Metro Spirit 07.28.2011 by Metro Spirit

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table of contents whine line

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Want to advertise in the Metro Spirit? Call 706-496-2535 or 706-373-3636 Writer Eric Johnson eric@themetrospirit.com

Production Director Amy Christian amy@themetrospirit.com

Account Executive Account Executive Jed Capuy Brenda Carter brenda@themetrospirit.com jed@themetrospirit.com

Lead Designer Gabriel Vega gabe@themetrospirit.com Publisher’s Assistant Jenn Poole jennifer@themetrospirit.com

Publisher-Sales Manager Joe White joe@themetrospirit.com INTERNS Jordan White design

Nate Lambert editorial

Geetu Vailoor editorial

cover design

by Trilogy Gunby at

KRUHU kruhu.com Metro Spirit is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks a year. Editorial coverage includes local issues and news, arts, entertainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Visit us at metrospirit.com.© 15 House, LLC. Owner/Publisher: Joe White. Legal: Phillip Scott Hibbard. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. One copy per person, please.

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whineLINE There is a deer crossing sign near my house, but deer keeping getting hit by cars. They should move that sign. It’s too dangerous for deer to cross there. Or, they could employ a crossing guard.

He is a distraction to what is right and good. But this is America and even “stupid” people can vote if they meet the requirements, even if it is against themselves. Go figure!

I just love those people who staunchly support their political party. If they would take the blinders off and think with an open mind they would see that neither of the two major parties give a damn about the average American. BOTH parties are mostly interested in taking care of their large donors and supporters. End of story.

Don’t look for a job with benefits.... look for a friend with benefits

Musicians, those bars downtown are going to continue paying pennies as long as you continue to accept pennies. If you want to up the ante gotta go elsewhere in town or out of town. Your time plus fuel and lugging tons of gear around has a price tag higher than what many venues realize. It’s time you realize your own worth and raise the stakes. It is really sad that we now require the russians to put a person in space. We should certainly have an intermediate solution to space travel while waiting on the private sector to take over. Way to go Metro Spirit. Somebody had to call Coco out for using his music column as a free source of advertising for his clubs. Now maybe this evens the playing field for other music venues some. It is absolutely astonishing that we have a group of people who are sheeples. They listen to Rush Limbaugh a millionare bigot, former drug addict,adulterer and bigot everyday.

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Will your comments policy allow me to complain that the AUG, our home town, suffers from the “half-ass” attitude of many of its residents? About the guy from the last whine line who can’t find enough fat women in Augusta. Well I’d suggest he come down to any of the chain restaurants or buffets here in south Augusta. He will be surrounded by so many fat chicks he won’t be able to squeeze through. We got your fat chicks down here in south Augusta. What is the number to call when you do wrong in columbia co.We worry when we go to eat and have a few drinks and get a dui,but on 7-20 a person so drunk crashes through the fence line in grovetown and ends up just feet from i-20 walks away with no charges.A phone call just does away with the problem.I thought everyone was equal guess not. When politicians say God told them to do this or that, especially to enter a Presidential race, I know these people have a hearing distortion or are desparately in need of mental hearing aids. Don’t put out your religion all the time! By the end of next month, these three shows will be coming to a television

whineline@themetrospirit.com set near you: Hillbilly Handfishing, True Grime:Crime Scene Cleanup, and Whisker Wars. And people keep telling me television is a vapid, insipid, wasteland.....c’mon? Being a “hater” is so BORING. OK folks. Break the lynch mob up and go home. Consider the business reasons for why Coco was asked to stop promoting his own venues so heavily in his article. There are businesses who PAY MONEY to advertise for exposure in the Metro. If Coco gets to keep doing it for free then PAYING advertisers take their money elsewhere. Get it? And, many people will keep reading the Metro Spirit even if some people continue to pout over Coco deciding to go elsewhere. It’s good to see Chairman and CEO of News Corporation, Rupert Murdoch, being asked questions about his “alleged involvement” in that phone-hacking scandal. Also at this hearing is the COO of News Corporation, James Murdock, his son. This hearing allows me to drop upon the readers of The Metro Spirit my second favorite word in the English language - nepotism (look it up). Dude, I heard that redhead you saw was your mom...can I get her number? I love how Dayton Sherrouse, Executive Director of the Augusta Canal Authority, Sheriff Ronnie Strength, Augusta Administrator Fred Russell, Augusta Utilities Director Tom Wiedmeier and Recreation Director Tom Beck deal with an issue. Punish everyone because they can’t or are unwilling to control an area. A lot of people, including families, enjoy going to the waterfall or parking at the Pumping

Station and going to the river and canal. Closing Goodrich St was just childish and rude. They just took away one more cool thing away from Augusta. The Coco Rubio/Metro Spirit debacle demonstrates exactly why business should never be conducted via email. If the Spirit had sat down with Coco and discussed the issues face-to-face, an amicable resolution may have been reached. And this Facebook revolt would no doubt have been avoided. After Europe, now preparing to be on store shelfs in the US, is a doll. Controversy about this doll ? It teaches Girls how to breastfeed. To much information to soon. Kids not to long ago stopped breastfeeding themself, so they really dont need a doll to teach them. Besides for as long as minkind excisted women have breastfed babies. If they could do it so can we. Oh good. Here it is again. About once a month or so one of the powers that be in the Augusta music scene gets offended by something someone else says and it consumes local Facebook pages. THIS IS a prime example of the splintered music scene that is Augusta. There are hundreds of bands trying to play a handful of venues and we end up with the same bands every month. I will cease to attend shows downtown unless it is by a band who isn’t overexposed. I will stick to West Augusta venues or leave town to catch a good band. Don’t worry, just because Lord Coco left the Metro Spirit this is not the end of the world. Lot’s of other people

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whineLINE continued...

have been on TV numerous times.. Baez flew to New York to negotiate getting paid for his appearance. Also, what about the people on the jury. Some of them were negotiating a price for an interview before the ink on the Not Guilty verdict got dry. The rain has really been welcomed here in the Augusta area these past few weeks! It has been quite refreshing and my lawn is saying “thank-you”.

“Cowboys & Aliens” & “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” No superheroes; no boy wizards (sorry, Harry; you know we love you). Just two weekends in a row of great reasons to visit the movie theater… and get out of the heat.

WE RECOMMEND besides Coco’s cronies read this weekly publication. A suggestion to high school students or anyone applying to college who is white. On your application put you are black or arab or anything but white. You will get in. Sad but true. But no one verifies your application to make sure you aren’t white. What’s the worst that could happen? Ooops....i checked the wrong box. They can’t kick you out once accepted. Why do people think Tyler Perry is funny. I watched Madea or whatever it’s called and that was the dumbest thing I have watched. Why not replace the diesel locomotive horn with the traditional whistle of the steam engine? Now, don’t anybody tell me that the “they” at CSX can’t do it! OK booking person for downtown music venue that will go un-named. Are you so lazy that you disregard the numerous talented acts that want to play there? Instead, you keep booking the same crap we always hear. Give us a break. People need to get on with their lives and leave Casey Anthony alone. She was not found guilty. The prosecution sucks. Don’t blame her, the jury or the judge. Blame the prosecution. Thank you soccer...for ending. I hate it V. 22 | NO. 49

when there is a “world cup” Every one gets on the bandwagon and its all any news or sports show wants to talk about. I hate soccer 365 days a year. Isn’t it ironic that the Ripken camp said that although they want a new stadium it wouldn’t have any impact on the teams future in Augusta....then when it looks like Deke has lost all hope at a new stadium they come out and say they can’t see a long future at the current location. Me thinks this sounds of corruption and politics. Can we find out about the Scott Dean case?? I just love the mob mentality that the majority of people fall prey to. Yeah, the whole Caylee Anthony thing that happened was tragic. But, there are kids disappearing every day in this country. Where the hell is your concern for them? If the media shoves it down your throat then you care. Otherwise, you are clueless. “Does Augusta have a crime problem?” Most Richmond County deputies live in Columbia county or South Carolina. Does this answer your question? Someone wrote a whine about Ashton making the TV circuit after Casey Anthony was found not guilty. Did this person notice that ALL of the Defense Team did the same thing. Mason & Sims

Why does the Republican party refuse to raise the debt ceiling? It has been raised a total of 86 times since 1950. 57 of those times were when a Repbulican was president! The hate they have for our Democratic President is unbelieveable. And what about those socalled Bush tax cuts that would “enable” the ultra-wealthy to create jobs? There hasn’t been any. If they wanted to create jobs they would be doing it now! I was at the EofA show. Sound was horrible. I won’t be back anytime soon. Yep. It’s official. People are sick of TW. Moving on now. Hey redneck. Yeah, you. Listen up. You are the reason people around the country think of Southern people as intolerant, hateful people with little education and a chip on their shoulder. Stop calling people from everywhere outside of the South “Yankees”. Stop calling black people the “N” word. The Civil War has long been over. I heard a down-in-the-mouth waitress complain that she was supposedly not paid enough to even get to eat at the restaurant she works at on supposed employee discount. Child, if you don’t care for the job you got, I assure you I have a dozen people most willing and able to take on the job properly. Aaaauugghh, I can’t believe our politicians are dragging the budget out like this! They’ve had months in “playing” around with the economy. And to pull a childish boner like walking out of any meeting like Boehner did? Let’s put this to a fast vote by the people, majority decision stands! Surely we can do better than those hundreds of pinheads.

I want to help out my fellow bro’ from last week in search of a BBW(big beautiful women). Have you tried Wal-Mart? Now perhaps, somebody out there can return the favor for me. Where can I find a single woman that will NOT pontificate or proselytize the phrases “The Bible”, “God”, or “Jesus Christ” within the first 15 minutes of a conversation? And, by the way, I have $500 just waiting for anyone that sets me up with the woman that I would marry... cash, check, or money order… come get it! I am not sad to see Coco stop writing for Metro Spirit. Other than the same handful of local bands he has done little for most of the local bands who are trying to have a shot at the Augusta scene. This favoritism has forced many talented bands out of downtown into the surrounding communities. To attracted to Big Beautiful Women. I can not believe you have not been to Walmart. Every large women in Augusta and around is in this store, you have your pick of race, color you name it. Stop and Shop I submitted a very good whine last week and you went with these idiotic rants? 75% of the ranters couldn’t spell or even make a coherent sentence. What the heck are “illedals” or “illgals?” There’s a new invention, it’s called spell check. I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn You are putting out a sophomoric, horribly presented piece of crap and you diss Tony Power’s radio station? Get over yourself. Dear woman at the Kangaroo station on Wheeler, the one in the blue truck. You asked for help getting some gas. I stupidly trusted you and allowed you to charge up $20 worth in gas on my debit card. I should have stayed to watch you. Lo and behold I check my bank account today.... you charge $50 in gas to my account. Thank you for being such a scumbag, I will NEVER help out a fellow human being ever again.

Willie Mays, answer that phone! METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 5

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INSI ER INSIDER@THEMETROSPIRIT.COM

Insider is an anonymous, opinion-based examination of the hidden details of Augusta politics and personalities.

It’s Always About the Land

Yeah… That’s the Ticket

There’s an honest graft, and I’m an example of how it works. I might sum up the whole thing by saying, “I’ve seen my opportunities and I took them.” Just let me explain by examples. My party is in power in the city, and it’s going to undertake a lot of public improvements. Well, say I’m tipped off that they’re going to build a new park at a certain place. I see my opportunity and I take it. I go to that place and I buy up all the land I can in the neighborhood. Then the board of this or that makes its plan public, and there is a rush to get my land, which nobody

Gov. Nathan Deal has appointed the spouse of the top federal prosecutor for North Georgia to a seat on a state commission. Deal’s office announced on the first of July that the governor has reappointed J. Comer Yates, the husband of U.S. Attorney Sally Q. Yates, to a seat on the Georgia Commission on Hearing Impaired and Deaf Persons. Because of that gubernatorial appointment of her spouse, Sally Yates will be required by Justice Department rules to recuse herself from any future investigations that her office may undertake involving Deal’s activities. Brian Robinson, a spokesman for Deal,

cared for before. Isn’t it perfectly honest to charge a good price and make a profit on my investment and foresight? Of course, it is. Well, that’s honest graft. — George Washington Plunkit George Washington Plunkitt (1842–1924) was a long-time state senator from New York who was especially powerful in New York City. He was part of what is known as New York’s Tammany Hall machine. The Metro Spirit took a few liberties with the language so that it reads as if it was spoken by someone in modern-day Augusta.

What’s Up, Corey?

Media Musical Chairs Don Bailey abruptly walking away from the daily paper is big news in Augusta media circles. As the head of the largest media organization in town, speculation is warranted. If Austin Rhodes signed off on his program one day and never returned there would have to be some sort of explanation. Insiders find it odd he had recently been pushed into the public, first with his Dancing with the Stars promotion, then a sudden blogging attempt on augustachronicle.com, then so long. Bailey was with the daily for over 20 years and walked away as president. A couple other departures of note are: Julian Miller, 26 years at The Augusta Chronicle. Miller took a demotion from president of The Chronicle in 2005 to publisher of the Morris owned Savannah Morning News. He left there in 2008 and is currently the public information administrator of the Savannah-Chatham police department. Dennis Sodomka, 20 years. Resigned

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said it was silly to suggest some ulterior motive in this case. “Comer Yates was part of a group reappointment. The entire board was reappointed at once, at the recommendation of the executive director,” Robinson said. The spokesman said the governor’s office was unaware of internal U.S. Department of Justice policies on conflicts of interest. “We did 33 appointments just last week. These are non-paying positions. Our investigations don’t go into what their spouses do. It would have looked more odd to take him off,” Robinson was quoted in the AJC as saying.

July 31, 2008, as executive editor. Currently runs thebottlereport.com, a wine blog, along with Dan Doughtie. Insiders speculate this is an obvious signal of big changes internally as the paper continues, along with all other newspapers in the country, to right themselves financially and learn an entirely new way of doing business. It’s a tough time to be a newspaperman. Maybe that is the issue. They are a near extinct breed. It’s now all about content and delivery, monetization and digital footprints. Speaking of footprints, Scott Hudson left them on his way out of the door of his latest media gig. On air for a couple of months on a small AM, Insiders report he had enough when he was relegated to guest host sidekick. The guest host was confused by local issues and was too much of an embarrassment on an otherwise proud media professional.

The speculation has reached a fevered pitch behind closed doors regarding Corey Johnson’s about face on his Patch vote and request to rescind. The rumor mill is that Johnson is the one commissioner with no

visible means of support. Not to imply any shenanigans, but appearances are not good. He was one of two commissioners approached with a bribe for the TEE Center not long ago.

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metro Eric Johnson

Understanding the Kroc Center Finally, Augusta is starting to get it

The $35 million Kroc Center is everything they said it would be back when nobody was listening. It doesn’t just have a pool, it’s got a lazy river and a 190-foot-long water slide that swirls around outside the building. It doesn’t just have a 400-seat performing arts center, it’s got a 25-person orchestra pit for live bands.

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It doesn’t just have dance space, it’s got a sprung wood dance floor that protects dancer’s knees and ankles and can be used for everything from BodyCombat to Zumba. And it’s got pickle ball. If you don’t know what pickle ball is, you don’t know what you’re missing. If the Kroc Center is everything they said it would be, it’s also none of what

they said it wouldn’t be. It’s not a homeless shelter. It’s not a soup kitchen. It’s not a hangout for people with nowhere else to be. According to Public Relations Coordinator Anthony Esposito, who is standing in the aisle of the performing arts center, it’s got something for everyone while being accessible to anyone.

“Someone at the dedication called it a country club that everyone gets to go to,” he says. Esposito has given so many tours over the last week or so that he’s becoming hoarse, and that’s really saying something, seeing as how he used to talk on the radio for a living. But in spite of the weak voice, he sounds as enthusiastic as if he’s giving

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his first tour. “People are finally starting to get it,” he says. “Once they come in and see what we’ve got here and pick up the program guide and see what we’re going to have… they get it.” As Esposito talks, Communications Director Derek Duggan lowers the multiple screens in the performing arts center. He’s showing off and happy to do it. He’s been giving tours since the Kroc Center was a few walls and a lot of gravel, so he’s enjoying having things to play with. “When was the last time you were here?” he asks a media type passing by on another tour. “I don’t know for sure,” the media type replies. “But we were wearing hard hats.” “Catch up with me later,” Duggan says, raising the screen back up again. “I’m anxious to hear what you think.” Amid all the tours, people are actually using the building. Screaming kids shoot down the water slide and people are working out on the fitness equipment. Starting this week, the first of the group fitness lessons are beginning as well. It’s all part of the soft opening leading up to the grand opening on Saturday, Aug. 6. “The people who are here right now

are part of what we call the first 500 memberships,” Esposito says. “Those are the people that decided to pay early, so they get to use the place for three weeks free. We just ask for their comments, so when we really open on Aug. 7, we’ve got the place working exactly right.” Already, people are swimming laps at 5 a.m. The Aug. 6 grand opening is free to the public, and whoever’s left who hasn’t taken a tour will be able to learn more about the facility. “Whatever you want to do in recreation, arts and education you can do it here,” Esposito says. “And it’s accessible to everyone. There can be a millionaire next to someone on food stamps next to a middle-aged person, and nobody knows the difference. We’re just here learning and having fun.” In spite of all the work he’s done to get the word out, Esposito says just opening the doors is doing most of his work for him. “Before we opened, people thought we were a homeless shelter, they thought our furniture was from the thrift store and they thought we were all volunteers,” he says. “But when they walk through that door, they begin to understand.”

