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JUNE 13-19 VOL. 13/NO. 45 WWW.METSPIRIT.COM

THE METROPOLITAN

TECH WARS: Arts, Issues & Entertainment

The Fight Over Your Digital Rights

Pg. 18

the

VALLEY By Brian Neill

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Contents The Metropolitan Spirit

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Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................4 Words ..............................................................................4 Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down ..........................................4 This Modern World ........................................................4 Suburban Torture ...........................................................6 Letter to the Editor .........................................................7 Austin Rhodes ................................................................8 Insider ...........................................................................10

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Up Close with Mayor Dennis Trudeau ........................11 Augusta-Richmond County: 135 Accidents and Counting ........................................................................12 Model # CG5542

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Arts

AthFest 2002: A Vertible Orgy of Rock ‘n’ Roll ..........22 Whaley's Babies Aren't Your Average Kids ................23 Get Thee to the Georgia Shakespeare Festival .........24

Cinema Movie Listings .............................................................26 Review: “The Bourne Identity” ...................................29 Movie Clock ..................................................................29

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................30

Music

It's FREE! On the Bricks Concert Series in Full Swing .............................................................................34 Music By Turner ............................................................35 Sloppy Seconds Is a Guilty Pleasure ..........................35 Nightlife ........................................................................ 36

Stuff

Food: Famous Dave's ..................................................21 News of the Weird .......................................................38 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology .....................................39 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................39 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................40 Date Maker ...................................................................41 Classifieds ....................................................................43

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Cover Design: Stephanie Carroll Cover Photo: Brian Neill

5-speed, A/C, AM/FM Cass, Cruise & Much More It's FREE! On the Bricks Concert Series In Full Swing..........................34

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner EDITORIAL INTERN Aimee Pavlik CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

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o city department heads get bonus pay based on how much money they save in their departments? City employees have a right to know.

This is a response to the person that says the NAACP is no different from the Ku Klux Klan. I don’t think the NAACP has ever lynched, terrorized or in any other way caused harm to anyone. The Ku Klux Klan are the original terrorist. They still burn

Thumbs Up To local attorney Randy Hall for stepping forward to take on incumbent state Sen. Charles Walker in the upcoming election. Walker has had free reign over his fiefdom for some time now, with little in the way of a serious challenger to his throne in recent years. Ethical questions, some that seem to have merit, have plagued the senator lately and it appears even those in the black community have problems with his heavyhanded approach and apparent selfserving interests.

Thumbs Down The Augusta Chronicle reported that debris from a series of storms that passed through the area five weeks ago is still littering communities throughout Augusta. The reporter, Sylvia Cooper, was unable to get comment from Augusta Public Works Director Teresa Smith on a Friday. However, we have a comment: Why don’t Smith and Deputy Administrator Fred Russell use those precious car allowances of theirs to drive around the county and determine what is the problem?

crosses, burn down black people’s houses, and if they could get away with it, they would still love to hang a black man from a tree. I wonder why Osama bin Laden hates the United States — but there are some white people that hate blacks in the same way that Osama hates America, and neither of their reasons for hating is really justified. Only in there own minds is there justification for this hate. I know some of you will say that there are blacks that hate whites, too, but the hate might be on the same level as those Americans that hate Osama. Remember—Osama drew first blood. Thank God for the police officer who just happened to be issuing parking tickets on Broad Street last Monday. Not only was this car parked illegally, but there were two babies in the back seat, and the windows were rolled all the way up! Do you know how hot it was last Monday? Bravo for the police officer! I will support and vote to re-elect Senator Charles Walker for three reasons: First and foremost because he is a Democrat. Second, because he is a black American and thirdly because racial bigots like Austin Rhodes are against him. You know we just love coming to your yard sales on Saturday mornings but could you please take down your signs when it’s over? On Sunday, it’s litter. Besides, you should hear what we have to say about you when we find your house only to discover we’re a week late! Arrows and a bold address are helpful too, by the way. You must have an agreement with Channel 12 not to print rants about this station. Well, you won’t get any raves with Jay Miller, the supposed sports weekend reader. He’s so busy trying to be cute and grinning, he can’t give a serious commentary for serious sports fan. You haven’t printed my previous rants. The fact is, the boy is bad. Channel 12, get a grownup with some sports knowledge. Please, someone in the city, get our trash picked up. We are beginning to look like a dump; it’s just terrible we’re getting such bad service! The Metro Spirit is our local Fox News. If it wasn’t for all the interesting and important

W O R D S “The people closest to the (state school) superintendent (Linda Schrenko) are clearly hired for their political loyalty far more than for their experience in education and management. My impression of Merle was, he was brought on solely to be a political adviser to the superintendent. I never saw him do anything but hand out awards at meetings.” — Bruce Jackson, a member of the Georgia Board of Education, as quoted in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, referring to local businessman Merle Temple, whom Schrenko named assistant superintendent of education last year. Temple has since stepped down from the job to devote time to his wife, who is ill.

things being printed in The Spirit local folks would miss out on a lot of information that should be used properly. Get my drift? I would just like to say something in reference to the name Black Supremacy Nation. If there were a building with White Supremacy on it, it would surely be shut down, because of course we would be racist. I don’t understand the logic behind this at all. This is a curiosity question that I would love for someone to answer for me. What in the world does Charles Walker Jr. bring to the table as qualifications to run for the U.S. Congress, and why should anyone take his candidacy seriously? Please help me. My congratulations to the Augusta Rotary Club for recognizing what a mistake they made in inviting Austin Rhodes as their speaker, and having the good sense and sensitivity to apologize for it. Rhodes is quick to point out all of the perceived and real faults of others, but fails to see just how much of an arrogant, bigoted, divisive idiot he is in this community. Yes, Charles Walker is (unethical); yes Marion Williams is a loose cannon as a commissioner, and yes Austin Rhodes is an open bigot and closet racist. I think this community

could go a long way toward healing and harmony without the three of them. With the choice of Bob Young, Robin Williams and possibly Ed McIntyre in the mayor's race, we need a candidate the majority of Augustans can support. District 10 Augusta Commissioner Bill Kuhlke would be an excellent mayor. Think about it, Commissioner. So Austin Rhodes says he is smarter than 90 percent of the people in the CSRA? That isn’t bragging; it’s being modest. It should be interesting to see if Billy Morris and The Augusta Chronicle break their unholy “Don’t criticize me and I won’t criticize you” alliance with Senator Charles Walker and his Augusta Focus newspaper now that the Focus has meddled in Chronicle employee relations. Come on, Billy. Tell us how Sen. Walker’s restaurant benefited from a state grant a few years ago. You know, there was that controversial terrorist memo that never got to President George W. Bush. Well, they finally figured out what happened. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shredded them with some Enron documents.


Austin says he’s smarter than 90 percent of the people in the CSRA. How can anybody that’s an airhead make a statement like that? It looks like Barry Paschal was snubbed for Chronicle editor again.

THANK YOU, AUGUSTA! Thanks to the many supporters of the Richmond-Columbia County’s American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. This year’s Relay on May 10-11 was a huge success. We’d like to thank the 80 fantastic teams, our dedicated sponsors (see below), the hardworking committee and the 367 cancer survivors. Together we raised $191,000 to fight this disease.

To the person who complained, “Who cares about the Delaigle House?” Your ignorance is typical of the many mouth-breathing morons I see around the metropolitan area. While the rest of the state and country looks at this town as a lost cause and wasted potential you and your ilk line up like cattle at the Applebee’s and Wal-Mart that now stand on top of what was once a unique and interesting Southern city. Oh well, go ahead: Tear down another piece of history. I suppose we need another Olive Garden. So how come The Spirit always refers to The Augusta Chronicle only as “the daily newspaper” except in cases that place the paper in a negative light? Yeah, (The Spirit) will have the (guts) to actually print this whine or, perish the thought, answer it in print. Say what you want about Brad Owens, but his writings are anything but “garbage.” In fact, it was good to have the truth told about Young’s four years by someone who is not afraid to tell it. What is happening to Fleming’s campaign for the state legislature? Does he think he’s a “shoo-in” without competition? Let’s hope not, for the people of Columbia County and the District deserve better than he demonstrated as a commissioner. Just remember his role with the rain tax, the CEO debacle, and the fiasco associated with the sales tax distribution when election time rolls around. Is Augusta in trouble or what? Walker, Williams and McIntyre in charge of the city/county would constitute a major disaster to growth, taxes and image. Let’s not go there! To the whiner complaining that Robin Williams is an opportunist who represents only a few at the expense of others: Where are you getting your facts? This is just typical election-year nonsense. A few years ago, I contacted Mr. Williams because I needed some help with an ongoing personal issue. He and his staff did all they could to assist me and the problem was solved within a few days. I didn’t live in his district so it isn’t like he was doing himself a big favor hoping to get my vote. Stop with the playground name-calling and stick with comments you can actually back up. I feel that Robin Williams is truly the best candidate we’re going to have running for mayor of Augusta-Richmond County, as he is the only candidate who has the political skills and the business know-how to build the bridges between the factions of this community and our government that will help move the county forward as it has been stagnant for quite a while now. Austin Rhodes you are not smarter than 90 percent of the population here. If you used your big words and your vocabulary properly instead of like a jackhammer, I could take your show seriously. As it is when I listen I find myself correcting your poor grammar and misuse of words almost constantly. Get out your thesaurus and study up! continued on page 6

Together We Can Make a Difference! Sponsors of the 2002 American Cancer Society Relay For Life Are:

AUGUSTA ONCOLOGY ASSOCIATES For the care of Cancer & Malignant Diseases

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To Tom Tomorrow, who is still mourning the Bush victory: Get over it and enjoy having honorable people in the White House. In your latest cartoon you really give Dick Chaney way too much credit. As long as slick Willie is alive, Dick will never be able to get that “Master of Misdirection” (title) from him.

Suburban Torture by Julie Larson

Channel 4

Andrew Jefferson

Augusta-Richmond Co. School Board President and former mayoral candidate

“Augusta Skiltz” Basketball Team

To the writer who is hanging his head in shame because they say their flag on Memorial Day has lost its luster. Do you not realize that people all over the world can barbecue in their backyard, that is not an American right, but a human right? Around the world most people have same kinds of freedom we do. You’re misguided and ignorant.

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To all you whiners writing in about Austin Rhodes (pro or con): Haven’t you realized yet? Austin feeds off of all your comments! I have personally seen him with a Spirit in hand, salivating over the whines about him. His ego is inflated each and every time someone writes about him. So let’s burst his balloon (ego) and stop writing whines about him and maybe he’ll come down to earth and join the rest of the human race. (Yes, I know that would be a stretch for him.) — Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com

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Letter to the Editor

Reader Slams Hightower and The Spirit Dear Sir/Madam: The Metro Spirit's running of articles by liberals is understandable in that it has to be different from the conservative Chronicle. But in reading Jim Hightower's attack on Wal-Mart (May 9), he sounded anti-free enterprise and communist. And I found out he is. And the story itself was virtually no facts, all generalities (“Wal-Mart and the Waltons got to the top the old-fashioned way—by roughing people up”) without saying who and when. And The Metro Spirit ran this nonsense as a legitimate and large story. He also didn't tell us which free-enterprise stores he did like. Is he a Kmart man? Coy Jim didn't say. I went to the ‘net (as I encourage others to do), and found a Web site called and clicked on “activist calendar.” On that page, under the 2nd of some 75 entries, it said: “Nationwide, March 23-June 15, Rolling Thunder Down-Home Democracy Tour. Featuring Jim Hightower, Rep. (sic) Jessie Jackson,” etc. Under that paragraph, I clicked on “more info,” and at the very top was a quote from Jim Hightower himself: “For too long progressives have walked fearful of their shad-

ows, whimpering and whining about what's wrong ... It's time to sing and work and build a new community.” What the above term “progressive” means is progressive socialism. At the top of the above socialist Web site, it ways, “Socialist Worker Newspaper of the ISO (Internationalist Socialist Organization.)” Just below that, it says, “Internationalist Socialist Review, the Journal of Revolutionary Marxism.” On Sept. 25, 1997, you ran a column by Jim Hightower in which he discussed his fellow super-liberal (communist) Bill Clinton taking illegal campaign contributions from the Chinese Communists. He wrote: “Our political...systems are putrid not with Chinese contributions but with corporate money....” So, neither the Communists nor Bill Clinton were the problem; the problem was free enterprise and the democracy that supports it. Anyone can see through Hightower's recurring theme. Is The Metro Spirit claiming ignorance, or are they a fellow traveler? You have an obligation to inform your readers who these characters are. Tom Hunter

THE RAVEN'S HOARD JEWELRY GALLERY

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HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to All Fathers of the Newly Created 12th Congressional District and Special Thanks To My Dad Joe Scott, Jr.

• For being a Godly parent, instilling in me faith and belief that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. • Thank you for showing me love that has made it easier to me to love others. • Thank you for showing me discipline because it has given me principles to live by. • Thanks for your sacrificial love that enables me to give more freely and unconditionally to others. • By being an educator, you’ve shown me that learning is a continual process; by being a public servant has instilled in me to give back to my community by helping others. • Thank you for showing me work ethics because I am ready to work tirelessly for the people of the 12th Congressional District.

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Opinion: Austin Rhodes

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Opinions Vary on Mom Who Baked Baby Case of Baby in Van Divides Augusta Half of you want Heidi Dodd thrown in a king-sized EZ Bake Oven. Half of you want compassion for the woman who obviously “made a mistake.” One thing is clear: There are few who offer no opinion in the case of the North Augusta woman who left her 11-month-old baby locked in a parked van while she shopped at a local arts and crafts store. Listeners to my radio show heard the drama play out live Tuesday, June 4th. “Edna” called to describe the scene as bystanders broke out the window of a Plymouth Voyager and freed the child, as the summer sun was steadily turning the vehicle into a multi-passenger slow-cooker. Edna told us how, after more than 10 minutes of waiting and hearing the baby yelp in the hot van, a Good Samaritan took it upon himself to liberate the suffering infant, and how the hero injured himself in the process. She reported the child had been taken into a nearby grocery store to cool off, while the gathered rescuers waited for the police to arrive. She also told of the defiant mother who was finally located, and who then protested loudly to all who looked on. First, she complained about her van, then, she went looking for her infant. As she was hauled off by the cops, Heidi Dodd was not reciting Scripture. I will be the first to admit, when I first heard Edna’s account, I had this woman already pictured in my head: A trailer-trash Mom with eight kids, four cats, six dogs, and a Hank Williams Jr. cassette in the tape player. She probably weighed 300 pounds, chain smoked Marlboros, and was wearing a floral pattern muumuu. She had gone in the arts and crafts store to get a wall rack for her collectable beer cans. Or possibly: A crackhead wastoid with five kids and two really nasty pit bulls. She probably weighed 89 pounds and carried both of her hair picks in her hair all the time. She was wearing a counterfeit Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt and her state-of-the-art car stereo still had the “Journey’s Greatest Hits” CD that was in it the night her brother stole it for her. She had gone in the arts and crafts store because she heard you can make great doobies with parchment paper.

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I was wrong. Heidi Dodd is an attractive middleclass housewife, who is known by her friends and family as a good mother and a solid citizen.

I heard from about a dozen of her friends and fellow church members, some of whom I have known for years, verifying Heidi’s background and exemplary track record as a wife and homemaker. So what the hell was she thinking the afternoon of June the 4th? Had my stereotyped images been accurate, at least there would have been sociological and educational explanations as to how such an incident may have occurred. Now that Heidi’s intellect and personal character have been accurately related, there is little intelligent explanation for her dangerous choices on that hot summer day. She claims she didn’t want to wake the baby. Heat considerations aside, who would leave an 11-month-old baby alone in a parked car? What possible justifications can rational people make, particularly rational people who have outstanding reputations, for such reckless behavior? My logical condemnations flew like arrows, and rightfully so. Many of you didn’t agree, including my own wife and my mother, who both said I was being too hard on Heidi. Mom said had I made my point in five minutes, and then I should have shut up. Great, Mom, except that I have a three-hour show. My wife said I was beating up on Heidi. I pointed out that if I had pulled the same stunt with our son Corey, she would have personally exacted punishment on me that would make Lorena Bobbitt queasy. She didn’t disagree. Public sentiment remains divided on a possible punishment for the wayward mom. I have repeatedly told her defenders that the one thing Heidi Dodd should do, legal case against her be damned, is to make a public statement acknowledging her ridiculously careless behavior. She also needs to thank the people who rescued her baby. We will never know how close that child came to death, and she will never know how close she came to going to jail for homicide. The case has been sent to Solicitor Sheryl Jolley for prosecution. Heidi Dodd has officially been charged with one count of deprivation of a child, a misdemeanor. The city will be watching to see how the scales of justice tip in this case.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.


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Opinion: Insider

Political Notes

I

t's put up or shut up time for all those candidates who have been talking about running for office in a Georgia Democratic or Republican primary in August. Qualifying begins at 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday, June 19, and continues through Friday, June 21, at 12 noon. The primary elections are slated for Aug. 20. Winners of the primaries will face off in November. Those candidates without primary opposition will begin honing their skills for their autumn opponents. Keep an eye on these primary battles: • Columbia County native and state school board superintendent Linda Schrenko will face former state Sen. Sonny Perdue and Cobb County's Bill Byrne to find out which Republican (GOP) candidate will be slaughtered at the altar of Georgia Governor Roy Barnes, a Democrat. The election features a lackluster former Democrat, Perdue, against an under-funded but fiery Schrenko, and an Atlanta vote-getter, Byrne. The good ol’ boys in the GOP favor Perdue and have done everything in their power to block Schrenko and dismiss Byrne. Look for Byrne to begin lobbing hand grenades at Perdue the moment the bell sounds for action. Actually, Byrne has been bashing Perdue at every turn. Insiders report that Schrenko and Byrne have made a pact. If Schrenko ends up in a runoff with Perdue, Byrne will endorse Schrenko, and vice-versa. • The new 12th U.S. Congressional District will showcase a Democratic and Republican primary election. Augustans who will compete as Democrats include state Rep. Ben Allen, Charles Walker Jr., Merwyn Scott and Chuck Pardue. Lincoln County native Denise Freeman is rumored to be looking at the race, along with Tony Center from Savannah and Robert Finch from Athens. As The Insider predicted weeks ago, Savannah Mayor Floyd Adams dropped out of the race because he couldn't raise any money. The district was drawn by Democrats for a Democrat, resulting in the crowded field. Republicans are hopeful that the Democrats may have outsmarted themselves on this one. While Democrat state legislators drew the district to protect their own, a white Democrat would have a better chance against a strong Republican in the general election. The Democratic primary will likely produce a black candidate. Consequently, Republicans think they have a good chance to take the seat. The GOP primary will include Waynesboro native Woodrow Lovett, Barbara Dooley, an Athens radio talk show host and the wife of former University of Georgia football coach Vince Dooley, and Max Burns, a Georgia Southern University professor and Screven County resident.

• Local attorneys David Bell and Robert (Bo) Hunter III will vie for the 96th Statehouse seat held by retiring state Rep. Jack Connell. This Democratic primary race will feature candidates with completely different personalities and styles as they battle for the hearts and minds of "Hill People," African Americans, and West Augustans who comprise the district. The winner will face Republican state Rep. Sue Burmeister in the general election. • Former Richmond County School Board member Mary Oglesby will challenge state Rep. George DeLoach in the District 99 Republican contest. The winner will likely face a Democrat in the fall election. The question is: Who? Two years ago, Democrat Tom Atkins put up a good fight against DeLoach. Insiders report that he works for the county now and has said he will not run. The district is designed more favorably than ever for a Democratic victory in November so Democrats are actively seeking a candidate. • Augusta Civic Center Authority member Quincy Murphy says he will qualify to run in the Democratic Primary for the 97th District Statehouse seat being vacated by state Rep. Ben Allen who will run for U.S. Congress. Insiders speculate that chief assistant Solicitor Harold Jones may qualify to run against Murphy. The winner will face Republican Otis Smith, who will announce his intentions to seek the 97th seat on the day this column is published. • Ethically challenged state Senator Charles Walker (D-22) will face Republican challenger Randy Hall in November. This is Hall's first time out as a candidate. The local attorney is running at the urging of anti-Walker Republicans and it remains to be seen how he will do on the campaign trail. Republicans will enjoy throwing gasoline on the fire surrounding Walker's ethics troubles and have vowed to raise big bucks to run against Walker. Hall has an uphill battle. More later. • State Rep. Henry Howard (D-98) will face perennial candidate and perennial loser Davida Johnson in November. Johnson will carry the Republican banner, raise no money and lose overwhelmingly to Howard. • Voters are apathetic at this time. While the qualifying deadline is next week, don't expect much political noise until after the July 4th holiday.

—The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.


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M E T R O

With Mayor Dennis Trudeau

S P I R I T

BY AIMEE PAVLIK

J U N E 1 3

“N

o” is no longer a word in Grovetown Mayor Dennis Trudeau’s vocabulary. This mayor firmly believes that making something happen is just a matter of putting forth some effort. “It all boils down to helping individuals out,” Trudeau says. “People come to my office with hardship cases and they’ve sort of reached the end of their rope and don’t know where to go. Somehow, we can find someone to help them.” For Trudeau, who never imagined himself running for a political office, this interest in helping others has always been a priority and is the reason he became involved in politics in the first place. “Back in 1986 and 1987, the city was going through a bunch of turmoil, and we had the stigma of being called ‘recall city’ in the state of Georgia, as many of our members of council and mayor were having trouble with being recalled,” Trudeau says. “Nothing was getting done and the city was going backward instead of forward. I thought I could offer a little tranquility to the city and move it forward with the help of some good council members.” Trudeau has spent the majority of his life working for the government, beginning in 1942 when he joined the Canadian Army and fought in World War II. After returning from the war, Trudeau says that he joined the U.S. Army and eventually came to Grovetown in 1956 while stationed at Fort Gordon. “While I was in the army I didn’t really pick up on the ongoings of the city,” Trudeau says. “We didn’t pay too much attention because you are usually in this position for two to three years and then you move, but fortunately I stayed here at Fort Gordon for several years and got to know the city.”

Trudeau says that it was actually his wife, Maryann, who was responsible for getting him into office and adds that she has always possessed a positive attitude, regardless of what has happened. Over the years, the sheer size of his family — which includes nine children,

14 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren — has provided Trudeau with more than enough support. “It’s very interesting on holidays,” he says. “When they all come in for Christmas dinner it’s like a battalion of troops coming in.”

Lunch

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For this mayor who has managed to stay in office since 1988, Trudeau says that the people of Grovetown realize he is working to improve the town and believes that this is one reason for his continued re-election. As mayor, Trudeau is most proud of some of the initial changes that he made upon arriving in office, such as replacing sidewalks, paving roads and adding streetlights to improve the security of the town. Another point of pride for Trudeau is the completion of a middle school that should be open in 2003. “I’ve been working on getting a middle school here since the very beginning,” he says. Trudeau is also content with the increase in both businesses and people moving to Grovetown, and says that once businesses moved to the town, people came as well. Since becoming mayor, he has watched the population of the city rise from around 2,000 to roughly 7,500. He also admits that over the years it has been fun to get to know U.S. Sens. Charlie Norwood, Max Cleland, and Zell Miller, as well as the governor. And another perk of being in office for so long is the fact that Trudeau has had the chance to see the final product of many of the projects he has worked on over the years. But when his current term ends in 2003, Trudeau says that his time as mayor will be through. In retirement, Trudeau says that he will be getting lots of exercise by playing golf – which is what he says he’d be doing if he weren’t mayor – and of course helping people out for as long as he is able to. “I think I’m seeing the sunset,” Trudeau says. “I’m 77 years old and have a lot of places to visit still.”

