Metro Spirit 04.17.2003 by Metro Spirit

17-23

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Issue

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April

ET R O P O L

S, M IS IN SU A T ES & ENTER

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Georgia GeorgiaBank Bank&&Trust’s Trust’splaying playingfield fieldstretches stretchesfrom fromLittle Little League parks to the GreenJacket’s stadium to a lot of places League parks to Green Jacket Stadium to a lot of places ininbetween. between. Wehave haveaastrong strong We commitment commitmenttotohelping helpingarea area civic civicorganizations, organizations, charities, charities,and andbusinesses, business, because becauseit’s it’sour ourbelief beliefwhen when the community grows, we the community grows, we all allbenefit. benefit. Main Office 3530 Wheeler Road • Augusta, GA 30909 www.georgiabankandtrust.com

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A Traditional Sheraton Easter Brunch

S P I R I T

April 20, 2003 11am - 3 pm

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The Coalition for Mental & Spiritual Health Ministries

$22.95 per person for adults $8.95 per child under 12 years of age Complimentary Champagne and Mimosas

presents

Live Jazz Combo by George Sykes and Friends

A Service for the Healing of the Mind & Spirit

Special visit by the Easter Bunny

The Traditional Feast

Roast Turkey with Giblet Gravy Roast Pork Loin with Port Demi Glace Buttered Mashed Potatoes Old Fashioned Cinnamon Pecan Sweet Yams Traditional Macaroni & Cheese Homemade Southern Cornbread Dressing Sweet White and Yellow Corn Southern Style Green Beans Broccoli and Cheese Casserole Vegetable Medley

Seafood Platters

Peel-n-Eat Shrimp Oysters on the Half Shell Steamed Mussels Smoked Salmon Baked Atlantic Salmon

Fresh Greens and Fruit Crab Salad Tossed Greens Fruit Salad Chicken Salad Antipasto Salad Cranberries Fresh Melons and Berries Cream of Potato Soup

Breakfast

Hash Browns SOS Pancakes French Toast Bacon & Sausage Grits with bacon and cheese

April 24, 2003 • 7:00 pm The Church of the Most Holy Trinity 720 Telfair Street

Carved and Made to Order Eggs and Omelettes Steamship Round Honey Glazed Ham Cherries Jubilee and Ice Cream

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This service is a community-wide event for all whose lives have been touched by mental illness, as well as for health care providers and care givers. It is a non-denominational service, and no one tradition is emphasized. Participants from Catholic, Episcopal, Methodist, Baptist & Presbyterian traditions will be represented in the service.

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Contents The Metropolitan Spirit

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•

F R E E

W E E K LY

•

M E T S P I R I T. C O M

ON THE COVER

Cover Design: Natalie Holle

Corner of Bobby Jones & Scott Nixon Dr. •

FEATURES

The New Face of Augusta By Amy Fennell Christian ...........................................16 Opinion Whine Line ......................................................................6 Words ...............................................................................6 Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down ............................................9 Suburban Torture ............................................................9 Austin Rhodes ...............................................................10 Insider ............................................................................11

Metro Beat Commission Stands Behind Geri Sams .....................12 Gold Dome: Complete Coverage of the Georgia 2003 Legislative Session ............................................14

Arts

Augusta Ballet Gives Your Babysitter the Night Off....................................30

Events

8 Days a Week .............................................................24

Cinema

Music

Goths’ Night Out ...........................................................38 CD Review: “House of 1000 Corpses” .......................39 Music by Turner ............................................................40 Music Minis ...................................................................41 Night Life .......................................................................42

Stuff News of the Weird ........................................................44 Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ......................................45 New York Times Crossword Puzzle ............................45 Classifieds .....................................................................46 Amy Alkon: The Advice Goddess ................................47 Date Maker ...................................................................48 Automotive Classifieds ................................................50

All Floral Fabrics In Stock!

EDITOR & PUBLISHER David Vantrease ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Rhonda Jones STAFF WRITERS Stacey Eidson, Brian Neill ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Joe White ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kriste Lindler, Jennifer H. Mar tin PRODUCTION MANAGER Joe Smith GR APHIC ARTISTS Stephanie Carroll, Natalie Holle ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHER Meli Gurley RECEPTIONIST/CLASSIFIED COORDINATOR Sharon King ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT ASSISTANT Lisa Jordan CIRCULATION DIRECTOR Meli Gurley SENIOR MUSIC CONTRIBUTOR Ed Turner CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Chuck Shepherd, Rob Brezsny, Austin Rhodes, Amy Alkon, Rachel Deahl CARTOONISTS Tom Tomorrow, Julie Larson

THE METROPOLITAN SPIRIT is a free newspaper published weekly on Thursday, 52 weeks of the year. Editorial coverage includes ar ts, local issues, news, enter tainment, people, places and events. In our paper appear views from across the political and social spectrum. The views do not necessarily represent the views of the publishers. Visit us at www.metspirit.com. Copyright © The Metropolitan Spirit Inc. Reproduction or use without permission is prohibited. Phone: (706) 738-1142 Fax: (706) 733-6663 E-mail: spirit@metspirit.com Letters to the Editor: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, Ga. 30914-3809

M E T R O S P I R I T A P R

• Custom Window Treatments & Bedding • Designer Fabrics & Trims • Decorating Accessories & Gifts

By Brian Neill ...............................................20

Movie Listings .............................................................33 Close-Up: Seann William Scott ...................................36 Review: “Malibu’s Most Wanted” ...............................37 Movie Clock ..................................................................37

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*Prior sales excluded

Coffee, Tea and Turmoil

Augusta Canal’s New Interpretive Center Looms Large .............................................................................22 Augusta Ballet Gives Your Babysitter the Night Off ..30 Cellist Daniel Lee Will Take You on a Magical Cello Adventure ......................................................................31 Meet The Olde Lincoln Towne Players .......................32

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868-5757 • Mon-Fri 10-5:30, Sat 10-5

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Whine Line B

illy O’Reilly, the Fox network’s gabby talk show host and know-itall, is now challenging the battlefield tactics of generals and colonels. The man is a loudmouth fool and in a perfect world he would be forced to sit in the turret of the lead tank heading into Baghdad where he could shout out his superior intellect while leading the charge to victory. Judge Bowen’s ruling that calls Columbia County’s storm water utility fee a “rain” tax is right on the mark. Rep. Barry “Brighthead” Fleming, one of the storm water fee authors, should run and hide. Legal fees defending this blunder and potential administrative cost of returning the collected fees back to the citizens loom large. Once again this week the idiot shows his stupidity in attacking Charles Walker and the Focus. How can Rhodes complain about anyone being biased in their reporting, when he is the dean of biased reporting and rightwing opinions? I am certainly no friend of Charlie Walker, but the comments in the Focus about the Bush administration’s whining about “not playing fair” is B.S. This war is so one-sided in our favor it’s not even funny. Thank God Saddam doesn’t have, but think what it would be like if Iraq had B-1 and B-2 bombers, Apache helicopters, Bradley tanks, night goggles, AWACS, 3,000-pound laser-guided bombs, etc. You get the picture. I assure you that if we were fighting on Broad Street, downtown Augusta, we would do what ever the hell we needed to do to survive. You do your paper a grave injustice by continuing to allow Rhodes to make a fool of himself. Broad Street resembles a battle zone because of all the boarded and broken windows. Isn’t there some ordinance that limits the time that buildings can be boarded up? Several weeks ago there was severe damage to the brickwork and one of the fountains at the west end of the Chamber of Commerce building. How long is it going to take to get this fixed? No one can say we’ve spruced up for the Masters this year. People applying for a job at the busiest time in the restaurant shouldn’t be pushy and demand to see the hiring manager. Besides, these people always lie: saying they’re a good worker, so you hire them; then they get 30 personal phone calls a week, and their significant other comes in and disrupts business. No wonder I’m stressed out. Augusta has been without a traffic engineer for over a year. We were promised one in March, but that deadline has come and gone. I know for a fact there are talented, experi-

enced candidates for the position. Surely the safety of our loved ones takes precedence over political maneuvers and petty racial bias. To the white female who said in her whine that Ms. Burk and Rev. Jackson should either integrate or shut up: Either you must be another loyal, backwater idiot listener of Austin Rhodes or a dummy. A few years ago a white male was presented a grant from the United Negro College Fund on the Montel Williams Show. Also, whites can and do enroll in predominately black colleges. And as you stated, what if whites decided to protest something that blacks were doing? You said it would be an outrage. I really don’t think so and it would not be the first time. Do you recall all the white protesters’ outrage, watching black students walk into a newly integrated public school for the first time? Last, Rev. Jackson does not speak for the entire black race. I feel the same as you that Ms. Burk is not speaking on your behalf. Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays is right. A lot of good people, black and white, sent Augusta to hell when they sold their souls to get a consolidation bill passed. And, to make sure we never forget it, the devil sent us three of his finest—– Willie Mays, Marion Williams and Lee Beard — to constantly remind Augustans how we ended up in hell. I don’t know which is worse: the war in Iraq, or the cockroaches it drives out over here. To the white female: Blacks have been outraged for years because everything in this society is geared toward whites. That was the reason for forming such groups as the NAACP, in order to give minorities a voice. As for white males segregating, they have been segregating for decades. Where have you been? There are plenty of organizations and a lot of other things that are all white. For your information there are white people on these award shows and many of them participate in the NAACP as well, and they also are involved in the college funds, of which all the money does not go toward black people. “Either integrate everything or shut up.” This is what black people have been telling white people for years. They didn’t listen. We are the parents of an A.R. Johnson graduate, and we are terribly concerned about the replacement of the excellent teachers by the principal of the school, because they are not “her team players.” We hope the school board can see beyond this pettiness. Mr. Padgett does need to do some micromanaging.

Words “You’re free, and freedom is a great thing, and it’ll take time to restore chaos ... uh ... order out of chaos.” — President George W. Bush, during an April 13 press conference, after being asked what his message would be to the Iraqi people. Bush also said that the Iraq dictatorship had been one of the most “Hiroshima ... uh ... horrendous,” in history.

“I really think an apology should be given because all the accusations of wrongdoing were directed at our purchasing director. I think anyone who accuses to the magnitude that they (special grand jury) did, should apologize.” — Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams, quoted in The Metro Courier, about a recent audit of the Augusta-Richmond County Purchasing Department which indicated no wrongdoing on the part of department Director Geri Sams. The special grand jury report alleged impropriety on Sams’ part and suggested she be fired. To date, no indictments have arisen from special grand jury presents, which also targeted former Augusta Fire Chief Ronnie Few and other city officials.

“When it happens right at that moment, you feel like going to catch them and cut their throat. (But) you know you’re not supposed to do something like that.” — Arturo Mata, manager of Teresa’s Restaurant on Gordon Highway, as quoted in The Augusta Chronicle when asked how he feels when customers dine and dash.

If aliens landed in Augusta and turned on the radio, they would think there were only six songs in existence. And all six of the songs suck. Senator Joey Brush is up to his worthless legislation again. This time he introduced a bill (SB74) to eliminate discrimination against motorcyclists, the wearing of motorcycle clothing, and parking of motorcycles at business locations such as restaurants. Let’s pray for our troops. No matter whether you support the war and why we are there, these men and women are there to protect us and our right to freedom, so they deserve our prayers and God’s protection while they are over there. We can debate the issues later. Let’s just get this war over with and get our people home as fast as we can. What in the world has happened to courtesy? My family frequents many of the local restaurants and businesses in the CSRA, and

the No. 1 thing we have all noticed is poor service, and bad attitudes. People do not want to look at your sour face and lack of caring, when they are trying to eat or make purchases. Remember, without the customers frequenting your business, you the employee, will not have a job long. I guess all of the rain during Masters Week is just Mother Nature’s protest! Representative Fleming was a major player to bring us a rain tax in Columbia County while serving on the commission. The tax portion raised a ton of money but no solutions to the problems. Why would Columbia County Chairman Ron Cross think that an audience of 50 is representative of 90 thousand? He stated his surprise that 12 of the 50 favored giving $15 million to Richmond County for the concontinued on page 8

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continued from page 6 struction of “Billy’s horse barn” and civic center. If Cross had thought before his comment, he might have figured out that those in favor had a vested interest, were residents of Richmond County, and were members of the Metro Chamber, etc. Cross continues to ignore the will of the people or he’d look at the 2002 referendum questions that the voters supported. I really feel sorry that the people who come from out of town to see the Masters only get to see, besides a good golf tournament, the same old city and the same old dingy, dirty town. The city workers have had 360 days to clean it up and all they do is ride around in the city truck, burning the city gas and doing nothing. The city looks terrible: It’s dirty, and there’s trash and weeds everywhere. What do they do all day? Why is it that all of the schools, especially the high schools in Richmond County are not run as magnet schools? Each and every high school in Columbus, Ga., is set up with a magnet program. So why can’t Augusta-Richmond County schools bring their schools up to par? Why is it we only have three schools up to par and the other schools are suffering? I am a black minister responding to the white females comment about Martha Burk and the Rev. Jesse Jackson. I agree with her on the point of integrating everything. Since childhood I’ve heard nobody is different; everyone is the same. Dr. King spoke of

oneness, as did many other leaders who took value in human life regardless of color. But if one is to be a true patriot, he/she must live up to our own foreparents’ expectations, who penned the words “All men are created equal, with inalienable rights and that we are one nation under God.” Bottom line is, actions speak louder than words! The lady who asked for a TGIFriday and Ruby Tuesday in South Augusta is right. South Augusta needs so many things. Why don’t they build any coffee shops like Starbucks or Surrey Centers in South Augusta? Why don’t they build the new performing arts venue in South Augusta? South Augusta never gets anything! Just wanted you to observe that the United Nations today is every bit as relevant as a flatulent cockroach! Hey Martha, I hear there’s an all-male club in Baghdad. We’ll buy you the ticket! Thank God the Masters only comes once a year. It takes us that long to prepare for the next one. I know the tournament brings much needed money to the CSRA, but it really makes it inconvenient to get around town or even to work, for one solid week — that is, for those of us who still have to work the week of the Masters. Columbia County Commissioner Tom Mercer does not seem to get the picture. When he ran for office, he was in favor of a

separate Chamber of Commerce for Columbia County. He immediately backed off when political pressure was applied. Last year the voters mandated a separate Chamber overwhelmingly, but Mercer continues to ignore the will of the voters. Evidentially he lacks the sense to listen or the backbone to act; hence, he needs to be replaced next year. By the time this whine is printed, this years Masters should be over. I just want to know one thing: Someone please tell me that we don’t ever have to hear Martha Burk’s name again. To the whiner complaining about a corporal in the Army, in Iraq, working 24-hour days, earning about $2.50 an hour: OK, I checked it out on the Army home page, which anybody can do with some computer knowledge. The monthly basic pay for a married corporal (E4) with at least two years in the Army is $1,579.80; the corporal gets housing allowance of $504 a month. The corporal in Iraq, a combat zone, gets approximately $165 hazardous duty pay, not to mention tax exclusions. The corporal also gets free medical care and also gets a clothing allowance. So the corporal gets around $2,250 a month. Not too bad, and a bit more than $2.50 an hour. - Call our Whine Line at 510-2051 and leave your comments. We won’t use your name. Fax your whines by dialing (706) 733-6663 or e-mail your whines to whine@metspirit.com.

Suburban Torture

Thumbs Up With all the hype over Tiger Woods’ chances of winning the Masters and the enormous controversy of Martha Burk and her small crew of protesters outside the Augusta National’s gates, it was refreshing to see Mike Weir, the first Canadian to ever win a major, slip

JULIE

LARSON

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on Augusta’s green jacket this year. He was gracious and humble, and surprised the world with his win. He reminded us all what the Masters is really about. Not too shabby for a former hockey player who didn’t start playing golf seriously until college.

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Thumbs Down After all was said and done, it’s hard to say which was worse: the fact that the media spent so much time playing up Martha Burk’s pending protest of the Augusta National, or that the final result was a pathetically low turnout of fringe element goofballs and opportunists (such as the Tampa resident who tried to hawk anti-Burk memorabilia and reportedly fared poorly at the task). In the end, it remains to be seen if Burk’s

ostensible goal with more-fizzle-thanbang protest, the admission of women to the club, will come to fruition. Even on that score, however, one recent whiner to The Spirit seemed to aptly put the issue in perspective: “With the war in Iraq, SARS, the lousy economy and a million other things to worry about, do we really care whether a rich woman is allowed to play golf at the National?” Good question.

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THE 2003 VOLVO S60. STARTING FROM $26,370. MODEL SHOWN $27,315.* *MSRP of the 2003 Volvo 560A as shown with optional equipment is $27,315. Price does not include destination charge, tax and title. See your authorized Volvo retailer for complete details. ©2002 Volvo Cars of North America, LLC. Volvo for life™ is a registered trademark of Volvo. Always wear your seat belt.

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Opinion: Austin

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C A T E R I N G

U.S. Supreme Court: Burn American Flags, not Crosses

n what has to be the mother of all contradictions, the same Supreme Court that ruled American flagburning is protected free speech, now says that cross-burning isn’t. They say, you see, that cross-burning is such a nasty, hideous, intimidating thing that it, and only it, crosses the imaginary line between protected expression and actions that impugn the Constitutional guarantees of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for others. Bull****. Before any simpletons (that would be the staff of the Augusta Focus) get the impression that your friendly neighborhood columnist here has some affection for cross-burners, let me set you straight. I would like to take all the cross-burners and flag-burners and beat them senseless with the same steel mallet. Line ‘um up assembly linestyle and get whacking. Cross-burners, flag-burners, human shields, NAMBLA members, the far left, the far right, and all Dallas Cowboys fans. Smash ... bam ... smack. We could use the setup at Shapiro’s Meat Packing Plant. It’ll be fun. I’ll bring the beer; the nuts will already be there. But alas, the Constitution, and my own better sense, won’t let me do that. And good for them. I have a particular affinity for the First Amendment of that great document. I make my living with it. With its protection I am able to tell you that Ed McIntyre is a crook; Lowell Greenbaum is a coward; Pat Buchanan is a media whore; and Ann Coulter is a babe. And if I want to, I can use it to burn a flag. I used to be of the opinion that flagburning was something that should be outlawed, but after studying the law, I understood that was impossible. The only way flag burning could be outlawed was if the Constitution was amended. Whether that should be done or not is a whole other debate, but the law is clear: If you got a problem with the flag, or what it represents, light ‘em up Bubba. God forbid (apparently, literally) you do the same with a cross. While burning a flag only offends the patriotic men and women who fought under the darn thing, burning a cross offends minorities. Can’t do that. As I have gotten older, I have actually come to appreciate certain aspects of flag- and cross-burnings. Such demonstrations immediately identify socially and intellectually retarded, bombastic

demagogues without the possibility of error. You see a cross-burning, you know immediately who you have at the end of the match. It sends up a flag. No pun intended. The double standard established by the Supreme Court in this recent ruling is in very good company with a host of other legal double standards, some of which have been specifically approved by the high court. For instance, we can require picture IDs for gun purchases (which is a guaranteed Constitutional right), but we cannot require picture IDs to vote. A minor female cannot get a tattoo, body piercings, have dental work performed, or sign a contract without parental approval. However she can have her uterus vacuumed, at a federally funded abortion clinic, without Mom or Dad any the wiser. An 18-year-old can vote, buy property, and go to Iraq to be taken hostage as a member of the American military, but he cannot buy a beer. The law says he isn’t “mature enough” to handle it. “Geez Elmo, we would like to toast your return from war, and the fact that you were able to keep three of your four limbs. You want grape Fanta or sweet tea for the honor?” The American government can underwrite tobacco farmers for generations, then sit back and sue for damages when the use of tobacco makes people sick. If the contradictions weren’t so infuriating, they would make for wonderful comedy. I expect the political, social, religious and cultural subdivisions of our country to be full of contradiction and infuriating double standards. Hell, I have married two women in my life. I am used to it. I expect much better of a Supreme Court put in place to be the “regulator” of all law. Law that is supposed to be applied equally and without prejudice. I expect the flag and the cross to be equally protected, and for that matter, equally at risk. One is no better than the other, as far as symbols go. Politicians can be pressured by a concerned public, and that is the way it should be. When emotions and political correctness seep into the decisionmaking process of this nation’s highest legal authority, we are all in “heap big doo-doo.” — The views expressed in this column are the views of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. The archived Austin Rhodes columns can now be seen at www.wgac.com.

Opinion: Insider

The Special Grand Jury and the District Attorney

emember the special grand jury (SGJ) report? You know, the report that so deeply divided blacks and whites in Augusta that the wounds have yet to heal? The report that turned many leaders in the AfricanAmerican community against District Attorney Danny Craig? The SGJ report that ruined former Augusta Fire Chief Ronnie Few’s reputation and suggested that City Purchasing Department Director Geri Sams be fired? The special grand jury investigation that leakers from the district attorney’s office indicated would result in an indictment of one or more individuals? The report that resulted in the Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI) impounding records and conducting an investigation of its own? That grand jury report? The SGJ was empaneled in December 1999 and its final report was issued in November 2002. While Augustans have endured three-plus years of scathing presentments from the SPJ and waiting for the law enforcement officials to either take some action or just say “never mind”: (1) Chief Few has left his postAugusta fire chief job in Washington, D.C., and moved on. Friends of Few say he is currently making his living as a consultant. (2) An audit of Augusta’s purchasing department has basically cleared Sams of any specific wrongdoing and new procedures are in place to better manage the city’s purchasing process. Some Augusta commissioners are calling for an apology to Sams. (3) The district attorney’s office,

Former Augusta Fire Chief Ronnie Few

M E T R O

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District Attorney Danny Craig along with Craig’s personal reputation, has been tarnished because of the D.A.’s office involvement with state Sen. Don Cheeks’ effort to keep a friend of his off the registered sex offenders list. Craig’s less than forthcoming comments to the media yielded an apology from him and the entire affair sullied his pristine public image. (4) Several Augusta Commissioners have pushed for an investigation into the district attorney’s office, in a notso-veiled attempt to “pay back” Craig for what they perceive as a racially motivated grand jury report. (5) The community-at-large has become disenchanted with the delay in “closure” in the matter of the SGJ report. Yet, Augusta continues to wait to see if the fire-and-brimstone tone of the SGJ report yields any criminal charges. It is time for something to happen. In early March the D.A. and the GBI indicated that a final report would likely be out within a week or so. As The Insider goes to press, nothing. It is time for the GBI, Craig or whoever is in charge of this process to do something or, at the very least, communicate honestly about what is going on. The final conclusion of the SGJ investigation is hanging over Augusta like a cloud and it is time for this storm to pass. Somebody make a move.

— The views expressed in this column are the views of The Insider and do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher.

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12 M E T R O S P I R I T

MetroBeat

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Commission Stands Behind Geri Sams

or the past year, Geri Sams has found herself in the fight of her professional career. “Due to favoritism, lack of attention, sloppiness, stubbornness and incompetence, the purchasing department, under Geri Sams, has become a block to efficient government,” the Richmond County special grand jury wrote in a 52-page report that was released on Aug. 13, 2002. “Her point of view reigns and the system clogs up.” Slap. “Instead of encouraging responsible purchasing, (Sams) allowed cronies to play fast and loose with tax money,” the grand jury report stated. “Instead of solving problems, more programs are shifted out of purchasing and more red tape is added to an already bloated government.” Punch. “Replace Geri Sams,” the report stated. “There is a great need for a new director due to the failure of the present one to fulfill the most basic criteria for good government.” And that was the knockout. Or, at least, that’s what it appeared the members of the grand jury wanted. The message they sent the Augusta Commission was loud and clear: Get rid of Geri Sams. However, commissioners didn’t jump to conclusions. Instead, they hired Baird & Company Certified Public Accountants to perform an audit of the purchasing department. On April 3, Baird & Company presented the commission with its findings, which read like a birthday card to Sams compared to the allegations tossed at her by the grand jury.

