OPINION
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Chico Confidential: Advice from a grad Joanna Hass OPINION COLUMNIST
Advice is stupid. Advice is lame. It is non-specific. It is over-simplified. It is not helpful. For every season there is a piece of advice, and for every piece of advice there is a cliche just as unhelpful. What can we learn from advice? Nobody knows what the advice-giver is talking about. Advice from parents, teachers, friends and family might as well be spoken through the mouth of Charlie Brown’s teacher. I could go full-tilt cynic and claim that advice was invented by the greeting card companies to boost sales. But the feeling of wanting to give advice is genuine. That’s what advice should be remembered for — that someone once cared enough about you to put on their superhero mask and try to save you with a 30 word road map to success. The problem is that no such thing exists. Advice is specific to each person, and following the paths given to us by well-intended soothsayers only gives us our own pieces of advice to pass on. The is the advice people should give — real guidance gained from life experience by trying conventional advice. But they don’t. Because what do people love more than thinking they know what you need to hear? Leaving out the bad parts of their own lives, that’s what. That’s what this is — advice I’ve had to discover I wish someone had told me.
CHICO STATE STUDENT # 867479
WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 2011 |
Chico’s sad school spirits Then they’d go on to explain in detail how they loved to go binge drinking. After the two-hour show I came to one conclusion — because of the culture of alcohol abuse at Chico State, too many students are convinced that it’s socially unacceptable to have fun with just one drink. Who are we kidding when we try to tell people we’re not a party school? Chico is fun. At least until the next morning when I have the urge to vomit and drink nine cups of coffee to make me feel half sober. But we’re not unique in our love of liquor. Any college can be a party school, it just depends on your attitude. No matter where you go to receive a higher education, students will inevitably at one point be pressured to drink. Take MIT— a pretty prestigious university, right? Would you be surprised to hear they were voted the 25th party school in the nation by Playboy Magazine in 1987? It’s understandable that the freedom of college is accompanied by the curiosity to experiment with alcohol, but at some point, we need to exercise personal responsibility and draw a straight-edged line in the sand. Once we decide to become responsible adults, then those who accuse us of being an infamous “party school” will realize that there are more important things to us than getting completely Sheen-faced. Please drink responsibly — and if you can’t, then at least try to stay conscious.
August Walsh OPINION COLUMNIST
Hey bartender — pass me a few beers, three shots of Captain Morgan, some Advil and a chaser of morningafter regret. It’s 3 p.m. on a Tuesday at Chico State — time for some good old-fashioned binge drinking. Unfortunately, it seems like social gatherings in Chico are always mixed with alcohol. Many times friends have invited me out for a social drink that evolved into half a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a 30-pack of Keystone. It’s slightly unhealthy, to say the least. Last summer, on my birthday no less, the host of the VH1 reality show Celebrity Rehab stormed into town to lecture about the culture of alcohol abuse in universities. Because of its reputation as a “party school,” Chico State was the perfect venue for Dr. Drew. It was the ultimate birthday present. Dr. Drew asked the college-aged audience why students felt the need to get drunk while socializing. Students responded with a variety of answers — some wanted to feel more comfortable while approaching the opposite sex, and others wanted recognition from their peers. As I listened to the stories of luck, ladies and liquid courage, I couldn’t help but laugh. Most students around me would shake their heads and sigh, showing their disagreement with Drew.
A9
THUMBS >> Thumbs Up to the Glee Cast for making Rebecca Black’s “Friday” tolerable. Fun, fun, fun, fun.
Thumbs Down to Bluetooth headsets. I can’t tell if you’re on the phone or auditioning for the role of Gollum.
Thumbs Up to Bruno Mars for his “Lazy Song” video. Who else could pop and lock with pimp-panzees?
August Walsh can be reached at awalsh@theorion.com
Thumbs Down to Cramster for deserting us in our final hour of need.
You can get the hell out.
College, and life for this matter, is not a prison sentence. You cannot be trapped by your own circumstances. If you think you went to the wrong college, chose the wrong roommates, signed up for the wrong class or even just bought the wrong color sweater, get out now. Changing your mind or admitting you were wrong is not a crime, so there is no reason to let your school colors feel like the black and white stripes of an old-fashioned inmate.
There is no such thing as a “Chico girl.”
