March 23 2007

The Trail

University of Puget Sound Student Newspaper Established 1910 VOLUME 98, ISSUE 16

Educating students about safer sex

Planned Parenthood arranges Safer Sex Workshop.

NEWS PAGE 2

Por t of Tacoma riots cast shadow of shame

FRIDAY MARCH 23, 2007

WWW.THETRAILNEWSPAPER.COM

Kilworth Chapel served as venue for interfaith service of peace and hope

Read one student’s opinion that making a difference is not through crossing a police barricade.

OPINIONS PAGE 5

By Alison Mesinger amesinger@ups.edu News Writer

Spring break unleashed

Features exposes student trips during Spring Break.

FEATURES PAGES 8 & 9

Ted Leo and Andre Bird go head to head A&E album r eview set in a boxing ring of critical punches.

A&E PAGE 11

Asups photoserVices/pAuL wicKs

Lady Log gers loose to UW in elite eight An impressive season ends.

SPORTS PAGES 16

Staff members retire, Student Affairs Dept. starts new staff research

the interfaith service of prayers was held on Monday, March 19 at Kilworth chapel to advocate peace on the fourth anniversary of the war in iraq. understanding that the war in iraq has affected many people, participants devoted their time to reflect on the war in iraq and acknowledge respect and care for the soldiers in iraq suring the prayer. Leaders from the tacoma interfaith community, staff and students gathered to speak at the prayer to bring hope, which was open to the public.

After years of watching students sprout from freshman newcomers to successful graduates, several UPS staff members are ready for retirement or are moving on to bigger and better things.

Ben Hahn and Corey Kopp, who are the Resident Directors, are both leaving at the end of the year. This will be Hahn’s 4 year as an RD and Kopp’s 3 year.

“I think one thing that is really important is that were not leaving because we’re unhappy here,” Hahn said.

“We don’t even know where we’re going yet.”

Kopp explained that both he and Hahn knew the job was only supposed to last for a few years and that they are both on a search to find the next best place to settle down and start over again.

“UPS made it clear to all of us that [our job] was a 2 to 5 year position; they want a program that is going to grow,” said Kopp. “We all knew it was going to be a great, [but short] experience.”

Overall the two co-workers were very satisfied with the time they spent here at UPS. “As a division, we’re exSee Staff page 2

Riot Police confront peaceful protesters C h i l d h o o d r e ptiles b a ck i n h i g h d emand Get ready for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie!

THUMBS PAGE 7

WEEKEND WEATHER

toDaY

55 50

SatUrDaY

SUnDaY

52 36

53 42

coMpiLeD froM VArious sources

INDEX

News...................................................1-3 Comics & Classifieds..............................4 Op/Eds................................................5-7 Features..............................................8-9 Arts & Entertainment.......................10-12 Combat Zone........................................13 Sports..............................................14-16

For more Trail, check out: thetrailnewspaper.com

By Johanna Wallner jwallner@ups.edu News Writer Approximately 20 UPS students were amongst a group of about 60 peace activists involved in a confrontation with riot police who shot the nonviolent crowd with rubber bullets, pepper spray and tear gas in the early morning hours on March 10.

Demonstrators had congregated at the Port of Tacoma to protest the loading of a ship bound to Iraq with strykers, trucks, Humvees and other army vehicles.

The purpose of the demonstrations was not to stop the shipment of the military equipment but rather to send the message that they do not approve of the use of their port in helping export a war that they believe is immoral.

“The goal is to send the message that Tacoma is not a place to ship out war,” said senior Nicki Vance, a facili-

tator for Tacoma Students for a Democratic Society.

UPS’s own SDS was instrumental in helping coordinate and organize the nonviolent demonstrations beginning March 3. Over the course of the week, the number of UPS protesters had topped at around 70 to as few as 15.

On the evening of Fri. March 9, approximately 200 demonstrators from all over Tacoma, Seattle, Portland and Bellingham congregated at the port to support the mission.

In anticipation of a larger group of demonstrators for the weekend, police officials had barricaded the intersection of Milwaukee Way and Lincoln Avenue with road blocks. Additionally, they blockaded the port entrance at the intersection of Milwaukee Way and East Eleventh Street by surrounding it with chain link fencing and riot police.

See proteSt page 3

photo courtesy of Joe Le sAc

riot police set off tear gas at port of tacoma during war protest.

News The Trail

March 23, 2007

2

Staff

cont. from page

ceptional at what we do,” John Underhill from facilities Kopp said. “Our jobs are just services, Kristi Maplethorpe, fun, I get paid to sit and talk to who is the Assistant Direckids about how they’re doing, tor for Student Services, and create relaSharon Mitionships helich, who and plan is an admin“We’re anticipating to events. istrative replace six or seven new staff There are members between now and the assistant in very few the Dean start of the new school year.” things I - Mike Segawa of Students Dean of Students office. didn’t enjoy about Dean of this job.”

Students, Other retiring staff mem- Mike Segawa said the Stubers who will leave at the end dent Affairs Department of the 2007 academic year needs to replace several staff include Barry Anton from the positions as well. “We’re Psychology Dept., Suzanne anticipating to replace six Barnett from the History or seven new staff members Dept., Keith Maxwell from between now and the start of the School of Business and the new school year. We have Leadership, Thomas Rowland two people retiring, we’ve from the Chemistry Dept., promoted a few people in CHWS also, so we need to backfill their positions.”

He also said that UPS staff would adjust accordingly and immediately start the search for new staff members.

“It is easy [to hire new staff] in that we are confident we will find people to fill those slots; it’s a labor intensive process to do these things,” Segawa said. “Two resident directors will go to a national conference at the end of this month to interview [prospects]. We plan to have these positions filled by the end of the academic year.”

There are also a handful photo courtesy ups website of members who either Resident Director Ben Hahn juststaff returned from maternity will be leaving this spring. leave or will soon have one.

Because maternity leave is a

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Workshop explores sex, risks, prevention

By Bailey Douglass bdouglass@ups.edu News Writer

photo courtesy ups website

Suzanna Barnett from the History Dept. will be retiring. fairly long period of time off from work, affected students were worried about replacement staff, but Dean Segawa said they were able to find compatible temporary replacements.

Overall, about 5% of staff are leaving from the Student Affairs Dept. alone, but the administration is fully prepared to fill those positions by the next academic year, as they anticipate the new wave of staff members for the next few years.

Any new hires, faculty or staff, will be announced later this semester, with both beginning positions during the coming summer.

•Alison Mesinger went to the beach for spring break.

The Safer Sex Workshop, held last Tuesday educated students about safer sex practices, including pregnancy and STI prevention.

“By having a safer sex workshop, I hope we can give people accurate, applicable and fun information on how they can protect themselves and their partners from unwanted pregnancy and infection,” junior Anna Mattinson said, who was in charge of the event.

Voices for Planned Parenthood (VOX) put on the event, sponsored by Sexuality Issues, Relationships and Gender Education (SIRGE) and ASUPS for Women’s History Month. Members of VOX said the workshop was important because of the inconsistency of information students have about sexual safety.

“As college students, we are all coming from different backgrounds with different information about sex and sexual health,” Mattinson said. “Some of us have had access to accurate information, but unfortunately many of us have not. Many of us have been taught little or inaccurate information with regards to contraception and sexually transmitted infec-

tions. We’re all here together in college and many of us are sexually active, but without correct information we run terrible risks.”

Mattinson emphasized that the workshop aimed to be inclusive of all genders, sexualities and preferences, and said that the most important information the workshop presented were STI and pregnancy prevention.

“The most important things to take away are arming you with information, practice and supplies,” Mattinson said. “It is crucial to learn to use a dental dam or put on a condom in a non-sexual environment. Becoming comfortable, or at least able to, talk to your partners about sex and sexual histories. Inform yourself with at least a basic knowledge of sexually transmitted infections and methods of preventing conception. If you’re having heterosexual intercourse, keep some Plan B (the “morning after pill”) around just in case.”

For students who missed the workshop, copies of “Safer Sex: A Guide to Sexual Health for UPS Students,” a brochure Mattinson wrote with VOX co-president Adrienne Lee, are available at the Counseling, Health and Wellness Center.

• Bailey Douglass steals condoms from CHWS every couple of days.

Security Report

www.thelantern.com/freetrip

*Visit the url above for complete rules and regulations.

Security staff responded to, or received reports of, the following incidents on campus between March 7, 2007 and March 20, 2007: • March 8: A student discovered and reported a broken window in the basement of the Library. The window was broken from the inside out and it appeared there was blood in the room. Nothing was reported missing from the room or area and no one reported an injury.

• March 8: A student reported his ipod and digital camera taken from his room in Todd Hall. He said he left his room unlocked to take a shower and believes the theft occurred at this time.

• March 8: Facilities discovered and reported “SVE” graffiti in the men’s first floor bathroom of Wheelock Student Center. The graffiti was done in wet red paint which dripped down the wall.

• March 9: A construction worker reported his vehicle was broken into while it was parked in the Fieldhouse lot. His CD player, amplifier, and sub-woofer were stolen. Tacoma Police were contacted and took a report on the theft.

• March 9: A student reported her bicycle was stolen from the west side of the Wheelock Student Center where she left it unsecured overnight.

• March 10: A student reported her bicycle was stolen from her University house on N. Washington Street. It was secured with a chain on the front porch.

• March 14: A staff member reported several credit cards were stolen from her purse while she was in Marshall Hall.

She didn’t recall leaving her purse unattended and is not sure exactly when or how the theft occurred. She only became aware of the theft when her credit card company called her to report suspicious use.

• March 18: A student reported her bicycle was stolen during Spring Break. She left her bicycle secured with a cable lock and could not locate it when she returned. She believes she left it locked outside the Library, but is not certain.

• March 20: A faculty member from Physics reported a department laptop computer stolen from Harned Hall. The computer was locked to a cart and was being used for an experiment in the hallway. The Dell Inspiron computer is marked “Physic Department.”

• Courtesy of Todd A. Badham

News March 23, 2007

The Trail

Protest

cont. from page

photo courtesy of joe Le Sac

Police get involved in antiwar protest at the Port of Tacoma.

Dressed in complete riot gear, approximately 100 law enforcement officers from the Tacoma Police Department, the King County Sheriffs Department, the Washington State Patrol, the United States Coast Guard and South King County were on hand to control the crowd and keep the peace.

Protesters were nonviolent.

They held signs reading, “Destroy the War Machine” and “Troops Home Now.” They sang songs and yelled into megaphones.

Several instances occurred when demonstrators shook the chain-link fence surrounding the port entrance. Police responded to the fence-shaking by shooting rubber bullets, hitting a few demonstrators.

As the night grew late and rain began to fall, the group gradually shrunk as many dispersed, calling it a night.

Around 2 a.m., demonstrators (mostly students at this point) began marching away from the intersection of Milwaukee Way and East Eleventh Street. They retreated about a mile away from the police to the intersection of Milwaukee Way and Lincoln Avenue near their vehicles.

Following the march of activists, riot police traveled down Milwaukee Way, the street that was blockaded from protesters, meeting protesters at the road blockade at the intersection of Milwaukee Way and Lincoln Avenue.

The protesters chants of “Our Streets” and “Our Port” turned into a unison chant of “Shame on You.” Drowned out from the chanting, police officials told the crowd to disperse.

Minutes later, police fired rubber bullets into the crowd.

Staying peaceful despite the confrontation, demonstrators sat down in front of the police blockade and began singing “Give Peace a Chance.”

Again, police officials mandated that the demonstrators leave. Minutes later, police fired pepper spray and tear gas into the crowd, escalating the confrontation into fear and chaos for the demonstrators. As the students fled and scrambled into their cars, police continued to ad-

vance and fire gas canisters, producing flying sparks and flames.