“

Baird & Company basically found problems in the area of the computerization of the purchasing department’s records. For example, the audit stated that the updating and maintaining of the city’s vendor list is antiquated and much of the department’s records are still done manually. The audit also found that some city departments’ purchases had invoice dates prior to the date listed on the purchase orders. This finding indicated that some of the departments are buying items prior to going through the proper procedures outlined by the purchasing department. In order to correct the problem, the audit recommended that each department head be held accountable if he or she does not follow the proper purchasing procedures. Otherwise, the problem is simply dropped in the purchasing department’s lap. The audit report did not confirm the grand jury’s allegations that Sams is an “untouchable” department head who runs the purchasing department with “incompetence,” causing problems to “fester and infect the whole governmental structure.” In fact, Baird & Company reported nothing of the kind. For almost a year, Sams has been unable to publicly fight back against any of the allegations leveled at her by the grand jury, but on April 15, the Augusta Commission decided to speak up for her. “This was a kind of deliberate attempt by some in the special grand jury to character-assassinate some members of this government and, to me, they became very personal in their attacks,”

BY STACEY EIDSON

Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard said. “Clearly, the purchasing agent has been damaged by information that was put out by the special grand jury and I think this (audit) has vindicated her of that.” Beard said that he thought the commission should officially go on record supporting Sams. After the year Sams has experienced, Augusta Commissioner Marion Williams said that was the least the

commission could do. “Law has always, in my mind, supported that you were innocent until you are proven guilty,” Williams said. “But criminals have been treated better, I think, that we knew were guilty. “I think at least the grand jury ought to send a letter of apology (to Sams) to let people know that they’ve made a mistake,” Williams added. “And I think we as a board ought to wrap our arms

Clearly, the purchasing agent has been damaged by information that was put out by the special grand jury and I think this (audit) has vindicated her of that. – Augusta Commissioner Lee Beard

”

around all of those people who do a good job in this government and let them know that we support them.” Augusta Commissioner Ulmer Bridges said that it appeared that the audit proved that many of the problems facing the purchasing department dealt with the fact that it needed to be better computerized. “I don’t think these findings are anything that are earth-shattering or critical,” Bridges said. Augusta Commissioner Steve Shepard agreed, adding that he is currently chairing a subcommittee reviewing the information technology department’s main priorities in the government and a report is due out on the subject at the end of May. Once that report is completed and another administrative report is finalized in July, Shepard suggested that the commission send the special grand jury a copy of the two reports and the audit of the purchasing department. “And we would basically say, ‘The commission has conducted its own investigation and this is the result,’” Shepard said. Beard liked Shepard’s suggestion and made it into a formal motion that was unanimously adopted by the commission. Augusta Commissioner Willie Mays said he hoped the commission’s response to the special grand jury’s report would speed up the conclusion of the more-than-three-year investigation. “Come September or October, it will be four years into an ongoing investigation by the special grand jury because, technically speaking, we are still under investigation,” Mays said, referring to the fact that the special grand jury that was empaneled at the end of 1999 has not been officially dismissed. “Two United States presidents went before Congress to deal with impeachment quicker than we’ve finished the grand jury investigation of this city. “I say, when the show is over, close it down.” Before the commission left the topic, Mayor Pro Tem Richard Colclough personally addressed Sams, who was seated in the commission chambers and was clearly moved by the commission’s sentiments. “I want to say personally to the purchasing director right now, I will support you,” Colclough said. “As long as you’re here and as long as I’m here, I will support you. Thank you for a job well done.”

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Gold Dome Revue

M E T R O

GREG

LAND

S P I R I T A P R

Complete Coverage of the Georgia 2003 Legislative Session

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Nasty, Brutish and (not so) Short

ell, it’s official: This is, indeed, the longest session of the Georgia General Assembly on record. It’s also likely to be the least productive, most contentious, ugliest and generally counterproductive assemblage to gather under the Gold Dome since that edifice was first layered with fine Dahlonega ore. For this bunch, a massive gold brick might be more appropriate. Once again, a three-sided budget stalemate has suspended legislative action while the money mavens huddle in an effort to cover the state’s $16 billion spending needs. On one side is the governor, who continues to insist that a tax on tobacco (and, he still mutters quietly, alcohol) would plug the gap. House Democrats say they’d be willing to help him out, but their Republican counterparts have made it clear that few will vote for any sort of tax increase; for them — including all four Republican members of our own delegation, who voted down the tax hikes — more spending cuts are the answer (although they’re less forthcoming as to from whence those slices from already gutted agencies would come). Like Granny Clampett, they’re ag’in it, and that’s that. Democratic reps, who’ve offered alternatives, including a milder tobacco tax hike, raising the state sales tax (!) or reinstating the tax on groceries, have been shot down at every turn, and they’re not about to use their House majority to pass any tax hikes without substantial GOP support and provide massive election ammo for their opponents. In the Senate, a combination of massive spending cuts and accounting tricks has allowed for passage of a bill that, on paper at least, allows the senior body to puff that it’s done its part in producing a balanced budget, including $185 million raised by moving up the date state payroll taxes come due and $487 million in cuts to asyet-unidentified state agencies (but including major slashes in education and medical care for poor children) and whacking 60 percent from the lieutenant governor’s office. (Payback’s a mother, ain’t it?)

Just don’t look too closely, or inquire about the wisdom of massive down-theroad tax breaks when we’ve already robbed Peter, written Paul a rubber check and laid off Mark, Luke and John. On Monday, following a weekend “budget summit,” lawmakers emerged with a budget hole estimated at $750 million and reported no progress. They’ve adjourned ’til Thursday, and will meet again next Tuesday and wrap up the session the following Thursday. Then — unless somebody displays some spine, leadership and/or imagination — they’ll be back for a special session to wrestle some more. The fun never ends. And speaking of fun, the repercussions from last week’s House vote to immediately replace the current state flag with an old Confederate national flag version, then allow voters to decide whether they want to keep it or the 1956-2001 “Stars and Bars” version (“Sonny’s Flag”) continue to rumble. The reader may recall that, after that vote — in which a bunch of white, mostly urban Democrats and two Republicans joined all the black representatives in futile opposition — Republicans were rubbing their hands in glee at having split the opposing party with the oldest GOP trick in the Southern strategy book: race-baiting. On Thursday, a tearful Sen. Mary Squires, a white Democrat from Norcross, took the well to blast the governor as a racist, then stormed downstairs to confront him personally. Perdue, of course, denied the charge, and later expressed some anger at the “name-calling.” (Pretty thin-skinned for a guy who traveled the state blasting “King Roy” and portrayed his predecessor as a giant rat, no?) The next day everyone enjoyed a procession of GOP lawmakers — all suitably draped in High Dudgeon and (self) Righteous Indignation — defending the governor and themselves from such assertions. And they’re undoubtedly correct; it’s highly likely that few of these legislative worthies are active “racists” — what they are, in fact, is even more despicable: They’re racial profiteers, playing on the ignorance and resentment of the white

“flaggers” and their supporters to crawl to higher office. And that deception may soon be apparent to all: In spite of all the promises to “let the people decide” on the old starry cross, Republicans have been quietly telegraphing their willingness to scrap the “Stars and Bars” component of any vote — if their black colleagues will help pass some favorite legislation now stuck in the Democrat-controlled House, such as Senate redistricting, the governor’s education un-reform package and the “Woman’s Right To Be Treated Like an Idiot Act.” For their part, black lawmakers — who rightly feel betrayed by all concerned — are unlikely to make common cause with the Grand Old Party that re-opened this whole stinking can of worms. But some have indicated that, as retribution to their own weak-willed party colleagues, they may press Attorney General Thurbert Baker to drop his legal defense of a Senate redistricting map that could, depending on a U.S. Supreme Court ruling, return the Senate to Democratic hands. And why not? With friends like theirs … (Then there’s the whole issue of cost. The secretary of state’s office said last week that it cost some $280,000 to replace all the state flags two years ago; we may have to do it twice, if the “compromise“ being floated stays alive. And that the expense of printing ballots for next year’s vote could run much higher, since the colored flag images would have to be printed on each county’s ballot — which could reportedly run as high as $4 per ballot in some smaller counties.) In any case, it seems we’ll have one nice Confederate flag or another to wave at all the tourists and business folk as they drive through, taking their money with them. GDR’s advice? Invest in local flag companies. Hell, start your own — this nonsense could go on for years. But, despite this being the least productive session anyone can recall, some bills were moved last week: • The Senate tacked its own version of a measure funding a statewide indigent defense system onto a House bill, then passed it unanimously, assuring that a con-

Gov. Sonny Perdue ference committee will work out the differences. Supporters say either version is a dramatic improvement. • Overriding objections from Senate Majority Leader Eric Johnson (RSavannah) and its own chairman, the Senate Natural Resources Committee passed a water bill that environmentalists, and many lawmakers from regions where water is growing scarce, say could lead to private landowners buying and selling water-withdrawal permits, to the detriment of those not fortunate enough (or well-connected enough) to have them. “This is like selling air,” fumed Johnson. • A bill effectively ending the state’s “blue laws” has passed the House and is in the Senate. The measure would allow local governments to decide whether to allow sales on Sundays, and would make mandatory closing time 4:30 a.m. • And finally, Sen. Joey Brush (RMartinez) once again saw his perennial legislation doing away with mandatory motorcycle helmets go down in flames. Say what you will about the smiling senator, you gotta give him credit for persistence.

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The New Face of Augusta

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While the rest of Augusta continues the Martha-Hootie debate, downtowners are more concerned about the future of their tightly knit community.

or three people so vastly different, Shishir Chokshi, Athary Koning and Pete Redmond have a lot in common. All spent a greater part of their youth moving from place to place – even country to country. All are fairly young, with Chokshi clocking in the youngest at 28 and Redmond laughing off requests for his age with “let’s just say I’m in my thirties.” They are, respectively, an artist, a business owner and an aspiring author who all live or work downtown, know each other and hang out together. And all three call Augusta home. They may shake their heads at the mention of the names Martha and Hootie but, truth be told, the Masters doesn’t significantly affect their lives. While many avoid the yearly mayhem by leaving town, these three (among many other downtowners) stay, watching the circus with detached amusement. They may not wear National green or own one of the mammoth houses on Walton Way, but they are as much a part of the area as those the rest of the world sees during Augusta’s week in the spotlight. They are also part of a group that is increasing in size and influence – a group that is beginning to wonder what the future holds for the funky, eclectic corner of the world they love so much and what they can do to keep it heading in the right direction. The possibilities, they believe, are endless.

Shishir Chokshi Any day but Sunday, from 10-11 a.m., it would be highly unusual not to see Shishir Chokshi at Metro — drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes and playing a couple of games of chess with whomever happens to be around. It’s as much a part of his daily ritual as what he does immediately afterward when he walks down to the end of the block, hangs a right on 10th and heads across the street to Tire City, a former garage he turned into an art studio. There, Shishir usually spends the rest of his day creating pottery, giving individual lessons and entertaining school

groups who have made Tire City an increasingly popular field trip destination. Inside the garage and out, there are places to sit – an invitation to anyone walking by to kick back, relax and observe. Shishir and the six artists he rents space to enjoy and encourage this kind of interaction. “If someone is strolling around the corner, we want them to be able to come over and talk to us about whatever we’re doing. It just creates one more interesting thing going on downtown,” he said. “There’s a really interesting dialogue that can be created with the public.” On this particular day, observers take in a particularly interesting scene. Shishir is hurriedly working to complete a custom order – 20 logo mugs for a local political group – while he and another Tire City artist discuss the logistics of a presentation for some local kindergartners. Another artist walks by on her way outside, lugging a wooden bust she’s obviously been working on for some time and everyone stops momentarily to admire the sculpture. When, after a couple of moments, she walks in the shop and then back out carrying a chainsaw in one hand and a gas can in another, no one pays much attention. Shishir’s current existence is a far cry from his childhood, when his dad’s job required that the family move frequently. After stops in Minnesota, California, Florida and Saudi Arabia, the Chokshis came to Augusta in 1989 and have been in the area ever since. “I pretty much call Augusta my home,” he explained. “For someone who moved around as much as I did, it’s nice to have the sense of belonging that I feel here.” That sense of belonging didn’t come easily, though. After a short stint at the University of Georgia, Shishir came back to Augusta and began attending ASU. Reveling in his “newfound freedom,” he admits he partied a little too much and didn’t focus on school. It took a latenight brawl in front of a Broad Street bar, which left him injured and shaken, to make him see that he needed a change. “It changed my life drastically,” he remembered. “It redefined how I saw this place. It’s not just a drinking and

Shishir Chokshi party place, but a place to do business.” Ironically, it wasn’t until Shishir moved to North Augusta that he discovered his niche in Tire City, the opening of which coincided with his wedding to an Augusta native. He admits that Tara would probably like to move, but Shishir feels that recreating this atmosphere continued on page 18

Story and Photography by Amy Fennell Christian

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Street – like the riverfront – for development, and attract more retail stores and corporate offices. “It’s a gamble for anyone who opens something down here,” Shishir admitted, “but it’s going to take more people with courage to come down here and say, ‘We’ll take that chance or we’ll eat the money until things down here turn around.’” And what about the pioneers like Shishir and his fellow friends and business owners? “I’m not worried about it, even if I have to leave. It would make me sad to leave and make other people sad to leave, but I really don’t believe that a community would uproot all of the people who got them to where they are.”

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Athary Koning

S P I R I T A P R

Athary Koning with daughter, Kat continued from page 16 somewhere else would be next to impossible. Nowhere else, for example, could he find a concentrated area in which so many friends of approximately the same age were opening businesses. And Shishir is convinced that Tire City couldn’t thrive anywhere else. As with any place, however, there are things that could be changed, and that’s where Shishir feels his role as an artist comes in. “The cultural standing of Augusta benefits from artists staying here,” he said. “It’s the things I don’t like that keep me here. Someone has to stick around here to change the things they don’t like. I don’t know if I can, but I’ve committed myself to this place for three years, so we’ll see how it goes.” The problems facing the future of downtown are complex – decisions about the area are often made by people other than those who live there; chain stores already exist on Washington Road and aren’t really needed; and it’s a bar district with too many bars. “I think the question is how to create more night activity and I think the key is the river,” Shishir said. “We need a place where families can go, because, right now, downtown is a place for people between the ages of 18 and 35 to come and party and that’s about it.” The answers? Target downtown areas other than Broad

A sign taped to the door of A Silver Lining, Athary Koning’s jewelry store/art gallery might read, “On a coffee break. Back in 15 minutes.” If, however, Athary has been around her more politically motivated friends, it might say, “We are discussing homogeny among the pantheon of downtown galleries. Please stop by Metro for a proxy vote.” Either way, the translation is the same. “I guarantee if you see a sign on the door, we’re down the street having a glass of wine,” she laughed. Such is the Zen of Athary, as many of her friends have dubbed the feeling they get when in her presence. Want to take a wine break on a slow afternoon? Let’s go. Open the jewelry cases and try things on — alone? No problem. Hang out on the sofas behind the counter? Sounds good. Write notes on the walls? All they need is a new coat of paint — eventually. “Sometimes I wonder if I have ‘therapist’ written across my forehead,” she said, still laughing. “Everyone tells me that my place is like the movie ‘Barbershop’ – just a slew of people with nothing and everything to do. But it’s so good because we’re never alone and never lonely, and I don’t think I would encounter that in a big city. I’d have to fend for myself.” Fending for herself is something Athary is not likely to have to do anytime soon. She has an extended family that includes two ex-husbands and two children (all of whom get along well), a community of fellow business owners who support each other, and friends everywhere she goes. “It’s strange because, if you see me around with my friends, they’re all in their early twenties and I’m going to be 32. I guess I just refuse to grow up,” she said. “When I’m a mom, I’m a great mom. But when the kids are fed and in bed, then it’s time for me and I’ll paint or go out with my friends. “That’s why I’m so grateful for this community and how close we are,” she continued. “We all babysit whatever needs it – houses, pets, newborns.” Athary seems like such a fixture downtown that it’s often hard to believe that the store has only been open three years and that most people are just beginning to

realize that she’s the owner. Even more amazing is the story of how she got here. The daughter of a Dutch father and an Indonesian mother, Athary and her sister were raised in Holland, but moved to Florida when her father took a teaching position at the University of Miami. Athary had never heard of Augusta before she, along with her 9-year-old daughter Kat, moved here over four years ago to be with the medical student she was engaged to. She enrolled in pre-law classes at ASU, but the bottom soon dropped out of her plans when, during a regular check-up, she was diagnosed with uterine tumors and doctors told her that time was running out for her to have more children. After one miscarriage, her second pregnancy was going well so Athary traded high-stress law school for a more laid-back career. “I was four months pregnant and she was healthy, so that’s why we called the store A Silver Lining,” she explained. “It kind of put everything in perspective.” Simone and Kat are now as much of a presence downtown as their mom, and Athary said she never really considered locating her store in any other area. “I liked the buildings and the architecture, and I really thought it was starting to come back, to be revived,” she explained. “Downtowns are always great no matter where you go. It’s where the hip, happening people who take risks are. And, look at me. I’m not really a suburbia type of person.” Never in doubt that she made the right decision, Athary can’t imagine living without the friends she’s made and the sense of community she feels with other downtown business owners and residents. The area continues to blossom and Athary sees proof every day that people in other parts of the city are taking them seriously. The one thing she doesn’t understand is why so many people are so dissatisfied with the town they grew up in. “I’m so happy to be in Augusta and people who have lived here all their lives can’t wait to leave,” she said. “Local people don’t seem to like to go downtown or to the river, but there are cool spots anywhere you go. You have to make your own adventure.”

Pete Redmond It’s a typical Tuesday night at Metro – live Irish music fills the air, locals pack each table, and Pete Redmond is behind the bar. Pete is not a bartender; he just knows everyone who works there well enough to get away with coming and going at will. In fact, it seems Pete knows everyone — from the students studying at one table to the middle-aged gentleman in golf cleats and sweater standing at the bar. He can’t walk more than a few feet without stopping to talk to, or sitting down at a table with, his many friends and acquaintances and that, he says, sums up what is so great about downtown. “There are good people here,” Pete observed, happily

AUGUSTA TELEPHONE Celebrating 20 Years

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19 looking around the room. “It’s kind of a gulag mentality, you know? We all cling together. It’s the opposite of being a doctor in a bigger city and only knowing other doctors. That, I think, is bad. It’s a little too homogenous.” Downtown, on the other hand, is anything but homogenous. “Only in downtown do you see a mix of people hanging out with each other,” he said. “I don’t think race relations in Augusta are particularly malignant — although it’s easy for me to say as a white guy — there just seems to be a hands-off policy.” An Army brat whose family moved around a lot, Pete learned to make friends rather than “get stomped by bullies.” He also developed a love for reading and writing during the frequent occasions when he was grounded. “I didn’t actually behave a lot,” he said, recalling a particular time when he left class and just kept walking. The MPs eventually caught up with him, but not before he had walked off base and into town. “Reading and writing seemed the thing to do since I wasn’t allowed to do much else.” Pete’s family moved to Augusta when he was in high school and, tired of moving from place to place, decided to stay after his father retired. Pete moved away for a time, but eventually came back. “I hated Augusta when I lived here when I was younger, so I decided when I moved back that I was going to make it home or try my best to make it home,” he said. A medical writer and editor for the Center for Total Access at Ft. Gordon who has “several novels in various stages of completion,” Pete has formed a new appreciation for his adopted hometown. “Atlanta, for instance, is very suburban and has no sense of place,” Pete explained. “Augusta, for all its faults, at least has a sense of place and it seems like it has one despite the city government’s best efforts. It seems the powers-that-be don’t prize what they have. They’re more interested in having every road look like Washington Road.” Pete and the many other residents who live close to

Broad Street, on the other hand, are much more interested in keeping downtown the way it is now – a throwback to times when people actually got out of their cars and homes, walked around, and enjoyed each other’s company. How to keep that atmosphere without the area suffering from lack of outside interest is the problem. “It’s frustrating because it probably needs something like The Gap or stores like that to make it a destination for most people,” he said. “That may be what it takes to get more people downtown but I don’t know. It would certainly be a mixed blessing. I think something would be lost because of it.” There are many aspects of downtown that may save it from that fate, not the least of which is the loyalty of many of the current business owners. “There are people who care enough about it to stay,” he said. “Metro, Nachos, Blue Sky, the Soul Bar – they all had opportunities to leave but decided to make this their home. They are renovating Augusta in a way.” Downtown also has several other things going for it, including its small-scale (“It’s not so big that you don’t see people you know”), the physical landscape (“The Augusta Canal is a gem and it’s right here”), the historic buildings (“People spend millions doing bad imitations of these buildings”) and the relatively inexpensive cost of living (“People can actually afford to live here”). What will matter most to Augusta’s – and downtown’s — future, in Pete’s opinion, is a development plan that takes all these factors into account. Getting the city’s elected officials to agree on one is a completely different matter. “A development plan would be nice, but I think it would take a level of sophistication and agreement that the city government has yet to reach,” he said. “The salvation of Augusta is not going to be in making it like every place else,” he predicted. “It is going to be in making it most like Augusta. Now what Augusta is remains to be seen.”

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ith harbored hostilities lurking from the Iraq war, terror alerts in effect and visions of the Sept. 11 attacks still firmly etched in our minds, many would probably view the job of flight attendant as a vocation for only the bravest — or, the craziest. But, despite the way terrorism has changed the face of their job, George and Scott, two flight attendants for Northwest Airlines, want nothing more than to be able to take to the skies again. Both Detroit residents, George and Scott received notice in late March that they would be furloughed after the onset of the war with Iraq due to decimated flight bookings. They offered to talk about the current situation in the industry and the atmosphere for flight attendants today, but requested during a phone interview that their last names not be used because of confidentiality rules with the airline. The two join the ranks of more than 150,000 airline employees in the nation who have either been laid off or placed on indefinite leave for reasons attributable to the war with Iraq and post-Sept. 11 events, according to the Association of Flight Attendants, a flight attendant union based in Washington, D.C. A spokesperson for AFA estimated that flight attendants represent roughly 20,000 of those displaced or laid-off airline workers.

BY BRIAN NEILL George, a native of Greece, and Scott, who spent most of his life in Florida, both started working as flight attendants for Northwest roughly six years ago. George said he was initially drawn to the job for the flexible schedule it afforded. “The time off was an important factor, because we only work two weeks a month, if that, usually from 11 days to 15 days a month,” George, 40, said. “The flexibility with your schedule, you can work weekends if you want; you can work weekdays. Of course, it depends on your seniority status. The pay is pretty good compared to other jobs, for the same amount of hours, that is. And travel benefits, of course. That used to be one of the factors. You could go basically wherever you wanted for peanuts.” That’s what most attracted 39-year-old Scott to the career. Through his flight attendant job, Scott said, the world has become a smaller place, enabling him to form friendships with people around the globe — a unique opportunity most jobs don’t provide. But since Sept. 11, George and Scott say their jobs have drastically changed. “Let me put it to you this way: If you were hunted by a Mafia person ... and you didn’t know whether, every time you put your key in the ignition you were going to be killed or not, it’s the same thing,” Scott said. “Every time I get on a plane, I don’t know whether I’m going to take a missile up the exhaust pipe, or some idiot’s going to stand up with a bag of anthrax, or a guy’s going to open up a can of Sarin gas and spray it in the plane. Because people sneak guns, knives; these things are still coming through security. “Security is not what (Secretary of Homeland Security) Tom Ridge would like us to believe.” George and Scott have both taken part in training that enables them to screen the passengers aboard the aircraft for suspicious behavior, and to deal with terrorist activity, if necessary. “If anything, it (9/11) added responsibilities and increased paranoia — I guess paranoia is a bad word, but it increased awareness, gave us a heightened sense of awareness,” Scott said. “There’s things I can’t talk to you about because of national security and airline security, but we do watch the passengers and we watch for certain types of behavior. “And, if anyone meets that criteria, well, they’re going to have a big problem.” However, while acknowledging that Northwest has instituted reasonable cabin-response training, Dawn Deeks, a spokesperson for AFA, said most airlines have not. The AFA represents 50,000 flight attendants at 26 airlines. Northwest is not an AFA member, Deeks said. “Northwest actually has a voluntary training program that’s a little better than some of the airlines,” Deeks said, stressing the fact that the training is not mandatory. “A lot of the airlines aren’t offering an extra voluntary training program. A lot of our airlines, after Sept. 11, their updated training was having flight attendants watch an hour-long video. No hands-on training at a lot of airlines, and if there is hands-on training, it’s literally that they get to practice one (defensive) move, one or two times. It’s wholly inadequate. “I think passengers truly believe that flight attendants have been trained to fight off an attacker, and that’s not the case.” That’s not to say many flight attendants don’t want the additional training. But with the airline industry in financial chaos through flight cancellations brought on by travel worries, funding for such training has been hard to find, Deeks and other industry experts say. Although pre-boarding security has improved vastly since Sept. 11, Deeks said there are still those occasionally reported security breaches that drive home the necessity for onboard defense training.