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PlayBack Rewinds at Surrey Tavern The venerable band returns to its roots to celebrate two decades of soul

PlayBack “The Band” is celebrating its 20th anniversary by returning to Surrey Tavern, the band’s home for the first decade or so of its existence, for two special performances, July 29 and 30. While the venue might be the same, no one in the band has any illusions about stepping back in time. “When we first started, we were playing to one age group,” says Timm Coxx, the group’s drummer, manager and one of its vocalists. “Now, we’re playing for the children of some of our original fans and in some cases their grandchildren.” Good music, he says, will always attract new fans, and the music they play — an entertaining mix of funk, jazz, classic rock and R&B — is a sure bet to make just about everyone feel good. “It’s the type of music we enjoy because soul music is not just a category,” he says. “It’s music for the soul. We can play it because we lived it.” When they start off a set, Coxx likes to welcome all the soul people to the club. “Some people might misconstrue that by thinking I’m talking about only blacks,” he says. “But I’m really talking about people who enjoy music for the soul. R&B is kind of music for the soul, as is country and classic rock and all that stuff. It’ll make you feel good.” Back in 1991, PlayBack “The Band” had more of a jazz focus, but over the years it has evolved in order to fit the changing market and the musical tastes of its members. “Being able to play all ages and having a genuine knack for being able to entertain all ages is big,” Coxx says. “We’re in our 50s and 60s now. We’ve been there. We’ve been the young, hip guys, so we know all sides.” That kind of versatility has also made them one of the most sought after wedding bands in the area. “Some bands think of weddings as a come down,” he says. “But there’s an art to anything, and there’s an art to being a wedding band.” Part of that art, he says, has nothing to do with the ability to perform. “I’m very patient with brides,” he says. “I’ll give them my cell number and tell them to call me any time. I try to keep the lines of communication open with the bride and groom and parents. If they want a certain song, we’ll go out of our way to learn it.” Though the brides might appreciate V. 22 | NO. 49

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 11

PlayBack “The Band” the patience, the audience loves to see the band in action. “Our lead singer, Tutu D’Vyne, is a master at interaction,” he says. “I’ve seen her work with some of the toughest cowboys and homeboy thugs. She’ll make them come on stage, and pretty soon they’re singing with her and the next thing you know, you’ve got the whole room smiling and happy, because she neutralized the so-called bad boy.” Though the band has several interchangeable members, core members include Coxx, Wayne King on trumpet, Mike King on bass, Gary Oxton on guitar and Johnny Soul sharing lead vocal duties with Tutu D’Vyne. Founder and tenor sax player Tim Sanders is on temporary hiatus. “We have horns and we’re from Augusta,” Coxx says. “And we’ve got Johnny Soul, who’s probably as close as anyone else can come to James Brown. So we can play the James Brown sound and hit it dead on.” Though they started out as the house band at Surrey Tavern, time and popularity eventually caused them to spread their wings, which affected more than just PlayBack.

“After awhile, we started getting calls for other engagements, so it took us out of the room, which gave the other bands an opportunity to play there,” he says. “Once other bands started playing there, we started playing there less and less.” While they might have been playing less and less at Surrey Tavern, they were still playing, and occasionally the venues were pretty big. Like the time they opened for B.B. King at the Bell… and received a standing ovation. “That was a very special time, because B.B. King — he’s the king of the blues,” Coxx says. “We were very fortunate and honored to open for him.” That was back in 1995, only a few years after they started playing. Just three years ago, they opened for New Edition at the James Brown Arena. “We’ve had a taste, so to speak, of the big time,” he says. “We enjoyed it. But right now, living right here in Augusta, Ga., we’re happy. We get done with a gig, we go home. We can still work a day job and go home and sleep in our own bed.” Some people play golf, he says. Others play in bands.

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A Canal Full of Rentals The Canal Headgates Park in Columbia County, which recently expanded to include a new parking lot, picnic pavilions and better access to the canal, is about to receive two more amenities. Commissioners at the Community and Emergency Services Committee meeting approved an RFP submitted by Escape Outdoors for canoe and kayak rentals at the Headgates. Escape Outdoors’ primary location is on Washington Road in Evans. The Bike Peddler, a bike rental operation, will also provide service at the popular Canal Headgates Park. Director of Community and Leisure Services Barry Smith said he was excited about bringing these two new services to the site, which shares grounds with Savannah Rapids Pavilion. The canoe and kayak rentals will be run out of a rustic-looking trailer that looks similar to a log cabin. Escape Outdoors was the only company to respond to the RFP and will pay the county five percent of its gross revenue in exchange for a presence at the park. Smith said the canoe and kayak rental opportunities might spread elsewhere in the county. “He may actually expand to Riverside Park, but right now he’s going to set up at the Canal Headgates,” Smith said. “He initially called me about the Riverside Location, but when I offered this, I think he liked it better.” Riverside Park is located off Hardy McManus Road beyond Riverside Elementary School. Built in 1845, the canal is the only industrial power canal still in use and connects the Headgates with downtown Augusta by water and path. Because the canal is administered by Augusta’s Canal Authority, the addition of the canoe and kayak rentals by Columbia County might prove a little awkward, since it will come as a surprise to Canal Authority members, who have not yet been consulted about the addition of services. The Canal Authority developed a master plan for the canal in which the authority itself was to administer the services Columbia County has just okayed. “That was part of the agreement,” Smith says. “They were to build [a canoe and kayak rental facility on the water] per the master plan, but we’ve V. 22 | NO. 49

photography by: jWhite

Columbia County lets two new rentals through the Headgates

been implementing the master plan pretty quickly.” Regardless of the master plan, Columbia County went ahead and did it their way without consulting the Canal Authority. “I think I will probably need

to inform them that we have this amenity,” Smith said. “Theirs on the master plan was on the water, but this is setting up inland, so it doesn’t really have anything to do with the Canal Authority’s approval, but I think I will call them.”

Moved by the all the talk of new businesses, Commissioner Charles Allen complimented everyone involved and encouraged those attending the meeting at the Appling Courthouse to support the new ventures. “I just love the entrepreneurial spirit METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 13

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Thirty days. That’s how long Administrator Fred Russell has to get the paperwork to the commission so that the city can bring in an outside firm to review government policy and efficiency. The plan, which came out of the recent commission retreat, took an abrupt change when it hit Bill Lockett’s Administration Services Committee. Expressing the same concerns he voiced to the Metro Spirit last week, Lockett told the committee he had doubts

would suggest that whoever selected that person, be it you or us or me or whatever, had a vested interest in that particular person doing this.” Which is precisely what Lockett alleged before it ever got to committee. “I think that would play into the paranoia that a lot of our good citizens have,” Russell continued. “If we talk about transparency, let’s go ahead and continue to be transparent.” While a few people snickered at his boasts

about the University of Georgia’s Carl Vinson Institute’s ability to be impartial, considering its close relationship with the Augusta government. Those doubts, however, do not mean he’s against the idea of outside analysis. “I have concerns about the budgeting structure,” he said. “I have concerns about the more efficient operation of government. I have a problem with the government when we hire people when we have a hiring freeze. These are some things that should be entertained by a fresh set of eyes.” Lockett said he wants to streamline government so that the city can provide pay increases for its employees. “Our employees are loyal and dedicated, but they’re falling farther behind,” he said. Lockett’s usual sparring partner, Jerry Brigham, said he too was in favor of having an outside entity come in and take a look at the government, but he said he wanted commissioners to pick the company rather than putting it to bid. Administrator Fred Russell disagreed. “If you really want a set of fresh eyes, then maybe we need to throw it out and let the world compete,” he said. “My concern is if we don’t open it up a little broader than just negotiating a deal, at some point somebody down the line

about transparency, Russell again stressed that in order for such an evaluation to be effective, commissioners would actually have to follow the recommendations. “Once again, I think we’re at a point now where, as we move forward, we’re going to have to make some hard decisions and be willing to follow up with what these people determine,” he said. “We can hire lots of people to tell us what we ought to hear. Getting it done is where the rubber hits the road.” Proving Russell’s point, Brigham again insisted on choosing the outside agency, while Lockett branched off, floating the possibility of the committee itself interviewing the candidates. That idea turned out to be something even Alvin Mason, a member of Lockett’s usual voting block, didn’t agree with. “I don’t think this commission should be in the business of procurement,” he said. “People get paid very well to do those jobs.” Ultimately, Russell expressed his desire to formulate the criteria and scope of work the outside entity would perform and then submit it for the commission to review so that there would be no confusion later on. Whether that tactic is something the outside agency would recommend, though, remains to be seen.

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AUTHORIZED BY THE NONPUBLIC POSTSECONDARY EDUCATIONAL ACT OF 1990.

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The New York Yankees’ Derek Jeter achieved his milestone 3,000th major league hit in July, and Steiner Sports Marketing of New Rochelle, N.Y., was ready (in partnership with the Yankees and Major League Baseball). Dozens of items from the game were offered to collectors, including the bases ($7,500 each), 30 balls used during the game ($2,000 each, unsigned), and even Jeter’s sweaty socks ($1,000). Steiner had also collected five gallons of dirt (under supervision, to assure authenticity), and überfans can buy half-ounce containers of clay walked upon by Jeter during the game (from the shortstop area and the right-hand batter’s box) — for a not-dirtcheap $250 each. Ironies Budget cuts forced the closure of two of the three firehouses in Chillicothe, Ohio (pop. 22,000), and even that station failed a state fire marshal’s inspection in March. Because the station’s own alarm system was broken, the chief was required, until the new system is installed, to assign one firefighter per shift to be on full-time patrol at the station, walking around the grounds constantly, upstairs, downstairs, looking for fires. In July, the city of Daytona Beach Shores, Fla., agreed to pay $195,000 to settle a lawsuit in which six people claim they were strip-searched unlawfully by police. Four of the six were strip-searched during a raid at the Biggins Gentleman’s Club, where they work as strippers. Easily Offended John Luckett filed lawsuits on 11 different complaints earlier this year against the Las Vegas arcade Pinball Hall of Fame, claiming that he was wrongfully barred from the premises for obnoxiously complaining about out-ofservice machines, especially “Xenon,” which he says he has mastered so well V. 22 | NO. 49

that he can play almost indefinitely on an initial 50 cents. Among the damages requested, Luckett is demanding $300 for each “therapy” session he might have to undergo to overcome the trauma of being ejected. Luckett has filed more than 40 lawsuits in his role of, as he put it, avenging people’s attempts to “screw” him. Should’ve Kept Their Mouths Shut According to a bailiff, convicted car thief Thomas Done, 33, spent almost a half-hour at his June sentencing “shucking and jiving” Ogden, Utah, Judge Michael Lyon before finally finagling probation (instead of 15 years in prison) — by expressing parental love for his young daughter and blaming his recidivist criminality on his girlfriend’s infidelity. However, literally seconds after Judge Lyon announced probation, Done, noticing his girlfriend in the courtroom, made a gun-triggering motion with his thumb and fingers and said, “Boom, bitch.” A bailiff reported the gesture to the judge, who declared Done in violation of his brand-new probation and ordered him re-sentenced. Initially, all Jay Rodgers wanted was for the fellow Atlanta gas station customer to say “thank you” when Rodgers held the door for him, but the man remained silent, and Rodgers pressed the issue, confronting him and even following the man out to his car — where the man pulled a gun and shot Rodgers in the abdomen, sending him to the hospital for nine days. (Interviewed on WSB-TV in May, Rodgers resumed nagging the man, urging him to “do the right thing” by turning himself in.) Recurring Themes It is not the most popular fetish, but a few men do don raincoats and climb down into public outhouse pits. Luke Chrisco, 30, was apprehended by police in June in a portable toilet at the Hanuman Yoga Festival in Boulder, Colo. Chrisco actually “slipped” away from police, but was arrested the next day in nearby Vail. According to his Facebook and YouTube pages (reported by The Smoking Gun), Chrisco offered himself as a male escort (sample rate: $620 for seven days) and recalled in one video that, on the road in April, he once avoided sleeping overnight at a Greyhound Bus station because it “smelled weird.”

Police Blotter July 22 in Augusta-Evanez

Friday after the stroke of midnight, someone stole 20 metal bookshelves from the front porch of a downtown attorney. Oh, and he does want to prosecute. Better find an attorney. At 12:27 in the Columbia County hinterlands, a boyfriend was assaulted by his girlfriend while passed out in bed. They both went to the pokey. Meanwhile, at 1:47 out in Evans, a divorcing couple exchanged accusations of abuse at the hands of

the other. The husband claimed he was in bed asleep and she attacked him. And both claimed the other has “mental issues.” No arrest made. At 2:13 in Grooveytown, a man reported that he received several harassing phone calls to see if he wanted to come to the pool. Back in Augusta at some apartments on Rosier Road at 4 in the morning, a 2008 Nissan got carved up the “entire length of hood, trunk and door areas.” Insured by Progressive. At 4:45 at the Get N Go Gas Station on Windsor Spring Road, someone lifted a black and silver 40 caliber

Taurus from under the driver’s seat of an unlocked car. Things got a little hairy on Bobby Jones at 8:24 in the morning when employees arrived at Sally Beauty Supply only to discover 15 sets of hair extensions done gone. Complainant was unaware of the exact amount of what was taken because an inventory hadn’t been done. The alarm didn’t sound and there was no sign of forced entry.

10:28 in the morning on Smith Drive in Augusta, someone stole $2,000 in cash from a Nissan Titan. At 11:13 in Evans a guy finds his $1,200 Toyota pickup gone. At 11:15 on MLK, someone finds their $100 blue bicycle (with basket) gone. Meanwhile, at 11:42 in Hephzibah, Jefferson Electric found that while the owner of the house is away in prison his folks have been stealing power. Friday. High noon. A used car dealer from Martinez had a title stolen from him on 15th street.

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 15

12:30. Harrisburg. Someone steals a Mongoose bike valued at $1 (rust spots on the front forks). Victim saw the thief peddling away but couldn’t catch up. Says he “has papers” on the bike and not sure if he wants to prosecute. 1:20 at the mall a couple of chicks (one 5’3 approximately 120 pounds and one 5’3 approximately 160 pounds — ouch) stole 30 shirts. Then hit the bricks. Check the deli… wut?? Bad day for Nissan. At 1:30 Friday deputies arrived at Doctors Hospital to observe bites and scrapes on two brothers. Couldn’t remember who, or where, or why. Just that they left in a blue green Nissan. Back on Windmill Lane in Evans, someone has been charging Comcast to a local plant HR manager. In Robbins, IL. For $1,447. 4:36. East Kensington. Ex-girlfriend drives towards the 16-year-old former. “Get your ugly ass out of the way!” He will prosecute. 5:03. Citi Trends on Augusta West Parkway. Two subjects. 140 pounds each, one with dreads, loaded down a bag with goods and scooted down Wrightsboro Road. 5:22 at the Augusta Aquatics Center. Someone took three dry swim bottoms valued at $240 (?!) and a random bag of clothes. 5:30 Looks like a sweep. And perp. An iPhone and credit cards went missing at the Aquatics Center, but victim IDd a probable thief in the locker room at the same time. They left in a Toyota. (take that Nissan!) 6:07 p.m. 3211Wrightsboro Road. Popped a perp from Augusta Mall theft. Had to transport to MCG for pre-existing medical condition. 7:22. 3435 Wrightsboro Road. Guy marches into Kroger with a fake prescription for 60 tabs of methadone. Quickly arrested. 8:19. Lot 6 on Milledgeville Road. Complainant made clear to “not bring that drama to her residence” in the words of the responding officer. Apparently “suspect 1 stated the subject cut his wife off in the line at the fast food restaurant and that was disrespectful and the complainant’s roommate needed to apologize to his wife.” Oh, and accept the $5 he had borrowed earlier.