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MetroBeat Augusta-Richmond County: 135 Accidents and Counting

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or some employees of Augusta-Richmond County, it sounds like it’s about time for a refresher course in driver’s ed. On Jan. 25, a city vehicle driven by an employee of the district attorney’s office rear-ended a private vehicle on Bobby Jones Expressway. The force of the initial collision caused a third vehicle to get hit from behind. For Richmond County taxpayers, the total cost of the wreck was $3,480. A few weeks later, on Feb. 11, a city fire truck struck a private car while attempting to turn left on Milledgeville Road. This accident cost taxpayers $8,565. On March 21, a sheriff’s patrol car backed into a private vehicle on Wimbledon Drive at a cost of $1,645. It’s not even halfway through the year yet and according to the city’s risk management department, there has already been a total of 135 accidents involving Augusta-Richmond County vehicles in 2002. So far, the cost of these accidents have only amounted to about $41,500 in damages, but if this year is anything like previous years, Augustans had better brace themselves. “In 1997, we had 414 accidents involving city vehicles at a cost of $776,000,” said Deputy Administrator Fred Russell. “In 1998, we had 369 accidents at a cost of $382,000. In 1999, there were 416 accidents at a cost of $470,000. And in 2000, we had a low year of 390 accidents at a cost of $288,669. However, in 2001, we were back up again.” Last year, there were 459 accidents in Richmond County involving city vehicles. The total cost to taxpayers was approximately $285,100. During the Augusta Commission’s public safety committee meeting on June 10, Russell said the city’s 2001 accident numbers weren’t all bad. “While the number of accidents have stayed fairly steady, the cost seems to be going down,” he said. Of the 18 city department-issued vehicles, the sheriff’s department, with 238 incidents, was responsible for more than half of the 459 accidents in 2001. The sheriff’s department had a total cost of $146,267 in damages. Not all of the accidents are the city employees’ fault and much of the damage to the sheriff’s vehicles occurred while in pursuit of crime suspects, but other accidents occurred simply because of carelessness.

“I see, what I would consider, accidents involving people following too close, rear-ending private vehicles and hitting things when making turns. This is somebody that’s not paying attention to what they are doing.” – Augusta Commissioner Andy Cheek For example, on Aug. 15, 2001, an unknown person jumped into a sheriff’s vehicle while it was unattended on Henderson Road and caused $1,662 in damages. Also, on Oct. 23, 2001, a sheriff’s

patrol car backed into a pole on Baker Avenue, costing the city $1,485. But the sheriff’s department isn’t the only agency in the city having problems driving. The second-highest department in

BY STACEY EIDSON

terms of accidents in 2001 was the transit department with a total of 43 wrecks costing taxpayers $25,805. In one incident on Aug. 26, 2001, a temporary employee misjudged a clearance at Red Lobster on Walton Way and ended up causing more than $6,000 worth of damages. Third on risk management’s accident list was a section of roads and bridges in public works that had a total of 29 accidents, including one accident in which a city dump truck made an improper right turn, swung wide and caused $8,366 in damages. In total, this section of public works cost Richmond County $27,117, which is about $2,000 more than the transit department in 2001. For Commissioner Marion Williams, some of the accidents made by city employees were inexcusable. “There are some things that are unavoidable, but a lot of these things are just negligence on our part, whether it be our sheriff’s department or our animal control, whoever,” Williams said. “The (cost) figures are going down but the number of accidents is still the same. “What is being done to curtail this? What are we doing with an employee that is found negligent in an automobile or any equipment as far as the city is concerned?” Sandy Wright, the city’s risk-management manager, said that if an employee is found to be at fault in an accident, they are fined and given points against their city driving record. “Currently, the policy only allows a limit of $500 to be accessed against an employee for an at-fault accident ... regardless of the amount of damages,” Wright said. “It would be up to this committee to change that figure, to raise it.” Also, the points assessed against an employee’s driving record do not have anything to do with that individual’s driver’s license, Wright said. “They are generally assessed four points if it is an at-fault accident or clearly their fault, meaning there were no mitigating circumstances and there was no emergency response involved,” Wright said. “So, if they just rear-end somebody’s vehicle, it’s four points against them.” Wright said when an employee reaches between 10 and 14 points within a three-year period, the department head reviews that individual’s driving privilege.


Williams found it baffling that the city would allow an employee that has gotten into at least three wrecks in three years to potentially still be on the road. “Let me get this straight. You are saying, if a person in this government is found negligent in operating a vehicle, he is only responsible to pay $500?” Williams asked. “That means they are not put on any driving restrictions. They are still able to get another car?” Wright said, just as long as the employee has under 10 points, he or she would generally be allowed back on the streets. Commissioner Andy Cheek said that the number of city employees involved in accidents clearly demonstrated a need in the government to reinforce the use of safety precautions while driving city vehicles. “Out of 459 accidents in 2001, and considering the 2,700 employees that we have, that’s one in seven employees involved in an accident during the course of a year,” Cheek said. “We have a lot of accidents involving city vehicles backing into things. That is something that’s easily solved if people would check and look where they are going. “Do we mandate that they check where they are going? I see, what I would consider, accidents involving people following too close, rear-ending private vehicles and hitting things when making turns. This is somebody that’s not paying attention to what they are doing.” Commissioner Willie Mays noticed that there were several items on risk management’s report that listed accidents having no cost. “Are those cases where there may be a bill pending or are those where there is actually no cost?” Mays asked. Wright explained in some instances the zeros represent pending claims, while in some cases, the accident resulted in no damages to a city vehicle or private property. However, some of those zeros mean that the city’s price tag is most likely going to go up, Cheek said. “We had an off-duty police officer that hit someone. He was rubber-necking essentially, and the cost I heard to date was $42,000. I didn’t see those numbers

reflected here,” Cheek said. Wright said that case has not yet been settled. The committee accepted risk management’s report and unanimously voted to review the penalties for employees involved in an accident with city vehicles. While the number of accidents in 2001 may sound bad, Wright said that risk management has compared Augusta’s numbers to other counties its size in the past. “And the last time that we looked, we were doing

fairly well in comparison to other municipalities our size,” Wright said. Russell told the commissioners that they must put all the facts and figures into perspective. “Just for your information, in 2001, we drove approximately 13,000,796 miles in 1,028 vehicles,” Russell said, explaining that includes vans, cars, motorcycles and trucks. “We are on the road a lot. And I’d say we are making a lot of mistakes that could be avoided.”

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“Do you think you can have chickens in your back yard in Aiken? Do you think you can have a dog running through the street, or have a garden? I mean there’s just so many things that people in your large cities have been deprived of. Kids have never seen a chicken lay an egg.” — Phil Napier, resident of Graniteville, a community in the Valley.

VALLEY By Brian Neill

LaWana McKenzie remembers the name fans of opposing teams would shout at her and her fellow classmates at high school basketball games. “Lint heads.” It stung. But not nearly as much as a comment made years later by a colleague of McKenzie’s at her first teaching job at Aiken Elementary School. “I was in the teachers’ lounge one day, and another teacher came in,” McKenzie recalls. “And she said that she had been in Rose’s department store and someone came in with flip-flops and curlers in their hair, and she said, ‘You know, one of those Valley people.’” What the teacher didn’t realize was that McKenzie grew up in the community of former textile mill towns now known as Horse Creek or Midland Valley. In fact, her mother had worked hard in those mills and McKenzie had been able to afford her education through a scholarship started by a magnanimous mill owner. “And so, I didn’t say it in front of anybody, but later on I went up to her room and said I didn’t appreciate her comments,” McKenzie remembers. “And she asked, ‘What comments?’ I mean it was so common, it didn’t even stick out in her mind. And as a matter of fact, she had requested her child to be in my classroom. “Here she had this stereotype and here she is asking me to be the teacher of her most prized possession. And so we sat down and had a very long talk about it that day, and I said, ‘Do you know people from the Valley?’” Now principal of Jefferson Elementary School and vice-chair of the Aiken County Council, McKenzie says she still has to

have that conversation from time to time. “Serving on county council, I’ve had other council members to make the comment, if a rowdy crowd came in and they didn’t know why they were there, they’ll say, ‘They must be from the Valley,’” McKenzie said. “And a lot of times, that group would be from Aiken, or North Augusta, or Salley, or anywhere else. But it’s almost like, immediately, ‘They’re from the Valley.’” As far back as when the wealthy winter colonists first began descending on Aiken to escape the Northern cold, the people of the Valley — a series of towns with names like Bath, Clearwater, Langley, Graniteville, Vaucluse and Warrenville that line the Aiken-Augusta Highway and State Highway 421 — have been viewed as the roughneck, working class. That reputation was solidified by fictional accounts of the area such as that by famed Southern novelist Erskine Caldwell, who gave this depiction of the Valley through the eyes of an outsider in his 1933 novel “God’s Little Acre,’ which was later made into a movie: Up and down the Valley lay the company towns and the ivy-walled cotton mills and the firm-bodied girls with eyes like morning-glories and the men stood on the hot streets looking at each other while they spat their lungs into the deep yellow dust of Carolina. He knew he could never get away from the blue-lighted mills at night and the company towns. Nothing could drag him away from there now. He might go away and stay a while, but he would be restless and unhappy until he could return. He had to stay there and help his friends find some means of living. The mill streets could not exist without him; he had to stay there and walk on them and watch the sun set on the mill at night and rise on it in the morning. In the mill streets of the Valley towns the breasts of girls were firm and erect. The cloth they wove under the blue lights clothed their bodies, but beneath the covering the motions of erect breasts were like the quick movements of hands in unrest. In the Valley towns beauty was begging, and the hunger of strong men was like the whimpering of beaten women. In some people’s minds, that stereotype lives on and seems perpetuated by the deteriorating buildings and crusty beer joints that line Highway 421, in a preponder-


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Phil Napier (left) and Ronnie Eubanks have spent their whole lives in Graniteville. The

ance of Confederate flags, old pickup trucks and men sporting ball caps and blue work shirts. But talk to some of the residents of the Valley, and one quickly finds that they are a proud people who embrace, rather than shun, their mill town heritage. “All of our lives, if you’ve lived here, are related back to the textile mills,” McKenzie said. “All of us, whether you’ve worked in them or not, you’ve either made your living from people who worked there or the economy was based on them. And what some people don’t realize is, back before Aiken and North Augusta had industry, textile plants were what carried this county — totally funded this county.” As an educator, McKenzie is especially thankful for William Gregg, who founded the Graniteville Manufacturing Company in the 1830s and insisted that his mill workers educate their children. “William Gregg emphasized education and started some of the first schools and required employees to send their children to school and even provided some transportation,” McKenzie said. “Whereas, (now defunct) United Merchants, which was located out of New York, actually encouraged people to quit school. Because they would say, ‘Well, you can come sweep in the cotton mill and earn a salary.’ And it was a number of years that the people in this area tried to get United Merchants to have a policy that you had to continue school. And they (United Merchants) didn’t do that because, in truth, they didn’t have the interest William Gregg did. “They were from New York and we were just a means to an end for them to make a profit for the company.” Of course, even well-meaning mill owners like Gregg didn’t see at the time the health threats inherent in mill work. McKenzie said it is common to see older residents of the Valley toting oxygen, after years of breathing in mill dust

ravaged their lungs. “The mills themselves did not have good working conditions and a lot of the people have health problems due to that right now,” McKenzie said. “They have brown lung and all sorts of breathing conditions. You see a lot of people on oxygen and all in these areas.” McKenzie’s own mother, in fact, developed bronchitis after working for years as a weaver at the Graniteville Company’s Warren Division, and now has to use an inhaler and a nebulizer in order to breathe properly. “She worked in the Warren Division up there and they rolled denim, which was just a real popular material, especially back in the ’60s,” McKenzie recalled. “And she would come out and literally have clots of it in her ears that got caught up in the ear wax and up their noses and their eyelashes and their eyebrows. I mean they were covered in blue lint. And you noticed that more. People that used to work in the cotton mills, of course, would be covered in white lint.” Modern mills in the Valley, like the ones currently operated by Avondale, employ new technology that removes much of the particulate matter from the air, and also require that workers wear masks and safety gear, McKenzie said. “WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET” Like the webs of cotton and denim that have flowed from the factory looms over the years, a certain social fabric seems to link the people of the Valley in kinship and common thought. Many, for example, respond to notions of “growth” and “change” as if they were dirty words. The Valley, McKenzie says, is a place where people don’t put on airs, and they also don’t apologize for their hard-work ethic. “You have people that live here that have continued on page 16

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in some other places,” McKenzie said. “But what you see is what you get with people here and they’re willing to help you. There’s still the neighbor feeling in our area. You know most people, and if you don’t know them personally, you know their families. There are a lot of ties that go back. And they are just good-hearted people and they appreciate what they have. They just don’t think they are better than other people but they don’t think other people are better than we are, either.” Most afternoons find Phil Napier holding court in his Napier Hardware store, located across from the Avondale Gregg Finishing Plant in Graniteville, which the Avondale company touts as being the largest textile finishing plant in the world. Townspeople trickle in and out of Napier’s store, stopping to discuss the news of the day, as a police and fire scanner drones from behind the register. In addition to owning the hardware store, Napier is chief of the Graniteville-VaucluseWarrenville Fire Department and also serves on Aiken County Council. Napier’s father worked for the textile mills, as did his grandfather. “My father went to work in the mill when he was, oh goodness, probably 14 years old, and he retired (from the mill),” Napier said. “He graduated from high school, but he still worked on the mill. He was over the billing department in the main office. “And my grandfather worked in the mill. He worked in Hickman Mill. I don’t know what department he worked in, but he operated the elevator for years, up till he retired.” Napier looks back fondly on his days growing up in Graniteville, fishing in the canals surrounding the mills, which over the years have used the water for steam and the dyeing process, and enjoying the close-knit ties that small-town life affords. He scoffs at the notion of living in a big city, and even thinks of Aiken as suffering, at times, from too much progress. “Do you think you can have chickens in your back yard in Aiken?” Napier asks. “Do you think you can have a dog running through the street, or have a garden? I mean there’s just so many things that people in your large cities have been deprived of. “Kids have never seen a chicken lay an egg.” Napier said he’s heard the stereotypes laid on the people of the Valley, but doesn’t put much stock in them. “In the past they have (derided Valley residents),” Napier said. “But I would like to tell you that out of three students that just graduated from USC-Aiken college with a 4.0 average, one was an exchange student

from Slovakia, and the other two were Valley girls from District 3, from the Valley area. One was my wife and the other one was my daughter. “So they used to think people from the Valley were stupid, but that’s not the case.” A RENEWED PRIDE Prior to the 1996 Summer Olympics, the sound of buzzing chainsaws and small-boat motors echoed through the parts of the Valley surrounding Langley Pond. Crews of volunteers labored for days and weeks to remove tree stumps from the partially drained, man-made pond, which holds the world’s record for its size, being, technically, just inches short of a lake. Langley pond was originally created to serve the mills, but now it was being prepared to accommodate rowing teams training for the Olympics. The waterway later became the home practice location for the U.S. Rowing Team and has gained a reputation as one of the premier rowing sites in the Southeast. Only a few years before the Langley Pond clearing began, in 1993, members of the Greater Aiken Chamber of Commerce broke off and formed a free-standing chamber representing the citizens of the Valley. Not long after, a new sign was erected at the point where the Aiken-Augusta Highway enters the Valley from North Augusta. The sign, still there, though faded, reads: “Welcome to the Midland Valley Area. Growing Together with Pride.” Midland Valley was a name arrived at after local high schools Langley-Bath-Clearwater and Leavelle-McCampbell, whose athletic teams harbored fierce rivalries, consolidated into one school in 1980. Old-timers, however, still refer to the area as the Horse Creek Valley, for the canal that flows from Vaucluse down through Clearwater and to the Savannah River. Gloria Busch Johnson, executive director of the Midland Valley Chamber of Commerce, has seen many changes come to the area in the 10 years since her organization decided to stand on its own. “I’ve seen a renewed pride in the Valley,” Johnson said in her office, a refurbished garage off the Aiken-Augusta Highway that was provided at low cost by the owners of Bobby’s Bar-B-Que, a mecca for local civic meetings, not to mention decent pork barbecue and hush puppies. “People underestimate the people of The Valley. “In the past, people have kind of looked down on the Valley,” Johnson added. “But if you look at the athletics, you look at the (school) athletic teams, you look at all of the indicators of a healthy place, we have

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those here. But it’s very hard sometimes to shake an image that people have. We’re no longer the mill town as people knew it 40 years ago.” Johnson said Langley Pond has been a boon to the area. Although the body of water had been heavily polluted in the years following heavy mill use, it has gradually been developed into a place for boating, water-scooter riding and public swimming. The pollutants from the past, however, have still kept it off-limits for consuming fish. There is also the Midland Valley Country Club, a golf course that Johnson feels can hold its own against nearly any other course in the region. “We just say, ‘Look at us. Look at what

we’re doing,’” Johnson said. “We have one of the finest golf courses in the area. In fact, our chamber is involved in a celebrity golf tournament ... and the celebrities (like former Rams quarterback and 1969 NFL MVP Roman Gabriel and baseball Hall of Famer Phil Niekro) who come say it is one of the finest courses that they have to play on.” Still, Johnson and others acknowledge that certain parts of the Valley could use some sprucing up. Throughout the Valley, code enforcement is mostly non-existent, which accounts for many of the ramshackle homes and rundown businesses that line Highway 421. The front of a TV repair shop near Warrenville is strewn with the carcasses of

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ancient television sets. A faded mural on the side of a barbecue restaurant near Langley that went out of business depicts large cartoons of pigs dressed as humans. A historic shortage of manpower on the part of the Aiken County Sheriff’s Office also has made for little police presence in the Valley, with the exception of Burnettown, which is the only incorporated town within the Valley area. Burnettown has a police force of six officers. Even so, the problem of crime seems exaggerated for the Valley, said McKenzie, who noted that the population of the Valley roughly matches that of a fair-sized city. There are about 120,000 people in the Aiken County Council district McKenzie represents, which includes the majority of the Langley-Bath-Clearwater area and sections of Beech Island. Roughly 250,000 people live in Aiken County, with about 25,000 living in the city of Aiken, itself. Ronnie Eubanks, who worked as an Aiken County Sheriff’s deputy under Sheriff Carol Heath roughly a decade ago, was responsible for covering the Valley area. “You’d occasionally run into problems in the Valley,” said Eubanks, who worked in a Graniteville Company mill in high school and now works for Castleberry foods in Augusta. “But the majority of the people were just decent, hard-working people.” Clarence Young agrees. Sitting in front of his Highway 421 business, “Pop’s Place,” which has all the appearances of a miniature flea market, Young told of how he came to the area from Tennessee in 1951 to work as a carpenter and welder at Dupont, now the Savannah River Site. Anywhere else, a storefront like this — with piles of old clothing, lamps, toasters, you name it — would be considered a nuisance. Here, however, it seems the norm. Young apologizes for the mammoth wad of chewing tobacco in his mouth, saying it’s

his only vice left. At 83, Young has long since given up smoking and drinking. He’s had nine hip surgeries since 1993, but on this hot afternoon, he leaps off the chair in which he’s been guarding his assortment of everything but the kitchen sink to demonstrate his toe-touching abilities. After promises of a career with Dupont didn’t pan out, Young said he made a living at various trades, including a business he owned near where Taylor Toyota is now located, making concrete fountains and lawn ornaments. Young said the people of the Valley are no rougher than anyone else. “I like the people. I like the community,” Young said. “I’ve met some rough-heads, a few. But as a rule, they’re good-natured people. Do anything to help you.” Moments after he says this, a woman approaches his chair with a sack full of free zucchini and the two converse briefly about the storms the night before. Asked why Young decided to stay in the Valley, he replies, “Right before I came down here (from Tennessee) it started raining and froze over, three or four inches high. It started snowing — three or four inches of snow. It started back raining, three or four inches high. As it got to 16 inches deep, it went to 16 below zero and didn’t move for three weeks. “Compared to that up there, I go around in a shirttail down here and I like it. “I love it.” UNITY VERSUS IDENTITY Most in the Valley would agree they would stand to gain more in terms of grants for projects, as well as corporate-sponsored improvements, if the string of communities became centralized under one incorporated roof. Getting agreement on how that should

come about, however, is a different matter. Thus far, Burnettown is the only city in the Valley that has incorporated. That occurred in 1941 at the prompting of taxi companies servicing the mills. The taxi companies needed an incorporated base in order to receive operating licenses. In recent years, Burnettown has embarked on an impressive annexation campaign. The last census put Burnettown at No. 1 in South Carolina in terms of population growth between 1990 and 2000. Burnettown Mayor Wayne Benson, citing Census data, said the town’s population grew 452 percent between those years, from about 200 people in 1990 to nearly 3,000 current residents. Many of those residents who have asked to be added to the Burnettown tax rolls over the years have done so for the added police protection and amenities that living in the city affords. Contrary to what some might believe, annexing has to be sought by citizens and city officials are prevented by law from going into the community to solicit it. “What we do is, if someone wants to come inside the city limits they show up and then ask to be annexed in at a town meeting,” Benson, 38, said. “And then we get all the paperwork ready for them and they take it from there. “We’ve grown a tremendous amount from annexing and stuff. We don’t go out here and try to ask people to do it.” If they did, they’d find many not so keen on the idea. Residents at the eastern end of the Valley, in the communities of Graniteville, Vaucluse and Warrenville, feel they have as strong a case as anyone for their own incorporation. Since 1997, the town of Graniteville has seen two major corporations — the Bridgestone tire company and SKF, a bearing manufacturer that services the

“All of our lives, if you’ve lived here, are related back to the textile mills. All of us, whether you’ve worked in them or not, you’ve either made your living from people who worked there or the economy was based on them.” — LaWana McKenzie, a lifelong resident of the Valley.

automotive industry — set up manufacturing plants in its backyard. The G-V-W area, as it is called, also has its own fire protection and water and sewer services. Some see the already incorporated Burnettown as a rational solution to achieving a unified Valley through extended annexation. But even in the smallest of Valley towns, identity is not something residents are willing to give up. Or as Napier says, “I’m from Graniteville. I was born in Graniteville, I was raised in Graniteville and when I die I want to be buried in Graniteville. “Why should we, our community, jump on a bandwagon that we already own the wheels on?” Benson hears that argument all of the time. “You have your resistance, but you also have the people that are for it, too,” Benson said. “My point of view is, I don’t want anybody (annexed in) that don’t want to be.” “I think it’s more or less that they’re (residents of surrounding towns) scared you’re taking away their identity,” Benson added. “What I tell people is, Bath is always going to be Bath, even if it’s inside the city limits of Burnettown. The majority of Bath is inside the city limits of Burnettown, now.” Johnson, of the Midland Valley Chamber, isn’t so sure incorporation is even necessary for the Valley’s continued success. She points to the Horse Creek/Midland Valley Veterans Park on Highway 421 that was funded entirely by the citizens of the various Valley communities. “And what you have to understand is, our park was put together by citizens,” Johnson said. “No offense to the (veterans) park in Aiken, but they had big corporate donations and all of that. “And see, that’s the difference. A lot of areas, they get money from the big corporations, whereas in the Midland Valley area, the citizens come together, so we own it.” And many in the Valley seem to feel they already have as much or more than surrounding areas, without all the fuss and politics that often go along with it. For those like McKenzie, it seems the way of life in the Valley transcends any tangible yardstick a larger metropolitan area might use to define progress. “I could live anywhere I wanted to, but like my husband says, I can’t breathe if I get to far away from the Valley,” McKenzie said. “And I choose to live here, I chose to raise my child here and I choose to work here. “You know, if it was a bad place, I would have never stayed.”