“We still have these media reports where they see what they can get through and invariably they get these contraband items through,” Deeks said. “Which makes the training for the flight attendants all that more important, because we know that the ground screening is not foolproof. So we need to make sure that the flight attendants are trained to deal with the threat on the aircraft.” Adding insult to injury, many flight attendants have been asked not only to forego such training, but also to accept less pay for jobs that carry everincreasing responsibility. As Scott says: “What I’m trained to do, I work as an EMT in flight. I’m trained as an emergency medical technician, basically. I’m trained to be a terrorist or security expert now. I’m trained to stop, or at least deflect, an attack on the cockpit. I’m asked to be a customer resolution officer. I’m asked to be a marketing person, you know? I’m asked to do all these things, but now they want me to do it for less.” Still, that hasn’t kept even those flight attendants who’ve found themselves on the very front lines of the terrorism battle from returning to their jobs. That seems evident in the case involving Cristina Jones and Hermis Moutardier, the two American Airlines flight attendants who assisted in taking down Richard Reid, as he attempted to light a bomb in his shoe on a U.S.-bound flight from Paris. “I know I was there that day, on that flight, for a reason,” Moutardier told Time magazine for an article that ran in September. “Now I need to get back to work because I’m doing what I love.” Jones, after reportedly working through some initial anxiety, also returned to her job at American Airlines. George, of Northwest, acknowledges

that, although the workplace for him has changed greatly, he doesn’t walk around in a constant state of fear. “I really don’t, but I’m sure people do think (the worst),” George said. “I always have the philosophy that, if something’s going to happen, it’s going to happen, and there’s nothing you can do about it. “So, I don’t get on the plane and constantly think that somebody’s going to blow me up, no. But I have looked at people twice since 9-11, you know?” Neither George nor Scott want to give up their jobs, however. That is evident in the silence on Scott’s part as a jet is heard flying over his home, headed to the Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport, a Northwest hub. “Yeah, when I look at the planes flying over it really bothers me, because I love my job,” Scott said, noticeably upset. “I love my way of life. I almost identify with it.” A day after this interview, Scott was informed that he’d be able to continue to fly with Northwest out of New York because other flight attendants had taken voluntary furloughs. However, the slot is only temporary and it means he’ll have to relocate. “Every day I get on that plane, it’s frustrating to me because I do care about what I do, so much,” Scott said. “It’s not just Northwest Airlines; it’s a close-knit family of people. I mean, I know everybody there, from Detroit to Minneapolis. The world has become such a small place to me. I know people in Japan; I know people in Amsterdam. I write to these people; I talk to them. It’s like my neighborhood. And then to have that taken away all of the sudden, not only is it frightening, it’s shocking. “My life has been turned upside down, basically.”

“Every time I get on a plane, I don’t know whether I’m going to take a missile up the exhaust pipe, or some idiot’s going to stand up with a bag of anthrax, or a guy’s going to open up a can of Sarin gas and spray it in the plane. Because people sneak guns, knives, these things are still coming through security. Security is not what (Secretary of Homeland Security) Tom Ridge would like us to believe.”

21 M E T R O S P I R I T A P R 1 7

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AUGUSTA WOMEN’S CLUB BENEFIT SPAGHETTI DINNER April 24, 4-7 p.m. at The Clubhouse, 1005 Milledge Rd. Cost is $7. For information, contact Ramona Mills, 868-5313. ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION AUGUSTA REGIONAL OFFICE GOLF TOURNAMENT April 22, 1 p.m., at The River golf club. For information on how to register, call 731-9060. MILLION DOLLAR SHOOTOUT FOR ANIA to help defray transplant-related medical expenses for a local child. Held April 19, 10 a.m. at the Forrest Hills Golf Club. Tickets are $10. For more information, call 840-6698. DERBY DAY KENTUCKY DERBY PARTY May 3, 3-7 p.m., to raise money for the Augusta Training Shop for the Handicapped. The Kentucky Derby will be televised on big screens, and live enter tainment, raffles, a fashionable hat contest and more will be featured. Tickets are $30 per person. For more information, visit www.augustatrainingshop.com or call 738-1358. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL is in need of dog and cat food, cat lit ter and other pet items, as well as monetary donations to help pay for vaccinations. Donations accepted during regular business hours, Tues.Sun., 1-5 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Call 7906836 for information. SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER BLOOD DRIVES in various locations around the CSRA this month. The blood center is urging people of all blood types to donate in order to combat a blood supply shor tage. For detailed information on locations and times to donate, visit www.shepeardblood.org. You may also call Susan Edwards at (803) 6437996 for information on Aiken locations and Nancy Szocinski at 737-4551 for information on all other locations. AMERICAN RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES at the Aiken Red Cross Blood Center on Millbrook Drive and the Augusta Red Cross Blood Center on Pleasant Home Road. The bloodmobile will also stop at various area locations this week. For a complete list, call the Aiken Blood Center at (803) 642-5180 or the Augusta Blood Center at 868-8800.

Learning CSRA BDPA SOUTHEASTERN IT CONFERENCE with computer scientist Philip Emeagwali April 25-27 at For t Discovery. Activities include professional workshop, youth conference, banquet and leadership breakfast. Cost is $150 for adults and $15 for youth. For information or to register, call 796-0699 or visit www.bdpacsraga.org. “USING THE COMPUTER AND UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE OF TECHNOLOGY” workshop April 26, 1:304:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. 722-6275. “CARING FOR YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS AND BOOKS: A

Covenant Presbyterian Church Sunday Services

8:30 am Communion 9:45am Church School 11:00am Worship Service

Wednesday Night Fellowship 5:45pm Nursery provided for all church events Rev. Rob Watkins, Pastor 3131 Walton Way (Corner of Walton Way & Aumond Rd) 733-0513 A PC (USA) Congregation

27 M E T R O S P I R I T A P R 1 7 2 0 0 3

PRESERVATION WORKSHOP” at the Ma xwell Branch 28 BASIC Library April 26, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Registration required. Call 793-2020.

M E T INTRODUCTION TO MICROSOFT WORD course April 23, R 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Space is limited; regisO tration required. 863-1946. S P I R I T

LANGUAGE SAMPLER free classes in Greek, German, French and Spanish through April 22 at the Gibbs Library. 863-1946.

USC-AIKEN CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: Drama and more. USC-Aiken also offers Education A to Go classes online. Call the Office of Continuing Education P at (803) 641-3288.

1 AUGUSTA STATE UNIVERSITY CONTINUING EDUCATION is 7 now offering the following classes: Garden Design,

Intermediate Photography, Acting Workshop, Beginning Shag,

2 Intro to Mountain Biking and Trails, Intermediate Line Dance, 0 Drivers Education and more. Also, ASU offers online cours0 es. For more information, call 737-1636 or visit 3

www.ced.aug.edu.

AIKEN TECH CONTINUING EDUCATION offers the following courses: PCs 101, Microsof t Word, Microsof t Excel, Infant Massage, Health Care Career Courses, Beginning Cake Decorating, Professional Cooking, Real Estate Courses, Floral Design, Defensive Driving, Leadership and Employee Development and more. Aiken Tech also offers Education to Go classes online. For more information or to register, call (803) 593-9231, ex t. 1230.

Health HEALTH AND WELLNESS FAIR 7-8:30 p.m. April 24 at St. Joseph Health Care Center in Daniel Village. Learn about health techniques and therapies such as massage therapy, magnetic technology, acupuncture and more. Call 667-8734. “CHANGE! WHO’S IN CONTROL?” FREE HEALTH EDUCATION COURSE at the Life Learning Center April 24, 2:30 p.m. Class addresses changes in feelings, thoughts, emotions, behavior and personality. To register, call 731-7275, ex t. 7989. COPING SKILLS GROUP FOR WOMEN SUFFERING FROM CHRONIC PELVIC PAIN is a 12-week program to help women effectively manage chronic pelvic pain. Begins in mid-April at MCG. For more info, contact Lara Stepleman or Erin Elfant at 721-7969.

The Georgia State Drug-Free Powerlifting Championships will be at the Martial Arts Tournament Center April 19. For more info or an appointment, call the St. Vincent dePaul Health Center at 828-3444. W.G. WATSON, M.D., WOMEN’S CENTER CONDUCTS EDUCATION CLASSES at University Hospital. Course topics include Lamaze, breast feeding, parenting and grandparenting. Par tners will learn positive suppor t techniques. There are also programs designed to help older siblings adjust to new family members. Some classes are free, while others require a fee. Registration is required by calling 774-2825.

Kids

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: If you want to stop using any drugs, there is a way out. Help is available at no cost. Call the Narcotics Anonymous help line for information and meeting schedules at 855-2419.

KIDS’ EARTH DAY 2003 April 26, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at Lions Memorial Field in Nor th Augusta. Free admission. In case of rain, event will be held at the Riverview Park Activities Center. Call 441-4224, 641-7670 or 557-8124 for details.

DIET COUNSELING CLASSES for diabetics and those with high cholesterol at CSRA Par tners in Health, 1220 Augusta West Parkway. Free. Call 860-3001 for class schedule.

APRIL FAMILY FUN DAY April 27 at the Augusta Museum of History features American Revolutionary War re-enactors from 2-4 p.m. Call 722-8454 for more information.

PROJECT LINK COMMUNITY LECTURE SERIES is held the first Tuesday of every month and is sponsored by the MCG Children’s Medical Center. Project Link provides educational resources and guidance for families who have children with developmental delays, disabilities and other specialized health concerns. Free and open to the public; takes place from 6:30-8 p.m. in the main conference room at the Children’s Medical Center. Call 721-6838 for information.

ART FOR TOTS WORKSHOP April 26, 10-11:30 a.m. at the Ger trude Herber t Institute of Ar t. Registration required; call 722-5495.

UNIVERSITY HEALTH CARE SYSTEM COMMUNITY EDUCATION holds workshops, seminars and classes on a variety of topics: weight and nutrition, women’s health, cancer, diabetes, seniors’ health and more. Suppor t groups and health screenings are also offered. Call 736-0847 for details.

APPLICATIONS FOR FORT DISCOVERY SUMMER CAMPS now available. A variety of camps are available for young scientists of all ages. Download an applicatioin at www.NationalScienceCenter.org or contact Lisa Golden at 821-0646.

PEACHCARE FOR KIDS AND RIGHT FROM THE START MEDICADE offers free or low-cost health coverage to qualifying families. Coverage includes prenatal care, hospitalization, vaccines, dental and vision care and is available to pregnant women of all ages and to children through age 19. Contact the RSM Project at 729-2086 or 721-5611 for information.

EASTER EGGSTRAVAGANZA April 19 in downtown Aiken. The Easter Bunny will be at Newberry Hall to hide decorated ping-pong balls for kids ages 2-10 to find. There is no cost to par ticipate, but don’t forget your Easter basket. For more info, call the Aiken Downtown Development Association, (803) 649-2221.

YOGA CLASSES at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital are held on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 7-8 a.m. for $45/month or 10:30 a.m. to noon for $55/month. Call 823-6294.

OPEN DOOR CARNIVAL April 27, 12:30-4 p.m. at the Open Door Preschool, 3005 Walton Way. Pony rides, a pet ting zoo, blow-up slide, games, craf ts and more will be available. Tickets are 50 cents. For information, contact Michelle Johnson, 651-8824.

FREE HIV/AIDS TESTING every Tuesday from 4 to 7 p.m. at St. Stephen’s Ministry, 922 Greene Street. Free anonymous testing, pre- and post-test counseling and education. HATHA YOGA CLASSES at the St. Joseph Home Health Care Center in Daniel Village Plaza. Held 10 a.m. to noon Monday, Wednesday and Friday and 6:30-8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday. $10 per class or $60 a month for unlimited classes. Mats are provided, but bring a towel and a water bot tle. Call Tess at 738-2782 for more information. A FREE WOMEN’S HEALTH CLINIC is held from 6-8 p.m. on Tuesdays at the Salvation Army and Welfare Center, 1383 Greene St. Services include Pap smear, breast exam and the diagnosis and treatment of sexually transmit ted diseases.

PLAYGROUND PLAYHOUSE PRESENTS “RAPUNZEL: THE MUSICAL” April 29, 7 p.m., at USC-Aiken’s Etherredge Center. Tickets are $5 adults and $3 children. For more information, or to reserve tickets, call (803) 641-3305.

SPECIAL STORYTIME with puppets, fingerplays, stories and songs April 23, 10:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. at the Appleby Branch Library. 736-6244. FAMILY GAME NIGHT April 24, 6-8 p.m. at the Gibbs Library. Bring the whole family and play games like Junior Pictionary, Junior Scrabble, Uno and more. You may also bring your own board game or card game. Space is limited, so register by calling the library at 863-1946. STORYLAND THEATRE is now taking reservations for the 2003-2004 season: “Sleeping Beauty” Oct. 28-Nov. 1, “The

Cour tship of Senorita Florabella” Feb. 24-29 and “Hansel and Gretel” April 13-17. Season tickets for weekday school per formances are $9 per student; season tickets for weekend family matinees are $10.50 per person. For reservations, call Storyland Theatre at 736-3455 or fa x a request to 736-3349.

through the end of the 2002-2003 school year. A variety of programs will be offered. Services include van pick-up at select schools, evening drop-off, homework room and hot evening meal. Open to girls in kindergar ten through high school. Af ter-school program offered 2:30-6 p.m. Mon.-Fri. For more information, call 733-2512.

PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK FAMILY DISCOVERY SERIES presentatiion on snakes April 24, 5:30-7:30 p.m. at the Pharmacia Pavilion. Bring the family and a picnic dinner. Call 828-2109 for more information.

YOUTH LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT SKILLS PROGRAM for teens ages 12-19 held the third Saturday of the month at the Lucy Craft Laney Museum of Black History. Call 724-3576.

EASTER BUNNY BOP April 19, 10 a.m.-noon at the H.O. Weeks Center Soccer Field in Aiken. Carnival games, rides, non-competitive egg hunt and a visit from the Easter Bunny for kids ages 10 and under. Call (803) 642-7631 for more information. COMMUNITY PICNIC AND EASTER EGG HUNT for families of For t Gordon soldiers and local military personnel who have been called to duty in the Middle East. Held April 19, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., at Augusta Common. For more information, contact the mayor’s office, 821-1831. FAMILY Y SCHOOL’S OUT PRIME TIME PROGRAM April 18 for children 5-12 years old. Exciting activities will be planned for the day, when Richmond County schools are not in session. Fees are $14 per child registering in advance or $20 per child registering the day of the program. For details, call 738-7006. EASTER EGGSTRAVAGANZA FAMILY NIGHT at Camp Lakeside April 17, 5-7:30 p.m. Hayrides, egg hunt, dinner, marshmallow roast and more will be featured. $5 per person. Call 733-1030 for details. “TECHNOLOGY AND TENNIS FOR LIFE” camp is now accepting registration for summer sessions June 9-27 and July 7-25. Program activities include computer literacy, leadership skills development, tennis instruction and more. To register, call 796-5046. STORYTIME IN THE GARDENS every Tuesday, 4 p.m., through May. Senior citizens will read favorite children’s stories to kids 8 and under at Hopeland Gardens in Aiken. Bring a blanket or chair and snacks. Free. Rain location is the H.O. Weeks Center. (803) 642-7631. HOMEWORK STUDY SKILLS FOR STUDENTS Saturdays from 9 a.m.-noon at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. Computers are available. Call 738-0089 for info. AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM at the Smith-Hazel Recreation Center in Aiken through May, 2-6 p.m. Open to kids ages 513. Call (803) 642-7635. CHILDREN’S LEARNING CENTER at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum of Black History open Monday-Friday, 4:30-6:30 p.m., through June. For information, call 724-3576. ACADEMIC HELP AND TUTORING available Saturdays, 2:304:30 p.m. at the Wallace Branch Library. Call 722-6275 to make arrangements. GIRLS INCORPORATED AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM runs

WEEKLY STORY SESSIONS at all branch libraries. Visit www.ecgrl.public.lib.ga.us for more information. FIRST SATURDAY STORYTELLING at the Lucy Craf t Laney Museum. In addition, there is a tour of the museum. Held 10 a.m. to noon the first Saturday of the month. Call 724-3576.

Seniors “THEN AND NOW” SHOW AND TELL: Seniors write an autobiography and collect photographs of themselves from past time periods. Show and tell session takes place 10-11 a.m. April 28-29 at the Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. 826-4480. “LEGAL ISSUES FOR FAMILY CAREGIVERS” WORKSHOP designed to help spouses, adult children and community professionals understand legal procedures related to the care of older adults. Free public workshop to be held April 22, 5:30-7:30 p.m., at St. Joseph Home Health Care in Daniel Village. Walk-in registration accepted. 210-2018. BLOOD PRESSURE SCREENINGS April 21, 10-11:30 a.m. at the Senior Citizens Council of Greater Augusta and the CSRA. For info, call 826-4480. COMPUTER CLASSES FOR SENIOR CITIZENS Tuesdays and Thursdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m. at Shiloh Comprehensive Community Center. For more information, call 738-0089. AIKEN PARKS AND RECREATION offers a multitude of programs for senior adults, including bridge clubs, fitness classes, canasta clubs, line dancing, racquetball, ar ts and craf ts, tai chi, tennis and excursions. For more information, call (803) 642-7631. JUD C. HICKEY CENTER FOR ALZHEIMER’S CARE provides families and caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia a break during the day. Activities and care available at the adult day center, and homecare is available as well. For information, call 738-5039. THE ACADEMY FOR LIFELONG LEARNING offers lectures, courses, field trips, discussion groups and community information seminars on a variety of topics to mature adults. For more information, contact the USC-Aiken Office of Continuing Education at (803) 641-3288. PEOPLE WITH ARTHRITIS CAN EXERCISE (PACE) meets at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1-2 p.m. Call 823-5294.

ARTHRITIS AQUATICS offered Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at Walton Rehabilitation Hospital. Classes meet 99:45 a.m., 10-10:45 a.m. or 12:15-1 p.m. $37.50/month. To register, call 733-5959. SENIORNET provides adults age 50 and over education for and access to computer technology. Many different courses are offered. Contact the USC-Aiken Continuing Education Office at (803) 641-3563.

Sports AUGUSTA ROWING CLUB LEARN-TO-ROW CLASS April 24May 24. Cost is $80 for 10 classes. Par ticpants must be able to swim. Held at The Boathouse on the Savannah River. To register, contact Tim Jannik at (803) 278-0003. GEORGIA STATE DRUG-FREE POWERLIFTING CHAMPIONSHIPS presented by the Python Power League of Augusta April 19, 10 a.m., at the Mar tial Ar ts Tournament Center, 2608 Peach Orchard Rd. General admission is $3. Entry fee for athletes is $40. For info, contact The Skinny Man at 790-3806 or pythongym@aol.com.

toll free at 1-888-922-4464. AUGUSTA-RICHMOND COUNTY ANIMAL CONTROL: New volunteer orientation is scheduled the first Saturday of each month at 1 p.m. at the shelter, 4164 Mack Lane. Schedule subject to change; call 790-6836 to verify dates and times. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY is looking for animal lovers willing to donate a lit tle of their time. Volunteers are needed every Saturday at the Pet Center located behind GreenJackets Stadium on Milledge Road. Call 261-PETS for more info.

AUGUSTA GEM AND MINERAL SOCIETY meets the third Friday of every month at the Georgia Military College Building at 7:30 p.m. Call Jean Parker, 650-2956, or Connie Barrow, 547-0178, for information. CANOE AND KAYAK CLUB OF AUGUSTA monthly meeting April 22, 7 p.m., at the Warren Road Community Center. The club also holds its annual Riverside Paddle and New Member Reception Cookout April 26; registration is required for the event. For info, call 860-5432 or e-mail paddling@juno.com.

SUPERMAN JAM X-GAMES April 19, 4 and 8 p.m., at the Augusta-Richmond County Civic Center. Tickets are $5.50$15. For more information and tickets, call 828-7700 or visit www.ticketmaster.com.

ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY CELEBRATION BREAKFAST April 23, 7:30 a.m., is hosted by the International Association of Administrative Professionals Fairways Chapter. Held at The Pinnacle Club. Cost is $17. For info, contact Magalie, 481-7402.

INTRODUCTORY AND DROP-IN CLIMBING Fridays, 5:306:30 p.m., at the Virginia Acres Park Climbing Wall in Aiken. Cost is $5 per session. Call (803) 642-7631 for information. THE AUGUSTA RUGBY CLUB is always looking for new members. Teams available for women and men; no experience necessary. Practice is Tuesday and Thursday nights, 79 p.m. at Richmond Academy. For more information, call Don Zuehlke, 495-2043, or e-mail augustar fc@yahoo.com. You may also visit www.augustarugby.org.

Volunteer KIDS RESTART, a local non-profit agency dedicated to helping children in the foster care system, is holding training for volunteers who wish to become advocates for abused and/or neglected children and volunteers who wish to assist at the visitation center and in the enrichment program. Training is April 21-25 and May 3, 5-6, 8 and 10. Training dates vary according to which aspect of volunteering trainees are interested in, so call 828-0180 for specifics and to register. PHINIZY SWAMP NATURE PARK EARTH DAY CELEBRATION is in need of volunteers to man information booths, sell nature park merchandise and assist with the 5K Swamp Stomp April 19. For more information, call 828-2109. FORT DISCOVERY STUDENT VOLUNTEER PROGRAM is looking for volunteers, ages 15 and up, to commit 30 hours over the summer. For more information on this oppor tunity, contact Millie Schumacher, 821-0609. THE KITTY ORTIZ DE LEON FOUNDATION needs volunteers to help promote organ donor awareness. For more information, please contact Cassandra Reed at 481-0105 or kodfoundation@aol.com. GOLDEN HARVEST FOOD BANK needs volunteers during the day, Monday-Friday, to help sor t donated products and assist in their agency shopping area. Help is needed year-round. If you are able to lift 25 pounds and would like to help fight hunger in the Augusta area, contact Laurie Roper at 7361199, ex t. 208. THOROUGHBRED RACING HALL OF FAME DOCENTS NEEDED: Duties include opening and closing the Hall of Fame, greeting visitors and providing information about museum exhibits. Call Lisa Hall, (803) 642-7650 for information. OLDER AMERICANS ACT SENIOR NUTRITION PROGRAM is looking for volunteers to serve meals to needy older residents. To volunteer, contact the Senior Citizens Council at 826-4480. For those in need of home-delivered meals, call 210-2018 or

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Meetings

LIONS MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT April 19 in Jackson, S.C. Open to the public. For more information, call (803) 652-2608.

AUGUSTA FLASH 14 AND UNDER FASTPITCH TRAVEL SOFTBALL TEAM is holding tryouts. For information, contact head coach Jeff Towe at 868-8485, 771-5618 or augustaflash@hotmail.com.

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SHEPEARD COMMUNITY BLOOD CENTER is seeking donors to prevent a blood supply shor tage. To donate call 737-4551, 854-1880 or (803) 643-7996.

AUGUSTA AREA CHAPTER OF THE SOCIETY OF HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT meets for a seminar and luncheon April 30, 11:45-1:30 p.m., at the Radisson Suites on Washington Road. Cost for non-members is $15; RSVP to Karen Whitman at 220-2915 by April 25.

AUGUSTA GREENJACKETS HOME GAMES April 21-28. Tickets are $6-$8 for adults; $5 for senior citizens, military personnel and children 4-12; and $1 for children 3 and under. For tickets, visit www.tixonline.com or call 736-7889.

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THE YOUNG DEMOCRATS OF AUGUSTA host “11th and Broad,” an open political forum for the discussion of current issues. Doug Haines, Democratic candidate for Congress, will speak. Held April 22, 7:30 p.m., at The Metro Coffeehouse. Call 364-2382 for more information. THE CSRA HUMANE SOCIETY holds its monthly meeting on April 22, 7 p.m., at the Pet Center, 425 Wood St. Dr. T. Lamar Walker will give a program on preparing for disasters and emergencies for pets. The meeting is open to the public. For more information, call 261-PETS.

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THE SENIOR CITIZENS COUNCIL OF GREATER AUGUSTA AND THE CSRA offers a variety of classes, including aerobics, quilting, tai chi, Spanish, painting, line dancing, bowling, bridge, computers, yoga and pinochle. For dates and times, phone 826-4480.

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GIBBS LIBRARY BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP meets April 21, 7 p.m., to discuss “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold. 863-1946.

Weekly

CHRIST-BASED RECOVERY MEETING every Tuesday, 6:30 p.m., at the Love & Light Healing Center. Please use the back entrance. For information, contact Kenny Stacy, 373-5585. FREE ‘N’ ONE SUPPORT GROUP for those bat tling addiction to drugs and alcohol. Approach is a spiritual one. Held ever y Thursday night. For information, contact Sarah Barnes, 772-7325. TOUGH LOVE SUPPORT GROUP Monday nights, 6:30-7:30 p.m. at the South Augusta Resource Center. Learn how to understand addiction and how to exercise tough love with those you care about. Call Sarah Barnes, 772-7325, for info. GEORGIA-CAROLINA TOASTMASTERS meets Wednesdays at noon at the Clubhouse, 2567 Washington Rd. $8 for lunch; visitors welcome. 860-9854. SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS, a 12-step program of recovery from addiction to obsessive/compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors, meets Wednesdays at 8 p.m. and Saturdays at 7 p.m. at Augusta Counselling Services. Call 339-1204 and leave first name and phone number; a confidential reply is assured. AUGUSTA TOASTMASTERS CLUB #326 meets Thursdays at 7:30 p.m. at Advent Lutheran Church. Call 868-8431. BUSINESS NETWORK INTERNATIONAL Augusta Chapter meets every Thursday morning from 7 to 8:30 a.m. at the Cour tyards by Mariott. The group is a business networking group designed to give and receive referrals. All professionals welcome. For more information or to join, call Barbara Crenshaw, 868-3772. RIVERWALK TOASTMASTERS meets Mondays, 7 p.m. in Classroom 3 at University Hospital. Call Gale Kan, 855-7071. GUIDELINES: Public Service announcements are listed in this section without charge at the discretion of the editor. Announcements must be received by Monday at noon and will be included as space permits. Send to Events, The Metropolitan Spirit, P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914 or fax (706) 733-6663. You may also e-mail listings to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com. Listings cannot be taken over the phone.

