handed in, classes are turning into consolidation lectures, tutorials are being abandoned in favour of revision (read: sunshine on the beach) and that can only mean it’s time for two of the biggest non-fashion related events of the year. Both May Dip and May Ball are institutions in St Andrews, and I would argue that you have to experience one, if not both, during your time here. I’m eagerly anticipating both (nothing to do with the fact that it essentially

means that my dissertation will be done at this point – get me out of the lab already!) but I caught up with May Ball convenor Chris Kunkler to see if I could tease any details out of him. The first thing that struck me about our conversation was just how enthusiastic he was about the night. If his excitement was anything to go by, this year will be bigger and better than ever, and last year was by no means a shabby do. The headline act is Duke Dumont (of Need U (100%) and I Got U fame) and he’s supported by a wide range of artists. Chris commented: “I’d wager that he’s the biggest act we’ve had in the

Photo: Sammi McKee

Devini Pabari Events editor

last two years at least (for those of you who remember, last year’s was Mylo). “Duke Dumont was number one when we booked him last year, he’s been nominated for a Grammy, and we booked him in the knowledge that he was coming out with another single and it got to number one again.” The set will be slightly earlier than is the norm for headline acts – Duke will be playing from 22:30 to midnight. Chris explained that this was because it’s “St Andrews, everyone will be too drunk by midnight”. He continued: “Last year, the party was in the VIP tent. This year, I’m hoping because of Duke Dumont we’ll have everyone from the VIP sections, everyone from the classic section [together]. What was missing from last year was everyone just getting together at one point and packing out Kinkell Byre’s main space and getting excited about an act, and I’m really hoping that’s going to happen this time.” Apparently the classic ticket experienced has been vamped up by changing the layout of the main space. “It’s nothing too revolutionary, but it should be cool when it works out,” said Chris. For those of you with VIP tickets, you won’t be disappointed. An old-school-style hip hop set will keep you entertained and there’ll be a more mellow end to the evening with John Taney playing his guitar. The usual survivors’ breakfast will

The clear highlight will be the acts occur for those sober enough to take advantage of the bacon butties and sausage rolls! I asked Chris to talk me through the evening. He explained that the dinner ticket folks leave St Andrews to get to Kinkell for around 5 pm for a champagne and canapé reception. This will be followed by a dinner at 6 pm, although he refused to divulge the details on the food beyond saying: “The menu’s looking nice, I think it’s going to go down well, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise for the dinner guests.” Dinner guests will be treated to the sweet sounds of St Andrews Fusion, “a really good student jazz band” as they eat, before the tables are whisked away at 8 pm to make room for a dancefloor in the VIP tent. “At this point, they’ll be joined by the VIP guests who’ll also have a champagne reception... and then all hell will break loose,” he continued. May Ball is known for its fairground rides and Chris assured me that the staple three of La Bamba, the Scrambler and the dodgems would all be making appearances. Last year, the queues were sweetened (quite literally) by candyfloss, but there is no word

as yet on what freebies will be given to classic ticket holders. The usual food trucks will also be present, so be sure to bring enough cash for food as well as drinks. It seems to me however that the real action this year will be going on inside on the stages. The clear highlight for Chris will be the acts. He said: “One of the things I tried to do this year was with the music, trying to vary it up a bit. So we haven’t got many acts that are too alike. I think to a certain extent you can go through the year on a diet of deep house, which is nice, but every now and again with 2,000 guests there, some are going to want some songs that they can just sing along to. “In the main area we’ve got a rock and roll cover band, The Hurricanes. They went down really well at Opening Ball and got everyone swing dancing.” They’ll be followed by Alex Bryson, who is playing his last May Ball. “He’s been omnipresent at every ball for the past two years,” Chris laughed. Then it’s the turn of Duke Dumont, with perennial favourites Seedy Soundsystem rounding off the night. So how does it compare to last year? Well, all the ticket prices have been bumped up by £5, but at £45 for a standard ticket, it’s comparable to Grad Ball’s £40. If you’re keen for a night to wave goodbye to semester two, I’ll be seeing you at Kinkell Byre next Sunday!


24 Sabb diary

24 April 2014 • The Saint

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Sabb diary: Supporting the call for fair pay Each issue your sabbatical officers keep you up to date with the latest developments The sabbatical officers As you have no doubt heard by now, university staff across the UK, led by the University and College Union (UCU) are preparing to carry out a ‘marking boycott’ as part of an ongoing dispute about staff pay in higher and further education. This follows on from a number of day long strikes throughout this academic year. UCU negotiates nationally with the employers’ body, the Universities and Colleges Employers’ Association (UCEA) over pay and conditions for academic and research staff and for academic-related staff, so this is not a dispute directly with the University of St Andrews. The claim UCU submitted in 2013 addressed a number of areas of concern including pay, the erosion of job security and the entrenchment of inequality in the higher and further education sector. It asked for pay increases to be in line with inflation, measures to address the gender pay gap, and all staff paid hourly to be put on the national pay spine. The offer UCU received did not meet these requests, so its members (as well as those of Unison and

Unite) went out on a series of strikes, to show they were serious about negotiating on these important issues. The Students’ Representative Council (SRC) voted in favour of supporting the staff strikes back in November, citing the importance of our university community and the welfare and security of our staff as long-term reasons to deal with the potential short-term disruption of the one day strikes. We reiterated the importance of fair pay in the SRC last week when we debated the marking boycott. It was decided that as a student com-

As a student community, we still firmly believe in the principles of fair pay in higher education

munity, we still firmly believed in the principles of fair pay in higher education. However, students across the room at that meeting and across our town hold differing opinions about the appropriateness of the marking boycott as a means to an end. We are therefore instead focusing our efforts on pressuring the University to reflect on the ethics of the growing pay discrepancy, and on supporting individual students making their own representations to the University on the marking boycott, whether in support or not. Supporting this call for fair pay is important not just because we as students should care about our staff and wider community, but because it also directly affects postgraduate students, and post-docs who are just starting out as academics. The vast majority of the postgrads who work as our tutors and lab support staff are paid hourly instead of on a fixed contract and pay spine, and are also those most directly affected by the real terms pay cut created by not being paid in line with inflation. We hope that the marking boycott does not take place. It will affect

University of St Andrews staff on strike last October Scottish universities first because our exams and graduations are that much earlier than the rest of the UK, and will disproportionately affect St Andrews because of our high international student numbers. And we hope the marking boycott does not take place because UCEA recognises that it has to take the call for fair pay seriously.

This is our last sabb diary for The Saint (sad face) but you can read more from us on the sabb blog, which we promise to update! You can find it at http://yourunion. net/blogs/blog/sabb%20blog. The new sabbatical team take over on 1 July so look forward to new faces and big plans for next semester.

The views expressed in Sabb diary do not represent the views of The Saint. The Saint is not affiliated with the Students’ Association.


ARTS & CULTURE

Image: Maria Faciolince

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Editor: Ross Hamilton Sub-editors: Ruairidh Bowen, Marina Carnwath, Joseph Cunningham, Saeunn Gisladottir, Keegan Hudson, Stephanie Irwin, Joe Ives and Samantha Marcus


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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Father dead: Calvary review Laughs, life lessons and memorable characters abound in John Michael McDonagh’s black comedy F

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throughout the feature there’s barely a moment when Gleeson is not onscreen having a philosophical chat

Calvary Dir. John Michael McDonagh ****

Hence the film often feels like a stage play

Calvary is director John Michael McDonagh’s latest yarn of cynicism, black comedy and reflection on the nature of the human spirit. Set in rural Ireland, it has been crafted in much the same framework as McDonagh’s 2011 release The Guard, and this, unsurprisingly, turns out to be no bad thing. Like a spiritual sequel of sorts, Calvary delivers more of The Guard’s laughs and characters (Brendan Gleeson again takes the lead role), but at a largely enjoyable walking pace, giving us more time to reflect on the director’s flavoursome brand of pub philosophy. The film follows a not-quite ordinary week in the life of Father James (played by Brendan Gleeson). In a captivating opening scene we are both introduced to our lovable parishioner and warned of his fate. An unidentified victim of abuse makes a confession with a twist; telling the good father that he plans to murder him next Sunday in order to get his poetic revenge on the

Image: Lipsync Productions

Joe Ives

Kelly Reilly and Brendan Gleeson gaze out amid the spectacular Irish countryside in John Michael McDonagh’s new film, Calvary Catholic Church. From the off we’re lead to expect a typical ‘whodunnit’ (or in this case a ‘whosegonnadoit’) detective story. What we get is something entirely different. Instead of being taken on a priestly investigation of the local laity we are encouraged to sit back and immerse ourselves in the day-today life of our priestly protagonist.

This is the film’s greatest asset and at times its sole weakness. By giving us time to get to know the everyday world of the good Father we are witness to some intriguing (and often hilarious) characters and their opinions on life, death, and sin, via their conversations with the lovable priest. This unsurprisingly makes the movie very much a character

piece and, fortunately, everyone turns up: from the oddball writer to the gay atheist ex-policeman to the chronically depressed ex-banker. In the film’s 100-minute span we enjoy getting to know each of them intimately. This is done pretty much exclusively via the conversations they hold with Father James. Indeed,

with some local rogue. Hence the film often feels like a stage play; giving us no real feel of the world outside our priest’s little town and its pantomime characters. Nevertheless, a stellar script and equally brilliant performances (particularly noteworthy are Gleeson and Chris O’Dowd) ultimately give the piece a commendable amount of cinematic character. Calvary then, is best regarded a unique detective movie. It builds momentum towards its wellrounded conclusion as we build an understanding of our protagonist’s world, not as we develop an inkling of who the potential killer may be. Though, as good as it is, one will likely come away wishing slightly more ‘stuff’ could have happened in between the undeniably brilliant bouts of pub philosophy.