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18 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E

Tech Wars: THE FIGHT OVER YOUR DIGITAL RIGHTS

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By Lisa Jordan

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hey sit, bathed in the light of computer monitors, downloading the latest music and movies with the click of a mouse. As little as five years ago, this was the domain of the hacker — an often misunderstood term that defines those interested in how technology works, regardless of intent — but with the advent of easy-to-use file-sharing programs, mainstream America’s getting in on the act. Now that the buzz over Napster, which brought easy downloads to the masses, has died down and the company has filed for bankruptcy, you may be thinking that music downloads are in danger of being axed by the recording industry. Not so, say computer users, embittered by the Recording Industry Association of America’s (RIAA) reactionary and often underhanded techniques. Users are fighting back on their own turf: the Internet. The RIAA may have succeeded in shutting down Napster, but there are plenty of other battles to be fought in the arena of digital piracy, starting with the music and movie industries. Even television is going down the road of anti-technology litigation paved by the RIAA. As recently as October of 2001, the RIAA tried to sneak an amendment into an anti-terrorism bill that would grant copyright holders the freedom to log onto and look around privately owned computers, without the owner’s knowledge or consent. According to the amendment, copyright holders would then be able to delete files they believed were illegally downloaded, and copyright holders could

not be held liable for any incidental damage to the computer. The amendment was removed before the bill was passed, but angry technophiles denounced the RIAA, both for the invasion of privacy the amendment would allow and for the presumption that a computer user storing digital content obtained it illegally. Typically, possessing copies of copyrighted materials you already own (such as making an mp3 copy of a CD you bought) has been judged as fair use under current copyright law. The RIAA’s efforts bring up the question: Should copyright law be enforced at the expense of protecting privacy? On TechTV’s Web site (www.techtv.com), users expressed outrage at the idea that copyright holders wanted to hack into computers to retrieve copyrighted material. They also shared ways to protect their computers and files: everything from using a firewall (a device or software that restricts access to a computer or network) to renaming mp3 files and boycotting the music industry. And, in a recent blow to the recording industry, which has spent millions on the creation of copy-protected CDs that can’t be copied onto a computer, users have already figured a way to get around copy protection — with a black permanent marker, no less. And many copy-protected discs, often not labeled as copy-protected, have been known to not play on computers and higher-quality CD players, or worse yet, have damaged computers. Particularly vulnerable are Apple computers, alienating legitimate consumers from the music

industry. “No matter what kinds of protection are being made up, it’s almost inevitable that someone smart out there is going to break it,” says “Tim,” a college student who agreed to speak with The Spirit under a false name. “Some people look at breaking protection as a hobby and get great enjoyment out of it.” There are also those who break copy protection for legitimate reasons. To understand the predicament of 2600 magazine (which bills itself “The Hacker Quarterly”) and the lawsuit brought against it by the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), you first need to understand the basics of DVD copyright protection. Most commercial DVDs use a Content Scrambling System (CSS) to prevent DVDs from being copied. All DVD players and computers that allow DVD play can “unscramble” the CSS in order to play the DVD correctly. But on a computer that uses the Linux operating system, a growing alternative to Windows and Macintosh systems, DVD play is not supported. Users wishing to play DVDs on a Linux system must make the computer “unscramble” the CSS. The most popular way to do this is to download a program called DeCSS, which breaks the CSS code and was pioneered by several independent hacker groups around the same time. Though DeCSS can be used for illegal purposes, namely to copy DVD movies onto a computer and distribute them via the Internet, it can also be used for purposes such as the one above. When 2600 posted a link to the DeCSS code on their Web site

(www.2600.com), the MPAA brought legal action against them, claiming they were enabling people to illegally copy and distribute movies released on DVD. “This is a case of theft,” says MPAA President and CEO, Jack Valenti, in a press release. “The posting of the de-encryption formula is no different from making and then distributing unauthorized keys to a department store. The keys have no real purpose except to circumvent the locks that stand between the thief and the goods he or she targets.” Siding with Valenti, a judge has ordered that it is illegal to post DeCSS code or a link to DeCSS code on a Web site, prompting DeCSS advocates to look for alternative methods of spreading the code. One site offers the code printed on T-shirts and ties, another uses animated characters to explain the code, and still others offer the code in haiku form and accessible through a dramatic reading or square-dance musical version. But the danger to copyright that DeCSS and file formats such as DivX, which compresses video into files small in size and high in quality, pose to the movie industry is troublesome enough to make the MPAA the newest corporate “bad guys” to consumers. “I think that you’re going to be mad any time that an organization like those are attempting to regulate or stop what you’re doing,” says Tim, adding that downloading music and movies will one day look tame. “I believe that combating piracy 100 percent is out of the question and will continued on page 20

As recently as October of 2001, the RIAA tried to sneak an amendment into an anti-terrorism bill that would grant copyright holders the freedom to log onto and look around privately owned computers, without the owner’s knowledge or consent.


19 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 1 3 2 0 0 2

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never happen.” Tim downloads movie files in addition to music files and says, “Depending on Internet connection speeds, (downloading movies) can take anywhere from 20 minutes in a college dorm to one hour on a cable connection, and pretty much all day on a dialup connection.” Because the small file size of movies and growing availability of high-speed Internet access allows movie files to be transferred at a rapid pace and to be copied onto a recordable CD, more and more users, like Tim, are turning to the Internet for their movie fix. “Otherwise rational people who would not dream of stealing a videocassette off the shelf of a Blockbuster store are using movies without permission or payment, which is, for many, the assumed normality of current Internet behavior,” said Valenti in a 2001 address to the Senate Judiciary Committee. Internet users, growing more and more accustomed to downloading whatever they want, not only see downloading as normal – they’re also becoming more technologically savvy to keep up with the latest advances in movie and music playback. “Lately, different formats other than DivX have become increasingly popular, like SVCD,” says Tim. “Most SVCDs are DVD rips that come out before DVDs hit stores, sometimes months before a DVD will hit stores. Lots of them come from Asia, for some reason. And the appeal to SVCDs is that some DVD players will play formats like VCD, SVCD, et cetera.” With Napster gone and multimedia filesharing programs like Morpheus and Kazaa under scrutiny, Tim is going back to downloading the old-fashioned way, circa 1997. “In my opinion, file-sharing programs aren’t good for transferring large files, for example, DivX, because they are prone to cutting off, disconnecting and interrupting downloads. The most reliable way to download DivX is from a private FTP site,” Tim says. Private FTP, or File Transfer Protocol, sites allow users with a password access to an array of files, many of them music or video files. Users hang out in chat rooms, usually on Internet Relay Chat (IRC), and direct others to FTP sites. “IRC is where most of the educated people hang out, and through IRC you are able to set up contacts with other people,” Tim says. “Sometimes they’ll hook you up on their sites.” But the government is cracking down on people who host FTP sites containing pirated materials; recently, some members of the Drink or Die Web ring, which ran sites that supplied copyrighted software,

music and movies, were sentenced to three years of prison. “Really, the only people who are ever arrested for piracy are stupid people who sell copies of stuff on the street and people who run large FTP sites that are major distribution sites,” Tim says. “Also, the leaders of groups who actually rip and release movies and music to the Internet.” His sentiments echo those of most other casual downloaders, lulled into security by the fact that, so far, no major litigation has been brought against the average user. That may soon change, even though the legal system is struggling to keep up with advances in technology that make illegal distribution of copyrighted materials. A judge recently ordered Sonicblue, makers of a personal digital video recorder, to collect data on how the recorders are being used — a decision that was recently overturned. Personal digital video recorders work a lot like VCRs, only they store information within the unit instead of on tape, automatically record shows you normally watch, and have the ability to skip commercials or rewind live TV. With network executives like Jamie Kellner, the CEO and chairman of Turner Broadcasting, asserting that skipping commercials is stealing television, entertainment executives are trying to find ways to monitor how their products are being used and if those uses constitute copyright violations. Consumer Electronics Association president and CEO Gary Shapiro said in a recent press release, “The court’s order is highly troubling. It forces Sonicblue to violate the trust of its customers and commit an incredible invasion of privacy.” And though Sonicblue is no longer required to go through with the monitoring, the company’s legal battles are far from over. A trial date is set for late summer, and users of Sonicblue’s technology filed a lawsuit May 30 against movie and television studios, asking a judge to protect their right to use personal digital video recorders. Despite the legal issues surrounding copyrighted material on the Internet, computer users continue to download, and many don’t feel like they’re in violation of the law, calling copyright infringement a victimless crime and citing the high prices of CDs and DVDs as justification for downloading free materials on the Web. “I don’t believe anything is wrong with it, because it gives people a chance to download things and see if they like them,” says Tim. “Some people like to buy things after they try them. “I look at it as kind of going to a video store, just for music, movies, all types of software and video games.”

“Otherwise rational people who would not dream of stealing a videocassette off the shelf of a Blockbuster store are using movies without permission or payment.” - MPAA president and CEO Jack Valenti


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M E T R O

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hen you eat at Famous Dave’s, you’re not having just a meal – you’re having an experience. There’s a theme in every room, whether you want to eat in Dave’s Garage or Dave’s Juke Joint, or maybe the Kitchen and Garden Room, you will be surrounded by fun memorabilia that will set the mood for a fine time. Dave’s Garage, for instance, is full of old gas pumps ‘n’ things, and of course Dave’s Juke Joint has the bar. The Kitchen and Garden Room is a nice little spot with both ... well, kitchen and garden stuff. There’s even a dining room for the fishing buffs out there. In addition, the management keeps the blues coming over the speakers for your musical enjoyment. So much for the ambience. You want to know about the food. Operating partner David Knight says the barbecue at Famous Dave’s is the best he’s ever had. “I tend to be a little biased on that, I’m sure,” he added. But just because Famous Dave’s is famous for the barbecue, that doesn’t mean that’s all there is to eat there. “We have a lot of other menu items that I think probably get overshadowed sometimes. I think a lot of people don’t come in here with the thought of order-

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Arts

& Entertainment

AthFest 2002: A Veritable Orgy of Rock ‘n’ Roll

T

here is a reason writers hang out at coffee shops like confused zombies: They stay awake all night contemplating things like how the heck to work the word “orgy” into a headline. When in the midst of such literary tribulation, it sometimes helps to consult a dictionary. I like Definition 3: “unrestrained indulgence in any activity.” AthFest! Here is a teeny-tiny bit of what you may encounter if you choose to go on a musical quest to not-so-ancient Athens this month.

They Are Woman, Hear Them Roar The frontman of the band which, until three months ago, was called Grasshopper, Mattt Lucas says that he actually does yell “Woman!” about 500 times a show. (And no, I am not an idiot who can’t type. Well, sometimes I am, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are at least three T’s in Mr. Lucas’ first name.) There are no women in this band, by the way. The deep symbolic reason behind the name change is the group’s unflinching dedication to their music. Even, at least in Mattt’s case, at the expense of romance. “Music is my woman,” he has been known to say. “Until you make it, you rarely have time for anything else except for music.” And yes, they do occassionally get razzed on the playground because of it, getting hit with such insightful questions as, “Why the f*** did you name your band Woman?” Luckily, he speaks the language. “Because it’s f***ing cool,” he’ll say. As far as the sound, Mattt says it’s just meat ‘n’ potatoes rock ‘n’ roll. “We’re not breaking any new ground,” he said. “We’re not better than anyone. We’re just ourselves.” This is not music that you want to relax to, though. It’s high energy. Yeah. Woman will roar at 5:20 on Saturday, June 22.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch That’s not even the tip of the iceberg tip. Other bands on the menu are ... Dromedary. That’s a camel. There are also no camels in this group. Andrew Reissiger, who comprises half of the group, describes the duo’s overall sound as “unexpected” and “exotic,” that the duo enjoys sounds with “intention and honesty and heart.” He and his partner Rob McMaken travel the globe, bringing back sounds for souvenirs. “Both Rob and I have travelled quite a bit as well as lived abroad for extended periods. Curiosity and lots of playing can lead you down many an interesting road.” They incorporate Klezmer music, Nubian Oud music, Portugese Fado and Celtic music, as well as Flamenco and Andean music, to name a few styles. Asked if they write lyrics, Reissiger replied, “Nope. All instrumental music. But definitely not boring.” There is something about a band who can produce strongly ethnic sounds, or sounds from other time periods (which often go together), that really add to a festival atmosphere. Even if you “don’t like this stuff,” you should go and check out these guys. Might find something that touches you hard. Nathan Sheppard is a Savannah, Ga.-born son of a B...aptist minister. Now he straps on a guitar and a mouth-harp, provokes your thoughts with his lyrics and makes you sigh with accoustic melodies. His song “Carolina” has been featured on the soundtrack of the film “Blue Ridge Falls,” starring Tom Arnold, Amy Irving and Chris Isaak. He’s influenced by gospel, Bob Dylan, Donovan, the Moody Blues, Cat Stevens. He has opened for Jefferson Starship, Jewel, Leon Russell and others. AthFest 2002 runs from June 20-23. These acts are performing in the outside venue. But there will be a club crawl each night at participating venues. For information, and an updated schedule, visit www.athfest.com.

BY RHONDA JONES

ATHFEST 2002 OUTDOOR STAGES FRIDAY 5:20-6:00 The Modfathers 6:00-6:20 Mike Mantione (Five-Eight) 6:20-7:00 Soundtrack Mind 7:00-7:20 Rob Veal (ex-Dashboard Saviors) 7:20-8:00 Flood City Shootout 8:00-8:20 Cory Jones (ex-Soul Miner’s Daughter) 8:20-9:00 Lona 9:00-9:20 Redneck GReece 9:20-10:00 Drive-By Truckers SATURDAY 12:20-1:00 De Novo Dahl 1:00-1:20 Ryan Adcock 1:20-2:00 The Ones 2:00-2:20 Bootleg Remedy 2:20-3:00 Pam Blanchard & the Sunny-Side Up Band 3:00-3:20 Georgia Guitar Quartet 3:20-4:00 Trances Arc 4:00-4:20 Winslow Willard 4:20-5:00 Dodd Ferrelle & the Tinfoil Stars 5:00-5:20 Claire & Bain’s Maple Yum Yum 5:20-6:00 Woman 6:00-6:20 Eric Gregory (Twain) 6:20-7:00 No Option 7:00-7:20 Nathan Sheppard 7:20-8:00 Bill Mallonee (of Vigilantes of Love) 8:00-8:20 Dromedary 8:20-9:00 Stewart & Winfield 9:00-9:20 Kitty Snyder 9:20-10:00 Jennifer Nettles Band SUNDAY 12:20-1:00 Calliope Fair 1:00-1:20 Breathlanes Duo 1:20-2:00 Emerald Rose 2:00-2:20 Riveter 2:20-3:00 Asylum Street Spankers 3:00-3:20 Artie Bald Swing Band 3:20-4:00 Erik Hinds Big Band 4:00-4:20 Doug Hollis (Adam Payne, Josh Perkins, Gary Kellam)

4:20-5:00 Rollin’ in the Hay 5:00-5:20 Workhorses of the Entertainment/Recreational Industry 5:20-6:00 Gunnison 6:00-6:20 doug 6:20-7:00 Neal Pattman Blues Band 7:00-7:20 Normaltown Flyers 7:20-8:00 Japancakes

ATHFEST 2002 VENUES 40 WATT CLUB - 285 West Washington Street Thursday, Friday & Saturday ATHENS MUSIC FACTORY - 420 East Clayton Street Friday & Saturday CALEDONIA LOUNGE - 256 West Clayton Street Friday & Saturday DT’S DOWN UNDER - 140 East Clayton Street Friday & Saturday ENGINE ROOM - 235 West Washington Street Friday & Saturday FLICKER THEATRE - 263 West Washington Street Friday & Saturday GEORGIA BAR - 159 West Clayton Street Friday & Saturday GEORGIA THEATRE - 215 North Lumpkin Street Friday & Saturday LUNCH PAPER - 114 College Avenue Friday & Saturday MORTON THEATRE - 195 West Washington Street Thursday NUCI’S SPACE - 396 Oconee Street Saturday ONE LOVE MUSIC AND DANCE HALL - 346 Broad Street Friday & Saturday THE ROADHOUSE - 137 North Lumpkin Street Saturday TASTY WORLD - 312 East Broad Street Friday & Saturday WILD WING CAFE - 312 East Washington Street Saturday THE WINERY - 429 East Broad Street Saturday

m u s i c Nathan Sheppard

Dromedary

Woman


Whaley’s Babies Aren’t Your Average Kids

G

reen speckles cover the painting of a rooster that artist Donna Whaley has just hung next to another member of the series of paintings she calls “Whaley’s Roosters.” “The roosters are just my way of loosening up,” Whaley says. “Yesterday my kitchen had green spots all over it, because I was playing with paint.” Whaley’s work is currently being exhibited at the Sacred Heart Cultural Center through the end of June. Her pieces range from freestyle roosters to more precise pen-and-ink drawings of local homes and landmarks. But it is the pet portraits she is typically commissioned to do that Whaley says she enjoys the most. “When I do pen-and-inks, I just sit in front of the television and watch my favorite soap opera,” she says. “It’s kind of therapeutic, but with the pet portraits, it’s different. I’m just totally into that.” After 20 years of painting pets, Whaley says that she has done her fair share of dogs, cats and horses; however, the harmonious scene that she paints does not always depict the true relationship between the animals shown. “I photograph these animals separately and then I put them into a composition,” Whaley says. “Once I had three cats that were all persnickety and didn’t want to be around eachother, and I painted them in a window sitting together, looking like they were happy to be together and belonged in that painting.”

S E M I

She says that although it is sometimes feast or famine when it comes to the money she is paid for her paintings, Whaley believes that making a living off her commissions is what pushes her to paint – but in a positive way, she says. “I enjoy the variety and freedom of supporting myself solely by art, and I haven’t punched a clock since 1984,” Whaley says. “I probably don’t charge enough for my paintings, but I want them to be affordable for everyone.” She acknowledges that criticism does accompany getting paid to paint and says that the goal is to please her customer. But Whaley adds that a perk of working on commission is that sometimes her customers come up with ideas for paintings that she would never have thought of on her own. Whaley says that her artistic talent can be attributed to the women in her family and remembers painting on Saturdays at the kitchen table with her grandmother when she was a child. She later received formal training at Ringling School of Art and Design in Sarasota, Fla., and began her career in Augusta with her first show at Café Du Teau in 1979. Soon after, Whaley also became involved with “The Tour of Homes” and has done pen-and-ink drawings of houses in Summerville for the past 25 years. Although she enjoys trying something new when it comes to painting, Whaley says that she is satisfied with her current style.

A N N U A L

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By Aimee Pavlik

M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 1 3 2 0 0 2

“I think most artists can do just about any medium if they apply themselves,” she says. “But right now I’m at where I want to be.” In her free time, Whaley is restoring her family home on Glenn Avenue, along with gardening, decorating, cooking and drinking the occasional martini on her front porch among friends. She says she will continue to create her paintings – “good compositions with intense color and a lot of love” – for as long as her eyesight cooperates, and jokes

R A C K

that when that goes, she will resort to painting abstracts. Whaley says that she enjoys how painting gives her a bit of prestige in the community and the fact that she is able to make a living from it. But in the end, Whaley says the legacy of “her babies” is the best perk of her job. “I don’t have any children, so my art is kind of like my baby,” she says. “When I’m dead and gone, people will remember me not for my children, but for my paintings.”

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Get Thee to the Georgia Shakespeare Festival

By Rhonda Jones

O

h, a midsummer night’s dream of hanging outside among fellow patrons dining on picnics and supping the juice of the grape. The Georgia Shakespeare Festival leaps into action this weekend with “Two Gentlemen of Verona” and will last until Aug. 11. In addition to “Two Gentlemen...,” this year’s offerings include “The Merry Wives of Windsor” and “Death of a Salesman.” Yes, we are fully aware that “Death...” is Arthur Miller. According to marketing chick Stacey Colosa Lucas, they like to include a classic that Will did not pen, but this is the first American classic that they’ve performed in the company’s 17 years of strutting and fretting. “A contemporary classic, I guess you could call it,” she said. Then she described how the festival came to be. “We were founded in a tent. Basically the founding directors would pitch a tent on the campus of Oglethorpe University,” she said. Lucas said that even though they built an indoor facility in 1997, they have maintained the casual summer atmosphere of days gone by. “That’s sort of been a holdover from the tent days, in 99-degree Georgia weather. It’s very common for people to wear shorts. You can dress any way that you want.” It’s also common, she said, for patrons to arrive an hour and a half before the show starts, to enjoy their dinners. And they are allowed to bring wine into the theatre, though they are asked to use plastic instead of glass. “Every once in a while there’s some spillage,”

popular practice among directors, and frequently a brilliant thing to do. “If a director thinks a certain time period or situation (will work) and can prove that text supports a change in location or time, we do that,” she said. For instance, the troupe once set Will’s “Julius Caesar” in 1930s Louisiana. The idea, she added, is to make the 400-year-old plays accessible to the audiences of today. “Our little tag line is, ‘We blow the dust off the classics.’” Cough-cough.

Schedule and Other Useful Stuff

she said, and the tell-tale crash of contraband. Wine and other beverages aside, Lucas assured The Metropolitan Spirit that Shakespeare groupies don’t tend to mosh or stage-dive. “We get cell phones that go off, but I don’t think that has anything to do with the wine.” Of the two Shakespeare pieces, “The Merry Wives of Windsor” will be performed in Elizabethan costume, as God intended, while “Two Gentlemen...” has been set in a more contemporary period. Setting Will’s writings all over the continuum is a

Tabernacle Church Presents

Going to the Next Level: Evangelism Revival A Father - Son Special When:

June 16, 2002 at 6:00 pm June 17-19, 2002 at 7:00 pm

Where: Tabernacle Baptist Church Reverend Otis B. Moss, III, Pastor 1223 Laney-Walker Boulevard Augusta, GA 30901 706--724-1230 Fax: 706-724-1231 Email: Praise1747@aol.com Website: www.tbcaugusta.org

MARK YOUR CALENDAR BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS THIS. COME ON OUT AND LEARN THE WORK GOD WANTS YOU TO DO.

Every Member A Disciple, Every Disciple A Minister

“Two Gentlemen of Verona” runs June 14 - Aug. 11. “Death of a Salesman” runs June 28 - Aug. 9. “The Merry Wives of Windsor” runs July 12 - Aug. 10. It’s billed as “bawdy.” Whoo-hoo. The Conant Performing Arts Center (pictured), where the deed will be done, is a festive-looking little building with a striped roof. Resembles a carousel. You may find it in Dekalb, Ga., with more specific directions appearing on the Georgia Shakespeare Festival Web site at www.gashakespeare.org. Box office hours are Monday through Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Telephone at (404) 264-0020 or e-mail them at boxoffice@gashakespeare.org. Single tickets are $23, but there are special group rates. “The Taming of the Shrew will run from Oct. 11 Nov. 3 and “Singular Voices,” a collection of one-man plays by John Ammerman and Brad Sherrill, will run Sept. 18-22.

The Father

Reverend Dr. Otis Moss, Jr., Pastor, Olivet Institutional Baptist Church Cleveland, Ohio

Education: Bachelor of Arts degree from Morehouse College, Master of Divinity degree from Morehouse School of Religion/InterDenominational Theological Center, Doctor of Ministry degree from United Theological Seminary in 1990 Dr. Moss has consulted with presidents, been honored for his work in civil rights and has delivered the Word of the Gospel all across the globe. He is recognized and revered for his dedication to all humankind. The accolades and achievements of The Reverend Dr. Otis Moss, Jr. are great in number; they supersede the barriers of color, race and religion. The Olivet Institutional Baptist Church is proud to share The Reverend Dr. Otis Moss, Jr., with the world. His ministry is blessed because of his sincere desire to serve the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind.

The Son

Rev. Otis Moss, III Pastor, Tabernacle Baptist Church Augusta, Georgia

Education: Bachelor of Arts degree in Religion and Philosophy from Morehouse College, Master of Divinity degree from Yale University Rev. Moss has done extensive research in the areas of African-American culture, theology and youth development. Four-G published his first book Redemption in a Red Light District in December of 1999. His passion for youth ministry led him to design the “Kabasis Rites of Passage Program” for youth development. This program contains a comprehensive Christ-centered, Afro-centric curriculum designed to assist in the development of African-American youth. His love for God and young people has led him to speak and preach in churches, seminaries and colleges across the globe. Newsweek magazine recently cited Rev. Moss as one of “God’s Foot Soldiers” committed to transforming the lives of youth.