Wine Dinner Wednesday, April 23 Sample wines with a 3 course meal $35 per person Reservations Required 437 Highland Ave Augusta, GA 706.737.6699 Fax 706.733.8644 Mon-Sat Lunch & Dinner

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30 M E T R O S P I R I T

Arts: Dance

Augusta Ballet Gives Your Babysitter the Night Off

By Rhonda Jones

A P R 1 7 2 0 0 3

ugusta Ballet’s “‘Peter and the Wolf’ With Rep” offers you and your children a little something special – a night for you to just go out without the normal worries of parenthood (i.e., what to do with the kids), and an introduction to ballet for your kids that won’t force them to sit still for two hours of grownup entertainment. Those of you who may be wondering, as we were, what the heck “rep” is, your curiosity is about to be sated. It simply means that “Peter and the Wolf” isn’t all that’s going on that night. There will be other productions as well, with the evening culminating in the little fable we all remember from childhood. Personally, my most-remembered experience with “Peter and the Wolf” involved sitting in Mrs. Weis’ thirdgrade class at John Milledge elementary a very long time ago, listening to classical music (probably) set against a narrator’s voice. I think there were oboes. As a result, whenever I hear an oboe, I get very nervous about prowling canines, and any embellishments I may have engaged in. There is a point to all that. You probably have your very own “Peter and the Wolf” issues, and so this is the perfect opportunity for you to go and sort them out. It’s also a good opportunity for those of you with kids to have your cake and eat it too. Here’s how the evening works. Take your kids to the lobby at the Lamar Building, where they will be met by a Ballet representative and escorted to the fifth floor. They should meet their escort between 6:30 and 7 p.m. While you are enjoying the “rep” part of the evening, the kids, age 4-10, will be enjoying a Ballet Birthday Party. You don’t even need to feed your kids that night, or pay for their ticket. They will be gnoshing on pizza and juice, and making crafts with Augusta’s very own Art Factory. The first work to be performed that night is a little piece titled “Symphony 13,” billed as a “neo-classical work in the Balanchine tradition.” Uh-huh. It was created for Augusta Ballet in 1968 and was a sort of “coming out” piece for the much-younger company, which received good reviews in “Dance News” and “Dance Magazine,” after Augusta Ballet’s first performance on the Gala of Southeastern Regional Ballet Association Festival. Several other American dance companies have since adopted “Symphony 13” as part of their repertoire. “The Beloved” is a pas de deux about a man being tortured by memories of

haven’t been able to make it out to many performances, this will be your last chance until the fall. So this is a good time to partake in some good, oldfashioned artsy fun before the onslaught of summer shenanigans takes over your life. Oh, and you can take your young ones up to meet the dancers after the show. Most of them don’t bite.

Photo: Bruce Boulineau

his lost love. It is an Andrew Kuharsky piece, inspired by Samuel Barber’s “Adagio for Strings.” “Gift To Be Simple” is by Norbert Vesak, who took elements of 18th and 19th century Shaker culture. These people lived simply, chastely and religiously. It should be interesting to see how that translates into ballet, which I for one associate with rampant, earthly passion. But hey, that’s just me. “Falling” is a solo dance to be performed by Elizabeth Harrison to music by Alicia Keys, and was choreographed by Sarah Shoemaker herself. She’s excited to have her work included. “I’m thrilled to have a ballet on this program,” she said. “It is a real honor.” “Rep shows are really fun,” said Sarah Shoemaker, PR chick for the Ballet. “Rep shows are always the most fun for the dancers because they get to perform so many different types of dance.” And, she said, there isn’t just one leading lady or one leading man, so the opportunities to star are shared a bit more evenly. “It’s nice to spread the wealth around a little bit.” Veterans of the limelight Tom Shoemaker and Ericka Shannon will dance “The Beloved” and “The Corsair Pas de Deux.” Emily Connelly and Rob Royce will star in “Symphony 13.” And then the main course of the

evening, and the return of the kiddies. “Peter and the Wolf” was, according to Augusta Ballet official press, written by Sergei Prokofiev to teach the youngsters about orchestral instruments. It should be interesting to see what Augusta Ballet will do with it, as it will be a marriage of the talents of artist Russell Bonin, who has designed the sets; Atlanta costume designer Judy Winograd; and Augusta Ballet’s resident choreographer, Peter Powlus, whose work has helped Augusta Ballet bring many stories to life. Not to mention the dancers themselves. In “Peter and the Wolf,” Shoemaker will dance the part of Peter; Jaime Burcham will dance the Wolf; the Duck will be danced by Sara Benton; the Bird will be danced by Shannon; the Cat will be danced by Jessica King; the Hunters will be danced by Royce and JJ Stapleton. And Peter Powlus will portray Peter’s grandfather. “Peter and the Wolf” is the longest, according to Sarah Shoemaker. It will be 25 minutes long. One final word about “‘Peter and the Wolf’ With Rep” – it’s the final performance of the season. So if you haven’t yet been to the ballet, and you’ve been meaning to give it a whirl, this is a good time. Sample platter and all. And if you are a ballet fan, but

Revisiting the Season This is also a good time for a little Augusta Ballet retrospective – to remind you, perhaps, what you’ve enjoyed this past year. Or what you’ve missed. “Carmen” opened Oct. 11, 2002. Ballet Master Tom Shoemaker danced the part of Don Jose, and Ericka Shannon danced the title role of the Gypsy temptress who turned a good, solid man into a confused mass of volatile passions. It was a colorful romp with fun costumes. Powlus portrayed a very human and vulnerable priest and narrator. “The Nutcracker” opened Dec. 6, 2002. Shoemaker portrayed the father and Shannon danced the Sugar Plum Fairy. They had a slew of child dancers to portray the kids of the party-goers. This is one, by the way, that every ballet dancer practically has etched into their DNA from the time they are old enough to be one of those kids. It is a Christmas favorite and well worth seeing next time it comes around. “Ailey II” opened Jan. 20, 2002. They took a slightly different approach with this one by having the young dancers being groomed to become part of the Alvin Ailey dance company, as guests. “Romeo and Juliet” was the company’s Valentine’s Day performance and played both in Aiken at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts and at the Imperial Theatre. Shoemaker danced the part of Romeo Montague, but Shannon was not young Miss Capulet. That part was danced by Julia Morgan, who had not hit the stage for several years, having devoted herself to the role of mom. I certainly couldn’t tell she’d had such an extensive break. “‘Peter and the Wolf’ With Rep” will run at the Imperial Theatre on April 25 and 26 at 7 p.m. There will be no matinee. Tickets range from $12 to $36 and can be purchased by calling the Augusta Ballet Box Office at (706) 261-0555 or by visiting the Ballet office in the Sacred Heart Cultural Center on the Corner of Greene Street and 13th Street, Suite 204. Don’t forget: Children ages 4-10 get in free those nights.

Arts: Music

Cellist Daniel Lee Will Take You on a Magical Cello Adventure

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By Rhonda Jones

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he cello is not mere ensemble furniture and you shouldn’t grow accustomed to thinking of it in that way. All too often, the first violinist of a chamber group is looked upon as the star of the show, with the second violinist, pianist, violist and yes, even the cellist, considered mere backup musicians. If this is your take on the classical ensemble experience, you must right yourself immediately, I tell you. And Augusta Symphony has a little plan to help you get over such an affliction. They are bringing in Daniel Lee, a young cellist who is going to do his best to make you see the cello as an instrument worth loving. Perhaps one of the most noted cellists is Arturo Toscanini. He was a Parma, Italyborn orchestra director, born in 1867 and living about 90 years beyond that. Both his father and an orchestra director under which he played were named Claudio, a fact that has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but which may win you a free beer sometime at a game of trivia. Lee studied for free at a violoncello school at the conservatory of Parma. Violoncello is, by the way, the proper name for the cello. So, see? There is more to the instrument than nice curves. If you go to www.cello.org, you can actually find an alphabetical database of historical cellists, many of them Italian. Some French, some German, others Russian. One of the cellists listed in this particular database is the British cellist William Pleeth, under whom Lee studied. Pleeth was one of those youthful prodigies who began showing his stripes as early as the age of 7, and became a student at the London Cello School at age 10. According to his biography at www.cello.org, Pleeth organized the Allegri String Quartet in 1952 with two violinists and a violist. According to a quote on the site, he prefered playing in an ensemble to performing solo. “In many ways, a solo career is, for me, unsatisfying. I don’t care for the solitary traveling, and like even less the isolation of being confronted with a large orchestra and an ‘eminent’ conductor.” Pleeth taught Jacqueline du Pre and, of course, Daniel Lee, a quick study in his own right. At the age of 22, Lee has already been recognized for his abilities with the cello, most notably with the Avery Fisher Award, which he won in 2001. According to the Augusta Symphony, Lee was taken on as student and protégé by Mstislav Rostropovich at the age of 11. Rostropovich said that Lee played Tchaikovsky’s “Rococo Variations” much better than he, Rostropovich, had at age 15. At the age of 14, the young cellist was signed by Decca Records. For his Augusta concert, Lee is planning to play a selection of three pieces, begin-

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ning with “Short Ride in a Fast Machine,” a relatively contemporary piece by John Adams. (No, not the president.) Next, he will perform “Cello Concerto in B minor, B. 191, Op. 104” by Dvorak. After intermission, he will return and play “Scheherazade” by Rimsky-Korsakov. John Adams, born in 1947, is perhaps the most accessible of all the composers represented in Lee’s concert, if only because he has composed a piece about an experience almost everyone has been through. “You know how it is when someone asks you to ride in a terrific sports car, and then you wish you hadn’t?” is Adams’ description of “Short Ride in a Fast Car,” according to press materials supplied by Augusta Symphony. It was presented to the world on June 13, 1986, having been written as a fanfare piece for the opening concert of the Great Woods Festival, held in Mansfield, Mass. It utilizes two synthesizers, a large percussion battery and a wood block for some “almost sadistic” (Adams’ wording), steady clacking. It is a frequently performed piece and is popular among those who program things for children for the purpose of introducing contemporary music. So hop on board for the “Short Ride...” and much more, if you dare. Lee will perform Saturday, April 26 at 8 p.m. at the Grover C. Maxwell Performing Arts Theatre on the campus of Augusta State University. There will be a free preview lecture an hour before the concert, given by ASU assistant professor Christine Crookall. Tickets run $35, $28 and $15 general admission. Students get in for $7.50 to $14. For info or to order tickets, contact the Augusta Symphony Box Office: (706) 8264705 (phone) or (706) 826-4735 (fax).

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Arts: Theatre Having problems in your relationship? You are not alone.

Meet The Olde Lincoln Towne Players

By Rhonda Jones

See the Advice Goddess on page 47

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here is a theatre company out there that you may not know about. Recently, The Metropolitan Spirit received notice from The Olde Lincoln Towne Players that they were about to produce “Driving Miss Daisy.” Well, we didn’t know about The Olde Lincoln Towne Players, and so sent a letter right back to director and board member Mr. Bill Bufford to make sure I had my head screwed on straight. “No, you’ve never gotten anything from us before,” he assured me. “We have attracted a noticeable amount of attention from Augusta area audiences, and decided to try to publicize this show just to see what would happen.” And, yes, as the name suggests, the company lives in pastoral ol’ Lincolnton, over the green bridge and not quite through the woods. They also attracted quite a bit of attention at home, Bufford said. “Not only students, but many adults have remarked that before we started our group, they had never been to a live performance before. Now they sometimes sell out.” The theatre company was born, Bufford said, five to six years ago. One problem that faces newborn acting troupes is finding a home, but The Olde Lincoln Towne Players formed an immediate partnership with Lincoln County High School, Bufford said. “We held our performances at the Lincoln County High School auditorium,” he said. “We involved a lot of students from the beginning in our productions, and really created an interest here in Lincolnton.” Bufford said that Lincoln County High School’s drama program experienced a “surge of participation” by those belonging to the school and by the community itself. But success is usually a double-edged sword. “The high school now does several productions per year,” Bufford said. “IN that we only have one auditorium/theater in Lincolnton, we have really done ourselves out of a place to hold many productions on our own. They still maintain a relationship with the high school drama department, however, which is probably made easier because one of their founding members is Randy Smith, Lincoln County High School drama teacher. Another partnership that works to The Olde Lincoln Towne Players’ advantage is that

with the 32-year-old Washington Little Theater Company. Bufford is a board member of both that company and The Olde Lincoln Towne Players. “We take productions that have a minimal set, or even a representational set, rehearse and perform them in the Washington Playhouse, then move to Lincolnton for a few days. It has worked out well,” Bufford said. The Production Now, you may remember “Driving Miss Daisy” as the film starring Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman (before he ever donned bushy eyebrows to play a crazy man). Or you may not remember it at all. So let me refresh you a bit. “Driving Miss Daisy” takes place between 1948 and 1973. Hoke Coburn goes to work for the wealthy Miss Daisy Werthan, who has grown too old to drive herself. She proves to be intractable on the outside, but with a soft, gooey center. Here is a bit about the Lincolnton cast. Bruce Beggs will play Boolie Werthan, Miss Daisy’s son, who is the one who finds and hires Hoke on behalf of his mother. Beggs is the superior court clerk for Lincoln County and a founding member and president of The Olde Lincoln Towne Players. Like Bufford, he is also involved with the Washington Little Theatre Company. Miss Daisy will be portrayed by Bolton Lunceford, a teacher who has worked with the Washington Little Theater Company almost from the time it was born, performing roles both onstage and backstage. She has been a president of the Georgia Theatre Conference, and has won its highest award, the Distinguished Service to Theater in Georgia. And then there’s Hoke Coburn, who will be portrayed by Bailey Walker, principal of the Washington-Wilkes Elementary School. He got his acting start with the Washington Little Theatre Company, and is currently on their board. The Olde Lincoln Towne Players will perform “Driving Miss Daisy” at the Lincoln County High School auditorium on Ward Avenue at 8 p.m. On April 19 and 3 p.m. April 20, which is Sunday. Admission is $8. For information call Bill Bufford at (706) 359-1161 or e-mail him at Bufford@nu-z.net.

Cinema

“Holes”

M E T R O S P I R I T A P R

Movie Listings

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hated drill sergeant, West (Samuel L. Jackson), was killed on an insane jungle training exercise during a hurricane. There are more dead and wounded, and survivors reek of guilt. The plot pretzels like a Mobius strip on moonshine, repeating scenes from dif ferent "angles," each one a Cubist jag of revelation. If this humid hullabaloo made sense, it still wouldn't mat ter. The finish is like the giddy reunion of a buddy club, as if the sequel might be a frat-boy comedy. Cast: John Travolta, Connie Nielsen, Samuel L. Jackson, Giovanni Ribisi, Taye Diggs, Roselyn Sanchez, Harry Connick Jr., Brian Van Holt. Running time: 1 hr., 38 mins. (Elliot t) ★1/2 Biker Boyz (PG-13) — Described as a “contemporary Western on wheels,” “Biker Boyz” delves into the underground world of motorcycle racing. Undefeated champ Smoke dominates California’s racing scene, but his position is threatened by a young racer named Kid. Kid’s out to win Smoke’s helmet — and his fame. Cast: Laurence Fishburne, Derek Luke, Orlando Jones, Djimon Hounsole, Lisa Bonet, Kid Rock. Bringing Down the House (PG-13) — Queen Latifah smoothly pockets "Bringing Down the House" as Charlene, a good-hear ted fugitive from the law, turning to a starchy, divorced ta x at torney for refuge and suppor t. Steve Mar tin is the lawyer, Peter. The core idea of this very simple comedy is pure buzz of contrast: Latifah is abundantly, explosively black, while Mar tin may be the whitest man ever to star in movies. Latifah rides out the nonsense in her queenly, Pearl Bailey style. It's a cookie-cut comedy. The movie delivers its very manufactured goods, but it lacks the guts to be a meaningful comedy. Cast: Steve Mar tin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Joan Plowright, Jean Smar t, Bet ty White. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Bulletproof Monk (PG-13) — Chow Yun-Fat is an immor tal Tibetan kung fu master, entrusted with the protection of an ancient scroll. According to legend, the scroll holds the key to unlimited power. But YunFat needs to find a protégé, someone he can mentor to become the scroll’s nex t guardian. He finds an unlikely candidate in Seann William Scot t, this time playing a street kid with an at titude (instead of the goofballs

Columbia Pictures

“Anger Management”

RATINGS

★★★★ — Excellent.

Buena Vista Pictures

About Schmidt (R) — Sad, very sad. Not only because Jack Nicholson is playing a sour, dumpy bore, but because the movie is a bore. As Schmidt, he's the lit tle American loser who set tled for mediocre, false comfor t through conformity, but Alexander Payne directs as if this dull fact is a fresh revelation. The film is iner t, rarely funny and rarely dramatic, though Kathy Bates swings her jived bulk into a hot tub and briefly sparks Jack into an inkling of his stellar self; then he shrinks. Sad. 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★ Agent Cody Banks (PG) — is about teens recruited by the CIA — Osama, are you watching? Compact hero Cody, 15, gets to derail the scary plan for global domination of another crazy villain (Ian McShane). It blithely exploits such talents as Cynthia Stevenson, Mar tin Donovan and Keith David (tops as the CIA chief). This hyper baby-Bond has gizmos, chases, modestly lavish sets, cheap explosions, a sleek va-voom played by Angie Harmon and a girlish wow played by Hilary Duf f, who's like a Culkin version of Bardot. Running time: 1 hr., 50 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Anger Management (PG-13) — Af ter "assaulting" a stewardess on a flight, doofy Dave (Adam Sandler) is ordered by a cour t into anger therapy. That means bonding with Buddy (Jack Nicholson), anger management guru, and time with Buddy's pet circle of hair-trigger loons, including Luis Guzman as a gay par ty beast and John Tur turro as a rage-aholic called Chuck. Buddy and Dave get in each other's hair, play mean pranks on each other, trade frat-level penis jokes, run up to Boston, and return to New York, where both seem to have something going with Dave's girlfriend (Marisa Tomei). "Anger Management" is not bad enough to make you angry, because inevitably the cast cooks some silly fun. Cast: Jack Nicholson, Adam Sandler, John Tur turro, Marisa Tomei, Luis Guzman, Woody Harrelson. Running time: 1 hr., 35 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Basic (R) — John Travolta swaggers through this macho military thriller as Tom Hardy, an ex-Army wise guy hanging around Panama City. He is called in for some cover t investigating by the squishy base commander at the Canal Zone in Panama. A cruel and

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we’re used to seeing him as). Cast: Chow Yun-Fat, Seann William Scot t, Jaime King. Chicago (PG-13) —- It's been 23 years since Richard Gere stripped on Broadway for "Bent." Now he gets to pull of f his clothes as slick shyster Billy Flynn. Mostly in wonder ful suits, his hair shining like creased silver, Gere is having the best time of his movie life, singing and tapdancing and lording over women with rakish snaz. He's a lioness-tamer; the main cats are Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones), a cabaret sex bazooka and killer on Death Row and newcomer Roxie Har t (Renee Zellweger), a Bet ty Boop who killed her lover. For cash and headlines, Flynn will help guilty women beat the law. "Chicago" is zip for depth, but it has all the sexy sur face it needs to be ex travagantly alive. It tops of f at the Chicago Theater, and the old show palace looks delighted. Cast: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Queen Latifah, Christine Baranski, Taye Diggs. Running time: 1 hr., 53 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★★ The Core (PG-13) — It's a story of Ear th imperiled and mankind going down the tubes. So a real tube has to be laser-tunneled using a new kind of worm craf t, right to the center of the world. Some secret military mischief stopped our planetary core from spinning and unhinged the electromagnetic shield. A group of geniuses, oddballs and two NASA pilots must go down there in a $50 billion crash program to hot-wire the core. "The Core" is so crazily improbable that it becomes madly believable. So much is at stake! Not so much sci-fi as sci-fi-jeez, it relies on the good old rhy thm of friction and bonding, and on desperate improvisation. Cast: Aaron Eckhar t, Stanley Tucci, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Tcheky Karyo, Bruce Greenwood, Alfre Woodard, D.J. Qualls. Running time: 2 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★★ Darkness Falls (PG-13) — A young man in a small town, isolated because the locals think he’s crazy, is the only one who can help a young boy, the brother of his childhood girlfriend. The boy is threatened by a centuries-old evil, a force that served as the inspiration for the seemingly innocuous tale of the tooth fairy. Cast: Chaney Kley, Emma Caulfield, Joshua Anderson, Andrew Bayly, Emily Browning. Deliver Us From Eva (R) — Eva, described as the “sister-in-law from hell” by the men in her life, is one big nagging pain in the — well, you get the idea. The guys, desperate to stop her nagging and shut her up for good, hope that the right man will do the trick. They pay a smooth studmuf fin, played by LL Cool J, to seduce Eva. The results of the experiment come as a surprise to everyone. Cast: Gabrielle Union, LL Cool J, Essence Atkins, Dar tanyan Edmonds, Meagan Good. Dreamcatcher (R) — Henry (Thomas Jane), Beaver (Jason Lee), Jonesy (Damian Lewis) and Pete (Timothy Olyphant) were boyhood pals in a small town in Maine. Every year, they convene in a backwoods cabin to hunt, drink beer and talk about Duddits

★★★— Worthy.

★★ — Mixed.

★ — Poor.

(Donnie Wahlberg), their mentally challenged, supernaturally connected friend for whom they once performed an act of great kindness and bravery, and who in return rewarded them with a shared six th sense. A man staggers up to the cabin, half-frozen and infected with something from out of this world. He's incubating a spectacularly awful creature. The stolid subplot – about a military unit that deals with aliens and is run by a quasi-fascist lunatic (Morgan Freeman) – slows things down, giving viewers time to think, rarely a good idea in this genre. "Dreamcatcher's" biggest shock is that it flat runs out of ideas. In the end, it's just another monster flick. Cast: Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant. Running time: 2 hrs., 25 mins. (Salm) ★★ Drumline (PG-13) — A young street drummer from Harlem wins a scholarship to at tend a Southern university and decides to make the trek af ter being convinced by the university’s band director, even though he knows he’ll have a hard time fit ting in. Gradually, his drumming skills help the other students warm up to him. Cast: Nick Cannon, Orlando Jones, Zoe Saldana, Jason Weaver. Final Destination 2 (R) — As in the first movie, a group of teen-agers manages to cheat death. But death, unsatisfied with the teens’ getaway, pursues in a myriad of disturbing ways. Kimberly, driving a group of friends to Florida, has a premonition that helps them avoid being caught in a fatal freeway pileup. Death has other plans. Cast: Ali Lar ter, A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, T.C. Carson, Jonathan Cherry, James Kirk, Tony Todd. Gods and Generals (PG-13) — Rober t Duvall brings his rather gaunt but vinegar presence to the role of Gen. Lee. In this 216-minute epic, Lee is sidelined by Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, played by Stephen Lang not as a stone wall but a statue-inprogress. The Nor therners exist mostly to die, like dutiful blue ants. It's like an old history cyclorama "brought to life" with a mix ture of wa x, starch and pulped hymnals. The main audience will clearly be military buf fs, armchair warriors and re-enactors. For them, here is a devotional of death, inferior to "Get tysburg" and, of course, a vir tual car toon of the war in its true and awful glory. Cast: Rober t Duvall, Stephen Lang, Jef f Daniels, Kevin Conway, Mira Sorvino, Bruce Boxleitner. Running time: 3 hrs., 36 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Head of State (PG-13) — “Head of State” marks the directorial debut of comic Chris Rock, who also co-wrote the screenplay. He stars as an unlikely presidential candidate, a down-on-his-luck government employee about to lose his job. Thrust into presidential candidacy by his par ty when the par ty’s original presidential nominee unexpectedly dies, Rock appeals to the country’s par ty vein to try and win the election. Bernie Mac stars as his brother and running mate. Cast: Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Dylan Baker, Tamala Jones, Robin Givens.

