Country School in New York City which — rolling greens and
the Traits for Success had been too heavily weighted toward
Greek portico aside — sounds a little like Pegasus.
performance. Sure, our kids might become very successful with
those skills. But will they be good people?”
There is no shortage of printed opinion on how we raise and
educate well-off children, and a sizable group of psychologists
and educators argue that the system now in place — a practice
success traits had been an effort to indicate academic-rigor
that has given birth to AP overload, GPA inflation and Olympic-
while eschewing the gifted label, Green shrugged. “Academics—
level extracurricular commitments — are, in fact, hurting them.
we simply have it here, and at a high level. What teachers felt we
Add to that a growing number of parents who, while pushing
needed to restore was that safe place: safe to be smart, safe to try,
their kids to excel, inadvertently shield them from exactly the
safe to fail.” That’s about re-building community, re-connecting
kind of experience that can lead to character growth (like: child
divisions, and re-visiting the values represented by the Be Kind
writes a “C” essay; Dad fights for an “A-”).
Committee, she explained.
“Grit still matters,” said Green. “But only in conjunction
“Although they would almost certainly not express it
When asked whether the predominance of performance-
this way,” says Tough, “wealthy parents choose a school
with ethical grounding can it help a child negotiate her way to a
like Riverdale for their children, at least in part, as a risk-
thriving and autonomous adulthood, within society.”
management strategy. What it offers parents is a high
probability of non-failure.”
Success were amended to reflect more accurately the core
values of the greater Pegasus community. These newly named
And yet, according to Tough, and Riverdale Head of School
By the end of the summer, The Pegasus School Traits for
Dominic Randolph, and parents everywhere (on some level, at
Community Values may appear on placards, from time to time. But,
least), the best way for a person to build character is for him
more importantly, they will be on display in every teachable
or her to attempt something where there is a real and serious
moment, in sensitive decisions such as class placement, and in
possibility of failure.
the long-established and new Pegasus programs designed to
CHANGING BACK
challenge kids to fail – as they have been for 30-plus years.
So, studies verify a connection between character-building
THE MEANING OF MEANINGFUL
failures and disappointments and success in school and life,
There is no doubt that my daughters will leave Pegasus
and character-education programs pop-up everywhere. Banners
academically qualified for high school. Though I can’t predict
extolling virtues like persistence and integrity flutter in school
future GPAs, college acceptance rates, or professional salaries,
hallways to the point of ubiquity (and, if eighth-grade eyes
I am certain that each will be successful in aspects that we
glazing over is any indication, futility). In recent years, educators
value: responsible, honest, dogged, and kind, to name a few. We
everywhere have been guilty of character-ed slogan overload.
picked Pegasus to do more than simply help accompany the girls
If the genuine act of trial and failure and trial-again builds
where they were going already. We picked the school because it
the grit and self-confidence that begets success, isn’t the mere
reflected our values and our inexact ideas on parenting which,
articulation of these values another shortcut?
frankly, has been a hit-or-miss mix of lecturing, modeling, and
letting-go.
Character is one of those words that muddy many
conversations because it means different things to different
people. In 2008, an organization called the Character Education
said, translates to teaching. “We can’t protect a student from
Partnership published a paper that divided character instruction
every problem — nor would we want to. But we can shape
into two categories. One was based on “moral” character and
thinking so that students (and parents) understand failures or
stressed ethical values like fairness and integrity. The other
setbacks to be teachable moments, as opposed to the worst thing
emphasized “performance” and pointed to qualities like zest and
that has ever happened.”
perseverance.
community has been reflecting on its identity so dynamically in
According to Green, the selection of Paul Tough’s bestseller
Green chuckled, clearly relating to my technique that, she
The modeling-part starts with all of us, said Green. “Our
invited teachers to reflect on who-we-are and what-we-value as
response to setbacks. We will be stronger because of it.”
a school. For seasoned second-grade teacher, Sharon Goldhamer,
the dialogue was cathartic. “I wasn’t alone in thinking that
20 THE PEGASUS SCHOOL
Some people call that grit.