How I Met Your Mother finale disappoints TELEVISION

[SPOILERS] After nine seasons following Ted and his friends through their romantic misadventures in New York City, How I Met Your Mother drew to a close last month. The reaction to the finale was mixed, but the general consensus seems to be that the final episode undermined the entirety of the series’ story by sticking to the ending they had filmed back in 2006 when Ted’s kids still looked like kids. It is abundantly clear that Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, the show runners, simply did not prepare for the series to change as much as it did from the original concept. Sure, initially we were all on board, way back in series one, hoping that Ted and Robin would make it as a couple, despite their obvious incompatibility. Nine years on, however, that dead horse has been flogged beyond all necessity, filling the audience with dread at the prospect of another episode about Ted’s enduring love for Robin. When the mother finally made her entrance at the start of the ninth season, honestly it was wonderful. She was a decently written character, made all the more likeable by not having had nine years of diminishing returns on her distinctive characteristics (Lily, I’m looking at you). This too could account for Bays and Thomas sticking with an

Image: CBS

Marina Carnwath Television sub-editor

Was the long-running sitcom’s recently aired final episode a disservice to its fans? ending that more or less set fire to the legacy they had been building over almost a decade of solid programming; they simply did not expect the audience to take to the mother as ardently as they did. Perhaps they should have foreseen it, as by the ninth season it was hard not to feel slightly desperate for Ted to find happiness, predisposing one to like the mother. To watch her be killed off therefore, not two minutes after she and Ted met on screen, felt like being cheated out of a long promised treat. To watch her kids tell Ted basically to go and hook up with ‘Aunt Robin’, felt nothing short of treachery.

For the past six seasons, How I Met Your Mother has devoted itself to proving why Ted and Robin are unchangeably incompatible and therefore not worth shipping. Fair enough, this might have been a clever decoy, ensuring watchers never guessed the true end game, but really, to reunite them in the last two minutes of the series just stung of poor planning. Such a sense of dissatisfaction is heightened by the fact that the entirety of the final season was spent in the run up to Barney and Robin’s wedding. So yes, just to clarify, that is 23 episodes of will they, won’t they wedding drama, culminating in

a divorce, 10 minutes into the finale. Honestly it feels like the whole last season (maybe even the previous six seasons) just wasn’t worth watching if all the character development that gave it any pathos was simply an exercise in stalling before Ted and Robin could shack up. Again. Over that wedding weekend, both Barney and Ted made substantial decisions concerning their future; the former committing himself to Robin, and the latter finally letting her go. To see this growth discarded out of hand in favour of some twist Thomas and Bays thought was a good idea nine years ago does the audience a disservice. Really, though, the one getting the worst deal is the mother. Built up through the season, given her own history in How Your Mother Met Me, and billed as a series regular, she fulfilled the majority of what the audience had hoped she would be, namely being loving and appreciative of Ted’s quirks. Although How I Met Your Mother’s hallmark of flashbacks and forwards had revealed glimpses of Ted’s interac-

HIMYM and its viewers deserved better than this finale

tions with the mother after they met, that point of introduction was reserved for when the finale began drawing to a close. This was the moment at which we thought we were home and dry. But no. Two minutes after this culmination of a decade long search for ‘the one’, Ted’s voiceover mentions “when your mum got sick”, and the story jumps up to the present where he is narrating this to his children and they tell him to go and be with Robin. We never see Ted mourn the woman about whom this story is nominally being told and more importantly we, as viewers, never get to mourn her ourselves. Essentially, Bays and Thomas reduce the woman who should have been the pinnacle of Ted’s love life to a brood mare, giving him the children Robin can’t, before conveniently dropping off her perch. The legacy of this finale is to make the show completely different to the one you thought you were watching. Knowing how it ends makes Barney and Robin’s romance, the focus of the last three seasons, completely redundant and really removes the reason we should care about them at all. How I Met Your Mother and its viewers deserved better than this finale, which undermines all that we had come to root for. Retrospectively the title should have been different, to fit the story Bays and Thomas ultimately told, but How I Patiently Waited for Your Mother to Die So I Could Finally Be with Your Aunt Robin just doesn’t really roll off the tongue.


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The Saint • 24 April 2014

Editorial is dead, long live... Joseph Cunningham whips out every last St Andrews theatre cliche in order to review one last play S

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Joseph Cunningham Theatre sub-editor Probably mercifully for some, I am approaching the end of my time at St Andrews and thus the end of my time with student journalism. I couldn’t leave without reviewing just one more thing… complete with every cardinal sin, the mere mention of which should send all editors into shivers. From weak cliché to offsetting via wanton abuse of the semi-colon: I’ve seen and despaired over it all. It’s good to be a student critic.

ENRON Dir. Joseph Cunningham *****

As I walked into the theatre, I was amazed at how cavernous Venue 1 was...

could have been more of this to make him more believable. There are many sub-plots including a very funny one with the CFO Andy Fastow who hides the finances in Raptors which represent hidden files where the money is hidden in. Much has been made of the ‘dancing velociraptors’ in their publicity material and the audience thought they were amazing. They could have been bad; but they were very good. T h e acting was

As I walked into the theatre, I was amazed at how cavernous Venue 1 was. Venue 1 is where acoustics go to die. I was not looking forward to ear-straining. But the audience was left surprised and astounded. The floor was filled with three people wearing ears and glasses and carrying sticks to represent the blind mice which were supposed to be the board of the company. Such was my entrance to Joseph

excellent. B a x t e r Gaston as Jeffrey Skilling was so good that I almost thought he was Skilling Everyone knew their lines well; and they stood in the right places all the time. The audience thought that they could be louder, though, because Venue 1 is so big and it is where acoustics go to die. But volume aside everyone was very good and my favourite. The performance was done in promenade which meant the audi-

Cunningham’s ENRON; and I was not to be disappointed. I don’t usually like big plays, and plays that involve walking, but I was surprised by the direction; and acting, and lighting; and sound. The plot is about Jeffrey Skilling, the CEO of ENRON who rises to the top of the company, and commits fraud that makes the company fail. He has a sort-of relationship with Claudia Roe but I thought there

ence had to walk around and see scenes in different places which was novel. This worked very well apart from the times when I couldn’t see. I thought that the scenes that were off to the side should have been on stage with the other scenes so I could see everything. It meant that some people got different experiences to other people. This is good but the audience would prefer to see it the same as everyone. The tech was excellent. The

An absolute must-see, even though the run is finished... lighting was interesting it reflected what was going on on-stage, and emphasised it. This is everything student theatre should be because it was the best thing I have seen in St Andrews and I have seen upwards of three plays. ENRON is an absolute must-see, even though the run is finished. I was left thinking about the show; and it was well worth the price of a ticket.

Six of the best: summer shows to look out for 1. Game of Thrones Assuming that you’re not living under a rock and thus not already watching it, the TV adaptation of George RR Martin’s novels has just returned for a fourth season. The beautiful writing and production make it about as good as television gets. If this season follows the same pattern as the preceding three, expect lengthy brothel scenes, winter not to come, and everybody but Sansa to die (I haven’t read the books so no spoiler panics here). 2. Orphan Black This BBC America production is about to enter its second season later this month. It follows a young woman who

discovers she has clones. Sure, it sounds ridiculous, but if you just go with it it’s a hugely entertaining little thriller. It also contains a pretty remarkable performance from Tatiana Maslany who plays every last clone. 3. The Newsroom Entering its third and final series, this Aaron Sorkin written drama should go out strongly. Its second season was a big improvement on the first, which had problems with undeveloped characters and some borderline embarrassing plots, which makes one hopeful that the upward trajectory will continue. Its gimmick, that the plot each week revolves around real news events from the past couple of years (e.g. Bin Laden’s capture), serves it well. Even at its worst, it’s still a totally gripping

Image: FX

Marina Carnwath

Martin Freeman sits atop a washing machine in the mew television adaptation of the Coen brothers’ black classic comedy, Fargo show which probably deserves a couple more seasons than it’s getting.

Image: BBC America

4. Fargo

Tatiana Maslany stars as one of many, many clones in BBC America’s Orphan Black

This new TV adaptation of the classic Coen brothers’ film starring Martin Freeman has already started showing. So far only one episode has been aired but the general consensus seems to be favourable. Fans of the film might get more out of it, having something to compare it to, but newcomers shouldn’t be put off by this. Everyone should really watch the film though. Just because.

5. Pretty Little Liars

6. Crossbones

This one’s a bit of a time filler, honestly. Teenage girls in sometimes hilariously inappropriate clothes are stalked by a mysterious figure known as ‘A’. After four seasons, however, the mystery is wearing pretty thin and the plot twists are becoming really bizarre (anyone remember the singing parrot providing a crucial clue last season?), but if you’ve got time to burn this summer, you could do worse.

One of the more promising looking new series of the summer, Crossbones is a pirate tale set in the 1700s. It follows Blackbeard’s adventures on the high seas, which all sounds quite exciting I guess. John Malkovich plays the titular pirate which, having a relatively good record at choosing good productions, bodes well for the 13 episode first season. And then there’s the World Cup too, if that’s your sort of thing.


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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Image: Scottish Fisheries Museum

On The Rocks: Something smells fishy...