0— Not worthy.

continued from page 33 Holes (PG) — “Holes” tells the story of Stanley

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Yelnats, a young man plagued with bad luck from a family curse that’s been passed down from generation to generation of Yelnats. Sent to Camp Green Lake, Stanley hooks up with a group of friends to solve the camp’s underlying mystery: Why do the camp directors keep forcing them to dig holes? And what is it that they’re looking for? Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Sigourney Weaver, Patricia Arquet te, Rick Fox, Khleo Thomas. House of 1000 Corpses (R) — Rocker Rob Zombie takes the classic horror route in his film directorial debut. Car trouble forces a group of traveling teens to stop at a gas station/Museum of Monsters and Madmen in the middle of nowhere. But why is a man called Dr. Satan the local hero? Who is stupid enough to ride the museum’s “Murder Ride”? And just what’s in the secret-recipe fried chicken anyway? Cast: Bill Moseley, Karen Black, Chris Hardwick. The Jungle Book 2 (G) — Mowgli and friends return in this animated sequel to the Disney classic. Mowgli has adjusted to life in the village with all the other humans, but he still misses his animal friends, especially Baloo. When Mowgli sneaks away to the jungle to visit his old pals, it’s a race to see who can find him first: the friends he’s looking to visit or maneating tiger Shere Khan. Cast: John Goodman, Haley Joel Osment, Tony Jay. Kangaroo Jack (PG) — Two childhood friends, Charlie (Jerry O'Connell) and Louis (Anthony Anderson), from Brooklyn are forced to deliver a mysterious envelope to Australia af ter one of them accidentally causes the police to raid a mob warehouse. En route to the land down under, Louis peeks in the package and discovers that it contains $50,000. Af ter the guys arrive in the Outback, they accidentally run over a kangaroo. Louis decides to take pictures of the animal and even puts shades and his lucky jacket on the 'roo, which is only stunned and hops away with the jacket containing the money. Now the guys are forced to chase the animal through the Outback, or they'll have to repay the mob with their lives. The real star of "Kangaroo Jack" is the beautiful Outback. That alone may be wor th the price of admission. Or not. Cast: Jerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson, Estella Warren, Christopher Walken, Dyan Cannon, Mar ton Csokas. Running time: 1 hr., 30 mins. (McCormick) ★

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG13) — Long, violent, death-fixated, dark in tone,

heavy in heroic mood, this is a film for addicts of the series. Lit tle Frodo is marginalized as Viggo Mor tensen leads the defense of a castle from hordes of vicious scumballs, and the two grand beards (Ian McKellan, Christopher Lee) contend for Middle Ear th. There's a lit tle schizo in a wispy loincloth, expressively per formed and voiced, but the almost Stone Age my thology rolls over us like layers of geology. 3 hrs. (Elliot t) ★★ Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) — Brad “Brad” Gluckman ain’t no Eminem. He’s Malibu’s worst rapper, a rich white boy who thinks he has the nuances of the hip-hop lifestyle down pat. Nothing could be fur ther from the truth, and when B-rad’s embarrassing antics creep into his father’s campaign for governor of California, the family decides that some tough love might be in order. Cast: Jamie Kennedy, Blair Underwood, Ryan O’Neal, Taye Diggs. A Man Apart (R) — Vin Diesel is emotionally strung-out af ter an arrogant car tel bust in Mexico leads to the murder of his wife. He sulks, he stews, he is a man of constant sorrows. He is beaten, shot, almost drowns, nearly has his eyes poked out. But mostly he avenges. Backed up by DEA buddies who are all men apar t, being former gang "homies," he enters into foul nests of narco-scum and turns a money transfer into a rampage of bloody bodies and

“Piglet’s Big Movie”

Walt Disney Pictures

M E T R O

burning cars. Behind all the meanness is El Diablo, new king of the Mex-to-Cal drug trade, or maybe it's his imprisoned predecessor, Meno (Geno Silva). Diesel is top dog now on the scummy streets and sewers of the 21st-century world nightmare. In cruel times, seamy diversion fits in seamlessly. Cast: Vin Diesel, Larenz Tate, Steve Eastin, Timothy Olyphant. Running time: 1 hr., 39 mins. (Elliot t) ★★1/2 National Security (PG-13) — Mar tin Lawrence and Steve Zahn play L.A.P.D. rejects on both ends of the spectrum who get paired up as security guards. While on par tol, they uncover a smuggling operation, in between bits of slapstick that are obligatory for films of this genre. Cast: Mar tin Lawrence, Steve Zahn, Eric Rober ts. Phone Booth (R) — Stu Shepard (Colin Farrell) fancies that he is a new-glam guy, but he is just another wannabe Sidney Falco, a publicist who dresses in yup-style display threads (markdown Italian suits and deep-color shir ts) while he pitches, schmoozes and snidely snipes at people, of ten on a cell phone. Suddenly, he has to endure a real sniper, a mysterious psycho who calls him in the phone booth, tells him to stay there "or I will kill you," and then torments Stu with truths about his glib, weaseling life. Director Joel Schumacher pumps the nonsense avidly, using touches — smeary jumps, zooms, speed-ups, split-screen multiples — that were get ting old when MTV was only a noisy rug rat. Cast: Colin Farrell, Forest Whitaker, Katie Holmes, Radha Mitchell, Kiefer Sutherland. Running time: 1 hr., 21 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ Piglet’s Big Movie (G) — Piglet gets to be the center of at tention in the latest animated movie based on the Winnie-the-Pooh gang. When the rest of the gang begins a honey harvest and won’t let Piglet help because of his small size, Piglet disappears. To find him, the gang uses his scrapbook as a map, and, along the way, discovers that even a small pig can be a big hero. Cast: John Fiedler, Jim Cummings, Peter Cullen. The Recruit (PG-13) — Al Pacino, as CIA recruiter Walter Burke, takes young MIT grad James Clay ton (Colin Farrell) "through the looking glass," for spy training and tough tests at The Farm, the CIA school outside Washington. His insider hook on Clay ton is that he might have the secret the younger man needs to know, about the dead father whom he suspects died on a CIA mission in 1990. The story tangles boyish Clay ton with the recruit Layla (Bridget Moynahan), another go-for-it brain with a similar taste for danger. The story twists and snaps through the settings with tricky confidence, and the modern device of using computers fits this plot snugly. "The Recruit" manages the commercially savvy trick of being both insolent and patriotic about the CIA. It will probably recruit some fans of this movie. Cast: Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Gabriel Macht, Bridget Moynahan. Running time: 1 hr., 45 mins. (Elliot t) ★★★ What a Girl Wants (PG) — Amanda Bynes hugs and smooches the camera as Daphne Reynolds. Daughter of New York sof t-rock singer Libby (Kelly Preston), she is also the daughter of the very rich and now political Lord Henry Dashwood (Colin Fir th), a British cutie and "future prime minister!" Henry is a bit guilty about split ting with Libby long before. His Moroccan Bedouin wedding with Libby evidently doesn't impede his coming marriage to the militantly upscaling Glynnis (Anna Chancellor). Her snob daughter (Christina Cole) is eager to hate Daphne with blistering superiority. Never intimidated, Daphne dashes to the Dashwood estate in London, where her spunky American adorableness can wreck wedding plans and a lof ty chandelier, yet also make a par ty "rock." Cast: Amanda Bynes, Colin Fir th, Kelly Preston, Jonathan Pryce, Eileen Atkins. Running time: 1 hr., 40 mins. (Elliot t) ★★ —Capsules compiled from movie reviews written by David Elliott, film critic for The San Diego Union-Tribune and other staff writers.

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Cinema: Close-Up

Seann William Scott Breaks Into Action Role

By Joey Berlin

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n immortal kung-fu master searches for the next protector of a magical ancient scroll in “Bulletproof Monk” — and settles on one of the dudes from “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Seann William Scott has become a walking punch line after playing dopey dudes in “Road Trip,” “Evolution” and most memorably, in the blockbuster “American Pie” movies. Loosely adapted from an underground comic book, “Bulletproof Monk” could elevate Scott’s game. He holds his own as a streetwise pickpocket while sharing the screen with Hong Kong action flick icon Chow Yun-Fat, who plays the wise and acrobatic title character. In the few years since the Minnesotaborn Scott entered show business, he has graduated to marquee status. The 26-yearold caught the acting bug while working as a movie theater usher. Scott will help himself to a third slice of “American Pie” when the next installment in the franchise, tentatively titled “American Wedding,” arrives in theaters this summer. Q: Were you excited to film the stunts in “Bulletproof Monk,” considering all that you had to go through physically? A: This was the first movie that I ever went after. I’ve been really blessed to have done the other things I did, but I was always on the fence about those other projects. I just felt like I would really love to do something that’s a little physical, and I was ready to take another step towards something else. I saw the “Bulletproof Monk” script and thought this was a huge opportunity to work with Yun-Fat and the director, Paul Hunter. But I had to convince a lot of people that I was right for it.

Q: So, how did you convince Paul Hunter? A: What was great is that I didn’t really go through a series of auditions with him. I just sat down with him and talked to him. I said, “You know, this is the kind of movie that I moved out to L.A. to get. It has a lot of different elements and I like the character a lot. I think that I’m a lot more quiet and introverted than the characters that I’ve played, and I can relate to this character.” He believed in me. Q: Were you prepared for all the physical training you had to go through? A: I was ready to train. I had gained weight for the comedic parts that I did, to be funnier. I got fat for “American Pie 2” and I got fat for “Dude, Where’s My Car?” But for this, I had to lose weight and start working out. It was great. We trained for a month in L.A. with a couple of the guys who trained everybody for “The Matrix.” I was fine with everything physically. It was just my flexibility that was a problem. I was always spending time stretching and doing gymnastics and stuff. There were so many fight scenes that, even while we were filming, we were always training. When I finished the movie, I felt like it was the most rewarding experience. I did the best that I could with the time that I had. Q: After all that training, how well did you match up with Chow Yun-Fat? A: I remember the first couple of days, I was always so manic. I was thinking, I’ve got to do every stunt, I’ve got to do everything! He was always telling me, “Hey, just relax. Have fun! It’s a movie.” And I told him, “Yeah, but you’ve done, like, 80 of these. You’re the action god, you know what you’re doing.” But it was fun.

Q: When did you see your first Chow Yun-Fat movie? A: The summer that I decided to become an actor, I visited my brother and he asked me, “Have you ever seen any of Chow Yun-Fat’s movies?” And I said, “No. I’ve heard of him, but I’ve never seen his movies.” That night we watched the “Better Tomorrow” series and “Hard Boiled” and “The Killer,” and I was thinking, “This guy is awesome!” I just knew he was different than anything I had watched before. It was just great that, seven years later, everything came full circle and I had a chance to work with him. Q: Are you glad you got your feet wet with those comedies first? A: Definitely. It was good to do “American Pie 2” and “Road Trip,” where you’re doing silly things that could come across as a career-ender. You have to really take a leap of faith and believe in the circumstances and just go for it. What was great is that, if you develop that confidence in taking a risk, that’s perfect for doing an action movie. You have to tell the story with action. There’s so much transitional dialogue that can come across really tough, and you really have to believe in what you’re doing. Q: Do you look at “Bulletproof Monk” as a turning point for you? A: I hope so, and I hope everybody else thinks that. It was so great to work with these people and a chance for me to try something different. There was a lot for me to learn, but it was a good step in the right direction.

Cinema: Review

“Malibu’s Most Wanted” Sure To Induce Laughter By Rachel Deahl

f there’s one thing I’m ashamed to admit I enjoy watching on TV, aside from “Married by America,” it’s the WB’s stupid hidden camera show, “The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.” Helmed by Kennedy, that slightly annoying kid from “Scream” who delivered “the rules of scary movies” to his ill-fated co-stars and the audience, the show revolves around its headliner dressing up in funny costumes and donning silly accents to play pranks on unwitting strangers. And, while the basic premise of the show is tired and dumb, Kennedy occasionally shows real comic flair as he develops different characters for each skit, some memorable enough to become reoccurring fixtures on the show; it’s a process not unlike the one comedians on “Saturday Night Live” endure. Now, in “Malibu’s Most Wanted,” the young comedian continues his unlikely winning streak with an equally ridiculous but irresistible racial farce. As the star and chief writer of “Malibu’s Most Wanted,” Kennedy is writ large here, delivering the same hitand-miss antics that regularly crop on his TV show. Playing the affluent son of a California senator who dreams of being a rapper, the running joke here is Kennedy himself – a white kid who “acts black.” The idiot version of Eminem, sans the street cred and rapping skills, Brad Gluckman (or B-rad as he demands to be called) is a gem of a character. Hopelessly naïve and wellintentioned, he wanders around Malibu dishing out horrible rhymes and uttering words like “shiznit.” Equally out of place on the home front as he is in the local ‘hood, B-rad is

immediately a media concern for the team heading up his dad’s campaign. When the not-so-prodigal son attempts to help on the campaign trail, the staffers agree he’s got to go. So, in an attempt to “scare the black out of him,” the scheming young Republicans (headed up by Blair Underwood) hire two actors to carjack Brad and take him on a tour of the real ghetto. As the two uptight thespians called in for the job, Anthony Anderson and Taye Diggs are forced to pull off the hardest acting job of their life: to “act black.” With its constant play on racial stereotypes, “Malibu’s Most Wanted” is full of characters who are supposedly too white, or black, for their own good. But, unlike the recent “Bringing Down the House,” which played the race card in an offensive and unamusing manner, Kennedy’s film is consistently enjoyable and, more importantly, well-intentioned. While Kennedy himself can be a bit irksome with his high-pitched ghetto speak, the invention of Brad Gluckman is repeatedly amusing. From the flashback to his hip-hop Bar Mitzvah (complete with attendees donning Flavor Flavinspired clocks around their necks) to his embarrassing appearance at an open mic hip-hop showdown, B-rad draws almost as many chuckles as Eminem’s Bunny Rabbit drew dramatic winces. And, with a strong cast that also features appearances from Bo Derek and Snoop Dogg (as a talking rat), the ensemble here is strong. With the dearth of funny movies playing at theaters right now, “Malibu’s Most Wanted” is your best bet to draw some laughs, shocking as that may sound.

MOVIE CLOCK REGAL AUGUSTA EXCHANGE 20 Movies Good 4/18 - 4/24 Bulletproof Monk (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:35, 10:05, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:00, 2:30, 5:00, 7:35, 10:05 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 12:25, 2:00, 2:35, 4:10, 4:40, 7:15, 7:45, 9:25, 9:55, 11:30, 12:05; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 12:25, 2:00, 2:35, 4:10, 4:40, 7:15, 7:45, 9:25, 9:55 Holes (PG) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45, 12:25; Sun-Thur: 1:15, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 11:50, 12:20, 1:00, 1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:00, 4:45, 5:10, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, 9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:30, 12:05, 12:30; Sun-Thur: 11:50, 12:20, 1:00, 1:30, 2:15, 2:45, 3:30, 4:00, 4:45, 5:10, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 8:00, 9:00, 9:30, 10:00, 10:30 House of 1000 Corpses (R) Fri-Sat: 12:50, 3:10, 5:45, 8:05, 10:15, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:50, 3:10, 5:45, 8:05, 10:15 Phone Booth (R) Fri-Sat: 12:40, 3:00, 5:15, 7:20, 9:40, 11:50; Sun-Thur: 12:40, 3:00, 5:15, 7:20, 9:40 A Man Apart (R) 12:10, 2:50, 5:20, 7:55, 10:30 What a Girl Wants (PG) 11:45, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Basic (R) Fri-Sat: 11:55, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50, 12:15; Sun-Thur: 11:55, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50 Head of State (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:05, 12:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 9:25, 10:20, 11:45, 12:35; Sun-Thur: 12:05, 12:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:50, 5:25, 7:10, 7:40, 9:25, 10:20 The Core (PG-13) 12:15, 3:50, 6:55, 10:05 Dreamcatcher (R) 7:15. 10:25 Piglet’s Big Movie (G) 12:25, 2:40, 4:35 Agent Cody Banks (PG) 1:35, 4:15 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 12:35, 2:55, 5:35, 7:35, 8:10, 10:10, 10:45, 12:40; Sun-Thur: 12:35, 2:55, 5:35, 7:35, 8:10, 10:10, 10:45 Chicago (PG-13) Fri-Sat: 1:15, 4:05, 6:50, 9:20, 11:55; Sun-Thur: 1:15, 4:05, 6:50, 9:20 EVANS 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/18 - 4/24 Bulletproof Monk (PG-13) Fri: 4:00, 7:00, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 4:00, 7:00, 9:15 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) Fri: 3:45, 5:45, 7:50, 9:55; Sat-Sun: 1:45, 3:45, 5:45, 7:50, 9:55; Mon-Thur: 5:45, 7:50, 9:55 Holes (PG) Fri: 4:10, 7:10, 9:40; Sat-Sun: 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:40; Mon-Thur: 4:10, 7:10, 9:40 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri: 2:00, 3:10, 4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:20, 10:00; Sat-Sun: 12:55, 2:00, 3:10, 4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:20, 10:00; Mon-Thur: 4:30, 5:20, 7:00, 7:45, 9:20, 10:00 Phone Booth (R) Fri: 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35;

Sat-Sun: 1:35, 3:35, 5:35, 7:35, 9:35; MonThur: 5:35, 7:35, 9:35 A Man Apart (R) Fri-Sun: 2:30, 4:50, 7:30, 9:50; Mon-Thur: 4:50, 7:30, 9:50 Head of State (PG-13) Fri: 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Sat-Sun: 1:25, 3:25, 5:25, 7:25, 9:25; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:25, 9:25 The Core (PG-13) 6:55, 9:40 What a Girl Wants (PG-13) Fri: 4:15, 7:15, 9:30; Sat-Sun: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:30; MonThur: 4:15, 7:15, 9:30 Piglet’s Big Movie (G) Fri: 3:05, 5:05; Sat-Sun: 1:05, 3:05, 5:05; Mon-Thur: 5:05 Agent Cody Banks (PG) Fri: 4:25, 7:05, 9:15; Sat-Sun: 1:55, 4:25, 7:05, 9:15; Mon-Thur: 4:25, 7:05, 9:15 Bringing Down the House (PG-13) Fri-Sun: 2:20, 5:00, 7:20, 9:45; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:20, 9:45 MASTERS 7 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/18 - 4/24 Malibu’s Most Wanted (PG-13) Fri: 5:15, 8:00, 10:15; Sat: 3:15, 5:15, 8:00, 10:15; Sun: 3:15, 5:15, 8:00; Mon-Thur: 5:15, 8:00 Bulletproof Monk (PG-13) Fri: 5:00, 7:45, 9:55; Sat: 2:50, 5:00, 7:45, 9:55; Sun: 2:50, 5:00, 7:45; Mon-Thur: 5:00, 7:45 Anger Management (PG-13) Fri: 5:10, 7:30, 10:00; Sat: 2:45, 5:10, 7:30, 10:00; Sun: 2:45, 5:10, 7:30; Mon-Thur: 5:10, 7:30 Phone Booth (R) Fri: 5:30, 7:55, 10:10; Sat: 3:30, 5:30, 7:55, 10:10; Sun: 3:30, 5:30, 7:55; Mon-Thur: 5:30, 7:55 A Man Apart (R) Fri: 5:05, 7:35, 9:45; Sat: 2:30, 5:05, 7:35, 9:45; Sun: 2:30, 5:05, 7:35; Mon-Thur: 5:05, 7:35 What a Girl Wants (PG) Fri: 5:25, 7:40, 9:50; Sat: 2:40, 5:25, 7:40, 9:50; Sun: 2:40, 5:25, 7:40; Mon-Thur: 5:25, 7:40 Head of State (PG-13) Fri: 5:20, 8:05, 10:05; Sat: 3:10, 5:20, 8:05, 10:05; Sun: 3:10, 5:20, 8:05; Mon-Thur: 5:20, 8:05 REGAL 12 CINEMAS Movies Good 4/18 - 4/24 About Schmidt (R) 2:10, 4:45, 7:20, 9:45 National Security (PG-13) 2:00, 4:25, 7:30, 9:20 The Recruit (PG-13) 2:05, 4:15, 7:30, 9:55 Gods and Generals (PG-13) 2:15, 7:30 Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (PG-13) 1:55, 5:20, 9:05 The Jungle Book 2 (G) 2:40, 4:45, 7:25, 9:15 Kangaroo Jack (PG) 2:45, 5:05, 7:40, 9:40 Deliver Us From Eva (R) 2:15, 4:35, 7:10, 9:30 Final Destination 2 (R) 2:25, 4:20, 7:35, 9:35 Darkness Falls (PG-13) 2:35, 4:50, 7:20, 9:45 Biker Boyz (PG-13) 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:25 Drumline (PG-13) 2:20, 4:40, 7:15, 9:50

Movie listings are subject to change without notice.

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Music Goths’ Night Out

BY LISA JORDAN

Sean Waters, a.k.a. DJ Triskyl Photo: Rachel Foster

Rachel Foster Photo: Dustin Hall

orget First Friday – Last Friday’s where it’s at. The last Friday of every month is the darkest night in Augusta, according to this month’s flyers for Spectral Erosa. It’s the one night when Club Argos, the event’s home since last December, becomes the hub of Augusta’s gothic community. “Spectral Erosa really came about out of a desire to do a goth/industrial night here in Augusta,” says Sean Waters, a.k.a. DJ Triskyl. Spectral Erosa is the brainchild of Waters, who hails the event as a chance to not only bring together Augusta’s goth community, but also as a chance to expose local audiences to the music he loves – synthpop, industrial and electronic body music (EBM). “It’s more about love for music, just wanting to try and engender that here in Augusta,” he says. “It’s really music that sort of binds the scene together.” “Dancing is a huge part,” adds Rachel Foster, Waters’ girlfriend. That should be your first clue that the gothic subculture is nothing to fear. Because numerous misconceptions about goths abound in mainstream cul-

ture and media, Waters and Foster are quick to dispel the myths. “A lot of people are college age or older,” says Foster. “We’re not depressed; we just happen to find beauty and light in things that society as a whole rejects.” “What it is that it’s all about, it’s a celebration encompassing diversity,” Waters says. “That’s really the bottom line.” And that diversity is why attendees of Spectral Erosa are so welcoming to newcomers, from the already-goth in search of a home in Augusta to the curious and uninitiated. “There’s no code about what you have to do,” Waters says. “We just laugh and talk and catch up with our friends,” Foster says, So it’s really no different than any other social group. Except, as the “What Is Goth?” section on www.iceprincess.net purports, “We just dress more imaginatively.” “It ranges, anything from very romantic-looking to more fetishistic,” says Foster of gothic fashion. “Recently, we even have the cybergoth look.” That look, she says, often incorporates wiring

or circuitry of some sort. The fetish look relies on PVC or rubber, while the romantic style embraces velvet and lace. “Black, of course, is a huge part of it,” she says. “More and more, you see dashes of color. It’s just about expressing yourself through what you wear.” And since it’s fun to get all dressed up and go out, seeing and being seen is a definite part of goth culture. “People want to be eye candy,” Foster says with a laugh. “A lot of the goth subculture is rooted in an archetype that embraces elements of classicism,” explains Waters. “It’s a celebration, not morbid or obsessed with death.” Curious yet? Just be forewarned – all this gothic beauty can get addictive. And Augusta’s scene is just scratching the surface of what you’ll find if you hop in the car and venture west or south for a few hours. Atlanta and Tampa, Fla., are the Southeast’s largest gothic scenes. “Columbia has a fair amount of people,” adds Waters. In fact, you can even get a taste of Columbia at this month’s Spectral Erosa – the city’s DJ Kantrip will be in town to spin with Waters.

And, as usual, Augusta’s own Claire Storm will be on hand to heat things up. “It’s more than just a night for people to come out and dance; it’s also a night to come out and be entertained by one of the top cabaret performers in the Southeast,” Waters says. “You will never see a finer show.” In addition to his words of praise for Storm, Waters also acknowledges the other people who contribute to the success of Spectral Erosa. “I’m very appreciative of the scene that’s embraced us here,” he says. Augusta’s BDSM (kinky) community has been particularly supportive. “Argos and Terry have been a fantastic host to my event. And my loving girlfriend, Rachel, has been very supportive.” Now that we’ve got your interest, head on down to Club Argos, at 1923 Walton Way, April 25. Parking is available on Heckle Street, and the entrance to the club is also on Heckle. Doors open at 9 p.m., and there’s a $6 cover. Spectral Erosa is open to those 21 and up. For more information, call 481-8829 or visit www.angelfire.com/sc2/nocturn. All you need to bring with you is an open mind.

Music: CD Review

Strange Compilation Weakens “House of 1000 Corpses” Soundtrack

Come in hungry anytime. Leave happy every time.