16 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

TURN of the

CENTURY A look back at the news the Metro Spirit was covering at the turn of the century

June 27, 2000 Austin Rhodes got to throw around some double entendres in his story about the arrest of Linda Williams, a clerk at Lucy’s Love Shop, a lingerie and adult novelty store. After some complaints from neighboring stores who were presumably uncomfortable with their proximity to a sex store, Williams was arrested on a seldomused obscenity law that made it illegal to sell anything intended to “stimulate human genital organs.” Last Friday morning, there were no violent criminals loose in Augusta. There were no unsolved murders, robberies, acts of gang violence, or car thefts on the books. No children were beaten, no woman assaulted, no drug deals went down. I say this with almost concrete certainty, because if the Richmond County Sheriff ’s Department could spare 10 police officers to arrest a 26-year-old vibrator vendor, then obviously, they had nothing better to do. Obviously the laws need to be changed to protect the privacy rights of us all, but I don’t think there is any legislator who has the… backbone… to stand on the floor of the Statehouse and introduce “The Georgia Masturbation Protection Act of 2000.” Maybe that could be Sue Burmeister’s first original measure. (I know Robin would have done it.) Tip O’Neill may have said all politics is local, but leave it to Austin to point out that all politics is a form of masturbation. Or was that just stating the obvious? In the Metro Beat story, Stacey Eidson related the tale of how a micromanaging commission got rid of a finance department employee, only to end up having to hire her back as a consultant for twice the pay. Commissioner Ulmer Bridges summed it up pretty good: “I think over a period of time we’ve had commissioners that might have had good intentions, in my opinion, of trying to help the finance director run his department, but today we are in a

position where we will be paying Ms. Grady double what we were paying when she was our employee,” he said. “I think we are in a position today that we are going to have to eat crow as a committee.” Brian Neill wrote a profile of the work done by State Court Judge David Watkins, who was recently in the news for his opposition of the choice of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas to dedicate the Judicial Center. “I remember when I first started, it seemed to me, there would be a sprinkling of young folk coming through the courtroom,” Watkins said. “Now it’s starting to become closer to being the rule rather than the

Sunday mornings, he tries to be part of the solution in his sentencing. “I believe in trying to be creative in the sense of trying to make the punishment fit the crime,” Watkins said. “If the job is to try to balance being corrective, as well as punitive — because I think the goal is to keep them from giving me more business — then it behooves the system to fashion a sentence that may do the trick.” “I’ve been here three years and if there’s two things I’ve learned, it’s that the mind is a mysterious thing and I cannot plumb its depths. And I’ve also realized that there is a God and I am not He, because I can’t fix all problems.” And though it could be a simple coincidence, it seems worth pointing out that the movie “Space Cowboys” opened Aug. 6, 2000, and “Cowboys & Aliens” opens July 29, 2011.

exception. I would say (their ages are) between 17 and 24.” The only solution Watkins sees to the growing disparity among Augusta’s young people is one that would be morally based. But knowing that many of today’s youth aren’t waiting in line to get into church on V. 22 | NO. 49

Tough Bid The Partridge Inn faces an uncertain future

photography by: Erin Garrett

eric johnson & jason lind

view of augusta from the Partridge Inn Penthouse

Outside of the Augusta National, there’s probably nowhere in Augusta more “Augusta” than the Partridge Inn, which might be why the community reacted the way it did when word got out of the inn’s financial collapse. People know the Partridge Inn the way they know their neighbors or anyone else they’ve spent time with. The Partridge Inn is a legend, but one people actually know. “It’s certainly the social center of the community,” says Joe Neal Jr., president of the Summerville Neighborhood Association. “Think of all the weddings. The parties. The dinners.” It didn’t always enjoy the beloved reputation it has today, however. Neal remembers riding his bike around a dilapidated Partridge Inn as kid before its renovation in the 1980s. “I think you could hear collective clapping back then when the group bought it,” he says. Though everyone loves a second act, V. 22 | NO. 49

not all second acts are successful, and to go from hosting big-name entertainers to an unceremonious auction on the courthouse steps seems like a pretty compelling fall. Local hotel executive Marty Matfess, vice president of operations for the Newport Group, an organization that manages seven hotels across the CSRA, says he doesn’t expect any kind of flamboyant surprises on the courthouse steps. The economy, he says, just won’t allow it. “Nobody’s going to go to the auction with $16 million in their pocket,” he says. “Nobody has $16 million.” In 2005, Walton Way Hotel LLC, an Atlanta-based investment company, bought the Partridge Inn for $8.1 million. In September of 2009 it failed to make a payment on a $16 million loan, and after the mortgage bounced around from bank to bank, it ended up with Walton Way Limited Partnership, which eventually filed suit.

Foreclosure notices were filed in Superior Court on June 29 and the property is scheduled to be auctioned off on Aug. 2. The hotel has a long and vivid history. With ties dating as far back as George Walton, one of Georgia’s signers of the Declaration of Independence, the Meigs family home of the 1830s became the 60-room Partridge Inn in January of 1910. An upscale hotel catering to wealthy Northerners looking for southern hospitality and warmth, the Partridge Inn flourished until rail lines to Florida allowed those wealthy Northerners still interested in warmth a more direct route to Florida. The hotel changed hands, began to flounder and was finally converted into apartments in the 1960s and 70s. By the 1980s, it was scheduled for demolition before a group of local activists stepped in and saved it. A two-year historic renovation ensued, bringing the hotel back in both stature and community

importance. It reopened in 1988 and currently has five stories and 144 rooms, though many say it’s been years since the venerable old hotel has offered the service and attention to detail that made it such a memorable hotel. Matfess remembers the days of David Jones, who gave the hotel a face people could recognize. “He did a very good job of keeping the hotel fresh and in people’s minds,” he says. “He did a good job of marketing, and they haven’t had a face to the hotel in a long time.” While people are often awed by the Partridge Inn’s sense of splendor, Matfess says that looks alone aren’t always enough to seal the deal, and to his way of thinking, it has two big strikes against it. “I know that hotel is not in a very good location and that it’s an older building, and with that comes a lot of challenges,” he says. METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 17

photography by: Erin Garrett

18 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

Though not insurmountable, the challenges are nonetheless substantial. “I manage seven hotels in Augusta,” he says. “It’s easy for me to manage them because their locations are good and they’re part of franchises that help us identify and brand ourselves. You know when you check into a Sheraton what you’re getting. The Partridge Inn becomes a kind of mystery if you’re not from the area.” Mayor Pro Tem Joe Bowles, a Hill resident himself, has a more positive view of the situation. “That hotel is always filled with people, and as long as the food is taken care of, it’s full during lunch,” he says. “I do believe without a doubt that somebody will come in, take over the management and be successful.” Given its age and charm, (and charm in this case often means a lack of the comforts travelers want), Bowles says you can only expect so much from it. “You’re not going to turn it into a nice Marriott,” he says. “It’s over 100 years old.” According to Neal, however, the age a big selling point. “I don’t think Augusta has a historic hotel other than the Partridge Inn,” he says. “Charleston has all sorts of them, but for Augusta, I think the Partridge Inn is it.” Matfess agrees that such hotels do have a place, especially in older, historic cities. “Hotels like that have a market,” he says. “There are people that love them. Some are even willing to forgo modern conveniences to get that historic feeling, but the number of those people are diminishing.” Though many people around town have been sharing memories and charting, however accurately, the hotel’s decline, the thing that seems to fascinate people is the idea that it’s going to be auctioned off like a crack house on the courthouse steps. According to Tax Commissioner Steven Kendrick, the 2010 taxes — $105,000 worth — were paid. “It’s got nothing to do with me,” he says. “They’re paid up on their taxes.” Sometimes, though, he can find himself in competition with mortgage companies over a property. “Most of the time, if I had a tax lien, the mortgage company would pay the tax bill because they know the tax lien supersedes the mortgage lien. They don’t want me to sell it. They want to sell it.” In this case, however, the taxes were paid on time. According to Matfess, the auction could result in some head scratching to the armchair observer. “I think the auction is kind of a foregone conclusion that whoever owns the note does the auction,” he says. V. 22 | NO. 49

“It will not become another Bon Air Hotel,” he says emphatically. “The government can prevent that.” Neal says he’s expecting the commission to help, should the need arise. He says that since the Partridge Inn is used as a way to promote the city, the city has an obligation to protect it however it can, possibly with tax relief or special grants. During its redevelopment in the ’80s, the project received an Urban Development Grant. The thing that puzzles Matfess, however, is the ongoing silence from both parties. “My biggest surprise is that neither the people who are currently managing it nor the people who are taking it into foreclosure are making any type of public statement,” he says. “Why risk losing nervous brides and companies doing business with you?” He anticipates those questions may be answered soon, and possibly emphatically. “I have a feeling that whoever bought the note has a very clear picture of where they want to take the hotel in the upcoming years.”

photography by: jWhite

“They can bid a dollar up to what they’re owed, which is $16 million, and they walk away with the court clearing the way for them to own the asset.” What happens after that is unclear. “My take is that after Aug. 2, a timeline will be set up for the new owners to come in and decide what they’re going to do with the hotel,” he says. “I don’t imagine there’s a better use for the hotel than its current, present one. I don’t think it would meet the state safety standards to become dorms for ASU. I don’t think it would meet the space requirements to become apartments, so what else can the Partridge Inn be but a lodging facility?” That’s precisely what’s got Neal and the Summerville Neighborhood Association paying close attention. “What people are concerned about is alternative uses,” he says. “The community doesn’t want another Bon Air.” Directly across Walton Way from the Partridge Inn, the sprawling Bon Air Hotel has famously become Section 8 housing and a source of crime and embarrassment to the Hill. Bowles, however, says such a fate will not happen to the Partridge Inn.

Asian fusion restaurant Bambu was located in the Patridge Inn in the early 2000s.

photography by: jWhite

Water wall separating dining areas at Bambu, the groundbreaking Partridge Inn restaurant.

V. 22 | NO. 49

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 19

Sold! You know the saying about how hard it is to find a good man? Whoever said that obviously never attended an American Cancer Society bachelor auction in Augusta because, now in its second year, this event continues to attract a slew of good guys, inside and out. These aren’t male models, ladies; these are actually two of the participants — Bryan Axelman, WB from Kicks99, and Ernest Hawkins. These two, along with the other participants whose pictures can be found on the society’s Facebook page (search American Cancer Society Bachelor Auction), will offer themselves up for bidding that starts at $25. They’re also in charge of planning the date with the winning bidder. Our money’s on Axelman, who’s planned a two-night date on Nov. 14 (dinner at French Market Grille West) and Nov. 15 (VIP access to Kicks99’s Guitar Pull, complete with backstage passes). Whoever bidders choose they can’t go wrong because these guys are good looking and have good hearts. Classic Men of the Garden City Bachelor Auction The Vue Friday, August 5 8 p.m. $12, advance; $15, door; bidding starts at $25 706-731-9900 cancer.org

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calendar Arts

Photos to Paintings Landscape Class, led by Sharon Taylor Padgett, is Saturday, July 30, from 10 a.m.-1 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. The class is open to all levels. $70. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthehearts.org. Bartram’s Living Legacy Lecture is Sunday, July 31, at 2 p.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Dorinda Dallmeyer, director of the environmental ethics certificate program at the University of Georgia and editor of “Bartram’s Living Legacy: The Travels and the Nature of the South,” moderates a panel discussion about the book and William Bartram’s history. Reception and book signing follow. Free. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org. Day Trip to Beaufort, S.C., is Tuesday, Aug. 2. Participants will tour the John Mark Verdier House, learn about Gullah culture at the Penn Center’s York W. Bailey Museum, and explore the ruins of the Old Sheldon Church. Participants will have plenty of free time to enjoy lunch overlooking the water and to shop. Members, $45; non-members, $60. Cost includes bus transportation, snacks, tours and admission fees. Call 706-828-3867 to reserve seat. Mosaic Madness, led by Michelle Petty, is Tuesday, Aug. 2, from 6:30-8 p.m. at the Aiken Center for the Arts. $90. Open to ages 14 and up. Call Cathy Rumble at 803-641-9094 or visit aikencenterforthearts.org. Arts groups are invited to apply to the Greater Augusta Arts Council for grants, awarded on a competitive basis with primary consideration given to the quality of artistic activities, management of fiscal responsibilities, demonstrated financial need, and the degree of benefit to the Augusta community. Deadline for application is Friday, July 22. E-mail Grace Inman at grace@augustaarts.com or visit augustaarts.com. Day of Art, hosted by the North Augusta Artists Guild, is each Tuesday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at the Arts and Heritage Center and includes a group V. 22 | NO. 49

Take Aim at Domestic Violence during Clays for a Cause, a fundraiser for SafeHomes of Augusta. Held on Saturday, July 30, at 2 p.m. at Pinetucky Gun Club, registration is $85 for individuals and $350 for teams of five and includes dinner, drinks, a raffle and awards. Call 706-736-2499 or visit safehomesofaugusta.org.

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 21

of artists painting in the center who will answer questions or allow visitors to join in. Call 803-441-4380 or visit artsandheritagecenter.com.

Exhibitions

No Nature, No Art, an exhibition by William Willis, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Jane Popiel Exhibition shows at Sacred Heart Cultural Center through the month of August. Call 706-826-4700 or visit sacredheartaugusta.org. Civil War Redux: Pinhole Photographs by Willie Anne Wright shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-828-3867 or visit themorris.org. Artwork by local artists Lisa Baggs and David Godbee will be displayed at the Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Art Hallway through the month of July. Call 706-823-8584 or visit wrh.org. Philip Juras: The Southern Frontier, landscapes inspired by Bartram’s travels, shows at the Morris Museum of Art. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

Music

Anderson-Cruz-Shaw performs at the Candlelight Jazz Series on Sunday, July 31, at 8 p.m. at the waterfront stage near the 8th Street Bulkhead. Participants are invited to bring their own seating and picnic. $6. Call 706495-6238 or visit gardencityjazz.com. The Skelligs perform at Hopelands Gardens in Aiken as part of the Hopelands Summer Concert Series on Monday, Aug. 1, at 7 p.m. at. Call 803-642-7630 or visit aiken.net/ hopelandsgarden.html.

Literary

Call 706-771-7777 or visit enopion.com. “Here on the Flight Path,” a production of the Fort Gordon Dinner Theatre, shows July 28-30 with dinner at 7 p.m. and show following at 8 p.m. $24-$40. Call 706-793-8552 or visit fortgordon.com.

Dance

Friday Dance is every Friday night from 8:30-11 p.m. at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans. $10. Call 706854-8888 or visit thebdc.us. Christian Singles Dance, for ages 18 and over, is every Saturday night at The Ballroom Dance Center in Evans from 7-11 p.m. $8-$10. Call 706-8548888 or visit thebdc.us.

Flix

“The King’s Speech ” shows Thursday, July 28, at 2:30 p.m. at the Maxwell Branch Library. Call 706-7932020 or visit ecgrl.org. “Wimpy Kid” Double Feature is Monday, Aug. 1, starting at 1 p.m. at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library. Participants should bring their own snacks. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. “A Bug’s Life” shows Monday, Aug. 1, as part of the Movies on the Lawn series at Hammond’s Ferry’s Boeckh Park. Movie begins at dark. Visit thefamilyy.org. “Dr.Strangelove”showsTuesday, Aug. 2, at 6:30 at the Headquarters Branch Library. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. “Rango” shows as part of the family movie matinee on Wednesday, Aug. 3, at 2:30 p.m. at the Friedman Branch Library. Snacks welcome. Call 706-736-6758 or visit ecgrl.org.

NOOK Tutorials at Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall are each Saturday beginning at noon, followed by a NOOKcolor tutorial at 12:30 p.m. Free. Call 706-737-0012 or visit bn.com.

Special Events

Theater

University Hospital’s Back-toSchool Festival is Saturday, July 30, from 10 a.m. -2 p.m. at Evans Middle School. Participants will find immunization information, information on before- and after-school programs, Columbia County school calendars and bus schedules, college education planning, drug, alcohol and safety awareness tips, and children’s activities. Free. Visit ccboe.net or universityhealth.org/calendar.

“The General and His Lady,” a production of the Enopion Theatre Company in conjunction with The Salvation Army of Augusta’s Kroc Center, shows Thursday-Saturday, July 28-30, at 7 p.m., as well as on 3 p.m. Saturday, July 30. The original music production depicts the story of William Booth, the founder of The Salvation Army, and his wife Catherine. $10, students and seniors over 65; $15, adults.

22 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting Ceremony at Riverside Dog Park on Hardy McManus Road is Thursday, July 28, at 11 a.m. The public is invited.

Cruise In at The Snow-Cap DriveIn is on Saturday, July 30, from 6-8 p.m. Proceeds benefit the Wounded Warrior Care Project. Call 803-279-4004 or visit snocapnorthaugusta.com. WeeklyWineTastingsatVineyard Wine Market in Evans are each Friday at 6:30 p.m. and each Saturday from 1-6 p.m. Call 706-922-9463 or visit vine11.com. Nominations sought for 2011 Preservation Awards. In order to be considered for an award, a property must be on or eligible for nomination to the National Register of Historic Places, either individually or as part of a historic district, and the project must be completed. Nominations will be accepted until Aug. 15. Call Robyn Anderson at 706-724-0436, e-mail robyn@ historicaugusta.org or mail to P.O. Box 37, Augusta, GA 30903. Saturday Market at the River, located at 8th Street Plaza, downtown Augusta, is each Saturday through Oct. 29, from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Visit theaugustamarket.com.