“They fired tear gas, we backed off, and they kept on firing and advancing so we had to retreat behind the cars we were trying to leave in,” freshman David Lev said.

“When we did get to our cars, we were forced by the police to abandon several of our comrades, leading to utter chaos for at least the next hour.”

Police officials report that they fired into the crowd because several demonstrators started throwing orange sawhorses or road blocks in the direction of officers.

“A large number of protesters started to cause a bit of a disturbance,” Brad Graham, Tacoma Police Detective said.

“They picked up some of the sawhorses (road blocks) and started throwing them in the direction of officers, and they started sitting down to blockade the street. At that point, officers had to move in and disperse the crowd.”

Demonstrators report that they did not throw sawhorses. They admit that several demonstrators did pick up sawhorses after the police started firing but claim none were thrown in the direction of police.

“I was off to the right side,” Lev said. “I saw no blockades being thrown. “Some may have been knocked

3 1

down or pushed aside, but I saw nothing thrown at the police.”

Senior Daniel Cairns, junior Joe La Sac and sophomore Erick Peirson all took video footage of the confrontation. They claim their video footage does not cite any demonstrators throwing road blocks.

Additionally, demonstrators witnessed a trucker hauling refined oil pull up to the intersection. The truck driver braked and honked, causing police to approach the truck, throw open the cab door and from what witnesses saw, gas him. Students are not aware of what became of the trucker.

Peirson experienced a heavy dose of gas while he was filming. He shared his footage with King 5 News, which used some of his film in their news report. CHWS offered their services to students who needed assistance from the confrontation.

Junior Peter Ryan was arrested on Friday night. As the gas and sparks flew into the air, he kept his place in the front of the line. Police arrested him as they advanced towards protesters fleeing in their cars.

Earlier in the week, on Sun. March 4, La Sac was detained by police for about an hour. An officer had mandated him to stop filming and shut his camera off. Knowing his camera rights, La Sac refused.

After receiving a complaint from a viewer of La Sac’s YouTube video about the altercation, an assistant police chief ordered an investigation from the internal affairs office. Police officers did not have the right to stop La Sac from filming.

Additionally, on Sun. March 11, junior Charlie Bevis was arrested. As an act of civil disobedience, Bevis joined over 30 other peace activists including a city council member from Olympia by getting arrested for disobeying a police mandate that prohibited backpacks from the area and crossing the police line.

• Johanna Wallner is great.

Photo courtesy of Joe Le sac

Tear gas set off by riot police at peace rally on March 9.

Have an opinion on the events of the peaceful protest gone awry?

Email thoughts to trail@ups.edu

1095 Wheelock Student Center Tacoma, WA 98416-1095 253-879-3197 (main & ads) • 253-879-3661 (fax) thetrailnewspaper.com • trail@ups.edu

Editorial Board Executive Editors....................trail@ups.edu Editor in Chief Brandon Lueken Managing Editor Katie Azarow Advertisements..................trailads@ups.edu Business & Advertising Manager Helen Macdonald Photo Services..........photoservices@ups.edu General Manager Nick Kiest Photo Editor Paul Wicks News...............................trailnews@ups.edu Co-Editors Yujung Choi, Lauren Foster Copy Editor Maddy Ryen Sports..................upstrailsports@gmail.com Editor Will Holden Assistant Editor Joe Engler Copy Editor Erica Petrofsky Opinions............................trailops@ups.edu Co-Editors Russell Howe, Chris Van Vechten Copy Editor Betsy Walker Arts & Entertainment...........trailae@ups.edu Editor Kevin Nguyen Assistant Editor Nick Martens Copy Editor Megan Dill-McFarland Features.....................traileditors@ups.edu Layout Editor Mark Delbrueck Content Editor Fayez Rumi Combat Zone................trailheyyou@ups.edu Hey You’s & Combat Zone Editor Nicole Liuzzi Hey You’s & Features Copy Editor Allison Ause Cartoonists Elliot Trotter, Aaron Lynch Trail Faculty Advisor..................David Droge

COMiCs & CLAssiFieDs

“HEY YOU,” I hope you’re up for some competition because I’m ready to move in for the kill and sweep her off her feet if you aren’t careful. I’m more fly than you anyway.

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I’ll wear my nice pants.

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“HEY YOU,” alarm clock, shut up.

“HEY YOU,” a shout out to the men’s soccer team, who “HEY YOU,” dawn rises, can stomp a D1 school any and the attack approaches. day, and who really wants to stomp you right now.

“HEY YOU,” UPS, while I will miss you, I cannot wait “HEY YOU,” Pizza Hut, to graduate. stop messing up our orders.

“HEY YOU,” Intro to “HEY YOU,” rain, Poetry class, you rock. don’t you know it’s spring already?

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“HEY YOU,” our attendance policy sucks.

The Trail

March 23, 2007

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CLASSIFIEDS POLICY The Trail shall not be held liable for the content or accuracy of its Hey You ads. The opinions of the “Hey You” ads do not represent the opinions of The Trail or The Trail Staff.

No paid members of The Trail editorial staff may submit “Hey You” ads. No personal names are allowed in the “Hey You” ads. The Trail reserves the right to modify or discontinue any and all parts of the ad, and without notice. The reader agrees not to use the The Trail’s ”Hey You” ad section to create damaging, unlawful, harmful or threatening content; commit libel or false accusations; be false, inaccurate or misleading; or discriminate in any way shape or form. Although The Trail strives to accurately portray each reader’s classified or “Hey You” ad, providing a service for the UPS community, The Trail always has the final say in the final copy of the ”Hey You” ad section.

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Opinions March 23, 2007

The Trail

5

Police tear gas for peace Letter to the Editor

By Chris Van Vechten ccvanvechten@aol.com Opinions Editor

Once again, I have been overruled. My suggestion last November that UPS jettison its historic, albeit elitist, apellation: “Harvard of the West” – in favor of the “apathetic, activist-free, Kent State of the West” was resoundingly rejected March 9, following a tense four day standoff at the Port of Tacoma between anti-war demonstrators, Tacoma policemen and unaffiliated student journalists – most notably Joseph La Sac – whose mere presence somehow exacerbated the conflict.

With so much here to discuss, all I can hope to do is briefly critique the actions of all parties concerned.

Peaceful protesters: I appreciate your plight. Your choice is to be complicit in an illegal war or active in illegal peace demonstrations. In a sense Bush has placed you between Iraq and a hard place (stupid pun, I know). But your radical and provocative tactics,

while certainly courageous and on some level even inspiring, are nonetheless substantively futile.

None of you are Nelson Mandela and it is absurd to think that getting arrested by crossing a police barricade is going to make a difference.

We all remember Rosa Parks: a black lady from Montgomery, Alabama who was arrested for refusing to observe her city’s segregation laws on public buses.

What few of us do remember, however, is that her bold action reflected a premeditated strategy of the NAACP—later featuring Martin Luther King and a massive 382 day city-wide bus boycott that ultimately forced segregation off the road.

These less dramatic/confrontational/memorable tactics were nonetheless both economically and legally effective at pressuring politicians to implement change.

Like Parks, your arrests have

done little more than to raise local awareness. If you want to do something more substantial you’re going to have to find a way to fight the Power that is both economic and legal. Instead of wasting resources and time paying fines to the court, volunteer to raise funds for the Democrats (even for the Green Party would be more constructive).

Learn which corporations are benefiting from the war and then expose and boycott them. Organize peaceful, legal, marches – don’t discredit yourselves by breaking the law, otherwise you’ll be no better than those who defied the UN in order to save it from those who defied the UN. Violent protesters: shame on you! Your actions undermined the issue and compromised the public safety. If you have some personal problem with police officers, vent it on your cyber blog or play Grand Theft Auto for a couple of hours. Don’t hijack peace movements.

Tacoma PD: I sympathize with you also. I’m sure none

See PEACE page 7

Martyrdom is for Jihadists

By T.J. Rakitan trakitan@ups.edu Opinions Writer

I have one question to ask all of those courageous Loggers who were booked for obstruction at the Port of Tacoma over Spring Break: what were you thinking? Raising a ruckus is one thing, but becoming a political kamikaze is quite another.

Were I a betting man I’d lay 10-to-1 odds that you were all preparing yourselves with the last rites of the ship before converging on the Port, and now we’re watching footage on YouTube of shouting protesters making martyrs’ speeches as they gloriously give themselves up for the Cause.

Let me clue you in on a lit-

Dear Editor,

tle piece of wisdom that every game theorist knows by heart: talk is cheap.

I cite, as an example, film footage taken by a UPS student of various protesters clambering over police lines and into the waiting mass of officers set to arrest. Several demonstrators make short statements before they are led to the squad cars, clarifying that they are the victims of wrongdoing and the crowd cheers them on. I wonder how many of these protesters would have made any statements whatsoever had they not had that cheering throng behind them. Would the statements have been the same if the speakers were being booked for something other than obstruction?

In another film segment,

shot during one of the earlier installments of the uproar, a protester wanders across the camera’s field of view, notices he’s being caught on tape, turns and says, “f**k the po-lice.” The protester is wild-eyed and wearing a bandanna over his mouth that obscures his features. Does he remove it even though the filming is happening at least a hundred yards away from any tear-gas dispersal? Of course not. When the rubber (bullet) meets the road, he remains anonymous. Would he have made the same statement without his mask?

See, it’s easier—and more immediately gratifying—to stage a protest with a bunch of other like-minded zealots than it is to get the same amount of people to flood

See MARTYRDOM page 7

Letter to the Editor

Betsy Walker’s perception of the purpose of Lent is a little off center. Lent is not punishment. It’s not even a moral test. You are not a bad person if you “fail” and break your fast. Christianity teaches that there is nothing you could do to make God love you more or less, and that Christ took your judgment upon himself when he was crucified.

Lent is not really about our sacrifices at all, it is about Christ’s sacrifice. It’s about recognizing that he suffered and sacrificed himself so that we don’t have to pass a series of moral tests to be accepted by God. Lent is a

time to honor that sacrifice by making one of our own.

It’s a time to regain appreciation for Christ’s sacrifice of his comfort, dignity and time on Earth by attempting to forfeit even a small comfort in our lives. It lays bare the “me first” mentality of our culture.

Lent reveals our addictions. It reveals the material comforts we have become dependent upon instead of God. It shows us the ways in which we feed and please our physical selves while neglecting our spiritual selves.

It’s not a “Survivor” challenge, it’s a way of redirecting and strengthening our faith’s focus. The point is not

to make you uncomfortable, but to show you, through that discomfort, where you truly draw your comfort, peace and happiness from.

And after recognizing just how hard it is to give up a silly little thing like sugar, caffeine, TV or Facebook, it gives you a whole new appreciation for the sacrifices Jesus Christ made for humankind. So when Easter comes and you can end your fast, hopefully you will have a renewed appreciation for freedom from the legality in the Old Testament.

Jesus is rad. Amen.

Sincerely, Amber Short

Dear Editor, This letter is in response to the two recent columns in The Trail regarding oral sex techniques. While we, the staff at Counseling, Health and Wellness Services, wholeheartedly support freedom of speech and freedom of the press, we found the articles disturbing on several levels. We feel they reinforce the worst of the male-female stereotypes, perpetuate inequality between men and women, ignore the potential risks of sexually transmitted diseases, and reveal a less than ideal level of social responsibility on the author’s part.

We found the articles demeaning to both men and women.

