The Penguin~Neo~Summer 2020 by ThePenguinSHHS

THE PENGUIN NEO - SUMMER 2020

English Department Interview Decade Review: Music, Literature, Sport and Politics

Behind the Scenes Emilia Photos The Big Debate: Positive Discrimination

LETTER FROM THE

EDITORS Sonja Belkin, Liana Lewis, Sydney Robinson, Megan Széll, Penelope Toong

Dear Reader, Well, let’s not avoid the elephant in the room, shall we? The Penguin is no longer back in your arms in its usual silky and corporeal form - instead, we’ve upgraded to the sleek design of issuu, in an unexpectedly eco-friendly move on our part. This time, we wanted our theme, ‘Neo’, to commemorate the end of the 2010s, as well as look forward to the future that awaits us in the coming decade. Though only just over six months have passed, it already seems like we have enough to fill up a GCSE History textbook. Our articles in ‘Neo’ range from the Decade in Review feature (including politics, sports, and music) to the ever pertinent Big Debate. While the world seems to be grinding to a halt, morale hasn’t dropped here at the Penguin - yet. In any case, we hope this issue of the magazine provides you with content that’s amusing and thought-provoking.

In case we don’t see you - good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

We'd like to give a big thank you to Ms Wrigglesworth, for all her help with the magazine, as well as all of the contributors - both old and new - for their enthusiasm and ideas.

Front cover photo: Nikki Ivanova

CONTENTS SHHS Horoscopes Overheard @ SHHS A Letter from the Head Girl Team Hidden London: Sustainable Feature - Honor Miers The Simulation Hypothesis - Auhona Majumdar Year Seven Photography Competition An Interview With the English Department Street Art - Isobel Phillips Neopaganism - Natasha Arakcheeva Decade in Music Decade in Books Decade in Politics - Lara Tobias-Tarsh Decade in Sport - Lara Tobias-Tarsh A Series of South Hampstead Events - Megan SzĂŠll The Big Debate - Lucia Henwood, Sonja Belkin Dubai & New York Photoshoot - Nikki Ivanova The New Abnormal - Lara Tobias-Tarsh Book Rant - Emily Man Book Rave - Zeynep Kilic A New Decade in Film - Harriet Raphael Creative Writing: Transported - Honor Miers, Penelope Toong The Generation Theory - Elenor Roberts A Letter to the Editors - Lucia Henwood Emilia: Behind the Scenes - Millie Slade Eco-friendly Kenya - Keya Nandra 1920s Fashion - Isabella Levitt Will it Waffle - Amelia Arthur, Lucia Taylor, April Allan Comic - Maria Levina

HOROSCOPE ARIES 21 MARCH - 20 APRIL

TAURUS 21 APRIL - 20 MAY

You've been spending more time in your home lately.

GEMINI 21 MAY - 20 JUNE

SAGITTARIUS 23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER

LEO 23 JULY - 22 AUGUST

VIRGO 23 AUGUST - 22 SEPTEMBER

You've been spending more time in your home lately.

LIBRA 23 SEPTEMBER - 22 OCTOBER

SCORPIO 23 OCTOBER - 22 NOVEMBER

You've been spending more time in your home lately.

SAGITTARIUS 23 NOVEMBER - 21 DECEMBER

CAPRICORN 22 DECEMBER - 19 JANUARY

AQUARIUS 20 JANUARY - 19 FEBRUARY

PISCES 20 FEBRUARY - 20 MARCH

You've been spending more time in your home lately.

OVERHEARD @ SHHS Lowkey, Dionysus invented communism

Just because you take Maths A Level doesn’t make you morally superior

I had to facilitate someone’s Kosher crisps addiction

I love Minecraft music. It makes me… very emotional

And then my brother ate his whole toothbrush...bristles and all

If you cough on me, I'll expel you

The only thing I want in life is the Sims 4 Mermaid Island expansion pack

looking for something neo? Both witty and poignant, Straight Man is probably one of my favourite novels. The characters are all nuanced and feel like they step off the page, the jokes are all perfectly set up and have satisfying punchlines, and by the end you really will feel like a chaotic 50 year old English professor who just wants to amuse himself as much as possible.

This one I have actually seen! Memento will completely mess with your mind and the whole time you'll be on the edge of your seat. The protagonist has retrograde amnesia and the story is told backwards which makes for a very interesting viewing experience as with each scene that comes previously, more is revealed culminating in a completely twisted and brilliant ending

Luke Kennard is the kind of poet that is enjoyable even without being 'into' poetry - the characters he creates have incredibly unique voices ranging from melancholy to snarky. Definitely recommend!

I keep meaning to watch this film and I know I can't really recommend it without having watched it but allow it this once because apparently there's a character with the same name as this issue's theme.

INTRO:This is a goodbye and thank you from the Head Girl Team. Unfortunately, our time was cut short as Cohort-

corona and we missed out on our final assembly to you all. It has been a pleasure being your team this past year and we owe Mrs Bingham and Mr Waller a big thank you in particular for their continuous support and for being so openminded. We have enjoyed every minute of our experience (especially meeting the only head boy in the GDST), but these minutes have gone by so quickly! This article highlights some of the things we’ve been up to, but our extensive video call ‘handover’ meeting with the new team (who are fab!) was so extensive that perhaps we aren’t quite ready to let go of our to-do list! Getting to know so many more of you all - even if it was through your complaints in student council - and helping to make a positive change have been some of the best parts. In our leadership training, we were asked to choose an animal that described our team; we went for a 7-tentacled octopus spinning plates in all directions but united as a team. We hope we’ve reached you in some way or another! If we haven’t, hopefully (in about 10 years time) our names will have reached the wall in gold which really, is the only reason we applied in the first place.

A LETTER FROM THE HEAD PERSONAL

SOPHIE:

Spraying the old Waterlow Hall with water pistols filled with a rainbow of acrylic paint in the name of art (Gillian Ayres!) was definitely a highlight. Spreading awareness about sustainable period products was also up there and it was rewarding to see how open-minded everyone was even if some of the products looked questionable! Hosting a junior school girl as ‘Head Girl for the Day’ and just about managing not to lose her - or her interest - between us was a sure feat. I know everyone appreciated the (too) many 6th Form breakfast mornings to keep us going, especially along with the charity pyjama day that we documented with disposable cameras, even if half of the photos didn’t show up. It’s the thought that counts?

SAAYA:

My personal highlight was starting the first Eco week and Meatfree Tuesdays! The whole Eco committee worked really hard on organising all the events and I was proud of how well it went. I loved seeing so many students and teachers having fun on the smoothie bike although it almost ended in disaster when a Year 7 forgot to hold the lid on their blender and the atrium floor was nearly covered in a slightly dodgy coloured mix of mashed grapes and kiwi.

JANE:

Besides hearing about Alicia’s ‘toilet tour’ with Mr Waller, my personal highlight is how we’ve managed to strengthen links between the Junior and Senior schools. Sixth-formers now run history of art, science and debating clubs which is a great way to improve a sense of community within the wider school, despite the two sides. I have to say, a personal low light was when a Year 6 from the debating club told me that the fact I was stressed for mocks was probably an indication that I hadn’t revised enough and I need to work harder.

ADVICE TO NEXT YEAR'S TEAM: MICHAELA: Prioritisation! The number of halfcompleted projects and ideas I have developed over the course of the year is scarily large. I would definitely choose a few key areas that you want to address and work to fully complete them before moving on.

KATE: Chat to as many people as you can! The insights you get into other year groups and other branches of the school you don’t know as much about will allow you to make way more informed decisions that benefit everyone.

ALICIA: Be realistic - everything takes 10x longer than expected.

ALICE: Be proactive - the sooner you can get a project off the ground, the better.

JANE: Teachers don’t reply to emails. You have to chase them down. Literally. SOPHIE: Take risks! Also, try and keep motivation up with the little things; tea and biscuits make everything better.

SAAYA: Don’t be afraid to start new things. The worst that will happen is someone tells you can’t (and even then you probably can convince them).

GIRL TEAM 2019-2020 HIGHLIGHTS MICHAELA:

KATE:

My personal highlight has been the incredible response and enthusiasm from girls in Year 11-13 towards the volunteering opportunities created this year. Girls have been so involved and excited by events such as Mitzvah Day and initiatives such as Spear and we have received great feedback about the positive impact girls are having in the local community. I’m looking forward to hearing how charity and partnerships develop even further over the next few years at SHHS.

I think my personal highlight would have been the ceilidh that was due to take place in Wellness week, however, ‘wellness’ week ironically had to be virtual because of Coronavirus. At the end of the day, ‘welfare is not just a week’, but one big ongoing effort. From really brave conversations about your year’s mental health, to arguably braver requests to just ‘cancel homework’, you’ve kept me on my toes to make sure welfare was central to all our decisions. I will always be proud of how we overcame the Head Girl Team email being hacked as a scary cyberman threatened to expose all our secrets, and already miss ‘sorry I had a Head Girl Team meeting’, as my excuse for being late to literally anything. P.s. no pressure Pico, but the ceilidh is now your responsibility!

ALICIA:

My personal highlight has to be Year 7 student council. Hearing about how Trinity walk is too steep and how it should have rest stops with water bottles and snacks definitely brightened my day. My personal low light has to be when a Year 7 asked me if I was new to their year. Best of luck to all the Year 7s! P.S: Trinity doesn’t get better.

ALICE: My personal highlight was attending the GDST Summit on the theme ‘New Rules’. The event was incredibly inspiring and thought-provoking, touching on many different ideas including the importance of wellbeing in both boys’ and girls’ education, embracing men as allies, owning your work/home life balance and, (my favourite), ‘being the lawyer your mother always wanted you to marry’ - Cheryl Giovannoni. From an alumnae perspective, we held the ‘Come and Sing’ reunion on the 8th of March, welcoming alumnae spanning over 60 years of South Hampstead! It was a pleasure to show alumnae around our new, modern school and hear their stories of wearing ties as part of their uniform and crossing the notorious Finchley Road.

Hidden London: Sustainable Feature

Our top picks of the gems in Central London leading the way in sustainable living.