Saeunn Gisladottir Film sub-editor On the evening of 7 April as part of the On The Rocks festival, a third year history student Lauren Hossack screened her short film The Herring Quines which looks at the role of women in Scottish fishing communities in the 19th and 20th centuries. During spring break when most students were happy to take a break from work and relax at home or abroad, Lauren found the time to make this film. The film was screened in a Scottish atmosphere with tradi-

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New Gods Withered Hand Slumberland Records Keegan Hudson Music sub-editor Dan Wilson, who has been operating under the stage name Withered Hand for

Caustic Love Paolo Nutini Atlantic Records Carla Jenkins I’ve walked the same streets that Paolo Nutini has walked all my life. He hails from Paisley, the first stop

tional music and wool-knit sweaters abounding at the Vic. Prior to the screening the audience could enjoy a small exhibition of old photographs, some of which had been used in the short film and others that were there to provide the audience with a better insight into the lives of the fishing women. Lauren told The Saint a bit more about the film:

find out more about how it all worked, beyond the stories I’d been told growing up. I was aware that fishing on the whole was not an industry that people are always really aware of – I feel the tendency is to generalise and assume that in the past, everyone in cities worked in factories and everyone in the Highlands was a farmer. In fact, fishing continues to be a hugely profitable industry for Scotland, despite its decline over recent years. Fishing is often seen to be a maledominated occupation, but historically women have played key roles in life in fishing communities. Their experiences tell a very different story to many narratives of women in the 19th and 20th centuries. The role of women in these communities is something that’s been touched on by academics but can be lost to the world beyond that, which is a real shame. The best thing about this project is that people are really interested in the topic once they’re aware of it, which makes it all the more worthwhile. If people are able to gain new knowledge from watching the film, then that’s fantastic.

the documentary? LH: I managed to interview women who were at one time connected to the fishing industry in various ways. They were all extremely willing to help and told some fantastic stories that they were happy for me to share with others. Archives were indispensable, as was the Scottish Fisheries Museum. TS: What should the audience take away from The Herring Quines? LH: That these women were amazing. Even just two generations ago, their lives were filled with hard work and uncertainty, but they took it all in their stride. TS: Have you any future plans for the film?

Lauren Hossack: Given that my roots lie in a fishing community, I wanted to

TS: How did you go about making

LH: As things stand, the screening is a one-off, though I hope to build on it by adding more interviews and getting closer to what everyday life would have been like. There’s an old fisher cottage set up near Fraserburgh, though unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to visit this time around.

nearly six years now, has always been running. Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, Wilson managed to escape the grasp of the evangelical religion in his teens and made a life for himself in London. Eventually moving back to his native Scotland in his mid-20s, Wilson decided only then to begin performing and writing. Adamant that his voice was too high-pitched to sing, he had always managed to stay away from music previously. It took an extremely emotional period in his life, the simultaneous death of his best friend and the birth of his first child, to prompt him to finally approach the medium he had long been running from at the ripe old age of 30. Since then, his musical endeavors have been amazingly successful. Wilson’s raw and emotive songwriting has seen him quickly make friends with talents from all around Fife and Scotland. He joined the legendary, locally based Fence Collective, lead by King Creosote, and his record label Fence Records, which is based in Anstruther. His list of collaborators reads like a

‘who’s-who’ of contemporary Scottish folk music: Frightened Rabbit, Belle and Sebastian, King Creosote, and members of Meursault all feature on his recently released LP, New Gods. Wilson takes a conventional approach to songwriting. Themes such as spirituality, love, loss and growing old are all pervasive in his writing. However ordinary these themes are, he still manages to make them sound remarkably touching with his meek but mature perspective. The first line of the entire LP: “Here I go, pigeon toed, to the featherweight fight!” is so full of self-doubt that I begin to understand how it took Wilson so long to begin writing music in the first place. Later, on Horseshoe, he wonders if his success in this boxing match is due to someone putting the title-object in his boxing glove. Thematically, the album is most interesting on the third track Love over Desire, where Wilson ponders the nature of marriage. He croons: “Am I just preprogrammed to do as I am told” as he

reflects on the prospect of beginning an adulterous affair. Genuine confessions of this nature are what make Withered Hand’s songwriting so impactful. This album hits mountain-top highs, and valley lows. His energy on tracks such as Black Tambourine, King of Hollywood, and Heart Heart all find Wilson playfully screaming, and are totally danceable. To counteract these moments of intensity, soft ballads are also sprinkled through the album. Particular highlights include: California and Between True Love and Ruin, on which Wilson incorporates some beautiful trumpet playing. It is almost unbelievable that an album as well crafted and affecting as this was written by someone who hadn’t picked up an instrument until the age of 30. New Gods is an instantly loveable collection of songs, especially for those who are lyrically inclined. Dan Wilson’s success and his monumental achievement that is this album is a testament to the old adage: “It is never too late to be what you might have been”.

on my train. We get the same subway, where he met my friend and drew a Mexican man on the back of her physics jotter in fourth year. We frequent the same Glasgow clubs, we eat at the same Italian restaurant on Dukes Street, and he parked in the same car park as my mother when he picked up his cousins from my school one day a few years back. Like everyone else who comes from Glasgow, I feel like Paolo and I are just a few steps away from each other, separated by those six degrees that everyone is so familiar with. He is everyone’s cousin, everyone’s sister’s friend’s boyfriend, everyone’s first kiss, and everyone’s best friend. But then you type his name into Google. Caustic Love is set to be in the top 10 biggest selling albums of 2014, having sold 59,000 copies since its release on Monday. He’s already sold a ballpark figure of 3.3 million albums. The truth slowly sinks in

that although you may have eaten your fish supper at his dad’s chippy the other night, the chances of him walking in to get a cheeky fritter and join you with a cup of tea are slim to none. He’s on a completely different plane to us mere human beings. My advice to everyone in my position, feeling downhearted that success has stolen yet another one of our own away from us, would be to put on Caustic Love. It’s the same Paolo that has always filled our living rooms and sunny terraces, just with five years of rejuvenation under his belt. We shouldn’t be resentful – and we all know that deep down, we’re not, not really – because Paolo is more with us than he has ever been in this latest release. Caustic Love is the five-year amalgamation of what a Glasgow/Paisley upbringing will give to a person. We are proud to have a claim to this artist who is rising like the beings he depicts in ‘Iron

Sky’. Caustic Love is an embellished Paolo. It seems that the five-year break has given him a new outlook on life that we haven’t heard of in his previous albums, and the experiences he has diverged into in these past years are gleaming through. The album has more grit, more passion and more extremity than its predecessors, and whilst Paolo still croons about his girls and his hips like he always had before, something is different. Maybe it’s the splices of dialogue we hear in Superfly and the aforementioned Iron Sky; maybe it’s the subjects of unwanted pregnancy and oppression and restlessness; and maybe it’s the inclusion of parts of the luxuries we all hope he is enjoying in Fashion. Although our Paolo always comes back – Better Man, Cherry Blossom – it’s safe to say that Paolo entered those five years a teenager and came out a man… amalgamated into the

The Saint: Why did you make this film?

The Saint playlist

Lana Del Ray – West Coast Hate her or love her, Lana is back. Her newest single is an ode to the west coast. Listen as she aptly incorporates some West-side 90s hip-hop synths! Paolo Nutuni – Iron Sky Scotland’s beloved soulful singersongwriter is back with his new LP Caustic Love, reviewed below. Check out this powerful album highlight. Girl Talk and Freeway ft. Waka Flocka Flame – Tolerated Listen to the famous musicmasher team up with Philly rapper Freeway and Waka Flocka Flame. The theatrical nature of Girl Talk’s beat really complements the pure aggression of Freeway and Flocka. Be sure to pay attention to hear Flocka diss Rick Ross too.

Craft Spells – Breaking the Angle Against the Tide Back from a three-year long hiatus, Craft Spells return with this 80s-inspired jangler. Upbeat and playful, it’s a perfect song for this warm spring weather. burning hit of Iron Sky. It’s the sort of song that Bridget Jones would have put on before she ran to Colin Firth in her pants through the snow. Caustic Love isn’t without flaws – see Bus Talk (Interlude) if you don’t believe me – but its achievements are so much more all encompassing than the unsettling feeling of a whole ‘new’ Paolo. He’s the same guy – he’s just finally able to tap into the sticky subjects that make and break so many others. Paolo, with Caustic Love, has finally solidified himself in the position of the gem of Scotland, and we will march alongside him into the bowels of Glasgow with this album as our anthem.


The Saint • 24 April 2014

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The Saint book club: summer edition LITERATURE Samantha Marcus Literature sub-editor Unsure of your summer employment or travel plans? No need to fear, we have a list of our top recommended texts for your post-revision pleasure reading. With no more course readers, and the end of JSTOR and SAULCAT searches, here are the best books to sink your teeth into during this summer holiday:

Gibney reveals all of the delights and horrors of working in the high stress atmosphere of a top kitchen. Written in the second-person, Gibney gives a detailed account of the various ins and outs of the kitchen, from the etiquette among the opening sous chefs and the prep-cooks to the floor plans and knife kits of a real restaurant. Critics have hailed the novel as a true piece of work, both intriguing and captivating while giving an accurate view into the world of chefs ‘as told from the trenches’.

to tears. An unexpected coupling of the most unconventional form, the novel details the six-month relationship between the eclectic Lou and Will, a wheelchair bound ex-businessman. The friendship between the couple reflects the human condition wonderfully, with all the ups and downs of reality, and shows the wide spectrum of human emotion in a quiet tourist town in England. Stick through until the end, as the journey of the characters will shock you and leave you wanting more (and potentially feeling very weepy).

2. Jojo Moyes, The Girl You Left Behind Set in 1916 France, an impressionist painting of a soldier’s wife draws the attention of the German Kommandant controlling a sleepy border town in the midst of the First World War. A century later, the same portrait hangs in the home of a young widow, unaware of it’s true value. The Girl You Left Behind tells the story of two women separated by time, who share a determination to persevere in troubling circumstances. Tissue warning: this novel might induce tears, read with caution in public spaces. 1. Michael Gibney, Sous Chef

3. Jojo Moyes, Me Before You

Ever wonder if life behind the counter was for you? Chef Michael

Another hit from author Jojo Moyes, Me Before You genuinely brought me

Me Before You literally brought me to tears 4. Daisy Goodwin, The American Heiress Riding on the coattails of the revival of Gilded Age literature a lá Gatsby, The American Heiress follows the journey of Newport socialite Cora Cash to the exclusive inner circle of English society in search of the one thing her money cannot buy in America, a title. With a sharp wit and

romantic notions of marriage, Cora is thrust into the calculated and tightlipped world of English aristocracy. After a fast-tracked courtship and engagement, Cora is suddenly the Duchess of Wareham and bidding farewell to her lively life in America while struggling to adjust to English society women plotting against her marriage. The American Heiress is both hilarious and adrenaline-filled with plot twists that keep you on your toes. 5. Karen Russell, Sleep Donation A finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, Russell uses her imagination and talent to create the world of Sleep Donation, set in a dystopic society in which an insomnia epidemic has ruined the lives of thousands of Americans. The solution to the epidemic? A questionable organisation, Slumber Corps, whose wealthy and charismatic founders may not be as magnanimous as they seem, coercing healthy sleepers into donating sleep to victims. Hailed as one of the top fictions released this spring with a solid storyline and fascinating characters, Sleep Donation will be keeping us awake into the early morning hours reading. Got any suggestions for our next book club? Tweet us @saint-arts.