Health

Seven Habits of Highly Wholesome Consumer: Learn to Make the Daily Choices that Keep You Fit is Thursday, July 28, at 6 p.m. at the Wilson Family Y. Participants will learn ways to improve health from the experts. Free to members; $10 to non-members. Financial assistance is available for all Family Y programs. Visit thefamilyy.org. Weight Loss Seminar, covering obesity causes, side effects, health risks and surgical treatment options, is Thursday, July 28, at 7 p.m. at the Georgia Health Sciences Cancer Center on Laney Walker Boulevard. Free, but pre-registration is required. Call 706-7212609 or visit mcghealth.org/weightloss. Shepeard Community Blood Center Blood Drive is Sunday, July 31, from 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. at the New Hope Worship Center in Grovetown. Call 706737-4551 or visit shepeardblood.org for a complete list of blood drives. Family Focused Childbirth Tour is Monday, Aug. 1, at 2 p.m. in the Trinity Hospital of Augusta main lobby. Pre-registration required. Call 706-4817727 or visit trinityofaugusta.com. Cribs for Kids, a program to teach caregivers how to provide safe sleep environment for babies, is Thursday, Aug. 4, from 5:45-8 p.m. at MCGHealth. Those who can demonstrate a financial need will receive a portable crib, fitted

sheet, sleep sac and pacifier for $10. Preregistration required. Call 706-721-7606 or visit mcghealth.org. Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease Aquatics Class, sponsored by the CSRA Parkinson Support Group and The Family Y, is a group class designed specifically for ambulatory participants affected by Multiple Sclerosis and Parkinson Disease. Held each Friday at noon at the Wilson Family Y indoor pool. Call Claudia Collins at 706-922-9664 or visit thefamilyy.org. Joint Efforts, an informational class about knee and hip pain causes and treatments sponsored by Trinity Hospital of Augusta, meets every Thursday at 11 a.m. at Augusta Orthopaedic Clinic. Call 706-481-7604 or visit trinityofaugusta.com.

Support

A.W.A.K.E. (Alert, Well, and Keeping Energetic) Sleep Apnea Support Group meets Thursday, June 28, from 7-9 p.m. at MCGHealth. Call 706-7210793 or visit mcghealth.org. Parents Healing Together, for parents, families and friends that have lost infants, meets Monday, Aug. 1, at 7 p.m. in the University Hospital Dining Room 2. Call 706-774-2751 or visit universityhealth.org. Lymphadema Education Class meets Tuesday, Aug. 2, at noon at the University Hospital Breast Health Center. Pre-registration required. Call 706-7744141 or visit universityhealth.org. Arthritis Support Group is Tuesday, Aug. 2, at 5 p.m. in the University Hospital Cafeteria rooms 1-3. Call 706-774-2760 or visit universityhealth.org. A-Team Autism Spectrum Disorder Support, education and support for families of children with autism, meets Tuesday, Aug. 2, from 6-7 p.m. in MCGHealth’s Children’s Medical Center. Call 706-721-5160 or visit mcghealth.org. TheLunchBunch,abereavement grief support group for adults, meets Wednesday, Aug. 3, from noon-1 p.m. in the Aiken Regional Cafeteria Dining Room A. Pre-registration required. Call Cathy Cole at 803-641-5389 or visit aikenregional.com. Huntington Disease Support Group is Thursday, Aug. 4, from 6:307:30 p.m. at MCGHealth’s Marks Building. Call Amanda Stefanakos at V. 22 | NO. 49

706-721-4895 or visit mcghealth.org. Families Who Have Lost a Baby During Pregnancy, Childbirth or Early Infancy Support Group is ongoing. For information and support following a pregnancy loss, call Sue Ellen Abney at 706-721-8299 or visit mcghealth.org. Moms Connection meets every Tuesday from 1-2 p.m. at 1225 Walton Way (the old Fairway Ford dealership), room 1010C. Pre-registration required. Call 706-721-9351 or visit mcghealth.org. Weight Loss Surgery Support Group meets each Wednesday at 1:30 p.m. in Suite 110 of Medical Office Building 2, 3624 J. Dewey Gray Circle, on the Doctors Hospital campus. Call 706-651-2229 or visit doctors-hospital.net.

Education

Mortgage Default and Foreclosure Counseling is Saturday, July 30, from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Friedman Branch Library. Homeowners should bring a current mortgage statement and any other legal documents, recent pay stubs and/or other proof of household income, most recent utility bill, bank statements and tax return

SafeHomes of Augusta, is Saturday, July 30, at 2 p.m. at Pinetucky Gun Club. Registration is $85 for individuals and $350 for teams of five and includes dinner, drinks, a raffle and awards. Call 706-736-2499 or visit safehomesofaugusta.org.

with W2s. Call 803-663-6848, or visit foreclosurehelpforsc.org or ecgrl.org. Introduction to Computers, an educational computer class, will be offered Tuesday and Thursday, Aug. 2 and 4, at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Pre-registration required. Call 706-722-6275 or visit ecgrl.org.

Community Enabling Grant Applications are now available at the Junior League of Augustaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s website. Grants are available to nonprofits in the area who apply by 5 p.m. on the Sept. 2 deadline. Visit jlaugusta.org.

GED Classes are held every Monday and Tuesday night at 6 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. No pre-registration is required, but participants must have a valid PINES library card. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org.

Karma Yoga is offered at Just Breathe Studio, downtown Aiken, each Friday at 10 a.m. and is free if participants bring a donation of a personal item which will be given to the Cumbee Center to Assist Abused Persons. Call 803-648-8048 or visit justbreathestudio.com.

ESL Classes are held every Wednesday night at 6 p.m. at the Headquarters Branch Library. Preregistration required. Call 803-279-3363 or visit ecgrl.org. Saturday Historic Trolley Tour, every Saturday, begins at the Museum of History and tours historic downtown Augusta from 1-3:15 p.m. Reservations required. All seats are $12. 706-724-4067.

Sports-Outdoors

The Augusta GreenJackets play the Hickory Crawdads ThursdaySaturday, July 28-30, at 7:05 p.m. and Sunday, July 31, at 5:35 p.m. at Lake Olmstead Stadium. $1-$13. Call 706-922WINS or visit greenjacketsbaseball.com.

Benefits

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at Blanchard Woods Park on Saturday, July 30, at 7:30 a.m. Registration, $12, is available before the race or on race morning at 7:15 a.m. Call Adam Ward at 706-731-7914 or email award4@aug.edu. JRPW Racing Kart Show and Shop Open House, at JRPW Racing at 3874 Oak Drive in Martinez, is Saturday, July 30, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Karting manufacturers and product representatives, as well as national kart magazine Chasen Racen Illustrated, will be on hand. Call 706-863-1206. Youth Girls Softball Camp is Monday, Aug. 1, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. on the Aiken Technical College softball field. For girls ages 8-16. $75 per person. Contact Aiken Tech head coach Mitch Smith at 803-292-9659 or smithmh@atc.edu, or Jessica Strickland at 843-412-1885. Dip Metress Basketball Academy is Monday, Aug. 1, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Augusta State University. For boys and girls, from grades first-11th. $150 per person. Contact Coach Metress at 706-667-4765 or dmetress@aug.edu. Team Power Basketball Academy, an all-in-one summer basketball camp, is Monday, Aug. 1, from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Patriots Park. For

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University Hospital’s Back-to-School Festival is Saturday, July 30, from 10 a.m. -2 p.m. at Evans Middle School. Participants will find immunization information, information on before- and after-school programs, Columbia County school calendars and bus schedules, college education planning, drug, alcohol and safety awareness tips, and children’s activities. Free. Visit ccboe.net or universityhealth.org/calendar.

boys and girls ages 4-17. $90 per person. Cost includes lunch and a T-shirt. Contact Greg Williams at 706-5336852 or at teampower@augustapower. org. Registration also available online at augustapower.org. Couch to 5K at the Wilson Family Y is registering now for the program which begins Aug. 23. The sixweek session is designed for beginner to intermediate runners and walkers, who will prepare for the Gasping Gobbler 5K on Nov. 19. $15 per session for members;

24 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

$25 for non-members. Visit thefamilyy.org. Augusta Rugby Football Club meets every Wednesday from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at the Larry Bray Memorial Pitch, 100 Wood Street. New players are welcome. Email arj6402@yahoo.com. Group Run begins each Tuesday at 5:30 p.m. at Nacho Mama’s. Three- and four-mile routes are available for all ages and abilities of runners. Call 706-414-4059 or email jim@ enduranceconcepts.com.

Hockey Skills & Drills is every Thursday from 6-8 p.m. at Augusta Ice Sports Center. $10-$15. Call 706-863-0061 or visit augustaicesports.com. Thursday Night Chain Reaction Ride begins at 6 p.m. each Thursday at Patriots Park in Grovetown. For intermediate to fast-paced cyclists, who average 25-32 miles. Participants should bring their own water and helmet. Call 706-855-2024 or visit chainreactionbicycles.net.

Riverview Disc Golf League meets each Thursday at 6 p.m. at Riverview Park in North Augusta. $5 entry fee and $1 ace pool. Call 803-2158181 or visit augustadiscgolf.com. Road Bike Ride meets each Thursday at 6:30 p.m. at Andy Jordan’s Bicycle Warehouse downtown for an approximately 25-mile ride at a moderate to fast pace. Front and rear lights, as well as a helmet, are required. Call 706-7246777 or visit andyjordans.com. V. 22 | NO. 49

Wheelchair Tennis Clinic, presented by the Walton Foundation for Independence, meets each Monday at 6 p.m. (weather permitting) at The Club at Rae’s Creek. Free and open to the public. Call 706-826-5809 or email alsalley@wrh.org. Augusta Canal Boat Tours lasting one hour are offered daily at 10 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday Sunset Cruises, lasting three hours, are at 5 p.m. All tours include admission to the Augusta Canal Interpretive Center. Call 706-823-0440 or visit augustacanal.com.

Kids

Craft Program is Thursday, July 28, at 11 a.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. For ages 6-10. Call 706736-6244 or visit ecgrl.org. Auditions for the Augusta Youth Chorale’s 2011-2012 season are Friday, July 29, from 4-6 p.m., Sunday, July 31, from 4-5:30 p.m. and Sunday, Aug. 14, 4-5:30 p.m. at Christ Church Presbyterian in Evans. Those interested should visit the organization’s website and fill out an audition request form. Call 706-2109090 or visit augustayouthchorale.org. Fly, Butterfly! is a program for ages 5 and up at Reed Creek Park on Saturday, July 30, at 10 a.m. in which participants learn about the butterfly’s life cycle and take a butterfly identification walk. Pre-registration required. Free for member; $2 per child for nonmembers. Call 706-210-4027 or visit reedcreekpark.com. The Tuskegee Airmen, sponsored by the Augusta International Raceway Preservation Society, will visit Diamond Lakes Branch Library on Tuesday, Aug. 2, at 10 a.m. Participants will meet Lt. Colonel Alfonzo Jackson and learn about the elite group of African-American flyers during World War II. Best for ages 4 and up. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Toddler Time: Sun Print Fun! is Thursday, Aug. 4, from 10-11 a.m. or 11:15 a.m.-12:15 a.m. at the Morris Museum of Art. Participants will learn about the magic of photography while viewing the exhibition Civil War Redux. Afterwards, they will create their own sun print. Museum family members and parents, free; non-members, $4 per participant. Pre-registration required. Call 706-724-7501 or visit themorris.org.

V. 22 | NO. 49

Take a Chance- Apply for Membership to the SRS Citizen Advisory Board

Tootsie Roll Guessing Game goes on throughout the month of August at the Headquarters Branch Library. The winner will be announced Sept. 7. Call 706-821-2600 or visit ecgrl.org. Fall Story Time at area libraries begin during the month of August. Many require pre-registration, especially for groups, and include the following: Headquarters Branch, beginning Aug. 9, is on Tuesdays at 10 a.m. for preschoolers ages 3-6 and Wednesdays at 10 a.m. for those ages 2 and under (with parents); Appleby Branch Library is on Wednesday at 10:05 for toddlers ages 18-35 months (with parents) and at 10:30 for preschoolers ages 3 and up; at Diamond Lakes Branch Library, starting Aug. 16, are Tuesday at 10 a.m.; Friedman Branch, starting Aug. 16, are Tuesdays at 10 a.m; Maxwell Branch, beginning Aug. 3, are Wednesdays at 10 a.m.; Wallace Branch, starting Aug. 17, are Wednesdays at 10 a.m.; Euchee Creek Branch are Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m. and Thursdays at 4 p.m.; Harlem Branch are Tuesdays at 10:30 a.m. For library phone numbers, visit ecgrl.org. Tae Kwon Do lessons are at the Wilson Family Y, Family Y of Augusta South and North Augusta throughout the month of July. Lessons are twice a week and for all skill levels, ages 5 and up. $35 per month for members; $55 per month for non-members. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org. Larry Cat in Space shows at USC-Aiken’s Dupont Planetarium Saturdays in July at 8 p.m., while To the Moon and Beyond Shows at 9 p.m. Tickets for each show are $4.50 for adults, $3.50 for seniors, $2.50 for 4K-12th grade students and $1 for USC-A students, faculty and staff. Call 803-641-3769 or visit usca.edu/rpsec/ planetarium/.

The Savannah River Site (SRS) Citizens Advisory Board (CAB) is seeking applicants to fill several Board vacancies in 2012. The Board is comprised of 25 volunteers from South Carolina and Georgia that provide advice and recommendations to the Department of Energy in regards to the Savannah River Site. Academic degrees and extensive knowledge of SRS are not required for membership. Topics reflect stakeholder concerns in areas of environmental restoration. waste management, and related issues at SRS. Applications for the 2012 term will be received through August 10, 2011. Board membership requires a time commitment of approximately 20 hours per month, and includes attending meetings and active participation on at least one issues-based committee. Some overnight travel will be required. Board members receive travel reimbursement, but are not paid for their time.

To receive an application: Visit our website: htt://cab.srs.gov Email us: srscitizenadvisoryboard@srs.gov Call us: 1-800-249-8155

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Monday Movie Matinees at the Diamond Lakes Branch Library show at 2 p.m. throughout the summer. Participants may bring their own snacks. Call the library for a list of movies to be shown. Call 706-772-2432 or visit ecgrl.org. Family Y Day Camps, at all area branches, run weekly throughout the summer. For ages 5-17, preregistration is required for all camps, and a deposit of $15 per child per week is charged upon initial enrollment in a camp program. Register at any Family Y location or online at thefamilyy.org. The Augusta Arsenal Soccer Club Junior Academy, for boys and girls ages

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5-8, meets each Thursday at 5:30 p.m. at the Augusta Soccer Park. Call 706-8540149 or visit augustasoccer.com. Toddler Time, free play for children ages 5 and under, is each Monday and Wednesday from 9:3011:30 a.m. at the H.O. Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class, for ages 14 and up, meets Mondays at 9 a.m. or 6 p.m., Tuesdays at 6 p.m. and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. in the Weeks Ceramics Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Wacky Wednesday Story Time is each Wednesday at 10 a.m. in the children’s department of Barnes and Noble in the Augusta Mall. Call 706-7370012 or visit bn.com. Homeschool Playgroup meets each Thursday at 10:30 a.m. at Creighton Park in North Augusta. Call 803-613-0484.

Seniors

Games for Seniors at the Weeks Center in Aiken include Rummikub each Thursday from 9 a.m.noon, Mahjong each Thursday from

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1-4 p.m., Bridge each Friday from 11:30 a.m.-3 p.m., Bingo each Tuesday at 9 a.m., Pinochle each Tuesday from 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m.; and Canasta on Tuesdays and Fridays from 11:30 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc. gov. Line Dancing is each Tuesday at the Weeks Center in Aiken at 10 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Silversneakers I is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 9 a.m. and Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 11:15 a.m., while Silversneakers Yogastretch is offered Mondays and Wednesdays at 11:15 a.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Ceramics Class is offered at 9 a.m. on Mondays or Wednesdays and 6 p.m. on Mondays or Tuesdays at the Weeks Center. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov. Fit 4 Ever is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10-11 a.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Yoga I and II is offered at the Weeks Center in Aiken on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 8:45-9:45 a.m. and on Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:30-6:30 p.m. Call 803-642-7631 or visit cityofaikensc.gov.

Hobbies

The Garden City Chorus, the area’s leading men’s singing group and a member of the Barbershop Harmony Society, is seeking new members. Those interested are welcome to attend Tuesday night rehearsals, held at 7 p.m. at North Augusta Church of Christ on W. Martintown Road. Visit gardencitychorus.org. Augusta Genealogical Society meets every Monday, Wednesday and Saturday at 9 a.m. and Sundays from 2-5 p.m. at the society’s Adamson Library, 1109 Broad St. Free. Call 706-722-4073. Georgia-Carolina Toastmasters Meeting, for those who want to brush up on their public speaking skills, is every Wednesday at noon at the Cotton Patch downtown. Free. Call 803-593-6605.