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Cinema Movie Listings About a Boy (PG-13) — Hugh Grant gives his

most impressively dithery but moving per formance as Will, a smug London bachelor who realizes he is becoming a void. Women shake him up, but even more a smar t, needy kid (Nicholas Hoult), as the film by Paul and Chris Weitz steps around sitcom traps to be a touchingly funny story of unhappy people muddling upward. Running time: 1 hr., 55 min. (Elliot t) ★★★

The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (G) — The beloved fuzzy red guy ventures of f Sesame

Street and into Grouchland, a dismal place full of moody folk, villains and trash, in search of his favorite security blanket. When Elmo won’t share his blanket with friend Zoe, a tug-of-war sends it flying into Grouchland. Elmo pursues, and along the way learns an impor tant lesson about sharing and friendship. Cast: Mandy Patinkin, Vanessa L. Williams, Sonia Manzano, Bob McGrath. Running time: 1 hr., 13 mins. All About the Benjamins (R) — Ice Cube and Mike Epps risk their necks for $20 million in uncut diamonds and a $60 million lot tery ticket. Cube plays Bucum Jackson, a Miami-based bounty hunter with an at titude. He dreams of opening his own private investigation firm. His latest hunt leads him to old foe Reggie Wright (Epps), a slippery con man. Reggie buys a lottery ticket with numbers supplied to him by his girlfriend (Eva Mendes). Bucum spots Reggie and af ter a way-too-long chase, Reggie escapes. Bucum spots Reggie a few minutes later and the chase is on yet again. Only this time, they both land smack dab in the middle of a multimillion-dollar diamond heist. Ice Cube may be the mastermind behind "All About the Benjamins," but it's Mike Epps who steals the show. Cast: Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Eva Mendes, Tommy Flanagan, Valarie Rae Miller, Roger Guenveur Smith, Lil' Bow Wow, Carmen Chaplin and Anthony Michael Hall. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★★ Bad Company (PG-13) — It stars schticky Chris Rock and stolid Anthony Hopkins, who seem barely in the same movie. Rock plays a straight-arrow CIA agent named Kevin, whose cover is running an antiques store in Prague. Kevin gets killed on duty and replaced in a rush by identical twin brother Jake, a jokey speedchess hustler in New York who never knew he had a twin "separated at bir th." His recruiter is Hopkins as the CIA's Gaylord Oakes. It's another car toon show without animation. This is where James Bond has finally gone for burial. Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Peter Stormare. Running time: 1 hr. 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Big Trouble (PG-13) — Tim Allen stars in this ensemble comedy based on columnist Dave Barr y’s novel of the same name. The lives of several Miami residents, including a divorced father, a miserable housewife, hitmen, street thugs, lovesick teenagers and t wo FBI men, cross in humorous ways; they’re all tied together by the contents of a mysterious suitcase. Cast: Tim Allen, Zooey Deschanel, Omar Epps, Dennis Farina, Janeane Garofalo, Heavy D, Johnny Knox ville, Jason Lee, Andy Richter, Rene Russo, Tom Sizemore, Stanley Tucci. Blade 2 (R) — Wesley Snipes is Blade. He's a buf f leather dude, a half-vampire who hunts vampires with weapons that might give James Bond pause, and with the mar tial moves of a Hong Kong dervish on a spree. There is a vampire aristocracy, their bodies so bleached and pasty you expect them to crumble into talcum powder. And there is a new strain of killer virus monster. Set in a Prague that surpasses Kafka's bad dreams, the movie has a necro-glam ostentation. Kris Kristof ferson is Blade's friend, mentor, old daddy-o. The movie is an enjoyable showof f until it turns pompous, runs too long, and tries to find pathos in the decay of the vampire dynasty, as if this were Greek tragedy instead of pop kitsch. Cast: Wesley Snipes, Kris

Kristof ferson, Ron Perlman, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus. Running time: 1 hr., 52 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Bourne Identity (PG-13) — Based on the first in a trio of books by Rober t Ludlum, a wounded man (Damon) is rescued from the sea unable to remember who he is. While desperately searching for his identity, he realizes that mysterious men are af ter him, and that he somehow possesses the spy-like skills to kill them before they can harm him. Cast: Chris Cooper, Mat t Damon, Franka Potente, Julia Stiles. Clockstoppers (PG) — Mediocrity will have its way. That is always clear at a movie as generic and pigeonholed as "Clockstoppers." Jesse Bradford is Zak, a boy who comes upon a time-travel wristwatch perfected by a snarky teen scientist (French Stewar t, fairly excruciating in comedy). Along with Paula Garces, as a student fresh from South America whose accent wanders through its own time zones, Zak trips around as other people freeze like statues or ooze in slow-mo. The ef fects have modest wow value. ★1/2

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) — Successful playwright Sidda (Sandra

Bullock), in an interview in Time magazine, suggests that her dif ficult childhood was due largely to her mother, Vivi (Ellen Burstyn). An angry phone call and a few let ters later, the two are estranged. Time for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood to step in – four women bound in friendship since girlhood, led by Vivi. They make a secret trip to New York, where, with the aid of Sidda's boy friend Connor (Angus MacFadyen), they drug Sidda, spirit her down south and establish her in an outpost near her family's estate. There she is to pore over their scrapbook, "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood," af ter which she will understand why her mother can be such an impossible shrew. The "Divine Secret's" mission: a wallow in greeting-card sentimentality, a bath in bathos. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn, Fionnula Flanagan, Ashley Judd, Shirley Knight, Maggie Smith, James Garner. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Salm) ★1/2 Enough (PG-13) — Not even half enough. This dodo is a female empowerment fantasy, without the honest, gal-with-gun pulpness of "Deep in the Hear t." Jennifer Lopez is the betrayed wife who runs scared with her lit tle girl (frequent witness to sadism), then quickly masters mar tial ar ts to clobber the creep (Billy Campbell, who's like Jim Carrey gone very wrong). Michael Apted directed miserably, wasting his talent and Juliet te Lewis, Fred Ward and Bill Cobbs. Running time: 1 hr., 55 mins. (Elliot t) ★ Insomnia (R) — From Christopher Nolan ("Memento"). LAPD detective Will Dormer (Al Pacino) and his par tner (Mar tin Donovan) travel to Alaska to assist an old pal with a murder case. There's a lurching, Nolanesque vector shif t, and suddenly it's a dif ferent movie, infused with Dormer's exhaustion in the 24hour sunlight. A twisted, vaguely repulsive hack writer/murder suspect (Robin Williams) feeds of f Dormer's growing weakness. With Hilary Swank, sor t of — her character is sorely underwrit ten. Adapted from a 1998 Norwegian film of the same title. Running time: 1 hr, 55 mins. (Salm) ★★★ Jason X (R) — The latest in the “Friday the 13th” series, “Jason X” puts a sci-fi spin on a classic horror favorite. In the year 2455, a group of young explorers visits Ear th, which has turned toxic and been abandoned by humanity. They find Jason, cryogenically frozen and spor ting a hockey mask (later replaced by a futuristic-looking metal one), and make the mistake of bringing him on board their spacecraf t. He thaws and silently stalks the crew throughout the ship’s corridors. Plenty of gory special ef fects. Cast: Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Peter Mensah, Jonathan Pot ts, Lisa Ryder, Dov Tiefenbach. Running time: 93 minutes. John Q (PG-13) — “John Q” is fairly engrossing and fairly bad. John Q's (Denzel Washington) son suddenly collapses at a Lit tle League game, freaking John and his fiercely commit ted wife, Denise (Kimberley Elise). We know the family is in economic straits, and when the boy is taken to a big Chicago hospital, it turns out that John's medical plan has been cheapened by his employer, and the $250,000 needed for a hear t transplant is not available. Agonized, John takes over the emergency room and some hostages. Despite some brickload dialogue and a music track that of ten

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

“Scooby Doo” seems to have its own agenda, Washington is a great actor. Even when forced into tears, into emotional taf fy-pulling, he brings weight and depth and dignity to his work. Cast: Rober t Duvall, James Woods, Anne Heche, Kimberley Elise, Eddie Grif fin, Ray Liot ta. Running time: 1 hr., 56 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) — Simply saying the title is a verbal project. Watching the film for three hours is like hearing Wagner's Ring Cycle remastered by a genius of the kazoo — the concepts remain grandiose, but the music gets rather oopsy. The movie is visually spectacular, a feast from the kitsch kitchen. The story is a quest to return " the ring of power " to its bir thplace "in the fire of Mount Doom." The opening is not a movie launch, it's a franchise arrival, a hugely expensive gamble that the aging Tolkien mob can be whopper-welded to new crowds. The sights are ga-ga, but the story telling gets fairly turgid. As with the last "Star Wars" picture, we detect a team of imagineers stretching their plot like a Goliath of taf fy — tempting us, teasing us, set ting us up for future box-of fice kills. If you just got ta get killed that way, go for it. Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Viggo Mor tensen, Cate Blanchet t, Sean Astin, Liv Tyler, Ian Holm, Sean Bean. Running time: 3 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★ Monsters, Inc. (G) — Pixar 'tooner Pete Docter, now directing, has twisted a clever story pretzel with his writers. They have fine-'tooned monstrous, but cuddly variants of the gross blob, Cyclops, Medusa, furry freaks and a Mr. Vile. They work in a huge factory under boss J.J. Waternoose. The best "scarers" collect screams as necessary fuel for their high-tech world of comfy ick and cozy schtick. This is done via magic por tals, doors that allow fast entry to sleeping kids' bedrooms. James "Sully" Sullivan is a huge shag pillow of a monster. His pal is one-eyed lit tle Mike Wazowski, a sor t of pea-pod Polish joke with borscht belt vibes. The buddies get stuck with a human, a toddler named Boo, who thinks they're just wonder ful. Her innocence, that of a cupcake Columbus, changes the world of monsterdom. Cast: John Goodman, Billy Crystal, James Coburn, Mary Gibbs, Steve Buscemi, Bob Peterson, Jennifer Tilly. Running time: 1 hr., 24 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Murder by Numbers (R) — Stars Sandra Bullock as a Nor thern California homicide detective named Cassie, with a tormented past. She has a wiry, noir vulnerability as this cop who tries to be a calloused, brusque, sexually available toughie. Ben Chaplin is her new par tner, Sam. They have a brutal case, the " thrill" murder of a young woman. Ryan Gosling plays the pure cynic, a sociopath, and Michael Pit t is the nerd genius. The film moves on formulaic rails. The sado bits include a bizarre monkey moment, and a gaspy precipice clima x that mimics Hitchcock. The more the characters suggest specific humanity — and Bullock does some of her best adult work so far — the more the bland surroundings numb them down, by the numbers. Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ben Chaplin, Ryan Gosling, Michael Pit t, Chris Penn. Running time: 1 hr., 48 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Panic Room (R) — Not since Hitchcock's "Rear Window" has a New York location been used more suspensefully than in "Panic Room." This New York home is a lavish townhouse that includes a "panic room," a top-floor security crib. Breaking into the seemingly vacant house on a stormy evening are three men who expect an easy job. Most surprised by this intrusion are Jodie Foster and her on-screen daughter, played by Kristen Stewar t. They flee to the panic room to find a phone that doesn't work and watch the frustrated crooks on the security screens. "Panic Room" is a cold sweat, fevered by frantic impulses. It's terrific enter tainment. Cast: Jodie Foster, Forest Whitaker, Dwight Yoakam, Kristen Stewar t, Patrick Bauchau,

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

0— Not worthy.

Jared Leto. Running time: 1 hr. 48 min. ★★★★

Scooby Doo (PG) — Those meddlin’ kids and, of

course, Scooby Doo, make their big screen debut in this live-action version of the long-running cartoon. In this adventure, the gang is out to solve the mystery of Spooky Island. Cast: Linda Cardellini, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr., Rowan Atkinson. The Scorpion King (PG-13) — The Rock (Dwayne Douglas Johnson) plays Mathayus "the Akkadian." Up nor th are hairy Vikings, or Visigoths, or Who, but deser t lands, including sinful Gomorrah, are ruled by the crazed tyrant Memnon (Steven Brand). Mathayus leads the tribal remnant of free humans against him. First, Rock abducts and wins over the mean guy's sorceress (Kelly Hu). She joins him, a camel, a cute scamp, a silly sidekick and a vast dude who should be called the Meat (Michael Clarke Duncan of "The Green Mile"). The movie has epic sand, computerized vistas, harems of buf f women, ex treme violence dry-cleaned of blood, lines that roll of f the tongue like bricks, and costumes wor thy of an old DeMille show. The pulp purity goes back before silent films and is breezy fun on a toy-macho level. Cast: The Rock, Steven Brand, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kelly Hu, Bernard Hu. Running time: 1 hr., 32 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Shrek (PG) — Mike Myers provides the voice for Shrek, a very imposing and very green ogre living in an isolated swamp — isolated, that is, until small but power ful Lord Farquaad turns the swamp into a camp for annoying and unwanted fairy tale characters. Shrek and his talkative pal, Donkey, journey to Farquaad’s realm, where he cuts them a deal: rescue Princess Fiona and convince her to marry Farquaad in exchange for the former peace of their swamp. “Shrek” features humor that will be enjoyed by kids and adults alike (albeit on dif ferent levels) and eye-catching computer-generated animation. Cast: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, John Lithgow. Running time: 1 hr., 33 mins. Spider-Man (PG-13) — Sweetly dorky Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is bit ten by a new form of lab spider on a school trip. He morphs into a speed master with arachnid powers, but keeps his real identity masked from the girl literally nex t door, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst). Spider-Man casts webs from his hand, climbs and leaps around New York and battles a capitalist nut turned Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Always sidelined is the nut's son, Peter's best friend, Harry (James Franco). The film is high-craf ted and amusing, though the POW! style so right for Marvel pages can be numbing in this tech-loaded, hypersonic approach. "Spider-Man" has the heat of a newborn franchise. The costumed hero finally makes a brilliant match with Old Glory, in a gleaming Manhat tan. Cast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco, Clif f Rober tson, Rosemary Harris. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (G) — A sweetly bland DreamWorks car toon film about a bold horse that runs across much of the Old West, his thoughts spoken by Mat t Damon, his adventures doused in Bryan Adams tunes that are like a floral tribute to Rod Stewar t. The horse action is swif t, and borrowed John Ford bits mean nothing to modern kids. 1 hr., 25 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (PG) — This is No. 5 in the series and is visually spec-

tacular (entirely filmed in digital, and projected that way in some theaters). It moves swiftly and has action payoffs, but George Lucas is still a turgid storyteller, and stiff dialogue drags the actors down to mere plot function too often. Ewan McGregor seems to be coming into his own as wise Obi-Wan. 2 hr., 23 min. (Elliot t) ★★1/2

continued on page 28


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The Sum of All Fears (PG-13) — Another

morbid Tom Clancy nightmare of big power and dire danger (the nuclear devil unleashed), with a trivial romance trampled by politics and spy games. Phil Alden Robinson directed with spruce if pompous flair, and the nerve-raked cast has Ben Af fleck as the hero, Morgan Freeman, Alan Bates, James Cromwell, Liev Schreiber and (ace as the Russian prez) Ciaran Hinds. 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Undercover Brother (PG-13) — The source was a Web comedy site, and it's a derivation of old bla xploiters, "In Living Color " and the Austin Powers goofs, but this lampoon of black heroics is funny in a pumped-up way. Eddie Grif fin wears the power Afro as the main bro, and Malcolm D. Lee also got good stuf f from Chris Kat tan, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis and Billy Dee Williams as a Colin Powell-like general who wants to be the new Col. Sanders. 1 hr., 26 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ Unfaithful (R) — Richard Gere is Ed, businessman, loyal husband, devoted father, living in a plush suburb of New York City. Wife Connie (Diane Lane) seems equally pampered and happy, but there is something nervy and urban about her and, on a visit to SoHo, a wind storm blows her right into Paul, bookseller and stud, French, with facial stubble wor thy to be a put ting green. Paul is the other man, played by Olivier Mar tinez. It's some af fair, with Lane exposing much skin but also emotions that imply the af fair is a necessary, obsessive risk. The movie has a rather complacent dependence on rote situations. The vivid sex can't disguise the petrified fossils of countless stu-

dio melodramas about love triangles and sof t-rot marriages. Cast: Richard Gere, Diane Lane, Olivier Mar tinez, Erik Per Sullivan, Kate Bur ton. Running time: 1 hr., 47 min. (Elliot t) ★★ We Were Soldiers (R) — is an at tempt to jump over the politics of the Vietnam War and say quite plainly: Here are the soldiers, here is how they fought and of ten died. Here is their courage and agony. The chief star on that flag is Mel Gibson as Lt. Col. Harold G. Moore. Backed by a pistol-using, WWII ramrod, Sgt. Maj. Basil Plumley (Sam Elliot t), Moore pensively trains the 7th Air Cavalry troops. His "shock troops" were soon shocked. In 1965, they were choppered into the Ia Drang Valley right on top of a tough Nor th Vietnamese force, and the mutual carnage began. It's a horrifying but gripping movie. A lit tle piously, the grand pride of soldierly unity is here. So is the awfulness of war. They stand together, brothers in arms. Cast: Mel Gibson, Madeleine Stowe, Greg Kinnear, Sam Elliot t, Barry Pepper, Keri Russell. Running time: 2 hrs., 16 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★1/2 Windtalkers (R) — World War II drama about a Navajo code talker used by the U.S. military to send messages that the Japanese could not translate. A Marine (Nicholas Cage) is assigned to protect him from falling into enemy hands, but when their capture appears inevitable, can the Marine bring himself to kill his friend to protect the code? Cast: Adam Beach, Nicolas Cage, Noah Emmerich, Christian Slater. —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.


Cinema: Review

Movie Clock

“The Bourne Identity” Walks Fine Between Intrigue and Boredom By Rachel Deahl

W

eaponry seems to be the main focus of Hollywood’s summer movie slate. From the threat of nuclear terrorism in “The Sum of All Fears” to the possibility of an atomic bomb falling into the wrong hands in “Bad Company” to “The Bourne Identity,” which places its vision of armaments in the form of a human being. That human being is one Jason Bourne (played by a buffer-than-usual Matt Damon), a top-secret government agent who becomes the target of an intricate CIA hit after he loses his memory. With its trans-European setting and cool casting, “The Bourne Identity” is sleeker than most of the early summer blockbusters. Unfortunately though, Damon is the weakest link in a cast that includes Franka Potente (the fire-haired sprinter at the heart of “Run Lola Run”), Clive Owen (who made audiences take notice as the ultra-cool card dealer from Mike Hodges’s memorable “Croupier”) and Julia Stiles. Beginning with Damon’s rescue at sea (his seemingly lifeless body is found adrift in the Mediterranean by a fishing boat), “The Bourne Identity” works on a similar trajectory and schematic as “Enemy of the State.” Like Will Smith, who’s targeted by a pervasive and fast-acting government organization for reasons unknown to him, Damon is the focal point of a massive witch-hunt by an equally diabolical U.S. agency. And, like Smith, Damon must also unravel why he’s being chased while running like hell. Unable to remember his own name,

Damon discovers he has a host of uncanny skills (he has the fighting abilities of Bruce Lee at warp speed; he speaks a multitude of languages; and he’s constantly mapping out escape routes in every room he enters) and an unusual box of goodies at the local Swiss bank — a plethora of passports, a gun and a hefty sum of money. So what’s an amnesiac to assume? Damon quickly figures out he’s worked for some high profile folks and now he’s their main target. Hoping to get from Zurich to Paris unnoticed, Damon recruits a comely German with a rickety old Mini (Franka Potente) to take him across the border. The two quickly become more than just friends and, before you know it, the forgetful spy and footloose European are running scared from hired assassins and intricate wire tappings. Though Damon’s past is never fully revealed, the most disappointing element of “The Bourne Identity” is the fact that the film focuses most of its attention on the duo on the lam. The more compelling aspect of the film is the assassination plot launched against Damon, in which said evil U.S. agency activates a circle of European spies (who were crafted similarly to Damon) to hunt down their loose canon. Clive Owen plays the predominant assassin of this bunch, but his role is diminished greatly, as is this element of the film. But with its Matrix-like fight scenes and intricate spy gaming, “The Bourne Identity” teeters on the edge of boredom without ever toppling over.

REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 6/14 - 6/20 Scooby Doo (PG) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 12:55, 2:40, 3:10, 4:40, 5:10, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40, 11:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 12:55, 2:40, 3:10, 4:40, 5:10, 7:00, 7:30, 9:10, 9:40 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 12:45, 3:25, 3:50, 6:40, 7:05, 9:35, 10:05, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 12:45, 3:25, 3:50, 6:40, 7:05, 9:35, 10:05 Windtalkers (R) Fri-Sat: 12:10, 12:35, 3:10, 3:45, 6:40, 7:00, 9:45, 10:15, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:10, 12:35, 3:10, 3:45, 6:40, 7:00, 9:45, 10:15 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:25, 1:20, 4:15, 4:45, 7:10, 7:40, 9:50, 10:15, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:25, 1:20, 4:15, 4:45, 7:10, 7:40, 9:50, 10:15 Bad Company (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 1:05, 3:35, 4:05, 6:55, 9:35, 9:40, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 1:05, 3:35, 4:05, 6:55, 9:35, 9:40 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 1:40, 4:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:30, 9:40, 10:10, 12:25; SunThur: 1:15, 1:40, 4:10, 4:40, 7:05, 7:30, 9:40, 10:10 Undercover Brother (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:30, 11:45; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:30 Insomnia (R) 12:00, 2:40, 5:20, 8:00, 10:40 Enough (PG-13) 2:00, 4:55, 7:50, 10:35 Spirit (G) Fri-Sat: 12:15, 2:25, 4:35, 6:50, 9:00, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 12:15, 2:25, 4:35, 6:50, 9:00 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 12:00, 1:10, 3:20, 4:20, 7:00, 7:30, 10:15, 10:45 About a Boy (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 3:45, 9:15, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 3:45, 9:15 Unfaithful (R) 7:45, 10:35 Spider-Man (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:30, 1:00, 3:30, 4:00, 6:40, 9:30, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 12:30, 1:00, 3:30, 4:00, 6:40, 9:30 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/14 - 6/20 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 1:25, 4:10, 7:10, 9:30 Windtalkers (R) 1:05, 4:25, 7:05, 9:50

Scooby Doo (PG) 12:45, 1:45, 2:45, 3:45, 4:45, 5:45, 6:45, 7:45, 8:45, 9:45 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) 1:30, 2:30, 4:30, 5:30, 7:30, 8:30, 10:05 Bad Company (PG-13) 2:00, 4:35, 7:20, 9:50 Elmo in Grouchland (G) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m. Shrek (PG) Tues, Thurs: 10:30 a.m. Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10:10 Undercover Brother (PG-13) 1:20, 3:20, 5:20, 7:25, 9:25 Insomnia (R) 2:20, 5:00, 7:35, 9:55 Spirit (G) 12:55, 2:55, 4:55, 6:55, 8:55 Star Wars Episode II (PG) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00 Spider-Man (PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:40 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/14 - 6/20 The Bourne Identity (PG-13) 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 9:55 Windtalkers (R) 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:40 Scooby Doo (PG) 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (PG-13) 1:10, 4:15, 7:20, 9:35 Bad Company (PG-13) 1:45, 4:25, 7:25, 9:50 Sum of All Fears (PG-13) 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 9:45 Undercover Brother (PG-13) 7:05, 9:05 Spirit (G) 1:05, 3:05, 5:05 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 6/14 - 6/20 Clockstoppers (PG) 2:40, 5:15, 7:40, 10:05 Panic Room (R) 2:00, 4:40, 7:15, 9:55 Jason X (R) 2:10, 4:55, 7:35, 9:50 Big Trouble (PG-13) 2:20, 4:45, 7:05, 9:30 Murder by Numbers (R) 1:55, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40 The Scorpion King (PG-13) 2:35, 4:55, 7:00, 9:35 Blade 2 (R) 2:25, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 We Were Soldiers (R) 2:00, 5:00, 7:45 Monsters, Inc. (G) 2:30, 4:35, 7:25, 10:00 All About the Benjamins (R) 2:15, 5:10, 8:00, 10:10 John Q (PG-13) 2:05, 5:05, 7:30, 10:00 The Lord of the Rings (PG-13) 1:50, 5:00, 8:15

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Additional alternatives to our comprehensive medical program include: acupuncture, aquatics programs, PACE (People with Arthritis can Exercise), Rehab Plus Exercise Program, Yoga, Physical Therapy, and

1355 Independence Drive, Augusta, GA (706) 823-5294 or visit www.wrh.org

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Days A Week

Arts

Auditions THE AUGUSTA PLAYERS will hold auditions for “The King and I” June 25, July 11, 20 and 25. All auditions held at 7 p.m., except July 20 auditions, which will be held at 10 a.m. and are the only auditions open to children as well as adults. Held at St. John United Methodist Church. Audition consists of a prepared vocal solo and a cold reading. Accompanist provided. Per formance dates scheduled for September 2529. Call 826-4707 for more information. THE AUGUSTA CONCERT BAND holds auditions for new members by appointment. To schedule, call 202-0091.

Education SCRAPBOOKING WORKSHOP at the H.O. Weeks Center. Held through July. Morning classes 9 a.m. to noon the second Thursday of the month; evening classes are 6-9 p.m. the second Tuesday of the month. $10 per class for Aiken City residents. Pre-registration is required. Call (803) 642-7631.

Exhibitions AT THE MARY PAULINE GALLERY through July 27: Lanny Webb Exhibition, Front Gallery; Summer Group Exhibition, Rear Gallery. Call 724-9542 or visit www.marypaulinegallery.com for details. “OVER THE LINE: THE ART AND LIFE OF JACOB LAWRENCE” exhibit June 15-September 8 at the High Museum of Ar t in Atlanta. For more information, call (404) 733-HIGH or visit www.high.org on the Web. FINE ARTS EXHIBITION through July 28 at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History. Features works by the Benedict College Ar t Faculty. Reception June 9, 3-5 p.m. Call 724-3576 for more information. DONNA WHALEY AND KATHERINE KING will exhibit their work at the Sacred Hear t Cultural Center during the month of June. Call 733-2788 for more information. ELAINE ERGLE exhibits her work at Borders Books and Music through the end of June. Upcoming exhibits include: Daniel Hayes in July, Tom Klose in August, Carl Purdy in September, Alex McCain in October and Rober t Lee in November. Call Borders Books and Music at 737-6962 for more information. AT THE GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART in Athens: “From Fauvism to Impressionism: Alber t Marquet, an Exhibition from the Centre Pompidou in Paris” through July 7; “From Heroes to Dudes” through July 21; “Lucy May Stanton” through July 21. For more information, call (706) 542-4662. WORKS BY RUSS BONIN will be on display at the Savage Gallery and Studio through June 29. The Savage Gallery and Studio is located at 1337 Jackson Road in Augusta. Phone 736-3336 or e-mail savagegallery@yahoo.com for more information.