Botanique Workshop, Exmouth Market I first entered this refreshing shop whilst desperately trying to do what we've all done - find the perfect gift for a friend - and this place didn't disappoint. Upon stepping inside, I was immediately greeted by the smell of freshly cut plants and flowers, and within thirty seconds of browsing through the meticulously arranged shelves, the stress of finding the perfect gift had begun to melt away. Botanique Workshop combines flowers and plants with a wonderful collection of unique handcrafted products. As well as selling stunning bouquets and making their own products, Botanique works with British designers and small businesses to create a space filled with beautiful, high-quality items. They also run floristry workshops and classes from their basement workshop. After my first visit, I have returned often, sometimes to buy a present or just to see what’s new. Address: 31 Exmouth Market, Farringdon, London EC1R 4QL Nearest Public Transport: Farringdon, Angel Website: https://botaniqueworkshop.com

Bulk Market, Hackney Tucked away in an arch under a railway bridge, this shop looks unassuming at first. However, upon entry, you’ll find a surprisingly wide range of household essentials. Bulk Market’s purpose is to make it easy for people to make the right choices in what they buy, by ditching unnecessary packaging. As you enter, there is a massive rack of canisters on the left wall containing every dry good imaginable, from coffee to cornflakes to quinoa. Next to this is an array of seasonal fruits and vegetables, as well as freshly baked goods and honey. Amazingly, the Bulk Market also stocks chilled and frozen food, cleaning products, and pet food! As you walk into the back of the shop, you come across their unique DIY beauty bar. Glass jars filled with exotic oils and creams are arranged neatly on the wall. The idea is to be able to know exactly what’s in your skincare. The staff are happy to provide you with recipes and information as you concoct your own personalised beauty products completely plastic-free! Address: 6 Bohemia Pl, London E8 1DU Nearest Public Transport: Hackney Central/Hackney Downs Website: https://www.bulkmarket.uk

Seven Dials Market, Covent Garden I first stumbled across this place completely by accident whilst trying to find a pair of shoes. Located in an old Banana Warehouse, this bustling hall contains food from all over the world. As you walk through the dimly lit entrance, you think it’s just a few stalls, but then it opens up into two levels of mouth-watering abundance. At the top, there are some sit-down cafés, while the bottom floor is lined with street-food stalls and contains a communal dining area in the middle. The food ranges from the weird to the wonderful. In the same building, you can find traditional Italian pasta and the world’s first cheese conveyor belt restaurant! Seven Dials Market is also very sustainable as most of the food is served plastic-free and there are water refill stations throughout the venue. There is also a wide range of plant-based and vegan food available, including vegan tacos! Address: Earlham St, London WC2H 9LX Nearest Public Transport: Covent Garden Tube Website: https://www.sevendialsmarket.com

Calthorpe Project, King’s Cross The Calthorpe Project is a green haven in central London, providing access to green speace for people without gardens. Walking through the bright red gate and over the bridge, you are met with a surprisingly open space. At the centre, there is a tiled yard where visitors try out ping pong, surrounded by bushes. To your right, others play five-a-side football on the pitch. And towards the back, children play on the tyre swing or climbing frame. The facility is open seven days a week and hosts a wide range of activities including gardening, football, and yoga. A vegetarian café is also open from Monday to Friday, which makes use of the ingredients grown on-site. Much of the energy used is generated through an anaerobic digester, which helps heat the greenhouses. Even though the site is less than two acres, it has so much to offer, being a place for relaxation, somewhere to have lunch or a fun area to play a game of ping pong with your family. Address: 258-274 Grays Inn Rd, London WC1X 8LH Nearest Public Transport: King’s Cross Website: http://calthorpecommunitygarden.org.uk

Note: Whilst it's always important to support smaller, sustainable businesses, please ensure you follow government guidelines regarding travel and the use of public transport. Many of the places listed have websites and delivery services available, if you'd like to check them out instead from the comfort of your own home!

Reality Check:

The Simulation Hypothesis ‘Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality’ Kanye wants to be President. Area 51 has been (unsuccessfully) raided. Brexit and the Waterlow Hall just so happen to be complete in the exact same week. All for which there is only one explanation: reality is not real. Our world is only what we perceive it to be, not what it is. Our world is out of our control, far beyond the comprehension of human-kind, because we are living in a simulation. (Cue dramatic sci-fi theme here). It’s a concept that has been depicted in film many times before the internet’s boyfriend, Keanu Reeves, backbending his way out of the Matrix, and even Disney letting a young puppy, Bolt, convince himself that his job as a tv-stunt dog was a reality (yes, that is the plot of the movie). However, let us turn the tables and consider the fact that we may be living in our very own ‘Truman Show’. According to Nick Bostrom, a philosophy professor at Oxford University, it is certainly a possibility. In 2003, he revealed in an influential paper that he believed there were three possibilities for the future of humanity: 1) All human-like civilisations in the universe would go extinct before they were able to have the technological capacity to create simulated realities; 2) if any civilisations did reach this phase of technological maturity, none of them would bother to run simulations; or 3) advanced civilisations would have the ability to create many, many simulations, resulting in far more simulated worlds than non-simulated ones. We can’t know for sure which of these is the case, Bostrom concludes, but they’re all possible — and the third option might even, he suggests, have been the most probable outcome. If this is true, humanity in its current state is more likely living in a simulated reality

of the past than a real world. It’s always too early in the day to wrap one's head around that. Yet, despite the initial impossibility of this idea, an increasing number of high-profile figures have been willing to entertain it, including Brit-Rock band Muse in their 80s inspired, synth-infused 2018 studio album ‘Simulation Theory’, an influential episode of ‘Rick and Morty’ dedicated to the concept and, most notably, Elon Musk. The man invented vertically opening car doors and offered to buy and reopen Club Penguin. Obviously, he knows what he’s talking about. We can even trace this theory as far back as Plato, in his seminal ‘Allegory of the Cave’, which can be considered an early depiction of the ‘Simulation Hypothesis’. Plato describes a group of people who have lived their entire lives shackled to the wall of a cave, having only ever seen the blank wall in front of them.

The people observe the shadows projected onto the wall by objects passing behind them, and give names to these shadows. The shadows are the prisoners' reality. A prisoner is then freed from the cave and is welcomed to the outside world. He comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not reality at all, for now he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the manufactured reality that is the shadows seen by the prisoners. The thought of such a rich existence being fake does inflict some existential dread into our daily lives, or, at least, more than the usual dose, but we should not give up hope yet. There are some benefits of simulated reality - namely, the comfort in knowing that not everything is within our control. Many Simulation Theorists believe we are in a test run towards the ultimate simulation. So, take this opportunity to make mistakes now. Forget facing your problems - instead, avoid them at all costs, using Simulation Theory as a scapegoat! (This is a joke, please do your homework...). Fortunately for our fragile comprehension of the concept of existence, ‘Simulation Theory’ does not change our experience of reality in a particularly meaningful way. We shall still live our lives as sentient beings. We shall always be able to feel joy from drinking chai lattes in the Sixth Form Common room or frustration from the school-wide austerity measures of cuts to sushi and inflation of pastry (younger and more impressionable students, please fact-check in your own time). The fact is that, fundamentally, we are still human as under our definition of the word. So, if there is any pertinent moral lesson to be learned, it is that the questioning of reality is what has driven innovation for centuries and centuries. It is that zeitgeist which has led humanity to realise that the world is round (for others, that it’s flat), that apes happen to be a distant, hairier cousin. Philosophers and visionaries who have refused to accept the systematic perception of reality are the individuals that have made our experience of the world as fulfilling as it is. So don’t sit there and accept Simulation Theory (or any theory for that matter) - challenge them. Your ideas, your honest perspective, is valued exponentially in such a complex world because, in the words and spirit of Neil De Grasse Tyson: ‘You matter. Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy.’ Written by Auhona Majumdar Illustrations by Megan Széll

YEAR 7 PHOTOGRAPHY CO

This year the School Magazine team decided to run a course for the Year 7s on the team. Millie Slade, who is our head of ph girls. These photos are the result of this competition, where the girls learnt about photo composition, different cameras and

PHOTO BY VICTORIA WOLFENSBERGER

PHOTO BY ALINA HENDRICKSON

PHOTO BY KEYA NANDRA

MPETITION

otography, ran a six-week course for the photo editing.

RUNNER UP - PHOTOS BY CLARA BURGEL (above and below)

RUNNER UP - PHOTOS BY RIA PRASAD

WINNER - SO

PHIE AZHAR

An Interview With the English Department Once again, The Penguin’s investigative team returns to shed light on the mysteries of our dear school. Our victim this issue? After a great deal of bureaucracy, we managed to worm our way into the English department. Alas, certain members of staff declined to comment (One day, Mr Harkins, one day…), but four brave representatives were willing to comply. So, when you can’t visit the sixth floor, we bring the sixth floor to you, with a visit to the evericonic English department... What are you reading at the moment? Morton: I’m reading The Passion by Jeanette Winterson, which is brilliant. It’s about Napoleon but it isn’t about Napoleon. It’s great. It’s from the perspective of Henri, a footsoldier in Bonaparte’s army, and it then goes into kind of magical realism in Venice, where he meets this character called Villanelle, you know, of Killing Eve fame of later on. Their stories kind of collide and it’s really clever. It’s kind of a mix between historical fiction, sort of, and magic realism. I really recommend it, I’ve loved it! Etheridge: I’m reading To The Lighthouse, which I should have read before, but haven’t, so, yeah.

I’m enjoying it a lot, it’s got humour, in a way, in a place I didn’t expect. Yeah, it’s great. Bokkerink: I’m re-reading something by Margaret Atwood, but I don’t know how to pronounce it M: The Penelopiad! B: Yeah, the Penelope-ad, which is basically looking at the myth of the Odyssey, and Odysseus coming back home, and his faithful wife, Penelope M: And the murder of the maids! B: The murder of her twelve maids, and re-examining what it is to be a hero, and what the role of the wife is, and what the role of the suitor is, and what the husband is, but from a feminist perspective M: I really enjoyed that B: It’s fun, it’s really fun M: It’s really clever M: Mr Garrard’s reading the Beano. No, I’m joking. It’s probably something about Doctor Who. E: Yeah, it’s probably Doctor Who novels What is your favourite book? B: Middlemarch! Middlemarch! Middlemarch! E: Aw, that’s not fair! M: I don’t know if i can do it… E: Middlemarch I think is like… up there

M: Amazing E: Top three, um, Madame Bovary is also up there M: Jane Eyre is up there for me B: Jane Eyre is also my top three E: This is such a struggle, though B: And, for something very different, The Incredible Lightness of Being. I didn’t watch the film, because I didn’t want to ruin my experience of the book, but it had a big impact on me at the time. For me, at the time, it was a new way of writing, and I thought “Oh! I didn’t know it could be like this” M: Oh, and Emma B: Oh really? Emma? Is that your top Austen? M: Yeah, it’s definitely my top Austen, one hundred percent, yeah. What creative writing trope are you tired of seeing in stories? In unison: They woke up and it was all a dream E: Just all the death, all the death and murder. M: Aliens E: Also all the death and murder as a substitute for genuine tension. It’s like, okay, you killed your mother, I’m not inherently shocked by that unless you make me shocked through how you’re writing about it.

