The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
scalar
The
Vol. CII | Issue 7 Week of March 27, 2022
Just Magnitude
Maple Hall Catches on Fire By Phi Oi | Managing Creditor
On Monday, March 21, the south-facing NJIT Greek Village and Honors residents awoke to a strange sight and smell. Maple Hall, the newest residential building on campus opening in Fall 2022, caught on fire and filled the air with smoke, making it the first time NJIT has contributed to the global warming crisis. The building is currently under construction, but it has made enough progress that it can house a few students who want to test out the already built rooms. Cy Press, a fourth-year chemical engineering major, is one of those students. On Sunday night, he had gone to a party with his friends. “We wanted to have fun hazing some freshmen and getting them drunk,” he said. “Don’t include that in the article, though.” They had some extra pizza from that night, so Press decided to take a box back to his room in Maple Hall. As soon as he woke up the next day, he unsurprisingly didn’t have enough time to make himself a full breakfast. Nevertheless, he made sure to freshen up properly for the day and get ready for his classes later. Each room in the building comes with a full kitchen, as it is an apartment-style residence hall. He decided to have the
pizza for breakfast, so he took the box from the fridge and placed it in the oven as carefully as he could. Once he turned on the heat, however, he noticed some smoke coming from flames inside the oven. “I thought it was the pizza just cooking really well,” he explained. “You know, it looked like those fiery dishes that you see on TV when the chef adds wine to a pan. It was so cool!” He stepped out of the room to take out the trash and came back to a room filled with smoke. The Department of Public Safety was already informed and on the way because of a call they received from a resident in the Honors Hall. The fire was put out shortly after the call was made, and Press has been banned from living in Maple Hall. “I’m just upset I couldn’t eat the pizza,” he said. “After all that effort, they just stop me from eating it? That looks pretty disrespectful, NJIT. You better watch your back.” NJIT Administration has yet to comment on this matter. Rumors have spread the campus about how the Food Pantry might need to step into this issue because Press was deprived of his pizza. Investigation is ongoing.
NJIT Retains R1 Status By Cream Guy
NJIT has reaffirmed its position as an elite research institution by achieving an R1 status from the Carnegie Classification. The classification framework is managed by Indiana University’s Center for Postsecondary Research, and the R1 status is granted to institutions with the highest levels of research activity. This is not NJIT’s first year as an R1 institution, but changes in the weights of variables caused concern about the university’s status. An analysis from NJIT’s administration found that several ranking factors had been changed from the 2018 classification. Many of these changes weighed negatively on the university and STEM institutions in general. The 2021 classification reduced the weight given to STEM doctoral degrees, gave more weight to non-science and engineering research and doubled the weight of having a good-smelling student body. One Carnegie researcher offered more specifics on some of the weight changes. “Have you ever walked into GITC on a warm day? Hand to God I could taste the odor, and smelling it was bad enough.” While NJIT is one of many STEM institutions to lessen on campus
COVID-19 restrictions, it is one of only three STEM institutions along the East Coast to not pass a deodorant mandate. This researcher requested to stay anonymous due to concerns of backlash from the student body. In exchange for anonymity, the researcher offered several negative emails from alumni. In one email, an alumnus threatened to “make Will Smith at the 2022 Oscars look like freaking Sesame Street.” The brief chance of losing R1 status was handled through respectful communications between NJIT and the classification. However, news broke out prematurely, leading to an assortment of false rumors to take root in the university. One rumor was that NJIT had not hired enough faculty in 2021. This rumor was quickly dispelled. Several NJIT administrators reaffirmed the institute’s continued investment in high quality faculty hiring, and they emphasized the financial investment placed into each newly hired faculty member. In fact, NJIT has hired plenty of faculty. It just so happens that it is difficult to get an accurate headcount of a good portion of NJIT’s faculty. This is, of course, due to the Hillier College of Architecture
and Design. The architecture building, Weston Hall, was built in 1998, and its design was inspired by the famous Catacombs of Paris. Receiving tenure at NJIT requires faculty to outwit the building’s winding hallways and illogical dead-ends and escape with their lives. It is estimated that 40% of newly hired faculty, and 12% of all NJIT faculty, are forever lost to the catacombs of Hillier. These lost souls will never see the light of day, nor tenure. Despite this, these faculty members continue their research and lectures via Webex, connected to the world through an unholy daisy chain of Ethernet cables and extenders. Another line of gossip held erroneous beliefs about NJIT’s financial health. It was believed that the construction of Maple Hall negatively impacted the university’s financials and could possibly lead to a drop in status. Both claims are untrue. Additionally, Maple Hall’s “We’re Sorry About the Firepit” second firepit burned down, igniting a small portion of the dorm hall. The second firepit was designed to be low-cost, being built entirely from balsa wood and the Student Senate’s unwavering love for its constit-
uents. Unfortunately, neither material is flame retardant, and the entire pit caught aflame mere moments after being lit. It was falsely believed the cost of minor fire damage — and the cost of sending the toasted senators to the hospital — would impact NJIT’s continued achievements in scientific research, but an internal report quickly debunked this rumor. Maple Hall’s room and board cost of twelve bajillion dollars meant that replacing the fire damaged sections of the hall would be a relatively minor expense. NJIT’s appeal to Carnegie included records of the institution’s fantastic investments in faculty hiring, questions on R1 classification weight changes and a list of short piers that are popular among long walkers. The classification officials agreed with NJIT’s concerns, changed out of their wet clothes and awarded the university its proper status. NJIT published an official response debunking the rumors about the university’s finances and faculty hirings. “We stack more bands than a Rite-Aid, and we’ve got more bitches than a kennel,” said a member of NJIT’s Office of Public Affairs and Smack Talk. “I’m glad that we’ve retained our prestigious R1 status for another year.”