Elsewhere

Jazz Journeys is each Friday night from 7-9:30 p.m. at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta. Participants can listen to live music while viewing the aquarium’s exhibits. Visit georgiaaquarium.org. Thursday Nights at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta features half-price tickets each Thursday from 4-8 p.m. A guided tour of permanent collection highlights is offered at 6:30 p.m. Call 404-733-4444 or visit high.org. Modern By Design by MoMA shows through August at the High Museum of Art Atlanta. Call 404-7334437 or visit high.org. If you would like to see your organization’s events listed in our calendar, please email Amy Christian at amy@themetrospirit.com. The deadline for each Thursday’s issue is the previous Friday at noon.

French Club meets each Thursday at 7 p.m. at Borders. Free. Call 706-737-6962.

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I have a confession to make. I never saw the space shuttle. Okay, I know. What’s the big deal? Most of the people in Augusta can probably make that same statement. However, most folks might expect something different from me. You see, I have a Ph.D. in aerospace engineering. Technically, that makes me a rocket scientist. A rocket scientist who never saw a shuttle fly. Shameful. It wasn’t because of lack of interest. As a kid, I remember watching the first test

flights of Enterprise as it soared off the top of a 747. I recall teachers stopping class at Evans Junior High so we could watch the first shuttle launches. I saved every copy of the daily that mentioned anything about the shuttle. Everyone shared optimism and excitement about the shuttle. Exploration. Innovation. Space is where we belonged. Then came January 1986. We lost Challenger and its crew. For some reason, I was at home from school that day and stayed glued to the TV. A failed O-ring. It wasn’t supposed to happen. But it did. Of course, shuttles began flying again, and the program demonstrated solid achievements during the next decade. Launch of the Magellan probe to Venus. Launch of the Galileo probe to Jupiter. Deployment of the Hubble

Space Telescope. Multiple Spacelab missions. Multiple communication satellite deployments. In-orbit repair jobs to Intelsat and Hubble. But the shuttle had lost a little of its coolness. Communication and military satellite deployments migrated back to expendable launch vehicles for cost and reliability reasons. The Soviet Union collapsed, and the political motivation for a space program went with it. The year 2001 turned out far different from the space odyssey envisioned by Arthur C. Clarke. It was more like a Tom Clancy novel. For the past 10 years, the shuttle’s sole mission was the construction of the International Space Station. Nearly 40 shuttle flights to assemble. A lifetime cost on the order of $100 billion. The loss of Columbia and its crew. America has a large investment in the space station. There is just one small problem. We can’t get there anymore. With the retirement of the shuttles, the U.S. government possesses no vehicle capable of manned access to space. What’s worse, there is no plan to develop a new system. In a mere 42 years, the United States has gone from Neil Armstrong’s giant leap to depending upon “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” for space travel. Shameful. Fortunately, NASA no longer holds a monopoly on space travel in the U.S. Remember Paul Allen and SpaceShipOne? If you haven’t been keeping up, Google “spaceshiptwo” and take a look. Good technical solution. Sustainable business model? Perhaps. I hope so. With the landing of the Shuttle Atlantis, the United States closes another chapter in the exploration of space. While the country has lost its lead, this certainly won’t be the last chapter that is written. A country of dreamers, innovators and explorers cannot stop reaching. Especially when we all seem to believe that space is cool.

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METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 29

30 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

V. 22 | NO. 49

THE

BOX TOPS

The Americans beat the British once again, with Harry dropping drastically at the box office to make way for Captain America. RANK TITLE

WEEKEND GROSS TOTAL GROSS

WEEK #

LAST WEEK

CAPTAIN AMERICA

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$273,539,281

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TRANSFORMERS

$12,051,735

$325,841,185

HORRIBLE BOSSES

$11,884,319

$82,566,703

”Captain America: The First Avenger” Sam Eifling Joys of this superhero movie are in the supporting cast details If there was ever a question of whom “Captain America: The First Avenger” eyed as its target audience, a montage in the third act reminds us. A young, determined soldier named Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) has just survived a military experiment that inflated him from a 98-pound weakling to a hunky übermensch who wears his white T-shirt like Saran Wrap. He foils a crime, is hailed by the papers as a hero and, this being the “Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition” days of WWII, goes on a road tour to pump war bonds. His on-stage entourage for these stops is a chorus line of highkicking, patriotically outfitted lasses shot from low, front-row angles. As Captain America the war-bondboosting soldier makes his way crosscountry, we see again his sales pitch, and another kick-line of thighs. Brave lads in the trenches and on the beaches rightly earned most of the credit, but let us not forget that the Nazis owed defeat in part to good ol’ fashioned heartland cheesecake. As for Captain America, he doesn’t have any otherworldly superpowers, per se. He’s big and strong and fast

and can leap like grease from a hot skillet. He also has a marvelous shield he throws around like the world’s biggest bulletproof Frisbee. Other than the shield and your standard-issue sidearms, he’s mostly content to deal in fisticuffs. We root for him because the preexperiment Rogers was a decent and brave fellow, and we expect that the ’roid-tastic version will be, too, as he marches against a rogue Nazi scientific division called Hydra. Its megalomaniacal leader, Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving), considers Hitler a pansy and intends to use some long-lost mythological Viking artifact to vaporize everyone on the planet. But just wait till he gets a taste of that shield! One curious aspect of “Captain America,” and one that keeps you more enrapt than you might have expected, is its charming supporting cast. Put aside Schmidt, the grotesque villain — and, to a degree, also put aside Rogers, who comes from a sympathetic corner of life and then, once Captain-Americafied, plays the Hero with a Dash of Naïveté at a steady clip until the final credits. The joys are the weary but buoyant

Tommy Lee Jones as a grizzled Army colonel, the debonair Dominic Cooper as the weapons engineer Howard Stark, Toby Jones as a Nazi scientist who looks like a Chris Ware drawing, and the unexpectedly convincing Hayley Atwell as Agent Peggy Carter, the love interest who remains achingly at arm’s length. No one seems to have told her that this is a comic book vehicle, not a World War II flick foremost — she plays Carter with a disarming earnestness hard to pull off in what is essentially PG-13 high camp. Ultimately you could almost watch “Captain America” as a bona fide World War II movie (hell, it’s more plausible than “Pearl Harbor,” and that actually happened). But a couple of particularly gruesome deaths aside,

this is a kiddie version of war, “Band of Brothers” with a dash of 007 and an unabashed helping of gee-whiz hyperbole. In a sense, director Joe Johnston (also comfortably retro with “The Rocketeer” and “October Sky”) shows us a version of the story America told itself about itself: The titular hero embodies the plucky underdog values and the measured use of deadly force that made us believe we could do no wrong in the decades after V-J Day. “Captain America” is pure American id — in 3-D! — and a pack of fantastic lies drawn bright for pre-teen boys. Intentionally or not, it tells us something about how America tried to captain its ship, and how it prefers to look back today.

MOVIE REVIEW V. 22 | NO. 49

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 31

Opening Friday, July 29

THE8ERS Going to the movies this weekend? Here’s what’s playing.

Action “Cowboys & Aliens,” rated PG-13, starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde. Directed by Jon Favreau (“Iron Man”); starring James Bond, Han Solo and 13; and written by the guys behind TV’s “Lost.” If there’s a person alive who doesn’t think this movie is going to be awesome, find him so we can kick his ass.

Rom-Com “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” rated PG-13, starring Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Bacon. Long-time couple gets separated and the husband, who was happily married, finds himself trying to date again. Way to switch it up, Hollywood. And thanks for not setting the movie in the Tuscan countryside. Don’t think the lighting would do Carell any favors.

Family

The Big Mo thebigmo.com July 29-30 Main Field: The Smurfs (PG) and Zookeeper (PG) ; Screen 2: Cowboys & Aliens (PG-13) and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13); Screen 3: Captain America (PG-13) and Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13). Gates open at 7 p.m.; shows begin at 8:30 p.m. (approximately)

Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) 12:30, 1, 3:30, 4, 6:30, 7, 9:30, 10; Winnie the Pooh (G) 11:50, 1:40, 7:25; Horrible Bosses (R) 12:25, 2:55, 5:30, 7:50, 10:15; Zookeeper (PG) 11:45, 2:10, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 1:10, 4:20, 8; Cars 2 (G) 4:10, 9:35

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“The Smurfs,” rated PG, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria. Wow. Guess gay actors really are being ostracized in Hollywood if this is what Harris has had to resort to. Poor guy.

regmovies.com

Masters 7 Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com

July 29-30 Cowboys & Aliens (PG-13) 11:10, noon, 1:55, 4:10, 4:40, 7, 7:40, 9:50, 10:25, 12:40; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 11:20, 12:10, 2:05, 4, 4:50, 7:10, 7:45, 9:55, 10:30, 12:40; The Smurfs (PG) 10:55, 11:35, 1:35, 2:10, 4:05, 7:05, 7:35, 9:35, 12:05; Captain America: The First Avenger (PG13) 11:15, 11:45, 12:15, 12:45, 2:15, 2:45, 4:05, 4:35, 5:05, 5:35, 7:05, 7:35, 8:05, 8:35, 9:55, 10:25, 10:55, 11:25; Friends With Benefits (R) 11:40, 2:20, 4:20, 4:55, 7:40, 9:55, 10:15, 12:30; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (PG-13) 11, 11:30, noon, 12:30, 1:50, 2:25, 3:40, 4:10, 4:40, 5:20, 7:30, 8, 8:30, 9:50, 10:20, 10:50, midnight, 12:45; Winnie the Pooh (G) 11:50, 1:45, 7:20; Horrible Bosses (R) 12:20, 2:40, 5:10, 7:50, 10:10, 12:35; Zookeeper (PG) 4:45, 9:15, 11:45; Transformers: Dark of the Moon (PG-13) 11:25, 11:55, 3:30, 3:55, 7:10, 7:30, 10:35, 10:55; Bad Teacher (R) 5, 10:05, 12:25; Cars 2 (G) 11, 1:40, 7:15

July 29-30 Mr. Popper’s Penguins (PG) 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30; X-Men: First Class (PG-13) 1, 4, 7, 10; The Hangover Part II (R) noon, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 10; Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG) noon, 12:45, 2:15, 3, 4:30, 5:15, 6:45, 7:30, 9, 9:45; Jumping the Broom (PG-13) 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; Thor (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7, 9:45

Evans Cinemas georgiatheatrecompany.com

D N E M M O C E R E W “500 Days of Summer” Anyone who has let down their guard long enough to fall in love will appreciate these 500 days. This film portrays the before, beginning, end and aftermath of a relationship gone sour while showing the good, bad and funny to an upbeat tempo. It tells the tale of a man who wants more than just a “beneficial friend” and a woman who doesn’t believe in love. It is always hard to let go of someone when you can only think of the good times, but to realize bad times and see it is not worth a prolonged heartache? That is when someone can truly move on. On their journey and departure from each other, this couple’s story carries over to the psychological turmoil that follows a break up and how one man is able to cope. And how a woman who refuses the existance of love eventually finds it. — MS

July 29-30 Cowboys & Aliens (PG-13) 11:45, 1:30, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7, 8:15, 9:45; Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:20, 10:05; The Smurfs (PG) noon, 12:50, 2:30, 3:05, 4:40, 5:20, 7:05, 7:40, 9:20, 9:55; Captain America: The First Avenger (PG13) 12:45, 1:15, 3:45, 4:15, 6:40, 7:10, 9:40, 10:05; Friends With Benefits (R) 12:10, 2:40, 5:20, 7:40, 10:10; Harry Potter and the Deathly

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32 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

V. 22 | NO. 49

Mr. and Mrs. Vega

ART

Move (Theater) Mashup Should moviegoers really have to specify that theaters not smell like pee?

With the exception of The Big Mo, the drive-in movie theater in Monetta, S.C., area residents have basically three choices when it comes to seeing a movie: Augusta, Evans and the dollar theater. Wonder how they stack up when compared to each other on criteria such as how long theatergoers have to wait at the ticket counter and the concession

stand, what kind of shape the bathrooms are in and the civility, or lack thereof, of employees and fellow moviegoers? We did, so we sent an average couple to see a show during prime time (around 7 p.m.) at each theater and report their experiences. Here’s what they found.

Regal Cinema Ticket Counter — When we arrived at approximately 6:30 p.m., there were approximately 10 people in line and there was only one person at ticket window. Person at window was courteous and pleasant but kept getting interrupted by another employee so it took about 20 minutes to get tickets. Concession Stand — There were about five people in line and three people working the concession stand. Not much of a wait, and the guy at the concession stand was very pleasant and courteous. However the concession stand area can use a little bit of cleaning. Good selection, but a bit pricey. Bathrooms — The women’s restroom

was in need of a good cleaning. Some of the stalls were wet, with urine on commodes and floor. They also smelled dirty. The men’s restroom floor was wet, which seemed to smell like urine but could have been water. The bathroom stall was not clean and was being used by a non-handicapped individual. This makes the wait for a person that is handicapped longer, since there is only one handicapped stall in each restroom. Theater overall — Regal was in need of some cleaning and had a musty smell. Inside the area where you see the movie, the floor was sticky and dirty. I noticed many employees walking around, doing I don’t know

what and also noticed many managers (chiefs) and too few Indians. As they say, all hat and no cattle. Many movie patrons are not considerate with regard to no talking or cell phones going off and people texting and holding conversations during the movies. The sad part is that most of

the individuals were adults. The kids behaved better. It seems for some it was the first time out into civilization. The best time to go to this theater is during the week during matinee hours, when it is quieter and there are a lot less people.

sightings Michael Johnson

mejphoto.photoreflect.com

Alex Mireut, Haley Berry, Sarah Grace Howard and Mercedes Sapp at Gold’s Gym.

V. 22 | NO. 49

Paige Chalker, Megan Powell and Jessica Scholtes at Vue.

Scott Henchel, Amber Kuhn, Rori Rios and Curtis Henchel at The County Club.

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 33

Evans Cinema Ticket Counter — We arrived at approximately 6:30 p.m. and there was no wait. Two ticket windows were open for customers to purchase tickets. The employee was courteous and pleasant; however, we had to inquire about discounts for disabled, which this cinema does not give, but they do give senior citizens discounts (55 years and up). Concession Stand — The area was very clean. There were four people working in that area and they were all very pleasant and courteous. They do not have a vast selection of items but are more generous with their portions

and the prices were okay. Bathrooms — Both the women’s and men’s restrooms were clean and did not smell like urine.

Theater overall — Evans looked clean but had a musty smell. The employees in this theater were not walking around doing nothing; they

were actually working. We enjoyed this theater because the moviegoers who come here were considerate of others; there was no talking or cell phones going off during the movie. We also noticed that an older audience tends to go to this theater. However, the teenagers that were there were very well mannered and adhered to the no talking and cell phone usage during the movie. Because of the price, quality of service and the quietness to be able to enjoy movies, this would be a theater to go to in order to check out first-run movies.

Masters Cinema door behind themselves. Theater overall — Masters is a great value, seeing that it only costs $1.99 per person to see a movie. However, the movies shown there have been out at least a month. Theater was clean overall; however, the only downfall for me was that there was only one place for a person who is confined to a wheelchair to station themselves, which was in the back of the theater. This area for the one wheelchair had bars in the front and sides. You would think you were in a corral. This theater is ideal for a person who is on a budget, frugal or people who have kids and want to go out to the movies. The price and service this theater provides is a steal in this economy.

Ticket Counter — We arrived at approximately 6:30. There was no wait at this theater. One person was at the window to sell tickets and she was very friendly and courteous. Concession Stand — The area was very clean. There were four people at the concession stand to take orders and there was no wait to be served. The variety of items at this concession stand was limited, but they were reasonably priced and they gave generous portions. Bathrooms — Both the women’s and men’s restrooms needed a little cleaning. Some stalls had wet floors but did not smell of urine. Also, the handicapped stalls in both restrooms are small for a person who is confined to a wheelchair to be able to close

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Jennifer Hurst, Avalon White and Jessica Ringle at Metro A Cof feehouse.

34 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

Greg Kuchenbecker, Nicole Earle, Stephanie Wunsch and Joanie Domzalski at The County Club.

Rachel Gasses, Chris Cook and Lauryn Fordham at Wild Wing Cafe.

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JENNY is WRIGHT

Jenny Wright lives in Summerville with her husband, who she calls The Man, and two kids, who she affectionately calls The Boy and The Girl. She enjoys taking photos, cooking and playing tennis.