By Lisa Jordan

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he soundtrack to "House of 1000 Corpses" is a lot like the movie from whence it came – a curious mishmash of disjointed ideas, references and eras. Perhaps it’s because Rob Zombie, director of the film and contributor to and compiler of the soundtrack, is a jack-of-all-trades. He lists, among his many credits, the occupations of bike messenger, production assistant for "Pee-Wee’s Playhouse," and frontman of pioneer metal band White Zombie. The idea for the movie was even born from one of Zombie’s many endeavors – after designing a horror display for one of the Universal Studios theme parks, the studio offered funding for Zombie’s first fulllength feature. (The gore factor, apparently, eventually scared Universal off releasing the film; the rights have since passed through MGM studios and on to Lion’s Gate Films, which finally released "House of 1000 Corpses" last weekend.) The 25 tracks on the "House of 1000 Corpses" soundtrack are a mix of obligatory dialogue snippets and songs old and new. Of those, five are new Rob Zombie originals. Though most of Zombie’s new songs lack the catchy beats of his earlier solo work and his White Zombie output, a couple tracks on the album come close to capturing the ol’ Zombie sound. Zombie’s standout solo track is "Little Piggy," a laid-back tune with a creepy piano melody and a sultry female voice countering Zombie’s permanent rasp. The song "House of 1000 Corpses" also has the same rockabilly-from-hell vibe that "Little Piggy" only hints at. The song utilizes an expertly plucked upright bass and an excellent breakout performance by Zombie on the chorus. Unfortunately, the rest of Zombie’s solo tracks – "Everybody Scream," "Run, Rabbit, Run" and "Pussy Liquor" – fail to differentiate themselves from one another. Easily the best overall track on the album

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is "Brick House 2003," a remake of The Commodores’ "Brick House." It features the unlikely trio of Zombie, Lionel Richie and Trina (sounding very Lil’ Kim). "Brick House 2003" is the only song on the soundtrack that really gets off the ground, infused with energy and – dare we say it? – fun. As for the non-Zombie tracks, they encompass a broad range of time and moods. Buck Owens’ retro "Who’s Gonna Mow Your Grass?" sounds like a strangely upbeat track for the album – you half expect the Brady gang to join in. And the old-timey pleasures of Slim Whitman’s "I Remember You" are jarring, placed in between dialogue tracks entitled "The Bigger the Cushion" and "Drive Out the Rabbit," respectively. The Ramones break in with the cycling guitars of "Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue," and even the 1920s get a nod with real-life Betty Boop Helen Kane’s vocalization of "I Wanna Be Loved by You." The few worthwhile tracks on the "House of 1000 Corpses" soundtrack aren’t satisfying enough to justify spending actual money on the album. Zombie fans would be better advised to stick with "Hellbilly Deluxe" or "American Made Music To Strip By."

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LEETWOOD MAC, WIDESPREAD PANIC and PETE YORN each have new albums in stores this week. As reported previously in these pages, Fleetwood Mac’s “Say You Will” is the band’s first album without longtime member CHRISTINE MCVIE in over 30 years. LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM and STEVIE NICKS shoulder the songwriting and lead vocals throughout the disc, their first studio release since 1986’s great “Tango in the Night.” SHERYL CROW keeps her personal streak of guesting alive by contributing to one song on the project. Nebulous Rock Dept. Another newie is WIDESPREAD PANIC’S “Ball,” the group’s first studio offering since the death of guitarist MICHAEL HOUSER. It’s also the first Panic set that hasn’t been road tested at gigs, as the band wanted to attempt their new recording from a fresh angle. The group is currently on tour and will headline the upcoming Bonnaroo Festival in Manchester, Tenn., this June. Pete Yorn isn’t that well known yet, but his second disc (“Day I Forgot”) should turn quite a few ears and heads. Working with producer SCOTT LITT (REM, NIRVANA), Yorn’s power pop melodies could make him the next contender in the JOHN MAYER “music should have melody” sweepstakes. His first effort, 2001’s “musicforthemorningafter,” was one of that year’s better releases. PETER BUCK guests. Good stuff. Good News, Bad News Dept. It’s no surprise to anyone that STEELY DAN’S next album “Everything Must Go” has been delayed until June 10. What is a bit shocking is that the band has only one date (Aug. 27 in Bristow, Va.) planned for the Southern states on their summer tour. It’s puzzling: The Dan have always drawn well at previous gigs in Atlanta and Charlotte, so why the snub? “Everything Must Go” is DONALD FAGEN and

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WALTER BECKER’S first album since 2000’s “Two Against Nature,” which garnered Album of the Year honors at the Grammys. There’s more CLASH activity, as the band and record label have been riding the wave of commercial promotion since the group’s induction last month to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Joining the two-disc best-of set “Essential Clash” is the “Essential Clash DVD,” which features clips and live performances from their salad days as England’s best rockers. Among the selections featured are complete videos for “London Calling,” “Train in Vain,” “Rock the Casbah” and “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” Promotional footage and interview segments are also included. It’s due in June. Turner’s Quick Notes MOTHER’S FINEST absolutely slayed a packed house last week at the Blind Pig ... 311’s next album has a name and a release date: “Evolver,” due July 11 ... BECK has announced touring plans for the spring with dates and venues forthcoming ... Four more PHISH concerts are set in support of the May 20 release of the next installments in the “Live Phish” series ... NORAH JONES’ Grammy-winning “Come Away With Me” recently passed the 9 million mark in sales worldwide ... Last week’s show at the Bell, 1964: A BEATLES TRIBUTE was easily the best of the three similar shows that have visited Augusta in the past year. The band even used the same exact guitars, amps, and equipment that THE FABS did. A splendid time was had by all. Turner’s Rock and Roll Jeopardy A. This classic rock band contains two members that have beards and one that is one. Q. Who is ZZ Top? (Dusty Hill and Billy Gibbons have facial stuff, but drummer Frank Beard does not.)

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Jagger-Wincott Drama Comes to an End Lizzie Jagger, the 18-year-old model and Rolling Stone offspring, has kicked her 44year-old boyfriend, professional villain Michael Wincott, to the curb. Sources say she found him boring. He probably just can’t keep up with ... whatever it is that juveniles like to talk about. Chin up, Mike. At least the word “Viagra” hasn’t come up in the press. And on a side note, do you know what nickname, besides Mike is short for Michael? Mick. But we won’t go there. Beyonce Battles in the Courtroom The Wilhemina Artist Agency is taking Beyonce Knowles of Destiny’s Child to court with a claim that she didn’t pay them for her L’Oreal ads. They say she owes 10 percent of a $1 million contract. Two things we must remember in this world: You must always pay your agent, and never, ever, forget to tip your bartender. Rave Promoters Beware Congress has passed a bill that could levy major fines and jail sentences on club owners and promoters who host raves, as the bill states, “for the purpose of providing an arena

for illegal drugs.” Now, how are prosecutors supposed to prove this intent? Critics are worried that the bill’s phrasing is too broad. The bill is also on its way to Dubya for his presidential John Hancock. Not Your Average Gangsta Carolyn Stinson, who filed a wrongful-death civil suit against aspiring rapper Antron Singleton, a.k.a. The Big Lurch, and record label Tha Row (formerly known as Death Row Records) last week, has since dropped Tha Row from the lawsuit. Stinson alleges that Singleton killed her daughter, Tynisha Ysais, last April before mutilating and partially cannibalizing her body. Stinson had claimed that Singleton was plied with narcotics and encouraged to commit acts of violence by Tha Row in order to gain street credibility; a dismissal dealing with that aspect of the case was filed in Los Angeles Wednesday morning. Makin’ His Mama Proud Ruining the romantic fantasies of preteens everywhere, Justin Timberlake won the award for Best Celebrity Burp at last weekend’s Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards. Aim high, Justin. Aim high.

COMPILED BY RHONDA JONES & LISA JORDAN Information compiled from online and other music news sources.

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Night Life

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Juice is at the Playground Friday, April 18.

Thursday, 17th The Bee’s Knees - The Kilpatrick Project Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Karaoke, DJ Joe Coliseum - Karaoke with DJ Mania Continuum - Playa*Listic Thursday Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Men’s Country and Western National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Pat Blanchard The Lighthouse - DJ Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Richie Rich Orange Moon - Live Poetry Playground - Open Mic Soul Bar - Jet by Day, Tur tleneck Stool Pigeons - Jayson and Michael Time Piecez - DJ Dance Par ty Whiskey Junction - DJ Chaos

Friday, 18th The Bee’s Knees - Jazz Sessions Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - Will McCranie Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Club Argos At Large Pageant, DJ Schlepp Rock Coliseum - Purple Par ty Continuum - Slim Bow Records Cotton Patch - Quiet Storm Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - Jemani, X Vor tex, 17 Shun D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Goin’ Apes - DJ Jef f

Greene Streets - Karaoke Highlander - Senatobia Joe’s Underground - Red-Headed Stepchild Last Call - Tony Howard, DJ Richie Rich The Lighthouse - Breeze Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Playground - Juice Shannon’s - Steve Chappell, Bar t Bell Soul Bar - (r)evolution with DJ JR Whiskey Junction - Wa x Bean, DJ Paul

Saturday, 19th The Bee’s Knees - Sweet Nuthin’ Indie Rock Blind Pig - Shameless Dave and the Miracle Whips Borders - Miles Anderson Cafe Du Teau - Bernard Chambers Capri Cinema - Lybian Hit Squad, Passive Resistance, Imadazzle Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Club Argos - Argos Angels Cabaret with Petite DeJonville, Claire Storm, Ms. Sasha, DJ Schlepp Rock Coliseum - Ravionne Starr Continuum - Live Band Cotton Patch - Sabo and the Scorchers Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band Crossroads - 420 Outback, Machine 7 D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Durango’s - Magic Hat Goin’ Apes - DJ Jef f Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - Silver Dash Music (John Kolbeck, Ruskin, Jamie Jones) Last Call - Natural Desire, DJ Richie Rich The Lighthouse - New Soul Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Modjeska - DJ Boriqua Shannon’s - Bamboo Soul Bar - The Big Mighty Whiskey Junction - Wa x Bean

Silver Dash Music performs at Joe’s Underground April 19. Whiskey Road Oyster Factory - Bogie

Sunday, 20th Cafe Du Teau - The Last Bohemian Quar tet Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Goin’ Apes - DJ Jef f Orange Moon - Live Reggae The Shack - Karaoke, Sasha’s Talent Show Shannon’s - Tony Howard Somewhere in Augusta - John Kolbeck Whiskey Junction - Karaoke by Tom

Monday, 21st Coliseum - QAF Continuum - Monday Madness Crossroads - Club Sin Dance Par ty with DJ Chris Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John

Tuesday, 22nd Adams Nightclub - Karaoke with Bill Tolber t The Bee’s Knees - Comin’ ‘Round the Bend Classic Country Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Coliseum - Tournament Tuesday D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Karaoke Joe’s Underground - John Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Stool Pigeons - Karaoke with Linda Eubanks

Wednesday, 23rd The Bee’s Knees - Mellow Sounds Supperclub Casi’s Kitchen - Buzz Clif ford Coliseum - Wet ‘n’ Wild Talent Search Continuum - Open Mic Jam Sessions Coyote’s - The Rhes Reeves Band

Crossroads - The Family Trucksters D. Timm’s - Joe Patchen and the Blue Diamond Express Greene Streets - Women’s Country and Western National Karaoke Contest Joe’s Underground - Keith “Fossill” Gregory Michael’s - Marilyn Adcock Playground - Karaoke with Mike and Scot t The Shack - Karaoke Shannon’s - Steve Chappell, Bar t Bell Somewhere in Augusta - Patrick Blanchard Soul Bar - Live Jazz

Upcoming Spectral Erosa - Club Argos - April 25 Percy Sledge - The Lighthouse - April 25 The Jennifer Nettles Band - Soul Bar - April 26

Elsewhere Jimmy Buffett - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta - April 17 Derek Trucks Band - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - April 17 Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe - Variety Playhouse, Atlanta - April 18-19 Camper Van Beethoven - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - April 18-19 Pearl Jam - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre, Atlanta April 19 Honk y Tonk Hall of Fame and Rock ‘N’ Roll Road Show - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. April 19 Guster - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - April 19 Suwannee Bound Festival - Spirit of Suwannee Music Park, Live Oak, Fla. - April 19-20 Ellen DeGeneres - Woodruf f Ar ts Center, Atlanta - April 20 Ozma, Slowreader, Earlimart - Cot ton Club, Atlanta - April 20 The Delgados - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - April 21 Little River Band - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - April 21

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420 Outback (pictured) plays Crossroads Saturday night. Joining them will be Machine 7. Tracy and The Plastics, King Kobra - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - April 22 Lamb of God - Uncle Doctor’s, Columbia, S.C. April 22; Masquerade, Atlanta - April 24 Taking Back Sunday - Cot ton Club, Atlanta April 23 Mark Gardener - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - April 23 King Hippo - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. April 24 Bright Eyes, Arab Strap - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - April 25 Cher - Philips Arena, Atlanta - April 25 Jennifer Nettles, Matt Nathanson - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - May 1 Superfly Jazz Fest - Various Venues, New Orleans, La. - April 25-May 4 Mose Allison, Ben Tucker - The Jazz Corner, Hilton Head Island, S.C. - April 27 Widespread Panic - Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Ga. - April 29 Southern Culture on the Skids - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 1 Music Midtown Festival - Various Venues, Atlanta - May 2-4 The Cramps - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - May 6 Stephen Malkmus - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 8 Avril Lavigne - The Arena at Gwinnet t Center, Duluth, Ga. - May 8 Angie Aparo - The Jazz Corner, Hilton Head Island, S.C. - May 11 Johnny Marr and the Healers - 40 Wat t Club, Athens, Ga. - May 12 Steve Earle and the Dukes - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - May 12 Willie Nelson - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 16 Dezeray’s Hammer - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - May 16 Vic Chesnutt - 40 Watt Club, Athens, Ga. - May 17 Nada Surf, Sondre Lerche - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 17 Rick Springfield - Chastain Park Amphitheatre,

Atlanta - May 17 Eddie From Ohio - The Handlebar, Greenville, S.C. - May 17 Dave Chappelle - The Tabernacle, Atlanta - May 18 Supersuckers - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - May 24 Kenny Loggins - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 Earth, Wind & Fire - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - May 25 James Taylor - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 2 Fleetwood Mac - Philips Arena, Atlanta - June 3 Ash - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - June 3 David Lee Roth - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 6 Film, Jet - Echo Lounge, Atlanta - June 6 Dan Fogelberg - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 8 Neil Young and Crazy Horse, Lucinda Williams - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 11 Olivia New ton-John - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 15 Peter Gabriel - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 16 Heart - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 22 Aretha Franklin - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta - June 24 Boston - Chastain Park Amphitheatre, Atlanta June 29 Many tickets are available through TicketMaster outlets, by calling 828-7700, or online at w w w.ticketmaster.com. Tickets may also be available through Tix Online by calling 278-4TIX or online at w w w.tixonline.com. Night Life listings are subject to change without notice. Deadline for inclusion in Night Life calendar is Tuesday at 4 p.m. Contact Rhonda Jones or Lisa Jordan by calling 738-1142, fa xing 736-0443 or e-mailing to rhonda_jones@metspirit.com or lisa_jordan@metspirit.com.

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Jesus came back to life. Why can’t your faith do the same? Come join us this Easter as we celebrate the miracle of the resurrection. Easter Sunday Service 10:30 a.m. followed by Easter Egg Hunt for children. Worshipping at Savannah Rapids Pavilion 3300 Evans to Lock Rd. (706) 210-1133 Web site: holycomforterchurch.org

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awsuits were filed in Chicago in February and in Hangzhou, China, in January demanding that theaters stop showing advertisements (not just the “previews”) that run past a movie’s announced starting time. Lawyers Mark Weinberg and Zhang Yang charged the theaters with fraud because of the three- to four-minute ad blitzes they endured recently after they had been expecting the films to get under way. The Chicago lawyer demanded a refund plus $75 in damages; the lawyer in China demanded a refund plus the equivalent of $4.50. • Eve Ensler’s play “The Vagina Monologues” (a series of explicit speeches on sexuality and repression) was performed at a hotel in Islamabad, Pakistan, in March, by Ms. Ensler and a troupe of local actresses (bundled in their traditional clothing) to an invited audience of 150, who apparently loved it, according to a report in Toronto’s Globe and Mail. “If (the play) can happen here, it can happen anywhere,” said Ms. Hibaaq Osman, a Somali Muslim activist, who in a fit of enthusiasm renamed the capital city “Vaginabad.” “Having these Pakistani women talking about vibrators (is) what it’s all about.” Fetishes on Parade • Police in Edinburgh, Scotland, put out an alert in March after a man claiming to be raising money through stunts for a charity tricked a young female shopkeeper into allowing him to cover her bare feet in baked beans and other vegetables from cans, before taking several photos and leaving. And in February, a motorist reported as 40ish and balding stopped on the campus of Missouri Western State College in St. Joseph, grabbed a passing female student’s arm, licked it, and quickly drove off. Cultural Diversity • A couple in Tianjin, China, in a February newspaper advertisement, offered an amount equal to $15,300 for a man aged 25 to 35 to step up and marry their recently deceased daughter, who was 28 and is now, according to a dream the mother had, lonely. In exchange for the dowry, the man must remain “faithful.” (These “ghost marriages” were an ancient custom until outlawed by the communist regime, but have made a small comeback in recent years.) • Recent annual rituals in India: Females aged 14 to 21 in Malajpur village in Madhya Pradesh state had evil spirits once again expelled by broom beatings (sometimes severe) after they stepped into chilly waters to bring the spirits out in the open (January). And women in the city of Coimbatore in Tamil Nadu state once again allowed a priest to walk on them wearing shoes containing nails in their soles, as an act of devotion and penance at a traditional

festival (March). And nude worshipping by female Hindus continued at a festival in Chandragutti village in Karnataka state, celebrating the goddess Renukamba, despite the annual effort to make the women get dressed (March). • Ashoura day, the annual Lebanese martyrdom-inspiring tribute to a Muslim saint (grandson of the Prophet Muhammad), was celebrated on March 13 by thousands of Shiite worshippers who slashed themselves on the head. Many in the crowd marched through the city of Nabatiyeh while bleeding profusely, until their faces and clothing were nearly completely red. • Recently, many Lithuanians, whose country is poised to join the European Union next year, were cringing at the insistence by President Rolandas Paksas to continue to rely for advice on local mystic Lena Lolisvili. Among Lolisvili’s methods for healing people: She wraps them in toilet paper, which she believes God has energized for her. Trendy Surname • Larry Ray Pratt, 48, became the first person charged under Kansas’ new foodsupply safety law after he was arrested in January for allegedly urinating on packages of chicken in the walk-in freezer at a Dillon grocery store in Olathe. (Police said he had a grudge.) And in Bennington, Vt., in December, Lori T. Pratt, 30, was charged with shooting her husband after she found a pornographic video under the couple’s bed. (Also, News of the Weird readers will recall a November story on Ms. Kelli Pratt, 45, who was arrested in Modesto, Calif., after allegedly viciously biting her husband’s scrotum in a fit of anger at his refusal to have sex with her, bites that caused an infection from which he died six days later.) Recurring Theme • News of the Weird reported in September on a San Antonio lawyer called for jury duty but who told the judge that he’d serve only if the court paid him his regular rate of $100 an hour. (He of course changed his mind when the judge directly ordered him to come in.) In January, Charlotte, N.C., physician Charles Ferree similarly rejected his jury-duty notice, telling the judge his patients came first and that if any patient died (or even suffered) while he was on jury duty, the judge would be held responsible. Ferree also threatened to judge any cases he had quickly and harshly and made fun of judges’ relatively lax hours (compared to those of harried physicians). Only Dr. Ferree’s subsequently expressed remorse kept him out of jail for longer than the 10 days (for contempt) the judge handed down. Educators Out of Control • New York City P.S. 192 principal Evelyn Peralta-Tessitore (an anti-alcohol crusader) was charged with DUI after police spotted her at 2:30 p.m. on a February day, alongside a Bronx road, standing by her car, urinating. And Mary Ann Swissler, a part-time professor at Seton Hall University (South Orange, N.J.), was fired after she responded to negative student course reviews with an e-mail calling most of her students “mental midgets” and the most “homophobic, sexist, racist, lying sacks of (word represented as “s t” in a news story) I have ever met in my life.” — Chuck Shepherd © United Press Syndicate

Brezsny's Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Anyone who is in the habit of bestowing gifts and blessings on others is a candidate for sainthood. Generosity is one of the greatest virtues. But there is a related quality that surpasses it: the ability to give without any strings attached, without any expectation of being appreciated or praised for one’s largesse. How’d you like to begin working on a mastery of this demanding skill, Aries? The coming weeks will afford you ripe opportunities. (P.S. For those of you who are political activists, remember the Dalai Lama’s thought: You should work as hard as you can to reduce suffering and foster justice — accepting that all of your efforts may come to nothing in the end.)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Who or what will rescue you, Taurus? A divine intervention, perhaps? A sympathetic friend who totally understands you? A teacher who knows exactly what you need at this turning point? I suspect the answer is none of the above. Don’t worry, though, because a brave hero is on the way, primed to provide you with an exit, a solution and a cure. And who is this great deliverer? For a clue, I give you this poem by Simeon Samuel Frug: “No savior from without can come/ To those that live and are enslaved./ Their own messiah they must be,/ And play the savior and the saved.”

In the 1950s, scientists developed methods to synthesize artificial diamonds in the laboratory. But it’s only recently they have mastered technology that allows them to grow small natural diamonds into bigger ones very quickly and without any flaws. I suggest you make this your operative metaphor in the coming weeks, Cancerian. You’ll be wise to mobilize all your resources as you rapidly expand the part of your life that is most like a diamond. It’s time to expedite the evolution of your valuable beauty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

My daughter’s sixth grade class will perform a play this spring, as it has the last five years. The script, an adaptation of a tale from “The Arabian Nights,” features a magical talking bird as a key character. One of the students, a Leo, asked the teacher not to give her that role, as plum as it is. Why? Because she wants to avoid any further typecasting: She has played the part of a bird in three of the last four class plays. I urge you to consider making a similar stand, Leo. You’ll soon be offered a chance to squeeze yourself into a coveted niche you’ve occupied before. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it; just think long and hard about the baggage that comes with it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Here’s what I wrote in my journal on an April night ten years ago: “Ever since I learned to see three sides of every story, I’ve been coming across much better stories.” Here’s what I overheard from a woman in the grocery store check-out line today: “I’m not saying that truth is always relative, but I have often found it to be fluid, slippery, vagrant, scrambled, promiscuous, and kaleidoscopic.” And here’s a favorite saying of seminal TV newscaster Art Amadon: “I get my way more often now that I have more than one way.” What else do you need to know to prepare for the upcoming week, Gemini? ACROSS

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

“What if you stumbled on a person living in the dark, starved, chained, drugged and poisoned?” asks futurist Jay Gary. “You’d turn on the light, unlock his chains and nourish him back to health. That poor soul is the human imagination — yours and mine.” I agree with Gary’s assessment. Our imaginations are in bad shape, numbed by the media’s nonstop onslaught of fear-provoking, spindoctored, soul-killing “information.” The situation is tragic. Imagination is not just a playful capacity we call on when we’re making art, after all. It’s our ability to form mental pictures of things that don’t exist yet; it’s what we use to shape our future. But

31 What might

have a person spinning? 6 Subject for 34 “Doctor Who” Fermi airer 10 Chinese image 37 Pop singer in a shrine Mann 14 Kind of box 38 Sound heard 15 Mother of during a Castor and massage Pollux 39 “Vive ___!” 16 Dr. Dre 41 Nitrous oxide, contemporary e.g. 17 Words from 42 Like a stressful young George job? Washington? 45 Through 19 Collapsed 46 Latke 20 Sit (down) ingredients 21 Petrol purchase 47 Charmingly odd 50 Precept 22 Exultation 52 Press 23 Some tournaments 53 From the beginning: Lat. 25 Prince Edward, e.g. 55 In-line skating gear 27 Director’s cry 59 “Not returnable” 30 Penn State 60 Outlaw’s limit? branch site

New York Times Crossword Puzzle

1 Chickens

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE S E N S O R

O R A C L E

R A H R A H

H I M A S A R M E D W H P E A E S T P T S

E S S E E L A B V O O W C A S D L O O O P S

A B A C I

T E C H I E

D R E I

M L I L I N D O C N E E P I N C T A O S T T O O

A T T N

W H I G S

O R V G W S E G S G C N E O N G E

N T S A O Y C L S H A L T O R R E S L O M E A S I N D H E E S S E A E V R A N E M A N E T T N E S

P L U L O T

X E S O U T

62 Possible result

of bankruptcy 63 The Phantom of the Opera 64 Something to go under 65 Obedience school command 66 Writer Isak Dinesen, e.g. 67 Costa del Sol feature

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

My acquaintance Judith decided to go all out in helping her daughter sell Girl Scout cookies. She filled her garage with cases of all nine varieties in preparation for a marketing onslaught on friends and neighbors. Then one night disaster struck. Raccoons exploited a hole in the roof to break in and plunder the stash. But while the marauders ripped open boxes of every cookie type, they ate only one: the Samoas, also known as Carmel deLites, which are covered in caramel, sprinkled with toasted coconut, and laced with chocolate stripes. In the coming week, Libra, I urge you to be like those raccoons in this one regard: Unleash your passionate hunger very precisely. Don’t go after what you sorta kinda like; pluck only the treats you long for with all your heart.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Want to get the most out of your upcoming adventures, Scorpio? Then adopt an outlook that combines the objectivity of a scientist and the “beginner’s mind” of Zen Buddhism. To pull this off, you’ll have to suspend your theories about the way the world works. Realize that what you’ve learned in the past won’t be a reliable guide to understanding current events. Be skeptical of your biases, even the benevolent ones. Try to see the naked truth, stripped of the interpretations that your emotions might be inclined to impose.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

It’s time to purify your intentions, Sagittarius; time to make sure that you love what you love and seek what you seek for only the best reasons. For inspiration, memorize this poem by the eighth-century Sufi mystic poet, Rabia: “I carry a torch in one hand/ And a bucket of water in the other:/ With these things I am going to set fire to Heaven/ And put out the flames of Hell/ So that no one worships God/ for fear of hell or greed of heaven.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You don’t realize how fertile you are, Capricorn. Nor can you possibly comprehend how much more fecund you will become in the coming weeks. That’s why it’s so lucky you have tuned in to this

14 18

23 27

38 42

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

Early in his career, Robert Bly rarely wrote love poetry, though he studied the work of others who did. As he aged, he stopped reading the angst-ridden ruminations of modern poets and sought out the ecstatic love poetry of mystics like Rumi and Kabir. Increasingly, forgiveness and compassion became central aspects of Bly’s emotional repertoire. His rage about his own past romantic disappointments dissipated. In his mid-forties, he wrote “Loving a Woman in Two Worlds,” his first collection of love poetry. A critic in the New York Times Book Review said it wasn’t a real book of love poems because there wasn’t enough hatred and anger in it. to which I say: “Ha!” Your assignment this week, Pisces, is to write a love poem and think love thoughts from which all hate and anger have been purged. — © Rob Brezsny You Can Call Rob Brezsny, day or night, for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope

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33 39

45 48

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

To those living in the Northern Hemisphere, the North Star is the second most important star. Also known as Polaris or Pole Star, it is always directly overhead all night long. Compared to the other stars, which come and go, it’s a bastion of stability. Throughout history, it served as a beacon aiding the navigation of sailors. That’s why it became a symbol for a homing signal or guiding principle. Synonyms for “polestar” include focal point, gist, marrow, pivot, root and crux. In your own life, Aquarius, what is the metaphorical equivalent of the North Star? According to the astrological omens, it’s time to make adjustments and do upkeep in your relationship with that hub. (For those of you in the Southern Hemisphere, your equivalent is Sigma Octantis.)

horoscope. Just in time, I am alerting you to your awesome generative power, ensuring that you will be very thoughtful and discriminating about which seeds you sow. About six months from now, therefore, you will most certainly harvest great big beautiful fruits, not great big ugly weeds.