NEWS
FEATURE
OPINION
GENDER RATIO AT NJIT
CLUB SPOTLIGHT: THE VECTOR
ARE YOU A FURRY?
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The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
About THE
MEET THE TEAM
SCALAR
ADVISORS
Operational Advisor Matthew Blanar
As the official student newspaper of the New Jersey Institute of Technology, our mission is to inform and entertain our readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the NJIT community and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members. Deadline for Articles or Letters to the Editor is Thursdays prior to publication at 10 P.M. For more information on submissions, e-mail: managing-editor@njitvector.com. Advertisement Reservations are due two weeks prior to publication and should be sent to: business-manager@njitvector.com
FIND US ONLINE Online Issues
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Monday, Apr. 4th
The Vector: NJIT’s Student Newspaper
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@TheNJITVector @njit_vector Join our Friday Meetings from 11:00 AM-12:00 PM at https://webex.njit.com/kcj26 if you're interested in contributing!
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Memory of Dr. Herman A. Estrin and Roger Hernande
Faculty Advisor Miriam Ascarelli
EXECUTIVE BOARD eboard@njitvector.com Editor-in-Chief Sandra Raju editor-in-chief@njitvector.com
Business Manager Karim Gueye business-manager@njitvector.com
Managing Editor Yukthi Sangoi managing-editor@njitvector.com
Photography Editor Ethan O'Malley photography-editor@njitvector.com
Executive Editor Nicolas Arango executive-editor@njitvector.com
Web and Multimedia Editor Nick Merlino multimedia-editor@njitvector.com
SCALAR STAFF Copy Editors Sreya Das Karim Gueye Mustafa Shaikh Evan Markowitz Mrunmayi Joshi Alicia Tedesco Alfred Simpson Staff Writers Saanika Joshi Rushi Desai Matthew Bleich Ali Jamil Contributing Writers Fatima Osman Annmary Ibrahlm Aaron Dimaya
Senior Staff Sreya Das Sean Slusarz Samira Santana Areej Qamar Yash Kewlani Alfred Simpson Mrunmayi Joshi Evan Markowtiz Photoshoppers Sean Slusarz Hannah Lenkowski Ali Jamil Akash Patel Sebastian Lopez Sreya Das Xavier Reyes
Layout Assistants Areej Qamar Yash Kewlani Matt Exil Sebastian Lopez Graphic Designers Sreya Das Evan Markowitz Allison Wong
Upcoming Events FRIDAY, Apr. 1st All Day
Scalar Reading Day
@njitvector.com
MONDAY, Apr. 4th 11:30 am - 1:00 pm 7:00 pm - 11:00 pm 9:00 pm - 9:01 pm 10:00 pm - 4:00 am
Commuter Student Naptime Goth ~ Beyblade Party Airing of Emotional Greivences Natasha Bedingfield Concert
WEC Basement London TBD Laurel Hall 205
TUESDAY, Apr. 5th 12:00 am - 1:00 am 5:30 pm - 7:30 pm
How-To: KinkShaming Wildnerness Survival Training
Virtual Event GDS Kitchen
w
POLICE
BLOOPERS
NJIT Scalar Summary 3/27/2022 Times Shown are Times Reported
3/23/22 11:50AM An officer cited a male student for not wearing deodorant.