Sam Is Happy Once Again We’re packing for a week at the beach, getting together sand toys, towels and sunscreen. Something is missing. We’re down one. Our family pet died a few months ago. Sam, our 13-year-old Weimaraner, had legs that couldn’t support his 90-pound body anymore. We kept hoping he would just pass on his own, but it wasn’t happening. We had to put him down. Although we agonized over it, we made the right decision. He was living each day humiliated because he could no longer do the things that happy dogs do. He got the newspaper from the foot of the driveway, shook hands enthusiastically and sung for his supper. We got him when we were in college, so the fact that he could get beers out of the fridge was pretty incredible, too. The Man would say “Sam, go get a beer!” Sam would run to the kitchen, returning with an ice-cold Natty Light for his owner. Once, when Sam had gotten in trouble for something or other, The Man disciplined him and he left the room embarrassed. Sam quickly returned with a cold beer, dropping it at The Man’s feet. Grateful, of course, the Man saw right through this, realizing that Sam was doing nothing more than kissing tail, though he thanked his faithful dog. And then another beer appeared. And another. And another, until nearly a 12 pack rested on the den floor. He had gas. Like any other dog, Sam

could clear a room with the tiniest puff of air. The best part was that he was somehow always startled by it. There’d be an audible “pffffffft” and he’d jump, looking around to see from whence the sound came. He was probably even more scared when he realized everyone else had left the room. He was a swimmer. He would spend all day in the water, retrieving anything we threw. He loved the ocean, chasing birds up and down the beach. At the lake, even in the winter, he’d follow the boat out to the end of the cove, swimming until he couldn’t see us anymore. We’d get tired of throwing the ball before he got tired of getting it. Speaking of swimming, did you know that dogs don’t pee while they swim? We learned that the hard way. They will go on the boat if not given a chance to walk on dry land. He was a pleaser. He was a dog of many tricks, but, like most dogs, sit, shake and roll over were used most frequently. He’d get so excited about showing off that when we would command him to sit(!) he would quickly shake and roll over again and again. “Sam’s a dead dog!” never got old. He’d roll right on over and wait for the belly scratch. He was our dog. Our first pet. Sitting down to tell The Boy and The Girl that Sam’s legs couldn’t be fixed was the hardest thing we’ve been through as a family. The Boy was quiet, The

Lindsey Thomason, Anna Leigh Smith and Coleman Carter at Surrey Tavern.

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Girl howled. They cuddled on the floor with Sam, giving him all the lovin’ he deserved. We said our goodbyes. We’re all pretty sure that he can run

Allen Flippo, Stephanie Williams, Kristina Creswell and DJ Anderson at The County Club.

on the beach again. He eats steak at every meal and someone is probably bringing him beer. Do you think his gas is still rancid?

Jo Magill, Sheryl Jolly and Julie Brackett at Rhinehart’s.

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 35

CRISP

Amy Christian

Restaurant Central

Don’t Forget Helga’s

Thanks to three restaurants within two miles, the Hill has become a fine-dining destination

Barbara Howard Could Summerville’s Central Avenue become a hip shopping, dining and drinking destination similar to ones in Atlanta? Andrew Crumrine sure thinks so, especially now that the street has three anchor restaurants. “I think when you look at this corridor of Central Avenue, it’s going to turn into a Virginia-Highland type of neighborhood,” Crumrine, owner of Crums on Central, said recently. “It almost has to.” Virginia-Highland in Atlanta is unique in that it has seven pockets of businesses that consist of everything from pubs and fine dining restaurants to garden stores, art galleries and upscale boutiques.

These commercial pockets mingle with the many restored bungalows that dot the streets. Of course, Virginia Highland had about a hundred years to evolve into what it is now, so Central Avenue’s “Midtown” district, as some have begun calling it, has a ways to go. It is arguably a lot closer to that distinction, however, now that diners have not one, but three casual yet upscale independent restaurants to choose from. Crums on Central, at the lower end, and Sheehan’s Irish Pub at Monte Sano, mark the start and end points and have enjoyed success for several years. The new kid on the block is 5 O’Clock Bistro,

open a mere four months. In those four months, though, David Ross and Barbara Howard — chefs, owners and husband and wife — say they’ve been overwhelmed by customer response to their European neighborhood bistro concept. “We couldn’t ask for better customers,” Howard said. “They’re so supportive. They want us to do well. They encourage us to be the best we can be. I think they encourage us to take it to the next level because they want us to be happy.” It’s difficult for anyone to be unhappy upon walking in to 5 O’Clock Bistro, where strangers and friends alike are often greeted with a hug from Howard. The dining area, which the couple admits was just a shell when they began work on the restaurant, is open and allows for lots of interaction, not uncommon since many of the bistro’s customers are neighbors. “The initial feel was to have a pure, community-based bistro that wasn’t overpoweringly chic but nice,” Ross explained. “Somewhere where people could sit down and look over and see somebody they know. It’s a social place because Barbara’s very social. We wanted that interaction of talking with people.” “That’s why we located here,” Howard added. “Because in the Hill community, everybody knows each other. It’s wonderful.” Then there’s the food, which is a mix of European bistro fare and classic southern dishes with a twist… sort of like the owners. Howard hails from Waynesboro, while Ross was born and raised in Scotland, studied art in London and began his culinary training in the

It may not fit the casual yet upscale vibe of its neighbor restaurants — well, it’s got the casual part down — but Helga’s Pub and Grille is also located Central Avenue. Known primarily as a pub that serves unusual collection of beers on tap and an astounding number of eclectic bottles, Helga’s doesn’t have “Grille” in the name for nothing. Ask for a menu, however, and the servers will most likely chuckle and point behind the bar, where menu items — written on pieces of colored construction paper with a black sharpie — are taped. Eating at Helga’s will make you feel like a kid again… a very bad child, that is, since you’ll have pizza bites or a corn dog in one hand and a pint of Guinness in the other. That, however, is the charm of this favorite hangout of medical students and trivia lovers alike.

photography by: jWhite

Sheehan’s owner John Beck did not reply to interview requests for this story.Wecouldn’tpassupusingthispicturefromourarchives,however.

Helga’s Pub and Grille 2015 Central Avnue 706-736-2880 The Radar Cinema

36 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

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free will Rob Brezsny

a s t r o l o g y freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Picture yourself arriving at your workplace, classroom or favorite cafe in resplendent glory, maybe even carried on a litter or throne by your entourage. It would be an excellent way to get yourself in rapt alignment with this week’s flashy, self-celebratory vibes. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Andrew Crumrine south of France. The menu reflects that dichotomy. Southern dishes like the homemade pimento cheese with crackers appetizer and the shellfish and grits with chorizo and tomatoes are somewhat familiar. Others, such as the steak frite entrée and the Coquilles St. Jacques small plate are pure French bistro. “Some of the dishes are classically done and French-based,” Ross explained. “We’re slowly bringing in the French thing like, with our cheese plate, we infuse honey with truffle oil and drizzle it over the fruit. The cheese plate is heavily French, and people who have been to Europe will order it at the end of the meal like the French do.” Whatever, and whenever, guests choose to eat and drink — the wine list, the couple says, contains unique and affordable bottles that pair well with menu items — the owners want those who visit to feel comfortable. “People will ask, ‘Do I have to wear a sport coat?’ Well, no. This is the south. It’s hot,” Howard said. “It’s whatever you want. David and I opened this restaurant to make it feel like everyone was coming into our home and customers were having dinner in our home. If someone is not comfortable in my home, then I’m not doing something right.” That is an attitude all three restaurants share. The food may be decidedly upscale — even Sheehan’s, which calls itself a pub, serves honey-lacquered duck and filet of beef alongside its fish and chips — but the attitudes and dress codes are anything but snobby. “I think we just kind of filled a niche,” Crumrine said. “There’s a large-scale void of independent restaurants in Augusta that are doing fun food. And I think all three restaurants are filling that niche.” The food at Crums on Central is definitely fun. Open three years, Crums V. 22 | NO. 49

serves a southern-based menu that nonetheless includes items such as fried Kalamata olives and portabella mushroom fries with a “Crummy” sauce. And despite the fact that the three restaurants are just minutes away from each other, both Crumrine and Howard say that this fact actually helps each restaurant rather than hurts them. You know, when my wife and I get in the car to go out to eat, we start the whole, ‘Where do you want to go?’ ‘I don’t know. Where do you want to go?’” Crumrine laughed. “You know, the car’s going to go in some direction. If people know they have a choice of three restaurants, then they can decide which one to choose when they get here. And I think that’s a huge tool for all three of us.” “It gives people three options instead of two or one,” Howard agreed. “And I think that’s good for all three restaurants.” 5 O’Clock Bistro 2111 Kings Way Wed., Thur., Sun., 5-10 p.m.; Fri.-Sat., 5-11 p.m. 706-922-9560 5oclockbistro.com Sheehan’s Irish Pub 2571 Central Avenue Wed.-Sat., 5 p.m.-until 706-364-1234 sheehansirishpub.com Crums on Central 1855 Central Avenue Wed.-Sat., 4:30 p.m.-until; Sun., 11 a.m.-until 706-729-6969 crumsoncentral.com

your vivacious curiosity so ask these four questions. 1. “What is the most magnificent gift I can give to life in the next three years?” 2. “How can I become more powerful in a way that’s safe and wise?” 3. “How can I cultivate my relationships so that they thrive even as my life keeps changing?” 4. “What can I do that will help me get all the love I need?”

When I was 19 years old, I was wounded by a shotgun-wielding assailant at Duke University. A few years ago, I revisited the scene of the crime and medidated on the exact spot where I’d been shot. Had there been any benefits that came out of that difficult event? Yes. I met three lifelong friends. Think back on a dark moment from your past and find the redemption.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The poet Rachel Loden describes her impressions of Daniel Borzutzky’s “The Book of Interfering Bodies,” saying reading it is like “chancing upon a secret lake full of trembling lilies that projectile vomit both poems and petroleum.” You’re attracted to that kind of strange beauty, surreal intensity and tenderness mixed with ferocity.

In “Tik Tok,” pop star Ke$ha claims that she brushes her teeth with whiskey. In interviews, she has said she really does it. “Jack Daniels is an anti-bacterial,” she told Vanity Fair. Why not prep yourself for unfettered fun from the moment the day begins? You deserve intense revelry. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I was considering the possibility of getting one of those GPS devices, but wouldn’t that be one additional thing encouraging us to let our memories atrophy? Have a talk with yourself about anything that might be dampening your willpower, compromising your mental acuity or rendering you passive. ARIES (March 21-April 19)

A veteran Hollywood film actor gave advice to a younger actor. “You’re at a level where you can only afford one mistake. The higher up you go, the more mistakes you’re allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it’s considered to be your style.” Fuel your ambitions and gain more traction in your chosen field. And one of the goals driving you should be the quest for a greater freedom to risk making blunders.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You could be a pretty good matchmaker in the coming week. You will have more insight than usual about how to combine things in harmonious and evocative ways. Take maximum advantage of this knack. Use it to build connections between parts of your psyche and elements of your world that have not been in close enough touch lately.

I have regular intimate communion with the Divine Wow. Whether I “believe” in my Dear Companion is irrelevant. You will soon have a very good chance to get up-close and personal with the Divine Wow. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

For more than 11 years, Jesus Leonardo earned an annual salary of about $45,000 by gathering up and cashing in horseracing tickets that had been accidentally thrown away. Like him, you are in line to capitalize on discarded riches and unappreciated assets. Be on the lookout. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Life will be extra responsive to

Would you be willing to try some experiments in self-sufficiency that would inspire you to love yourself better? Is there anything you could do to upgrade taking good care of yourself? By working on your relationship with yourself, you will set in motion a magic that will make you even more attractive to others than you already are. GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

You already know what you need to know in order to make the dicey, spicy transition. You already have what you need. But you’re still in a fretful mode, hunting far and wide for the magic key that you think still eludes you. Stop gazing longingly into the distance; check with what’s right in front of you. METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 37

THE END IS IN SIGHT By Daniel A. Finan / Edited By Will Shortz

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67 72

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Cry after hitting a jackpot “Peter Pan” fairy, for short Struggle (through) Surfer’s concern

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“Dies ___” Serengeti antelope Witch Point of writing?

T I T L E D

S A S L I D G E E A N E T T E A E R R L R E S S

A I N E D S T U R E I E T A M S C S I F R E T O R A P A C E S E K E A N G E R S E A R I E N U S E S D S S F P D A R O E N E R I S S E T S E A S T O N G A D E R S H I N E S U N T A N

answers

DOWN 1 Contemporary of Freud

2 See 96-Down 3 Vegetable on a vine 4 Cruising the beat 5 Hoi ___ 6 Coach Parseghian 7 Varnish resins 8 Jesus, to Christians 9 Quarterfinal groups, e.g. 10 “The way I see it …” 11 See 15-Down 12 Jesús, for one 13 Notre Dame football legend 14 Time to enjoy le soleil 15 With 11-Down, leaders 16 Chicago mayor before Emanuel 17 Number with two 18 Riga resident 19 Switch ending 26 Creator of Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose 27 Watch on the beach, maybe 29 Like bubble gum and questions 33 Skills 35 Main 36 Détentes 37 Classic root beer brand 38 1980s lightweight boxing champ 39 Of the same sort 40 D.C. baseballer 41 “Ya think?!” 42 Stuff in a pit 43 Give a body check 44 “C’est ___” 45 Vols’ school 49 Where Julio Iglesias was born 50 Rampaging, after “on” 53 Had been 54 They moved from Minnesota to Los Angeles in 1960 56 1994 Denis Leary/Kevin Spacey flick 57 Sorority letter 60 Stone in Hollywood 61 Word repeated in “I ___! I ___!” 62 Bellyache 63 Home of the 46-Across: Abbr. 64 “Ta-da!” 66 “Così fan ___” 67 “Buzz off!” 68 Eddie on “Leave It to Beaver” 69 Dovetails 70 Emily Dickinson poem “For Every Bird ___” 71 Bombastic 74 Some clickers 75 Over 76 Military group headquartered in Colo. Spgs. 78 Architect Saarinen 79 Hankering 81 “___ Alive” 83 Today preceder 84 “Silent” one 85 Krazy ___ 86 Something to watch when there’s nothing on? 87 Big name in brewing 90 Modern update 93 Clue 94 San ___, Calif. 95 Little thrill 96 2006 comedy title character from western 2-Down 97 Buck in the Country Music Hall of Fame 100 [Kiss] 101 “Yikes!” 102 Perfect specimens 103 Half: Prefix

previous week’s

ACROSS 1 Punch 4 Birthstones whose name starts with the same letter as their month 9 Senescence 15 Puzzle 20 Advantage 21 “Chasing Pirates” singer Jones 22 “Stop that!” 23 Matt in the morning 24 It means nothing 25 Parting words from the busy type 28 Whom a guy might hang with when he’s not with the guys 30 Isn’t shy with an opinion 31 Area in a 1969 Elvis Presley hit 32 “The Chosen” author Chaim 34 Cabinet dept. since 1965 35 Pottery base 36 Hans Christian Andersen story 43 Kind of shot 46 Critter with foot-long teeth 47 Dipped sticks? 48 Island known for having “the wettest spot on Earth” (450+” of rain per year) 49 French Revolution figure 51 Adrien of cosmetics 52 Iraq war subj. 53 Hardly breaking a sweat 55 Goldenrod, e.g. 56 Article for Lil Wayne 57 Eastern sect 58 Appears gradually on the screen 59 One of 15, once: Abbr. 60 Major upset, say 62 See 72-Across 65 Monster of Norse myth 66 End of a command at the Battle of Bunker Hill 69 Symbol of strength, to the Maya 72 With 62-Across, Whoopi’s “Ghost” role 73 Granter of an honorary degree to George Washington in 1776 74 Farmer’s ___ 77 Where K-I-S-S-I-N-G happens 79 Hydroxide, e.g. 80 C.I.A. forerunner 81 Palm variety 82 “Godspeed!” 86 Water ____ (dental product company) 87 How some stock is purchased 88 City on the Ruhr 89 Pianist Albéniz 90 TV part 91Gymnast Comaneci 92 Place with snorts 93 End of a Benjamin Franklin aphorism 96 Bring to a ___ 98 9/ 99 Pacifist’s protest 100 The Jackson 5’s first major label 103 Most clueless 108 Papal legate 111 2009 fantasy film based on a best-selling book 114 Goof 115 Former U.N. leader Kofi 116 Key of the “Odense” Symphony 117 “Swan Lake” maiden 118 Arm of a starfish 119 Has over 120 Tree with fan-shaped leaves 121 Grill brand 122 Cause for a TV-MA rating

V. 22 | NO. 49

gourmet R

Gourmet Relay is a weekly column in which local cooks share a recipe with Metro Spirit readers, then pass the tongs off to another cook of their choosing, who will be featured the following week. Dianne L’Heureux

Dianne L’Heureux moved to North Augusta’s Hammond’s Ferry neighborhood in October of 2009, but she is in no way a stranger to the area. “We moved here when I was in first grade, so pretty much,” she laughed when asked if she was from Augusta. Dianne, a veteran educator, loves her work but enjoys being outdoors when she’s not working, so she spends her time walking and riding her bike around the Greeneway trails

that surround her neighborhood. Reading and traveling are two of her other interests. Dianne has a daughter, as well as a new kitten named MJ, and says she also enjoys entertaining. She doesn’t even mind tailoring her recipes to suit her daughter’s vegan lifestyle, and shows how easy it can be to adapt recipes with her Kickin’ Coleslaw featured here.

bar

BEAT

New Bar Opens… Without a Gazillion Screens Bar West, a new martini lounge opening in West Augusta, is designed as a respite of sorts from the sports bar. Jason Beck, who spent eight years traveling the country opening Outback Restaurants (41 in all… but who’s counting?), thinks he sees an opportunity for a small player to go up against the big boys. We’re speaking of course about Carolina Ale House and the soon to be open Buffalo Wild Wings just around the corner. “We’re trying to create a lounge style atmosphere… something that’s been lacking in Augusta for a while,” he said. “It seems we have tilted towards the sports bar, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it does leave a void in the market. We want to upgrade the nightlife experience, if you will.” Bar West will feature fresh squeezed juices, and your mojito will have muddled mint from their own garden.

