get the support and help in learning how to focus, they can turn inward, shut down, or act out, since they don’t know how to deal with all the thoughts racing in their head. It might not be attention issues causing the problem, though. Often the problem kids have things going on in their lives of which the rest of the world has no clue. While this is a subject that hits home with me, I was motivated to write on it by a young man of whom I became aware recently. This kid is involved in our local little league baseball. He’s a good player, ability - wise; behaviorally, he’s a coaching nightmare. He has a history of confrontation and violence with other boys on his team. We had to have a board meeting to discuss his actions due to an incident resulting in another child being injured. Many parhave tinnitus; too many concussions have led to ringing in my ents see this young man as a threat to their children and want him ears. Some days it is worse than others. It’s loudest when there’s kicked out of little league. That would be the easiest solution, corno other sound. rect? Just get rid of the kid, problem solved. I think the ringing is a good representation of what goes on �ith I have to say I am part of a group that truly cares for the kids in our my mind. The random thoughts, over thinking, and hair-brained program. Everyone on the board took the time to discuss this boy schemes run amok when there’s no other and what may be causing the outbursts. A stimuli to keep me focused. Wifey dreads child of a single, working mother, the boy when I come home from mowing hay, beseems to lack a positive male figure in his ...even before the cause the tractor time gives plenty of oplife. On top of that, how many twelve year concussions, back to portunity for me to say; “Honey, I’ve been olds do any of us know that have, not can, childhood, my mind thinking ...” but have, to come home, alone, and fix their Even before the concussions, back to childown supper, do homework, and spend the has wandered. hood, my mind has wandered. My father was evening completely alone? It seems baseconstantly fussing at me to pay attention as ball is the only structured activity in this he tried to show me something at the shop; I child’s life and the only place where he My father was conwas working cattle and thinking of the horshas interaction with adult males. If this is stantly fussing at me es I would someday have of my own. Often in taken away from him, what will happen to class, I would be called on to answer a questo pay attention as him? While he has to realize there are contion when I was miles away, setting muskrat sequences for his actions, he also needs to he tried to show me traps or looking for arrowheads in a freshly see there are people who are there for him something at the shop; and truly care. I am proud of the folks on plowed field. I worked briefly for Head Start. My boss, our board, for after having the young man I was working cattle with a shake of her head, so many times told and his mother in to discuss the issues, evand thinking of the me if I were a child of that time, I would be eryone let them know that, no matter the on Ritalin, smile and walk away. I am guilty resulting disciplinary action, he was a part horses I would someof being in the middle of a conversation and of our little league and we all cared about day have of my own. completely forgetting about what I’m talking him. Several chose to become involved in because of a completely random and unrethis child’s life, working with his mother lated thought hijacking my train of thought. to get him counseling, offering to step up Often in class, I I guess this is why I relate to children, esand lead by example. After discussing with would be called on to pecially those struggling with the same or Wifey, I sent word through another board similar issues, so well. It seems us adults member to his mother that we would be answer a question too often forget what it’s like being a child. willing to bring him to our place and let when I was miles The world is so wide open and new for them, him spend time on the outfit with me, givso much stimuli, so little concentration to away, setting musking him something to do and a male with process it all. We expect them to, “Sit still, whom to talk. rat traps or looking pay attention, why aren’t you listening?”. It’s easy to do these things for kids we for arrowheads in a I am guilty, myself. As adults, we need to know and already have some type of conslow down the pace of life, and give children nection. Other than seeing him at the field, freshly plowed field... time to be, to learn how to concentrate and I knew nothing of this young man until the focus. Standardized tests and the pressure meeting to discuss his actions. It is so conon teachers to prepare students for them do not help children, pe- venient to turn our backs and say it’s not our problem to fix someone riod, especially those with attention deficit issues. If we really take else’s child, to blame bad parenting or just label a kid as a bad apple. the time to get to the root of bad behavior or academic struggles for I am proud to be associated with a group of people who see beyond many kids, we can make better human beings. the obvious and truly care about the children in our community. Now, I know many people say a good dose of discipline fixes the In the time it took me to write this, I have stopped to watch baseso-called ADD, that it’s just bad behavior and, “in our day, we got ball highlights, thought about food fifty plus times, wondered if my a belt instead of medication”. As one that still struggles focusing, I colt would be fresh the next time I saddle him, watched the rain, and know no amount of punishment will change this. If the child doesn’t listened to the ringing in my ears. Yes, I, too, need to pay attention.
PAY ATTENTI O N I
52 • THE ROPING PEN • JUNE 2016