3/26/22 12:45AM An officer had a particularly scary dream while napping. A following up investigation into the nightmare is pending.
3/24/22 4:35PM A raccoon was arrested 10:49AM A student was overheard for trespassing on campus. admitting that she had a crush on that really cute biomechanical 10:21PM A suspect was released professor. He's so dreamy and I after the officer realized it was in- can just get lost in his eyes. Oceans fact a remarkably well-crafted wax of blue speckled with green stars. figure of Queen Elizabeth II. I wonder what he's doing right now...
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News
The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Men Supremacy at NJIT By Xavier Abraham At the beginning of Women’s History Month in 2022, the NJIT Office of Sex and Gender published a statement regarding the ratio of men to women currently attending NJIT, relaying that the ratio is currently about 9:1, with roughly 87% of the student population comprising of men and under 10% comprising of women, with the rest going to people whose genders do not fit within that gender binary. This revelation shocked the male student body but was apparently a wellknown fact to NJIT’s female community members for quite some time. One female student, wishing to remain anonymous, had this to say about the matter: “I’m a CS major and I can count on one hand the number of other women in my classes. I’m surprised there’s even this many girls at this school. Where are they? I'd love to meet them.” The general consensus within the male population is that they were aware that the ratio had been overwhelmingly male for quite some time, but the idea
that it had gotten this out of hand was unknown. On male student, Chad Boysworth, gave his thoughts on the matter and even had suggestions for what the school should do about it. “Me and my friends never knew that there were so few women at this school. I guess it makes sense; we don’t talk to girls that much. I feel like most of us at this school don’t. Anyways, I think the school needs to take baby steps towards fixing this situation. Firstly, showers need to be mandatory amongst male students at least. I don’t know if it should be the job of RAs to check that or what, but I already know that’s a problem. Also, some more social classes would be good. Lectures where a professor just talks at you for an hour don’t exactly promote social growth.” The NJIT Department of Female Admissions has received a large boost in funding for the fall semester and will be looking into this problem over the course of the next year. There are also rumors that the school will be taking more drastic measures to even things out, with talks of opening an entirely new
female dorm supposedly in the works. The administration team is also considering forming a new task force to address the severity of the issue, likely revolving around reducing the number of men accepted into NJIT over the
upcoming years. This is the fastest way to even out the ratio, which comes with the added bonus of saving water once students do start showering.
University Announces New Name: New Jersey Institute of Non-Fungible Tokens By 1FDgnHxa375j1FYDR6vpu9QxxqJrJHqShb | Señor Staff Writer cryptocurrencies.
NJINFT New Jersey Institute of Non-Fungible Tokens
In a press conference that took place in the abandoned pool of the Central King Building, President-elect Teik C. Lim announced a pre-presidency public-private partnership — an unprecedented P5 — with Rug Pull Holdings, a relatively unknown cryptocurrency firm. Among the tenets of the agreement comes a new name for the university: the New Jersey Institute of Non-Fungible Tokens, or NJINFT for short. According to a source involved in the transaction who was not at liberty to publicly discuss the deal, the partnership hopes to investigate ways of infusing non-fungible tokens into the public university space. Non-fungible tokens are uniquely identifiable pieces of data stored in a blockchain. They are often used to represent digital media such as photos or videos. While it is not immediately clear how these tokens and courses will harmonize, the change in name
symbolizes NJINFT’s commitment to the concept. This type of name change is nothing new for the university. In May 2019, the College of Architecture and Design was renamed the J. Robert and Barbara A. Hillier College of Architecture and Design, or for people who like to be able to say the name of the college in a single breath: HCAD. Other notable examples of name changes in the university include the June 2016 renaming of the Ying Wu College of Computing and the addition of Guttenberg’s name to the Information Technologies Center. Over the next twelve months, signage, marketing materials, social media handles and even the lyrics to the Alma Mater will be changed to reflect the new name. Students and faculty will be eligible for new identification cards that double as hardware wallets for various
Additionally, new crypto-ATMs will be installed in the Campus Center, Public Safety office, the Wellness and Events Center, the top levels of both parking decks, the fourth floor of Maple Hall, the hallway that connects Cullimore Hall to Eberhardt Hall, the Materials and Structures Laboratory within Weston Hall, the middle of the Green at University Park, the backstage of the Jim Wise Theater and the office of the campus newspaper, “The Scalar.” The tea enthusiast club, NJITea, has not confirmed whether they will change their name following the announcement. Beyond the marketing changes, the Martin Tuchman School of Management will be forming a new department focused solely on cryptocurrencies, non-fungible tokens and the blockchain. The first course offering, NFT126, will cover both the basics of minting non-fungible tokens and the marketing behind convincing people to buy them. According to Professor Lon Durr, the new department chair, the course is a first of its kind. It will be offered during semesters when it won't fit in your schedule. The university is likely hoping that the “NFT boom” will continue for some time, and with major sports franchises, including Newark’s own New Jersey Devils, beginning to sell NFTs to adoring fans, it’s only a matter of time before