B: You haven’t made me care about your relationship with your mother. E: Exactly, or your mother, or you. M: Or her death E: Or any aspect of the story Do you have rules like Mr Harkins for what people can and cannot submit? M: What are his rules? No aliens, no homelessness, no talking animals, no looking in mirrors E: Well it’s just because it’s always from a South Hampstead perspective M: Yeah, I do kind of agree with that B: What about aliens? Because Year Sevens still like saying “And then she turned into an alien” ‘Turned into’ an alien - isn’t alien inherent? E: Good question - these are the things we ask ourselves Is there a classic novel that you secretly hate? M: Tristram Shandy, sorry B: Oh, really? E: Fair enough B: I quite liked it, but I was quite immature at the time, so maybe I wouldn’t like it now. It was fun. Not really a classic, but Heart of Darkness is supposed to be one of the best novels ever written, isn’t it? But I found that really dull. M: Oh no, I quite liked that. Interesting… isn’t it funny? B: I think there was something wrong with me at the time, I just couldn’t finish it, could not sustain it E: Controversial given that we taught it -- I was never a fan of Silas Marner M: I know what you mean, a bit heavy handed, maybe E: Yeah, a bit overbearing. M: It’s quite moralistic. I mean

actually, I really hated Gatsby the first time I read it, just for pleasure, because I thought “I hate all of them. I think they should all be executed or drowned”. But to teach, it’s brilliant. I think I just read it fairly young I was just like “I hate everybody”. I don’t think I realised that’s the point? You know, because of course we’re getting this view into this elite little group, and also Nick is such a massive loser. E: But I think this is the thing, like often when we teach novels, students don’t realise that when they hate characters it doesn’t mean the novel’s bad, it just means the people in them are terrible people, and that’s fine. M: That’s the point! E: We’re meant to judge them, and enjoy judging them. B: For example in theatre because I used to teach Theatre Studies as well as English - I used to hate watching Brecht plays, but he’s so brilliant to teach and write about, and just the theories and

how they apply, and what we learnt from that in modern playwriting, it’s really fruitful, but I just would not sit through a performance of a Brecht play. It doesn’t matter. There’s loads to write about. Have you ever attempted to write a novel, and who do you think is the most likely to publish a book? E: I’ve never attempted to write a novel. I like writing poems because they’re manageable, bite-sized chunks. I’d say Mr Garrard, because he’s the most committed creative writer, I think? B: Yeah, he’s very committed to writing M: I have actually written some children’s books for a podcast! So I get to do all of the audio and all the little voices and things, which is actually something I do in my spare time, when I’m not teaching. It’s this kind of fictional world, and everything. It’s called Super Sleuths, and it’s really cute. They have their own boat, and it’s set in the future but we’ve gone backwards, we’ve lost all our technology, and they live in this fictional sort of South American place. They go up the bank of the Amazon and they just have all these adventures. I just really wanted to do that. I think a lot of the time, some of my personal writing can be a bit angsty, you know? Like oh, I’m sort of Sylvia Plath. Yeah, no, not really. I decided to go completely out of that kind of idea of going very in, and kind of go out and give back a bit, free stories for everyone. Just imagine those kids, who no one reads stories to, but they’ve got access to all the technology in the world, and audio-books are really expensive, so I just thought “if it’s on a podcast, it’s free!” B: And will you continue with that? M: Yeah! I’m doing book five at the

moment. I mean, they’re children’s books, so they’re obviously not the same - I co-write them with my mum, which is really cute. All: Aww M: I know, it’s a bit adorable B: Family project? M: Yeah, but it’s really good actually, because my mum is brilliant, she’s like a geographer and politics teacher and graduate, so she’s really good at the world stuff, and I kind of make it into a reality on the page, with my kind of skills, so it’s quite a good partnership. [Mr Garrard enters stage left] M: How’s your novel coming along, Mr Garrard? G: How’s my novel coming along? Haha. Slowly. Really slowly. B: But do you prefer writing poetry, is that right? G: I write a lot more poetry than prose, but then a novel is like doing a marathon, isn’t it? I mean, I can knock off the first draft of a poem in bed in the morning, before getting up, so they’re different, they fit around life differently. I feel like I’m at a job interview. What’s the strangest thing that’s happened in a class that you were teaching? M: Hmm. Mine’s PG rated, so I can’t say. It's not in this school We don’t need to print it! It’s off the record! E: I mean, it is literally on record, on record We’ve had lots of things off record... [Redacted] E: A couple of years ago, a girl that I didn’t teach turned up in my Year Nine class and just kind of sat there and joined the rest of the lesson. That was a fun time. Still don’t know her name. She’ll know.

She’s still here. B: She’s not a ghost then, she’s real? E: No, no. She’s real. It was just after a trip or something, and they just brought her along to join the lesson Did she contribute? E: I think she said a few meaningful things. I still don’t know who she is, but if you’re reading this, thank you, you were a good contributor. Who is the fictional character you most identify with? E: This is such a poisoned chalice of a question B: Oh Mr Garrard, say Hamlet. Someone’s got to say Hamlet. G: Well, it depends on the day. I’d say for the first half of the week I feel like Hamlet, and in the second half I feel like Polonius. M: Jane Eyre, even though I’m obviously not an orphan B: Yeah, Jane Eyre M: I don’t think I’m going to get some sort of massive inheritance, either. E: That’s not the only requirement. M: But the passion she has, and just her determination not to be pigeon-holed and not to be told what to do, I bloomin’ love.

B: And the fact that she says it doesn’t matter if people approve or don’t approve of what I’m doing, it’s about my voice of conscience. M: And to write the line “I am a free human being with an independent will” as an orphaned girl in 1849 is phenomenal, and to follow that through. I just absolutely love it. B: She’s got to be it. It’s Jane. M: Janet B: Rocky Horror Show Janet? M: Yeah B: Another one. Another role model Who would you dress up as for world book day, if you couldn't be from anything that’s been made into a film? E: Which, I think, should be the requirement. B: Well, actually, Jane Eyre! E: Has been made into a film, but yeah G: This is difficult, because you never want to have to explain the character, you also don’t want to come as someone who is in work clothes, or a suit. M: Could I come as a bell jar? E: Yes. You could and you should. G: I would put a stuffed crow on my shoulder and just pretend to be Edgar Allan Poe being harassed by a raven E: Or you could have someone else dress as the raven, following you around M: And just harassing you all day! E: Just going “nevermore” in your ear for an entire day B: Well, we’d have to do something, we’d have to make you look less healthy G: That’s very kind of you Or just have one Edgar Allan Poe and just loads of birds E: I love this idea, this is the department’s plan.

Are there any poems you know off by heart? M: Yes, My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun. I love that Shakespeare sonnet. G: Wet Evening in April by Patrick Kavanaugh, which is a very quiet, sad poem. B: There was a time when I was always asked to read at people’s weddings, so I had a set of poems, wedding poems E: For emergencies B: That’s right, my emergency wedding poems. But then they stopped getting married, all these people, there was a lull, and nobody got married for a bit. M: Now you're collecting the divorce poems! G: The only bit of Hamlet I know off by heart is the speech at the end of Withnail and I, which is not a good reason to know anything E: Mine’s Baudelaire’s À une passante G: Oh. E: “Oh”, yeah. And The Trees by Philip Larkin. Don’t know why, I just learnt it. If you could make everyone read one book at Key Stage 3 as part of the national curriculum, what would it be? M: I do think Merchant of Venice is just brilliant G: Isn’t it already on the curriculum? E: Does it have to be a new addition? M: Is it on the national curriculum? G: I don’t know. See, we don’t have to follow the national curriculum E: We make our own rules M: I think the fact that we do Shakespeare in every year group is so brilliant, and should be the case for ever G: When I was eleven or twelve, my English teacher gave me a book called The Borribles, which is not taught anywhere anymore. It’s

basically a young adult, London-set fantasy novel, but the author was also an anarchist, and it’s sort of full of anarchist politics, but for kids. That would be quite fun to teach E: Surprisingly not on any curriculum Is there anything you, as the representatives of the department, would like to say to the rest of the school? M: Oh my gosh. You are free human beings with independent wills! E: That’s very inspiring. I was thinking something more along the lines of likeM: “Read” E: Yes, exactly M: Read more. Come to debating E: Yeah, come to debating, Tuesday lunchtimes, Monday lunchtimes. G: Am I allowed to say “Shakespeare is that good”? E & M: Yes! E: Believe it or not, they put thought into what they write B: Yeah, so if you think “oh, this can’t be as deep as it goes, surely he didn’t really mean all these double-meanings,” yes, he did, and a couple more that we haven’t thought of yet M: Or that we’ve lost through time G: That’s right. I think I’d like them to know that we are often as surprised to discover something as they are, even though we’ve been reading it a lot longer than they have M: Absolutely, and they have fresh things to bring as students of literature. Absolutely. G: The best lessons are a conversation M: That’s very quotable B: The more they put in, the better the lessons are, because then it’s a real conversation.

Reported by Sonja Belkin, Liana Lewis, Sydney Robinson, and Megan Széll Illustrations by Megan Széll

STREET ART

London is one of the best places in the world to find street art. A massive variety of multicoloured murals, huge bubble writing and so much more line the bustling streets. Local and international artists have adorned the city with their creativity for years. The first name that comes to mind regarding street art would undoubtedly be Banksy. He is one of the most prominent artists of today due to his comedic, political art catching the attention of millions, while still maintaining anonymity – a common theme for street artists.

"Whilst street art is not conventional, it is a diverse, public art form that livens our streets." However, street art, or graffiti, can still get a bad rap; with connotations of disturbance and insecurity. Whilst street art is not conventional, it is a diverse, public art form that livens our streets. One of the extraordinary features of street art is that it is forever changing. A masterpiece created one day could be painted over by another artist the next day, and so there is constantly something new. There is a skate park near my house tucked away underneath an overpass. It is drowning in graffiti, with street artists regularly marking the walls. On one occasion, my dad approached one of them and started a very out-of-the-blue conversation. He had all of his equipment laid out and a speaker blasting music as he mulled over what he would create. The street artist was local and visited the skate park often. He said that an artist painting over another artist’s work is not a terrible injustice; it’s the norm. A few weeks prior, the artist and his friend had created a piece of textual art, only to find that a few days later another artist had painted over it. Normally, this would be okay, but the artist believed that the work that he had created was vastly superior. So, he painted over it again. Once the second artist saw this, he was clearly frustrated, painting over it, again. This went on for weeks until the former artist backed down and abandoned the artwork. That’s the whole point; Masterpieces can last years, or mere days. New art is forever being created in an ever changing urban landscape and the acceptance of painting over another artist’s creation is a sort of mutual agreement within the graffiti community.

BY ISOBEL PHILLIPS

That was until the fairly recent revival of witchcraft, which is often classified as neo-paganism. This doesn’t actually refer to one discipline. It’s an incredibly diverse faith, ranging from those who worship the ancient Viking Gods, to atheists or Christians who occasionally engage in rituals. Witchcraft isn't actually so different from Christianity, in which prayer and rituals such as the Eucharist are integral. As Leanna Greenaway describes in her book Wiccapedia, it is “an openminded faith that you can fine-tune to suit your own needs. There is no specific rule book to follow" However, there are generally some similar beliefs. For example, most neo-pagans believe that we should become closer to nature, and as a result, there are many who are vegetarian or engage in other eco-friendly practices. Fortune-telling (also known as divination) is one of the more well-known neo-pagan activities. As well as this, modern witches might cast spells or brew potions. Rather than employing the typical recipe of "blood of the innocent" and "unicorn hair" and "eye of newt, toe of frog", a spell is far more likely to involve lighting a certain colour of candle, writing down a specific Norse rune, and mixing some herbs together. The practices have stayed up to date with the times. Although neopaganism is inspired by those early faiths that were taken over by Christianity, such as those of the Celts or Polynesian peoples, nowadays, it's a lot more focused on the self, and staying motivated and positive in today's world. The majority of witches believe that we can take our fate into our own hands by means of spellwork, manifest our own desires and reality. Outside of beliefs and practices, we can all learn some lessons from neopagans: 1- Be nice to the world. We only get one. 2- Be nice to others. You are what you do, so do what you want to be known for. 3- Be nice to yourself. If you push yourself too hard, or too little, you’ll be left unbalanced and stressed. Your own wellbeing is paramount so cultivate self love.