They reinforce one of the most egregious of stereotypes: that women should do whatever it takes to “please their men,” with complete disregard for whether the women like it or not. Allow us to quote the author from her first article: “The fact that you are willing and excited to give a blow job can be a huge turn-on for your guy. Do not act like going down is a chore or an obligation (even if, to you, it is.)” Ms. Lumiere has managed to slam us back to Relationship Stone Age in just a couple of sentences. What happened to the notion that relationships could be built on mutual respect, that anything less than honesty should be unacceptable to both partners?

We find the author’s suggestion that it is okay to “feign enjoyment” (second article) appalling and, quite honestly, a betrayal of women and all that they have fought for during the last several decades.

Encouraging women OR men to pretend they are enjoying any aspect of sex simply validates the concept that basing your relationship on a lie is acceptable. Having sex does not automatically equate to sexual freedom. How about tackling the more appropriate, and frankly, far more interesting subject of where a relationship should be BEFORE the two of you decide to become intimate? Perhaps encouraging your fellow students (men and women) to reach the level of maturity and honesty that would allow them to speak freely about sexual desires BEFORE they start worrying about “perfecting their techniques” would be in order.

It is demeaning and demoralizing to both sexes to foster the notion that oral sex is the preferred route to “a man’s heart.” It offends your fellow students when you fail to give them more credit than that. We choose to believe that U.P.S. men and women treasure each other for other qualities – intelligence, personality, humor, compassion, etc.,

not just their sexual prowess.

We find it frightening and completely irresponsible, particularly on a college campus, to write an article about oral sex without any acknowledgement of either the potential risks involved or how to practice safer sex.

Unfortunately, there are students on this campus who still believe sexually transmitted diseases cannot be spread while engaging in oral sex. You missed a golden opportunity to educate your fellow students.

And what about EQUALITY in sexual relationships?

Again, the author bows to some disturbing stereotypes. Here is her message to men: “If you elect not to perform oral sex on your female partner, she should respect your decision.”

Compare that to her “do it even if you don’t enjoy it” and “women are expected to feign enjoyment” message to her fellow women. Why the disconnect? Why not consider some articles that might foster healthy, mature sexual relationships in which MUTUAL pleasure (based on honesty) is the goal? Ironically, that goal can be more challenging to attain than “perfecting your technique.” More challenging, but undoubtedly more fulfilling in all ways.

To our knowledge, the author is not a certified sex therapist or relationship expert, which begs another question: why is she setting herself up as an expert on the subject of oral sex techniques? What credentials give her the right to dispense what we see as irresponsible sex therapy and relationship advice to her fellow students?

Journalistic freedom does not excuse either personal or journalistic responsibility.

When you assign yourself the task of writing an article in a public venue, consider the consequences. The privilege of expression does not come without responsibility. You owe your fellow students better than what you have provided them in your last two articles.

Sensationalizing an already provocative subject is the easy way out. We all know those salacious, slang words. Certainly high on the shock value scale, but does that mean you have to use them? You can get an audience’s attention in more powerful, less offensive ways.

And finally, we are curious. Did the editorial staff consider any of the responsibility and integrity issues while perusing the articles?

At what point did they feel publishing the articles was the right thing to do?

Sincerely, CHWS Staff Members

Opinions The Trail

March 23, 2007

6

Eating instant noodles in rainy Tacoma

By Beth Murdock emurdock@ups.edu Opinions Writer

this from the bottom of my heart.

The fact that my week was lousy certainly doesn’t justify my harboring any resentment towards my fellow students. Just

because they were fortunate enough to jet set off to Europe, hit the slopes, go camping, or visit their hometowns while I spent seven days on campus all alone doesn’t give me license to project any kind of bitterness. In fact, there is no reason whatsoever that the

image of any of my classmates sipping mai tais silhouetted against a Caribbean sunset while I sat in my dorm room eating ramen and watching First of all, let me Donnie Darko should cause just say that I hope me to feel anything but pereveryone had a terrific fect happiness for them.

Spring Break; I mean As a demonstration of my benevolence and commendable lack of hard feelings, I will give a personal account of all the delights of Spring Break in Tacoma for anyone who missed out.

Most days the weather was unremarkable—wet, but not especially cold. Friday, however, was gloriously bright and warm. Campus was more or less vacant, with the exception of some staff members and a terrifying invasion of high school debate teams on the second Friday and both of the Saturdays. The fitness center was closed all week. The SUB limited its hours of operation, as well as the variety of food it offered, so I subsisted mainly on apples, chocolate and instant noodles. (This is not a diet I would recommend that anyone follow for any extended period as it left me feeling weak, unsatisfied and curiously starchy.)

Although the library was open on the weekdays, I only utilized it to rent movies. (I watched 17 in all, Phil Moore my favorites of these being Proof, Half Nelson and All that Jazz.) I had intended, of course, to use my break time to get ahead on schoolwork, but as it turns out, I’m just not Dear Liz, partner fellatio is to receive anxieties and the pressures that motivated. I didn’t comoral sex. instill the idea that a healthy plete a single assignment. In I admire your willingness We are lacking the true sexual relationship can be fact, I barely met the deadline to start a conversation about beauty in sex: the sensual taught in a textbook manner. for this article. sex. My problem with the connection between two Sex is not step-by-step, forDespite the fact that I tech“Pleasing your [partner]” ar- people who care about each mulaic and cold. Both partnically had plenty of work that ticles is not from a puritan other. Sex is not purely phys- ners should feel comfortable could’ve occupied me, I found standpoint, but with the way ical, but rather a unique mu- enough with one another to the daily challenge of filling you framed oral sex; you have tual way of expressing feel- ask what feels good, and up all my free time to be the exemplified the way sex has ings for someone you enjoy. voice anxieties they may most trying aspect of spendbeen sold to our generation. Instead of securing men and have about anything. It is ing Spring Break on campus.

Women learn that “there is women with the tools to ex- a partnership. There is altoCertainly, time passes whethnothing sexier than feeling press themselves, communi- gether too much emphasis er you fill it or not, but I find it desirable,” reinforcing the cate well with one another on how to produce an ormuch more satisfying and less idea that girls receive pleas- and feel confident enough gasm for one’s partner, espedepressing if it passes while ure from the validation of to the point where they can cially directed at girls. There I’m doing something worthmen. That the “surest way to choose how to express their is not enough emphasis on a while. I clung to my sanity by a man’s heart” is through his care for one another physi- mutual experience. Giving finding some reason to go off penis. And that men can en- cally, we’ve secured them directions on how to give campus every day and then joy sex for physical reasons with a formula for produc- oral sex completely voids making each excursion take only. The emphasis is placed ing orgasm. Sex should be the act from any sensual or as long as possible. I would on the penis, the orgasm and sensual, about exploring the loving pleasure the couple only buy enough food for one the man’s physical pleasure person you have feelings should be deriving from it or two days so that I’d have to made possible through the for, and exploring what feels and removes any spontanego back to the grocery store. I female’s vulnerability and good to both of you. ity from the act. Any act walked to the bank instead of desire to please. Your articles Just like it has been pre- of sex should be sensual, taking the bus. I even printed made it clear that if the male sented to us by the media, fulfilling to both partners out a guest pass for Bally Todoesn’t want to go down on you have made sex cold. Our and uninhibited. This is not tal Fitness and rode the bus his girl, that’s because vagi- generation is taught through made possible by keeping in across town to work out innas are gross and dirty. The easily-accessed-hardcore mind someone else’s ideas stead of just running around male can “elect not to per- porn, mainstream movies on “how to please your partthe track. form oral sex,” whereas a and articles like these by ner,” but through open comSpending Spring Break on girl should pretend to enjoy Lights out with Liz that sex munication in a positive, campus is not for sissies. You it and moan for her man, to is an equation and, espe- caring relationship. must be a pretty committed “not act like going down is cially, that experienced guys and experienced loner to have a chore … even if, to you, it and girls will expect certain Sincerely, a prayer of enjoying it. Boreis.” And finally, that an that things from their partners. dom is definitely your greatest an incentive for giving your These expectations create Allegra Oxborough foe, but loneliness comes in a

Letter to the Editor

3 Watson fellowships for UPS

Rubber bullets

Rubbers

close second. I ate every meal alone and went entire days without talking to a single soul. I can count on one hand the number of conversations I had during the entire week that weren’t with cashiers. In the evenings I would lie on my bed listening to Broken Social Scene and writing in my journal about my exquisite and utterly pervasive loneliness.

In the midst of my selfindulgent melancholy, all I could think was, what ever happened to the college Spring Break that I imagined in high school? Where are the bikinis and MTV cameras? Is it really too much to ask for me to be able to spend a week in Cancun that I will only vaguely remember? (Heck, I’m not even that classy; I’d settle for Panama City Beach, Flor.) Then something marvellous occurred to me. In the final analysis, the long term effects of my lame-ass Tacoma Spring Break are almost identical to those of a week of drunken, south-ofthe-border shenanigans: I accomplished nothing, I am not likely to remember the details of anything I did, and when I tell people about it on Monday, it’s going to be kind of embarrassing (though sadly, not for the same reasons).

In some ways, I might actually be better off than those tequila sipping, tan-getting, globe-trotting bastards who actually enjoyed the break.

While they will likely experience a few days of depression as they mourn the end of their vacations, I am totally ready to dive back into the stress of school, if only for the opportunity for intellectual stimulation and human contact that it affords me.

• Beth Murdock is actually very bitter and hates everyone who left, even if they only went to Olympia.

Editorial Policy: Columns do not necessarily represent the opinions of The Trail.

The Trail encourages all readers to respond to all articles or important issues by writing a letter to the Editor.

Columns and letters in the Opinions section are printed at the discretion of the Editorial Board. The Trail reserves the right to refuse any letter that is submitted for publication. Letters must be signed with a full name and contact information and are due no later than 5 p.m. on Mondays. Letters may be mailed to trailops@ups. edu or delivered through the mail to CMB 1095.

Security admit hours

Opinions March 23, 2007

The Trail

Martyrdom

Cont. from page 5

7

Peace

their congressmen with angry emotional venting and ac- zealots who had the courage of you joined the force to beat letters. In the case of the Port cuse the monolithic presence to defy the proverbial “Man.” down hippies in the name of of Tacoma riots, the police on the other side of the metal There they went, marching a war most Washingtonians even met protesters halfway barricade of gross civil rights resolutely toward the squad (possibly yourselves includby playing bad guy. Sud- infringement than it is to ar- cars and trying for all they’re ed) don’t support. Nonethedenly, it wasn’t just a group of gue convincingly for ending worth to maintain that look less, your conduct toward people who wanted to end the an unjust war. It also makes of heroic stoicism as they got the protesters was first irrewar raising a ruckus down at it far easier to get attention. manhandled into the vehicles. sponsible, later excessive and the Port of Tacoma. Rather, The most fiery and dedicated Don’t even bother playing the ultimately inexcusable. Funit created a perfect setup for of the demonstrators is im- sympathy card. They got what damentally the police must the proclamation of a holy mediately catapulted from they asked for. Think about it: be held to the highest standcause (right to assemble; end an unjust war) and the vilification of all those in opposition. It became an angry and repressed mob of freedom-fighters heroically pitting itself against the conglomerated evil of the multinational corporations, the Bush Administration and the Tacoma Police. Writing letters to your congressman doesn’t dare compare with that kind of action.