There is room for about 50 inside and an “outdoor room” with room for 40 or so more featuring cocktail service to ensure bused tables and no one having to trek back and forth for drinks. Beck’s partner is Clint Martin, who has known he wanted to make a career out of the bar business since he was 21. “Somewhere, Last Call, Vue, Alley Katz,” he rattles off as he tries to remember his resume. “I got a marketing degree to help me learn how to create, market and run nightclubs. Our idea is to trend the nightlife scene back up. It doesn’t have to be all about going out and getting as drunk as you can as cheaply as you can.” Bar West Next to Omni on Walton Way Extension Monday-Saturday, 4:30 p.m. until

Dianne’s Kickin’ Coleslaw 1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro 1/4 cup chopped green onions 3 Tbsp. balsamic white vinegar 1 Tbsp. sesame oil 2 Tbsp. mayonnaise (or vegannaise for a vegan recipe) 1 tsp. sugar 1 tsp. grated fresh ginger 2 tsp. wasabi paste 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. pepper 1 16 oz. pkg shredded coleslaw mix 3/4 cup salted peanuts Whisk together first 10 ingredients in a large bowl; add coleslaw mix, stirring to coat. Cover and chill one hour. Stir in peanuts before serving.

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Club Argos

$6 Long Island Ice Teas on Tuesday ($7 for flavored ones) will get you in the karaoke spirit.

5 O’Clock Bistro

5 O’Clock Bistro King's Way's secret gem

Don’t have a reservation? Sit at the bar and have a crab fritter with a glass of Loredona Viognier.

Bistro 491 fancy food with a sense of humor Calvert’s Restaurant old school Continental Club Argos LGBT Crums on Central live jazz on weekends French Market Grille New Orleans in the Garden City

Polka Dot Pig

Helga’s med student heaven

Don’t worry, the Fat Ass Margarita won’t make you fat. That’s the just brand of tequila. So go ahead and have a second.

Polka Dot Pig unique atmosphere & unique bar Sheehan’s Irish Pub the nicest pub ever

Pizza Joint

Surrey Tavern the original neighborhood bar

Thursday Live music at 10 p.m. and $3 off specialty pies. Do yourself a favor and try the Tree Hugger.

Tako Sushi Asian / Mexican fusion The Vue upscale dance club w/ occasional bands Verandah Grill at the Partridge Inn Augusta’s best balcony Cue n’ Brew pool hall Laura’s Backyard Tavern Laura’s house

Rhinehart’s

Pizza Joint Beer Me Tuesday

Sunday Afternoon on the deck with a $6.77 Jambalaya special and a beer. Yum.

Pickles locally owned restaurant in ColCo

Sidetrack Bar & Grill

Rhinehart’s backyard seafood

Bacon makes everything better, and they really pile on the pig in this restaurant’s BLT.

The Tavern at the Bean discreet, top shelf Sidetrack Bar & Grill by the railroad tracks Tako Sushi Asian / Mexican fusion Mellow Mushroom plus full bar

THE HILL

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EVANEZ

WEST AUGUSTA

SOUTH AUGUSTA

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Bar West

Opening Friday next to the Omni on Walton Way Extension. Get there early to nab a spot at the very cool outdoor seating area.

Allie Katz

Laid-back spot with plenty of drink specials and lots of games.

Allie Katz good cheap drinks Bar West martini lounge Cadillacs cozy neighborhood spot Cadwallader’s Cafe Italian flair Carolina Ale House sports themed restuarant / feat. outdoor covered bar Country Club dance hall and saloon

The Country Club

Cue & Brew great burgers

Friday, July 29 Larry Frick brings his guitar, his modern-country style and, perhaps, his cover of Prince’s “Purple Rain.”

Doubletree Hotel popular restuarant

Cadwalladers

French Market Grille West NOLA in the Garden City

The monkfish, with spinach, crabmeat and smoked bacon butter sauce, is so bad, yet so good.

Hooters hooters Limelite Cafe extensive beer selection Malibu Jacks beach themed restaurant & bar Rack & Grill true pool hall Rae’s Coastal Cafe worth finding

Robbie’s

Whether you watch sports or play, try it while sipping a Vegas Bomb.

Rhinehart’s backyard seafood Robbie’s Sports Bar true pool hall Shannon’s old lounge / new look Somewhere In Augusta sports bar & grill

Villa Europa

Thursday, July 28 Singer-guitarist Chris Ndeti, member of local band Mama Says, brings her soulful voice to this Bavarian eatery.

TakoSushi Asian / Mexican Fusion TGI Friday’s How many pieces of flair do you have? Wild Wings Cafe live music 7 nights a week

Road Runner Café

Sunday-Thursday New late-night happy hour, after 9 p.m.

Coyote’s great live music & DJs Road Runner Cafe in front of Coyote’s Villa Europa German / Italian /International favorites since 1974

THE HILL

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EVANEZ

WEST AUGUSTA

SOUTH AUGUSTA

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Manuel’s Bread Cafe - locally sourced bistro

The Highlander - real Bristish pub

Augusta Canal - music on the water

Sky City

Sweet Lou’s Crab Shack - Broad & 13th

Thursday, July 28 Modern Skirts, Oryx & Crake, Space Ghost

Pizza Joint - 40 beers on tap and slices

Sweet Lou’s

Wednesday, Saturday Crab legs are $8.95 a pound and Bud Lites are $2 each.

13T H

Tropicabana - salsa. no chips.

Frog Hollow Tavern - upscale restaurant & bar / locally sourced

Mellow Mushroom - plus full bar Sky City - large music venue Firehouse - proud downtown dive

1102 - block deep restaurant & bar

Metro Coffee House - coffee, beer, liquor, people

Soultry Sounds - jazz club Wicked Wasabi - authentic Japanese Soy Noodle - Asian sensation Blue Sky Kitchen - new parents New Moon Cafe - ecclectic grindhouse

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03 Metro Coffeehouse

Drinkers can enjoy a full bar, while DDs can have coffee. Bring your laptop if you’re feeling particularly antisocial.

Soy Noodle House

The spring rolls with shrimp in rice paper are a great alternative to fried egg rolls.

Bee’s Knees - small plates Rooster’s Beak - tacqueria w/ great ice cream Soul Bar - pure funk Playground - rock-n-roll Nacho Mama’s - rolling ‘em fat Stillwater Taproom - blugrass before bluegrass was cool Casa Blanca - JB White’s storefront Wheels - cool & on the corner The Loft - liquor with attitude

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Rooster’s Beak

A BLT taco and grilled corn with chili-lime cream, cotija cheese and cilantro? Yes, please.

Bar on Broad - contemporary South Beach vibe Club Rehab - upscale sportsbar Joe’s Underground - live music underneath Broad St. Tipsy McStumbles - confess later

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Bar on Broad

Fridays here feature a DJ and $2 shots all night to get you in the mood to dance.

New Moon Café

Spinach quiche, chocolate croissants, homemade bagels and coffee drinks — just a few reasons to have breakfast all day long.

Fridays feature a live DJ and $1 tequila shots, an ingenious (and dangerous) combination.

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29 BR

OAD

Saturday, July 30 Riley Williams

Friday, July 29 Bare Knuckle Champions

Eagle’s Nest - best view downtown Blue Horse Bistro - jazz tapas The Sports Center - old school pool hall and burgers Luigi’s - Augusta institution Beamie’s Restuarant & Oyster Bar - taste of the beach downtown The Boll Weevil - great food and the best desserts Cotton Patch - eat, drink, be happy Mi Rancho - chips & salsa on the Savannah 209 Restaurant & Lounge - soul food & lounge La Maison on Telfair - fine dining & tapas Fox’s Lair - coolest bar in America

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The Joker Lounge girls dancing nightly Fantasy Showgirls girls dancing nightly Discoteque girls dancing nightly

Stillwater Tap Room

Sector 7G - laundromat turned landmark

The Cotton Patch

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La Maison on Telfair’s Veritas

The Crab Tower, with cognac sauce, avocado and pink grapefruit, is a thing of beauty. Especially when you’re sitting on a sofa enjoying it with a glass of wine.

Luigi’s

Don’t feel bad ordering the chopped steak provolone off the “American” portion of the menu. It’s one of the best dishes in the house.

Blue Horse Bistro Tuesday, August 2 Tim Sanders

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SOMETHING

TO DO?

42 LOOKING FOR

ST 5TH

Club Rehab

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earDRUM There Is Strength in Numbers... Take Yer Act on the Road “Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” — Arnold H. Glasow I’ve often been critical of Augusta musicians and bands. It’s been my observation that, historically, the majority of Augusta bands have been lazy in their approach to their own affairs (including my own bands). Groups that spent countless hours perfecting original compositions in sweaty band rooms all over town always seemed to expect success to come to them like an Avon lady on a sales call. Obviously, for success in music at any level, the work doesn’t end at the band room door. This point is not lost on groups like Veara and NoStar, who’ve burned up the black top relentlessly in their pursuit of recognition (by the way, best of luck to NoStar on their move to Nashville and best of luck to Veara on the Vans Warped Tour and the European tour

Mazes and Monsters

The Radar Cinema

44 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

after that). Sadly, it has often seemed to me that these bands were the exception instead of the rule. Too many local artists have been content with what I like to call the tour of downtown Augusta. It is a fatal mistake. A band can only pound the same clubs over and over so many times. Burn out is inevitable. All that said, I now have reason to believe that the mindset of several local acts is changing in a most interesting way. And by that I mean changing in such a manner that the term “music scene” may now become more appropriate for bands in this town than it has ever been. In two separate instances for dates coming up in August, package shows featuring several Augusta artists will be hitting the road for one-off dates in Columbia and Tybee Island, respectively. A sort of Augusta music invasion, as it were. I think this is an outstanding idea and shows great initiative by all parties involved. The only way it could be better

is if the bands in question strung together several dates across the Southeast for a tour... and then made sure to lather, rinse and repeat every two or three months. Here are the particulars, in case anyone wants to travel in support of these endeavors (or if you were curious about the bands in question). First up on Tuesday, Aug. 2, no less than seven bands will make noise at the New Brookland Tavern in Columbia, S.C. To my way of thinking, these acts represent the latest wave of fresh faces in Augusta. The list goes like this: Mazes and Monsters, The Radar Cinema, M-Tank, Koko Beware, Romance Languages, Mann Ray, and Joey and Lindsey Hart. If no one from Columbia shows up, those kids are still gonna have a good crowd. The second bill happens at The Rock House on Tybee Island Friday, Aug. 26, and features bands that comprise some of the heavier and more progressive elements of the Augusta music scene. I

Artemia

have a sneaking suspicion that this crew will be traveling with a caravan of local supporters (because really... who needs a better excuse to go to the beach). This particular invasion force is comprised of LiE, Artemia, False Flag and Shotgun Opera. Dang, that’s like The Playground on Broad Street pulling up stakes moving to Tybee, ain’t it? All the best to our intrepid road warriors. Mind you, don’t cross the centerline. To find out more about what’s going on in Augusta music in particular and the music of the Southeast in general, check out the podcast I co-host with John Stoney Cannon from Lokal Loudness. This week we feature Mike Garrett from Rockshow Booking. Going to confederationofloudness.com gets you there. See y’all at the rock show... Stak

NoStar

False Flag

Veara V. 22 | NO. 49

Coyote’s Southside of the Tracks French Market Grille West Doc Easton Joe’s Underground Jamie Jones Malibu Jack’s Wayne Capps One Hundred Laurens Kenny George Rose Hill Stables Preston & Weston Sector 7G Bury Your Dead, Evergreen Terrace, For the Fallen Dreams, In the Midst of Lions, Hundredth, Thick as Blood, Betrayal, Murder Death Kill Sky City Modern Skirts, Oryx & Crake, Space Ghost Surrey Tavern Sibling String Villa Europa Chris Ndeti Wild Wing Mama Says The Willcox Four Cats in the Doghouse

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s Karaoke Casa Blanca Thursday Tango Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Candy Stripers Cabaret Cocktails Lounge Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Soup, Suds & Conversations Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Evans) Karaoke Pizza Joint, Evans DJ Kris Fisher The Playground Open Mic with Brandy

Shannon’s Karaoke Somewhere in Augusta Karaoke Soul Bar Boom Box Wooden Barrel ‘80s Night Karaoke

Friday, July 29 Live Music Cotton Patch Chad Nichols Country Club Larry Frick Coyote’s Southside of the Tracks Doubletree Hotel 3 Sides of Jazz French Market Grille West Doc Easton and Karen Gordon Joe’s Underground Mason Jars Laura’s Backyard Tavern Live Music Malibu Jack’s Preston & Weston One Hundred Laurens John Kolbeck Polo Tavern Robbie Ducey Band Shannon’s Tony Williams and Blues Express Sit a Spell Augusta’s Young Lions Sky City The Atom Blonde Stillwater Tap Room Bare Knuckle Champions Surrey Tavern Playback The Band Featuring Tutu Dyvine Wild Wing Moby Dick The Willcox Kenny George

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Grown-Up Fridays

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with DJ Cork and Bull Pub Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Iron Horse Bar & Grill Karaoke Islands Bar & Lounge Caribbean Night with DJ Spud Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Ryan Moseley Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Jeff Barnes Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Three J’s Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke Palmetto Tavern DJ Tim The Place on Broad Rock DJ Rebeck’s Hideaway Open Mic Roadrunner Cafe Karaoke with Steve Chappel Somewhere in Augusta Footloose Dance Party Soul Bar Disco Hell Tropicabana Latin Friday Wooden Barrel Karaoke Contest

Saturday, July 30 Live Music The Acoustic Coffeehouse Open Acoustic Jam Session with Eryn Eubanks and the Family Fold Blue Horse Bistro Live Music The Cotton Patch Riley Williams Country Club The Endalls Coyote’s Departure (Journey tribute) The Fox’s Lair Chuck Holt

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Joe’s Underground Red-Headed Stepchild Malibu Jack’s South Atlantic P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music The Playground Them Bones (Alice in Chains tribute) Polo Tavern Jim Fisher Band Shannon’s Preston & Weston Sky City Cesar Comanche, Projekt Lotus, Soul on Ice Surrey Tavern Playback The Band Featuring Tutu Dyvine Wild Wing The Lunatics

What’s Tonight? Cadillac’s DJ Doug Club Argos Variety Show Club Rehab DJ C4 Cocktails Lounge Latin Night Fishbowl Lounge Karaoke Fox’s Lair Karaoke Helga’s Pub & Grille Trivia Islands Bar & Lounge Reggae Night with Island Vybez The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Rockin Rob Mi Rancho (Clearwater) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke Ms. Carolyn’s Karaoke One Hundred Laurens DJ Kenny Ray The Playground DJ Fugi Tropicabana Salsa Saturday

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Thursday, July 28 Live Music

METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 45

the download Josh Ruffin

Josh Ruffin is a published journalist and poet, who just received his MFA from Georgia College & State University. He was once the most un-intimidating bouncer at Soul Bar.

Global Hit Plays It Safe; TED’s Robot Bird Is Awesome Look out! Robot Bird is coming right for us!

Wooden Barrel Kamikaze Karaoke

Sunday, July 31 Live Music Crums on Central Jim Perkins Jessye Norman Amphitheatre Candlelight Jazz w/ Anderson-Cruz-Shaw P.I. Bar and Grill Live Music Wild Wing Tim White

What’s Tonight? Caribbean Soul Love Jones Sundays Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke, Salsa Dancing

Monday, August 1 Live Music Soul Bar Metal Monday

What’s Tonight?