Natasha Arakcheeva

NEOPAGANISM

When you hear the word pagan, you probably think of drunk people in masks dancing around a pyre. It is probably not shocking, therefore, that so much stigma has been attached to the word - pagans were pretty much rooted out as soon as Christianity came to Europe, and these people and their practices were forgotten.

DECADE in MUSIC Pop, Rap, Rock, Folk, RnB, Emo, HipHop, K-pop, and Funk/Disco - our defining albums of the 2010s. If you have Spotify, you can use your Spotify scanner to be taken directly to the album.

LORDE, Melodrama

BILLIE EILISH, Don't Smile At Me

HOZIER, Hozier

VULFPECK, The Beautiful Game

ROYAL BLOOD, Royal Blood

ARCTIC MONKEYS, AM

KENDRICK LAMAR, To Pimp A Butterfly

FRANK OCEAN, Blonde

BIGBANG, MADE

KANYE WEST, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE, Danger Days

NICKI MINAJ, The Pinkprint

DECADE in BOOKS The Magazine Team has put together some of our top picks, choosing some of our favourites published each year!

2012

2011

2010

2015

2014

2013

2019

2018

2017

2016

DECADE The coalition of David Cameron and Nick Clegg, at the start of the 2010s - the first peacetime coalition since the Lloyd George administration (1916-1922) - seemed to pave the way for an uneventful decade with a fairly moderate governance. However, in April 2010, this illusion was shattered; Greeceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sovereign debt rating was downgraded to Junk 4, triggering a 45 billion euro bailout by the EU and the IMF. This subsequently drew attention to the decline in the value of the Euro and the EUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brewing sovereign debt crisis. On the 17th of December, Mohamed Bouzazi, a Tunisian street vendor, set himself on fire, triggering the Tunisian revolution, which ultimately became the Arab Spring. Arguably, it was 2011 which set the tone for the political tumult that followed in its wake. Terrorist groups such as Islamic State dominated headlines, capturing huge swathes of territory in Syria and Iraq and claiming responsibility for high-profile attacks, such as the bombing of the Boston Marathon in 2015. Accompanying this, wave after wave of refugees arrived in Italy and Greece, fleeing the fighting in their home countries and being accommodated in hastily erected refugee camps.

POLITICS

This was the perfect storm for populist politics, most notably and worryingly the alt-right, to play on the fears of instability, debt, rising xenophobia, and decline that were becoming prominent across the globe. From the election of Jair Bolsonaro in Brazil to Imran Khan in Pakistan to the rapid rise of Eurosceptic, anti-immigration parties in the European Union, the polarisation of international politics has been the trend since 2015. This can be seen most prominently in the changing faces of established political systems in the US and UK, in the election of increasingly rightwing, controversial figures such as Donald Trump, and in the reactionary prominence of hard-left opposition leaders such as Jeremy Corbyn and Bernie Sanders. The endless process of Brexit further dominated political discourse, resulting in a destabilising and a chaotic four years of elections. This, coupled with the election of Donald Trump (despite the endless controversy of racism, sexism, foreign interference and even sexual abuse surrounding him), set a precedent for the surging discriminatory views, popularised by the alt-right, which seems likely to continue to be the trend moving forward. Should Trump be re-elected it seems impossible that the surging alt right will not continue their trajectory towards seizing power globally. On the other hand, if Bernie Sanders assumes office in 2020, perhaps it will be a sign of the resurgence of the left to come internationally.

By Lara Tobias-Tarsh

The 2010s were a decade defined by sporting dominance, from Formula 1 to Football, with many historic performances from athletes and teams across every discipline. Michael Phelps secured his position as the most decorated Olympian of all time, winning his 23rd gold medal at the 2016 Rio Olympics. In 2014, Lewis Hamilton and Mercedes brought an end to the previous dominance of Red Bull’s Sebastien Vettel, securing him six F1 drivers’ championships, and Usain Bolt becoming the most successful sprinter in history, holding world records in the 100m, the 200m and the 4x100m relay. The decade also saw some great sporting upsets, with Leicester City defying all the odds from almost being relegated to winning the 2015-16 Premier League title. Andy Murray became the first British player to win Wimbledon since Fred Perry in 1936, and the notoriously useless England football team made it to the semi-finals of the World Cup. Other surprises included the England women’s hockey team winning the 2016 Olympic gold and Sheffield beating Arsenal 3-0 in the fourth round of the 2015 FA cup (I had to mention it!) Of course, the decade did not come without its controversy. The FIFA scandal, in which officials were found to have accepted millions of pounds of bribes to host the World Cup in Qatar, much to the “surprise” of the rest of the world, shone a negative light on the world of football, the Rio Olympics and World Cup narrowly succeeded after much criticism and fears that stadiums would not be ready in time. Some of the biggest upheaval came after a 2014 documentary by German network ARD, uncovering widespread state-sponsored doping by the Russian Federation. The following investigation culminated in the banning of Russian athletes from participating in major sporting events until 2023. However, some still competed in the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang under the Olympic flag. This Winter Olympics also coincided with an easing in relations between North and South Korea, resulting in North Korean athletes marching alongside their South Korean counterparts in the opening ceremony. Indeed, whilst the rising stars of the next decade are making names for themselves – keep a keen eye on Max Verstappen, Freya Anderson and the England women’s netball team – there is still an air of uncertainty surrounding events such as the aforementioned 2022 Qatar World Cup, having faced allegations of abusing the human rights of workers, the postponed 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo, and the future of Russian participation in world sport.

By Lara Tobias-Tarsh

SPORT

REVIEW

A SERIES OF SOUTH HAMPSTEAD EVENTS by Megan Széll

Allow me to set the scene. It is May 2020. Bone-tired from a month of revision leading up to a week of exams, all whilst an international pandemic unfolds around us, I finally bring myself to edit that pesky magazine article that’s been sitting in my drafts folder since March. I had intended to write a timeline of significant events that had graced South Hampstead in recent memory. But considering we’re all experiencing a Pretty Significant Life-Event right now, upon a second visiting, these pale in comparison. Still, perhaps we could all use a slice of school life to remind us of the days of old. In rough chronological order (according to the author’s questionable memory, if you will excuse the lack of accuracy and dates), here are some of the events that have shaped SHHS into the school it is today…

The New Building We start as a new era dawns. Gone is the South Hampstead of old, and now, in its place, stands a quadrilateral amalgamation of concrete and glass. The Great Concrete Cube is among us. With such delightful attractions as the MUGA (caged in on two sides to add a real prison-courtyard feel to P.E.) and a state-of-theart heating system (100% carbon neutral – because it doesn’t work), what better environment could there be for working?

The Penguins When it was casually mentioned in a school newsletter that South Hampstead would be acquiring a collection of human-height penguin statues, I believe my first reaction was denial. In my mind, these took the form of scaled-up Club Penguin avatars, which I mentally placed around the school with a degree of hysterical hilarity. In truth, the penguins were suspiciously under-advertised. And then, suddenly, they must have snuck their way in, for stationed on every floor, by the lifts, by the entrance, in blazing gold and blue – penguins. Now, they are simply facts of life. In truth, I am only reminded that it is not customary for a school to be watched over by these flightless guardian angels when touring prospective parents. “What are the penguins for?” they question. Each time I provide a different answer. Each time, I am no closer to the truth.

The Oasis of Calm

Much like the London Eye, the Oasis of Calm was supposed to be a temporary addition. I don’t know how well circulated its pseudonym is, but for those who don’t know, the Oasis of Calm is the area on the 7th floor by the staircase with the beanbags. A wellness week creation, it is theoretically a refuge from busy school life, transporting the stressed and weary to the tranquil lands of the MFL department. Of course, depending on how well you tend to do on your weekly Spanish tests, relaxation levels may vary. Notable for its beanbags, which became the centrepieces of a peculiar streak of crime a few years back. A gory affair, in which beanbags were disembowelled and harvested for their fillings (the “beans”), which were then used in the illegal slime trade. Posters had to be put up reprimanding students for this bean-theft.

The Bell

It is strange to think there was a time before the bell. I remember it taking me by surprise, the glorious stocksound effect blasting itself into school life one fateful break. God forbid one ever stand beneath the speaker when it sounds. Many a chemistry class have I entered with ears ringing after making that mistake.

The Future When I wrote the first draft of this article in March 2020, I left this section blank, meaning to write some little epilogue of my predictions for what is to come. Ah, the ignorance of youth… I know now that I could never begin to predict what this year, being the amalgamation of alarming world-changing events it has proven to be, may throw at us. But South Hampsteadites will do what South Hampsteadites do best – mock, moan, and then move on. “Resilience” isn’t the “R” in TORCH for nothing (Editor’s note: resilience isn’t the R in torch at all, but regardless). Fare thee well, South Hampstead. Rest assured, we shall flood those empty halls once more.

The Final MUD The Hole of the Music Department (and other attractions): A mysterious and rather sizeable hole appeared in the wall of the 3rd floor bathrooms some time in 2019. Whence did it come? For what purpose is it left open? As of the writing of this article, it is still there. The bathrooms may have recently received a bougie-ing up, but I feel this design detail adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the aesthetic – a real homely feel. Apropos of that, the Great Staircase Shattering of 2020 occurred at the start of this year. Mirror breaking may be seven years’ bad luck, but let’s hope the same curse does not apply to glass staircase panels. (Editor's note: Well, that line aged badly. You heard it here first, folks; we found the real source of the-virus-that-shall-not-benamed.) As of quarantine, both attractions are still in our school. Check back for more riveting updates.

Photo evidence, for the non-believers

The iPads There was a time when iPads were brought up from their store in the library by the dozen, carried like crates of milk bottles to be distributed among the class. Ah, what glorious days were those, when one could waste a good 15 minutes of a lesson waiting for the iPads to be collected and passed around. Now, of course, each child is issued with an iPad upon entering the school. A truly vital addition to our education – it’s a wonder anyone ever passed exams before them. What followed was a period of slow, systematic purging of various apps and websites. But, for a few months at least, SHHS was England’s leading supplier of ad revenue for Buzzfeed. Alas, now one must discover which Disney princess they share pizza tastes with in their own precious time.

Muck Up Day – the day in which Year 11s are granted to power to do Whatever They Like, and yet somehow, manage to do the same thing every year. Balloons, graffiti, and burning through printer credit to paste as many memes around the school as possible - great fun for Year 11s, a mild inconvenience for the rest of the pupils, and probably the worst day of the year for anybody tasked with cleaning up the mess. Was banning MUD a good idea? Probably. Will the sight of Year 7 volunteers taped to the glass in the mornings be sorely missed? Definitely.