If it’s in reference to the females that attend Chico State, then it’s an oxymoron. Those are Chico women, not girls. The sooner they put that in the university’s informational brochure, the sooner we can all stop putting her down and making bigoted claims. The Chico woman is not a stereotype, but rather a classification for women who happen to attend college in Chico. Stereotypes are bad, m’kay. But nobody minds being a part of a classification. Especially one that frees you from the unrealistic and damaging expectations made of “Chico girls.”
Get pictures or it didn’t happen.
Don’t let dead batteries be the reason you don’t remember your college experience. And if you don’t have a camera, remember that it’s 2011. Digital cameras aren’t just for rich people anymore. Take pictures. Take pictures often. Invest in your past, because there will be rainy days in the future and photo albums warm you up like a Snuggie around your heart. Now everybody say “Aww.” More importantly, you don’t want to wake up someday and realize the only frame on your wall is a piece of paper with your name and major on it.
You’re not really missing anything.
Whether you stay at home with your spine bent over a book or you go out every night and blow off school, you’re not really missing anything. Hindsight is for quarterbacks and rearview mirrors. Given the chance, people will make anything about their own experience sound enviable. The problem is, they won’t ever tell you that your story is great, too. Even though it is, as long as you keep it going.
The Orion can be reached at editorinchief@theorion.com
ILLUSTRATION BY ASHLEY VIEGAS
Women, not men, deserve priority in abortion debate Kelly Hering OPINION COLUMNIST
There has always been heated debate on whether or not men should be able to vote on abortion laws. Some men feel they have a say on the topic because the unborn child is half theirs. They argue that men and women are essentially equal when it comes to control over their bodies, pointing out that male circumcision and abortion are partially determined by someone other than the person who undergoes the procedure. But you cannot compare circumcision to abortion. You just can’t. It’s the difference between surgery that removes skin and a procedure that determines whether or not a new person enters the world. Many men cannot understand the impact an unexpected pregnancy can have on a woman’s life — they just aren’t hardwired to experience the same physical and emotional changes a woman undergoes when they’re expecting. Let’s be clear here — I am not stating that all men are insensitive to maternal instinct. I am not a feminist, but a humanist. I don’t believe women should expect more respect from men, but rather demand it from themselves. Neither sex should seek total acceptance and fulfillment from the other, but instead be confident in their own strengths as a person — not as a male or female. Hear me out, men — you had the chance to protect this pregnancy from happening. You could have used
a condom, remained abstinent or even collaborated with other men to show drug companies there is significant demand for male birth control. But when contraceptives fail, your part is over. The woman you had sex with is pregnant, not you. She will carry, deliver and nourish the baby with her body. You had your chance to decide, now she has hers. If you feel strongly enough about the issue, then you should be able to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about becoming a parent. If you don’t have this kind of relationship, then sorry dude, your ship has sailed. Abortion should not be an issue of right and wrong, but a personal decision of the woman or couple in question. If there is no partnership established between the contributors of sperm and egg, then it should automatically become the mother’s decision. Safe and affordable abortions should be available to any woman at any time. If laws are passed that abridge this fundamental right, there will be an influx of illegal abortions and severe emotional trauma. Rape victims who never consented to sex will have no recourse available to them. In relationships between couples that hold opposite opinions on abortion, it may be difficult to find common ground. If you are in one of these relationships, and you are sexually active, have the conversation with your significant other now to spare yourself turmoil and heartache.
Thumbs Up for hitchhiking. Literally.
Thumbs Down to the words “yee” and “nee.” Is it that hard to say yes and no?
Thumbs Up to the Undie Run. We haven’t seen this much underwear since the Justice League’s annual pajama party.
Thumbs Down to the term “continental breakfast.” Why are we comparing the smallest meal of the day to a landmass the size of Asia?
Kelly Hering can be reached at khering@theorion.com
PIECE OF MIND >> Do you think student/faculty romantic relationships are acceptable? “I think it’s acceptable depending on the age of the student and faculty. If they’re within five or seven years, it should be okay.”
Amanda Ullman sophomore | child development
“No, I don’t. It’ll be distracting to both the teacher and the student. It would get in the way of making progress towards the students’ learning.” Greg Kessing
freshman | mechanical engineering
“Absolutely. Workplace, it can be a good place to meet women. I don’t think professors should be robbed of that or any faculty for that matter.” Randall Jangula junior | music industry
Zach Garrison freshman | business administration
“I feel if it’s not put out in the public, but if everyone knows about it, then it’s going to cause unnecessary drama in the class. People are going to think grades are being changed.”