The World — Global Hit: Imelda Ray Global Hit is one of several regular podcasts offered up for free by The World, and past lineups have been nothing if not eclectic: Zambian jazz DJs, South Sudanese hip-hop, Syrian rap artists, and a band called Dengue Fever (ed. note: Josh gets a cupcake for not making a poop joke). With that in mind, the July 22 edition of Global Hit is relatively tame by comparison, featuring an interview with and tracks by 37-year-old Irish rockabilly singer Imelda Ray. The songs are cool enough and Ray can belt like hell (imagine a version of Amy Winehouse who was vocal coached by Emmylou Harris and didn’t know what cocaine was… too soon?), but it’s not like she’s the most culturally jarring thing to come out of Ireland — Van Morrison and Thin Lizzy pretty much established the precedent for Ireland’s ability to rock n’ roll and soul-satisfy. Come on, Global Hit… you’ve covered Japanese anti-nuclear digi-pop, so let’s step up the game here. How about Primordial? The native Irish black metal stalwarts have international critical heft, a refreshing focus on the underlying darkness of the culture, and oh, are a freaking black metal band from Ireland. You’ll not tell everyone something they don’t know, Global Hit, but that’s at least something most people don’t know. media.theworld.org/pod/glohit/07222011.mp3 TED — Ideas Worth Spreading: Robot Bird Hell. Yes. This is more like it. If you thought “robot bird” was some precocious/pretentious metaphor relating to our over-mechanized society perpetually bleeding oil, iron and electrodes over into sweet, green Nature, then Markus Fischer and his team at Festo are having a laugh. In case you aren’t familiar with the premise of TED, it’s an online collection of short talks given by a wide variety of interesting and gloriously insane individuals. This one starts off innocuously enough: Fischer explains, in somewhat fractured English, the motivation behind building the robot bird in the first place: essentially, “because we damn well want to, and why not?” After telling those in attendance to “take your seatbelts on” and “put your hats off,” his assistants in the back unleash SmartBird. Smartbird, by the way, looks, flies and generally moves exactly like a seagull, though he does have a touch of the mechanical owl from “Clash of the Titans.” It’s a completely natural motion, and it’s amazing. There are two things, then, to take from this: 1) Markus Fischer and people like him get paid to do awesome random stuff like this, and that’s a world I’m glad I live in. 2) Once the machines usurp global power and train their new adamantium SmartBirds to peck out our eyes, we can at least rest assured that the last thing we see before we die screaming will be beautiful. ted.com/talks/a_robot_that_flies_like_a_bird.html

46 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

Applebee’s (Evans) Trivia Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Hopelands Gardens The Skelligs Malibu Jack’s Trivia with Mike Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke with Danny Haywood Somewhere In Augusta Poker Tournament Wild Wing Trivia and Karaoke

Tuesday, August 2 Live Music Blue Horse Bistro Tim Sanders Cocktails Lounge Live Music Fox’s Lair John Fisher Joe’s Underground Happy Bones Sector 7G Narratives, In Regret, Broadcast, Be Easy, Dying Whale, Behold the Messenger The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight? Club Argos Karaoke Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Karaoke with Big Tony Fishbowl Lounge Dart League Islands Bar & Lounge DJ Fred Nice Malibu Jack’s Karaoke with Denny Somewhere in Augusta Trivia with Charles

Wednesday, August 3 Live Music 209 on the River Smooth Grooves Cadillac’s Live Band Joe’s Underground Sibling String Malibu Jack’s Marilyn Adcock The Willcox Hal Shreck

What’s Tonight? Club Argos Santoni’s Satin Dolls Club Rehab Jenn’s Crazy Karaoke Club Sparx Trivia Cocktails Lounge Augusta’s Got Talent

The Cotton Patch Trivia and Tunes with Cliff Bennett Laura’s Backyard Tavern Karaoke The Loft Karaoke Mi Rancho (Downtown) Karaoke Mi Rancho (Washington Road) Karaoke with Rockin’ Rob The Place on Broad Jazz DJ The Playground Krazy Karaoke with Big Troy Polo Tavern Karaoke with Tom Mitchell Somewhere In Augusta Trivia with Charles

Upcoming Acoustic Muffin (Danger Muffin) Stillwater Tap Room August 5 Merle Haggard Bell Auditorium August 6 Gift Horse, Eat Lightning Sky City August 6 Bryan Adams Imperial Theatre August 8 Ed Turner’s Rock and Soul Review Imperial Theatre August 12-13 Whiskey Gentry, American Aquarium, Sibling String Sky City August 12 The New Familiars Stillwater Tap Room August 13 Keith Urban James Brown Arena August 13 Hellblinki Sky City August 13 Betsy Franck Stillwater Tap Room August 19 Corey Smith Jessye Norman Amphitheatre September 1 Smooth Music Festival with Boney James and Rachelle Ferrell Bell Auditorium September 2 Whiskey Gentry Stillwater Tap Room September 16 Efren Stillwater Tap Room September 23 Langhorne Slim Sky City October 1 Casting Crowns USC-Aiken Convocation Center November 25

Elsewhere Bob Dylan, Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 28 Bon Iver Cobb Energy Performing Arts Center, Atlanta July 28 Kesha Arena at Gwinnett Center, Duluth July 30 Lucinda Williams, Fort Stewart Stadium, Hinesville July 30 311 Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta July 30 Vans Warped Tour Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood, Atlanta August 1 Dolly Parton Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre at Encore Park, Alpharetta August 3 Brian Wilson Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta August 3 Blackberry Smoke Georgia Theatre, Athens August 5 Gillian Welch Variety Playhouse, Atlanta August 6 V. 22 | NO. 49

dark AFTER

Lara Fortune

When Worlds Collide

LIVE & LOCAL

This week I wanted to talk about something I’m wrestling with. I graduated college a few years back, and I am in no way ready to settle down. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely going to have a husband and family one day, but the thought of it makes me almost sick to my stomach. I guess it’s a ways off. So I have my feet in two totally different worlds. In my work life, I am professional and can hold my own with anyone. But the other side is the college party life with all its drunken debauchery. I can’t seem to completely rid myself of it. There are things I see, however, that sort of jolt me into the grown-up world. I guess the best example I can think of is the creepy little man who asked me to have a picture taken with him while I was working at a local club. Sure, why not? Well, next weekend he comes in and has this little scrapbook filled with pictures he’s had taken with local girls like me. And he asked me to sign my photo with him. Ewwww. Which brings up the point of my column this week. Facebook. Privacy. I mean, it’s all out there for anyone

to see. Pictures of me. Pictures of my friends I went to school with. Basically a stalker’s dream come true. Want to know where I spent my weekend? It won’t take long trolling around FB to find out. Whether I put it there or not. It freaks me out. But how can you live without it? You’d miss the latest gossip! Which brings me to my latest obsession. Google+. Don’t get me wrong. I just used iTunes for the first time in my life recently. I’m no early adopter. However Google+ is pretty cool. It lets you choose who sees what and doesn’t spread your business all over the World Wide Web. I can have a little circle of my work friends that I can share boring stuff with. I have my girlfriends I can bitch about my boyfriend to. Only problem is I’m a little paranoid since I have a cheating boyfriend. He can do the same thing to me! I’m going to try and make this work. Hopefully it’ll hold my attention long enough to get it up and running (I can’t even upload my picture!) and convince my friends to join. That way my two worlds will stay my business.

Lara Fortune, our outrageous new nightlife columnist, is real, fun and she gets around, which is mandatory if you’re going to be our heels on the ground. Did we mention she’s real? V. 22 | NO. 49

and ne ver a c over!

the line-up 7.28 Thursday Mama Says 7.29 Friday Night Rocks with Moby Dick 7.30 Saturday Music with The Lunatics 7.31 Sunday Blue Jeans Brunch 11am-3pm Tim White Washington Road just past I-20 • 706-364-WILD (9453) w w w. w i l d w i n g c a f e . c o m METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 47

Matt Lane is host of The Weekend Rundown which airs from 10 a.m.-noon Saturdays on News-TalkSports 1630 AM. He can be reached at mattlane28@gmail.com.

Ball

Matt Lane

NFL? How ’Bout Chev y Game Night Live Instead? I have some exciting football news for the CSRA. Now, I know you don’t live underneath a rock or anything, so me telling you that the NFL ended their lockout this week is, well, stale news at this point. Hooray! Somehow they figured out a way for an $8 billion business model to work for both sides! I digress. Finally relieved of the hysteria that commandeered my Twitter feed for the past five months, I am grateful they reached an agreement. And while we all hope that the Falcons soar on Sundays, we’ve been blessed with some appointment watching on Thursday nights, thanks to WJBF-TV. They have come up with not only the idea of airing a live broadcast of an area high school football game each

week, they also got the game moved to an exclusive Thursday night time slot at 7 p.m. on their digital channel 6.2 (Knology/Atlantic Broadband 248 or Comcast 380), so you won’t miss any Football Friday night action. It’s called Chevy Game Night Live, and I, alongside my esteemed colleague Ashley Brown of WGAC, will provide play-by-play and color commentary for the broadcast. There will be a sideline reporter for the game as well. I think I speak for everyone involved in being overwhelmingly grateful for this groundbreaking opportunity. The goal for all involved is to get exposure to the abundance of talent we have in the CSRA, and WJBF (Channel 6) is raising that bar to heights unseen. Without further ado, here is the 11-week schedule.

Chev y Game Night Live schedule August 18: Grovetown at Greenbrier Coach Holder takes on his old school in a great match-up to begin the season. August 25: Strom Thurmond at Laney A quarterback battle with stat-stuffers Leo Myers of Laney hosting Raleigh Yeldell and the Fighting Rebels. September 1: McCormick at Lincoln County Larry Campbell has eight straight 10-plus win seasons in a row. McCormick would love nothing more than to cross the river and steal one from the winningest high school football coach in Georgia history. September 8: North Augusta at Lakeside Mark Weidenaar, Lakeside’s quarterback and an outstanding athlete, is coming off

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a season-ending knee injury suffered a year ago to take over for the graduated Ben Wilson and lead the Panthers this year. September 15: Harlem at Butler Jimmie Lewis and Co. head to Butler to take on Ashley Harden and his group of rejuvenated Bulldogs. September 22: Glenn Hills at Josey Last year this was a hard-fought battle for the victorious Josey Eagles, who won 18-14. September 29: ARC at Thomson ARC went on to win five straight after last year’s loss to Thomson. Will they walk out of the Brickyard with a win this year? October 6: Greenbrier at Evans Big game for Thomas Brown and the Wolfpack as they play Lakeside the previous Friday, and travel to Evans on the short week of rest. October 13: Orangeburg Prep at Augusta Christian Augusta Christian is anxious to show that their talent is a force to be reckoned with in the CSRA, but will Orangeburg Prep step up to the plate and agree on the scheduling? October 20: Fox Creek at Williston Elko Williston-Elko’s Kendric Salley vs. Fox Creek’s Marty Williams: The scoreboard might explode if those two are on. October 27: Wash-Wilkes at Aquinas Revenge game for Aquinas as this is the one they let slip through their fingers and, with the loss to Warren County the following week, propelled the Tigers to the playoffs last year instead of the Irish.

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advice goddess Amy Alkon

Booty Rest My wife is co-sleeping — sharing our bed — with our two children. I understand why she sleeps with our baby, who’s breastfeeding, but not why my 6-year-old daughter must sleep in our bed. I’ve quit sharing the “family bed,” as I need my rest. I fully believe that my daughter should go to her own bed now. My wife does not agree. In fact, she refuses to even discuss it. We never were a high-frequency sex couple, but we’re verging on becoming a sexless one. Beyond that, I’d like to get back to sleeping in the same bed with my wife without getting a small foot planted in my face. — Crowded “Barrier methods” of birth control like condoms, a diaphragm and the cervical cap aren’t 100 percent effective at blocking sperm from entering the uterus, but one barrier method is: the 6-year-old between you in bed asking, “Can I have a Popsicle?” “Do cats have bellybuttons?” “Who will take care of me if you die?” I know, saying no to kids is so 1989, but somebody should really try to bring it back. As I wrote in my book “I See Rude People,” there used to be kid places and adult places. But even the martini lounge is no longer adults-only in places like New York City, where more and more, bar fights consist of little Anson clocking little Kamil over the head with his plastic truck. Beyond how a child who

rarely gets told no grows up into an adult entitled brat, what do kids have to look forward to if, at six, they’re sleeping in the master bedroom after a rough night at the bar? And sure, studies suggest that co-sleeping may prevent sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS rate is lowest in cultures that co-sleep), but there’s yet to be a report of a kid dying of SIDS at age 6. It is good that your wife is sleeping with the baby. Anthropologist and infant sleep expert Dr. James J. McKenna finds that co-sleeping babies cry less and breastfeed more often and for longer durations. They tend to synchronize their breathing with the sleeping parent — perhaps training themselves in how to breathe — and spend less time in the deepest stages of sleep, during which quick arousals to recover from apneas (pauses in breathing) are more difficult for them. Because, like SUVs, sleeping parents are prone to rollover, and because a baby can be smothered by blankets or a soft mattress, it’s safest if the mother sleeps with the baby in a sidecar or bassinet next to her. It’s bad enough that marriage means committing to have sex with only one person until you die. It’s not supposed to be one… or fewer. (“Do you take this woman to stiff you on sex till death do you part?”) Marriage is also a partnership, not a dictatorship, meaning one spouse doesn’t get to set policy by shutting down all discussion. That said, the spouse getting the

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refusals to talk has to refuse to accept that. Your wife isn’t playing fair in lavishing all her attention on the kids. You’re still there, and not just to bring home the bacon and then repair quietly to your new sleeping quarters — the pink bedroom with the princess duvet. You need to talk about how much sex you’d like, and

The Clique and The Dead-Tired My boyfriend thrashes in his sleep, keeping me awake. We have a spare bedroom, so I suggested we do our sleeping separately. He worries that friends will see our separate beds and think we have sexual problems. I’m tired of going to work exhausted — and not for a good reason. — Bleary What kind of friends do you have that they’d come over for parties and inspect your home for signs of sexual activity? And how would they know you’re sleeping in separate rooms? Would your door have a Barbie and a feather boa nailed to it, and would his have a sign

that says “Girls Have Cooties” with a Post-it from you: “Actually, I got those taken care of at the clinic last year”? The truth is, per news reports, more and more couples are doing their sleeping separately — for reasons like yours. It is common to arrange your life around impressing your friends… when you’re in seventh grade. But if your adult boyfriend cares this much about what people think, why leave anything to chance? Send out Evites: “Dear Friends, We’re taking a break from having nonstop stupendous sex to throw a party. Please join us for dinner. Watch where you sit.”

©2011, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email adviceamy@aol.com. Also visit advicegoddess.com and read Amy Alkon’s book: “I See Rude People: One Woman’s Battle to Beat Some Manners Into Impolite Society” (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

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how much she’s willing to provide, and work out a compromise. If your marriage is going to last, acrobatics in the marital bedroom had better not amount to your 6-year-old practicing her cartwheels on what used to be Mommy and Daddy’s bed.

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METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11 49

austin R

Strange Days Indeed! Six years ago when I was on a Jamaican vacation, the London subway bombings occurred. This year, it was the attack on Norwegian youth attending a leadership camp at the hands of a Timothy McVeigh copycat terrorist, who also apparently had a mad crush on the Unabomber. No need to get into the well-discussed motives in the above-mentioned cases, which exist as proof positive that terror in today’s world seems to come in all flavors: foreign and domestic, left wing and right wing. “Batcrap crazy evil” seems to be an equal-opportunity employer, so any of you who espouses one side of the aisle as superior to the other when it comes to these tragedies, do us all a favor stick a sock in it. Okay, now that I have gotten that out of the way, both in 2005 and last week, it was interesting to see and hear the reactions of the gathered vacationers who hailed from Maine to California, Canada to Australia, representing the working class to ruling elite.

50 METRO SPIRIT 7.28.11

Aside from the obvious shock and sadness associated with hearing about such an event, the overwhelming sentiment that became pretty obvious was that no one could believe that in this day and age so many supposedly intelligent adults would gather that many young people in such an isolated place without any real security in place, and no way to get help in a fat hurry if the situation called for it. All of us were gathered in a small Caribbean location with virtually no military or strategic value in the grand scheme of things, yet we had been subjected to more security checks, examinations and scrutiny on the way to the beach than one would have thought possible 10 years ago. After the unspeakable horror of 9/11, even the lowkey Jamaicans understand the importance of armed security in the right places, but the damn Norwegian government somehow missed the memo?

The views expressed are the opinions of Austin Rhodes and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Then word came that one of the first victims of the crazy Scandinavian was a police officer. An unarmed police officer, because, get this, in Norway, they are not allowed to carry sidearms without specific permission from the precinct chief, for a specific cause. Hell, even Andy Taylor had a gun nearby at all times; whether he carried it with him or not wasn’t important. Yes, Barney Fife’s lone bullet was as close as his shirt pocket, and every now and then the good people of Mayberry actually needed him to chamber that thing. Talk about ducks on a pond. Of the assembled group, few believed that there was really a rule prohibiting the cops from routinely carrying guns. Yes, there really is such a rule. The most interesting single comment from the folks on holiday (at least to me), was a self-described liberal from Pennsylvania who said while she would likely have no problem using deadly force in such a situation to save a close friend or relative, she would be hard pressed to do the same for a stranger or someone she did not know well, because, get this, “Who am I to judge?” she meekly asked. (And no, she

was not a French National) And we wonder how the Nazis took over most of Europe without more bloodshed? That mindset right there. “Hey, it is not my family, I better not judge, much less fight back.” May those of such laissez faire attitude be standing between the terrorists and the rest of us the next time such an attack occurs, and you better believe another attack will occur. John Q. Homicidal Terrorist reads the newspapers, and when he sees that one worm with a few guns can bring an entire nation to its knees by easily taking out five dozen of their best and brightest because their parents embrace a Kumbaya philosophy of pacifism at all costs, he is likely going to be loading up his family truckster and heading that way as quick as he can get there. The last thing the Quaker State lefty said before I walked away was, “You see... this attack shows us the world needs more gun laws!” Sadly, the gunmen in these cases always choose to break those laws. Even more sadly, the dead victims always seem to obey them.

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