The Big Debate:

Positive Discrimination By Lucia Henwood & Sonja Belkin Positive discrimination, a policy used most famously and controversially in universities, refers to the idea that preference should be given to those from underprivileged backgrounds, and especially ethnic minorities, in recruitment and promotion. Although it has been around as an idea since at least the 1960s, recent cases in the news and legal challenges to the policy have made it more divisive than ever. In the culture wars that are sweeping America and much of Europe, it has become one of the most contentious issues, raising questions as varied and important as whether discrimination still exists and whether institutions need to change their admission processes. To some, the policy, also known as affirmative action, represents an important tool in addressing the inequalities that still tarnish our society. To others, it is a dangerous example of how the struggle for equality can lead to new and worse injustices. What is clear, however, is that as an issue which divides society and provokes debate, it’s not going away.

FOR: Equal opportunity

Positive discrimination is about ensuring everyone has equal opportunity to succeed. That is the simple idea at its heart and it’s one which, surely, almost all of us support. Where it becomes controversial is in its acknowledgement that equal opportunity does not just

automatically happen but requires active promotion of people from disadvantaged backgrounds in order to level the playing fields. Privilege makes everything easier, from gaining work experience to achieving high grades, so for universities and workplaces to select people for jobs and places, they need to look beyond the traditional markers of success. They need to consider candidates’ backgrounds, including their ethnicity and social class, to understand what barriers there may have been to them succeeding, and contextualise any information about their qualifications to focus on their potential, as well as their achievements so far. In effect, this often involves giving preference to those from disadvantaged backgrounds who have had to work far harder, face greater challenges, and show more talent and determination to achieve the same things as those born into privileged backgrounds. Unfortunately, the term ‘discrimination’ used to describe this has so many negative connotations, when, in fact, positive discrimination, when done effectively, is not the blunt and unfair tool that the term suggests. It is about acknowledging the broad range of circumstances that need to be considered when making a decision and realising that individual success, for example in exam results, is always shaped by social factors and needs to be viewed in that context, rather than in a vacuum

One of the criticisms most often raised against positive discrimination is that the priorities at its heart are wrong. What we should be aiming for, instead of a society where those in positions of power are perfectly representative of the population as a whole, is an environment where the best people can succeed, regardless of background. In other words, we should be working towards a meritocracy and, to do this, we need to select people, whether for jobs, promotions or university places, based purely on experience and skill, not on any other factors. Unfortunately, in societies still heavily divided by race and class, true meritocracies cannot exist. Recruiters are bad at assessing relevant criteria alone when choosing people for jobs and often even the best-intentioned and most open-minded of them are swayed by unconscious biases. When asked to choose the ‘best’ candidate for a position, people will select those who fit their preconceived ideas of what the chosen candidate should look like - often a white middle-class man. They will look at people who have succeeded in the past and try to pick others that have similar qualities. Therefore, only through actively encouraging people to choose those from less-represented groups will we be able to change the situation. In other words, we need positive discrimination to force people to rethink what they’re looking for and widen their perceptions of what constitutes a qualified candidate.

True meritocracies do not exist

We need positive discrimination to force people to rethink what they’re looking for and widen their perceptions of what constitutes a qualified candidate.

Society benefits too

Whilst the benefits of positive discrimination to individuals are clear, what often gets lost in the debate is that its advantages go far beyond that. All firms and institutions need a diverse array of employees to give them access to a broader range of experiences. Workplaces thrive off having a wide range of views to challenge preconceived beliefs and allow new ones to develop. From marketing, where companies need to know how to reach out to different groups, to education, where teachers from similar backgrounds may be able to better connect with their students, new voices and perspectives make organisations better and stimulate progress. The consequences of not having this kind of diversity can also be severe, not just for individual institutions but society as a whole. A recent report suggested that security services, like MI5, have missed opportunities to prevent terror attacks because of the background of the typical intelligence officers which they traditionally employ preventing them from being equipped with the understanding needed to spot crucial warning signs.

AGAINST: Minorities experience more harm than good Despite the compelling reasons behind the implementation of positive discrimination, for instance in the form of ‘affirmative action’ (when students from disadvantaged backgrounds are given lower grade requirements), positive discrimination may, in actuality, cause more problems than it solves. Firstly, it is possible that students who have performed at a lower grade standard may find themselves struggling, and, indeed, in a study of top US law schools, it was found that the drop-out rate among students admitted following affirmative action policies was more than double that of peers admitted by the school’s usual standards. This problem doesn’t only relate to affirmative action students there are similar drop-out rates for students admitted as “legacies”, demonstrating that, regardless of situation, being accepted into a university with lower grades can have an adverse effect on education. Instead of graduating with a good degree from a slightly less competitive university, students may be dissuaded from pursuing an education due to intense pressure and having to keep up. As a result, it can be argued that this system harms the students more than it benefits them.

Creates unfair standards for some minorities One case of positive discrimination being twisted into something harmful can be shown by the standards Harvard has applied to Asian-American applicants - the Harvard Dean of admissions even testified in a law-suit that Asian-Americans are expected to score at least 250 points higher on their SAT than their peers in order to gain entry to Harvard. Despite, on

average, having a higher SAT score than applicants from other backgrounds, Asian-American applicants had the lowest admission rates compared to any other racial group. It seems a stretch, in light of this data, to call such discriminatory policies ‘positive’, when, in fact, it appears to actively damage chances for certain minorities, simply on account of them being more likely to achieve better grades. Such policies, therefore, lead to a slippery slope, where merit no longer seems the most important factor in the application process. Moreover, whilst some minorities are put in the position of having unfair standards, others are further stereotyped. Having positive discrimination be based on race rather than on income means that it is far more identifiable which students may have benefitted from such measures. This could lead to the further alienation of such students who may be marked with a badge of inferiority by their peers and professors alike. As all human beings suffer from biases, which include stereotyping certain minorities with regards to education, it is very possible that professors will subconsciously expect less of minority students who they may assume did not get in solely on merit, and thus will reflect this in the way they grade papers. This policy will therefore do the opposite of what it claims it will do; it will not fix the lack of equality of opportunity, and may actually worsen the experience of some minorities while reducing access to others.

Distracts from the most important issues The form of positive discrimination used by most universities fails to properly address the core problem of systematic inequality in education. This is because positive discrimination measures are usually utilised as a result of backlash which universities feel they need a quick solution to. Universities are criticised for their lack of diversity, decide to take this small step to rectify the problem, but go no further in their efforts, effectively ensuring that the students they accept from disadvantaged backgrounds will struggle. The use of positive discrimination, therefore, acts as a convenient shield for universities to hide behind to avoid scrutiny. Furthermore, while being ‘needs-blind’ (as Harvard is) has its advantages - for instance that students know they will not be rejected simply because Harvard doesn’t want to provide any more full scholarships that year - it also leads to performative activism. By refusing to look at the actual economic background of their applicants, Harvard ends up accepting minority students with the highest grades, in order to fulfil their quota, but ignores that these individuals are more likely to be privileged. The students they accept as part of the positive discrimination policy, therefore, are not the ones who are being disadvantaged through not being able to attend a good school or afford a tutor. As a result, positive discrimination cannot be argued to be the ‘equaliser’ that it is often claimed to be.

CONCLUSION: As with most policies, positive discrimination has both its strengths and weaknesses it might increase opportunity for minorities but, equally, it might lead to more negative university experiences and higher drop-out rates.

While it is incredibly important to ensure that minorities gain access to higher education, it is also important to recognise that this policy is not a panacea; it will not immediately fix the barriers that exist in education. Instead of universities using positive discrimination as a way to avoid further scrutiny, they should recognise that, in order to really effect change, it is necessary to also increase the number of outreach programs earlier on in the students’ lives, as well as giving the opportunity for extra ‘catch-up’ classes catered to students who may have had lower entry grades. Other alternatives include a pre-university summer school to go over the beginning of the curriculum so students can have the head-start they need to thrive in the environment. These kinds of policies ensure that students will not struggle in the competitive environment - or even if they do, that they will have a place to go to receive support, without feeling like they aren’t measuring up to the standards of their peers, who have had far better ‘groundwork’ laid for them due to the privileges of being able to go to good schools and afford tutors. Moreover, in order to reduce the tokenisation of minorities, policies such as positive discrimination would benefit greatly from considering the actual economic situation of the student, rather than their minority - in order to prevent those in positions of privilege from taking away opportunities from those who need them more. This is already done in the UK where maps such as POLAR4 measure the extent to which young people in different areas of the country participate in higher education, which, combined with family income and type of school attended, allows universities to make the right decisions about which students have actually faced significant setbacks in their education.

NIKKI IVANOVA

DUBAI / NEW YORK

THE NEW ABNORMAL: A triumphant return to the top

A little over a month has passed since the Strokes emerged officially from their grave of seven years, or fourteen, as some of the harshest critics may suggest. Amongst the muted shock left in the wake of 9/11, The Strokes changed the face of music with their grungy, unfiltered debut Is This It, transforming them into Rock’n’roll heroes overnight. NME salivated over their every move, worshiping the disaffected drool of Julian Casablancas as if he were the messiah. Indeed, it seemed they were – from the ashes of dying Britpop, the Strokes raised amongst other bands; Franz Ferdinand, Vampire Weekend, The Kooks, The Killers and icons Arctic Monkeys. When Brandon Flowers heard Is This It for the first time, he threw out every song he’d written bar Mr. Brightside because he knew it wasn’t up to par. Alex Turner opens Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino with the immortal line ‘I just wanted to be one of The Strokes.’ It’s difficult to argue that any of the “indie revolution” of the 2000s could have happened without them. However, The Strokes’ initial success was followed by a steady spiral of (critical) decline. Follow up album Room On Fire (probably my favourite album of all time) was well received but regarded as an anti-climax despite presenting the public with mature-beyond-its-years Between Love & Hate, and their most popular track Reptilia. 2006 brought darker, heavier, more introspective First Impressions of Earth, marking a shift in style and reception. The first of two seven-year hiatuses culminated in Angles, in which the band had fallen out so heavily that Casablancas reportedly refused to record the vocals in the same studio as the rest of the band – a claim he refutes. Fifth album Comedown Machine was seen as more the fulfilment of a contractual obligation, released with a promotional blackout, no tour, and little acknowledgement from any of the band themselves. It seemed that this marked the end for The Strokes. Each member set out pursuing their own musical projects they had garnered during their first break and guitarist Nick Valensi was the last to do so with his (excellent) band CRX.