Do games pack a greater emotional punch? G

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Nearly everyone who plays games experiences moments that will stay with them for a lifetime. These precious gems of joy, genius, anger or heartbreak give our medium its character, a character that is highly personal, and arguably unique, in nature. What follows is not a banal ‘Look at how good video games are!’ piece, but rather a theory explaining gaming’s unequalled power over our hearts. Consider the times when you have recollected great moments in TV, film, and literature. No doubt they have normally gone something like this: ‘Remember that awesome Adventure Time episode where Finn and Jake build a pillow fort?’ ‘You gotta love that scene in Avengers when Iron Man gently mocks Bruce Banner’ ‘Did you see who was gruesomely murdered in Game of Thrones this week?!’ Each of these recollections is about someone else, another agent’s story. There is a separation between you and the events transpiring on screen, or emanating from the page. In contrast, video games get rid of this degree of separation by putting you in the driving seat, or – as is more likely – in the hands of a sweaty controller. Perhaps this is why, when they

Image: Electronic Arts

Joe Ives Games sub-editor

Games such as Dead Space create a level of tension and immersion that’s impossible to recreate in any other medium, argues Joe Ives do it right, games can pack an unparalleled emotive punch. Instead of observing Woody Harrelson or Simon Pegg fight off hordes of zombies, in a game the responsibility comes down to you, and you alone, to get your way out. The fear, the excitement, the impending sense of doom is all yours. There’s no room for emotive dilution. Contrast this with other art forms where emotions are delivered vicariously via relations to the experiences of a separate character i.e. someone else. We

are not Pegg or Harrelson but we can, in a way, become Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke by controlling him through his nightmare. Equally the sense of achievement you feel when, say, completing that final mission, or getting past 11 points on Flappy Bird, is elevated by one simple fact: you did it. Conversely though we can will our onscreen, or in-ink heroes and heroines to victory, and enjoy it when it comes (or despair when it does not), it can never be ours. Indeed as an equal number of

soothsayers and dodgey motivational tapes have proclaimed: ‘The more you put in, the more you get out.’ The passivity of other mediums also serves to limit their emotive power relative to video games. When you sit down to watch a movie or read a book you are enveloping yourself in someone else’s tale. Yes you can personalise that tale by making your own inferences about its characters and meaning, but unless you have written the narrative yourself you ultimately have no control over where

it goes. In essence you are a passenger. In contrast even the most rigidly structured games force us to carve our own, personal, routes. For example the campaign in Call of Duty is often described as being ‘on rails’ due to the fact that players must proceed through confined levels and carry out linear, pre-programmed missions. Still even here we get to make decisions: What weapon should I use to eliminate those enemies? How often should I take cover? Is this the right place to toss a flash bang? Though few, the choices given to us in one mission of CoD infinitely outnumber all those offered in the collective history of TV, film, and literature. It is unsurprising then, that some of the greatest moments in modern entertainment are ones we make ourselves in games. Just think about your most epic Grand Theft Auto Rampage or Zelda adventure. Each of these is made special by the free will being exerted. If you couldn’t control a crazed, heavily armed, Canadian in downtown LA then I doubt you’d be having anywhere near as much fun reading about it. In essence video games are so powerful because they depend on you. If you don’t pick up that controller no one is getting out of that Necromorph-infested spaceship alive, no one is going to ‘Catch ‘Em All’, and most importantly, no one is going to tell Cristiano Ronaldo to deliver a personal, humiliating, 5-0 defeat to one of your best mates and fiercest rivals.


30 Arts & Culture

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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Saints on the street: spring edition S

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Stephanie Irwin Style sub-editor As a street style photographer, my job involves scoping out students that stand out from the Barbour-clad crowd. These students each possess a tailored individuality to their look, which makes them catch my eye. Bright colours, well cut pieces and standout accessories are what ultimately make me stop and ask for a picture. The Saint’s new feature, ‘Saints on the Street’, will consist of exclusive pictures and a brief blurb on why their style works – and how to achieve it. 1. The bright Bell Street girls (top left) Why it works: Their bright coats are not only adorable, but they are also classic, well-cut pieces. These girls paired their coats appropriately—the knee high socks being the highlight. How to: Pair the bright coat with neutral leg coverings—oatmeal or black being great colour options. Neutral leg coverings: The bright Bell Street girls

Coloured scarf under grey jacket: Art of layering

Cute and quirky vibe: The throwback Taste girl

2. The Bohemian Buchanan girl (bottom left)

3. The floral Market Street girl (below middle)

4. Grey coat on Market Street (top middle)

5. Classic prep (bottom right)

Sainsbury’s

6. The throwback Taste girl (top right)

Why it works: The thigh slit maxi skirt is an easy way to achieve a bohemian look. Her well paired jean jacket, simple accessories and biker boots make the ensemble appear effortless. Consider me jealous.

Why it works: Although her bold skirt is beautiful, it could easily run the risk of appearing costume-y. Since she paired the skirt with simple black items and lace up boots, she toned down the look.

Why it works: He has mastered the art of layering through tucking his coloured scarf under the grey jacket. The tailored pants and lace-ups keep the look classy without appearing overly formal.

Why it works: The long cut of his coat suits his lean frame. The coat’s loose cut makes the outfit more casual, and complements the tighter fitting shirt. The tan pants and shoes also coordinate with the blue shirt and coat.

Why it works: The cape and bowler hat are eye-catching, and her striped blouse is appropriate for her both cute and quirky vibe. The jeans and black boots keep the rest of the outfit simple.

How to: Travel to a vintage shop to find a lust worthy denim jacket. Pair it with a simple top and a thigh slit skirt. Don’t be afraid to choose any colour.

How to: Find a bold skirt to make the central focus. Pair the skirt with monochrome pieces and a jacket to tone down the skirt’s bold shape.

How to: Tie a coloured scarf under a double-breasted coat in a neutral colour. Keep the rest of the outfit simple with brown leather accessories.

How to: Achieving this style is based on fit. Pair a loose coat with a tighter shirt. Keep each item simple so the colours can speak for themselves.

How to: To keep the cape from looking clownish, choose a cape in a neutral colour, but don’t be afraid to don a brighter hat.

All Images: Stephanie Irwin

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Thigh slit maxi skirt: The Bohemian Buchanan Girl

Bold skirt nicely paired: The f loral Market Street girl

Long cut, loose coat and tighter shirt: Classic Prep


Arts & Culture 31

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The Saint • 24 April 2014

ART&DESIGN Ruairidh Bowen Art & Design sub-editor Do drag queens, once considered tacky, offensive, or just plain wrong, deserve to be considered artists? Like all art forms, drag has developed to a higher level of form, particularly in the past 20 years. Gone are the days of unattractive men with bad makeup and ill-fitting dresses; professional queens now resemble supermodels, pop stars and quite often real women (just look at Courtney Act). Drag is a high performance art, and should be considered as such. It combines fashion, bodily transforma-

Drag is a high performance art, and should be considered as such tion, and complex facial reconstruction to create an aesthetic of a gender. This is mixed with performance, music, sometimes dance, and quite often, conceptual ideas or shock tactics to create a rounded persona. I should

note that within the term ‘drag’, I include the subcategories of drag kings, faux queens, gender-benders, and general club kids. The timing of this article is crucial, as a drag revolution is beginning across the world. Amazingly, this apparent ‘renaissance’ of drag culture can be attributed to a once cult reality television show: RuPaul’s Drag Race. The show is currently airing its sixth season, and is experiencing a sudden, but deserved, mainstream success. The man, or rather woman, behind the show, RuPaul, indeed the world’s most famous drag queen, has changed the face of the art form since her manifesto song Supermodel (You Better Work) back in 1992. The alumni of the reality show are now conquering the world, from power girl group DWV (who have amassed 40 million views on their YouTube songs), to potential Victoria’s Secret model Carmen Carrera and Broadway star Jinkx Monsoon. Last year, Occidental Collage in Los Angeles, revealed that they will now offer a course in RuPaul’s Drag Race, demonstrating the show’s remarkable impact on popular culture. This impact is now crossing the Atlantic, with British television executives vying to create a UK version of Drag Race, and a programme entitled Drag Queens of London beginning this month. It seems that now queens are a lucrative investment. Yet beyond television, the impact of Drag Race is im-

Image: Raphael Benros/Lightbox Creative

A neglected art form: the renaissance of drag

Inspired by RuPaul’s Drag Race, Ruairidh in drag as Rujazzle at this year’s Glitterball mense. The show has an army of devoted fans and has inspired thousands of amateur queens around the globe to slip into heels and a dress, including myself and dozens of my friends. But it is the message that RuPaul’s Drag Race promotes which is most significant. Unlike many ‘cut-throat’ reality shows, Drag Race values camaraderie, self-love, and above all, empowerment, which resonates with all members of the public, not just LGBT individuals. Drag had its first mainstream success in the UK during the 80s and early 90s, where camp humour and gay culture became accepted and popular with the public. It seems rather re-

markable that such figures as Danny La Rue, Cupid Stunt, Dame Edna, and Lily Savage were British television regulars and popular with the young and old in an era that, by today’s standards, was still backwards in terms of LGBT rights. Across in the states, RuPaul heralded the first wave of drag in the early 90s, which coincided with a period of increased liberal values (which has been repeated in Obama’s presidency). Ru’s pretty face and family-friendly persona helped propel him into the homes of all Americans, who found him less threatening than previous shock queens, such as Divine. Yet why is doing drag so offensive and controversial for so many people?