You can’t very well scream “give us back the constitution” at your representative in a letter; what would you do, scribble it in PHOTO COURTESY: JOE LA SAC capitalized letters and add a few exclamation points Tacoma riot control stands ready for possible police action against demonstrators at the Port of Tacoma. for effect? You couldn’t reasonably scream it at your representative in person obscurity in the masses to an a crow of loud, obnoxious dis- ards of the law if they are to without the possibility of har- orating celebrity being hauled sidents squaring off in primal be allowed to enforce it. This assment charges. In front of off into a squad car. Those defiance of a horde of armed is theoretically the principle a stoic line of police officers, who don’t get booked don’t policemen is a PR disaster upon which civil/martial relahowever, it makes for nice get their name in the books. waiting to happen. Tensions tions have been both defined rhetoric: what cruel agent of How does it feel to join the rise and then all it takes is one and sustained for centuries Satan would deny goodheart- ranks of the martyrs? Were idiot to set off the reaction (hence why you can legally ed people that inalienable any of our protesters proud that will send the crowd into shoot someone and I can’t.) right of assembly? That is, to be arrested in the name madness. Chaos reigns.

Based upon what I witnessed who aside from the Tacoma of their ideal? The crowd • T.J. Rakitan wonders why any- at the Port in the days leading Police? seemed to think so. As arrests one would stick his neck out for up to the riot, I am 100 perOnce again, it takes far less were made, they cheered with democracy when all he’d have cent convinced that it was the to do is pay bail. inexperience of your officers effort to join the collective enthusiasm for the glorious that prompted hostilities and attracted belligerent demonstrators.

I observed your men disable crosswalk signals while both demonstrators and journalists Dear Editor, Nothing has changed, ex- is because the public must crossed the street in order to cept that with Web2.0, the be reduced to apathy and justify searching or detaining Our media needs democ- average person can gather obedience, and driven from them for “j-walking” (which racy. Technology is lifting news and distribute it glo- political debate and action is called “entrapment” and journalism’s traditional bar- bally. For example, one so that an undemocratic pois illegal.) I was given conriers to entry one wouldn’t might fact-check (or “fisk”) litical structure can survive. flicting reports from officers have faced before the in- an article from the mainRecently, I was detained about what exactly I could ternet’s liberal model for stream media on a blog or by police while filming the do and where exactly I could the “marketplace of ideas.” online forum. A snaparazzi Port of Tacoma from a street stand as a journalist if I didn’t Online citizen-journalism in might snap a digital pho- open to the public. This is a want to be shot or arrested. fact began in Seattle (of all to of a newsworthy event blatant infringement on the Later, on La Sac’s YouTube places) with the Independ- and post it online. Or, like press’ freedoms, resulting video, I watched you shoot an ent Media Center, which what happened at the Port in general from pressures unarmed female demonstrawas a response to the WTO of Tacoma this week, one against citizen participation. tor five times in the stomach talks in 1999. Anti-WTO might videotape a news- We are deregulating the conwith rubber bullets before she bloggers were disgusted by worthy event and post it on centration of media ownerfell face-down on the asphalt the 60-seconds of coverage YouTube or MetaCafe for ship through simple, market and was subsequently sprayed reporting them as black-bloc the whole world to see. means. We have the tools with what I’m guessing was anarchists, so they created I believe citizen-journal- to develop a vibrant media mace. an alternative media model, ism is an important piece democracy, and undemoWhile I don’t excuse the (Indymedia.org), which has of political discourse and cratic forces in our governprotesters for failing to renow grown to cover over engagement. In many ways, ment and establishments are spect the law, I don’t feel 200 cities in the world, in- the definition of “the press” against this. your violent response was cluding the West Bank. has now come full circle, What we truly need now warranted. Once the protestThe idea that citizens can back to its originalistic is participatory media deers sat down you should have engage in journalism has meaning. mocracy, because, to echo declared them “under arrest” a long history in the U.S. As citizens, the “freedom the motto of the independent and cuffed them accordingly.

When the First Amendment of the press” clause belongs South Korean news group, Only if they continued to rewas added, “freedom of the to all of us. But if participa- OhmyNews, “Every Citizen sist should you have considpress” quite literally referred tory newsmaking would be is a Reporter.” ered applying such force as to the freedom to publish us- considered an infringement you did. ing a printing press, not just on freedom of the mainSincerely, I consider your actions the freedom of organized stream press, an attack on unjustified and presume entities in the publishing in- the independence of the Joe La Sac that you do also, otherwise dustry. mainstream media, then this you wouldn’t have claimed

Letter to the Editor

Turtle Power

Raping our childhood with CGI

March Madness

Cont. from page 5

that you were responding to “saw-horses” being thrown which—as far as anyone can tell—appears to be totally ungrounded. There is no footage of this, despite the fact that there were at least six video cameras among the protesters that night and two among the police. No one was arrested for throwing barricades (out of some 37 arrests only one was for “assault” and that charge was later dropped for lack of evidence.) Of the dozens of people I’ve spoken to who were involved, none have admitted to throwing anything prior to the tear-gassing. Thus, I can only conclude that you acted less out of fear and more out of frustration with the protesters’ lack of compliance.

Yet, in the spirit of “the buck stops here,” let me emphasize that no one is more responsible for these riots then the President and his supporters.

In addition to further straining our national divide, this doomed surge of theirs will only prolong an insane war that has already deprived this country of far too many lives and dollars.

If the Israeli Defense Forces, one of the most competent militaries in the world, cannot defeat Islamic fundamentalism in its own backyard; how is the U.S. going to do it 10,000 miles from home with soldiers who can’t even correctly pronounce the name of the country they’ve come to liberate? How can we realistically guarantee that our soldiers in Baghdad will carry out their mission honorably, without succumbing to the stresses of war and committing atrocities against civilians, when our own policemen in Tacoma can’t even disperse a harmless mob of over-privileged college students without firing 20 canisters of tear gas?

That’s right readers, make no mistake about it; the hands of the officers who made the arrests were no less cuffed than those of the protesters.

In that sense, neither they nor the police are to blame— we’re all victims of a bigger mistake.

Oh well, in the grand scheme of things this incident will amount to little. Americans give far too much credit to the power of protests; which is why revisionist historians have both credited and blamed the students of the 1960s for the end of the war in Vietnam. But we radical conspiracy theorists—who crazily suspect that the VietCong had something to do with it—know better. You can protest or not, they can police or not. Either way: the war is lost.

• Chris Van Vechten refused to take part in the riot because “we Jews have a thing about getting gassed.”

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The Trail

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Arts & Entertainment The Trail

March 23, 2007

10

Seeking spring skiing in Northwest

By Travis McNamara tmcnamara@ups.edu A&E Writer

There is the sun in the sky and snow in the mountains, which can mean only one thing: spring skiing season is upon us. The Northwest is a veritable playground for skiers and snowboarders alike, and there is no better time than during this beautiful weather to get out and play.

With just under a month left before the mountains close their gates (on and around April 15), the time for t-shirts and sunburns is short. This handy guide presents some of Washington’s finest spring skiing options – complete with ticket prices, directions and tips on the mountain – to get you out and having fun before anything melts.

Crystal Mountain Crystal Mountain lays claim to being Washington’s largest ski area, spanning 2600 acres and peaking out at a looming 7012 feet. Resting just north of Mt. Rainier, the peak at Crystal holds spectacular views of the mountain, especially on the clearer days of spring.

Crystal’s terrain is varied: rolling groomers through the middle for intermediates, as well as exposed peak-skiing and cornices off its Silver Queen Peak for experts. On powder days, the upper bowls and chutes towards the top are large draws.

Crystal also offers 1300 acres of backcountry skiing, most of which is secluded, accessible only through hiking. On a nice day, its South Backcountry is worth the trip alone, dropping off the backside towards a gladed run in full view of Mt. Rainier.

Tickets are $53 for a full day from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. The food is stupidly overpriced, so always remember to pack a lunch. Also, refuse to eat this lunch in their “Brown Bag Area,” located in the lodge’s basement. It is full

Photo courtesy: paradise.caltech.edu

Remember the movie “Octopussy” when Bond escapes armed henchmen on skis? Stevens Pass will probably be a similar experience.

of kids, and smells like a hot sock. There is no shame in the brown bag.

At a mere hour and a half drive, Crystal Mountain is a winning bet for spring skiing.

Check up on conditions on their website (www.skicrystal.com), slap on some sunscreen and go have fun.

To Crystal: Travel east on Hwy 512, or north on I-5 to Hwy 167 to Hwy 410. Thirtythree miles past Enumclaw, turn left onto Crystal Mountain Blvd.

Stevens Pass A two and a half hour trip east through the Skykomish Valley brings you to Stevens Pass, a local favorite and ideal spot for spring skiing.

Located on the crest of the Cascade Range, Stevens Pass receives most of the cool air

traveling across the range’s eastern edge, which keeps its snow relatively light. Since the spring sun tends to slush up the mountain, the lighter snow at Stevens provides a great environment for lateseason skiing.

Stevens Pass is more of a ridgeline than a peak, offering much different terrain between its front and back sides.

Its frontside is gladed and gentler, with about 1800 feet of vertical drop. Stevens’ highest peak, Cowboy Mountain, boasts expert level terrain and a handful of chutes.

The front also services a massive terrain park, complete with rails, tabletops, a superpipe and all sorts of other stuff to thrash the proverbial gnar with, if that is your type of thing.

Otherwise, the backside at Stevens is an open-mountain dream, with big exposed bowls, ridgeline steeps, and plenty of room to play around. For the tree-inclined, the gladed patches off of Big Chief Mountain lead into a natural halfpipe that runs the length of the mountain, which is worth a look. In good conditions, you can stay there all day and never get bored.

Tickets are $49 for a 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. day, and you can check snow conditions at www.stevenspass.com. Carpooling with friends saves gas, the environment and money in your pocket, so pack in your friends and enjoy the 2.5 hour ride up to Stevens Pass.

To Stevens Pass: Take I-5 north through Seattle. Take exit 194 (Stevens Pass) in

Everett and follow Hwy 2 for 65 miles to Stevens Pass Ski Area.

Alpental For the truly dedicated and occasionally suicidal, Alpental at Snoqualmie Pass provides, in its own words, “the most beautiful and challenging terrain in the state.”

Located at the rocky top of 5530 feet, Denny Mountain, Alpental is all chutes, steeps, cliffs and anything else you can find to throw yourself off of.

While smaller than both Crystal and Stevens, Alpental enjoys its status as a noncommercialized local mountain, only an hour and fifteen minute drive from Tacoma.

“Crystal is trying to become see SKIING page 12

NBC’s “Heroes” out to save American families

By Kevin Nguyen knguyen@ups.edu A&E Editor

NBC scored big-time when it introduced “Heroes,” a primetime program about everyday people waking up with supernatural abilities. The show is incredibly popular, earning NBC its highest drama ratings in five years, and it is easy to see why. “Heroes” draws on the success of similar on-going dramas “Lost” and “24,” ending each episode with a cliffhanger and an abundance of new questions. The apparently inquisitive nature of American audiences makes “Heroes” the latest addiction.

It is, more or less, televised crack.

Despite the presence of its supernatural qualities, “Heroes” is not a science fiction series. While the plot is stimulated by the development

of unexplained superhuman powers, the show appears uninterested in advocating a Spider-Man-esque morality tale. Instead, the conflicts of the story revolve around the internal struggle of its characters. “Heroes” is out to save American family values.

Almost every character in the show has a familial connection to another character in the program. (The sole exception to this is the prognosticating painter Isaac, who we kind of lose sympathy for once he shoots his girlfriend in the chest.) In fact, “Heroes” sets out to tackle every single example of familial conflict. There is the overprotective parent (exhibited by the invincible cheerleading jailbait Claire Bennet and her ambivalently motivated stepfather), volatile sibling dynamic (brothers Peter and Nathan Petrelli, whose outlooks on heroism could not clash more), and

struggling single parent (the super-powered Sanders clan — constantly troubled by every facet of the law).

Chubby space-time continuum bending Hiro Nakamura is kidnapped by his newly introduced father. Even the show’s powerless middleman, Mohinder Suresh, is drawn to New York City in order to follow the footsteps of his deceased father.