Written by Lara Tobias-Tarsh Meanwhile, Casablancas became embroiled in experimental electronic music, collaborating with icons Daft Punk before going in to release two albums with side project The Voidz, characterised by furiously political lyrics, heavily filtered vocals and soaring synths. Music that couldn’t be further from the overdriven, grainy guitars and air of indifference that shot them to fame as teenagers all those years ago. Fast forward to 2018, and suddenly the rusty cogs on the Strokes machine began to turn once again. A slew of live shows were announced, including a show at All Points East in Victoria Park (at which I could be found at the barrier, crying my eyes out to Razorblade – (un)fortunately documented in NME.) Suddenly there were new songs being played to rave reviews on Reddit, a huge show on New Years Eve with Hinds and Mac Demarco, an endorsement of Bernie Sanders and a show at his New Hampshire rally, and, on February 7th 2020, the news we had all been waiting for: a new album. (I could once again be found crying - this time to Sonja in Oakwood.) Titled The New Abnormal - eerily augural given the current global disaster - it seemed as if The Strokes finally had their mojo back. Timely too, the world needed an escape, and this wouldn't be the first time The Strokes had stepped up to the plate. The album is arguably their greatest achievement yet. Beautifully mixed, with tracks slipping seamlessly into one and other, whilst still maintaining their integrity as stand alone songs. Julian Casablancas' characteristic growl is often traded for a Thom Yorke-esque falsetto as he tackles his frustrations with love, his sense of self and the rapidly deteriorating state of democracy. The New Abnormal is the most political The Strokes have been to date, though it was a direction that seemed inevitable given the unapologetic protest albums Tyranny and Virtue he released with the Voidz. "We are fighting an invisible war" he once told James Corden much to his visible confusion - in an appearance on the Late Late Show.

Eternal Summer tackles the lackadaisical global response to climate change - 'They've got the remedy, but they won't let it happen', he shouts in the percussive vocal hook, a verbal slap in the face to the corporate oligarchy of the west. Intimate opener The Adults Are Talking warns of the same, lamenting the unbreakable grip and lack of integrity of the "higher-ups" of this world ("Stockholders/same s***, different lies,") on the political system. Even the album cover (pictured on the right) is evidence of this, the band selecting famous New York street artist Jean-Michel Basquiat's Bird on the Money. A title that could only be classed as entirely self-explanatory. The mark of producer Rick Rubin (the master behind the Beastie Boys' Licensed to Ill, Red Hot Chili Peppers' Californication, The Dixie Chicks' Long Way Home and Kanye West's Yeezus amongst others) is evident throughout, for the first time on a Strokes record, Casablancas' vocals take centerstage rather than mingling amongst the instruments in the mix. It feels almost surreal to understand immediately what is being said, though it seems reflective of the maturity the Strokes have gained at past forty, no longer mumbling, disaffected teenage boys. The synths have finally found their way in too, having been almost defining on the solo albums of each of the Stroke's own bands. The final single Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus could have as easily been written by Depeche Mode or Spandau Ballet, whilst the Silver Jews sample in the intro to closing track Ode to the Mets leaves it feeling plucked from the 80s. The culmination of this is the quintessentially unStrokes-like odyssey At the Door. No drums, no roaring guitars, just the intergalactic shimmer of synthesizers accompanying the album's most introspective, beautiful and heartbreaking lyrics. "Struck me like a chord/I'm an ugly boy", "I can't escape it/I'm never gonna make it to the end I guess." he almost weeps. I weep along with him. It would be wrong to say, however, that the Strokes have turned the tables entirely. Nick Valensi and Albert Hammond Jr still juggle the jaunty riffs and solos that have stamped their identity on every Strokes record since Is This It, whilst personal favorite Not the Same Anymore would have been right at home on Room on Fire. (No wonder I love it...)

Drummer Fab Moretti still holds the spiky melodies together, now forever immortalized with quip "Drums please, Fab," in the verse of Ode to the Mets. Nikolai Fraiture delivers a classic thumping bassline in Why Are Sundays so Depressing that nods to the likes of Juicebox and Fear of Sleep from the darker days of First Impressions of Earth. The true triumph of the album, however, is the outro to Ode to the Mets, the perfect balance between the new crisp, crooning vocals, and the old catchy, crunchy guitar riffs. It hooks you in, tears you up and spits you out with the final broken chord marking the end of the album, leaving you unfulfilled, desperate for more. It's the sort of album you can listen to on repeat for hours, the only thing that seems right after listening to Ode to the Mets is to turn the record back over and listen to The Adults Are Talking once more, just to reassure yourself that you haven't missed anything. The Strokes have come a long way to create The New Abnormal. They have delved into every sound a rock band could, fallen out, got back together and fallen out again. They've grown up, tried to walk their own paths, and found themselves back together in the right place, at the right time. The result is a cool, triumphant return to the top, leaving us to question how anyone could have suggested that they hadn't been there all along.

The New Abnormal is out now on RCA and Cult Records.

BOOK RANT. Written by Emily Man Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut THE NOVEL SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE FOLLOWS THE LIFE and adventures of Billy Pilgrim, which include being kidnapped by aliens and being “forced to mate” with a young, beautiful film star (who lacks any personality and whose actions are reduced to coupling with Pilgrim). The climax of the novel is his capture by the German Army during World War II and his subsequent survival of the bombing of Dresden, based on the author’s own experiences. When it was published, the novel was considered ground-breaking for its blurring of the sci-fi and anti-war genres and for the non-chronological format which incorporates time travel, flashbacks, and an unreliable narrator. Unfortunately, much like its alternative title - The Children’s Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death - it is pretentious and incoherent, failing to deliver on its brilliant and ambitious themes. Despite the avant-garde literary techniques, the novel fails to live up to (admittedly high) expectations. Pilgrim cuts a pathetic and unsympathetic figure whose character transformation seems to be limited as morose to more morose. Although his belief in free will and fate is supposed to contrast with the Tralfamadorians’ more passive philosophy, his behaviour towards his tormentor, Roland Weary, and his response to his abduction by aliens bears more resemblance to the alien philosophy than his supposed own. The tone is deliberately unpredictable to jar the reader but only ends up confusing and boring them, especially when it switches from the periods of his later life to space and back. The genre-hopping is fascinating but does not feel like it quite works in the novel, failing to effectively discuss the themes of fatalism and fate in a way that feels connected to the rest of the novel. The use of sci-fi feels as though it would work with either his surreal later life or his war experiences, however by mixing all three, the constant changes of setting and pace become too frequent and inconsistent for the reader to enjoy. From a 21st century perspective, Vonnegut’s portrayal of women is rather horrifying; he reduces them to objects, relevant to the story only in how they disappoint or provide pleasure to men.

Even when it was published, Vonnegut’s portrayal of women was shocking, although more for the explicit nature of the book rather than the general attitudes towards women in the book (which were common for a lot of post-war, often American literature by male authors). However, the response of many schools and institutions to ban or remove the book from their libraries does not resolve this issue. Despite its controversies, the novel remains one of the first literary acknowledgements of homosexual men as victims of the Holocaust. The clash between contemporary readers’ views and modern concepts reflected by the novel should not mean the book can be ignored and hidden. Rather, we should continue to openly read, question, and debate the topics. In conclusion, Slaughterhouse-Five is a brilliant but deeply flawed novel. It has original ideas and a radical style of writing, one which, unfortunately, is not realised to its full potential in this novel. Nevertheless, the concept remains intriguing and hopefully will be better explored in other novels.

BOOK RAVE. MURDER, FATE, DIVINITY, AND HELLENOPHILES: what’s not to love? In Donna Tartt’s eclectic first novel, ‘The Secret History’, all these elements are wound into a gripping, wildly imaginative concoction of a story and, all the while, Tartt masterfully sustains a narrative in flowing firstperson. Six eccentric and seemingly refined university students draw us into a world of their entitled boredom of one another and, in doing so, invite us into their weird and unruly fascination with the Bacchic rites - the rituals of the ancient Greek god of wine and revelry, Dionysus. Many times, the narrator Richard Papen mistakes the style of his friends for substance; dressed like Ralph Lauren advertisements, they breeze through the heady beauty of the Vermont campus as if the very wind parts for them. With the confidence of their privilege and their liberal use of seemingly sagacious Latin and Greek sayings, they entrance the unassuming Richard into their alarmingly dubious ways.

Written by Zeynep Kilic The Secret History by Donna Tartt The conflict between activity and passivity Tartt creates in the novel is particularly interesting. The narrator strikes us as characteristically lonely, forgetful (conveniently so), and charged with a colourless childhood. As a result, we feel as though he simultaneously recounts every event, making him the master of the story, while also excluding himself reacting, rather than acting. Tartt, in creating a mysteriously impartial narrator, is similar to Fitzgerald, though she escapes the dullness in writing emotional recollection which at times afflicts him. She manages to insinuate a feeling, rather than signpost one, and so the reader is as captured by what has happened in the story as Richard is by his companions. While the novel’s obsession with the classical world and gripping portrayal of pagan ecstasy are enough to thrill us, Tartt throws into the mix an extra factor for our interest: the atypical, ever sardonic professor/leader of the Dionysian cult, Julian Morrow. Tartt creates a shocking but undeniably alluring tapestry of his characterful charm, which could be pulled straight from a ‘Friends’ character, and his incisive intelligence, which could not. Tartt makes use of the ‘outsider’ character well- as she does with Theodore Decker in her 2013 novel, ‘The Goldfinch’. Though in ‘The Goldfinch’ Theodore can seem insistently removed from the people around him, in ‘The Secret History’ we see a more interesting and alarming progression of Richard’s, the protagonist’s, detachment: we see how lost he becomes, and rather than losing the interest of her readers in the process Tartt keeps us gripped and breathless. However, the novel is not without its flaws- of a similar lengthiness to her later novel, it consists of a huge 592 pages and sometimes even the swiftness of the plot isn’t enough to keep us excitedly turning page after page after page. Flaws aside, ‘The Secret History’ is a composition of what makes a novel dark, energetic, and tantalising. It's perfect to get stuck into this coming summer, and it will definitely implore you to embrace your dark side- though any ideas about the sanctification of murder may be going a bit far.

A NEW DECADE in FILM

Harriet Raphael

Both 'Parasite' and 'Queen and Slim' were movies that, for me, started the 2020 new decade of film. They were two very different films stylistically, thematically, and in almost every other way, but their common theme was the powerful and crucial messages they gave about discrimination and divides, in class and race. Their other common theme was their utter brilliance. Parasite tells the story of a poor family in South Korea who manage to infiltrate an upperclass household through posing as tutors, a chauffeur, and a cleaner. However, the movie takes a dark turn, containing so many twists it almost makes you nauseous. The film won Best Picture and 5 other Oscars, and it was well deserved, as a perfectly written, shot, and crafted movie. Queen and Slim is the story of two young African Americans who go on the run after killing a racist police officer in self-defence. The movie focuses on black solidarity and the continuing racial discrimination within America and the criminal justice system. Nevertheless, the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s main focus is the relationship that develops between the two characters. It was written with romance and subtleties, and directed with style and rhythm, but the real power of the movie was its ability to be so strong in its critique on society while, at the same time, deeply exploring the characters. The result was a very personal and emotional film. The film is simple in narrative, much the opposite of the twisting nature of Parasite; it is, as one of the characters puts it, about â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Black Bonnie and Clydeâ&#x20AC;?. Despite the simplicity, the story is never boring, and the character development is so well crafted that the audience quickly becomes deeply invested. The story emphasises the solidarity of the community through African American family members, strangers, and cops attempting to help the two protagonists escape. The film brings a message of hope, even though it could, so easily, have been solely depressing. The film wraps up by focusing on the legacy of the two main characters, but begs the question: how many more Black people have to die before change happens?