the NJINFT Highlanders also get on the bandwagon. Whether NFTs will replace the beloved $5,000 placards on the chairs of the Wellness and Events Center is yet to be seen. Gourmet Dining Services will also be impacted by the transition, moving its proprietary “flex points” system to the Ethereum cryptocurrency. Guest passes, interestingly, will instead move to paper punch cards to compensate for the sudden technological change. Despite the name change, the mining of cryptocurrencies is still considered to be prohibited under Information Services and Technology’s Acceptable Use Policy. One student, unnamed due to potential violations of the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, has allegedly been suspended for the next six years due to unknowingly violating the policy. This story is developing, and we will provide an update during our next issue on April 1, 2023. Time will tell how NJINFT will fare in its transition towards crypto technologies and the impact it will have on the student body. That said, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Tuition, ironically, is still best paid by check, in-person, to the Bursar — perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
THE SCALAR
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The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Forte PIZZERIA
Campus Center Lobby 11AM - 8PM Mon. - Fri. 11AM - 5PM Saturday
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THE SCALAR
Features
The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Club Spotlight The Vector By Scalar!Sreya Das | A Satirical Scalar Scribe and Scholarly Software Student
Word on the street says that there’s a rival newspaper with a superfluous dimension called The Vector. Who even needs direction when just magnitude alone is perfectly adequate? Less is more!
science. Rumor has it that The Vector has one (1) architecture major currently on its staff, but that’s tokenism; they’re simply trying to distract from the disparity of majors in their organization.
Founded in 1924, this student organization claims to be “the Voice of NJIT with Magnitude and Direction.” According to the newspaper’s website, its mission is to “inform and entertain [its] readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the NJIT community, [sic] and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members” by publishing weekly newspapers during the fall and spring semesters.
Putting the sole student studying architecture on its executive board doesn’t hide the fact that The Vector is getting away with underrepresenting minority majors. There is one other Hillier College of Architecture and Design student in The Vector, a graphic designer who occasionally submits comics. This is clearly The Vector engaging in an egregious act of pigeonholing.
However, how can The Vector claim to be the voice of NJIT when its staff members have such little diversity in majors? (Additionally, The Vector claims to follow the Associated Press style guide, but Oxford Commas are scattered all over its website and social media, as shown in the previous quote.) Let’s look at the composition of The Vector’s senior staff members’ majors: three information technology, two computer science, two biology and one biomedical engineering. They don’t have a single person studying journalism or a related field! Sure, as a STEM school, NJIT doesn’t even have a Journalism Department, but the least The Vector could do is convince someone from the College of Science and Liberal Arts majoring in something like Communications and Media or Science, Technology and Society, or even History or Law, Technology and Culture to write for them. What clubs are the students actually majoring in humanities joining, Association for Computing Machinery or Robotics Club? Just because NJIT is a STEM school doesn’t mean that all of its newspaper’s staff has to be studying engineering or
Let’s get to the hidden story: what are all these computing majors doing in The Vector? Apparently writing code wasn’t enough for them, so they decided to write newspaper articles too. Clearly the true culprits stealing our jobs aren’t immigrants, as certain politicians like to claim, but computer science majors. (A source close to The Vector claims that “there’s no such thing as stealing jobs” and “there’s no limit to how many people can join The Vector,” but since this does not align with the view that The Scalar is trying to portray in this article, we will not include the rest of the quote.) If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll ask for milk; the next thing you know, the computer science majors will start automating the process of writing articles using artificial intelligence technologies like GPT-3. No student organization is safe… For example, soon after, the computer science majors will probably infiltrate NJIT Society of Musical Arts; first they’ll play instruments, then they’ll start writing sheet music (because writing code and newspapers isn’t enough) and then they’ll find a way to automate music making using Ableton and artificial intelligence. Aside from the skewed distribution of majors among The Vector staff members,
Image by tHe VeCtOR there are some other notable features of this organization. For example, clearly The Vector discriminates against vegans because they have plain cheese pizza and pizza with other assorted toppings at their weekly Friday common hour meetings, but they have no vegan entrée options (occasionally stocked snacks do not count)! It’s also interesting to note that The Vector labels its newspaper front pages based on the Sunday of the week they were published on, despite being circulated on campus on the Friday after publication. (If The Scalar does the same, don’t @ us; we just follow the format of The Vector.) The Scalar only gets printed once a year, but we get published on time; this year, print copies of The Scalar were in circulation on campus on exactly April 1, 2022. Can The Vector time its issues so perfectly? I think not!