WORKS BY MARYANNE KELLY HAND now on display at the Southeastern Neuroscience Building on Roy Road off Wheeler Road. Held through the summer. For more information, contact Maryanne Kelly Hand at 667-6622.

Dance SINGLES DANCE each Saturday night from 8-11 p.m. is sponsored by the Christian Social Organization for Single Adults. Held at Westside High School on Stelling Road. Tickets available at the door; free dance lessons available at 7 p.m. For more information, call 278-6422.

Music LOCOBAZOOKA TOUR July 6 at the Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds features Filter, Sevendust, Nonpoint, Mushroomhead, Gravity Kills, Audiovent, Reveille, Dragpipe, Breaking Point, local bands and more. Gates open at 10 a.m. and tickets are $20 in advance, $25 the day of the show. All ages admit ted, but only those 21 and over with ID may buy alcohol. Tickets available at www.ETIX.com or by phone at 1-866-866-9938. CONCERTS AND ART IN THE PARK at Creighton Living History Park in Nor th Augusta. June 20 features Shibin; June 27, the For t Gordon Signal Corps Concer t Band; July 11, the First Baptist Church of Nor th Augusta Orchestra; July 25, Sophisticated Swing Big Band. Concer ts begin at 7 p.m., except July 25 show, which begins at 8 p.m. Bring a picnic and lawn chairs or blankets to this free show. (803) 442-7588. HOPELANDS SUMMER CONCERT SERIES continues June 17 wi th Maureen Simpson. Begins 7 p.m. at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. For rain information and for those who need special assistance or accommodations, call 642-7631. JAZZ CANDLELIGHT CONCERT SERIES continues on the Eighth Street Bulkhead of Riverwalk ever y Sunday in June. June 16, the C. Anthony Carpenter Project with Ari Brown; June 23, Quiet Storm; June 30, the C. Anthony Carpenter Project with Ari Brown. Per formances from 8-9:30 p.m.; bring picnic baskets, candles, blankets and lawn chairs. $5 admission. Call Riverwalk Special Events for more information at 821-1754.

Theater

“THE HOUSEKEEPER” will be presented June 22 at 7 p.m. at the Savannah Lakes Resor t on Lake Thurmond. Show and buf fet dinner is $29.50; “Make a Night of It” package includes dinner theatre for two and a water front lodge room for $109.50. Advance reservations required and can be made by calling 1800-544-8912. “STEPHEN KING’S MISERY” will be presented June 14-15, 21-22 and 28-29 at the Abbeville Opera House in Abbeville, S.C. For tickets, call (864) 459-2157. THE JEKYLL ISLAND MUSICAL THEATRE presents three plays in rotating reper tory through July 28 at the Jekyll Island Amphitheatre in Jekyll Island, Ga. “HONK!”, “Oklahoma!” and “1776” will be presented. Call (912) 635-4060 for details.

The Joe Polk Tams and The Grapevine will be performing at the Fourth Annual Beach Blast, courtesy of Thomson, Ga. They will perform at the old Heilig Meyers Building on Washington Road, next to Gold’s Gym. For info, call the Thomson Chamber of Commerce at (706) 597-1000. “ANGELS IN AMERICA: PART ONE” is presented by the Augusta Theatre Company and runs June 21-23 and 27-29. Tickets can be purchased at the door or online at www.augustatheatre.com. For more information, call the box office at 481-9040. “BUS STOP” will be at the Aiken Community Playhouse June 14-15. Shows are at 8 p.m. (803) 648-1438. MURDER AT THE PARTRIDGE INN SERIES PERFORMANCE June 23. Tickets are $35 per person and include grand dinner buffet at 7:30 p.m. Show star ts at 8. For reservation information, call the Par tridge Inn at 737-8888, ex t. 201.

Attractions RIVERBANKS ZOO AND GARDEN EXTENDED HOURS: On weekends, Riverbanks’ admission gates open at 9 a.m. and close at 5 p.m., though visitors may stay in the park until 6 p.m. Weekday admission is from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Regular admission is $7.25 for adults and $4.75 for children ages 312. For information, call (803) 779-8717 or visit their Web site at www.riverbanks.org. THE BOYHOOD HOME OF WOODROW WILSON: Circa 1859 Presbyterian manse occupied by the family of President

Woodrow Wilson as a child during the Civil War and Reconstruction. Original and period antiques, restored house, kitchen and carriage house, located at 419 Telfair Street. Open 10 a.m. 5 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday. Tours are available. Tours for groups of 10 or more by appointment only. Admission is $5 for adults, $4 for seniors, $3 for students under 18 and free for ages five and under. For more information, call 724-0436. AUGUSTA GOLF & GARDENS OF THE GEORGIA GOLF HALL OF FAME features beautiful display gardens, as well as bronze sculptures of some of golf’s greatest masters. Available for rent for a variety of functions, including weddings, receptions, photo sessions, business lunches, cocktail par ties, bir thday par ties and more. Group discount rates are available. Closed on Mondays; open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday; open from 1 to 5 p.m. on Sunday. Admission is $5.50 for adults; $4.50 for students, seniors and military; $3.50 for children (4 to 12); free for children 3 under. Sundays are two for one with a Super Sunday coupon. Annual garden memberships are available. For more information, call 724-4443 or 1-888-874-4443. Also, visit their Web site at www.gghf.org. FORT DISCOVERY/NATIONAL SCIENCE CENTER: Children and adults alike can immerse themselves in the wonders of science through live demonstrations, vir tual realities, Starlab, KidScape and more than 270 hands-on exhibits. General Admission: $8 for adults; $6 for children, seniors and active military. Group rates available. Members enter free. Half-


contact the Aiken Technical College Continuing Education Division at (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1279.

price admission daily af ter 3 p.m. Operating hours: MondaySaturday, 10 a.m. 5 p.m.; Sunday, noon-5 p.m. For information call 821-0200, 1-800-325-5445 or visit their Web site at www.NationalScienceCenter.org.

Health

REDCLIFFE STATE HISTORIC SITE: 1859 mansion of S.C. Governor James Henry Hammond, held by the family for three generations until 1975. Hours are 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Thursday-Monday on the grounds. House tours are noon-3 p.m. by appointment. Closed Tuesday and Wednesday. Admission to the grounds is free. Fee for house tours is $3 for adults and children ages 6 to 17. For more information, call (803) 827-1473. Located at 181 Redcliffe Road, Beech Island, S.C., 29842.

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FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous J U testing, pre and post test counseling and education. N HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information.

HISTORIC COTTON EXCHANGE WELCOME CENTER: Open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sun. 1-5 p.m. River walk. Free. 724-4067.

Museums SOUTHERN MODERNISM DISCUSSION June 20 at the Morris Museum of Ar t features ar tist Philip Morsberger and poet Starkey Fly the. Star ts 7 p.m. Call the museum at 724-7501 for more info. LUNCH AT NOON LECTURE SERIES held the second Wednesday of every month at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History, 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Call the museum at 724-3576 for more information. EVENTS AT THE AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY: June film is ‘Vanishing Georgia,” playing continuously in the History Theater and is free with admission; June special exhibition is “Mark Catesby’s Natural History of the Southern Colonies, 1722-1726.” Please call 722-8454 for more information or visit www.augustamuseum.org. “THE TIES THAT BIND” African-American Ar t and Heritage Tour Program is available to students in grades 3-12. Prior to touring the Morris Museum of Ar t, a museum docent visits students in their classroom and provides a slide orientation. The program is available year-round, Tuesday-Friday, and must be scheduled at least two weeks in advance. Call the Morris Museum of Ar t at 724-7501 or visit the museum Web site at www.themorris.org. AUGUSTA MUSEUM OF HISTORY, 560 Reynolds St., Augusta. Permanent exhibitions include the award-winning “Augusta’s Story” — 12,000 years of local history from early Indians through Susan Still’s 1997 space shut tle missions. Other at tractions include the community’s medical history, a restored 1917 steam locomotive and a reconstructed 1930s gas station; documentaries shown continuously in the History Theatre. Young people will enjoy the Susan L. Still Children’s Discovery Gallery. Admission is $4 for adults, $3 for seniors and $2 for children; children under 6 are free. Free admission on Sundays. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday, 1 p.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday; closed Mondays. 722-8454. THE LUCY CRAFT LANEY MUSEUM OF BLACK HISTORY is located at 1116 Phillips St. The museum plays host to ar t exhibits, senior luncheons, youth leadership programs, ar t and history programs and more. Its hours of operation are 2 to 5 p.m. on Sundays, closed on Mondays, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Tuesday through Friday, and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. For more information, call 724-3576 or see their Web site at www.lucycraf tlaneymuseum.com. NATIONAL WILD TURKEY FEDERATION’S WILD TURKEY CENTER AND MUSEUM: 770 Augusta Highway, Edgefield. State-of-the-ar t museum celebrates the comeback of the wild turkey and features the role hunters and conservationists played in the wildlife success story. New legacy sculpture and garden; Outdoor Education Center; managing land for wildlife demonstrations; wetland habitat site and pavilion. Self-guided tours Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.; guided group weekend tours by appointment. Donation appreciated. On the Web at www.nwt f.org; (803) 637-3106. THE SIGNAL CORPS MUSEUM The museum is in Conrad Hall, Building 29807, nex t to the Signal Towers on For t Gordon. Its hours of operation are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Tuesday through Friday and 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday. For more information, call 791-2818. AIKEN COUNTY HISTORICAL MUSEUM Open 9:30 a.m.4:30 p.m. Tuesday-Friday and 2-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. (803) 642-2015. GERTRUDE HERBERT INSTITUTE OF ART, located on the corner of Fif th and Telfair Street, is housed in historic Ware’s Folly. The Institute exhibits contemporary ar t in its gallery and presents ar t classes for children, youth and adults. The

M E T R O

MCG TICK REMOVAL STUDY compares two methods of P removing ticks from humans. If you find a tick on you and I would like to par ticipate, please call Dr. Mike Felz before the R tick is removed at 721-2855, 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday-Friday. I

SACRED HEART CULTURAL CENTER is offering tours of its 100-year-old building. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-5 p.m. $1 per person, children free. 826-4700.

THE EZEKIEL HARRIS HOUSE: Deemed “the finest 18th century house surviving in Georgia” by the “Smithsonian Guide to Historic America.” Hours are Saturday, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Other times by appointment. General admission is $2; senior admission is $1 and children get in for 50 cents. For more information, call 724-0436.

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Plenty of opportunities for teens to volunteer at the Golden Harvest Food Bank. Call 736-1199 for info. Walker-MacKenzie studio hosts classes and workshops. Open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Thursday and by appointment only on Saturday. The Walker-Mackenzie Studio is open from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Tuesdays through Fridays and 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturdays. Admission is free, but donations are accepted. For more information, call 722-5495.

Special Events GREATER AUGUSTA ARTS COUNCIL’S ANNUAL AWARDS DINNER June 25 at The Pinnacle Club on the 17th floor of the First Union Bank Building. Tickets are $30 per person and reservations are required for the 6:30 p.m. reception. 826-4702. JUNE JAZZ AND ART features music by Quiet Storm and original works by Harvey F. Ramseur June 30 at 3 p.m. at American Legion Post #212. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Call (803) 644-3994 for more information. SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE on Riverwalk’s Eighth Street Plaza features CSRA bands per forming live, plus food and family fun. Held 7-11 p.m. June 15 and 29. Call Riverwalk Special Events at 821-1754. SRS CLEANUP REFORM INFORMATION SESSIONS open to the public. Nuclear Materials/Waste Management presentation 1-5 p.m. June 18 at the Nor th Augusta Community Center. Environmental Restoration presentation 6-9 p.m. June 20 at the Nor th Augusta Community Center. Depar tment of Energy workshop June 26, 5-7 p.m. at Adam’s Mark Hotel in Columbia, S.C. For more information, call 1-800-2498155 or visit ht tp://sro.srs.gov/pubact1.htm. THE AUGUSTA METRO AND COLUMBIA COUNTY CHAMBER OF COMMERCE is currently accepting nominations for the Small Businessperson of the Year Award to recognize outstanding small business owners for their personal achievements and community contributions. Selection criteria include staying power, grow th in employee number or sales volume, response to adversity, innovative product or service, contributions to the community and membership in the Augusta Metro and Columbia County Chamber of Commerce. Winner will be announced at August 29 luncheon at the Radisson River front Hotel. Nomination deadline is July 1. Contact Janna DeMot t at 821-1306. FATHER’S DAY BRUNCH at For t Gordon’s Gordon Club June 16. Tickets are $14 for adults, $7 for kids ages 6-10 and $3.50 for kids 5 and under. Call 791-6780 for more info. COLUMBIA COUNTY HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. and every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. at PetsMar t. For more info, call 860-5020. RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL AND AUGUSTA ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS holds pet adoptions at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway every Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Call AARF at 364-4747 or visit www.aar f.net. Adoptions are also held at the Richmond County Animal Control Shelter on Tuesday through Sunday from 1 to 5 p.m. For more information, call the shelter at 790-6836.

LOW-COST RABIES VACCINATIONS: Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control holds low-cost rabies vaccination clinics the four th Sunday of every month. The depar tment vaccinates privately owned pets for $8 per animal at 1 p.m. at Superpetz off Bobby Jones Expressway. Dogs must be on a leash and cats must be in a carrier. Puppies and kit tens must be three months of age and current for all other vaccinations. Schedule subject to change, so please call 7906836 for more information and to verify dates and times. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds pet adoptions every Saturday from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and every Wednesday evening from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Rd. Call 261PETS for more information.

Benefits “THROW IN THE TOWEL” event June 21 at the AugustaRichmond County Civic Center before the Augusta Stallions game. The Stallions, Fox 54 and the Ronald McDonald House sponsor the event; patrons who bring two rolls of paper towel or four rolls of toilet paper to the tent outside the game will receive vouchers for discounted game tickets. Paper products will be donated to the Ronald McDonald house. For more information, please call 724-5901. “AIKEN’S COOKIN’ WITH CELEBRITY CHEFS” June 14, 7-9 p.m. at the Aiken Municipal Building. Features cuisine prepared by 30 Aiken County celebrities. Tickets $20 in advance or $25 at the door; all proceeds benefit the Mental Health Association. Call (803) 641-4164 for more information. BARK IN THE PARK FAMILY FUN DAY to benefit animal shelters and rhe Rotary Student Program June 29. Held 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. at Diamond Lakes Park and features ar ts and craf ts, food, family events, pet services and products, pet competitions and awards. To register, call Diamond Lakes Park at 771-2980 or Sandra Gurley at 724-2601. CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY SEMI-ANNUAL YARD SALE June 15 from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Pet Center. The public may donate items for sale by bringing them to the Pet Center during adoption hours: Wednesdays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. or Saturdays, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Call to schedule other times to drop off donations. For more information, call 261-PETS.

Learning AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CAMPUS VISITATION June 29 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the ASU Science Building. Prospective students are invited to at tend, gather information from and ask questions of ASU administration, faculty and staff. Financial aid and admissions personnel will be in at tendance. Call 737-1444 or 737-1878 for more information. AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is offering the following classes during June and July: Beginning Shag, Creative Writing, Aquacise, Beginning Ballroom, Line Dance and Adobe Illustrator. Also, ASU offers online courses. For more information, including class dates, times and cost, call 737-1636 or visit www.ced.aug.edu. AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION is offering the following courses: Intro to Computers, Adobe PageMaker, Intro to Massage Therapy, Intro to Genealogy, Intro to Floral Design, Driver Education, Occupational Spanish and more. Classes begin in June. For more information or to register,

A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on the first and third Thursday of each month at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St., Augusta. Services include Pap smear, breast examination and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases. This service is available through the Medical College of Georgia Student Chapter of the American Medical Women's Association and the MCG Depar tments of Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques to use during the shared bir th experience. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids LILO & STITCH HAWAIIAN LUAU June 15 at Borders Books and Music. Call 737-6962 for more information. TEEN TALENT SHOW sponsored by Teens in Action with Goals, Inc. Held June 22, 6 p.m. at Underwood Homes Social Room. Entry deadline is June 19, and entry fee is $3 per person or $10 per group for each category entered. Open to those ages 10-18. For more information, call Wendy Lacy at 792-1088. YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576 for details. SIBSHOPS every third Saturday of the month at the MCG Children’s Medical Center Conference Center. This program is designed for siblings of children with special health and developmental needs. Phone 721-KIDS for information. KIDS’ FISHING DERBY June 15 at Claypit Lakes. Held 7:3011:30 a.m. and open to children 3-15 years. Features food and prizes. Free and open to the public. 791-5078. CAMP RAINBOW in Rutledge, Ga, is a weeklong camp for children battling cancer. Held July 21-26. For information on attending, contact the MCG Children’s Medical Center at 721-KIDS. MAXWELL BRANCH LIBRARY CHILDREN’S PROGRAMS include: Movie Day June 15, 11 a.m.; A Fire-Safe House with the Augusta Fire Depar tment June 19, 10-11 a.m.; Paper Craf ts June 26, 1-2 p.m., registration required; and Craf ts from Africa, China and Japan June 28, 10-11 a.m., registration required. 793-2020. MOVIES FOR CHILDREN Wednesdays at 1:30 p.m. at the Euchee Creek Branch Library. Call 556-0594. LEARNING ABOUT ANIMALS at area libraries. Emus at the Burke County Library, June 13, 10:30 a.m.; Learn About Insects at the Friedman Branch Library June 25, 10:30 a.m. for preschoolers and 11 a.m for school-age children. Call Headquar ters Library at 821-2600 or visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for information. PIZZA AND A MOVIE: June 25 showing of “Harry Pot ter” and pizza buffet star ting 5 p.m. $3 fee includes drink, popcorn and movie. No unat tended children. Held at For t Gordon’s Gordon Club; open to the public. 791-6780. HISTORY CAMP 2002 is presented by the Augusta Museum of History and runs June 24-28, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. For children ages 8 to 10. Theme is the American Civil War era. $35 for museum members; $50 for non-members. Reservations required and must be made by June 14. Call the museum at 722-8454 to make reservations.

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Pay no attention to the man behind all the glasses of wine. Unless, of course, you happen to be find yourself at the Morris Museum at 7 p.m. on June 20. Painter Philip Morsberger (pictured) and poet Starkey Flythe (doesn’t show up on film) will be holding a discussion on Southern Modernism. They’re both delightful artists and a lot of fun. Call 724-7501 for info. WALTON’S CAMP TBI July 14-19 at Magnolia Springs State Park. For information, call 823-8691 or e-mail jthompson@wrh.org. BOOKS-A-MILLION EVENTS: Preschool storytime, Tuesdays at 10:30 a.m.; Kids Movies, Fridays at 7 p.m.; Harry Pot ter and Pokemon Trading Card League every Saturday. For more information, call 481-9090.

“STOCK CAR RACING 101” with Donnie Allison June 25 at ASU’s PEAC Mezzanine. Class covers building the car, safety, car adjustments, sponsors, race teams, testing the car, pit crew responsibilities and racing strategies. Held from 6-9 p.m. $29 fee. Call 737-1636 for more information.

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS are held at all branches of Richmond County and Columbia County libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information.

ASA FAST PITCH STATE SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT June 14-16 at Citizens Park in Aiken. Tournament is for 10, 12, 14-under classes. Contact Rick Meyers at (803) 441-4300.

SUMMER FOOD SERVICE PROGRAM is available to eligible children ages 1-18 from through July 26. There will be more than 70 locations throughout Richmond County providing children with the same high-quality meals in the summer that they receive from the school nutrition program during the school year. For additional information, contact Joe Brandenburg at 737-7174.

AUGUSTA RECREATION AND PARKS SUMMER SWIMMING POOLS now open. Pools are located at Dyess Park, May Park, Jones Pool and Fleming Pool. Call 796-5025 for more information.

FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING Each first Saturday of the month, children and adults are invited to the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum to hear one of our many talented storytellers weave stories and folk tales into exciting adventures. In addition, they get a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon. Call 724-3576 for more information.

Seniors

THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL of fers a variety of classes in June, including aerobics, quilting group, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bridge, crochet, drawing and billiards. 826-4480. CANASTA CLUB meets every Tuesday from 12:30-3:30 p.m. at the Weeks Center in Aiken. No cost to join, and the club is open to any level player. Call (803) 642-7631. MATURE SINGLES DINNER CLUB is a new organization open to those ages 55 and over. Meets once a week at restaurants in the area for companionship and social interaction. For more information, call 399-2087 af ter 5 p.m. SENIOR CITIZENS ARTS AND CRAFTS CLUB meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10 a.m. at Smith-Hazel. Activities include ar ts and craf ts workshops, trips and holiday par ties. Those in at tendance should bring refreshments to share. For more info, call (803) 642-7635. ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING provides a broad range of activities for mature adults. Meets the second Friday of each month, Room 107 of the USC-Aiken’s Penland Administration Building. Contact the Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3288. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

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contact Kyle Schultz at 724-4423 or the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center at 863-0061.

Sports BEGINNER’S ADULT HOCKEY LEAGUE held through August 15 at the Augusta Ice Spor ts Center. For more information,

OPEN SWIM at the Smith Hazel pool through August. Held Monday-Friday, 1-6 p.m.; Saturday, noon-5 p.m.; Sunday, 1-5 p.m. Cost for children is 50 cents and adults pay $1. Call (803) 642-7755 for more information. EAST DISTRICT SPORTS FESTIVAL events are held in Augusta, Grovetown, Springfield and Statesboro through July 4, with the championships in Augusta July 12-21, and are presented by the Georgia State Games Commission. Open to all residents, regardless of age or skill level. Events include archery, baseball, basketball, bicycle riding, bowling, fishing, racquetball, sof tball, tennis and tae kwon do. For more information, call the Georgia State Games Commission at (770) 528-3585 or visit www.georgiagames.org. AUGUSTA STALLIONS HOME GAMES for the 2002 season are: June 21 and July 5, 20, 27. Season tickets star t at $40. Contact the Stallions ticket office at 738-9539 for season and individual game tickets. AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES June 13-16, 2730; July 1-2, 5-8, 19-26 and 31; August 1-3, 14-21, 26-28 30-31; and September 1-2. Ticket prices range from $6-$8, with special discounts for children and seniors. Sundays are Family Fest/Junior Jacket days, Tuesdays are “Two Fer” Tuesdays/Team Trivia and Thursdays are Thirsty Thursdays. For tickets, call 736-7889 or go to www.tixonline.com. Also check out www.greenjackets.net. THE G.O.A.L.L.S. PROGRAM AT WALTON REHABILITATION HOSPITAL is offering golf clinics for those with physical disabilities. Future clinics are planned for the second Tuesday of each month at the First Tee of Augusta. Golfers do not have to be affiliated with Walton to par ticipate. If you are interested in par ticipating, please contact Judie Thompson, G.O.A.L.L.S. Coordinator at 823-8691.

Volunteer RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES held through June 14 in the Aiken and Augusta areas. Call the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center at 868-8800 for more information. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers to help sor t and pack food collected from the National Association of Let ter Carriers food drive. Volunteers needed MondayFriday, 8:30 a.m.-noon shif t and 1-4:30 p.m. shif t. Groups


of 10 or more, please call in advance. For information, contact Laurie at 736-1199, ex t. 208. OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGRAM is looking for volunteers to serve hot, nutritious meals to needy older residents. To volunteer in suppor t of senior nutrition programs, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480, or visit your nearest par ticipating senior center. For those in need of home-delivered meals, please apply with the Area Agency on Aging at 210-2018 or toll free at 1-888-922-4464. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: Help Augusta-Richmond County Animal Control improve the lives of stray dogs and cats housed at our shelter by volunteering your time. New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of every month at 11 a.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change, so please call 7906836 for information and to verify dates and times. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers who are willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind the GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Please call 261PETS for more information.