DOWN 1 Bit of a cloud 2 “American ___” 3 Catalan painter Joan 4 Victim of a drift net 5 Farm pen 6 French actor Delon 7 Libretti 8 River of Brandenburg 9 Dessert wine 10 Shake a bit 11 Seat of Marion County, Fla. 12 Evening hour 13 Mount 18 Graff of “Mr. Belvedere” 24 Japanese game figures 26 Wide, in a way 27 Like gossiping tongues 28 Herbal “pet” 29 Allen and Conway

here’s some good news, Virgo: You now have special power to rehabilitate and reinvigorate your imagination. Get in there and turn on the light, unlock the chains, and nourish it back to health.

46 50

Puzzle by Cathy Millhauser

30 For grades K

through 12 32 Lock maker 33 Unnecessary part 34 Esprit 35 Beethoven’s birthplace 36 Weeds 40 Voters’ survey

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Thur The Weekend Starts Now with Karaoke @ 9:00 and DJ Joe will get you moving with the best dance music. Beer & Drink Specials all night. Fri

Club Argos At Large Pageant & DJ Schlepp Rock

Sat

Argos Angels’ Cabaret with Petite De Jonville, Claire Storm & Ms. Sasha. DJ Schlepp Rock.

COMING EVENTS Fri-4/25 Spectral Erosa’ Goth Night. Argos welcomes Gay, Lesbian, Bi, BDSM, Swingers, TVTS & all openminded patrons

Call us @ 481-8829 or email us at ClubArgos@aol.com

THE COLISEUM

Premier Entertainment Complex & High Energy Dance Music Friday, 4/18 Purple Party-All You Can Drink Well Liquor or Draft Beer $9 Saturday, 4/19 Ravionne Star Coming Friday, 4/25 Hollywood Creations

Drink Specials: WED $7 Wet N' Wild SAT $2 Bud/Bud Light

Open Mon-Fri 8pm-3am Sat 8pm-2:30am

Fri & Sat. No Cover Before 10 p.m. 1632 Walton Way • Augusta, GA

706-733-2603

HYPNOSIS WORKS! Stop Smoking

Lose Weight

L❤ve & Light Healing Center 2477 Wrightsboro Rd.

733-4187 ❤ 733-8550

Wheels

Dead Bodies Wanted

We want your dead junk or scrap car bodies. We tow away and for some we pay. 706/829-2676

706/798-9060

(803) 441-0053 425 Carolina Springs Rd North Augusta, SC Tues Rum Tuesday All Barcardi Drinks $3 Wed Karaoke & 241 Frozen Margaritas & Coladas, $2 Bottled Beer & $9 All you Can drink Sun

Volley Ball @ 5:00, Karaoke @ 8:00 & Sasha’s Talent Show @ 12:30

Come have fun where the party doesn’t end at 3:00am!

... You’re Not Partying

Email: ColiseumAugusta@aol.com

$5.00 OFF, call 770-490-3608

The Shack

The CSRA’s Only All Night Place

Wanted

CAN’T SELL IT? Make a tax deductible donation to the Habitat ReStore! All proceeds benefit Habitat for Humanity’s homebuilding program. Accepted donations include: furniture, windows, doors, light fixtures, plumbing fixtures, cabinets and working appliances. Free pick up available. Call (706) 364-7637 or bring it to the ReStore at 1004 Walton Way, Augusta.

Call 738-1142 to place your Classified ad today!

M E T R O S P I R I T

Miscellaneous For Sale Genuine English (Raleigh) Lightweight ladies touring bike. Very good condition. $35.00, needs new tires, call Maddie 860-4745. (06/12#8073) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– GE Refrigerater, runs great, looks OK, $35.00 Delivery available ex tra charge. Call 706-793-1563. (06/12#8071) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Infiniti floor speakers, with tweeter, midrange, woofer and passive radiator, $125, Call 869-8931. (06/05#8063) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Recliner, blue, fair condition $25.00. Dinet te table w/ 4 chairs $40.00 Call 706-868-9827. (06/05#8064) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sony five CD carousel with remote, box, manual, works great, $75, call 869-8931. (06/05#8061) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Baritone Brass Instrument w/ case, good condition, $700.00 Please call 803-652-8312, between 7 pm & 9 pm. (05/29#8052) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Antique Sewing Machine Tables with oak tops. (40” X 20” & 30” X 30”) Excellant condition, $50 each. Call 706-868-1384 after 5 pm. (05/29#8050) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bicycle Built For Two - Trail-mate - red - excellant condition, $195.00 OBO 706-541-0656 (05/29#8051) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Adult DVD - 10 adult DVD’s $80.00 for all. 803-648-5360 (05/29#8053) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sofa and Loveseat - loose pillowback, beige with burgandy, green and blue accents. Excellent condition. Sold as a set! $250.00. 706-836-3120 (05/15#8035)

Bedroom dresser with large mirror $50.00; Octagan shaped lamp table $15.00; Over tub shower bench $50.00, Call 706736-7356 (05/15#8034) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Electric Lift Chair, Recliner.Blue by Invacare. Paid $900.00 new, will sell for $500.00. Will hold a very large person. Call 790-0793. (05/08#8026) Three End Tables and Night Stand, very nice solid wood All for $25.00 One large microwave and stereo receiver & speaker - All for $30.00 Call - 706-774-6400. (05/08#8027) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Boxwood Shrub, three years old, 18 inches tall $2.50 Call 706-863-3518 (05/08#8028) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sears 3HP Power Reel Mower; 7 Blade Power Propelled. $150.00 Call 855-7162 (05/08#8029) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Books - Most $2.00 - $3.00 - Lots on Holocaust - Wiesel, Levi - Others. 706 737-6219, Leave Message. (05/08#8030) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Childs wood play fort with lad, slide, sandbox. Treated/GC, great for spring/summer. 706-840-8635 LM. $75 OBO (05/01#8014) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Bathroom/Vanity mirror 3 foot x 29 inch with chrome slides for top and bot tom. $25 OBO, 706-840-8635 LM (05/01#8014) ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Porsche Service Sign $50.00 service sign from dealership 11”X14” pic available. PlatinumPorscheX@aol.com (04/17#8007)

Advertising Sales The Metropolitan Spirit seeks experienced media sales people or people with qualified sales experience to sell display advertising. Excellent earnings, growth opportunity, and benefits. RESUME & COVER LETTER Advertising Sales c/o The Metropolitan Spirit P.O. Box 3809 Augusta, GA 30914

706.738.1142 ALL REPLIES CONFIDENTIAL

A P R 1 7

’ve been married to my wife for two years, and I’ve been faithful. The problem is my mother-in-law. She’s really sexy and has an awesome personality. I’m so attracted to her; I wish I could have just one night with her. I know it’s wrong, and it can’t happen because she’s married and so am I, but she’s on my mind all the time. Just so I can get past these feelings, should I confront her? —All in the Family Were you dropped on your head as a child? Are you looking to get dropped on your head as an adult? Just because you have a self doesn’t mean you should express it. Yes, this goes against popular wisdom — wisdom especially popular with people determined to pin you to a wall at a cock tail par ty and wa x on about something ex tremely personal and headbangingly dull. It’s a favorite, too, with people who shout loudly into cell phones in public places, apparently convinced that the world will be a bet ter place once word gets out that they changed la xatives or forgot to floss. They call this freedom of speech. I call it bad breeding. Some people will claim to value your selfexpression and press you to voice your innermost hopes, dreams and fears. If your name is Larry David, Woody Allen or Chris Rock, they might actually be sincere. If not, they are either trying to be polite or preparing to ask you for money — either to borrow it or to bill you for it. This brings us to the only people who will benefit from you expressing your feelings — divorce lawyers looking to step up the payment schedule on their Lamborghinis by clearing your life of excess cars, houses and wives. If you value the marital package you have, you’ll limit your self-expression to picking out the pat tern that best suits you (spor ty stripes or maybe frolicking cats?) from a collection of decorator muzzles. Star t training your self to sit quietly in a straight-backed chair, acknowledging that it can’t get every thing it wants; for example, a shor tcut out of unrequitable lust by expressing disappointment that only telephone companies of fer “Friends and Family” plans. You fell into the mommy-in-law vor tex by making lit tle mental videos of her and replaying them endlessly, against your bet ter judgment (if any), until you just about went blind with lust. You can claw your way out pret ty much the same way you got in. Instead of endlessly indulging yourself, just endlessly unindulge your-

self. Sounds like fun, huh? Whenever the lady hops on one of your synapses and crosses her legs like Sharon Stone, this is your cue to run her out of your head. Do whatever it takes to keep her out, such as reciting the directions on a book of matches in 26 languages. (How do you say “Close cover before striking” in Farsi?) Throw yourself into new activities; for instance, those involving a focus on your wife. You might even take her on a romantic vacation — your wife, that is — as soon as you’re intelligent enough to travel, i.e., when you no longer need help answering the question, “Should I confront her?” The fact that you’d even need to ask is a sign: With all the blood rushing away from your brain, your IQ is topping out around that of a houseplant. Until that changes, it’s probably a good idea to avoid intellectually challenging tasks, such as using a salt shaker or trying to pull up your socks without assistance. To enhance your comprehension of this column (if any), reread it while standing on your head.

Perhaps you can tell by my heavily accented penmanship that I’m an Englishman. My recent transfer to the United States has caused me some dating woes. With English women, vocal inflections and other subtleties tell me if they’re interested. Here, every woman smiles broadly and says, “What’s happening?” Am I suddenly exceptionally attractive or merely in need of a translator? —Lonely Bloke You have beige food, we have beige people. Then again, from an American perspective, you Brits (especially the upper classes) tend to be rather beige yourselves. Whether an Englishman loves you or loathes you, the expression is the same — a tiny smile with a curl of disdain (like you’re drooling out the corner of your mouth, but they’re too polite to mention it). Forget the subtleties, like whether a woman is indicating interest or wishing you’d wake up floating in the Thames. Ask her out. Ask them all out. Just tell yourself rejection is the cost of doing romantic business. Apparently, you’ve limited your contact with American women to staring at them, or you’d know what most expat Brits know: With a cute British accent, you’re unlikely to experience much rejection. Just open your stif f upper lip, flash them your bad teeth, and you’re in. — © 2003, Amy Alkon

Got A Problem? Write Amy Alkon

171 Pier Ave., Box 280 • Santa Monica, CA 90405 or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com

2 0 0 3

48 M E T R O S P I R I T

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ATTENTION! Your military date is in Augusta. SF seeks military male, 29-45, with good sense of humor, good values/qualities. No abusers. Race open. Children ok. Will answer all. ☎334255 SINGLE MOM DWF, 40, 5’3”, brown/brown, full-figured, new to the area, seeks non-smoking SCM, 40+, for companionship, friendship, possibly more. ☎319109 NURSE SEEKS DOCTOR LOVE SWF, 24, blonde/brown, full-figured, attractive, financially independent, N/S, N/D, single mom of one, desires for special SWM, 24-33, honest, employed, N/S, N/D, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎323553 THE LONG RUN SBF, 43, single parent, health service technician, Capricorn, N/S, loves basketball. Seeking BM, 37-47, N/S, for friendship, love, and beyond. ☎872160 TAKE ME DANCING SWF, 25, 5’9”, blonde/brown, Gemini, N/S, seeks WM, 30-38, N/S, who likes kids. For dating. ☎385501 LIGHT UP MY LIFE Beautiful BF, 60, 5’11”, with a brown complexion, N/S, N/D, has lots of love and passion to share with a SBM, who goes to church. ☎383766 MORE THAN AVERAGE Slender SBF, 53, 5’2”, independent, Aries, smoker, loves music, conversation, laughter. Seeking independent, mature SBM, 48-65, for friendship first. ☎369627 MAKE ME LAUGH SWF, 41, Scorpio, smoker, seeks WM, 35-50, who is fun, likes to share life with me! ☎368509 HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER SWF, 57, 5’11”, 130lbs, very trim, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys canoeing, backpacking, nature photography, and hiking. Seeking WM, 52-62, N/S, with similar interests. ☎358288 A GOOD-HEARTED WOMAN Honest SWF, 5’4”, long dark brown/hazel, would like to meet a trustworthy SWM for a good, honest, open relationship. I smoker, so another smoker is preferred. Grovetown. ☎111411 COMPANIONSHIP DWF, 48, enjoys antiquing, travel, dining out, movies and more. Seeking DWM, 48-58, for loving, tender relationship. ☎732056 ARE YOU THE ONE? College educated SWF, early 40s, 5’6”, 136lbs, extroverted, enjoys camping, country living, animals, movies, traveling. Seeking same in SWM, 40-50, similar interests. ☎965910 BE HONEST SF, 60, enjoys good conversations, going to Church, yard sales, music. Seeking SM, 50-70, N/S, likes to go to Church. ☎965856 STILL SEARCHING SWF, 47, 5’8”, 148lbs, Sagittarius, smoker, interests vary, seeks SWM, 37-48, for LTR. ☎342017 A LOT TO OFFER SWPF, 39, 5’2”, 155lbs, loves, sports, dining out, cooking, movies, walks in the park, playing pool, travel, dining out. Seeking young man, with similar interests, for friendship and companionship. ☎321666 GOD IS OUR SAVIOR SWF, 50, Sagittarius, N/S, loves Christian music, Christian tv, and reading the Bible. Seeking BCM, 50-55, N/S, who sees things the same as I do. ☎299661

TO THE POINT DWF, 37, administrative assistant, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WM, 29-49, N/S, occasional drinker ok, honest, for dating. ☎299335 HOPELESS ROMANTIC SBF, 25, no children, very independent, Leo, N/S, seeks BM, 26-40, N/S, with whom to share movies, dancing, and quality time. ☎300467 GET INTO THE GROOVE SWF, 43, 5’4”, 110lbs, slender, active, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys playing frisbee and nature walks. Seeking WM, 37-47, wide shoulders a+. ☎301123 MEET THE CRITERIA? SBF, 32, mother, smoker, seeks considerate male, 35-42, with capability to be understanding and sincere in a relationship. ☎288180 ENVELOPING EMBRACE Kind-hearted SBCF, 52, non-smoker, enjoys dining out, attending church. Seeking loving SBCM, 52-65, with similar interests. ☎287845 FALL IN LOVE AGAIN SF, 46, dark complexion, cosmetologist, seeks caring, sensitive, employed man, 46-56, for long walks, cuddling, and more. ☎284967 FIRST TIME AD! Employed SBF, 35, no children, wants to meet a laid-back, spontaneous man, 33-41, race unimportant, to get to know as a friend and maybe progress to more! ☎280007 OLD-FASHIONED GIRL SWF, 34, attractive, blonde, with good morals and values, Leo, N/S, enjoys nature, cooking, animals, movies, and home life. Desiring marriage-minded, family-oriented WM, 32-45. ☎261032 SEEKING DEDICATED PERSON SWF, late-30s, blonde/blue, is dedicated and looking for the same in a man, for friendship first, possibly more. ☎251283 LEO SBF, 31, wants to share quality time with a man who loves movies, dining out, quiet times, for friendship. ☎202217 GIVE ME A JINGLE SBF, 46, is loving, kind and sweet, mature at every beat, can weave anything and loves to sing. Want to sing with her? ☎200842 TABLE FOR TWO SWF, 57, 5’4”, blond/green, easygoing, outgoing, enjoys cooking, fishing, reading, NASCAR. Seeking honest, respectful S/DWM, 57-65. ☎965851 BE MY FRIEND Attractive SWF, 29, 5’7”, 129lbs, brown/brown, N/S, no kids, never married, seeks SWM, 2037, in shape, friendship first, possible LTR. ☎945103 HONESTY IS KEY DWF, 38, mother of two/homemaker, loves Bon Jovi, dining out, quiet time at home. Seeking honest, sincere SWM, 38-45. Could it be you? ☎910404 TRUE: One is a lonely number. DWF, no children, selfsupporting, my physical appearance won’t embarrass you, retired and seeking a loving, truthful, reliable man, 50-75. ☎896701 SWEET AND SINGLE SBF, 30, Scorpio, N/S, student, enjoys quality time, movies, dining out, quiet times. Seeking friendship with SBM, 29-43, for possible LTR. ☎890152 TIRED OF BEING ALONE SWF, 49, 5’9”, 164lbs, Cancer, N/S, social drinker, mother of one, enjoys music, dining out, reading. Seeking SWM, 44-59, N/S, for LTR. ☎890570 SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE SBCF, 50, 165lbs, Scorpio, N/S, church-goer, mother of one, seeks outgoing, christian SBM, 50-60, N/S, with good heart, who is serious, for LTR. ☎885036

GOOD GIRL Attractive SWF, 38, 5’4”, 145lbs, blonde/hazel, N/S, Pisces, enjoys outdoors. Seeking tall SWM, 30-42. ☎864247 BEACH BUM SBF, 31, with bachelor’s degree in communications, Taurus, N/S, loves dining out, movies, working out, and reading. Seeking man, 26-36. ☎869451 SINCERE BEAUTY Sophisticated SBCF, 23, 5’2”, 140lbs, interested in seeking educated, independent, employed SBM, 23-30, long walks, stimulating conversation, friendship, dating, more. ☎849311 GENUINE GEMINI Sweet SWF, 21, 6’, in medical field, enjoys Nascar, long walks. Seeking tall SWM, 25-35, with similar interests. Friendship first, possible LTR. ☎848654 OLD-FASHIONED VALUES Honest, relaxed, christian SBF, 56, Aries, N/S, enjoys cooking, dining out, quiet times at home. Seeking marriage-minded, financially secure SBM, 50-56, N/S, for LTR. ☎829149 GOD LOVER Athletic, shy SBF, 33, 5’5”, 160lbs, Gemini, smoker, enjoys church, dining out, cooking, traveling, shopping, reading. Seeking outgoing man, 35-50, smoker, for LTR. ☎709843 NO GAMES PLEASE DWF, 33, 5’10”, full-figured, brown/hazel, selfemployed mother of three, seeks WM, 25-45, honest, faithful, devoted, for fun, friendship, LTR. ☎680330 TWO PIECES OF A PUZZLE Full-figured, very attractive, independent woman, 31, 5’2”, seeks someone special to spend time with. You: honest, fun-loving, varied interests. ☎685405 STRONG WILL SBF, 45, outgoing, attractive, youthful, enjoys writing, music, traveling. Seeking mature, strong-willed SBM, 35-48, for friendship. ☎965893 AN AUTUMN SPECIAL Hard-working WF, 38, 5’4”, 100lbs, blonde/brown, enjoys biking, watersports, cooking, and travel. Seeking WM, 35-50, for possible LTR. ☎965904

We Purchase Fine Swiss Watches, Estate Jewelry and Diamonds.

Monday-Saturday 10am-9pm 2635 Washington Road | Augusta, Georgia 30904 | 706.738.7777 www.windsorjewelers.net MAKE MY HEART LAUGH SBF, 22, 5’8”, 155lbs, part-time student, seeks sensual, kind man with a great heart, for movies, dining out, and open-minded conversation. ☎565120 Men Seeking Women

LOOK ME UP Well-educated, professional SWM, 45, no children, never married, enjoys boating, fishing, camping and exploring life. Seeking SF, with similar interests, for fun and friendship. ☎898023 SEEKING FOR LOVE Independent, attractive SBM, 28, Leo, non smoker, likes dining, movies. Seeking woman, 18-40, to have a good time, for casual friendship. Race open ☎365633 LET’S CHAT SWM, 53, Scorpio, N/S, college-educated, easygoing, enjoys travel and beaches. Seeking friendship, possible LTR with a WF, 45-55, N/S. ☎358466

GOOD-HEARTED DWF, 61, 5’9”, honest, neat in appearance, with a good sense of humor. Seeking WM, 6070, who’s honest and caring. ☎574264

WORTH THE CALL Attractive SAM, 37, Pisces, non smoker, seeks woman, 18-45, non smoker, for dating and fun times. ☎349386

SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED SF, 33, 5’, full-figured, cocoa complexion, looking for friendship leading to relationship with SM, 25-40, who doesn’t play games. ☎579505

KEEP IT SIMPLE SWM, 45, carpenter, enjoys travel, sports, fishing, dancing, music, playing cards. Seeking SF, who enjoys the same. ☎343229

SEEKING BBW SWM, 41, 6’, black/green, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, dancing, quiet times. Seeking queen-size female, with a heart to match, for love and romance. ☎325398 EARLY RETIREMENT SM, 63, works part time, deep sense of spiritual conviction, loves the Bible, fellowship, life. Searching for similar woman, 45-56. ☎279329 THE PERFECT MATE DBM, 40, 6’, 195lbs, with 1 child, Capricorn, smoker, homeowner, loves gardening, cooking, and hunting. Seeking WF, 28-42, petite, to bedazzling. ☎873556 LOOKING FOR LOVE Loving, passionate SWM, 50, Pisces, non smoker, seeks WF, 35-50, to date and more. Friends, leading to LTR. ☎353217 TAKE ME AS I AM SWM, 31, 5’6”, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, enjoys movies, and more. Seeking SWF, 25-35, N/S, N/D, who enjoys good times, dating, for LTR. ☎341418 COMPATIBLE WOMAN WANTED DWM, 46, 5’9”, N/S, slim build, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys old cars, boating, classic rock, horror movies, mountains, beach. Seeking SWF, 3846, N/S, for LTR. ☎341454 MAY GOD BE WITH US Christian with deep spiritual convictions. DWM, 61 years young, 5’11”, 155lbs, full head of saltand-pepper hair. Seeking S/DWCF, 45-60, N/S, N/D, attractive, feminine, slender, good health, self-supporting. Must exercise four times weekly, do four military push-ups and carry your own backpack five miles to keep up with me physically. Enjoys outdoor activities such as rafting, hiking, swimming and canoeing. I’m willing to participate in your interests also. Waiting to hear from you. ☎327909

Stud Finder YOU HAVE 6 NEW MATCHES

1 7

Mobile Dating. The easiest way to meet great people.