Heterosexual men may find crossdressing offensive, or should I say, confusing to their sexuality. For a man to be as beautiful as a women, or perhaps even more beautiful, is shocking, and many people struggle to accept challenges to gender roles and heteronormativity. Society loves to put people in defined boxes of male or female, but drag refuses to be categorised this way and blurs the gender lines. Furthermore, is there a stigma attached to women’s clothing? Women can freely wear supposedly ‘male’ items of clothing, yet when a man does the opposite, it is considered immoral. Drag queens empower femininity by empowering female clothing. Sadly, even some gay men dislike drag queens, arguing that they reinforce stereotypes and suggest that all gay men act in a feminine way. Ultimately, drag is about becoming a different persona, freed from the confines of society’s concepts of gender, class and sexuality. It is liberating for both the queen themselves and their supporters, who can be inspired by their charisma and nerve. For me, doing drag and becoming Rujazzle (with the Jazzle Sisters) is my main creative outlet, my escape, and my fascination. We are now in the second wave of drag domination, yet like all art forms, drag will continue to go through periods of fame, and then underground again. But for now, enjoy the extravaganza and go put on a pair of heels: it will make you feel invincible.

Navid Nuur’s ‘Renderender’ at the DCA Having non-artistic friends accompany me to a contemporary art exhibition always manages to fill me with dread, apprehension and guilt. It really shouldn’t bother me so much, yet soon after entering the gallery, the stock questions ensue: “What on earth is this stuff?”, “How is this art?” and “Why did you bring me here?”. Even I struggle to explain why two strands of string sellotaped to a coathanger is art. Without assuming intellectual superiority, I feel that many works of contemporary art contain ‘injokes’, references and challenges to the artistic canon, which only certain people will understand. I recall once in a gallery, my own mother dismissed Marcel Duchamp’s infamous ‘Fountain’, a work of monumental art historical importance and influence. The work is merely an upturned urinal, yet it poses questions on the role of an artist in a work (Duchamp did not in fact build the urinal) and the role of art (how ordinary objects can be elevated by their placement in a gallery). Duchamp is the father of so-called ‘conceptual art’, whereby the intention behind a work is valued over the process, materials and aesthetics of the artwork itself. A new exhibition has just opened at the Dundee Contemporary Arts, which may be one of the gallery’s most ‘conceptual’ in a long time. The exhibition, curiously titled ‘Renderender’ is showcasing the talent’s of Iranianborn, but Dutch living and working, artist Navid Nuur.

Image: Ruairidh Bowen

Ruairidh Bowen Art & Design sub-editor

Nuur’s artwork often uses mixed media to provoke an uncertain reaction in the viewer

With almost 30 works of art in just two galleries, I found it to be overwhelming at first, and I struggled to find cohesion and a sense of theme throughout. Yet, perhaps this was the point. There is a sense of childlike curiosity and playfulness to be found in the exhibition, with peek-holes, interactive artworks and seemingly magical objects. Nuur’s form of art values site specificity, and the artist has made alterations to the DCA gallery space to evoke his thought process. Holes have been cut in walls, doors have been stylised and dark tunnels have been created between the galleries, bringing connotations of a child’s den or a cave (perhaps a reference to Plato’s cave). The exhibition begins with a work of video editing, where Nuur has isolated the phrase ‘what I call’ across footage from many TED speeches and combined the clips together to create a repetitive film. With reflection on what is to come later in the exhibition, this initial work reminds us of the subjective nature of art, and how perceptions of reality and the world around differ between humans. In the first gallery, Nuur has meticulously sketched a grid of maps (which actually document the weather systems during the creation of the exhibition) on a wall using only the ash from matches, before depositing the empty boxes - 5,000 in total - on the floor below. But for what reason? Is he attempting to highlight the artistic process, and to show the lengths he has gone to to create the work? What further meaning can be ascertained from the work? Ultimately, this is the point: individual perception is crucial.

The artist seems to revel in transience and describes his art as a “module of thought…concerned with their brief existence and interconnectedness”. Moving into the darkened second gallery, it becomes apparent that Nuur seems to be fasciated by geological phenomena. He recreates geodes, stalactites, and cave formations using unexpected materials such as wood, polystyrene, and egg boxes. He plays with the viewer’s perceptions of an object, tricking the eye to believe an object is composed a certain way. With unattractive and absurd objects, Nuur makes connections between the earth and art, highlighting the impact the latter has on the former. His work ‘City Soil’ is a large upturned wheeliebin which contains the ashes of the rubbish resulting from the creation of the exhibition. Overall, the exhibition is enchanting and inventive, with artworks which are beautiful and suggestive, allowing the viewer to decide their significance. Nuur has sourced inspiration from Dada and Earth Art, bringing a fresh approach to conceptual art. Nuur’s ‘Renderender’ is on in Galleries 1 and 2 at the DCA until 15 June

Online this week The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Ross Hamilton took in the latest superhero sequel, but did the film live up to its spectacular billing?


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Editor: Andrew McQuillan Sub-editor: Andrew Williams @saint_sport

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From the editor

Red, white and trew The Clay Pigeon and Polo clubs disucss their recent ven-

most obvious sign that momentum is with them on the park, but it would be remiss to ignore the much more significant progress that Liverpool FC, the city itself and several families from Merseyside and beyond have seen in recent weeks and months. The most recent of the inquests into Hillsborough has been taking place. I hope, and I’m sure I speak for everyone, that those families get the justice that they deserve and some form of closure. The atmosphere at Anfield on the day of the 25th anniversary was one of raw emotion. Steven Gerrard, who lost a cousin on that horrible day in Sheffield, exhibited through his outpouring at the end of the match what it meant to the club. To win the league in this year of all years would be fitting. Liverpool’s rivals may decry their achievement; after all, the lack of European distractions have seen them play in a more zesty fashion than Manchester City and Chelsea. The benefit of having a striker who can score goals consistently has assisted them too; it is quite remarkable that Chelsea have maintained their challenge with this millstone. Whatever happens in England this year with regards to the league champions, it cannot be contended that for entertainment value and a potent backing story, Liverpool are the best team in the land and the most deserving too. 2014 is the best kind of year: a World Cup year. As I sweat it out in London this summer in the poorly ventilated office where I will be holed up for June and July, the FIFA sponsored “Greatest Show on Earth” ™ will be in full swing, providing ample opportunities for procrastination. While the quality of football is not necessarily on a par with the European Championships, every football fan enjoys the drama and excitement of it all. I will not fall into the trap of making a prediction (given my dubious track record) however I hope that it is more enjoyable than the largely tedious borefest that was South Africa 2010. I am a lucky charm however. 2008, 2010 and 2012 saw me in Spain to watch La Roja triumph and, as chance will have it, I will be in Madrid this year. If they do make it four in a row then I suspect this party might top the previous three. My successor Andrew Williams is a fine writer, though I do not expect him to eulogise Liverpool in quite the same way as I just have. I am sure he shall do a fine job in steering the sports section on to futue glories and I wish him all the best.

Andrew McQuillan

Emma Morrison Clay Pigeon Club Last weekend saw the Clay Pigeon Club make its second away trip of the semester, this time to the Hull University Spring Cup. After the success of the teams in Aberystwyth, stakes were high to excel at the renowned Pinewood Shooting grounds. Hull, on account of their partnership with one of the largest cartridge companies in the United Kingdom, are a big beast in the world of varsity clay shooting, so a visit to their home turf is one of the most auspicious and enjoyable events of the year and one at which the club have always done very well. Arriving on Humberside, we made our way to the ground. This was a great time for everyone to meet with old friends from other competing universities, namely the hosts ,Aberystwyth and LSE. St Andrews proved to be the largest team. There were with us three ladies teams and two teams of men. The weather was glorious, as we spend the day at the shooting ground in our new sponsored gilets. Conditions were perfect and as we moved round the stands, we started to get the feeling it was going to be a good day for St Andrews. We certainly did not disappoint! The ladies 1st team, again excelled, securing first place in the team flush and second place overall. Kiana

Hainsworth helped the team to victory and placed second overall individually. The men’s team also didn’t disappoint, with Jay McElroy, placing second overall individually and Frazer Watt placing third. After a successful day of shooting, the team headed to the Staff House at the University where they enjoyed a convivial and Bacchanalian meal with the other teams and received their medals. All the teams then moved onto the infamous Asylum at the Union, where everyone had a fantastic night to end the weekend! Yet again, the teams have gone from strength to strength and dominating the leaderboards at competitions is a trend we hope to maintain in the coming year. The next competition for the club will be the inaugural St Andrews Spring Cup, to be held on 26 April at Auchterhouse Country Sports, where we will be hosting several universities from around Scotland for a friendly competition. With a new team in charge of the club, we are looking forward to more success next year. Sarah Engstrand Polo Club This year, instead of the usual Strathtyrum Charity Polo Tournament, the University Polo Club (sponsored by EFG) has teamed up with the Clay Club to present a three-part event over two weekends - all benefiting Help for

Heroes. St Andrews’ best will go up against Stirling University for a free polo match on the beach on Easter Sunday, 20 April, and then the following Saturday there will be a charity clay shoot and an intimate fundraiser at the Balgove Steak Barn for 120 people. A staple of the St Andrews sporting and social scene has just got much bigger and better. We are delighted that both clubs are working together to create such a unique event centred around country sports. Our chosen charity, Help for Heroes, is a worthwhile cause and the various fundraising opportunities across the events will hopefully raise a great amount for a charity which does a fantastic amount of work for people who truly are heroes. Tickets for the ‘Reds, Whites and Trews’ - the Balgove event- are extremely limited, so keep an eye on the event page to make sure you don’t miss out. Golf City Taxis are doing £5 rides to the venue (book early) and we’ve provided the buses back. Each guest will get a glass of champagne on arrival, a barbecue dinner, half a bottle of wine, along with desert, live music, NYC DJ and plenty of other surprises. Buses will start taking people back to town around 10 pm, where we’ve gotten a special discount to the Vic to finish the night. The theme is country, so dust off your tweeds and wellies for one last night out before exams.