The film conveys this message by showing how Queen and Slim are ordinary people who met on Tinder. They arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t looking for trouble or meaning any harm, and the situation they get into is due to discrimination. The two fall in love and have many more experiences along their journey. This exploration of character conveys how these are young people with raw emotion, who have barely lived their lives and experienced love, yet hatred and ignorance can lead to their lives being so easily taken from them. The characters represent a whole movement and whole race of people who still have to deal with oppression and discrimination, and how this is not just a news-story but about real, individual people who love, hate, argue, have sex, appreciate beauty, and still have so much to live for. It is a beautiful movie that honours those who have died, faced police brutality, and all who have faced discrimination in this way. Parasite was a technically brilliant film in both writing and directing. Every moment was perfectly crafted allowing the audience to be led on a journey in the film whilst being affected by the minutest details without even realising. It also managed to perfectly balance multiple unexpected twists without ever becoming gimmicky or outlandish. The movie is an exploration of class, and every shot, every line, every piece of set and props was utilised to enhance the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s message, without ever being obvious or forceful. Like Queen and Slim, Parasite was subtle yet powerful. The use of stairs and levels to represent class and hierarchy, alongside the genius scriptwriting, makes sure every moment has a weight to it. The movie also illustrates the isolating and damaging power of money and capitalism; through its two very contrasting depictions of an intimate poor family and an unaffectionate rich family. I think this is such an important message because, as the world becomes more consumerist and divided by wealth, it is important to remember the things that are truly important in life: love and equality. These films are both works of art, in so many ways, but the reason why I believe they have begun to define the new decade of film is because of the strength in their messages. As a society, we are becoming increasingly more active and engaged in the problems in the world. These are movies of revolution, preaching equality to young people through the medium of film, in a creative and deeply emotional way. I hope that these messages of equality and a need for action will define the next decade.

TRANSPORTED I

Honor Miers & Penelope Toong

We present a story in two halves, a pre-lockdown reminder of that old life.... Keeping my head angled firmly down, I fought my way through the ticket hall against the grey- suited tide of commuters. The gate slammed open with a shrill beep and I was shoved through. Rushing down the escalator, I glanced at my watch, wondering at its tirelessness as it ticked away against my wrist, dictating the tempo of my life. I reached the platform, rubbing my itching eyes and squinting at the board. 2 minutes. I joined a knot of people queuing at the door as the train pulled in, rattling. As I stepped on, my foot caught on the edge of the train and I fell face first onto another passenger. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” I said, turning bright red. “No, no it’s ok. Sorry.” he replied, helping me up. “Are you alright?” “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you” I said. I looked up to see the man who’d helped me and froze. Oh God this was embarrassing. I turned hurriedly away, hoping he hadn’t recognised me. He was the guy I’d thrown up on at New Years. I glanced over my shoulder. He didn’t seem to have noticed. Still blushing, I found a seat and stared at the shoes of the passengers opposite me, running the situation over and over in my head. To my dismay, the man who helped me up sat only a few seats away. He was speaking to the man next to him. The girl sitting next to me had the volume on her headphones up so loud I couldn’t hear what he was saying. The train screeched around a corner, deafening everyone. Even headphone girl winced. The people standing in the aisle knocked against each other, resulting in another cascade of muttered “sorrys’’. I glanced at my watch again. 08:49. I was going to be late again. Joel would lose it. He’d been trying to close a deal recently and it was stressing him out. As a result, he’d been taking it out on the whole team. I’d tried to get up early this morning, but I was so tired. So tired... I opened my eyes to sunlight streaming through the leaves of the trees, throwing dappled shadows over the floor and walls of the carriage. All was silent except for the rhythmic clatter of the train on the tracks. With a jolt I stood up. I was the only one in the carriage. Bile rose in my throat as I checked the map to see how far I’d gone. There was no excuse, no possible excuse for what happened. I couldn’t exactly go in and say “Sorry, I fell asleep” could I? My boss would lose it. I was on the other side of the city. I’d be back by lunch even if I took a taxi. And the team. We were meant to close a deal today. Joel would get angry at them for me not being here today. Leaning back against the door, I sighed. What could I do? The damage was done. As I watched the countryside roll past, a weight seemed to lift off my shoulders. I smiled at the sun. Just one day. One day couldn’t hurt, could it?

TRANSPORTED II Keeping my head down, I wound through the crowd, slamming my card against the reader. The gates admitted me with a shrill beep, and I emerged to find myself caught in the rush of bodies. We flowed down the escalators, a human tidal wave, relentlessly headed onwards. I moved with everyone else, emerging to see a train at the platform. A mechanised whistle sounded, and the doors began to slide shut. A few tried to jump through as always, but the doors closed in my face. Helplessly, I watched the train slide away and glanced at the signs above the platform, their readout determining my fate. I breathed a sigh of relief. 2 minutes. I fell into a knot of regular commuters, queuing exactly where the carriage doors would open. The train pulled in, rattling. I stepped on and began turning to find a seat, when a body in a bright coat fell into me. Instinctively, I reached out. "Oh my god, I’m so sorry." The figure said, cheeks flaming to match the brilliant autumnal coat. "No, no it’s ok, sorry." I automatically replied, wincing as I rubbed my ribs. "Are you alright?" “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you." I studied the figure, glancing at her. The brilliant coat was rumpled, but otherwise fine. The woman’s face… I recognised it from somewhere. A memory nagged at me, one faded behind a night of drunkenness. I needed a coffee. She turned away and headed for a miraculously still-empty seat. I trailed behind, managing to grab a spot. The woman was a few seats away, staring at her heels, mouth compressed. The man next to me sighed as he sat. I glanced up. He opened his mouth, but whatever he said was lost as the doors screeched shut. I stared at the map, coloured lines interweaving together in an alternative city. There was a girl a few seats away playing ridiculously loud music through her headphones. The train churned onwards through the tunnel, careening sharply around a corner, a screech of wheels on rails. I winced as bodies knocked into one another, a series of muttered ‘sorrys’ travelling down the train. I began considering the day ahead. There was lots to do, no deals thank goodness, but plenty of smaller jobs that would take time. I groaned inwardly just thinking about it, and mentally reviewed the contents of my wallet. If I hurried, I might be able to grab a coffee before I was late to work. I should have gotten up earlier, but I was tired. So tired… I opened my eyes as the train shuddered to a halt with a shriek of breaks. The station lights streaming through the grimy windows were bright after the darkness of the tunnel. Unsteadily, I rose to my feet and sprinted out of the carriage, joining the line of people headed for the escalators. The red-coated woman rushed through my peripheral vision as the train clattered away. Turning, I climbed up and out the station. It had started raining over the city. The water misted the sky, obscuring the tops of the glass towers clustered along the river. I stood for a second and watched the fringes of sunlight slashing through the clouds. Just enough time left to grab a coffee. My feet automatically carried me out from the centre of the station and into the streets. I smiled to myself. One more day couldn’t hurt, could it?

THE GENERA BY ELENO

The Circle of Time: Strauss-Howe Generational Theory Have you noticed how time moves in circles? Had a feeling that déjà vu was not just a feeling? That the same things just seem to happen again and again? How history... repeats itself? Fear not! You’re not crazy – Fourth Turning Theory has the answers!

PR O PH ET

THE ART IST

TH E

The Fourth Turning Theory (also known as Strauss-Howe Generational Theory) was first proposed in the book ‘Generations’ by William Strauss and Neil Howe in 1991 and was further expanded on in their 1997 book ‘The Fourth Turning’. It proposes that history runs on 80-90 year cycles called ‘saeculum’. Each of these ‘saecula’ are divided into four periods, or ‘turnings’, lasting roughly 20 years. The first ‘turning’ in the cycle is known as ‘the High’, the second ‘the Awakening’ and the third and fourth are ‘the Unravelling’ and ‘the Crisis’ respectively. Within each ‘saeculum’ are four generational archetypes that correspond to each ‘turning’. These archetypes are ‘the Prophet’, ‘the Nomad’, ‘the Hero’, and ‘the Artist’. The following shows how it applies to our current ‘saeculum’ (1946 – 2026):

TH E

The ‘first turning’ is characterised by social stability, law and order. Dissident groups might feel stifled by excessive conformity and the lack of space for their views. It is ‘The Artist’ generation that reaches adulthood during this period. ‘Artists’ tend to be less rebellious than other generations and are more cautious, desiring to better society as a whole rather than themselves as individuals. The ‘High’ of our current ‘saeculum’ would have been considered the American High (1946-1964), when ‘50s values prospered. The last ‘Artist’ generation, known as ‘the Silent Generation’, married early and sought stable jobs in post-war America.

H ER O

‘THE HIGH’

TION THEORY R ROBINS ROBINS R

'THE UNRAVELLING’ ‘The third turning’ is the opposite of a ‘High’, and is defined by periods where individualism is at its strongest. ‘Nomad’ generations, characterised by their free-agent, survivalist outlook (for those who have watched ‘Star Wars’, think Han Solo) reach adulthood during these periods. The last ‘Unravelling’ lasted from around 1984 – 2008, where distrust in political leaders grew and punk rock, grunge, and hip-hop began to emerge onto the mainstream music scene. ‘Generation X’, our last ‘Nomad’ generation, include Jay Z, Will Smith and the ‘Friends’ cast.

'THE CRISIS'

‘THE AWAKENING’ ‘The second turning’ is a period where values and social norms of the ‘High’ are questioned and discarded in favour of more individualistic ideals. It is ‘The Prophet’ generation that reaches adulthood in this period, as young revolutionaries chase new ideas and pursue the freedom to express themselves. The last Awakening’, 1964 – 1984, contained the hippy era, where feminism, the civil rights movement, and experimentation with fashion and music were at the forefront of society. ‘Baby Boomers’ such as Donald Trump, Oprah Winfrey and Tony Blair are the last ‘Prophet’ generation.

‘The fourth turning’ is considered the climax of social change, the time of destruction. It often, but not always, results in war or revolution and is perceived as a threat to a nation’s survival. During the ‘Crisis’, society finds a new purpose and rebuilds with new values and ideals. ‘The Hero’ archetype comes of age during a ‘Crisis', characterised by confidence and cooperation. According to the theory, we are currently going through a ‘Crisis’, with Millennial ‘Heroes’. The current crisis began with the financial crash of 2008, while, throughout history, WWII and the American Civil War have also been marked out as examples of the fourth turning. According to the theory, Generation Z, our generation, is an Artist generation, destined to shape and sculpt a peaceful world following the chaos of the ‘Crisis’ period. Many have praised ‘Fourth Turning’ for its accuracy in predicting the future. Equally many call it unscientific hocus-pocus. I ask you, my reader, to form your own conclusions.