The show forces the notion of a full family unit, kids and all. When psychic cop Matt Parkman faces a six-month suspension from the police force, his marriage is saved when he finds out that his wife is pregnant via telepathy.

And let us not forget that special talents are hereditary in the “Heroes” universe.

Claire’s biological mother is a fire starter, and her real father is the flight-enabled Nathan Petrelli.

On the other end, there is the show’s all-consuming su-

Photo courtesy: heroestheseries.com

Sixteen-year-old Hayden Panettiere as Claire Bennet gives the audience of “Heroes” a whole lot of cheerleader appeal to love. per villain, Sylar. He explains in the flashback episode, “Six Months Ago,” that his lust for power comes from a want to escape the tedium of the family business — a need to feel special. Naturally, Sylar

decides that going on a killing spree and absorbing other superpowers is the only way to feed that craving. The less than subtle insinuation here see HEROES page 12

Arts & Entertainment The Trail

March 23, 2007

Grudge Match: Leo vs. Bird • New indie rock CDs go head-to-head

By Jeff Merrion jmerrion@ups.edu A&E Writer

Seeing as how both Ted Leo and Andrew Bird are heavyweights of indie rock, I thought that the best way to review the new albums from each would be to examine them through the lens of a boxing match. While my knowledge of boxing is limited to say the least, I do know the basics: men pummel each other senseless in what appears to be a lawless battle of brutality. Also, it is frowned upon to bite off the other competitor’s ear.

So let us imagine Ted Leo in one corner of the ring, and Andrew Bird in the other. Do not let the apparent scrawniness of the men fool you – in heavyweight indie rock boxing, the scrawnier the better.

After stumbling out of the gate a little at the beginning with a silly noise collage, Ted Leo’s new album, “Living With the Living,� delivers a strong opening punch with some of Ted’s trademark highly energetic power-pop.

Even a glance at the song titles of the album (“Bomb.

Repeat. Bomb� and “Third World War�) reveal it to be unapologetically political.

Ted Leo is pissed off, and he wants us to know about it, and he does, with some overtly angry and antagonizing language towards the administration throughout the album. One of the most effective parts of Ted Leo’s political lyrics is that he does not bother shrouding them behind a veil of vagueness.

The only problem with the album is that the songs with the best lyrics are often the weakest musically, especially “Bomb. Repeat. Bomb,� which sounds like watereddown hardcore with non-melodic verses and loses further points for having silly sound effects at the end.

Other stylistic experiments on the album fare better. Ted and the Pharmacists drop some reggae grooves on the song “Unwanted Things,�

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4HE ,IVES OF /THERS

Disclaimer: This column contains sexually explicit material that some readers may find offensive. The Trail does not neccessarily endorse or condone participation in such acts.

Lights out with Liz • Sexually Transmitted Diseases Part 2: CHWS, STDs and You

By Liz LumiĂŠre

lightsoutwithliz@gmail.com

Sex Columnist

If you read the last edition of Lights Out with Liz, you are aware of the most common STDs and their symptoms.

Now, if you can answer “yes� to any one of the following questions, you should consider being tested for one or more STDs.

photo coutesy: andrewbird.net

Andrew Bird guzzles coffee to keep his quirky creativity flowing.

which is actually one of the best on the album.

All in all, Ted is a great pop songwriter, and the songs that let his melodic sense stretch fare the best. While it loses points for cribbing its introduction note for note from the Goo Goo Dolls’ “Slide,� the song “A Bottle of Buckie� gains credit by having an Irish pennywhistle solo.

Luckily, the album is chockfull of such songs that are fun, cleverly arranged and lyrically intelligent. “Living With the Living� is probably Ted Leo’s most consistent, and certainly one of the most enjoyable albums I have heard in a while.

Over in the other corner of the indie rock boxing ring we have Andrew Bird, the incredible multi-instrumentalist who at live shows often plays guitar, whistle and xylophone at the same time. How will Andrew fare against Ted Leo’s energetic power-pop?

He is the underdog in this indie rock boxing match. His songs are quiet, intricately layered and require more time to digest than Ted Leo’s instantly accessi 3 &AWCETT !VE ble pop anthems.

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11

opens with its only weak track, “Fiery Crash,� which sounds generic compared to the rest of the album. After this stumble, Bird recovers with the song “Imitosis,� which proves that Bird is perhaps the only performer who could write a song that mentions Pynchon, Bunsen burners and mushroom spores without sounding pretentious. “Armchair Apocrypha� is beautifully arranged, full of Bird’s gorgeous violin and expressive whistle (he can make his whistle sound like anything from a Theremin to a birdsong) and on the album’s best track, piano. The first five songs on the album are precursors to the centerpiece, “Armchairs.�

After a minute of foggy, atmospheric violins, the song gets going with staggered piano and a gorgeous arpeggiated guitar line. “Armchairs� is a poignant rumination on lost love due to its creative lyrics: “I dreamt you were a cosmonaut of the space between our chairs, and I was a cartographer of the tangles in your hair.� The seven-minute epic builds up to an incredibly powerful crescendo with Bird singing towards the top of his register, “You didn’t write, you didn’t call.�

This is the kind of album that is easy to review, because it is wonderful. Musically creative, lyrically poignant and emotionally diverse, “Armchair Apocrypha� is one of the best albums I have heard in recent years. Get it now.

So this match-up of indie rock boxing ends with Ted Leo dejectedly spitting into that large spittoon that boxers have in their corners. While his fun and accessible album is a joy to listen to, it just cannot compare to the intricate series of uppercuts and hooks provided by the diverse fun of Andrew Bird’s “Armchair Apocrypha.�

• Jeff Merrion is going to be the next Rocky Balboa. Just you wait and see.

•Are you sexually active? •Do you value your health and your partner’s health? •Have you had unprotected sex? •Have you had more than one sexual partner? •Do you have symptoms of an STD?

entire Malibu Barbie Line (God only knows where those dolls have been).

Suddenly, Barbie is at risk, even though she is 110% faithful to Ken. Hopefully Barbie goes to CHWS and gets herself checked out.

CHWS can test for trichomaniasis, gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, herpes (type 1 and type 2), HIV and Hepatitis B. They can also test women for highrisk HPV and now carry the HPV vaccine.

While the appointment at CHWS is free, specific tests have a fee. The fees range from $10 for a syphilis test to $75 for herpes testing.

See the CHWS website for more cost information.

Oh no! Barbie has herpes! CHWS will notify her confidentially and offer treatment for both Barbie and Ken (but only if Ken is a UPS student too). Students can pay for testing and treatment with cash, check, or have the fees billed to their student account.

If Barbie chooses to tack the cost onto her student account, the actual service and treatment provided will remain totally anonymous.

The bill will simply read “CHWS Services� and the dollar amount (so Barbie can go ahead and tell her mom she had strep throat). “Even one student who does not understand the risks is one student too many,� said Glick.

According to Glick, there are still students who mistakenly believe that condoms guarantee protection against STDs and she also refers to a student who mistakenly thought STDs could not be transmitted through oral sex.

If Barbie had known gonorrhea can be spread through oral sex, maybe she would have told Ken to wear a condom.

Simple, affordable, and smart.

If you have engaged in risky behavior, do not put yourself or your partner(s) at risk by avoiding being tested for STDs.

So you answer “yes� to one or more of the above questions; have you been tested? You ought to be.

Schedule an appointment with the university’s Counseling, Health and Wellness Services for STD testing.

You can schedule an appointment by calling campus extension 1555, or by visiting the office upstairs in the SUB. Testing is simple, affordable, and most importantly, smart.

Melissa Glick, a CHWS physician assistant, explains that at an average appointment, a student will see a physician’s assistant, a nurse practitioner or a doctor, and will complete a brief discussion of sexual history.

The health care provider will address the questions above, then ask if you sleep with men, women, or both.

They will also address your sexual health history (i.e.

CHWS will need to know if you have had an STD before). It is also important that you are aware of your partner’s sexual history as well.

Think about it: Barbie is only sleeping with Ken, but Ken has one too many beers and gets freaky with Stacey and Skipper in Barbie’s Jeep (oops, how old is Skipper supposed to be?). Sta• Liz was nicknamed “Dr. cey and Skipper have both Strangelove or How I Learned gotten hot and heavy with To Stop Worrying and Love the Bombâ€? in high school.

Mitch, who has boinked the

Fri 23rd- Wed 28th DreamGirls Nightly @ 7:00 pm Sat & Sun Matinee @ 4:00 pm Rated PG-13  Sat 24th & Sun 25th Matinee ONLY Happy Feet 1:30 pm Rated PG  Thursday March 29th Tacoma Sister Cities International Film Festival The Return  Doors open 5:45 pm Russia  Rocky Horror Picture Show Saturday @ 11:30 pm

Arts & Entertainment 12

Uncovering zany Facebook groups

The Trail

March 23, 2007

Heroes

cont. from page

10

By David Lev dlev@ups.edu A&E Writer

Spend endless hours deciding which description best fits you or your friends.

And if you think that that is a pointless waste of time, Facebook: we are all ad- at least it passes the time betdicted to it. Those of us who ter than reading the Combat otherwise are just pretentious Zone. fools who think they are better than the rest of us. Trust 3. “The Game:” This me, I am a journalist. group has the rules for the So what do we do while on Game, which is not a rapper this incredible website? We of any kind. In fact, it barely ask people we barely know to counts as a game. The rules be our friends, we post pho- are as follows (quoted from tos of our latest dorm room the group description): beer party and we join groups – lots of groups.

Rules of the Game Facebook groups are an 1. The name of The Game odd thing. They are basically is “The Game.” the equivalent of old sitcom 2. Once you know about episodes on the TV: a fan- The Game, you start playing tastically amusing waste of The Game. time.

3. Once you start playing Some groups are to show The Game, you cannot stop that you support some cause, playing The Game. like gay rights, abortion, 4. If you think of The Game, Barack Obama, or Nazism. you lose The Game.

Others are essentially fan 5. If you lose The Game, clubs for everything from you must publicly announce good grammar to Dr. Who that you lost The Game. to whatever state you happen to be from (Oregon rocks, by Special Provisions the way).

6. You cannot lose The There are personal in- Game by someone else dijokes, which all seem to fea- rectly referencing the words ture titles like “Peabody High “The Game.”

School Debate Team – Yes 7. You have a 30 minute We Have Cheese” or “Help grace period to forget The Break Ted Out of Jail.” And Game after you or someone then there are ones that are else lost The Game. just weird.

8. You can never win The These will be the focus of Game. my article today. Here, for your reading pleasure, I have 4. People for the Successcompiled a list of odd Face- ful Hatred of Absolutely book groups that you should Everything: Pretty much investigate and then join. what it sounds like. This is a Of course, you do not have group for complete and utter to join them. But if you do misanthropes. not, then at least in one tiny Having a bad day? Then area, I will be cooler than post your frustration here. you. And we do not want You will not get any sympathat, now do we? thy (in fact the other members will probably call you a 1. World Peace Would Be pansy and tell you to go and Resolved If Giraffes Had do something unpleasant to Mustaches: This one is so yourself), but it is still mighty odd I am not sure I can ex- cathartic. plain it. So I will just have to rely on the group descrip5. Banning guns would tion: be sweet if everyone had to “Just hear me out on this fight with samurai swords: one. Let us say giraffes had The title pretty much speaks mustaches, the type that twirl for itself. Swords are so fricon the end, and as a result kin’ sweet. they spoke in a French accent. Mix that with the in6. I Was Once a Fetus: herent coolness factor of gi- Pretty much everyone on raffes, and I truly believe that Facebook would qualify for everyone would realize that this, so they should join. Hey, there is no reason to fight.” it is the one thing we all have I mean come on. Is that in common, and we should awesome or is that awesome? celebrate it.