Photo: Wikimedia

Welcome to the final issue of this year’s instalment of The Saint. All “great” eras must come to an end, though that I doubt that my period in charge of the Sport section will go down in the ages. Much like Frank Sinatra once prophesised, I face the final curtain. No more chasing of copy, no more battles with InDesign or Photoshop and perhaps just a little less swearing, though I promise nothing on the last one. Moreover, I will miss the very rewarding experience I’ve enjoyed over the past year. From watching Hugh Grant throw an almighty tantrum, enjoying the high velocity pace of the gravy train known as the Alfred Dunhill Links Championship and working on some excellent features about Scottish football, it has been enjoyable every step of the way. I first started scribbling for this paper in 2012; it has been a vital part of my St Andrews experience. Over that time I’ve watched it become a high quality newspaper and news outlet. Several people who know who they are have truly revolutionised it; even though as a mere sub-editor and humble Sport editor who played only a minor part in that, it was an honour and indeed a pleasure. Another outfit, albeit a bit grander and a bit more storied, is undergoing a revolution of its own. While Liverpool have always won things since I started watching football they have never been a force; players like Nunez, Jan Kromkamp, Josemi and N’Gog were always likely to bring players like Carragher, Gerrard and Suarez down. Clubs can suffer peaks and troughs and trophy droughts but there was always something worse about Liverpool’s; the success of 2001 and 2005 are probably the highest of the few high points that the club has enjoyed since their last league championship win in 1990. It is enjoyable to watch their resurgence, particularly given that it is somewhat unexpected. I thought that Liverpool would be in a position to challenge in three or four seasons, not Brendan Rodgers’ second. He would probably concede, despite his occasional fondness of impersonating David Brent, that they are probably ahead of schedule. However, the insatiable and relentless play of Sterling, Sturridge and Suarez has ripped up those intentions. It is befitting a club with a history of fine players and excellent style that they are coming back to prominence in such a way. It is a fine squad and I hope that they win the league. The recent victory against Manchester City was perhaps the

Tally-ho!: the combined forces of Polo and Clay Pigeon will put on quite the show over the next few weekends in aid of chairty.


The Saint • 24 April 2014

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Sport 33

Commonwealth Games: Will Glasgow flourish? As a proud citizen of the city hosting the 2014 Commonwealth Games, their 20th installment, Andrew McQuillan asks if his hometown can manage to pull off its biggest ever show

Many will no doubt crack a wry smile as the national anthem is played at what is normally an inhospitable venue to that sort of thing other sports. Rugby has arguably suffered; when speaking to Kevin Ferrie on a feature about the Six Nations for The Saint last year, he lamented the dreadfully non-existent record of a state-educated Scotland international being produced from the country’s largest city. Provision for rugby is very much limited to those who don the striped ties and coloured blazers of the city’s private schools (though intensive exposure to egg chasing at St Aloysius College, my alma mater, had little effect on me). Even last season, when Glasgow Warriors were enjoying success both at home and abroad crowds were paltry in comparison to those at Ibrox or Celtic Park. If you looked from a car or train window and saw a sports field, it would often look like a sad old dog missing part of its ear. Even Celtic until fairly recently played on what their former captain Jackie McNamara described as a pretty poor facility at Barrowfield in the shadow of the stadium. Looking back, it is quite some-

thing to believe that a player as majestic as Kenny Dalglish honed his skills on such a basic pitch. The area around Barrowfield has been transformed, however. Quite simply because the Commonwealth Games is in town. The last time the Games visited Scotland, back in the 1980s, was such a disaster that it required the disgraced former owner of The Mirror, Robert Maxwell, to effectively bail it out. Glasgow 2014, however, has been on time and, indeed, on budget. Edinburgh’s most memorable contribution was the construction of a quite expensive toilet for members of the royal family which was never used, a fitting symbol of an unloved and roundly chaotic event. For 11 days football will be put to the side as 17 sports and 261 medal events take place from 23 July to 3 August. The opening ceremony, at Celtic Park, will see seventy nations from across the Commonwealth take part. The club’s founders, if they were still here, would no doubt be bemused that the Queen will be there to declare the Games open, while many will no doubt crack a wry smile as the National Anthem is played at what is normally an inhospitable venue to that sort of thing. The ceremony will thankfully not include the pulling down of Glasgow’s architecturally infamous Red Road Flats, something which was mooted then hastily taken off the agenda. The closing ceremony will take place at Hampden Park, which has also been modified into an athletics arena; as a result the semi-finals and final of the Scottish Cup and Scottish League Cup have been sent out to pastures new for a season.

The most disgruntled party are probably Hampden’s full time tenants, Queens Park, who have been dispatched to Airdrie of all places.

Hampden’s renovation has been given the thumbs up by Jessica Ennis-Hill, one of the stars of London 2012. Many feel that the games lack the star factor given that Ennis-Hill, amongst others, are not taking part in the competition. While it may limit the interest of the most casual watcher of athletics, it does give a chance for new stars to appear. Given the slightly more reasonable pricing structure I hope that the venues will not suffer as London did, where swathes of empty seats at venues created something of a bad impression. Returning to the controversy

around the opening ceremony and the demolition of the Red Road Flats, it is important to remember that tearing down and starting afresh is a vital aspect of these Games, so I could understand where the idea came from. Take the Sir Chris Hoy Velodrome for example. Built over wasteland across the road from Celtic Park, it is a sparkling modern facility which will provide ex-

cellent cycling facilities which are among the world’s best, as will the new national hockey centre and the new aquatics centre in Tollcross. In the west end of the city the new Scotstoun athletics arena will provide a training base for athletes, down at the Clyde the recently opened Hydro will host gymnastics while at Kelvingrove a new home for Scotland’s most successful sport, bowls, will be housed. The Hydro provides the city with yet another world class concert venue while Scotstoun provides a first class leisure centre for the local community, while it has also become a permanent home ground for Glasgow Warriors. The legacy of these games has been assured; at last the city has a sporting infrastructure it can be proud of and one worthy of its citizens. Beyond the sporting side, however, there is another important legacy for Glasgow. The city’s transport network has been improved. Train stations, particularly in the east, have been renovated while the city’s Scalextric-esque underground system has been given a fresh coat of paint. While it may not change the fact that it still runs in a circle, it has finally been dragged into the 21st century; a new Oyster card-style

Photo:Wikimedia Wikimedia Photo:

Glasgow is a sporting city. Ibrox, Hampden and Celtic Park are temples of football; they have played host to some of the biggest names from across the world and have each seen great displays of skill, competitiveness and athleticism over the years. If you mention Glasgow to someone who does not hail from the “dear green place” they are most likely to reply with some quip about the football rivalry which courses through the city’s veins like the Clyde does through its very heart. Indeed, Hampden hosted the largest crowd for a football match anywhere in the world, only to be beaten by Rio’s Maracana. It is somewhat ironic that in a country with what the media describe as an obesity pandemic on its doors that the main national pastime is watching eleven men engage in physcial activity at 3 pm on a Saturday afternoon. Football is vital to Glasgow. However, some would argue that this has been to the detriment of

The SSE Hydro in Glasgow will play host to the gymnastic and netball events during the 2014 Commonwealth Games this summer

system has been installed while the orange signage untouched since the 1970s has finally been updated. The M74 motorway has also been updated, making arrival by car in to the east end much easier. The athletes’ village is the jewel in the crown of the regeneration project; it will provide the particularly run down area of Dalmarnock with a new focus and I hope, affordable and well-built housing for those who live around it. While certain people feel that the vast majority of the investment is going into the east when there are other areas of the city in a similar plight, it is a start. I hope it’s an enduring legacy, however, much in the way that parts of Manchester have benefited from their 2002 experience with the Commonwealth Games. Manchester ’s tram network was expanded while Manchester City got a fresh new stadium in comparison to their old Maine Road. It is easy to knock Glasgow;

Billy Connolly once put in the most Glaswegian of terms, “F**k yes, I come from there” Can Glasgow flourish? Yes indeed some of my initial conversations at St Andrews were based on notions of the Glasgow kiss, the city’s culinary range being confined to a deep fried Mars bar (actually invented near Aberdeen) or a fish supper. Admittedly, aspects of Glasgow can irritate me greatly; the absurd notion that you have to support a football team because of your family’s religious background, the crimes against architecture that the city’s planners got away with in the 1960s, the absurd number of empty buses clogging up the streets and the occasional lack of civic self-belief. However, I hope that the Games will show that this is a vibrant city with fine Victorian architecture, a city that is home to wonderful art galleries, that here you can eat more than a slab of fried chocolate sludge but most importantly that this is a city that can pull off this sort of thing. After all, as one our most successful exports after ocean going liners, great footballers and Simple Minds, Billy Connolly once put in the most Glaswegian of terms, “F**k yes, I come from there”. Can Glasgow flourish? Yes indeed.


34 Sport

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24 April 2014 • The Saint

Andrew Williams Sports sub-editor As one heart-stopping, adrenalinepumping barnstorming show ends, another begins. Within a month, the Premier League Champions will be crowned. Will it be Liverpool, Manchester City or Chelsea? The chimes of ‘abide with me’ will ring around Wembley and we will have a new holder of the best cup competition in England. Can Arsene Wenger finally end his trophy drought? Then all eyes turn to Lisbon. The new Champions of Europe will be crowned on May 24th. Who will get the honour of holding the title of the very best, in not just Europe but arguably the world? Can Bayern Munich break another record and retain the title? Will Atletico secure the most unlikely of doubles? Or Real Madrid, will they at last break their hoodoo and achieve a mesmerising 10th European cup. Can Chelsea keep up their imperious recent record in Europe? Who knows? However, this all pales into insignificance when we look ahead to the summer. Over the Atlantic, Christ the Redeemer and the wonderful golden beaches of Copacabana are ready for a festival of football. The proud nation of Brazil is preparing itself to host what millions, even billions, of football fans across the world view as the pinnacle of the sport. A six-week competition that produces an unparalleled range of emotions; hope, trepidation, despair, delight, joy, relief, tension and finally ecstasy (England fans exempted), is on our doorstep. The World Cup, the holy grail of football, is coming around again. As always many will go into the tournament with unwavering belief. Spain, Germany, Argentina, Portugal, Belgium, Colombia and of course Brazil, to all varying extents, will fancy their chances. Inevitably, others will exceed expectations whilst England undoubtedly will let us down again. Some players will return home heroes having represented their flag with endeavour and pride. Others, well let’s just say they won’t be reading the papers on their early flight home.