Illustrations by Lara Economakis

A LETTER TO THE EDITORS Madam,

I am writing to clarify my position on the Oxford comma, one which has lost me many friends among Oxford comma evangelists, including some on the editorial team of this very publication. I have nothing against the Oxford comma. In fact, I even find it useful in some situations. However, I would argue that it is often unnecessary and sometimes even misleading. Unlike one of my friends, I do not consider the purpose of punctuation to be to add elegance or flourish to a piece of writing – it is functional, not decorative. Instead, its role is to avoid confusion and remove doubt and that, sadly, is not what the Oxford comma always achieves. Consider the following examples, the first often used to illustrate the need for the Oxford comma, painting a terrifying picture of the confusion, even chaos, that can ensue without it: I would like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

As Oxford comma devotees often suggest, arguably with a questionable degree of sincerity, this sentence could easily be misunderstood by any poor reader unfamiliar with the context. ‘Are Ayn Rand and God the parents?’ they might ask, presumably then going on to wonder about how that would even be possible. To those who have built their lives around campaigning for the Oxford comma, staking their very reputations on its acceptance, this example proves conclusively what they’ve always argued: an Oxford comma would provide clarity and remove any confusion. Ayn Rand and God are not the parents; the author is referring to different people.

Consider as well, however, the following example, created within the walls of Oakwood with the help of a former Oxford comma polemicist converted to my way of thinking (whose name has been withheld for her safety): I would like to thank my ex-wife, Kim Kardashian, and my sister. Here, the Oxford comma surely adds confusion. Is my ex-wife Kim Kardashian? Admittedly unlikely, yet still possible as no clarity is provided by the sentence’s punctuation. Alas, it seems the Oxford comma can both create and remove confusion; it neither invariably illuminates nor invariably mystifies. Perhaps my esteemed friend was right and there can be no rules to punctuation – it’s simply an art to be applied as one likes. It serves no more function than to enrich the lives of pedants and provide a subject for this letter. Fortunately, there is no need for despair as I’ve created a solution to this particular Oxford comma problem. It is the culmination of my life’s work and my greatest, perhaps only, achievement which I’m proud to present here today. I call it the singular-plural dependent Oxford comma and I hope it will bring you as much pleasure and clarity as it has brought me. The rule is simple: if the first clause of the list is a singular noun, no comma is used. Thus, the two nouns that follow cannot be taken to refer back to the first one – my ex-wife cannot be both my sister and Kim Kardashian. That would be absurd – as the structure of the sentence demonstrates she is only one person after all. Conversely, if the first clause is a plural noun, an Oxford comma should be used, thereby avoiding any potential doubt about whether my parents were both Ayn Rand and God. My parents cannot simply be Ayn Rand. There are, of course, some situations in which this does not work – if both the first two clauses have plural nouns who knows what to do. May God (and Ayn Rand) help us all – but it should go some way to providing clarity. As a result, I hope I can be forgiven for my stance on the Oxford comma and that this concession towards compromise can help to bring together the two sides of this divisive debate, too long marred by anger, recrimination(,) and violence.

Regards, Lucia Henwood

EMILIA BEHIND THE SCEN

ES PHOTOS

CAPTURED BY MILLIE SLADE

Fashion Retrospective: How to dress like a 1920's lady By Isabella Levitt 2020 marks the 100 year anniversary of 1920. While the current decade will probably be known for World War 3, global warming and the coronavirus, the 1920s were full of jazz, jiving and jewels. There has been a slightly disappointing lack of 1920s inspired pieces on the runway, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. Let the waists once again drop.

1920s daywear

In the 1920s, Coco Chanel exploded onto the scene, bringing French cloche hats, an androgynous figure and for the first time in modern European history, dresses that showed the calves. In our time, a just-below-the-knee skirt isn’t very awe inspiring. However, in an era which previously had women wearing corsets, petticoats and dresses down to the floor, this was a cultural revolution. Outfits also became much more androgynous, showing off the desired “boyish” flat-chested figure. This was mirrored by the growing feminist movement of the time - especially after World War One where woman received their first taste of the working world. This masculine trend also saw women cutting their hair into a liberating short bob style.

A Modern Twist

I must be clear here, drop waists should never come back in fashion. They really put the flat in unflattering, when instead we should be celebrating all body types. Instead of a dress, try a floaty blouse paired with elegant trousers in a complimenting hue. If you like buckets, try a very tall French hat shaped like one and a small velvet purse with a nature-inspired print. For the more daring amongst you, cut your hair shorter- it's only permanent for a short while.

1920s Nightwear

Flappers ruled the nightlife scene and going out became all the more exciting when alcohol was banned in the US. If you wanted martinis, you had to be sneaky. Fringes and beading were very in because they provided great movement when dancing. Hemlines crept up a few inches while still remaining 'ladylike'. Add some beads and a pair of cha-cha shoes and the look was good to go. Women looked up to the styles of Clara Bow and Josephine Baker, two silent film stars who were amongst the greatest style icons in the decade.

A 2020 Night Out

Flappers may be a thing of the past but that doesn’t mean the flapper style should go out of fashion. Try fringe! On a dress, on a bag, in a hair accessory, on a shoe or on your forehead. Try a shorter flapper dress with a slimmer cut to help the look stand the test of time and not be considered frumpy. Sky high heels could take a step-down and be replaced with a fancy cha-cha shoe. Dazzle a mister, avoid a blister and dodge a twisted ankle with these heels that will have you jiving all night long (which is how long it took to make that rhyme). 1920s fashion is undoubtedly iconic and is still worn today. In halloween costumes.... This coming spring, don’t be a napper, be a flapper! But don’t go out on the town if you’re underage. Trust me, I tried that once and I ended up at my stepsister’s bat mitzvah. To stop being a “bluenose” and start being a “choice bit of calico” be a “hotsy-totsy” lady in cha-cha shoes.

Eco-Friendly Kenya By Keya Nandra

Over the winter holiday last year, I went to Kenya with my family. I visited the David Sheldrick Trust, which protects orphaned elephants, and stayed at an eco-friendly hotel.

Staying at an eco-friendly hotel!

During the holiday, I was staying at a hotel that had many programs to care for the environment such as a butterfly park and turtle area. This was great, because I could give back to the ecosystem whilst enjoying my holiday.

The Butterfly Park

Litter-Picking

The Turtle Area

The David Sheldrick Trust

The Butterfly Park collects eggs of endangered or vulnerable species of butterfly. They care for them, and when they pass into the stage of a cocoon, they put them in a different room until they become butterflies. They are then moved to a bigger enclosure where we could see them flying around. I learnt to hold a butterfly in the correct way, and it was really fun being taught about each one, their behaviour and their daily life. The experience of being in a room with all the butterflies moving around was definitely exhilirating.

The Turtle Area is a safe enclosure where turtle eggs are placed before they hatch. Turtles are becoming endangered more and more, so the hotel are doing what they can to protect them. When turtles hatch, staff are there to make sure nobody steps on them or accidentally hurts them, and birds are shooed away. My beach bed was near the turtle area, where the turtles stay in solid, secure enclosures so no predators can enter. I loved going down to the beach every morning to visit the turtle eggs. One dramatic moment was when a snake slithered up a tree with its sights set on the unhatched eggs. Its plan was foiled when it was spotted, and staff thankfully soon captured and removed it from the site.

One of the activities in the hotel schedule was litter picking as the hotel beach does have some litter on it. This litter is mostly plastic bottles, which are needed to ensure guests at the hotel have safe water to drink. All guests were encouraged to participate. Of course, collecting litter and disposing of it safely can also help endangered species like turtles because they can eat it or get caught in it. I thoroughly enjoyed doing a good thing in such a beautiful setting.

While I was staying at the hotel, I decided to find places to visit in Kenya as I wanted to explore the country more, and this is when I first found out about the David Sheldrick Trust. The David Sheldrick Trust helps to rescue and raise orphaned elephants in Kenya until they're old enough to be returned to the wild. In addition, they care for sick and injured animals and try to protect animals and habitats. We spent a day visiting, and it was really exciting to watch elephants play in the mud and drink their milk. I found it hilarious seeing how they interacted, throwing mud at each other. Whilst we watched the elephants, some of the staff explained who each elephant was and their backstory. It was really moving as many of the orphaned elephants had really sad backstories. We eventually decided to adopt two elephants called Laro and Kiasa. People who adopt an elephant are given the opportunity to visit them in the afternoon and, by coincidence, it was my elephantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s birthday, so she got special treatment like extra blankets and more milk. We got to see the elephants go to bed and speak to their individual carer, which was fascinating.

Visit the Trust here!

Upon returning, I was excited to find out that the trust has a big presence in London too. In Marble Arch, there are stunning sculptures of adult and baby elephants that were placed by the David Sheldrick Trust to raise awareness for their work.

Illustration by Penelope Toong

Will It Waffle?

Amelia Arthur, Lucia Taylor & April Allan

Next we got experimental, and decided to throw halloumi sticks into the mix. Hoping for some crispy melted cheese, we were severely dissatisfied when rock hard sticks with small indents came out of the waffle iron. To be frank, it was a complete let down and barely deserves a 2/5.

Feeling confident from our last attempt, we decided it was time to put a whole lunch inside this waffle iron. After stuffing a whole pitta with hummus and falafel, we shoved it in the iron with no second thought. We let our confidence get the better of us with this one, as not only was the end result mediocre but the smell was so nauseating we had to leave the house to get fresh air. It goes without saying that this is a 1/5.

LUNCH - PITTA

DINNER -WRAP

We began with some pre-made cupcakes. We instantly started to regret making this article as soon as we heard the sizzling frosting that foreshadowed the imminent washing up that, well, mainly Lucia would have to endure. However the warm, toasted, but most importantly, waffled product that came out the iron was so irresistible we had to continue. Out of five we’d give it a strong 3.5.

HALLOUMI

PIZZA

CUPCAKES

New decade, new trends, new foods. We all know the standard use of waffle irons, but we want to push that to the limit. We’re starting a food revolution, and we have one question for you – will it waffle? To make cooking at home easy for you all, without the pots and pans and burning ovens, we’ve decided to shove anything we could find into a waffle iron. We started our waffle journey at Waitrose in the midst of COVID19. Shelves were stripped bare, but luckily we weren’t there for toilet paper. We scavenged for everything and anything that would vaguely fit in the waffle iron.

The disappointing results of the last round not only left us dissatisfied but also left the waffle iron in a dire state. We needed a staple food to bring our edge back, so we put a whole pizza in there. The truth is you really can’t go wrong with pizza, and the end result was definitely worthy of a 4/5.

And finally, we took it to the next level. We thought it was time to shove a whole dinner into that tiny waffle iron. Our confidence was at an all time low, but with such high stakes we had to go out with a bang. We stuffed a wrap with chilli, cheese, and home made guacamole and salsa. We had our doubts on whether this would even work, but the end result was so undeniably delicious that it truly deserves a 5/5.

We’ve started to waffle-iron fajitas, wraps, quesadillas, and even burritos ever since, which we believe truly shows waffle ironing is the superior way to cook food. We hope this article will make you more experimental with foods in the future - just as long as those foods aren’t pitta or halloumi sticks.

By Maria Levina

3 Maresfield Gardens Greater London, NW3 5SS England