Read this: A couple of muddy puddles and some bent old railings still glossy black.
Someone has gone
at them with a sledgehammer and now they look flimsy and crumpled. Further on a pink d-lock is clamped to a fence, looks like the d-lock used to be red, the fence is mesh, rusted
where
the
metal
joins.
The mesh is sagging in the middle, a fence post has moved in its foundations.
There’s a metal works reforming junk and crushing up old metal waste, cans, prams, trolleys, there’s loads of lumps of dross by the bins. It’s quite loud, but you can still hear the radio over the noise of machines. The grinding of metal on metal, sparks spraying. It smells, chemical, metallic sourness. A skip full of metal shavings. A large extraction pipe. Aside from the cranked up dentist noises
and the radio hum it’s pretty much dead. Keep moving, occasional tyre marks, large patched up chunks of ground, tarmac, concrete, mud, grass, slabs, cracked slabs, gum, glossy slick spills, vague floor markings pointing into empty yards and indicating places you can or can’t stop. Someone has painted over graffiti in a colour that’s not the same colour as the wall. A blotched brick wall, brick and white but the whites gone grey.
A small towel that has been backed over by a truck is mashed into some dirt, so has an orange carrier bag and some plastic webbing, the webbing is a darker orange colour than the bag. The
sky’s
pretty a
clear,
a
triple
through
a
A
of
pile
organised in
light
a
pile.
blue,
plane
has
left
track
that
cuts
faint
cloud
shape.
bricks, in A
a stack
that’s stack of
not just
pallets.
‘whats this then?’ ‘..... uh ..... um .....’
Scratches his chin, a
sort
of
quiet
rough wiry noise, ‘ I
.....
yeah,
don’t
what’s?
no.
know, ....’
looks over his shoulder at the tv in the corner of the room and trails off, some old repeat cooking show, chattering.
Elbow
nudges,
‘.....
what? ..... so what’s this?’ sighs and looked across, ‘..... anyone?’ Leans back on his chair, wooden, it’s balancing on two legs, a little groan as the pressure on the wood changes, he grips the table, steadies himself
‘..... well, ha ha ..... don’t look at me .....’
They are looking at him still ‘.... no ….
listen….well don’t look at me .... I just,
it’s not so much ..... ha ha now I am
laughing too.’ Elbows on the table, this
is getting serious, ‘Why you laughing?’
‘.... Uuuuh ..’ (eye
contact
meaning) ‘... ?’ ‘I wasn’t .... ok
I
was’
finished coffee, the cups back on the saucer, there’s a spill from when he over stirred it and a couple of stray sugar grains, brown ones ‘..... uh .... someone?’ Chair leans forward again, four legs, wood creak,
‘sshhhh
....
I
am trying to uh, uhhhhh ..... fuck, I just don’t want to be one of those people who starts giving opinions’ he shakes his head, smiling.
Some old repeat cooking show - ‘you’ve got
to really beat the air out of it ...’
‘Hmm .... well .....’ ‘oh yeah?’ More interested ‘go on?’ ‘Nah ....’
‘Ha
ha’
‘I thought we agreed we were gonna
look
at
this
sort
of
thing
…’
‘........ uhhh ....’ ‘..... anyone?’ ‘.... hhhmm….
what’s the ... oh I nearly had something then ….’
Two start to talk at the same time and then both politely stop to let the other one go.
‘Ha …’ Raising his eyebrows. ‘..... gaaa …’ ‘.... uummmm…..’
‘how much more have you written?’ ‘loads …’ breathe ‘it goes on and on’
‘... what about ……….. actually nah ….’
‘..... we’ll see if anything …..’ ‘.... anything what? .....’
‘you
know
those
people
with …..
opinions and
then
it’s just really ….. you know ….. a bit …..’
‘ha ha you know, maybe …. ?’
‘...... uuuuuhhhh ….. huh ... well it’s nothing, but it is something
but it’s not really anything is it ... its as much of something you need for it to not be nothing, but it basically isn’t anything’
‘... hmmmm ….. it’s like starting with an extreme limitation and then working your way out of it and trying to produce something from nothing and deliberately restricting yourself ...’
‘yeah
it’s
place
for
‘.... ‘.... make
not
really
the
opinions
….’
uummmm its
nice
to
be
…..’ able
something
into
something
‘you
already
said
to
small
bigger
…’
that
….’
‘..... it’s like making an adjustment to something normal to make it worth considering again …..’ ‘how much more did you say have you written in terms of pages?’
‘its pretty endless’ ‘consider what?’ ‘..... fuck …………’ ‘its nice to be able to make something that is also nothing’ ‘... ha ha … that’s bullshit’ ‘yeah i know …. ha ha ….…. I mean the good thing about it is that it’s not really got an agenda ... uhhh …. maybe, no ….’
‘...
it’s
that is the
just
everyone so
tired time
all …..
exhausted …. they don’t need more to
think
about
they need less…’
‘..... like …….. uuhhhh …... less is more ha ha ...’ ‘...
ha
….’
‘....
I
let
your brother read an earlier draft of this text ….. and ….. ha …….. he like ‘...... is
said
it
was
Samuel oh he
a
bit
Beckett…’
that’s
good,
good?
.....’
‘who? your brother …. ?’
‘... no Samuel Beckett ….’ ‘I think so .. uhhh ... people seem to like him …. he’s pretty solid I would have thought …. ha ha …..’ ‘I think people find it a bit confusing so they assume it must be good’ ‘think bit
is
that
first
enough
….’
‘yeah you get the point’ ‘yeah….’
‘.... what’s that then?... ‘... yeah…?’