How to tell though who are the true contenders rather than the pretenders who will flatter to deceive? I will try and offer some clarity on what we can all expect and so in danger of making a fool’s mistake and putting my predictions down on paper, here is my guide to the 2014 World Cup. I may as well get it over with now as you’ll all want to know what I think of England’s chances. In short, they are non-existent. In long, we are not as tactically sophisticated, individually skilled or quite simply as good as the rest. Yes, Liverpool and Southampton can provide players capable of playing some quick, intricate and incisive football yet debates around whether Adam Lallana or Danny Welbeck will start tell their own story. Neither of those players would get anywhere near the Spanish or German side. They are good, but not great. With a lot of luck and a bit more we might reach the semi-finals. Realistically, a group stage consisting of the Uruguayans and Italians should prove too much. At least we might beat Costa Rica. Belgium, Colombia and Uruguay are more of a serious threat though. All three combine a very good all round side with individual brilliance. As Premier League viewers we need no reminding of the brilliance of Luis Suarez and Eden Hazard. Colombia though will be missing star-striker Falcao. With Vincent Kompany, Thomas Vermaelen and Jan Vertonghen Belgium have the most solid defence plus a lot of power in central midfield which should prove them the most consistent of the three. However with a side that could, in theory, consist of five or six Premier League players the threat of burnout will be ever present. Uruguay have the experience having reached the Semi-finals, somewhat controversially, in South Africa four years ago and with Cavani and Suarez up front they will score goals. They will score a lot of goals. Yet, a fragile defence should see them warded off by the very best (of which England are not). Colombia are a tough one to call though. Missing Falcao is of course a blow but his form before his injury was

less than imperious and with Jackson Martinez of Porto a more than capable deputy, their lack of reliance on one player may help them. They have quality all over the pitch, notably with Freddy Guarin and James Rodriguez and should match up to anyone. They will also be used to the varying weather conditions that Brazil will offer. Don’t be surprised to see them do the best of these three. Unlikely to win it but a Semi-Final, maybe a final with some good fortune is certainly not out of reach. As the current holders and two-time World Champions, Spain will of course be up there as one of the bookmakers’

I may as well get it over with now as you’ll all want to know what I think of England’s chances. In short, they are non-existent favourites. However the past two years have cast doubt over the invincibility of tiki-taka football. Xavi, Iniesta and co. are definitely not a spent force but frailties have emerged in their style. Last year Bayern Munich put Barcelona away in the Champions League so emphatically that many thought the days of tiki-taka were gone forever. Although that is not the case, Atletico Madrid have also shown that with a balance of endurance and power the proponents of such a game-plan are there for the taking. That said, David Silva has been in scintillating form this year and Pedro provides much needed pace. With the addition of Diego Costa as not just a focal point, but a lethal focal point for

their attacks you underestimate Spain at your peril. There will always be questions marks over their defence however if you have hold of the ball, it is impossible to concede. The ability of the Madrid and Barcelona players to put aside their club differences and work together will also be questioned, but with this side chasing a place in the history books a fourth International tournament in a row would provide the perfect swansong for this group of pioneers. Come mid-July it is unlikely the streets of Spain will be filled by Tequila induced dancing, but another final reached is a real possibility. When it comes to Portugal and Argentina there is not really a lot to say. As a team, neither are as good as the very best but when you have Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi in your ranks, respectively, anything is possible. Common sense implies both these nations will not threaten but since when does either player care about normal logic. If either get to grips with the tournament, they will be difficult to stop. However, a less than flattering quarter final knockout awaits both of them. If I do end up eating humble pie on this one then so be it, it would have meant one of the greatest players of my generation lived up to his reputation on the biggest stage of all. Now it’s time for possibly the most anti-climactic, dull and ironically, predictable, prediction. The hosts have the tournament in the bag. I just cannot see anything but a carnival atmosphere engulfing the streets of Rio de Janeiro long into August. Home advantage will be a key factor, players undoubtedly spurred on by the vociferous noises bound to be created, despite the absence of the wonderful Vuvuzelas. Being naturally acclimatised should also play a role. Whether it’s coping with the perspiration in the jungle or not being fazed by the bustling streets of Sao Paulo, Neymar and co will be used to it. I still feel as though I am doing the Seleção a disservice. They are still a formidable football team. It is not a team rammed with big name stars as in past years; Neymar is the only ‘celebrity’ among them but that doesn’t mean they do not function as a cohesive unit. Two of Luiz Gustavo, Paulinho and Sandro provide the solid platform for the front players to wreak havoc whilst Thiago Silva is one of the best centre backs around. The Chelsea representatives of David Luiz and Oscar are occasionally unreliable, yet both are mercurial talents capable of winning a game of football at a stroke.

In Luiz Felipe Scolari they also have a manager who knows what it takes to win the world cup; in 2002 he guided the Brazilians to their fifth world cup and will be hoping to add to his already impressive CV. Although man for man Brazil are no way near the stand-out favourites, their impressive showing in last year’s Confederations cup should provide the rest with a stern warning. Of course there are plenty others who, as the cliché lovers among us would say, are “in with a shout”. The likes of France and the Netherlands are more likely to be whispering about their chances, though. The Asian contingent is unlikely to shine despite South Korea’s excellence at their home world cup eight years ago. However, I’d keep an eye out for the African teams. They excel playing uninhibited football and four years ago Ghana proved that is possible to ruffle the big boys. Ivory Coast have the bigger names but if I was going to offer one wildcard, which of course I will as this is my article, I’d say keep an eye out for Nigeria. Stephen Keshi has a group of young and hungry players who are prepared to go to the world’s end for him. The current African Cup of Nations’ holders don’t have the easiest group but getting results against Argentina, Bosnia and Herzegovina and Iran is very feasible. A semi-final for the Super Eagles would cap a very pleasing year for such a strewn country. In the subsequent eight weeks there will be more arguments about stadiums and criticisms of the short-sighted way in which the infrastructure for the world cup has been built. The threats of riots will increase and you’ll hear the words ‘police presence’ too often for your own sanity. Right up until the first match politics will get involved and no doubt try and damage our wonderful spectacle. Yet, at 9 pm (BST) on 12 June when Brazil kick off the tournament against Croatia this will all be forgotten. The festival of football will begin and we will immerse ourselves in such a potent mix of skill and passion. It will be intoxicating. My predictions may very well be wrong and knowing my betting history they most likely will be. Yet, in this concoction of unpredictability there are still a few certainties. All over the world tears will be shed, both of joy and despair. Relief, ecstasy and disappointment will consume us. Columns upon columns will be dedicated to the World Cup. It will take over our lives. And England will be knocked out. That is why we love it. Photo: Flixr/ Marco de Mojana

Photo: Wikimedia

Samba summer: World Cup 2014 preview


The Saint • 24 April 2014

thesaint-online.com

Sport 35

Tony Poole Rowing publicity officer On the second week of spring vacation 40 members from the Boat Club took to Tilburg, Netherlands to begin training before the Scottish and British Championships. Week long training provides the rowers with an intensified training schedule, which teaches discipline in terms of mental and physical capabilities. All four crews (senior men and women, and novice men and women) trained three times a day for a week straight in the beautiful TSR Vidar facilities. The course consisted of 3.5 km from end to end and the boathouse contained countless erg machines and several lifting platforms for our boat club members to train with. The senior women focused on fitness and technique, making the most of the accessible water time as they prepared for sprint season. They were very effective in progressing through race starts and holding higher ratings consistently. When the women were not on the water or performing S&C sessions, they were goal-setting for the upcoming SSRC, in which they hope to medal. The senior men had a similar training schedule with a larger emphasis on volume due to the upcoming Head

of the River Race in London. The VIII+ saw a great improvement in terms of set and slide control as most water sessions focused on a combination of timing drills and stroke-rate pieces. There were a few injuries sustained due to the intensive nature of training but team maintained cohesion and morale was high. Unfortunately, the men did not get to race on the Thames as the Head of the River was abandoned after the first two divisions went through due to poor river conditions. Eager to race again, they are looking forward to SSRC (April 26-27) and BUCS (May 3-5) to materialise their gains from tour. The novice crews improved as they managed to make the most of their enhanced water time. Both men and women had an opportunity to put their development to the test on Saturday 12 April during the Nithsdale Regatta, a 750m head-to-head course. The novice women put forth a IV+ and an VII+ for the event. The VIII+ showcased good rowing technique and composure, but was unable to overcome Strathclyde’s crew due to a mid-race technical problem. The IV+ experienced a similar result due to controversial lane management by the competition. The boat was forced to stop and alter its course in order to avoid a collision when it was cut-off

Photo: Boat Club

Dutch fun: rowers take up oars

by the opposing crew. Despite this illfated event, the novice women came away with a positive outlook towards the upcoming events. The story was different for the novice men, who won the VIII+ Novice category over St Andrew Boat Club after the latter were disqualified for

losing their line and causing a collision. At the start of the race, our seven seat’s oar was knocked out of the oarlock and had to be re-fastened before the crew could continue rowing. The novice men managed to cut the boat lengths from the St Andrew boat but did not manage take the lead back due

to the short length of the course. The race was contested and won. Overall the novice men were happy with their performance, and are keen to prove themselves on water again. The Boat Club are now looking ahead to BUCS and SSRC races, and are hoping for success in those.