Surrealism is an important part of any balanced websurf7. Nuke the Gay Whale ing diet, after all.

Babies: Why? To quote the group description, “because 2. Summary of 99% of the we drive our big-ass trucks people you will ever meet and like our guns.” Do you in college: This one takes a need anything else? while to read through, but it is a good waste of time. Basi8. I Love Boobies: A fan cally, it is a long list of stere- group for lovers of that most otypical individuals that you awesome of birds, the bluewill encounter or become in footed booby. What did you college. think it was about?

Examples include “The One Hit Wonder” (the guy So, that is it then. Have fun who only ever makes one glo- wasting time on Facebook, rious contribution to a class, instead of doing that big reand then never talks again), port or hanging out with real “The Biological Weapon” friends or doing something (who comes to class sick), else worthwhile. and, my personal favorite, • David Lev is a member of 231 “The Kid That F*cking No Facebook groups. Yes, he actually is that much of a loser.

One Likes.”

photo courtesy: heroestheseries.com

The cast of “Heroes” gazes in twenty different directions. What the hell are they looking at anyway? is that turning your back on family will lead you down the wrong path or, at the very least, turn you into a serial killer.

Ted Sprague, the Exploding Man, is an even more concrete example. After accidentally killing his wife from the uncontrolled radiation he emits, Sprague escapes police custody and vows to avenge his wife. His powers will no doubt be the cause of the nuclear explosion in New York, although it is still unclear how.

Still, much of the struggle comes from the conflict of interest between family members.

Mr. Bennet continues to hide the facts from his daughter, even resorting to erasing her memory (which, luckily, does not get carried through by the Haitian). Nathan is constantly thwarting Peter’s attempt to understand the

reason behind their gifts, pretending the situation does not exist, destroying Isaac’s revealing paintings, et cetera. While Mr. Bennet and Nathan Petrelli’s motivations are, to them, in the best interest of their loved ones, it is this very notion of protection that prevents Claire and Peter from discovering the reasoning and potential behind their powers.

In the most recent episode, “Parasite,” Claire runs off to New York City to find Peter, but instead finds his mother.

As it turns out, Mrs. Petrelli, previously introduced as a background character, has a central role in the plot’s orchestration.

I will admit some of the show’s storylines are weaker than others, and often times, the writing feels forced and overdramatic, but “Heroes” formidably enforces themes that illustrate the relationship

a resort, a destination mountain,” said UPS senior and Ski Patrolman John Gately.

“Alpental is less corporate, more local and we would rather keep it that way.”

A big draw for many skiers is in its 500+ acres of backcountry mountain, all of which is accessible from its Edelweiss Chair. All hopeful riders have to get a no-charge “backcountry card” from the Ski Patrol in order to get in though, as it is mostly expertlevel terrain.

For a more mellow time, your $46 lift ticket will also admit you to Snoqualmie’s other three peaks – Summit

East, Central and West. These house the summit’s groomed runs, terrain parks and gentler bowls, which make it a popular spot for intermediates and families.

Gately claims that Alpental, due to its lower elevation, is getting more rain into the spring, which is hurting snow conditions. But its base is still good, and if you act quickly, you can catch Alpental in the sun for some great spring skiing. Check snow conditions at www.summitatsnoqualmie.com.

Grab your helmets and avalanche beacons, and head out to Alpental to try to not die.

Skiing

between the American hero and American family.

Always solitary, the traditional American hero stands up for good in the face of evil. The show sets out to reconstruct this notion of heroism. “Heroes’” characters are flawed and relatable. It is when they have the support of friends and, more importantly, family that these heroes are able to overcome the supernatural adversities they face. It is in this way that “Heroes” exchanges our ideas of the traditional American hero for the importance of the American family.

I challenge “Lost” or “24” to tackle a moral like that.

“Heroes” is currently on a post-sweeps hiatus and will return with new episodes on April 23.

• Kevin Nguyen urges you to catch up oh all the episodes of “Heroes,” which can be streamed for free on the NBC website. cont. from page 10 To Alpental: Take I-5 N towards Seattle. Merge onto WA-18 via exit 142A towards Auburn/N Bend for 30 mi.

Take I-90 E towards Spokane for 25 mi. Take the WA-906 exit 52 to W Summit, turn right at WA-906.

We have only so much time. That snow is melting by the minute. Soon enough, the season of forearm snow burns and goggle-tans will be lost forever, or at least (at least!) for ten months (ten!).

So stop reading. Get in your car. There is fun to be had!

• Travis McNamara has a funburn. On an unrelated note, he is also a deerhoof.

The A&E Section presents

The 2nd Annual Mix CD Contest Grand Prize:

2 Runners-up:

$10 gift cards to iTunes

$30 Gift Card to Border’s �

1. Make a Mix CD

Rules:

�

3.Include a track 2. Drop it in the “Mix CD Contest” listing, your name, Box at the info desk and email

Combat Zone March 23, 2007

The Trail

Lights on with Larry

• A fair and balanced perspective on sex and not having any

By Larry Nogo Lack-of-Sex Columnist

What is sex? How can anyone ever know if/when it is “appropriate?” In this world, can one truly be certain that sex is ever wrong? For example, is it immoral or “sinful” to have sex with your girlfriend? What about your sister? What if they happen to be the same person?

All tough questions, right?

Wrong!

Contrary to the pornographic rhetoric of a certain Trail tramp (who, by the way, I hear isn’t even a certified sex therapist (!), which makes her muff diving techniques speculative at best) sex is neither complicated nor ambiguous. In fact, it can be divided into two general categories: “good sex” and “bad sex.”

“Good sex” is existential.

It requires that there be a quadruple orgasm of the heart, mind, body and spirit … and no diseases/children as a result. After all, pregnancy is the worst STD you can get. That’s why we at the Combat Zone advocate a revolutionary perspective on sex: abstinence.

Now ladies, I know you’re probably thinking that abstinence is only for girls who want to save themselves for Jesus. The reality is, for countless guys, abstinence is a major turn on. Whether they’re dismembered Jihadists in Paradise, or David Bowie fans, trust me: there is nothing sexier to a man than a woman who will not have sex with him. It’s all about the chase isn’t it? Hence the

old saying: there’s nothing like a restraining order to make the heart grow fonder.

(Editors note: Larry collects restraining orders like baseball cards. He’s still missing Hilary Rodham Clinton, and the ever, ever rare Janet Reno.)

But how does one keep from caving in to carnal temptation?

Well, the first step is to join a “non-denominational” super church with an acoustic guitar choir. They’ll eventually kick you out for being a sexless freak incapable of having a meaningful relationship with someone (or at least that’s what happened to me at my church in Utah.)

However, while I was there, I was constantly reminded that sex is the most filthy, painful, satanic experience you will ever regret, which is why I promised to save it for someone I loved – or at least my future wife. I also attended fun-filled Christian sex speak-outs featuring puppets with names like “Speedy the Sperm” and “Horace the Abortion Hippo.” (Handjobs from handpuppets isn’t sex … is it?) On Wednesdays I heard testimonies from “reformed homosexuals” who used their faith in our scantily clad, muscularly toned messiah on the cross to find inspiration to turn the other cheek and ask for a second paddling. The point is that after talking about sex to the point of obsession, I came to associate the vagina with the “do not press” button on an office elevator. Seriously, why would anyone want to press that?

Headlines in Brief Flying Monkeys attack Biology Students as research continues Spartans fight off hundreds of Hippies in Schiff Breezeway World of Warcraft banned by DEA, players seen clutching orc dolls, crying

Secondly, stop reading The Trail. After that aformentioned harbinger of temptation wormed her way into an A&E column, which is already more contagious than Chlamydia, The Trail is no longer safe for chaste minds. What Liz has basically done, is transfer all this esoteric, classified information (like how to stimulate this mythical ‘clitoris’), from exclusive files buried deep within Google and brought them to print. The reason why people posted this stuff on the internet instead of in a newspaper is because they wanted people to believe in this unicorn myth of sexual satisfaction. These people are sexual astrologists, with no more credibility than Miss Cleo.

And lastly, train your mind to stave off arousal. For men, this can be accomplished by: soaking your genitals in cold water, picturing your naked grandmother, doing calculus, reciting the pledge of allegiance, narwhals, or thinking about that sexy, British devil Margaret Thatcher.

For women, this job isn’t as hard. They are rarely, if ever aroused, and if so only at the sight of powdered wigs, which really went out of style centuries ago.

With these tips, you too can remain sex-free, and enjoy the thrills of lonely nights, alone, building a fort of stuffed animals on your waterbed, while your mother bakes cookies.

Peace be with you.

• Larry thinks about Britney Spears when fighting arousal.

The whole Holocaust survivor hair cut really gets him.

March Madness strikes campus, several killed by falling brackets Business Major found sober, Cuervo stock plummets

13

How to make Spring Break Better: photos Left:

The latest idiotic sport to emerge on the scene is car surfing. Though it has yet to catch on in the balmy Tacoma climate, we’re told it’s quite popular in southern California.

Below:

ASUPS PHOTOSERVICES/Emily Hearst

Ah, the true symbol of a college education. Using what you learned in Theatrical Experience as inspiration to shame your friends who passed out from the ‘Champagne of Beers.’

ASUPS PHOTOSERVICES/ JEN SCHMIDT

Right:

There really isn’t much to say about this photo, except we’re pretty sure the parties involved hope it won’t get posted on facebook. Keep hoping kids, keep hoping.

CHWS now prescribing Valium to aid with sleep withdrawal PBR popular, Hipsters now drink Natty

Below:

Okay, that’s just creepy.

Really, really creepy.

ASUPS PHOTOSERVICES/ anonymous

ASUPS PHOTOSERVICES/ JEN SCHMIDT Disclaimer: The Combat Zone is a work of satire and does not reflect the views or opinions of The Trail, its staff or the administration. In fact, the Combat Zone doesn’t really represent the opinions of anyone. Please send complaints to trail@ups.edu.

Sports The Trail

March 23, 2007

14

Softball owns Californians

By Jess Columbo jcolumbo@ups.edu Sports Writer

The Logger softball team was working hard this week, battling Linfield twice then flying to Orange County to tournament with some of California’s best. Although their batting couldn’t compare to the hard hitting Wildcats. UPS fared well down south, going 6-1 in the Sun West Tournament play. Their only loss came to #13 ranked Chapman University.

UPS was 4-0 on the season coming into last Saturday’s away game against Linfield.

And through the first two innings, both teams battled, giving and gaining no runs off of few hits. It wasn’t until third and fourth that Wildcat bats really lit up. Off of a combined five singles, one stolen base, and one Logger error, the inning ended with Linfield leading 5-0.

Unfortunately, their aggressive offense only gained momentum into the fourth, when the Wildcats started swinging big. Linfield nailed three singles, two doubles, and a triple. A walk and a Logger error sealed their opponent’s victory. The game ended by a disappointing score of 0-13.

The second game of the day proved even less successful for UPS. Again, the Loggers held off the Wildcat offense until the third and fourth innings. Linfield bombarded the UPS defense with singles and doubles. A passed ball allowed another score, and multiple walks gave up easy

Baseball

to prevent the Loggers from picking up the series sweep, 6-3.

UPS lost the first game 713, but Newland and UPS came back with a vengeance.

With a combined seven RBIs in two games, Newland led the Loggers past Lewis & Clark, 10-8 and 8-7.