guess The Vector is kind of okay after all. Somehow, with its staff of a hodgepodge of STEM people and a singular architecture major, The Vector managed to snag three awards recently: Third Place for Best COVID Coverage in the College Media Association’s David L. Adams Apple Awards, Third Place for Best Newspaper (4-year, 5,000-10,000 undergraduates) in the same competition and the Corbin Gwaltney Award for Best All-Around Student Newspaper (Large) in the Society of Professional Journalists Region 1 Mark of Excellence Awards. I don’t know how The Vector is considered “large” when its staff has a paltry 30 members, including contributing writers, but go off, Vector. Until next year! Your mirror school newspaper from another dimension,
Despite being our rival newspaper, I
COLLECTION voice from around campus
What cool thing did you do last week? "drop out"
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THE SCALAR
Snapshots
Week of March 27, 2022
The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Kards for Kids This is Ralph's first photography shoot for the Vector. Evidently, we need to revamp our training process. However, I am assured that the event was quite lively outside the range of Ralph's photos.
Photos by Ralph Hpalr
Vector Movie Night Vector had record attendance at their movie night last Monday. One attendee said of the event, " ". Photos by Jimmy Carter
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THE SCALAR
Opinion
The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Hot dogs: Does thinking that make you a furry? By Margaret Thatcher | Contributing Writer & Former Prime Minister of the UK Yes. …well, no, but it’s complicated. Whatever “that” may be, your attraction to a certain anthropomorphic animal is relatively understandable. And I’m not saying that because I, myself, am a furry. I just believe that being a furry entails so much more than just an opinion, and they’re these thoughts and feelings that I would like to explore with you all today. In the widely respected and sourced Urban Dictionary, furry is defined as: "Furry: You 'You are a furry'" Truly groundbreaking stuff, but kind of useless if we’re going to answer this question. I propose that we don’t accept a strict definition of what a furry is but realize that every single person can be placed upon a so-called “Furry Scale” from an unknown source in 1996
As you can see, this highly produced image allows people to rank themselves based upon which human-to-animal ratio they are attracted/have an affinity to. If you imagine zero on this scale as a base human, basically everyone falls somewhere on this scale. Even people on campus. Even you. Accept it. This begs the question however, what line in this graph separates the “normal people” from the thousand-dollar fursuits stalking your local convention hall? The answer is, surprisingly, none. Let’s be honest here, we’re talking about a fandom of people coming together to celebrate what they enjoy. No one is born a furry: They are introduced to the concept of anthropomorphic animals and develop an interest, like many others do. In my eyes at least, you become a furry when you identify as a furry. No matter if you hide it from others or proudly show off your artwork and… full bodysuits, you’re a furry when you want to be. But you don’t care about that, so…
We asked a randomized group of people the Scalar staff - where they land on the furry scale, here are their answers:
Me: 3 - “Ok I might be a furry.”
Anonymous: 2 - “I don’t know, I’ve always been a fan of catgirls and stuff like that. Blame Japan.”
Helpfulobesity: 2 - “This seems like a very suspicious subject; do you have anything to say?”
Phi: 4 - “The Sonic franchise has poisoned me. I need help.”
Pat: 0 - “Don’t f**k with me, I hate all animals.”
Random Stranger: 6 - “...what?” ○ This stranger is currently under custody under suspicion of bestiality.
Dog: ∞ - “Bark bark woof woof bark”
Lightning Round Movie Review By Rushi Desai | Senior Staff Writer The Kashmir Files
The Boss Baby
The Last Temptation of Christ
One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.
Hans Zimmer didn’t need to go this hard on the soundtrack.
I hate movies where the main character dies at the end.
5/10
1/10
XXX
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The porn parody of this must've been a pain in the ass to title without getting into legal trouble.
I don’t hate this movie, but I do hate all the people I know who like this movie.