LL A E TH E W N

SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 7374551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

Meetings THE BERTHMARKS TENT Laurel & Hardy Appreciation Club will be meeting June 18, 6:30 p.m. at the Harlem Library. For more information, contact Harlem City Hall at 556-3448 or harlemcityhall@char ter.net. AUGUSTA-AIKEN SOCIETY FOR HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT meeting June 21, 7:30-9:15 a.m. at the Radisson River front Hotel. Topic is “America’s Future: What to Expect and How to Get Ready,” presented by Major General Perry Smith. $15 fee includes breakfast. To make reservations, call Maria Defever at (803) 442-7812. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS will hold its monthly

meeting June 18 at 6 p.m. All office professionals are welcome. Contact Sandi Harrell at 667-6410. CSRA CHAPTER OF THE GEORGIA ASSOCIATION OF PUBLIC ACCOUNTANTS nex t meeting is June 20, 8:15 a.m. at Athens Restaurant and Taverna. Floyd King Lit tle, E.A. will speak on the IRS and collection mat ters. To reserve a spot, contact Richard Chambers at 650-2299. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN SINGLES GOLF ASSOCIATION meets the second Thursday of each month at Damon’s Restaurant from 6:30-8:30 p.m. No admission for meeting, but at tendees are responsible for any thing ordered. RSVP by noon the Tuesday prior to meeting at 24 hour hotline: (803) 441-6741 or 650-1254. ASGA also holds golf outings and socials. Call (803) 441-6741 or 1888-465-3628 for more information. SLIDE SHOW OF STONE MOUNTAIN PARK featured at the Sierra Club’s June meeting. The public is invited to view slides taken by nature photographer Larry Winslet t and discuss effor ts to protect the park. Meeting is June 18, 7:30 p.m. at the Unitarian Church on Walton Way Ex t. Call 8632324 or visit ht tp://georgia.sierraclub.org/srg/ for info.

THE AUGUSTA SKI AND OUTING CLUB is a non-profit organization for those who enjoy snow skiing, boating, camping, whitewater raf ting, cycling and other outdoor recreation. Meets 6:45 p.m. the first Tuesday of every month at the Cot ton Patch. Club interests should be directed to (803) 279-6186. AUGUSTA CHAPTER OF PEOPLE FIRST, a self-advocacy group for people with disabilities holds meetings the last Monday of each month at St. Marks United Methodist Church from 6-8 p.m. For more information, call 399-9869. GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA, 30914 or Fa x (706) 733-6663. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

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It’s FREE! On the Bricks Concert Series in Full Swing

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our mission, should you choose to accept it, is to rendezvous with other music lovers at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta to conduct surveillance on popular performers during the On the Bricks concert series. This is the second year this phenomenon has taken place. It will likely keep happening. So far, the likes of India.Arie, Rusted Root and The Calling have been seen performing. It occurs at Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta every Friday night, and is expected to run until Aug. 16. According to statements released by the powers-that-be, the second week, May 31, lured 30,000 music fans for a night of fun. That’s the night headlined by Rusted Root – whose fun and funky hit, “Send Me on My Way,” you may remember. Fans also enjoyed Alice Peacock, Recovery and Acres that evening. June 14 brings Alanis Morissette, the Pat McGee Band, Janah and Parmalee. Here’s what’s on for the rest of the summer: June 21: Michelle Branch (she had a hit song called “Everywhere” with a rockin’ happy tune and spooky lyrics), Res, Marathon, Jag Star. June 28: They Might Be Giants (then again...), Superdrag, Lake Trout, Stereoblis. July 5: Stay home. There will be no show that night. Get some sleep. Do homework. Match your socks. Read The Spirit.

July 19: Sister Hazel, Edwin McCain, Caitlin Cary (who will be performing at Crossroads bar in Augusta the night before), The Charlie Mars Band. July 26: Special Guest, Jennifer Nettles Band, Jude, 6 Against 7. Aug. 2: Better Than Ezra, Cracker, RANA, Lotustarr. Aug. 9: Hootie & the Blowfish, The Smithereens, Brizz, Breakfast Club. Aug. 16: This is your absolute last chance to experience On the Bricks this year. Scheduled acts are Blues Traveler, Ingram Hill, King Konga, Trucker. Gates open at 5:30 p.m., which should give you plenty of time to get settled in for the first band, who will begin at 6:00 for a 45-minute set. The second band will perform from 7:15 to 8 p.m., and the third band begins at 8:30. Headliner begins at 9:45 and plays until 11:00. If your music appetite is not well-fed by then, you should see a doctor. The On the Bricks dudes strongly suggest that you do not bring dogs, backpacks, food, drink, coolers or cameras into the park. Alien babies, elephants, flying carpets and light sabers are probably OK. For info visit www.onthebricks.com. Good luck, and listen well.

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Sloppy Seconds Is a Guilty Pleasure

35 M E T R O

BY RHONDA JONES

A

ccording to Sloppy Seconds lead singer BA, you might be the type who thinks you’re above sitting down for an episode of “Jerry Springer” and other junky helpings, but that doesn’t mean you won’t like his band. “We’re pretty much old-school ‘70-style punk rock band,” he said. “We say ‘junk rock’ because a lot of the songs that we do are about junk culture – parties and cartoons.” Which pretty much fits the shows that they do, according to Mr. A. “They tend to be pretty well partying shows, really,” he says. “The crowd’s just kind of expecting a good time. It’s loud music, but I wouldn’t say aggressive. It just kind of makes you want to stand up and pump your fist a little.” He has a theory about his music. “The thing that I always thought set punk rock apart was the level of equality between the audience and the performers,” he said. “They’re not unapproachable rock stars. They just happen to be the ones onstage.” There’s a sort of unexpected humility in that statement that suggests the thing that BA says next: “Definitely with our band, we’re as much fans of the music as purveyors.” Another surprise is BA’s comparison of punk rock with traditional blues and jazz. What he means by that, he says, is that punk is a performance art. The recording just doesn’t capture the entirety of the experience. This writer, who at the moment doesn’t listen to punk, asks if punk is geared toward being a visual experience. “Yeah, I’d say it is. It depends on the night.” But what he proceeds to describe sounds more like 3D. He says that in their bar shows, you could get sprayed with beer, or wind up onstage in a wrestling match with the band. Plus, there’s lots of screaming, drum-banging and grinding guitar. If sound were a color, I’d say they were eye-popping lime green with jagged red edges.

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“We don’t put songs together about trying to save the world or anything,” BA says. “It’s more like, ‘Let’s get drunk and forget there’s anything wrong.’” Well, all right. Then there’s the funny stuff. “Our songs are very much tongue-in-cheek,” BA says. Doesn’t mean that they don’t hit home, though, he added. “You’ve Got a Great Body, but Your Record Collection Sucks” is about needing to make that mental connection with people. “Why Don’t Lesbians Love Me?” has nothing to do with this paragraph, but the

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title’s funny, so I thought I’d mention it. Sloppy Seconds will be at the Capri Cinema on June 15, with Flamin’ Anus, which makes some of us wonder if there isn’t some sort of theme night happening here. Local boys The Decrepits will be joining them for a night of earsplitting, fist-pumping fun. (They have a song about a pit bull. Just so you’ll know.) Doors open at 7. More info on the show, and a bunch of cool links, can be found at www.geocities.com/thedecrepits/.

COMEDY IS BACK! Coyote’s Presents Killer Beaz Live One Show Only Wednesday June 26th Doors Open at 7:00 pm Show Starts at 9:00 pm Tickets Are: $12 in advance $15 day of the show After the Show - Some of the Prettiest Ladies in the CSRA compete for cash in Coyote’s Bikini Contest Thurs Ladies Night - Ladies drink free with cover Men compete in Frozen Boxer Shorts Contest Fri & Sat - Always a howling good time in the CSRA’s Hottest Night Spot Rhes Reeves, Shelly Watkins & The Coyote Ugly Band on stage nightly

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Thursday, 13th Aiken Brewing Co. - DJ Bhoomer’s Bar - Dance Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Cotton Patch - DJ Midlife Crisis Coyote’s - Ladies’ Night, Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Eagle’s Nest - Richardean Norwood, Michael Johnson, Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fishbowl Lounge - Blind-Draw Dar ts Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Greene Street’s - Men’s National Karaoke Contest Highlander - ‘Smath sinn Dragon Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Last Call - Ma x from 95 Rock hosts Barroom Olympics, DJ Richie Rich Logan’s Roadhouse - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Marlboro Station - Talent Night Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw, Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - Pool and Dar t Leagues Safari Lounge Aiken - Ladies’ Night, Karaoke Salsa’s Bar and Grill - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Shannon’s - Steve Chapell Sidestreets/Barracks - Karaoke Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - Jucifer, The Carrie Nations, The Decrepits Sports Pub and Grill - Spor ts Trivia The Spot - Open Booth Night Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music TGI Friday’s - Joe Stevenson Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - DJ Dan

Friday, 14th Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Aiken Brewing Co. - Keith “Fossill” Gregory American Legion Post No. 63 - Dance Back yard Tavern - Karaoke, Horseshoes Bhoomer’s Bar - Pool Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Borders - Terri Gibbs Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Capri Cinema - Ethan Fouler, Paint the Sky Red Charlie O’s - Live Music Coconuts - Miss Hawaiian Tropic with DJ Doug Cotton Patch - Black-Eyed Susan Country Ranch - Live Music Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Haley Rowland Benefit with The Vellotones, The Jimmy Archer Blues Project, Vagabond Missionaries, Drop Level D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Karaoke Finish Line Cafe - DJ Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks Gordon Club - Flavor Fridays Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Highlander - Live Music

Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Jerri’s Place - Special Blend Joe’s Underground - Clif f Bennet t Band Kokopelli’s - Jemani Last Call - Ladies’ Night, Dakota West, Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche, Blind Draws Marbury Center - Bio Ritmo Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Partridge Inn - The C. Anthony Carpenter Project Patti’s - Free Pool Private I - Disco Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Loose Theory Richard’s Place - Midnight Magic Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Night with DJ Shannon’s - Magic Rhy thm Band Shuck’s - Opticon Sidestreets/Barracks - Ladies’ Night, Cabaret Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs The Spot - Live DJ Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - Tokyo Joe

Saturday, 15th American Legion Post No. 63 - Fiesta Dance Par ty with the Crossroads Band Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Bhoomer’s Bar - Pool Par ty, Live Enter tainment Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Borders - Jim Perkins Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford Capri Cinema - Sloppy Seconds, The Decrepits, Flamin’ Anus Charlie O’s - Live Music, Military Night Coconuts - DJ Doug Coliseum - Hollywood Creations Male Revue Cotton Patch - Black-Eyed Susan Country Ranch - Karaoke Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Crossroads - Zoso, Horsepower D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Finish Line Cafe - DJ, Dar t Tournament, Karaoke Fishbowl Lounge - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks, Blind-Draw Dar ts Gordon Club - Salsa Night Greene Street’s - Karaoke with DJ Penny Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Joe's Underground - Vurge Kokopelli’s - Lithium Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - The Niche Marlboro Station - Show Night with Special Guest Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Barroom Olympics Private I - Disco, Live Jazz and R&B Rae’s Coastal Cafe - Live Music Rhy thm and Blues Exchange - Loose Theory Richard’s Place - DJ Mike the Outlaw Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Karaoke Shuck’s - Opticon Shannon’s - Magic Rhy thm Band Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - ‘80s Night The Spot - Live DJ Squeak y’s Tip-Top - Live Music

Justin Riccio, of Bio Ritmo, explains how salsa works: “In a salsa band, the basic idea is very similar to rock ‘n’ roll. Ordinarily there’s no guitar. That’s one difference. The piano is the main instrument to play your chords.” There are two or three different percussionists, he says. He plays timbale, but there is also a conga player and a bongo player. They have eight members, though they have had up to a dozen, which makes for a layered sound that a very basic band structure, such as you find in rock bands, cannot give. For that reason, he says, the musicians can’t just go nuts. “You can’t overplay in a salsa band. If you do, it just destroys the groove.” It is important to Riccio that people understand that there is a difference between what his band does and what Ricky Martin and Jennifer Lopez do: Even though this Jersey-born Italian-American no es Latino, his music is; even though Martin and J. Lo son Latinos, their music is pop. “I think a lot of people did start to hear that (pop by Latinos) and start to assume that was the true music. I think a lot of times they were pleasantly surprised,” he said, upon coming to see Bio Ritmo. However, he said, having the Latin pop stars prime the fans can work in his favor by making the listeners more willing. “They’re not as quick to go, ‘That’s weird; I don’t want to hear it.’” And they’re faithful to the form. Riccio started out banging skins for a punk band; the bassist moonlights in a rock ‘n’ roll band. The lead singer is a techno-spinning DJ. “So we all have a lot of influences,” he said. “But when it comes to playing in our band, we never try to mess with the foundation.” Bio Ritmo will play June 14 at the Marbury Center. Time Piecez - ‘80s Ladies’ Night Veracruz - Live Music Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company Whiskey Junction - Tokyo Joe

Sunday, 16th Adams Nightclub - Dance Par ty with DJ Tim Back yard Tavern - Karaoke Cafe Du Teau - Buzz Clif ford and The Last Bohemian Quar tet Capri Cinema - 7 Angels 7 Plagues, A Death for Every Sin, Wage of Sin, onefallsdown Cotton Patch - Wayne Capps Country Ranch - Jam Sessions Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Marlboro Station - Starlight Cabaret with Claire Storm and Lauren Alexander Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Shannon’s - Shelley Watkins TGI Friday’s - John Whiskey Junction - Starlight Karaoke

Monday, 17th

Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Coliseum - Q.A.F. Continuum - Monday Madness with DJ Freeman Crossroads - Monday Night Dance Par ty Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Finish Line Cafe - Open Pool Tournament Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo Highlander - Dar t League Honk y Tonk - Blues Monday featuring Robbie Ducey Band and Special Guest Joe’s Underground - John Kokopelli’s - Dar t Teams Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Dar ts Michael’s - Karaoke with Hugh Barrow Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Trivia Night with Skin Tight Red Lion - Open Mic Night Richard’s Place - Dar ts Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G Safari Lounge Aiken - Shag Lessons Veracruz - Wayne Capps

Tuesday, 18th Bhoomer’s Bar - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Big Iron Saloon - Russell Bonham Club Incognito - DJ Richie Rich


Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday Docker’s - Pool Tournament D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Elks Lodge - Line Dancing Fraternal Order of Eagles - Bingo French Market Grille West - Wayne Capps Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Highlander - Open Mic Acoustic Jam Session Joe’s Underground - John Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - Karaoke, Ladies’ Night Metro Coffeehouse - Irish Music Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Patti’s - Pool Tournament Pizza Joint - John & Andy Red Lion - Dancing Under the Influence Robbie’s Sports Bar - Ladies’ Night Somewhere in Augusta - Trivia Sports Pub and Grill - Trivia

Wednesday, 19th

Bhoomer’s Bar - Ladies’ Night Big Iron Saloon - Ladies’ Night, Russell Bonham Coconuts - DJ Coliseum - Talent Search Continuum - The Show Off with Comedian Joe King Cotton Patch - Trivia with Mat t Stovall Coyote’s - Rhes Reeves, Shelley Watkins and the Coyote Ugly Band Docker’s - Free Pool D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Euchee Creek Sports Bar - Ladies’ Night Finish Line Cafe - Blind-Draw Greene Street’s - National Karaoke Contest Honk y Tonk - The Duke Boys Hooters - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t Joe’s Underground - Elliot Holden Group Kokopelli’s - Ladies’ Night Logan’s Roadhouse - Trivia Luck y Ladies Bar and Grill - Pool League Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Mulligan’s Nitelife - DJ Playground - Jenga Competition Richard’s Place - Pool League Robbie’s Sports Bar - DJ Mykie G, Free Pool Shannon’s - Steve Chapell Silver Bullet Lounge - The Big Dogs Soul Bar - Live Jazz The Spot - Live DJ TGI Friday’s - Trivia Wheeler Tavern - Flashback and Company

Elsewhere

Dave Koz and Friends - Atlanta Civic Center, Atlanta - June 13 KMFDM - Masquerade, Atlanta - June 13 Alanis Morissette, The Pat McGee Band Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - June 14 Indigo Girls - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 14-15 Swingin’ Medallions - Chateau Elan Winery and Resor t, Braselton, Ga. - June 15 Squad Five-O - Under the Couch, Atlanta - June 15 Ben Folds - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - June 15 Brooks and Dunn - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 16 Jewel - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 17 Danzig - Roxy Theatre, Atlanta - June 18 Scorpions, Deep Purple - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 19 Tweet - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - June 20 Michelle Branch - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - June 21 Ellen DeGeneres - Atlanta Symphony Hall, Atlanta - June 21 The Tams and The Drifters - Big Pond Music Park, Met ter, Ga. - June 22 The B-52s, Inxs - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 23 Appalachian Connection - Memorial Park, Blowing Rock, N.C. - June 23 Elvis Costello - Chastain Park, Atlanta - June 24 Incubus, Hoobastank - Enter tainment and Spor ts Arena, Raleigh, N.C. - June 24; Cricket Arena, Charlot te, N.C. - June 25 They Might Be Giants, Superdrag - Centennial Olympic Park, Atlanta - June 28 Jimmy Buffett - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 29 Kenny Chesney - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 3 Cat Power - EARL, Atlanta - July 3 Dave Matthews Band - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 8 Heart - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 8 Lil’ Romeo - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - July 10 Jeep World Outdoor Festival with Sher yl Crow, Train - Hi-Fi Buys Amphi theatre, Atlanta - July 11 Usher - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 14 Willie Nelson, Leann Womack - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 15 Mary J. Blige - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 16 Alicia Keys - Chastain Park, Atlanta - July 22 John Mellencamp - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - July 23 Ozzfest ‘02 - Hi-Fi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta July 28

Club Directory Adams Nightclub - 738-8811 Aiken Brewing Co. - (803) 502-0707 American Legion Post 63 - 733-9387 The Backyard Tavern - 869-8695 Big Iron Saloon - 774-9020 Bhoomer’s Bar - 364-3854 Borders - 737-6962 Cafe Du Teau - 733-3505 Capri Cinema - Eighth and Ellis Street Charlie O’s - 737-0905 Club Incognito - 836-2469 Coconuts - 738-8133 Coliseum - 733-2603 Continuum - 722-2582 Cot ton Patch - 724-4511 Country Ranch - (803) 867-2388 Coyote’s - 560-9245 Crossroads - 724-1177 Docker’s - (803) 302-1102 D. Timm’s - 774-9500 Eagle’s Nest - 722-5541 Elks Lodge - 855-7162 Euchee Creek Spor ts Bar - 556-9010 Finish Line Cafe - 855-5999 Fishbowl Lounge - 790-6810 Fox’s Lair - 828-5600 Fraternal Order of Eagles - 790-8040 French Market Grille West - 855-5111 Gordon Club - 791-6780 Greene Street’s Lounge - 823-2002 Hangnail Gallery - 722-9899 Highlander - 278-2796 Honky Tonk - 560-0551 Hooters - 736-8454 Jerri’s Place - 722-0088 Joe’s Underground - 724-9457 Kokopelli’s - 738-1881 Last Call - 738-8730

Logan’s Roadhouse - 738-8088 Lucky Ladies Bar and Grill - 651-0110 Marlboro Station - (803) 644-6485 Metro Coffeehouse - 722-6468 Michael's- 733-2860 Modjeska - 303-9700 Mulligan’s Nitelife - 738-1079 Nacho Mama’s - 724-0501 Par tridge Inn - 737-8888 Pat ti’s - 793-9303 Pizza Joint - 774-0037 The Playground - 724-5399 Private I - 793-9944 Rae’s Coastal Cafe - 738-1313 Red Lion Pub - 736-7707 Rhythm and Blues Exchange - 774-9292 Richard’s Place - 793-6330 Robbie’s Spor ts Bar - 738-0866 Ron’s Tavern - (803) 613-0255 Safari Lounge Aiken - (803) 641-1100 Salsa’s Bar & Grill - 855-6868 Shannon's - 860-0698 Shuck's - 724-7589 Sidestreets - 481-8829 Silver Bullet Lounge - 737-6134 Somewhere In Augusta - 739-0002 The Soul Bar - 724-8880 The Spot - (803) 819-0095 Spor ts Pub and Grill - 432-0448 Squeaky’s Tip-Top - 738-8886 Surrey Tavern - 736-1221 TGI Friday’s - 736-8888 Time Piecez - 828-5888 Treybon - 724-0632 Tropical Paradise - 312-8702 Veracruz - 736-4200 Wheeler Tavern - 868-5220 Whiskey Junction - (803) 649-0794

Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by

Upcoming

calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets

Killer Beaz - Coyotes - June 26

may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to

Locobazooka featuring Sevendust, Filter and more - Augusta Exchange Club Fairgrounds - July 6

change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com.

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n May, Great Britain’s Home Office, deciding on the proper compensation for a man who served 11 years in prison for a murder he did not commit, ruled that he was entitled to about $1.1 million, but said he would have to reimburse the prison about $63,000 for 11 years’ room and board. Said the outraged Michael O’Brien, 34, who had been freed by a Court of Appeal in 1999: “They don’t charge guilty people for bed and board. They only charge innocent people.” • “Hundreds” of young Chinese women and men have recently endured the painful-for-months “Ilizarov procedure” to gain a few inches in height to supposedly improve their social and professional status. According to a May New York Times dispatch, the $6,000 procedure involves breaking bones in the shins or thighs, then manually adjusting special leg braces four times a day that pull the bones slightly apart, then waiting until the bones grow back and fuse together (which usually takes about six months, plus a three-month recovery). Said one 33-year-old, 5-foot-tall woman (aiming for 5’4”): “I’ll have a better job, a better boyfriend, and eventually, a better husband. It’s a long-term investment.”

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Animal Rights Update • Germany’s Lower House of Parliament voted in May to add “and animals” to its constitution’s guarantee of protection for the dignity of humans. On the other hand, the director of Washington, D.C.,’s National Zoo denied The Washington Post a look at its animals’ medical records in May in part to protect the animals’ right of “privacy,” a claim which stunned at least one animal-rights advocate. And a British ad agency came under fire in May for a cutesy commercial featuring a dog engaging (via trick photography) in X-rated undulations (supposedly imitating what he observed at a certain randy-young-singles’ resort); critics said the dog in the ad was being held up to “ridicule and indignity.” Government in Action • What was described in a January Times of London story as an obscure panel of European Union bureaucrats (the Nomenclature sub-group of the Customs Code Committee) has been meeting in Brussels off and on for months now for the purpose of deciding the thorny question of how many lumps (20 percent to 30 percent) are permissible in a can of mushroom (or pasta) sauce before those foods are classified as “vegetables,” which would be subject to much higher import taxes than “sauces.” As of late May, there has been no announcement from the sub-group. • Among the most notable “pork barrel” projects in the FY 2002 federal budget, according to Citizens Against Government Waste, were: $273,000 for Blue Springs,

Mo., to fight the incursion of “goth” culture among its young; $50,000 for San Luis Obispo, Calif., to remove gang members’ tattoos; $450,000 to restore chimneys on Cumberland Island, Ga.; $240,000 for pecan research; $260,000 to explore asparagus technology; $200,000 to upgrade a kayak river course in Wausau, Wis.; and $600,000 to research the sex life of the South African ground squirrel. • According to a January report of the Department of Energy’s inspector general, federal facilities in Tennessee and Ohio actually tested, in all seriousness, a procedure that was no more than a fancy dowsing device (“passive magnetic resonance anomaly mapping”) worn on the wrist of an operator, who senses underground water, faults, buried objects and chemicals, via supposed changes in “magnetic fields.” Apparently, no one at the facilities was skeptical, even though the contractor said only one person in the world was “qualified” to operate the PMRAM, and he lives in the Ukraine. • Rodney Jones of Mendocino, Calif., was the victim of “identity theft” in 1999, facilitated by the Department of Motor Vehicles’ issuing a duplicate license to the thief (who is black; Jones is white). Eventually, his records were restored, but his attempt to get DMV to pay for the inconvenience to him failed when a state appeals court ruled in April 2002 that DMV could not be held liable for issuing the bogus license. According to Jones, DMV has throughout refused to give him the name of the identity thief, citing applicants’ “privacy” rights. • In November, the District of Columbia Department of Corrections carelessly failed to release a homeless man after charges against him were dropped because, according to The Washington Post, computer records were not updated. (He stayed in jail for five months.) And the same department, also according to the Post, mistakenly released a bank robber in March, then tracked him down at his mother’s home by telephone and told him to report back to jail, but the department did not bother to send anyone to the home to get him. (He eventually returned on his own.) People With Issues • James O. Riccardi III, 42, was charged with five misdemeanor counts by Higginsville, Mo., police in May in connection with bizarre phone calls to high school athletes in which the caller pretends to be a University of Missouri coach offering scholarships but then turns the conversation to the students’ spanking their bare buttocks to show their dedication to college sports. The university said it has received 86 complaints about similar calls to student athletes throughout Kansas and Missouri. [St. Louis PostDispatch-AP, 5-26-02] Least Competent Criminals • Justin Aragon, 19, was arrested in March in Albuquerque, N.M., and charged with roughing up his girlfriend and threatening to kill members of her family. According to police, his reign of terror came to an end in the incident when he collapsed and hit his head on a coffee table after informing the victim that he had laced her drink with a toxic substance but then had accidentally drunk it himself. — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate


Brezsny's

wall shout deadlines through 2004.” I present this testimony, Virgo, in the hope that it will move you to undo and dissolve anything in your own sphere that resembles the mood it describes. You can’t be even mildly successful in the coming weeks unless you slowwwww wwwwway down.

Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Have you had any productive fantasies about faraway places or exotic sanctuaries or mercurial X-factors lately? Have you sent any messages to freedomfighters or remote beauties or high-flying networkers? Have you been monitoring the progress of unsung helpers or dark horses or unification specialists who are flying under the radar? If you’ll notice, Aries, I’m hinting that in the near future, everything will come in threes — except when it comes in twos, and that’ll mean you should track down the missing third. As a general rule, there are no other general rules, except this: Don’t make the call of the wild wait and wait and wait.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

It looks like the war in heaven has been downgraded to a mere skirmish in your mind. And even that may soon be winding down into nothing more than a kind of pillow fight or tickling match. Already I can envision the lonely bull and sacred cow striking up a hot bargain over a soundtrack of futuristic love songs. Already I foresee the red-eyed angel apologizing for the rude oversights and coming to fling a few blessings on anyone who’s alert enough to grab them.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

The Amish people follow strict customs that dramatically set them apart from the rest of us. In a quest for simplicity, they refrain from using electricity and driving cars. Their clothes are ascetic and old-fashioned, and they don’t use alcohol or drugs. Even battery-operated TVs are taboo, since they’d allow Amish households to be invaded by our culture’s vulgarity. Yet these understated folks also have a tradition called rumspringa, or “running around.” At age 16, every member of the community is given the opportunity to try on the crazy values of the outside world. If after a period of carousing they decide they prefer the quiet life they grew up with, they’re welcomed back. I encourage you to consider going on your own version of rumspringa in the coming

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

I love how undignified some spectators allow themselves to be at professional sports events. With no concern for how ridiculous others might think them, they wear giant foam rubber hats resembling cheese wedges. They paint their bellies with the home team’s insignia and go shirtless outdoors in subfreezing weather. They scream nonsense words and make strange faces and wave their arms in frantic salutes. I suspect that some of these folks might be bodhisattvas in disguise — wise tricksters modeling the beauty and power of being oblivious to appearing foolish. I sometimes recommend this approach to life, Libra — especially now that you’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when it’s crucial not to take anything too seriously.

weeks, Gemini. Escape from your familiar customs, and try on beliefs and styles you’ve always wondered about.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Writing for TheSpark.com, Christian Rudder asserts that not only do Eskimos have 34 words for snow, they also have 47 terms meaning, “This sucks.” I hope this serves as inspiration for the assignment the heavenly omens have authorized me to give you, Cancerian, which is to purge all the bile from your system in one fell swoop. You heard me right. Set aside an hour when you will perform a Ritual of Arrrrgggghhhhh. Express every last drop of disgust, resentment, self-pity, irritation, and anger that is infecting your beautiful organism. Come up with 47 ways to express the sentiment, “This sucks.” There is a method in my madness, I assure you. By thoroughly disgorging the backlog of toxic psychic waste, you will create a clean, empty space into which sweet blessings can flow in the weeks after this.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Believing in things you can’t see may sometimes be hazardous to your intelligence, but then so is a fanatical faith in the infallible authority of the scientific method. This theme will be especially apropos for you in the coming week, Scorpio, when superstitious spouters of mumbo-jumbo will be fighting it out with know-it-alls who try to cloak their irrationality and emotional biases in reasonable language. So what is a truth-loving Scorpio to do? I say take the middle path between the frothy believers and the dogmatic skeptics. Be both a practical mystic and a lover of supple objectivity.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Now in his 80s, Jim Bellows served as an editor for several influential American newspapers. Recently, he published a book about his legendary career. It’s ambitiously called “The Last Editor: How I Saved The New York Times, The Washington Post, and the Los Angeles Times from Dullness and Complacency.” Please borrow the spirit of Bellows’ subtitle, Leo, and use it to name your own life story for a while. Try something like “How I Saved Everyone I Like and Even Some People That Annoy Me from Dullness, Complacency, Mediocrity and Apathy.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

If I hung out with you this week, Sagittarius, I’d probably feel fascination and agitation mixed with sweetness and confusion. Being in your presence might have a resemblance to lounging in a hot tub while hassling on the phone with a friend whose feelings I’d hurt. Being with you might be like dancing to inspiring music all night around a beach bonfire with my tribe, knowing that earlier that day my landlord had given me notice and I had to start looking for a new place to live. Being with you in the coming days might have a certain similarity to eating pizza-flavored ice cream, or watching “Fear Factor” on TV with the sound off while listening to a new

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“My house is stuck in fast forward,” begins a sixthgrade student’s response to a creative writing assignment. “The moment you walk in, you are sucked into another dimension. It reeks with sound and motion. Stillness does not exist. TVs are babbling without being watched. Music is blaring without being heard. Tomorrow night’s dinner is cooking. Schedules on the

New York Times Crossword Puzzle y

1 7

13 15 16

18 19 20 21 24 27 28 31 34

ACROSS Magic practicer What “Bethesda” means Shout of praise Goblet With 37- and 38-Across, a musing Lap dogs Eastern “way” Community spirit “Brian’s Song” or “Roots” Big inits. in bowling Historian Durant ___-Bo exercise Person with a stick Beautyrest company

See 16-Across They may get quarters downtown Speech impediment? Govt. medical agency Kind of center Sound after a puncture 1958 Edna Ferber novel St. Teresa’s town Year in the Amazon “___ the loneliest number” 16-, 37- and 38-Across, e.g. Olympic Airways founder

37 & 38 39

41 42 43 45 46 50 53 54

58 61

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE T H A N K S D A B A

O A T E R S E W E R

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F R O R I P O F T T I T C I O T H B W A O R W K

M Y I O T O T T H S H O D O T H E W E S I O E N C O T H V E E M R P

M O D E R N M A N A F T E R

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Tenant Gauge

DOWN U.P.S., say British vice admiral in the American Revolution “Dilbert” intern Like a lion “___ It Goes” (Ellerbee book) San Antonio-toFt. Worth dir. “Evita” role Women’s group Prince Valiant’s wife Kind of helmet Off-the-wall reply Bottom of the barrel Conductor Toscanini Washing dishes, taking out the garbage, etc. Dry wash Actress Tia “Arabian Nights” hero Mideast capital New Zealander Dogs do it Geometrical solid “___ Ghost” (Michael Ondaatje novel) Parts of car test courses ___ Na Na

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I’m here today to read you your rights, Capricorn. 1. You have the right to prove you’re not chicken without actually playing chicken. 2. You have the right to put fewer hours into building other people’s fantasies and more hours into building your own. 3. You have the right to stop trying to meet the right people in the wrong places. 4. You have the right to remain silent, but I wouldn’t advise it. 5. You have the right to ignore the flavor of the week and the fad of the month so you’ll be fully available when the tough love opportunity of the year comes along.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The brilliant San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll recently corrected some misinformation he’d provided in an earlier piece. “My dreamy view of the dissent during the Civil War was perhaps just a tiny bit completely wrong,” he noted, then went on to admit that President Lincoln ruthlessly quashed dissidents. “My apologies to the truth,” Carroll concluded. I love that line. It suggests the truth is a living entity with which one can have a relationship. Which brings me to my point, Aquarius. I urge you to have a long conversation with the truth, summing up the recent developments between you. You could start with something like, “I never knew how gorgeous and sexy you are.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

I’ve noticed an uncanny uniformity of theme arising in the Piscean experience lately. Members of the Fish tribe have been emailing me in unusually large numbers, seeking my help in addressing what they have variously called “an ambition deficiency,” “a missing rung on the ladder of success,” and “a lagging fire in the belly.” Here’s my counsel: Tune in intensely to your feeling of alarm about the deficit. It’s the best possible way to activate your sleeping reserves of ingenuity and passion. In other words, the best cure for your lack of motivation is to get upset about it. — © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

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age meditation CD. No, my dear, you definitely won’t be boring.

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Film director Kotcheff Computer unit, for short Fold, spindle or mutilate Poppy parts Rubber Mandlikova of tennis “___ My Sugar in Salt Lake City” (1943 hit) Grounds Hooded covers

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Organic compounds Get an ___ effort Turbine part One-named supermodel

55 56 57 59 60

Iroquoian Indian Union agreements? I.R.S. ID’s Military address Word with black or green

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’m a 23-year-old guy, working full-time while attending school. I’ve been seeing my 20-year-old girlfriend for over a year. After six months, she said she loved me. I do love her, but I never said it back. She knows my bad relationship with my dad is the reason I’m emotionally guarded. Thanks to my busy schedule and my inability to express my emotions, she’s always felt neglected. Recently, she told me she’s not sure she loves me anymore. She said a coworker had kissed her. She let it happen for a few seconds, then stopped it, telling him she was confused. Almost losing her made me open up, and I told her how much I care for her. I made her promise that the nex t time she gets an urge to kiss another guy, she’ll tell me before any thing happens. Now I’m wondering whether I made a mistake by forgiving her. Everyone I’ve asked says I have. —Kissed Off Sometimes it’s best to be boring. When someone says, “Have a nice day,” you’ll avoid tiresome questions by responding, “Thank you,” instead of blur ting out, “Chocolate gives you big knuckles,” or “Bad poetry can kill!” Likewise, although “I love you, too” scores no points for originality, as a response to “I love you,” it leads to far fewer shriveled-up relationships than “How ‘bout them spreadsheets?” or simply standing around like a Doric column. Of course, you’ve got a convenient excuse for your Doric routine: Daddy made you do it. Maybe it was a good way to respond when you were nine. As for its continued ef fectiveness, take a look at your girlfriend: Does she

have a five-o’clock shadow or any other spots, hairs, or identifying marks indicating that she’s actually your father disguised as a 20-year-old woman? Actually, for a year now, she’s been get ting up on her hind legs like a dog watching somebody grill a steak, begging for a whif f of af fection from you. Only when the giant condor in Casual Friday-wear swooped down to grab her in his talons did you toss her a couple scraps. That’s good. But soon, she’ll be hungry again. Too bad you’re more worried about forgiving her than feeding her. Why forgive her when you can devote the rest of your life to sculpting a giant pair of lips out of used chewing gum as a monument to her illicit moment? And while we’re on goofy fantasies ... apparently, you actually believe that the nex t time some guy pushes her up against the copier, she’s going to pause the action, whip out her cell, and call you with the big news. Get real. And if you want to keep your girlfriend, get mushy fast. Map out the dot ted lines around your touchy-feely boundaries, and shove yourself across them daily. Remember that your girlfriend isn’t waiting for you to say “I love you” or otherwise express your af fection so she can yell “Gotcha!” and run away. Worst case scenario: You let it all hang out and get dumped anyway. Guess what? It’s probably just the lesson you need. You’d learn that get ting rejected won’t cause you to grow a big clown nose or instantaneously get sucked up through some trap door in the sky, or whatever it is you’re afraid of. You might even get of f your trike a lit tle faster the nex t time someone you love lets you know how she feels. Stut tering back, “My rosebush is suicidal again,” or behaving like an architectural flourish is the correct response only if you need a lit tle more time to sit around by yourself blaming your old man for your bad life.

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41 M E T R O S P I R I T J U N E 1 3

FUN WITH YOU SF, 40, enjoys many activities, searching for energetic, outgoing, friendly SM, 35-50, to get to know better for friendship, possibly more. Ad#4081 WAITING TO HAPPEN Smart, funny, down-toearth SF, 35, enjoys reading, traveling, running, searching for SM, 30-45, for conversation and companionship. Ad#4082 MAKE IT LAST Fun-loving, outgoing SWF, 48, 5’4”, 145lbs., blonde hair, has many interests. ISO SWM, 3650, for a possible serious LTR. Ad#4086 LIFE CAN’T WAIT SWPF, easygoing, employed, enjoys flea markets, church, fun events. ISO SCM, N/S, 56-65. Full of love. Ad#4069 TODAYS THE DAY SBPF, 32, new to area, children, seeks a good man, 32-45. Seriousminded only need apply. Ad#4061 HELLO TALL MEN! 5’4”, full-figured, brown hair, friendly, 28, SWF, grad student going for Masters, varied interests, animals. ISO N/S SWM, 24-33. Ad#4060 GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. ISO D/SWM, 60-70, who’s honest and caring. Ad#3697

SPRING FEVER SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs., college educated, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, traveling. Seeking similar SWM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad#3696 MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY SWF, 5’7”, red hair, green eyes, full-figured, 34, good-looking, clean, sociable, enjoys quiet times, sewing, movies, cooking, ISO SM, 32-43. Ad#4041 MY HEART’S DREAM SBF, 38, 155lbs., 5’2”, reddish blonde, warm, fun, writer, enjoys life, bowling, basketball, music, singing, ISO SM, 25-44. Ad#4046 NO NONSENSE GIRL SBF, 20, 5’7”, 145lbs., medium size, sociable, ISO outgoing, spontaneous, fun-loving, humorous, honest, seriousminded SM, 20-35. Leave message. Ad#4056 DREAMS INTO REALITY Quiet, reserved SBF, 46, author, loves swimming, boating, tennis, long walks, the gym, cake decorating, keyboard, ISO 40-52, thoughtful guy. Ad#4053 ARE WE COMPATIBLE? DBF, 40, 5’7”, very spiritual, sincere, honest, friendly, intelligent, romantic, stable, enjoy cooking, outdoors, movies, seeking BM, 3745, similar qualities/interests, LTR. Ad#3695 ISO OF A CHALLENGE Attractive BPF, physically fit, petite, enjoys movies, dining out, traveling, shopping. ISO white collar, WPM, 36-50, 5’9”+. Ad#3693 WOMAN WITH CHARACTER SBF, 40, college, enjoys many interests. ISO quality times with SM, 38-45. Ad#4033

BE MY BOYFRIEND Shy, soft-spoken, 39, fullfigured BF, 5’8”, N/S, children at home, enjoys church, fishing, movies, ISO BM, honest, 30-55, drug-free, N/D. Ad#4026

WISHING YOU THE BEST SBF, 40, 5’7”, outgoing, likes walking, concerts, plays, church, seeking respectful, active SBM, 38-44, with good morals. Ad#3632

WAITING FOR YOU Attractive BF, 28, 5’7”, medium build, enjoys dining, cooking, shopping, music and good conversations. Seeking SBM, 34-58, for sincere friendship. Ad#3675

HERE WITH ME Sweet, open, outgoing, intelligent SBF, 20, 5’5”, 130lbs., likes movies, dining out, walking, searching for cute SWM, 18-30. Ad#3646

BE MY KING Are you SBM, 38-49, seeking a serious relationship? I’m an attractive, very outgoing BF, 43, who enjoys dining, reading, sports. Ad#3674 1 THING LEADS 2 Another! Start as friends with this BF, 26, who likes cuddling and quality times. Looking to meet a compatible M, 20-55. Ad#3664 SHY AT FIRST BF, 42, enjoys evenings out, movies, reading and attending church. Seeks SBM, 42-52, with similar interests, for relationship. Ad#3672 JUST FRIENDS Attractive SWF, 28, 128lbs., N/S, with no kids, enjoys movies and the outdoors. ISO SWM, 1832, to build a friendship with. Ad#2824 ANSWER MY PRAYER Attractive S ebony woman, 29, 5’3”, black hair, loves reading, church, going out. ISO man, 28-35. Christian a plus. Ad#3560 CAN IT BE YOU? SBF, 49, 5’5”, enjoys life, dining, church, parks, walks, seeking similar in SM, 55-60, maybe LTR. Ad#3650 HAPPY TOGETHER Laid-back, easygoing SWF, 32, 5’7”, plus-sized, brown hair/eyes, enjoys movies, bowling, baking, looking for sincere, honest SM, 32-45. Ad#3633

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HERE WITH ME SWF, 43, 5’2”, full-figured, outgoing, fun, easygoing, likes yard sales, cooking, flea markets. Desires SWM, 44-52, to share good times with. Ad#3628 BEHIND MY BLUE EYES Slim, attractive DWF, 46, auburn hair, blue eyes, ISO DWM, 46-56, to spend time with. Are you ready? Ad#2818 ROMANTIC? CALL ME! Friendly BF, 46, 5’8”, 170lbs., hobbies are music, bands, picnics and walking. Seeking BM, 4050, for friendship. Ad#3615 HAPPY ME SWF, 5’6”, 138lbs., green eyes, reddish blond hair, enjoys movies, walks and good conversation. ISO SWM, 40-55, honest and outgoing. Ad#3605 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music, seeking SM, 5070, N/S, likes to go to Church. Ad#3606 GOOD GIRL HUNTING SWF, attractive, blonde, hazel eyes, looks 35, 5’4”, 140lbs. Seeking tall, handsome WM, 32-42, with old-fashioned values, enjoys having fun. Ad#2813 HONESTY A MUST SWF, 42, 5’4”, 180lbs., long-haired, hardworking, easygoing, likes animals, dining, quiet times, laughter, the lake. Seeks N/S, honest SWM, 35-45. Ad#3590 FOR GOOD COMPANY SWF, 62, 5’6”, 130lbs., adventurous, into gardening, antiques, dining, sports. Seeks SWM, 5575, for conversation, friendship. Ad#3591 NO GAME PLAYERS Fun-loving, honest, loyal SWCF, 46, 5’4”, 160lbs., brown hair, loves camping, fishing, NASCAR, looking for serious, sincere SWCM, 38-55. Ad#3558 WHERE ARE YOU? SBF, 29, 5’3”, likes going to church, reading, sports, seeking SBM, 2835, with similar interests, to get to know better. Ad#3560

ISO MR. RIGHT Shy, laid-back SBF, 23, 5’9”, 195lbs., loves music, traveling, bowling, movies, dining out, looking for SBM, 23-35, with similar qualities. Ad#3565 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond hair, green eyes, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR, ISO honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. Ad#3563 GENTLEMAN FOR ME? WWWF, 60, smoker, attractive, blonde, enjoys dancing, learning golf, socializing, the outdoors, seeking WPM, 50s-60s, mustache or beard a plus. Ad#3557 LOOKING 4 LOVE SWF, 22, outgoing, fun, looking for SWM, 25-35, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad#3193 GIVE ME A CALL SWF, 50, looking for friendship, possible LTR with SWM, 48-53. Ad#3196 BEING YOURSELF SBF, 27, N/S, 5’6”, 180lbs., brown eyes/hair, open-minded, fun-loving, enjoys bowling, poetry, movies, quiet evenings. Seeking strong-minded SBM, 26-39. Ad#3195 PICK UP THE PHONE All thoughtful, respectful, drug-free SBPCM, 40-55, this SBF, 49, 5’4”, 165lbs., N/S, who enjoys dining, music, picnics, bowling, softball, wants you. Ad#3200 MUCH MORE!! SWF, 32, 5’3”, full-figured, reddish/brown hair, brown eyes, enjoys swimming, poetry, horseback riding, shooting pool. ISO secure, respectful SWM, 29-49. Ad#3187 NO GAMES!! SBF, 33, N/S, full-figured, enjoys reading, long drives, the outdoors, seeking caring, understanding SBM, 25-38. Ad#3551 SOMEONE JUST FOR ME DWPF, 44, 5’5”, 135lbs., very pretty, ethereal, enjoys gardening, reading, working, animals. ISO SCM, 40-50, with similar interests. Ad#2809 A STRONG WOMAN SBF, 28, 5’10”, 170lbs., outgoing, friendly, sociable, enjoys running, walking, biking, movies. Seeks SM, 24-37, for friendship. Ad#3174 ISO MILITARY MAN Down-to-earth SF, 39, drug-free, looking for military SM, 28-42, in good shape, knows what he wants in life, for fun and LTR. Ad#3176 WE SHOULD MEET SWF, 30, 5’5”, full-figured, shy, into movies, reading, intelligent conversation, basketball. Seeks SM, 28-39, confident, for friendship. Ad#3159

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Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net ALL THIS AND MORE SWF, 33, 5’3”, 125lbs., green-eyed redhead, affectionate, ambitious, student, enjoys travel, sporting events. Seeking SM, 30-43, honest, friendly, intelligent, familyoriented. Ad#3164 NO GAMES PLEASE! SBF, 32, outgoing, downto-earth, smoker, likes long walks, church, travel, cooking, dining. Seeking SHM, 30-45, stable, secure, for friendship. Ad#3171 WAIT AND SEE SWF, 62, 5’6”, blond hair, blue eyes, loves camping, fishing, boating, walking, seeking SWM, 70, with similar interests. Ad#3156 UNDER THE STARS SWF, 52, enjoys fishing, dancing, spending time with grand children, seeking SWM, 50-58, to spend quality time with. Ad#3144 CAN WE MEET? SWF, 57, 5’4”, blonde, personable, loves reading fiction, dancing. Seeks SWM, 57-63, for friendship. Ad#3132 WERE U BORN 6/20/51? Tall, slim, attractive woman, auburn hair, light complexioned, seeking tall, attractive WM, born June 20, 1951. No other responders please! Ad#2771 LOOKING FOR YOU HF, 28, brown hair, likes good conversations, sports, and having fun. Looking to build a friendship with a SBM, 20-40. Ad#3084 MAKE ME SMILE BF, 23, has a great personality, likes laughter and having fun. Seeking SM, 24-35, for friendship, possibly more. Ad#3087 GETTING TO KNOW U WF, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., red hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, sports, and spending time with friends. Searching for a SM, 23-36. Ad#3106 WORTH YOUR WHILE Friendly, easygoing, laidback SWF, 20, 5’5”, 150lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, loves music, dancing, horseback riding, ISO SWM, 22-26. Ad#3099

WAITING TO HAPPEN DWF, 45, 5’4”, brown hair, green eyes, likes sports, music, dining out, searching for serious, honest, hardworking SWM, 4055. Ad#3107 TAKE MY BREATH AWAY Hardworking WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. ISO WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. Ad#2767 BE MY FRIEND SWF, 56, 5’4”, 160lbs., green-eyed, personable, loves dancing, reading. Seeks SWM, 62+, for friendship. Ad#3059 LOVING YOU BF, 25, 5’10”, 170lbs., seeks a BM, 25-35, who is honest and trustworthy, for quality time and romance. Ad#3046 NEEDING YOU Outgoing, friendly, BF, 5’8”, likes dining out, movies, basketball and long walks. Looking for M, 21-31, with similar interests. Ad#3049 LOVES GOD Hazel-eyed brunette DWCF, 48, 5’7”, enjoys nature, cooking, movies, reading. ISO honest, financially secure SCM, 45-55, for friends first, possible LTR. Ad#3051 TREAT ME RIGHT! Outgoing DWF, 37, N/S, has kids, seeks true, honest, stable SWM, 28-48, N/S, for dining, movies, walks, and quiet times. Ad#3035 SHARE WITH ME Brown-eyed SBF, 26, 5’, 100lbs., humorous, likes good conversations, 3-D puzzles, movies, reading. ISO SWM, 21-28, for quality time. Ad#3006 GOOD-HEARTED SWF, 44, 5’2”, 145lbs., redhead, green-eyed, humorous, enjoys reading, the outdoors. Seeking SM, 35-52, with similar interests. Ad#3009 LET’S CUDDLE WF, 41, 5’6”, 138lbs., hazel eyes, brown hair, outgoing, likes cooking, fishing, hunting, NASCAR. ISO SWM, 3748, for friendship. Ad#3014