GUIDELINES: DATE MAKER ads are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses. First meetings should occur in a public place. Abbreviations are permitted only to indicate gender preference, race, and religion. We suggest your ad contain a self-description, age range, lifestyle and avocations. Ads and voice messages containing explicit sexual language will not be accepted. This publication reserves the right to revise copy containing objectionable phrases; to reject in its sole discretion, any advertisement on account of its text. This publication assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any DATE MAKER ad. The advertiser assumes complete liability for the content and all replies to any advertisement or recorded message and for any claims made against this publication and its agents as a result thereof. The advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold this publication, its employees and its agents harmless from all costs, expenses (including reasonable attorney fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by the publication or recording placed by the advertiser or any reply to any such advertisement. By using DATE MAKER, the advertiser agrees not to leave his/her phone number, last name or address in his/her voice greeting. Not all boxes contain a voice greeting.

ABBREVIATIONS

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M B D F H C LTR

Male Black Divorced Female Hispanic Christian Long-term Relationship

G W A S J P N/D N/S

Gay White Asian Single Jewish Professional Non-Drinker Non-smoker

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To respond to ads using a KNOCK-KNOCK, WHO’S THERE? Call me and find out. SWM, 34, Cancer, N/S, loves to tell jokes. Seeking WF, 25-39, N/S, for friendship and relationships. ☎775609 SEEKING TRUE LOVE Handsome SBM, 39, compassionate, financially secure, seeks romantic, attractive, compassionate BF, 21-45, for romantic dinners, movies, walks along the beach, true friendship, LTR. You won’t be disappointed. ☎920361 SAY YOU, SAY ME SWM, 25, 5’10”, 165lbs, medium build, brown/blue, Gemini, N/S, outgoing, energetic, seeks WF, 19-28, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎302503 YOU SUPPLY... the marshmallows. I’ll supply the bonfire, SWM, 36, truck driver, Aries, N/S, loves camping. Seeking a woman, 40-58. ☎316730 JUST YOUR AVERAGE GUY SWM, 37, N/S, likes motorcycles, fishing, camping, farming, relaxing weekends. Seeking SWF, 25-40, to join me on life’s journey. ☎287476 WOULD YOU BE MY GIRL? Light-skinned SBM, 20, 5’8”, short/brown, likes going to movies and more. Seeking single lady, 18-30, who’d like to be my girl. ☎275833 ENJOY LIFE WITH ME! SM, 52, wants to meet a fun-loving woman, 3548, who is easy to get along with, likes sports, music, and more. ☎282853 MY DREAM GIRL SM, 29, 5’8’’, likes basketball. Looking for a female, 25-40, who enjoys going out and having a nice time! ☎274284 LET’S FALL IN LOVE SM, 25, enjoys travel, movies, writing. Looking for a good woman, 25-42, who shares some of these interests. ☎281603 LET’S DO LUNCH SBM, 28, Leo, homeowner, entrepreneur, attractive, seeks friendship with average, every day woman, 20-40. Have your heart talk to mine. ☎270867 SOCCER LOVER SHM, 21, 190lbs, loves to play soccer. Seeking a woman with a good personality. ☎250070 TRUE FRIENDSHIP Handsome SBM, 40, with a compassionate nature, seeks a S/DBF, 43-50, with the same qualities for a passionate relationship. ☎200917 CHEF/PIANIST 6’, 190lbs, brown/blue, handsome, amateur psychologist, nice car, time off to travel, will send photo. Seeks pretty female companion, 26-39, no kids, light smoker/drinker okay. ☎882215 MY DEMANDS ARE SIMPLE SBM, 34, seeks a relationship with a faithful and honest BF, 28-39, smoker, for an honest relationship. ☎949160 IT TAKES TWO SBM, 33, Gemini, N/S, enjoys art, jazz, classical music, hiphop. Seeking SBF, 23-43, for shared interests in music, life, and happiness. ☎941377 IF YOU’RE READING THIS... why not give me a call? SWCM, 19, 6’, 185lbs, brown/blue, relaxed attitude, Capricorn, N/S, seeks WF, 19-25, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎938173 LET’S MAKE A CONNECTION Laid-back, easygoing, employed SBM, 48, seeks similar SB/WF, 30-60, into music, dining out, spending quality time together. There’s no need to be lonely! ☎919786 MY DREAM LADY... is a spontaneous woman with a serious mind and who knows what she wants in life. SBM, 42, believes dreams can come true. ☎907741 MATURE WOMAN WANTED Hardworking DM, 48, brown/green, looking for S/DF, who’s independent, spontaneous, openminded and mature, D/D-free, who knows what she wants in life, for friendship and maybe romance. ☎898762 FUN FOR ALL SWM, 50, seeks intelligent, aware SF, in shape, for indoor and outdoor fun. Looking for a friendship, that may lead to more. ☎902103

PHONE CALL AWAY Self-employed SWM, 40, Pisces, N/S, N/D, enjoys dining out, movies, cooking in, many activities. Seeking similar SWF, 28-45, N/S, to share good times with. ☎882776 IN NEED OF LOVE, SERIOUS SWM, 44, 6’, never married, blond/blue, Aries, smoker, seeks honest, romantic SWF, 25-38, enjoys sports, country walks, and more, for LTR, marriage. ☎889184 LET’S GET IN TOUCH! SWM, 20, Cancer, smoker, enjoys fishing, hunting, walking, playing games. Seeking older woman, 30-60, for possible relationship. ☎888111 NOT JUST ANOTHER... stud. DBM, 33, with 3 children, Libra, N/S, seeks a lucky lady, 25-45, N/S, with whom to share quality time. ☎868350 DON’T MISS THIS! SBM, 45, 5’10’’, 230lbs, interested in sports, jazz, movies, dining out. Would like to meet a woman with the same interests. ☎862898 LET’S HOOK UP 34-year-old SBM, 5’9”, 180lbs, Aquarius, nurse, bald head, new to area, open-minded, fun-loving, hopeless romantic. Seeking woman who loves to be romanced. ☎849401 EARLY XMAS GIFT Very romantic SBM, 31, 6’1”, 255lbs, Scorpio, N/S, enjoys church, dining out, cooking. Seeking stable SBF, 25-35, for friendship first, leading to something long-term. ☎837718 SEEKING CHRISTIAN WOMAN Friendly, committed, independent SBCM, 42, 5’11”, enjoys quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, committed, independent SBCF for friendship, possible LTR. ☎796760 Men Seeking Men

SEEKING THE REAL THING BM, 32, 5’8”, 200lbs, enjoys reading, cooking, dining out, movies, spending quality time at home. Seeking WM, 25-35, who has similar interests, and wants a long-term, monogamous relationship. ☎389698 LOOKING FOR LOVE GWM, 41, 5’8’, 140lbs, Pisces, enjoys fishing, television, wood working, gardening, arts, crafts. Seeking GWM, 25-45, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎705204 100% LAID-BACK SBM, 35, 5’11”, brown skin, dark brown eyes, Virgo, smoker, bookworm, loves tv. Seeking masculine, spontaneous BM, 30-45, smoker. ☎958192 YOU NEVER KNOW Fun-loving, easygoing GWM, 51, 5’11”, 198lbs, enjoys cooking, movies, fishing, walking. Seeking interesting GWM, 18-33, who’s full of life, for casual relationship, possibly more. ☎676662 ADVENTURE AWAY Fun, GWM, 46, Virgo, N/S, seeks masculine H/ WM, 25-50, blue collar type, for friendship, dating, possibly more. ☎354941 NICE PERSONALITY A MUST SM, 29, 5’7’’, moustache and goatee, seeks down-to-earth, nice, masculine, real man, 2730, for friends, possible LTR. ☎280741 LET’S GET CRAZY SWM, 35, 6’1”, with green eyes, is in search of a man to get together with, and share good times. ☎384239 LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP Senior SWM seeks sincere, honest SWM, 2545, to share home and lifestyle. Many interests including gardening, cooking, arts and crafts, travel, camping. ☎294303 ENJOYS ALL THAT LIFE HAS GWM, 40, shaved head, goatee, Pisces, smoker, seeks very special, attractive, strong, fun-loving GBM, 30-50, for dating, possible LTR. ☎257126

How do you

NASCAR FAN SWM, 38, 6’1”, 190lbs, brown/green, is goodlooking and masculine. Seeking a man who is also masculine and enjoys going for drinks and RVing. ☎250111 WHAT’S HAPPENING? SWM, 30, 5’7”, 200lbs, brown/blue, Aries, N/S, seeks BM, 19-35, N/S, outgoing, for friendship first, possible LTR. ☎958402 YOU CAN MAKE MY DAY Male, 60, Cancer, N/S, seeks a WM, 49-65, N/S, for casual relationship. Why not call me? ☎927707 DOESN’T PLAY GAMES Unattached GBM, 41, interested in meeting open-minded, fun-loving, honest, truthful, compassionate and loyal GM for LTR. ☎920995 DARK CHOCOLATE SBM, 23, with a dark complexion, wants to go out and have good times with a great guy. ☎917508 CALL ME... you will not be disappointed. SM, 35, Indian, 5’9”, seeks the same. Let’s get together. ☎916175 COOL WORLD SBM, 22, loves bowling, football, chess. In search of a man who loves the same things. ☎907631 BE YOURSELF Honest, caring SM, 47, 5’10”, 220lbs, seeks outgoing, ambitious, down-to-earth man, to share friendship, fun times and maybe more. ☎895468 LET’S JUST CUDDLE Lonely GWM, 33, Aries, smoker, enjoys quiet nights, relaxing, being with somebody. Seeking GWM, 20-30, for possible LTR. ☎887748 NEW TO THIS BiWM, 49, 5’10”, thick, black/blue, Libra, N/S, seeks friendly, fun-loving GWM, 35-65, N/S, for possible LTR. ☎839145 IT’S YOUR CALL GWM, young 46, 5’11”, 200lbs, brown/brown, masculine, outgoing, enjoys travel, dining out, movies, shopping, Nascar. Would like to meet honest, passionate GM, with similar interests, for dating, possible LTR. Serious inquiries only. ☎792384 I KNOW WHERE IT’S AT SBM, 25, practical yet fun, outgoing, Aquarius, smoker, seeks a masculine, alluring, wellrounded BM, 23-45, smoker, with his priorities in order. ☎695448 BEYOND SWM, 32, 5’11”, 155lbs, light hair, looking for good time with GM, 18-45, ☎966003

,call 1-866-832-4685

Women Seeking Women

LOVES CHILDREN Easygoing, nice SF, 32, looking for someone with the same qualities, 29-39, and a people person. ☎388943 WASTE NO TIME GBF, 36, enjoys dining out, cooking, dining out. Seeking attractive, open-minded, fun, nice GF, 25-45, for friendship and possibly more. ☎965823 ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES SBF, 30, 5’5”, with brown eyes, seeks a woman, 30-36, to hang out with, get to know, and see where it goes. ☎380595 OPEN-MINDED CHIC Broken-hearted GWF, 30, Libra, smoker, seeks woman, 20-45, to mend my heart. Let’s not be afraid of who we are. ☎370110 YOUNG AT HEART Active GWF, 62, 5’5”, 122lbs, brown hair, enjoys camping, fishing, meeting new people, dining out, short trips. Seeking plus-sized GWF, 45-65, for friendship first. No games. ☎292839 “EVERYONE’S BEST FRIEND” GWF, 26, 5’6”, medium build, likes watching movies, bowling, hanging out, malls, phone conversations. Seeking fun-loving, seriousminded GWF, 22-35, medium build, for friendship and possibly more. ☎335046 WELL-ROUNDED GWPF, 24, 4’11”, brown/brown, loves animals, movies, dancing, travel, dining out, sports, conversation. Seeking GF, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329740 BEAUTIFUL AND FEMININE GWF, 32, 5’7”, 135lbs, enjoys reading, movies, dining out, travel, sports, music, movies. Seeking GWF, 25-39, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. ☎329063 A REFRESHING CHANGE SWF, 30, Libra, smoker, is hoping to find it in a woman, 25-45. Will show a lot of a affection. ☎307177 AVID READER Quiet SF, 24, part-time student, into all types of music, especially oldies, pets, writing poetry. Seeking a female, 24-40, with same interests. ☎283861

BUILDING A FUTURE Hard-working, mechanically inclined SBF, 46, loves to build and rebuild. Seeing female who prefers the home life and knows what she wants from life. ☎120569 LOOKING FOR LOVE SBF, 32, 140lbs, 5’8”, down-to-earth, likes clubs, movies, and quiet times. Looking for a female, 30-35, with the same interests. If you’re the one, call me. Aiken, South Carolina. ☎113533 LIKE MALLS & MOVIES? Feminine BiBF, 25, 5’4”, 145lbs, short hair, Sagittarius, smoker, loves movies and tv. Seeking another feminine woman, 18-30, with whom to hang out and chat. ☎958642 OUTGOING FUN WF, 28... 5’3”, medium build, loves movies, putt-putt golf, and bowling. Seeking WF, 25-40, medium build, for fun and friendship. Hope to hear from you soon. ☎958847 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS GBF, 31, 5’6”, brown/brown, Cancer, smoker, enjoys kids, bowling. Seeking open-minded, passionate, understanding GBF, 23-45, for LTR. ☎941850 NO INTRO NEEDED SWF, 39, 5’7”, 145lbs, homeowner, easygoing, selfless, Taurus, smoker, loves movies and bowling. Seeking WF, 35-49, with comparable interests. ☎935299 I WON’T LET YOU DOWN Single GBF, 32, mother, non-smoker, looking to become acquainted with a laid-back, sensual GBF, who enjoys quiet times, movies. Interested? ☎910581 FRIENDSHIP SBF, 38, 5’7”, slim, fit, seeks SF, for friendship and fun. Must be outgoing, love to wine and dine, travel, movies and theater. ☎878217 CHURCH-GOER SBF, 38, Virgo, N/S, heavy-duty equipment operator, seeks BF, 30-45. Enjoys motorcycle riding, playing bass guitar. ☎799776 A GOOD HEART SF, 39, goes to church, works for a living, likes having fun, going on trips. Seeking a similar female, 37-49. ☎780112 SPECIAL FRIENDSHIP Attractive, feminine SWF, 41, 5’4”, seeks a very open-minded WF, 35-48, for fun and exciting times. ☎775074 JOIN ME GBF, 32, nurse, part-time student, Capricorn, N/S, enjoys bowling, movies, shopping, traveling. Seeking casual relationship with woman, 25-45. ☎711628 GIVE ME A RING Cute SBF, 30-something, seeks attractive SF, 25-45, for friendship, maybe more. No games. ☎965825

Snowshoe Hare: Male hares called 'bucks' fight each other with their hind legs for the right to mate with female hares called 'does'. This often results in serious wounds, and sometimes death.

(Lepus americanus)

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■ Automotive Spirit

Free Automotive Ads Brought to you by The Metropolitan Spirit Cars 1973 FORD MUSTANG, yellow gold, 302, brown interior, 168K, sensibly driven, garaged last 7 yrs, nice ride, $3950, 706-7386421 (1041/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1978 CHEVY MONTE Carlo, one owner, 305 engine, runs good, body good, 89K actual miles, $2000 OBO, 706-736-8266 (1072/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1982 CADILLAC EL DORADO, green, very clean, one owner, 2dr, auto, many new parts, including transmission & alternator, $1500 OBO, 706-860-6409 (1042/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1986 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS Supreme, metallic gray, 2dr, excellent condition, $3500 OBO, 803-593-9874 leave message (1056/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 BMW 525i, gray, automatic, power everything, CD, 195K, nice, just needs driveshaft work, $1200, 706-855-1639 (1080/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 CHEVY CAMERO, red, great body, t-tops, needs paint and motor, $350, call Candice 706-627-6475 (1060/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1988 HONDA PRELUDE, 5spd, CD, good condition, $950 OBO, 706-738-3167 leave message (1076/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 CADILLAC SEVILLE, blue, 4dr, leather, nice car, 706-5566124 (1068/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1989 TOYOTA COROLLA Station wagon, red, good condition, 5spd, 170K, AC needs

work, $1600, 706-228-2854, leave message (1064/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1990 CHEVROLET CORSICA LT, blue, runs great, cold AC, fair condition, 130K $1300 OBO, 706-823-4205 (1078/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 DODGE NEON, white/primer grey, 4dr, runs, am/fm, cassette, AC, tilt, $1800, call 706-399-6737, leave message or jturner003@comcast.net (1044/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 MERCURY GRAND Marquis LS, 92K, leather, clean, all power, cruise, wire wheels, $5000, 706-730-2697 (1058/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 TOYOTA COROLLA DX, auto, 4dr, 140K (mostly highway), good condition, AC, power locks & windows, am, fm, CD, perfect car for new drivers. 706-8699328 (1063/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 CHEVROLET CAMERO, 41K, factory purple, 5spd, 6 cyl, AC, FM, cassette, immaculate, one owner, $6200 OBO, 706868-0090 (1057/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 PONTIAC GRAND Prix GTP, white, rear spoiler, tint windows, 3.4L, V6 high output, 4spd auto w/OD, well cared for, 129K, $6500, Jim 706-721-3365 days or 706-547-7878 eve. (1039/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 TOYOTA COROLLA DX, gold, 79K, AC, am/fm, cassette, $3500, call 706-231-5430 or 706-267-6350 (932/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 ACURA 3.2TL, Premium, loaded, great ride, new tires, remote keyless entry, power locks & windows, AC, climate control system, Bose radio/cas-

sette/CD, remote sunroof, $10,900, 803-279-8326 (993/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 CHEVY CAVALIER RS, loaded, touring wheels, CD player, ideal graduation gift, $5000, 706-860-7336 (1062/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD MUSTANG, auto, 6cyl, spoiler, sports package, premium sound system, PW, PL, electric seats, CD, 83K, $7500 OBO, 706-737-9732 (1048/0501) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 TOYOTA COROLLA, 86K, 5spd, AC, am/fm, CD, great student car, $5500 OBO, 706-7904396 or 706-373-6073 (1031/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE GS, white, 2dr, 5spd, 72K, $7200, 803-642-8323 (1035/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 LINCOLN CONTINENTAL, opal, 60K, warranty, like new, garaged, new tires, leather, moon roof, phone, 6 CD changer, blue book $14K, asking $13,000, 706-863-9152 (1061/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA ACCORD LX, loaded, 72K, dependable, $9600, 706-793-1563 (1071/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA CIVIC EX, loaded, 49.5K, $10,900, 706-556-0892 (1073/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 HONDA S-2000, silver/red, convertible, 39K, every available option, garage kept, fast, great brakes, precision shifting, $21,000, 803-643-0846 (1046/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 CHRYSLER PT Cruiser Limited, beautiful parrot blue, auto, CD, air, all power and

options, 30K, $14,995, 803-2793385 (1037/0417)

Motorcycles 2002 HONDA SHADOW 1100, low miles, black with extra chrome, new condition, $6800, 706-560-2025 or 706-627-3070 (1036/0417)

Other 1995 SEARAY 200, Signature Bow Rider, 250 running hours on a 5.7ltr V8, was $26,000 new, asking $14,000 firm, has all the bells and whistles including tandem trailer, 706-829-8002 (1067/0508)

SUVs 1993 CHEVY BLAZER, S-10 Tahoe, 2dr, 5spd, 130K, good condition inside and out, runs good, new brakes, $2500, 706364-9193 (1047/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 ISUZU TROOPER, Limited edition, loaded, leather, sunroof, CD, full towing package, high mileage, highway miles, $3950, 803-510-3116 (1033/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1995 NISSAN PATHFINDER XE, 4WD, 5spd, sunroof, am, fm, CD, alloy wheels, new tires, hoses, belts & wipers, excellent condition, $6995, 706-829-8002 (1065/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 FORD EXPEDITION, 1/2 ton, V8, 4WD, rear air, leather, extended warranty, tow package, 3rd seat, alloy wheels, CD, 706829-8002 (1066/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 JEEP CHEROKEE, air, PL,

PW, CD & tape deck, 50K, very good condition, $13,500, 706860-6471 (1028/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1997 NISSAN PATHFINDER, Luxury Edition, auto, 4X4, leather, CD, power everything, 78K, $11,500, 706-868-6344 (1074/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 FORD EXPEDITION, green, tan interior, 2WD, leather, 6 CD changer, 3rd seat, rear air, excellent condition, $16,300, 706-284-4592 or 706-854-9194 (1077/0515)

Trucks 1984 CHEVY WRECKER, $8500, financing available, Jimmy Davison, 706-738-0911 or 706597-0096 (1069/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1987 TOYOTA PICKUP, 4 cyl, runs well, needs body work, $400 or make offer, 706-7988141 (1030/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 CHEVROLET S-10, red, 4.3liter vortec engine, auto, air, extended cab, new tires, mags, great condition, $3400, 706-5569704 (1032/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 NISSAN U.D. Rollback, $18,500, financing available, Jimmy Davison, 706-738-0911 or 706-597-0096 (1070/0515) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1996 TOYOTA TACOMA LX, SR5, x-cab, 4X4, V6, 5spd, AC, towing, liner, alloy wheels, Pioneer stereo, 10 disc changer, amp, upg, speakers, 7K, $10,500 OBO, call 706-3641769 or 706-951-6294 (1059/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 TOYOTA TACOMA, standard cab, 4WD, 115K, 5spd,

CHECK US OUT ONLINE WWW.METSPIRIT.COM

very good condition, 803-6373510 (1045/0424) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 TOYOTA TACOMA, auto, AC, FM, Cassette, 50K, great truck, $8000 OBO, 706-5132585 (1055/0508) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2000 FORD F150, Harley Davidson extended cab, 13K, black with black Harley leather, like new, extended warranty, $23,000, 706-836-6703 (1034/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 2001 DODGE RAM Pickup 1500, Magnum, V8, 5.9litr, auto, AC, 17K, $13,500, 706-5410656 (1075/0515)

Vans 1990 CHEVY ASTRO, 7 seater, all window, 110K, loaded, excellent condition, $3450, 706-5410656 (888/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1993 FORD AEROSTAR, black, power windows & locks, 111K, hitch, air, tape deck, $2500 OBO, 706-731-0033 or 706-731-9689 (1038/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1994 DODGE GRAND Caravan SE, dark green, power everything, rear & front AC, Quad seating, 175K, $3000, 706-869-1920 (1004/0501) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1998 TOYOTA SIENNA XLE, leather, sunroof, excellent condition, 86K, payoff $15,800, take $13,800, 706-796-4097 or 706860-2629 (1029/0417) –––––––––––––––––––––––––– 1999 CHRYSLER TOWN, & Country LX, minivan, premium sound, runs well, have maintenance records, 115K, below bluebook at $5000, 706-6519993 (1049/0501)

FREE AUTO CLASSIFIEDS

* Automobiles for sale by an individual may be placed in our FREE Auto Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for six weeks or until the vehicle sells, whichever comes first. After two weeks, if you want to keep running the same ad, you must call The Metropolitan Spirit by 5 p.m. on Friday or we will assume you sold the vehicle and will delete the ad. All vehicles must indicate price. FREE Auto Classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies or dealers. TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM. ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE.

GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

GUARANTEED CLASSIFIEDS

* Items for sale by an individual may be placed in our Guaranteed Classifieds. The same ad will run continuously for ten weeks or until the item sells, whichever comes first. You must call by 5PM on Friday every two weeks to renew the ad or The Metropolitan Spirit will assume the item has been sold and will delete the ad. There is a $5 reinstatement fee if you forget to renew your ad. All items must indicate price. Guaranteed classified ads are offered to individuals only and are not offered to commercial companies. Guaranteed Classified ads do not include any automotive vehicles, real estate or pets. TO PLACE YOUR AD: Mail: P.O. Box 3809, Augusta, GA 30914-3809 Email: classified@metspirit.com Fax: 706-733-6663 ADS ARE NOT TAKEN BY PHONE Website: www.metspirit.com Visit Us At: 825 Russell Street, Augusta, GA MUST BE MAILED, FAXED OR EMAILED ON SPECIFIED FORM.

RATES: FREE ADS Merchandise Under $250 $8 ADS Merchandise $251 to $500 $15 ADS Merchandise $501 to $1000 $20 ADS Merchandise over $1000 20 Words or Less - No Exceptions. ADS MUST BE PREPAID DEADLINES: In person - Monday at 3PM By mail, fax or email - Friday at 4PM

PAYMENT OPTIONS: (ADS MUST BE PREPAID) Cash-Money Order-Check

AD PLACEMENT FORM:

Name_________________________________________________________________________ Daytime Phone_________________________________________________________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________

Name_______________________________________Daytime Phone_____________________ Address______________________________________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Payment ❑ Cash ❑ Check ❑ Money Order ❑ Visa ❑ MC Card No./Exp. Date_____________________________________________________________ Billing Address (if different from above)_____________________________________________ City______________________________________________State________Zip_____________ Ad Copy 20 words or less________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ GENERAL POLICIES: The Metropolitan Spirit reserves the right to reject, revise, alter, or reclassify any classified advertisement. Please check your ad for errors the first week the ad is published. The Metropolitan Spirit is not responsible for any errors which appear after the first week the ad is inserted.

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51 M E T R O S P I R I T A P R 1 7 2 0 0 3

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