The afternoon started out with the play resuming in the third inning of Saturday’s second game. The Pioneers had worked their way into a 5-2 lead after two innings but the Loggers didn’t let Lewis & Clark hold on to the advantage very long, scoring five runs on two hits and three errors in the bottom of the inning to push ahead 7-5.

Asups photoservices/daniel adler

Dusty Kauflin tossing a strike.

runs to the opponent. The Loggers couldn’t make contact themselves, and the game ended 0-15.

Sunday Mar. 11, UPS had another try at the strong Wildcat squad. This time they wouldn’t go down without a fight. Although Linfield showed another solid day at the plate, UPS came out quick with a 2-run homerun by senior Lindsay Fujita. The rest of the Logger team couldn’t back up Fujita’s connection, and the third Linfield game ended 2-12.

The Loggers showed strength and tenacity in their last game of the series against the Wildcats. Not to be deterred by their previous meetings, freshman Hilary Rice started the game off with a solid double to left field. After Fujita was hit by a pitch, senior Annie Buxton followed up with a single, and the inning concluded with two UPS runs.

Linfield couldn’t answer until the fourth when they tied the score. But the same Loggers showed up at the plate in the fifth inning; Rice singled, Fujita walked and Buxton singled. Adding to the mix, junior Valerie Barone doubled to right center, and UPS finished the inning up by three runs.

The eighth inning was a heartbreaker for the Loggers, as their battle ended with a Linfield double to finish the game. Despite a valiant effort, UPS finished the afternoon with a score of 5-6.

The next week, the Loggers had a fresh start down in California at the Sun West

The Pios tied it up again in the top of the fifth but Newland singled through the left side to score Austin Kuehn in the bottom of the inning to give UPS the 8-7 lead.

The Loggers added an additional run in the sixth when AJ Jorg grounded out to shortstop, allowing Chris Dunbar to score after Dunbar opened the inning with a triple to left field. Lewis & Clark got within one run in the top of the seventh but UPS answered back yet again when Dunbar hit a sacrifice fly to center to score Newland and give the Loggers their eventual 10-8 win. Freshman Dusty Kauflin pitched well in the game, allowing three runs on eight hits in four innings to collect the win. Zach Green earned the save, allowing just one hit and striking out three in two and one-third innings pitched. Jordon Smiley took the loss for the Pioneers, allowing eight runs, just three earned, on nine hits and walking five Logger batters in five innings pitched.

In the second game of the day, Lewis & Clark again jumped out to the early lead, putting two runs on the board in the top of the second but Puget Sound answered back when Pete Marcek doubled down the left field line to score Dunbar and Beck and

Tournament. It was an exhausting week for the ladies who played seven games in four days. Their first game was against SUNY Cortland State University out of New York. And this time, the Logger offense showed up. UPS came out strong in the fifth inning. Barone doubled, Rice and senior Meghan Watson singled, and junior Victoria Raeburn homered for three additional runs. Cortland’s offense couldn’t answer until it was too late. On an unearned score from a UPS error in the bottom of the seventh inning, they gained their one run, but the game had already been settled. UPS won 5-1.

Next were the home team Occidental College. After a quick three runs batted in in the first inning, Occidental came back with two in the third. But the fourth inning was batting practice for the UPS, who, with a little help from opponent errors, batted in double digit runs. Raeburn slammed another homer for two RBI, senior Brie Adderley doubled to left center for an additional three, and junior Lauren Shatz came up big with two singles. Occidental attempted a comeback at the bottom of the fifth, but the deal was closed, UPS finished on top 13-3.

Thursday Mar. 15, the Loggers took on the University of Wisconsin-Platteville. They proved a weak adversary to as UPS gained momentum.

The third inning the Loggers shined by way of Buxton double, Fujita single, and another

See SOFTBALL page 15

continued from page

16

knot things up at two runs each. After a single Pioneer run in the top of the third, Newland hit a two-run bomb to left field, also scoring Kuehn, to give the Loggers back the lead. Not to be outdone, Beck hit a solo jack in the very next at-bat to push the Logger lead to two runs.

After two more L&C runs in the fifth, Newland went deep again, this time to center field to bring home Michael Olsen and give UPS a 7-5 lead. Newland collected his fifth RBI of the game in the sixth inning when he singled to left field to score Tim Steggall. Lewis & Clark added two more runs in the top of the ninth but Chris Owens got the Pios to ground into a series-ending double play as UPS took the third game, 87, and the series, 2-1. Ryan Gustafson, who was the original starter in Saturday’s second game, picked up the win, allowing five runs on seven hits and striking out four in five innings pitched. Owens earned the save, allowing two runs on three hits in four innings pitched.

The Loggers will hit the road this week, traveling to PLU on Wednesday and then to George Fox next weekend for a three-game series.

• Chris Thompson is a giver.

Women’s golf team treats invitational like a cakewalk

By Mackenzie Morton mmorton@ups.edu Sports Writer

On March 19, the UPS women’s golf team had a convincing win at the Willamette Invitational with a team score of 686.

The golf tournament was played on the beautiful OGA Golf Course in Woodburn, Ore. “It was a beautiful day to play,” Kristine Juhola said.

“It was nice because the Northwest doesn’t always give you those kinds of days.”

However, some of the members on the women’s team didn’t appreciate OGA’s beauty quite so much.

“This course is real tough on me,” senior Adrienne Parrish said. “There is hazard that comes into play on just about every hole and it makes it a very difficult course to play.”

Despite the difficulty, the Loggers came up with consistent play on both days posting a 345 on the first day and a 341 on the second day.

Asups photoservWith a ices/paul wicks combined Adrienne Parrish score of 686 they won by a huge margin; second-place Whitworth was 28 strokes behind them.

“We are one point behind Willamette in the conference. They are our biggest competition so this was a really good win for us,” Parrish said.

Senior Emily Lau pace the Logger’s first place tournament finish. On the opening day of the tournament she posted a 79 but was even more impressive on the second day finishing with a 76.

Asups photoservices/paul wicks

Emily Lau driving to first place.

Lau’s scores were only matched by Willamette’s Whitney Ueno, both had a two-day total of 155.

Juhola came in second place in team score with two 88’s leading to a round total of 176. It was a personal best in her Logger career.

The women’s golf teams in the NWC recently switched to a new scoring system for the conference championships. The scoring system gives a point for every team beaten in a designated conference tournament, with the conference championships counting for double.

This particular tournament was not one of the tournaments that count for the conference standings but Juhola and the Loggers believe it still carries significance.

“It’s another stepping stone in building confidence as we move toward the Spring Classic on at the end of March,” Juhola said.

“If our team keeps performing at this level we have every possibility of winning the conference,” Parrish said.

With that mentality, UPS looks to gain momentum in their conference schedule season as they travel back down to Oregon for the Pacific Invitational on Mar. 24 and 25 at Quail Valley and Pumpkin Ridge.

•Mackenzie Morton spent her break in the sun, it was toasty warm.

Sports March 23, 2007

The Trail

15

Men and women’s tennis turn up heat during break

By Brandon Henry bhenry@ups.edu Sports Writer

Spring break was kind to the Logger tennis teams, as both the men and women swept the state of Oregon 3-0. The men’s team, currently sitting in fourth place in the conference at 6-6, hosted Lewis & Clark and Willamette the first weekend of break, winning by scores of 6-3 and 5-4, respectively.

In their only match last weekend the men traveled to George Fox, winning 6-3.

The team won five of their six singles matches, but recorded only one win by doubles. The winning doubles team consisted of Andrew Neal and Kei Sato.

Junior Nick Amland explained why the team was more successful in the singles matches.

“Singles is definitely our strength, that’s what will keep us in the running for conference. We had a tough time at L&C because we didn’t win as many singles matches as we’d anticipated. We need to spend some time concentrat-

Women’s Ball

individuals. UPS battled as one throughout the year and was able to secure a high seed in the NWC tournament and a share of the NWC title. But George Fox stood in their way.

George Fox denied the Loggers their NWC championship and automatic berth by beating UPS twice during the regular season and then again in the NWC title game.

It was obvious to the experts that UPS couldn’t handle the schemes of Scott Rueck, voted NWC coach of the year, or the play of George Fox’s impressive trio of Robin Taylor, Katy Campbell and Melissa Marek-Farris, who all averaged more points per game than any individual Logger.

Track

ing specifically on our doubles play, which is entirely different from singles,” Amland said.

After playing a hectic schedule to open the season, the team now has three weeks before their next match, which should give them time to hammer out some kinks.

“The only thing we lack in our doubles play is experience playing together,” Amland said. “It’s important to be in sync with your partner, which only comes with time and practice. We have great singles players, it’s just hard to make that transition to doubles. We’ll spend this time to work on our weaknesses and get better as a team.”

The women’s tennis squad is sitting pretty at second place in conference with a 91 record, their only loss coming at the hands of a now-depleted Linfield team.

The first weekend of break the Loggers stormed through Oregon, winning 7-2 at Lewis & Clark and 5-0 at Willamette. The team was short players because of break, and therefore was forced to forfeit matches. The match began with doubles play, of But the Loggers were granted an at-large bid to the NCAA’s because one of those experts finally got it right. One of the experts must have seen that Morgan Harter was ready to explode for 19 points as UPS downed 12ranked McMurry, with their All-American center Tarra Richardson and fourth-team All-American guard Symbri Tuttle, in the first round of the tournament. They must have known UPS would dominate the affair, holding the Indians to 27 percent shooting and winning by 12 points.

One of those basketball gurus must have also heard that Karen Chase would pull down six offensive boards over George Fox’s Marek-

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Men’s 400m dash with a distance of 43 feet, 5 inches time of 51.42. Van Sant finished second in the triple consistently runs with power jump. and authority and although The Loggers had a strong he finished in third place, he outing as they clinched ran like a champion. Sopho- placements in a variety of more Isaac Blum finished events. The Loggers show in third place for the men’s determination and discipline 100m dash with a time of to improve even more and 11.29 seconds, and finished perform at a championship third in the 200m dash with level in their next event on a time of 23.12.

March 23 at 2 p.m. at the In the throwing events, jun- University of Puget Sound. ior A.J. Middleton finished • Mike Jones hates spring. second place in the shotput with a throw of 48 feet, 4.5 inches and sophomore Greg Bailey finished second in the hammer throw with a distance of 141 feet, 7 inches.

The jumping event was also characterized by second place Asups photoservices/nicole Marshall as senior Brian Kramer with a A.J. Middleton gets pumped to toss.

asups photoservices/nick kiest

Jamie Hosmer serves an ace. which the Loggers won three matches.

“We needed two wins from singles,” Senior Katie Russell said. “Courtney Dunham won 6-0, 6-1 before most of us had even started our matches.

I went up 6-0, 4-0 when it started to rain. The coaches told the Willamette girl we could suspend the match but she agreed to keep playing and I won the second set 60. The rain was coming down by this point, and they had to Farris and Campbell, and play stellar defense alongside her frontcourt mates to hold the duo well below their season averages in points scored as UPS came away with their first victory over the Bruins, the only one that mattered.

And finally, one of the hoops heralds had to have known that Suzy Barcomb, the West Region’s coach of the year, would find a way to knock off arguably the best team in the nation, the only team to receive a first round bye, the second-ranked Howard Payne.

So say UPS’ run wasn’t as magnificent as teams like George Mason, whose name will ever be etched in the minds of die-hard college bas-

Softball

hit to left field by sophomore Kelli Ishii. Smart base running aided the cause, and the ladies came out of the inning up 4-0.

Platteville had no offensive game and further helped Logger efforts by throwing wild pitches in the fourth, which contributed to an additional 2 runs for UPS. The rest of the game was back and forth with no scoring and it ended in a Logger victory by a score of 6-0.