1/10
Mainstream A Facebook in the Crowd 5/10 (Explanation of the review: You see, this movie shares many plot similarities to the 1957 movie “A Face in the Crowd,” but it’s about the internet so I’m making a pun on Facebook.)
[Insert any movie from the ‘30s] I might’ve been entertained by it if I were living during the Great Depression, like the target audience 1/10
3/10
6/10
The Lone Ranger Alita Battle Angel Imagine if this had the CGI quality of Robert Rodriguez's other movies. 7/10
Sherlock Holmes Discombobulate. 6/10
Funny how the Lone Ranger ended up being the cannibal in real life.
The Oogie Loves Big Balloon Adventure I don't know why I watched this movie, let alone watched it in theaters, but I have thought about it every day of my life since. 1/10
Before Sunrise This movie feels like a podcast where the hosts are falling in love. 8/10
The Matrix Resurrections
3/10
This movie is like “The Force Awakens” for “The Matrix,” but if it was about how therapy is bad.
Scream
7/10
This movie couldn't be made today because nobody would ever pick up the phone from an unknown caller. 9/10
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Week of March 27, 2022
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The Scalar is Vector's satirical April fool's edition.
Horoscopes
Do You Even Sudoku?
By By An Anonymous Aquarius Attempting Amusing Astrology
ARIES
TAURUS
GEMINI
Probably of getting pranked: 45%. April Fool’s Day is in Aries season, but that doesn’t mean you’re immune!
Probably of getting pranked: 84%. Watch your back…
Probably of getting pranked: -999%. You are the prankster!
CANCER
LEO
VIRGO
Probably of getting pranked: 17%. Your observant people skills make it difficult to pull wool over your eyes!
Probably of getting pranked: 71%. Your Leo observation skills make it easier to pull wool over your eyes!
Probably of getting pranked: 69%. Nice.
LIBRA
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
Probably of getting pranked: 47%. A little tomfoolery never hurt anyone!
Probably of getting pranked: 9999%. Sometimes you get what you dish out!
Probably of getting pranked: 90%. Jokes are a love language, and your friends love you!
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
Probably of getting pranked: 35%. Someone may try to prank you, but you’ll be too busy working to notice.
Probably of getting pranked: 88%. That’s what happens when your head is in the clouds!
Probably of getting pranked: 22%. Most people would feel bad about playing a trick on you.
EASY
MEDIUM
Comic
HARD
EVIL
Crossword
By Sr. Eya
Crossword credited to onlinecrosswords.net
Tweet @TheNJITVector a photo of your completed crossword puzzle (only if you can solve it, though)! Across 62. Clear the board 63. Henry VIII's second wife 58. Piece of fencing? 1. Dillydallies __. Individual 10. Confession confessions 51. Hardwood variety 54. Between a rock and a hard place __. Tailless feline 48. Towel word Down 52. Last word in Bibles 42. Held to the mat 43. Cherry red __. Asian range __. Drained of color 46. Split to unite 47. Not as well-done 48. Charon's underworld 1. Foot-shaped form 2. NASCAR word 34. Meddlesome 36. Some score notes __. Flag Alex Rieger's vehicle 38. Galley gear
__. Inclination 50. Starship hit __. Pervasive glow __. City on the Ruhr 16. Medicinal plant 17. Difficult spot 20. Freight weight 21. Cultivates, perhaps 22. Cliburn's instrument 24. Not as spicy __. Say "Cheese," maybe 26. Show up 29. Pirate treasure 30. "Cannery Row" char-
acter __. Spiral-shelled gastropod __. Dombey's partner 35. Bit of a brouhaha 59. Paycheck __. It might wind up on a lake? __. Geeky guy 40. Hack's passengers __. Comes to the rescue 42. Worked diligently 43. Respectful gesture 45. Rabbit ears
51. Sign for a seeress __. The Forsytes had one 19. Unconcern 23. Malicious 3. Show pleasure 28. Math course, for short __. Story of Achilles 12. Nary a soul 13. Tijuana title 18. Mongol chieftain 29. Showed obsequiousness 31. Nuclear reactor parts 32. Word with monkey or birthday 27. Bean curd food __. Leafy greens
__. IOU component 56. Kind of cry 57. Historic time 10. Lustrous and smooth 24. Adherences 25. Out of one's mind 33. Race track figures __. Cul-de-___ 5. Over and above 6. English county on the Thames __. Egyptian goddess 8. Shrimp snare 9. Large African antelope __. Rodin sculpture