Sweet victory: men’s hockey team triumphs Andrew Williams Sports sub-editor Kelburne 3-3 St Andrew’s Men’s University Hockey 1st XI (St. Andrews win 5-4 on sudden death penalty flicks) This was one of those performances that will be remembered for a long time, the result even longer. The 13 played as a well-drilled, united and, more importantly, well-skilled outfit. After all, anything other than exceptional wouldn’t have been enough. Kelburne, winners of division one and a member of the European Hockey League had come down to ‘The Fortress’ to take on the men’s 1st XI in the Scottish cup. Seeing as St Andrews didn’t even win division two finishing third, this should have been a mere formality. After 10 minutes, it seemed that it would be the case. Kelburne were very adept at winning short corners and only goalkeeper James Bowler could keep the score at 0-0. However, after a quarter of an hour even his resistance was broken and it looked like the start of a procession. Despite some promising moves, with forwards Ben Jamieson, Robert Sellar and Luke Mitchinson causing Kelburne’s defence all sorts of problems whenever they went forward, they didn’t have the ball enough to pose a constant threat. Just before half-time the 40 spectators thought the game was gone. A second goal by Kelburne was a heartbreaker; they were far too technically skilled and physically fit to let a university team back into the game. Not to mention the fact that two GB representatives, Mark Ralph and Michael Christie were in their ranks. Whatever was said at half-

time, if anything, proved critical. St Andrews looked a side transformed. Maximilian Schulz, or ‘wedding’ as he is known, dominated the midfield alongside auxiliary centre back Dan Maunder and suddenly the three forwards had a constant supply line. Sellar, and Mitchinson especially, started to wreak havoc down the wings and within five minutes of the restart the game was 2-1. Mitchinson’s shot from distance finally got turned in my Sellar after a game of pinball in the D. This goal provided a wake-up call for Kelburne and their intensity doubled. However, a defence consisting of club president Mike Thomson, leavers Dodes Page and James Miles plus the new captain Dan Maunder was absolutely solid. Kelburne got no change out of them; they provided an almost impassable wall. And if they did, goalkeeper James Bowler was once again on hand to thwart any opposition who dare try and score. I lost count of the number of saves he made, but it was well into double figures. This wasn’t to be a plucky, dignified loss though. St Andrews wanted the win and half-way through the second half the scores were level. Mitchinson once again beat his man on the left to cross for Sellar who completed the mere formality of turning the ball in to the back of the net. It was 2-2 and the smell of blood was in the air. Kelburne looked rattled, unable to fizz the ball about at their usual pace due to the heavy sanding of the pitch and whenever they tried going over the top, the ever present Thomson was there to cut it out. Tempers began to flare as both sides didn’t want to lose. The St Andrews boys had worked so hard to get back into it, the

Kelburne lads’ pride was on the line. However, with just over ten minutes to play a wonderful piece of individual skill looked to have decided the game. Picking the ball up almost innocuously on the half-way line, Mitchinson, a contender for man-of-the-match once again started on a slaloming run and after beating three men, admittedly with a slice of fortune on the way, buried the ball in the near post. 3-2; that was it. Half an

The 13 played as a well-drilled, united and, more importantly, well-skilled outfit. After all, anything other than exceptional wouldn’t have been enough hour of top-class of hockey had turned the game around, a comeback akin to Liverpool’s in Istanbul in 2005. But no. Kelburne rallied and with five minutes remaining scored an equaliser. It was a blow but heads stayed up and Jamieson still had a couple of chances to win it but was denied by some sensational goalkeeping on the Kilburne side. After

seventy-minutes it was 3-3, penalty flicks were called for. The five men were chosen, it was now a matter of who could hold their nerve. Jamieson took the first one for St Andrews and finished confidently whilst Mitchinson scuffed his but luckily found the backboard. Captain Maunder scored the third after Kelburne had scored their first two. After goal-keeper Bowler superbly saved Kelburne’s third the next two were both slotted home exquisitely. It came down to the final flick. Clubpresident Thomson stepped up looking to shoulder the burden and help the team into the next round. The Kelburne keeper’ however guessed correctly and kept his team in it. This was when heads could have easily gone down; being the second time they were unable to see out the game versus superior opposition. Instead, they rallied again. Jamieson once again slotted home in the sudden death and then Kelburne missed. A flick pulled horribly wide by none other than Ralph. There was a moment’s hesitation; the reality didn’t quite kick in straight away. Then, an almighty roar of delight and relief went up among the players. Sheer, irrepressible joy was the overriding feeling. Each player strode off the pitch like a champion. Rightly so, this was a performance out of the top drawer, one which will forever be recalled in the annals of the men’s hockey club for years to come. The petition to ask for a open top bus parade down Market Street, the freedom of the town and subsidised alcohol in local pubs is being drafted as you read this article, arguably the only fitting reward for this most heroic of sporting endeavours. The celebrations no doubt contin-

ued well into the night, but it was a day to be savoured; a great day for the club that won’t be forgotten for a long time. Although slightly in jest, the club’s Twitter account tweeted after the game “to clarify, Forest Green have just beaten Chelsea”. This wasn’t a giant killing on quite the same scale, but nonetheless it was a miraculous result. And don’t get me wrong, it was more than deserved.

Online this week Clubs and sponsorship Andrew McQuillan asks how difficult it is for sports clubs to get sponsorship, going on to investigate practical ways in which clubs can try and get sponsors. Best season in a long time Director of Rugby, David Ross, reports on the 1st XV’s recent playoff matches and also looks back on what has been one of the most successful seasons in many years. Cheerleading: Club of the week The Cheerleading club tell us all about the world of pom poms in our online club of the week feature in which the reflect on a good year for the club. Down to the wire Messrs Williams and McQuillan examine the latest stories from the final weeeks of the Barclays Premier League.


S PORT thesaint-online.com/sport

Back for the second year running after a brief and rather unfortunate hiatus, Fight Night, organised and hosted by the University of St Andrews Boxing Club, was back with a bang on the evening of 17 April. Venue 1 of the Union was once again transformed into a boxing arena with stadium seating surrounding the ring where many of the finest fighting fists from the Auld Grey Toon and beyond would do battle for a range of prizes. Costing £8 and with seven fights hosted on the night, it was excellent value for an event which promised on its promotional material “blood, sweat and beers”. Speaking with Daniel Lechner, a member of the club’s organising committee and a key member of the team who organised the event told me beforehand to “expect a really high level of contest this year. A lot of people have been training very, very hard all year round for this one fight so this is big event for them and the club in general. In terms of the range of different weight and fight categories, we have quite a broad selection so hopefully those in the audience will see differing styles of boxing on show”. A near capacity crowd had gathered while the Union was positively bouncing with the beats put on by the DJs in the corner. The lights dimmed and the boxing announcer, a firm favourite from last time, took to the ring to welcome the first set of fighters. Niall Walsh and Thomas Guthrie provided a spirited opening to the evening; both team-mates from the University of Glasgow Boxing Club, this match was an exhibition due to the substantial weight difference between the two combatants. Walsh, a very aggressive fighter with a nuanced range of punches was deemed the winner by a round of applause from the audience, howver Guthrie can be proud of a battling performance in which he was often even with a fighter substantially heavier than him. Kirk Craigen of the Aberdeen University Boxing Club took on another Glaswegian representative, Sawir Khadr. The first two rounds were firmly in favour of Craigen. He had a particularly fierce approach, often leaving Khadr without an answer. He landed several big hits over the course of the fight, although he did not have it all his own way in the final round, when Khadr rallied, adding some spice to this heavy weight bout, almost having his opponent on the ropes during what was a spirited fightback, although it was ultimatley thwarted by Craigen’s resistance. The first two rounds probably guaranteed his triumph.

Home interest was sparked by Pascal Fliegner fighting Jack Cairns of Madison ABC. As the German entered the ring the crowd entered into some sort of ecstatic convulsion when greeting their hero, particularly a group who had brought with them a German flag to wave in his honour. Alas, it was not meant to be. Both fighters were quite evenly matched, with Cairns being somewhat flashy, attempting a turn Cruyff would have been proud of. The referee admonished him for such conduct, providing a reminder that despite the bloody nature of the game, an important undercurrent of respect flows through each contest regardless of level. It was an even fight although Cairns was able to land several big hits. A split decision was reached, and while Cairns may have won, Fliegner was hailed by the audience. During the interval, the chosen charity who will be benefitting from the event, Families First, gave a word of thanks. Based on South Street, they have done vital work for over ten years in supporting disadvantaged families from around St Andrews. The great white hope for the home crowd, Mark Smith was up next against Ablaykhan Beken of Aberdeen. Covered in hair akin to Wolverine of X-Men fame, Smith fought like him too. Beken was overawed. Smith was poetry in motion and was without question a well deserved victor. David Moulding of the St Andrews Boxing Club was the most convincing winner of the night, ferociously demolishing Mark McDonnell, the final Aberdeen fighter of the night. A well built chap, Moulding was simply put an absolute force, leaving McDonnell cast asunder by a series of particularly punishing punches. Presented with his medal with his father proudly standing beside him, it was a touching moment amid the blood and thunder of the event. The next match between Will Bond, once of St Andrews but now of the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst, and Stuart Campbell of the University of Dundee, was an exhibition on account of the large weight difference between the two. Campbell, despite fighting gallantly, was not much of a challenge for Bond. There is obviously talent there, however such a large weight difference was the deciding factor. The final match, which was also another exhibition was between the highly successful Hanna Carlsson of St Andrews and Gardner Moore of Heriot Watt. With the full backing of the home crowd, Carlsson was insatiable in her destruction of Moore, a clear winner even though it was only an exhibition. A fine event and a good night for St Andrews.

Photo: Raphael Benros

Andrew McQuillan Sports editor

@saint_sport

Photo: Raphael Benros

It’s a knockout: Fight Night 2014

Page 34

Photo: Raphael Benros

sport@thesaint-online.com

Andrew Williams previews the 2014 World Cup in Brazil

(Top) Gardner Moore, Heriot Watt, lands a left hander on Hanna Carlsson, St Andrews (Middle) Sawir Khadr, Glasgow, and Kirk Craigen, Aberdeen (Bottom) David Moulding, St Andrews, is declared victorious after his bout against Mark McDonnell, Aberdeen


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