LET’S HAVE FUN BF, 20, 5’6”, 140lbs., friendly, loves having fun, likes movies, dining, bowling, sports. ISO SWM, 18-36, with similar interests. Ad#3021 GIVE ME A CHANCE BF, 55, 5’1”, 145lbs., brown-eyed, friendly, outgoing, enjoys dancing, movies, walks. ISO SBM, 55-60, who’s easygoing, understanding, friendship first. Ad#3028 ISO A GOOD MAN Outgoing SBF, 18, N/S, fun-loving, enjoys movies, dancing and wrestling. ISO SBM, 19-20, who likes the same things. Ad#2979 LET’S BE FRIENDS SBF, 21, new in town, 5’8”, 195lbs., enjoys movies, music, long walks and more. ISO SBM, 2030, for friendship first. Ad#2992 CAN WE GET TOGETHER SWF, 53, 5’, 145lbs., shy, loves the outdoors, mountains, traveling. ISO SM, 48-68, who’s tall, honest, sincere, for possible LTR. Ad#2964 CAREER MINDED SWF, 30, 5’6”, blonde hair, blue eyes, 135lbs., enjoys golf, tennis, music, outdoors, traveling, dining. ISO SWPM, 27-36, for friendship. Ad#2976 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strongwilled SBM, 35-48, for friendship. Ad#2956 LET’S GET TOGETHER! Outgoing, humorous SBF, 24, 5’5”, 135lbs., N/S, enjoys writing and sports. Seeking independent, affectionate SM, 20-36, for LTR. Ad#2948 ISO CARING GENTLEMAN Pleasant SWF, 71, 5’5”, 125lbs., brown hair/eyes, enjoys fishing. Seeks caring, giving SWM, 69-74, for friendship, card playing, dining out. Ad#2744

"Continued on the next page"

This publication is a community, family publication. Anything appearing in Datemaker must be appropriate for all ages. Participants in Datemaker must be 18 years or older. Datemaker is restricted to individuals seeking personal, monogamous relationships. The publisher reserves the right to edit or reject ads and voice introductions that do not meet the standards of acceptance of this newspaper. This publication assumes no liability for the content or reply of a personal advertisement. Readers and advertisers may wish to consider taking appropriate safeguards in responding to ads and arranging meetings. Callers to the 1-900 system will be charged $1.99 per minute on their monthly phone bill. Touchtone phone callers will be given instructions on how to respond to a specific ad, browse male or female greetings and use Datematch. For best reception, cordless telephones are not recommended. Use of this column for business solicitation will be prosecuted. CH/AS 6/07/02 533

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"Continued from previous page" DOWN HOME GIRL DBF, 48, 5’6”, 175lbs., no kids, loves dining out, football, gardening. Seeking SBCM, for companionship. Ad#2904 LONELY IN NEED Aiken resident, WWWF, 74, easygoing, youthful, enjoys gardening, crafts, flea markets, yard sales, walking. ISO WM, 65+. Ad#2737 CALLING MR. RIGHT Full-figured, 48 year-old WWWF, seeking SWPM, 45-65, for companionship and possible LTR. Enjoys music, movies, walks and travel. Ad#2739 ISO UNIQUE MAN Attractive SBF, 35, likes dining, sports, going out. Seeking attractive, openminded, sensitive M, 3045, for friendship or more. Local calls only. Ad#2735 MAKE ME SMILE SWF, 27, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, shy at first, likes fishing, camping. Seeking SM, 25-37, for fun and possibly more. Ad#2913 CARES ABOUT OTHERS SWF, 37, 5’8”, 185lbs., long auburn hair, friendly, cheerful, honest, sincere, loves reading, writing, traveling. ISO honest SM, 30-45. Ad#2922 WELCOME TO MY LIFE SWCF, 47, 5’9”, 120lbs., green eyes, no children, seeking N/S SWCM, 3050, for friendship and possibly more. Ad#2901 YOU NEED TO CALL SWF, 45, 5’9”, 165lbs., brown hair/eyes, outgoing, social, enjoys a variety of activities. Seeking active, fun, tall SWM, 4050. Ad#2905 ARE YOU TRUSTWORTHY? Honest, loyal SWF, 45, 5’4”, 155lbs., brown hair, loves to sing, dance, swim, fish. ISO SWM, 3855, for companionship. Ad#2909 THOMSON OR AUGUSTA AREA DWF, attractive, N/S, N/D, good personality, easygoing, enjoys movies, mountains, and walks. Seeks stable WM, 48-62, similar interests, for friendship, relationship. Ad#2732

LET’S ENJOY LIFE SAM, 23, 5’6”, 150lbs., has a wide variety of interests. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, with a good sense of humor. Ad#4073 WHAT DO YOU LIKE Fun, outgoing SM, 18, blond hair, loves music, movies, seeking SF, 1825, for fun, friendship, possible LTR. Ad#4079 LOVE AND HAPPINESS SWM, 25, 5’11”, 180lbs., brown hair/eyes, likes the arts, photography, nature and movies. ISO caring, honest SWF, 18-28. Ad#4085 LOOKING FOR YOU SBM, 18, 6’2”, 170lbs., enjoys traveling, movies, pets, long walks, looking for SF, 18-21, to get to know better. Ad#4083 MAKE IT HAPPEN Friendly, outgoing SWM, 25, 5’10”, 155lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, medium build, likes sports, going out, ISO SWF, 20-32. Ad#4091

NEW GUY IN TOWN SM, 26, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, enjoys movies, reading and evenings out. Seeking SF, 25-30, to show me around town. Ad#3700 STAND PROUD Military man, B, 6’1”, 205lbs., black hair, nice smile, enjoys reading, laughter, basketball, seeking lady, 20-28. Let’s chill! Ad#4067 COOL DUDE Crazy, sexy SBM, 26, 5’8”, 155lbs., goodshape, lifts weights, gym, music, cooks, good food and movies. ISO SF, 1835, with similar interests. Ad#4063 EYES RIGHT HERE WM, 33, loves music, cars, seeking SF, 28-35, decent, nice person, same interests. Be yourself. Ad#4039 WALK MY PIER Blue-eyed WM, 6’1”, retired, no kids, enjoys sailing on yacht, water sports. ISO similar in lady, 25-35. Ad#4045 SHARE MY LOVE SWM, 60, ISO F, 18-50, knows how to laugh and have a nice time together. Ad#4042 LISTEN UP Enjoys bowling, plus more. SM, 22, 6’3”, 165lbs., dark brown hair, outgoing, construction worker, ISO SF, 22-35. Ad#3689 HIT ME UP Augusta boy. Chocolate M, 21, ISO F, 18-45. Ad#4027 GOOD LISTENER Physically fit WM, 6’, 185lbs., blue eyes, in sales, degreed, easygoing, fun-loving, loves cooking out, dancing, dining, simple pleasures. ISO romantic WF, 35-55. Ad#3691 GIVE YOUR BEST SHOT Loves ball games, dining, fishing, going out. Have fun times with a special lady, 25-42. All inquiries answered. Ad#3678 MAGIC MOMENTS Down-to-earth WM, 60, 5’8”, 165lbs., enjoys movies, sports, long walks, dining, quiet evenings at home. Seeking SWF, 53-60, for possible LTR. Ad#2827 MUST BE STABLE SBM, 39, 6’4”, 250lbs., outgoing, energetic, open-minded, friendly, likes having fun. Seeks lady who’s energetic, open-minded, attractive and financially secure. Ad#3651 FINANCIALLY SECURE Handsome SBM, 21, 5’10”, 150lbs., seeks a very beautiful SHF, 19-29, for casual dating, maybe more. Ad#3655 ARE YOU THE ONE? Down-to-earth, outgoing SBM, 36, 5’7”, 180lbs., bald, likes bowling, basketball, etc. Seeks slim, outgoing SBF, 30-45. Ad#3662 MAGIC AND ROMANCE SBM, 24, 5’7”, 168lbs., enjoys movies, working out and music. ISO honest, down-to-earth, childless SF, 25-35, N/S, for friendship first. Ad#2822 HERE I AM Retired DWM, 60, 185lbs., likes traveling, animals, going to church, seeks a nice, lovely lady, for companionship. Ad#3645 CALL ME SBM, 39, very pleasant, lovable, likes sports, plays, dramas, seeks a nice lady with a beautiful smile, down-to-earth. Ad#3580

LET’S ENJOYS LIFE SWM, 31, 5’8”, 180lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, enjoys movies, dining out, seeks outgoing, funny SWF, 25-45. Ad#3613

WISH UPON THE STARS Outgoing SWM, 48, 5’10”, 189lbs., enjoys mountains, beaches, the outdoors, seeking SF, 35-55, with similar interests. Ad#3599

VERY UNIQUE DBM, 45, N/S, N/D, likes sports, movies, dining out, sports, looking for SBF, 35-50, with same interests. Ad#3589

MR. CHEF SWM, 34, 6’1”, 175lbs., blue eyes, good sense of humor, enjoys cooking, in/outdoors. Seeking SF, 20-40, welling to eat my cooking. Ad#3596

THE CAT’S MEOW SWM, 41, 5’11”, blue eyes, no baggage, educated, enjoys biking, travel, cats, aviation. Seeks SF, 30-45. Gardening, cooking A+. Ad#3654

BE YOURSELF SBM, 35, 6’, 180lbs., humorous, down-to-earth, enjoys church, jogging, movies, seeking SBF, 3040, with same qualities. Ad#3598

ARE YOU THE 1? SWM, 26, 6’, 165lbs., brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, fun, likes sports, shooting pool, movies, romantic evenings, looking for SWF, 21-28. Ad#3572

COUNTRY LIVING SWM, 37, 6’, brown hair, hazel eyes, 215lbs., likes the outdoors, country music, NASCAR, fishing, hunting, seeks homebody SWF, 28-45. Ad#3048

ISO YOU SHCM, 51, loves cooking, working out, martial arts, seeking sweet, caring SF, 30-55, to spend the rest of my life with. Ad#3575

GOING TO THE RACES! SWM, 23, 5’10”, 150lbs., adventurous, smoker, likes the outdoors, sports, racing, dining, wrestling, movies. Seeking outgoing SF, 18-35, for friendship. Ad#3172

NEW TO ADS Outgoing, fun SBM, 38, 5’8”, black hair, 165lbs., government job, looking for SF, 28-40. What do you like to do? Ad#3199

LET’S MEET Secure, good-natured SWM, 26, 6’2”, blue-eyed, sandy blond hair. Seeks ambitious SF, 19-27. Ad#3080

www.metspirit.com

www.metspirit.com HARDWORKING MAN SWM, 36, brown hair/eyes, tall, 185lbs., people person, employed, ISO SF, 24-37, intelligent, pretty, with mixed interests. Friendship first. Ad#3653 WAITING FOR THE ONE SWM, 37, 5’4”, 135lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, likes camping, fishing, hiking, NASCAR, looking for N/S SWF, 30-37. Ad#3631 LIVE FOR LOVE Friendly SWM, 37, 5’10”, 220lbs., brown hair, hazel eyes, likes building motorcycles, outdoor activities, searching for SWF, 27-45. Ad#3625 ROMANCE IS ALIVE DWPM, 56, educated, cultured, seeks WF for LTR and romantic adventure. I’m very athletic, musical, 5’10”, muscular build, good, patient listener. Ad#2513 NO LIES! Down-to-earth BM, 34, ISO a LTR with a SF, 2147, who wants a serious relationship without head games. Ad#3622 HELLO LADIES!! WM, 30, with blond hair, enjoys beaches, dancing, movies and dining. Looking to meet a SF, 2238, for friendship. Ad#3618

CUDDLE WITH ME SWCM, 21, 5’8”, 200lbs., blond hair, enjoys going to Church, varied interests. ISO SWCF, 21, with similar interests. Ad#3604 NEW IN TOWN 5’6”, 150lbs., blue eyes, blonde, WWWM, 47, enjoys travel, sailing, art, good food, beach. ISO SF, 35-mid 40s, seeking LTR. Ad#2815 A GOOD HEART... SBM, 41, down-to-earth, outgoing, N/S, enjoys music, church, sporting events, seeking loving SBF, 30-45, for friendship. Ad#2959 WASS UP?! SWM, 20, looking for a fun girl, 18-25, to kick it with. Keep it real. Holler back. Ad#3579 HAND IN HAND SWM, 24, 6’2”, 225lbs., dark hair/eyes, outgoing, friendly, likes shooting pool, dancing, riding motorcycles, ISO SWF, 20-35. Ad#3564 NO MIND GAMES SWM, 26, 6’, 165lbs., brown hair, loves movies, dining out, shooting pool, sports, looking for SWF, 20-26, to have with. Ad#3561 READY AND WILLING Fun SBM, 28, 5’5”, 150lbs., bald headed, likes shooting pool, movies, clubbing, quiet times at home, seeking SBF, 28-35. Ad#3567

R U INTERESTED? SBM, 42, 5’8”, 160lbs., light complexion, enjoys baseball, movies, park walks, cooking, country music, movies. Seeking SWF, full-figured, intelligent, understanding. Ad#3180 HAPPY-GO-LUCKY SWM, 44, 5’7”, 180lbs., auburn hair, green eyes, enjoys traveling, motorcycles, certified SCUBA diver. ISO SWF true companion, 30-45, outgoing, redhead. Ad#3209 R WE A MATCH? SWM, 40, 6’1”, 160lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, enjoys classic rock, movies, dining, more. ISO nice, friendly SF, 25-45. Ad#3550 ENJOYING LIFE Retired SWM, 52, 6’4”, 155lbs., reddish/blonde hair, enjoys dancing, fishing, hunting, seeking similar SWF, 44-65. Ad#3554 GIVE ME A CALL! SBM, 6’1”, 270lbs., seeking SBPF, 35-50, for friendship, movies, walks in the park, and dining out. Ad#2810 ATTN FEMALE CITIZEN Hardworking SWM desires intelligent, humorous, sensuous WF, 28-38, with creative and kinesthetic outlet. Call to negotiate terms of surrender. Ad#2785

WATCH THE SUNRISE SBM, 25, 6’9”, 225lbs., has a wide variety of interests, looking for an outgoing, sweet, caring SF, 20-39, for friendship and possibly more. Ad#3141 WORTH THE WAIT SBM, 41, loves sports, church activities, searching for a SBF, 35-45, with similar interests, for conversation and possibly more. Ad#3143 LOOKING FOR MY LADY SWM, 35, 6’1”, 195lbs., blond, blue eyes, enjoys cooking, dining, dancing, quiet evenings. ISO D/SWF, 25-40, for friendship, possible LTR. Ad#2772

MAKE ME SMILE SWM, 44, ex-military, mature, down-to-earth, respectful, enjoys movies, going out, fishing. Seeking reserved SBF, 32-44, for friendship. Ad#3127 MODERN COUNTRY LIVING WM, retired senior citizen, 6’1”, 145lbs., ISO WF, 45-60, attractive, medium-built, N/D, N/S, no children, for companionship, LTR. Ad#2770 PERFECT DATE Are you a SF, 18-29, looking for a gentleman? This WM, 22, is perfect so give him a call. Ad#3098 A GOOD FRIEND WANTED HM, 26, 5’9”, 220lbs., brownish black hair, very outgoing, likes photography, traveling, cultural activities, and movies. Seeking SF, 23-27, for relationship. Ad#3114 WHERE MY HEART IS Friendly DWM, 58, 5’10”, 190lbs., enjoys shooting pool, political research, cooking, looking for honest, healthy SWF, 46-56, for serious LTR. Ad#3115 MILITARY MAN SWM, 34, 5’11”, 220lbs., fun-loving, easygoing, likes movies, quiet evenings, dancing, R&B, classic rock music. Seeks SBF, 29-40. Ad#3057 WANT TO MEET? DBM, 45, 5’10”, 220lbs., enjoys good conversation and food, sports, movies, ISO SBF, 35-50, for LTR. Ad#3064 COMPASSION SM, 53, 6’, 180lbs., musician, loving, communicative, loves bowling, dancing, walks, car racing. Seeking attractive, compassionate SWF, 21-60, for a LTR. Ad#3070 JUST KICK IT SBM, 24, 5’9”, shy at first, likes wrestling, bowling, theater. Seeks SBF, 2131, medium build, fun-loving, to kick it with. Ad#3082 SOMEWHERE OUT THERE SBM, 39, 5’6”, 160lbs., outgoing, honest, likes Blockbuster nights, attending church, fun times. Seeks SF, 27-44, feminine, open, respectful. Ad#3083 COULD BE YOU WM, 37, 6’, 220lbs., who’s the outdoorsy type, likes hunting, NASCAR and walking. Interested in meeting a F, 28-44. Ad#3048 FOR YOU... I would do anything. Medium-built BM, 48, 6’4”, 195lbs., likes running, lifting weights and walking. Seeking H/W/BF, 25-45. Ad#3053 MAKE IT HAPPEN! Outgoing SBM, 18, N/S, seeks SF, 18-21, who likes dancing, walks, movies, and enjoys life, for friendship first. Ad#3038

GOOD HEART... Looking for love. Retired engineer, DWM, 70, 5’9”, 200lbs., seeks openminded D/SWF to share friendship, love. ISO someone who likes movies, dining out, walks, talks, and some outdoor activities like golf, fishing. Age/race unimportant. Ad#2773

WAITING FOR THE ONE GWM, 18, 6’, 130lbs., blond hair, likes long walks, horseback riding, searching for GWM, 1820, with similar interests. Ad#4077

LET’S TALK SWM, 34, 5’11”, 220lbs., easygoing, likes dancing, singing, fun times. Seeks laid-back, fun-loving SBF, 27-40, for coffee and conversation. Ad#3065

ARE YOU THE ONE? GBM, 37, 5’8”, 200lbs., likes quiet times at home, parks, traveling, searching for realistic GBPM, 35-42. Ad#4092

AM I THE ONE? SWM, 22, 5’10”, 140lbs., good-looking, adventurous, smoker, nice, into dining, blading, enjoying life. Seeks SWM, 18-30, for companionship. Ad#3704 MAKE IT HAPPEN BM, 29, 6’1”, 265lbs., generous-hearted trucker, enjoys dancing, singing, long walks, beaches. ISO open-minded SM, 21-30, for relationship. Ad#3585 SMOOTH TALKER Caring SWM, 47, 5’10”, brown hair/eyes, 170lbs., handsome, loves people, likes fishing, golf, hanging out. Seeking SM, 18-20, outgoing and care-free. Ad#4062 BEYOND 5’11”, 155lbs., light hair, SWM, 32, looking for good time with 18-45, S guy. Ad#4051 GUY SWEET TALK SWM, 6’2”, 240lbs., blue eyes, brown hair, 52, dating first, possible relationship. Enjoys walking, hand holding and talks. Seeking SWM, 30-40, with feelings. Ad#3690 GIVE ME A CHANCE Call this SWM, 45, 0 dependents, outgoing, N/S, 195lbs., 5’11”, brown eyes, light hair, friendly, down-to-earth. ISO SM, 18-33, with hobbies. Ad#3679 SOULMATE SEARCHING In-shape, physically fit, into fitness; running, SBM, 31, open-minded, attractive, smoker, outgoing. ISO SM, 21-40, attractive in mind, body and soul. Ad#2685

NO EXTRA BAGGAGE Attractive SBF, 5’7”, long black hair, heavyset, outgoing, romantic, loves candlelight dinners, long walks, holding hands, ISO 35-65, SF, serious only apply. Ad#4029 LET’S GET TOGETHER SF, 24, 5’4”, 185lbs., dark brown hair, likes singing and family-oriented activities. Seeking SBF, 22-33, for friendship, possibly more. Ad#3670 FRIENDSHIP FIRST! Funny, smart, down-toearth GBF, 5’6”, 125lbs., loves long walks, hand holding. ISO GF, 21-30, who likes kids and doesn’t play games. Ad#2829 LOOKING FOR A QUEEN SBF, 30, one child, articulate, athletic, sense of humor, enjoys dancing. ISO SB/H/WF, 24-35, for conversation, friendship. No head games. Ad#2821 YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 60, 5’5”, 122lbs., brown hair, enjoys meeting new people, dining out, short trips, ISO plus-sized GWF, 4560. Ad#3639 KIND AND CARING GBF, 24, 5’2”, 170lbs., blond hair, energetic, loving, enjoys movies, shopping, cooking, seeking romantic, outgoing GBF, 21-27. Ad#3642 ZEST FOR LIFE Articulate, adventurous WF, 32, 5’8”, brown hair/eyes, enjoys animals, running, movies and dining. Looking for WF, 2540, for friendship. Ad#3611


Classifieds

43 M E T R O

Call (706) 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

Employment

Insurance

Mind, Body & Spirit

Fun, layed back salon looking for an assistant. Tuesday - Friday, Par t-time. Call 706-726-3621 (06/13#7702)

You could be paying less for your health insurance… If you don’t have or can’t afford group health insurance, take a look at these sample rates for individual hospital and surgical coverage with $250 Deductible, 80/20 to $10,000, $2,000,000

Full Body Massage! Therapeutic tension relief, intense or tender touch, rela xing music, aromatherapy, by appointment only - $49.00/hr. Call Joy - 771-9470 (06/13#7672)

Part-time CHURCH SECRETARY/ ADMINISTR ATIVE ASSISTANT Dedicated Christian preferred. PT, $8.00/hour. Reply to: Brian Heckber, 4352 Columbia Road, Mar tinez, GA 30907 or bheckber@knology.net. (06/13#7688) Clean Commercial/Industrial Facilities Sweep, Mop, Windows, Buf f/Wa x Floors, Clean Carpets, Strip & Reseal Floors. Minimum Six Months Heavy Industrial Cleaning Experience. Drug Screen/Criminal Background Check Required. $8.72/hour EEOC Employer 706-738-3113 (06/13#7689) Massage Therapist Needed Must be nationally cer tified & licensed by the state of South Carolina Call, Integrative Bodyworks 803-279-8262 (06/13#7677)

Equipment BUY FACTORY DIRECT WOLFF TANNING BEDS Payments From $25/month FREE Color Catalog Call Today 1-800-842-1310 www.np.etstan.com (06/13#7604)

Email your classified ad to classified@metspirit.com

Lifetime Maximum: Male Child age 0 - 19 Female Child age 0 - 19 Male age 34 Female age 39 Family (older spouse age 44)

As low as $ 32/Month $ 38/Month $ 57/Month $ 93/Month $228/Month

Call Roger Jenkins at 706-836-5535 for details and a quote LOSE WEIGHT NOW lose up to 30 pounds in the nex t 30 days! NATURAL.GUARANTEED FREE SAMPLES!! Call 1-888-203-7440 (06/13#7690) Professional Massage Friendly experienced male. Stress relief for healthy men 18 - 45. All hotel clients $30/hr. Out or hotel calls only. 706-739-9139 (06/13 #7685)

Massage is wonderfully soothing Massage promotes optimal health in mind, body, and spirit. Swedish • Shiatsu • Stress Relief Call Sasha 803-441-0001 (06/13#7680)

Religion Metropolitan Community Church of Our Redeemer A Christian Church reaching to all: including Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered Christians. Meeting at 311 Seventh Street, 11 am and 7 pm each Sunday. 722-6454 MCCAugusta@aol.com www.mccaugustaga.homestead.com/home.html

Travel

Try Angel Harp Readings

Sessions with the angels

Betty L ❤ve, CHT. Reiki Master

Mrs. Graham Psychic TELLS ALL Advises on Past, Present & Future Specializing in Love Affairs

733-5851 2463 Wrightsboro Road

AVAILABLE FOR PARTIES

SUNDAY NIGHT Starlight Cabaret w/ Claire Storm & Lauren Alexander

Hot High Energy Dance Music And Laser Light Show

Do you want clarification in your life or help with decisions?

733-4187 733-8550

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Show Night w/ Special Guests

THE COLISEUM

Smoking Lose Weight

EVERY THURSDAY Talent Night $1.00 Beer

141 Marlboro Street, Aiken • 803-644-6485 w w w.marlboro.4mg.net 18 to Party • 21 to Drink

HYPNOSIS WORKS!

2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

Marlboro Station Where the Party Never Stops!

Wed-Fri 8pm-5am Sat 8pm-3am; Sun 8pm-5am

L❤ve & Light HEALING CENTER Stop

Alt. Lifestyles

Learn to Windsurf

Saturday, 6/15 Drink Specials: - $6 Wet N' Wild Hot Male Strippers Wed Fri & Sat - $9 All You Can Drink Draft Hollywood Sat - $2 Bud/Bud Light Sensations with Mallory Hot Dog Buffet $2.99 Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m.

Open Mon-Fri 7pm-3am Sat 7pm-2:30am

1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

(It’s easier than you think.) *Right here at Lake Thurmond *Specialized equipment *US Sailing cer tified instructor

Whitecap Windsurfing

706-733-2603

www.ColiseumAugusta.com

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

706-860-0639

www.whitecapwindsur fing.com whitecapws@aol.com

www.metspirit.com

OR

706/798-9060

Yard Sales MULTI-FAMILY YARD SALE Saturday, June 15 8:00 am - 12:00 pm 708 Indian Mound Drive Nor th Augusta (Hammond Hills Subdivision) (06/13#7687)

To place an ad on our automated ad taking system call

1-800-743-2873 Browse and respond to ads right now*

1-900-680-2828 Look for us online at

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*$1.99 per min. You must be 18+

S P I R I T J U N E 1 3 2 0 0 2


Metro Spirit 06.13.2002