The Oldie May issue 413

Page 37

Country Mouse

Weep for Ukraine – and my endangered Cornish pasty giles wood

While other men are becoming addicted to rolling news of Russia’s advances and setbacks in Ukraine, I have been scanning the footage for background signs of agricultural activity. Any tractor action? Cultivators? Crop-sprayers? Unless the fields are sown with spring corn soon, there will be no harvest this year. Although we can see tractors towing abandoned Russian tanks out of the fields, there has been no sign of them ploughing or scattering the good seed on Ukrainian land. Once I would have been unable to point to the position of Ukraine on the map. Now I am a font of knowledge on Black Sea ports, and their strategic importance to Vladimir Putin. As for Odessa, it’s clear to anyone’s naked eye that it is vital for the Ukrainians to retain it for the global export of their wheat. And I’m already wailing over the cultural importance of that port, with its unique architectural heritage and its artistic, allegedly bohemian ‘community’. All of this in spite of my never having been there. But at least it looks as though I can put worries about the potential gentrification of Odessa on the back boiler. Thanks to last night’s World Service, this armchair agronomist knows for the first time that Africa relies just as heavily on Ukraine’s wheat exports as we do. I hadn’t given much thought to the subject of African diets, but now am reminded that the Arab Spring started with food riots triggered by shortages of staple crops. Will shortages from the breadbasket of the world lead to a global relapse into barbarism? It’s not just wheat. Oil seeds are an equally important export for Ukraine. Most of our sunflower seeds come from there, as did – until Brexit – most of our seasonal agricultural workers. At a

charity pop concert in aid of the humanitarian effort in the war zone, images of vast and enviable swathes of Ukrainian sunflowers were projected behind the stage. From the top of the downs above my cottage, I can look down on a view not so very different from what a typical Ukrainian wheat prairie must resemble. The fact I have chosen to live in fields once cultivated by the first Neolithic farmers on these isles gives me a feeling of solidarity with the arable land workers of Ukraine, although also a sense of shame induced by their evident superiority to their English counterparts – particularly in the form of me. They are certainly slimmer, physically stronger and more resilient, patriotic and godly. My doom-mongering spiral leads me to recall that the turning point when man advanced to civilisation was the moment that he learned to control his food supply.

‘Funny, really – I never imagined Tarzan getting old’

Bone-and-antler sickles with flint teeth showing the silica gloss acquired through cutting cereal grasses have been found on a mesolithic site in Palestine dating from about 8,000 BC. Within the next two thousand years, the cultivation of grasses and the domestication of animals became well established in the Middle East. These practices spread from there during the Neolithic phases of culture, reaching Britain in about 3500 BC. The change from a nomadic and hunter-gatherer lifestyle to settled farming has underpinned all civilisations. Neolithic farming methods served humans for millennia – but then came the profit motive, which meant mechanisation, artificial fertilisers and pesticides. No doubt Ukraine is as guilty as every other country. Why should it not be? Those fertile plains are unlikely to be presided over by the organic Ukrainian equivalents of Lady Bamford, the Prince of Wales or Henry Dimbleby. Meanwhile, back on the Wiltshire prairies, the fertiliser, spread with abandon and resembling dishwasher salt, is ammonium nitrate. According to Farmer Clarkson, the commodity price has gone from £264 a tonne a year ago to £1,000 in recent weeks. It is manufactured by mixing nitrogen from the air with hydrogen from natural gas. The war means the gas they need to make this fertiliser, loathed by environmentalists, is in short supply. Could this be a good thing? An opportunity disguised as a crisis? Regenesis by George Monbiot, now hitting the bookshelves, aims to show the world that the end need not necessarily be nigh – as long as we switch from oil-based farming to a sustainable, regenerative method. Rather than farming at the expense of nature, we should take nature with us. Perhaps the one positive of this war will be to force this issue. Look on the bright side. An absence of bread in the short term may not be a bad thing. Many Britons have already gone wheat-free owing to real or imagined gluten intolerance. I must confess the wife and I never looked or felt better than when we shunned wheat and dairy on the advice of a Swedish nutritionist. Yes, bread was once the staff of life, but bread produced by modern farming methods is a very different kettle of fish to the bread available in Biblical times. Nevertheless, it is a hard habit to break and I must head to our local bakery, Marshalls in Pewsey, for one of their famed Cornish pasties before the flour runs out. The Oldie May 2022 37


Articles inside

Getting Dressed: William Dalrymple and Olivia

5min
pages 92-97

Ask Virginia Ironside

5min
pages 98-100

Crossword

3min
pages 89-90

Taking a Walk: Blean Woods

3min
pages 87-88

Overlooked Britain: Park Lane’s Animals in War

6min
pages 82-84

How the British made the

6min
pages 80-81

On the Road: Maurice Gran

4min
pages 85-86

Bird of the Month: Common

2min
page 79

Exhibitions Huon Mallalieu

2min
pages 69-70

Drink Bill Knott

4min
page 73

Golden Oldies Rachel Johnson

4min
page 68

Television Frances Wilson

4min
page 66

Music Richard Osborne

3min
page 67

Film: Downton Abbey

3min
page 64

History David Horspool

4min
pages 61-62

Bad Relations, by Cressida

5min
pages 59-60

Chums: How a Tiny Caste of Oxford Tories Took Over the UK, by Simon Kuper

4min
page 56

Circus of Dreams Adventures in the 1980s Literary World, by John

4min
pages 57-58

English Gardening Eccentrics by Todd Longstaffe-Gowan

4min
pages 54-55

The Palace Papers, by Tina

6min
pages 48-50

Elizabeth of York: The Last White Rose, by Alison Weir

5min
page 53

Small World Jem Clarke

4min
page 47

Readers’ Letters

8min
pages 44-45

Country Mouse Giles Wood

4min
page 37

The Doctor’s Surgery

3min
page 43

Postcards from the Edge

4min
pages 38-40

Town Mouse

3min
page 36

Media Matters Stephen Glover

4min
page 35

Never too old for netball

4min
pages 32-34

The genius behind Casablanca Nick Brown

6min
pages 30-31

The first child star, William

4min
page 29

How to buy a picture

6min
pages 26-28

My two dads Allegra Huston

6min
pages 22-23

Branston, king of pickles

4min
pages 24-25

The Old Un’s Notes

9min
pages 5-8

Are You Being Served? turns 50 Roger Lewis

7min
pages 14-15

The joy of dropping out

3min
page 21

1950s school segregation

4min
page 11

Long live oldie Luddites

4min
pages 16-17

Gyles Brandreth’s Diary

4min
page 9

Grumpy Oldie Man

4min
page 10

The Bomber Harris recipe

7min
pages 18-20
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