Up next was #13 ranked Chapman University, who proved to be a challenge for the Loggers. Although UPS did some work at the plate, they couldn’t convert to runs, and Chapman came out swinging. Their first inning was a success, with a two-run homerun, which took some wind out of the Logger sails.

Chapman really honed in at bat in the sixth inning though, and UPS fell apart. With two wild pitches, three errors and a walk, it seemed the Logger defense was handing over the

call the match, but not before we had gotten the scores we needed to win.”

The girls were still shorthanded against George Fox and Pacific the second weekend of break, but still managed to win each match by a score of 6-3.

“Our team is almost all about seniors, so we’re used to dealing with adversity,” Russell said. “We have seven girls graduating this year, so it’ll be a whole new team next year. So if you know people who play, tell them to come out with us. Right now we’re playing to try and topple Linfield. They’ve always been the major conference power, but they’re missing some girls to injury and I think that we’ll take them the next time we meet. The conference tournament is seeded, and finishing first and getting that one seed would be nice. If we win, we can keep Linfield from going to Nationals.”

The girls travel to Linfield and PLU next weekend after a short break.

• Brandon Henry spent spring break with Russell Howe. No one really know why.

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ketball fans. You wouldn’t be alone as stories about amazing teams like our women’s basketball team continue to go untold.

Go ahead and state that women’s basketball is boring. Say that you’re a basketball expert that finds men’s college basketball head over heels more uptempo and exciting. But next year, I urge you experts to come out to take a gander at these UPS women.

But be careful, because these Loggers are ready to prove you wrong. Congratulations, you’ve made a believer out of at least one of the former experts, and I can’t wait to see just how far you can go.

• Will Holden spent spring break with some thieves, oops.

win. No UPS scoring left the score at 8-0.

Macalester College came up against the Loggers the next afternoon, March 16.

With a single up the middle and a follow-up single down the left line, Macalester took the lead early by one run.

UPS answered quickly with a single to right field and an RBI by Shatz. It was back and forth the rest of the day until a Raeburn single which brought in senior Jessica Roberts in the bottom of the seventh, clenching the UPS win. The Loggers defeated Macalester by a score of 2-1.

The last day of tournament play gave UPS another opportunity to face SUNY-Cortland University. Again, the Loggers at bat were too much for the Cortland defense and UPS put away their opponents 7-1.

In the final game, UPS played Augsburg College out of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The Loggers came out strong in the first with a few singles, and aided by an Augsburg

California not so kind to women’s UPS lacrosse team

By Joe Engler jengler@ups.edu Assistant Sports Editor The women’s lacrosse team traveled to California to play in four contests over spring break. The Loggers picked up only one win during the stretch, an 18-12 victory over Whittier on March 15.

The team’s first opponent was Redlands on March 15.

The 13-20 non-conference loss was a hard-fought contest. The score stayed close for most the game until late in the second half when the Bulldogs notched the last five goals to pull away.

When the Loggers traveled to Whittier the next day, they took the offensive. With a 31-21 shots advantage, UPS tallied nine goals in both periods to seal the win. The Loggers were led in scoring by freshman Karen Hansen with seven goals, followed by sophomore Jessica Knight who tacked on five more.

The next game took UPS to Claremont Mudd Scripps College in Claremont on March 16. UPS was not able to muster much of an attack and failed to repeat their win falling to the Stags 20-6.

UPS was handed a fourth and final loss of the trip by Pomona-Pitzer with a 9-7 defeat on March 18. Again the Loggers struggled to score goals, but their defense kept the game close.

The Loggers will get a shot at revenge in their next two games when both Whittier College and Claremont Mudd-Scripps College travel to Tacoma on April 6 and 8.

The games will be played on East Athletic field at 2 p.m. and 1 p.m.

• Joe Engler spent spring break in sin city, now he must go to confession.

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asups photoservices/Emily Hearst

Adrian Herlache and UPS dominated California. wild pitch, they finished the inning up two runs. After more Augsburg help and an RBI by freshman Amelia Kurashige in the sixth, the Loggers finished out their tournament with a win 5-0.

Sunday March 25 UPS faces Saint Martins in Olympia at noon and hopes to continue their strong play.

• Jess Columbo spent spring break ordering salads from room service at six in the morn.

Sports The Trail

March 23, 2007

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UPS falls to Washington University in elite eight

• Amazing run by Loggers comes to an end

By Sam Kussin-Shoptaw sshoptaw@ups.edu Sports Writer

The UPS women’s basketball team finished an amazing postseason March 10 with a 57-48 loss to Washington University (Mo.) in Iowa.

The Loggers were playing in the Elite Eight round of the championship tournament following their huge upset of Howard Payne 47-44 just two days prior.

The Lady Loggers came to Iowa playing for a national championship, but the reputation and national ranking (second in the country) of Howard Payne made them seem a formidable foe.

In order to defeat the Yellow Jackets, the Loggers employed superior rebounding skills and watertight defense that allowed for easy transition buckets. The defense, in fact, was so strong at shaking Howard Payne from its usual rhythm that the Yellow Jackets finished the game having shot a poor 23.7% from the field.

The defeat of Howard Payne turned some heads in Iowa. First Team All Northwest Conference junior Laura Hirsch, who led UPS with 10 points, felt that, “It was a great atmosphere in Iowa. Luther University (the hosting team) had an awesome crowd, who were there throughout both of the games that night, and really added to the noise and intensity in the gym.”

The UPS victory also sent shockwaves to teams playing across the country in the

championship tournament.

“It felt amazing beating Howard Payne. As much as teams like to be the frontrunners, we enjoy playing the role of the underdog who can pull some major upsets.

It wasn’t so much the people of Iowa, but most of the other teams in the tournament who were caught off guard that we even made it to the Sweet 16,” senior Brie Adderly said.

The Loggers, unfortunately, were unable to continue upsetting the field and fell to Washington University (Mo.) the following game. UPS headed into the half leading 32-30, but the strong rebounding and overall athleticism of Wash. U helped the game slip from Logger control.

Whether the amazing win over Howard Payne two nights earlier had taken a little bounce from the Loggers’ step is debatable. It is certain, however, that the Loggers did not come back with the same tenacity on the boards as before.

“I think it was a combination of Wash U’s athleticism and our own fatigue. Our lack of height has never really created rebounding problems with us. Rebounding is all about heart and hustle and there was never a shortage of that on our team,” Adderly said.

While the dust settles on the 2006-2007 season, it is easy to see that the Lady Logs exceeded even the greatest of expectations.

Coach Suzy Barcomb, a recent recipient of the D3hoops. com Western Region Coach

By Will Holden wholden@ups.edu Sports Editor

asups photoservices/emily hearst

The three seniors made their last year one to remember at UPS. of the Year Award, helped guide her team on their Cinderella run.

“Co-NWC champions, second place in the NWC tournament, an at large berth to the national tournament and a deep run into the Elite Eight.

I am thrilled with how our team matured over the season,” Coach Barcomb said.

The seniors on this Logger team finished their final collegiate game in the Elite Eight, an accomplishment many college athletes across the country could only hope for.

“This season was truly amazing. It surpassed my personal expectations. Even though I knew we were going to be successful in the postseason, I didn’t realize it was going to be as special as it was. The Elite Eight

UPS goes 6-1 over NWC opponents

was hands down my favorite memory as a Logger,” Adderly said.

But with every ending comes a beginning. After a season that bore witness to great athletic achievement and two first team All-NWC players, the Lady Loggers can only rest for so long before heading back to the gym in preparation for a new season that now carries much greater expectations.

“We realize that we would have never made it to the Elite Eight this past season without all the hard work that we put in during the previous offseason. We’ll use that knowledge and our experience at the national tournament to fuel our offseason workouts,” Laura Hirsch said.

• Sam Kussin-Shoptaw used the

By Mike Jones mjones@ups.edu Sports Writer

Over the break the Loggers were able to continue their impressive NWC play, going 6-1 against Pacific and Lewis and Clark.

UPS was able to put together another three-game sweep, this time of the Boxers.

In the first game, the Boxers scored the games first run in the bottom of the first.

Gregorio Beck evened things up in the fourth inning, singling to right field to score Tim Steggall and tie things up at one run apiece. The Boxers added another run in the fifth inning to take a 2-1 lead. In the top of the ninth, Sean Bayha scored when Shaun Kiriu reached base on an error and then the Loggers got the go-ahead run when Michael Olsen grounded out to second base to score Austin Kuehn. Zach Green picked up the win while Ryan Gustafson was awarded the save after pitching no-hit ball in the ninth inning.

In the second game, Pacific put three runs on the board in the second inning to jump out to the early lead. Olsen

On the weekend of March 10 the Loggers Track and Field team came out and performed well at the Joe Peyton Invitational. Named after the legendary coach Joe Peyton, Puget Sound’s former track coach who led over 50 students to allAmerican honors and NAIA Hall of fame member, the event hosted Lewis & Clark and Seattle Pacific.

Many Loggers performed very well in the Invitational.

In the first two running events

Asups photoservices/paul wicks

Sean Bayha looks to tee off. UPS continues to perform well this year. in the fifth inning when Sean Bayha singled in Tim Steggall and then Joe Newland singled to score Shaun Kiriu as Puget Sound took the 2-0 lead. UPS went on the offensive again in the sixth inning, scoring three runs on four hits to push the advantage to 5-0. The Loggers got their sixth run in the eighth inning when Tanner Webber singled in Kiriu.

The Boxers went on a late run, scoring two runs in the eighth and a single run in the ninth but it wasn’t enough See BASEBALL page 14

Stories about underdogs are great. We all want to hear them and in this month they all come flooding to the forefront. But so many of these tales of teams defying the odds go unknown, their scope of glory and significance left unappreciated. This year, one of these stories just happens to fall in our backyard, in the form of our women’s basketball team. And just in case you didn’t know, let me tell you the tale. For while it ended in the Elite Eight last week, it was perhaps more astounding than any upset story CBS may fling your way.

At every turn these Loggers defied the odds. No one gave them much of a shot at even making it to the NCAA’s at the beginning of the season as all the experts, myself included, believed the team would struggle with the loss of last year’s backcourt which included first team All-NWC selection Sarah Carnahan and UPS’ all time leading scorer Kilty Keaton. But how did this resilient UPS squad respond? By producing two first team All-NWC guards in Allison Craven and Laura Hirsch.

The duo was perhaps even stronger than Carnahan and Keaton as they both averaged over 10 points a game to lead UPS in scoring.

But this team wasn’t about See WOMEN’S BALL page 15

Loggers impress at Peyton Invite

By Chris Thompson & Will Holden Compiled from wire services

scored Kiriu in the second inning to pull the Loggers closer but the Boxers added two more in the fourth to hold a 5-1 lead. Olsen again scored Kiriu in the fifth inning to bring the score to 5-2 and a four-run seventh inning gave Puget Sound a 6-5 lead.

Olsen picked up his third RBI of the game in the eighth inning to give the Loggers their eventual 7-5 win. After picking up the save in game one, Gustafson picked up the win and captured his second consecutive complete game.

The Loggers took the lead

UPS women’s basketball team defying all odds

of the day, juniors Brittany Hodgson and Trevor Hanlin won the men’s and women’s 3000m Steeplechase with impressive grace and fashion. What’s more, freshman Caitlin McGrain came just shy of first and clinched a valiant second place in the Women’s 300m hurdle with a time of 15.95 seconds. The men’s and women’s 400m Relay teams both finished in second place. The races came down to the hair and were terribly exciting.

Junior Pete Van Sant had another strong outing with a third place finish in the

See TRACK page 15

asups photoservices/matt loewen

A number of Loggers performed well at the Peyton Invitational.