Beyond the Bubble: My Ocean of Friends

by Line Coviello

You’ve probably heard the saying “There’s plenty of fish in the sea”, and you might have had loved ones reassuring you that you will find your fish someday. And as annoying as the saying is, it’s true. You will find your fish, you will find your bikini bottom, your coral reef, or wherever it is you truly belong.

This is a story of how I found my fish, built my coral reef, and discovered other wonderful sea creatures along my way. I grew up in the Danish suburbs, 30 minutes north of a little neighborhood in Copenhagen that would become my home when I started college. And the story starts in that little neighborhood in Copenhagen that I got to call home for 5 years.

I’m sitting in my bed in my small apartment in eastern Copenhagen. My world consists of school, friends, family, and parties. I’m halfway through my bachelor’s degree; I’m 20 years old and I’m living my life like most 20-year-old girls who attend Copenhagen Business School. I go to class most days; I diligently attend my work as a student assistant at the Danish Building Agency twice a week. I party on most Thursdays and typically show up to my statistics class Friday morning with a hangover. I go to work in a shoe store on Saturdays and have my weekly juice from Joe & the Juice with other girls who are also studying something at one of the universities in the city. On Sundays, I eat sourdough buns with butter and cheese with my girlfriends and gossip about whatever is happening in our lives while drinking our café lattes. And when Monday comes around, I start over and do it again, and again, and again. I live in a safe little bubble of what I know and what I have always known. One rainy autumn morning, as I’m sitting in my bed on a fall day, hungover, looking out on the rain and seeing the 50 shades of orange leaves that are falling from the trees, I find myself longing. I’m longing for more. I long for something to take me away from my safe little bubble.

That fall, I applied to study abroad, like many others did at my college. The choice to study abroad wasn’t just a choice made on a whim. It was different, this was something I wanted for myself.

I also met a guy; it was a somewhat eventful fall you could say. He was a friend of a friend, and he was the most normal guy in every way possible. I chose him because he wanted me, and it seemed like a good choice to be with him. I had found one of those fish that people would talk about wanting to find, so I kept him, as I convinced myself he was my fish. He wasn’t thrilled about my plans to study abroad, but I was determined to go; this was something I wanted to do for myself.

With over 300 partner schools to choose from, I picked Bentley University in Massachusetts, far from the typical study-abroad scene. Typically, people study abroad more so to travel and have fun, not to just go to school somewhere else, and a serious school nonetheless. I wouldn’t find out about this until after I started my classes though, so at this point in time I applied for Bentley University only with excitement.

Summer arrived, and if you hadn’t already guessed it by now, that normal guy wasn’t my fish after all. I had tried, and I had wanted him to be, but as he fell deeper and deeper in love, I felt more and more suffocated, like my bubble was shrinking on me. I didn’t have the heart to break things off; I couldn’t be a shark and just shred his heart to pieces. I was about to leave to study abroad and wouldn’t be back home until Christmas. I was excited to leave; he, on the other hand, was upset and didn’t want me to go. He was already missing me as my mind was halfway across the world with nothing but a longing for experiences and making my own choices. So, a month or so later, I broke up with him. Like a clown fish, I waited until I didn’t have to face the mess of a ceviche I ended up causing. And now there I was, so far from home and back to being just me. It was time to make some choices just for myself.

Little did I know, things were about to change. There’s another saying people like to put out there when it comes to love and finding your fish: laughter, and love. He had fraternity brothers, and they all let me into their bubbles, in their big, shared ocean. I felt myself getting wrapped in seaweed in the best way. I didn’t want to leave, I liked their ocean, and I loved my handsome, lovely fish. They all expanded my bubble and my sea.

And that also turned out to be true in my case. Because there he was, my fish, halfway across the world, at a fraternity party, looking deadly handsome, smiling so wide and enticingly, casually playing beer pong in his (ugly) red solo cup shorts. I had to know who he was. And oh boy, I found out. And I fell in love. And so did he.

His best friend was also his roommate. I would describe him as a salmon, because he was liked by most, and understandably so. He was nice and mild, yet energetic. He was JUST friends with the most energetic girl, a bubbly dolphin of a girl. She was warm, full of joy and energy. She was the first girl to hang out with me and all the guys for a weekend. She was so welcoming and kind, and she didn’t even know me. She took me under her flipper, and just like that, she invited me into her bubble and expanded my sea once more.

As Christmas approached, I dreaded returning to Copenhagen. I didn’t sleep the two weeks before leaving. I was miserable, there were so many unknowns. The biggest being whether our love would survive the Atlantic?

My fish had been swimming in a different sea than I. He was a marlin. He was beautiful, living a fast-paced life with high ambitions, but he was also the safest person I had ever met. He protects everything he loves and would go to the end of the world for the things he cares about. He could look intimidating, but once he let you in, there was nothing but warmth,

We decided to try a long-distance relationship; we wanted to give it a shot. A part of my heart was left in the States, and I found myself belonging to multiple places. It was tough, but when I told you I had met my fish, I meant it. And so did he. We got married at the town hall in Copenhagen, he proposed a month later in the Copenhagen Botanical Garden, and I applied for a green card. All in that order. And finally, I moved to New York.

His best friend, the likable salmon, and the bubbly dolphin of a girl finally came to the realization that they were a match, and they got an apartment in NYC together. And a little piece of advice: find yourself a dolphin, because they never swim alone, and they never let you swim alone either. My lovely dolphin took me under her flipper once more and showed me her wonderful sea and introduced me to all her wonderful friends. They showed me kindness and warmth, proving that friends, like fish, come in all shapes and sizes, each adding color to my reef. And they became a part of my sea, and it once again expanded. This past August, we had a big summer wedding with all our friends and family, as we had to celebrate with them. It was the most magical night, and it was the night we got to see our two seas become one great ocean.

Today, I sit in my bed in my townhouse in Long Island. I am no longer longing to burst my bubble, because I am no longer confined to a bubble. I belong in the ocean with my fish, in a whirlwind of bubbles including all my old friends, all my new friends, all my partners friends, and with space for future friends. I am my own fish, charting my own course. Yes, storms still come, but I never face them alone. Each fish in my life brings something unique to my coral reef, and I’m honored to inhabit their seas as they inhabit mine. I found my fish and I will forever be grateful. You will find your fish too, just keep your sea open.