Volume 17, Issue 5 - Sept. 16, 1994

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Volume 17 Issue 5 September 16, 1994

ll t• t r o 1• o Ii ta 11 St at t• f o 11 t•;: t• o i' It t• 11 ' t• r St 11 d t• n t '_." s 11a11 t• r st• 1• , . i 11;: t It t• .\ 11 r a r i a fa 1111111 s sin t• t• I !) 7 !)

Ross Perot takes on big governIDent, President Clinton J

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"Washington, r_ ead my lips: sick and tired of you lying to the American people."

The Metropolffan/Andy Cross

Accident prompts review Christopher Anderson Staff Writer The possibility of overpasses and underpasses crossing Speer Boulevard on the north side of Auraria Campus is in the hands of the Denver Public Works Department.

However, support from the Auraria Higher Education Center is needed.

"I have asked Public Works to look into the possibility of some kind of pedestrian walkway across Speer," Mayor Wellington Webb said. "Some people have mentioned overpasses or underpasses."

Webb said he has assigned the. task to Richard Brasher, executive deputy manager of the Denver Public Works Department.

Denver City Council President Deborah Ortega will

From All Walks of Life.

also be asking Public Works to come up with a solution.

Ortega said she will draft a letter to the department, asking them to look into the pedestrian safety concerns and whether or not the city will support some kind of pedestrian crossing - underground or overground.

Funding will ultimately decide the fate of the pedestrian crossways, Ortega said.

"We can all look at this issue, but the key is whether there is going to be money in the Public Works budget that can be earmarked for this, and whether Auraria Higher Education is willing to put some money on the table as well," Ortega said.

Brasher also recognized problems with funding.

"We can put a man on the moon, but do we want to pay for it?" Brasher said.

AHEC will have to play an active role in getting the

We slammed 'em!

walkways.

Brasher wants to meet with AHEC to discuss reso1utions to the dangers of S p e e r Boulevard.

"I hope we can make this a partnership with the campus," B rasher said.

t/d'l:Oi({Olllflil'-160# th/$ luue~ btit .,,.,. key 11

~IJ!ther thert.! I going to tie money lri the Public

Work1 budget that can be earmarked tor this.'

Deborah Ortega Denver City Councilwoman -

L--------------see SPEER page 3

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The Metropolitan

September 16. 1994

3

Safer pedestrian crossing Student killed subject to limited funds crossing Speer SPEER from page 1

,.,

Briggs Gamblin, spokesman for Webb, said the city would need the support of AHEC for the crossways.

"The Auraria administration would have to convince the city that it was something that was needed," he said. "And then it would have to be part of a future.bond issue, because that would probably be a multi-million dollar project."

Ortega said JoAnn Soker, executive vice-president. of administration for AHEC, is the point person for Auraria.

Soker questions the viability and practicality of an underpass or overpass.

"It's 路anybody's guess whether people would actually use it," she said. "A lot of people feel underpasses aren't safe - they get dark, they get spooky. If you got it at Lawrence, that doesn't handle people crossing at Larimer, or crossing at Curtis," she said.

There were talks of pedestrian overpasses 10-12 years ago, Soker said.

"My recollection is that it was both too expensive and too ugly," she said.

Brasher acknowledged the problem of how many crossways are needed and where they should go.

He said he will start by studying Auraria's pedestrian traffic patterns to determine where a crossway belongs. He said it's likely more than one will be needed.

Brasher also said there are plans being made to replace the bridge at Speer and Colfax Avenue, and that would be the appropriate tim,e to improve a pedestrian crossing for that area.

Dean Wolf, vice-president. of operations for AHEC, suggested another approach.

"Obviously there is concern ab路.o.u t students crossing Speer," he said. "I think !Qe. ultimate solution is to gc;t all the campus functions on.this side of Speer."

However, funding from the Colorado General Assembly has not been forthcoming, by said.

Ortega said she is familiar with the problem of Speer Boulevard because she drives along the boulevard to work, and she has taken classes at Auraria.

"I don't see the city looking at this as a priority - not to say I don't think it's a priority," Ortega said. "I am certainly committed to helping see what kind of solutions we can come up with to deal with the problem."

The danger of traffic surrounding Auraria is part of MSCD's image, MSCD student ~ret Anderson said. Anderson said MSCD has the mascot of the Roadrunner because students have to dart across busy streets to get to classes.

Anderson was a friend of Robin Haggerty, the CCD student who was killed Sept. 8 while trying to cross Speer. He called the incident tragic.

Angie Reese The Metropolitan Details surrounding a CCD student's death Thursday are sketchy.

Police reports say she was jaywalking. Witnesses insist she had the light. But only one fact is certain right now - Roqin Haggerty is dead.

Haggerty, the mother of a 2-year-old girl, died last Thursday while returning to the Auraria Campus from her job at the CU-Denver Extended Studies department when she was hit by a car on Speer Boulevard at Lawrence Street.

Haggerty got a job at the Extended Studies department through a temporary agency before she started classes at Auraria.

"We liked her so much we hired her permanently," said Layna Breyare, one of Haggerty's co-workers. "She would go out of her way for

anybody."

The driver, Leone Tibbetts, was charged with careless driving resulting in a fatality, which carries a penalty of 10 days to one year in jail or a $100 to $1,000 fine.

Tibbetts, 87, was driving 30 mph when she hit Haggerty, according to police. She then left the scene 路and called police from home.

"The next thing I saw was a white figure," said Isabella Cerny, who was following Haggerty. "The car just ran over her."

"We heard one scream, but we didn't hear any brakes at all," said MSCD student Amy Woodside. "There was no horn or anything."

- Staff Writer Christopher Anderson contributed to this report.

New review process for student fees Revised system calls for greater involvement of college representatives Kent Lister The Metropolitan The first step toward giving students a say in setting student fees was made Sept. 9.

The State Colleges in Colorado Trustee Finance Committee approved a plan that gives students more involvement in the decision making process regarding student fees. The plan goes

into effect at MSCD, Adams State, Mesa State and Western State colleges in Colorado.

The approval of a student fee plan . for each member college means that student views are now considered whenever new fees, or changes to existing fees, are proposed. Each college will now have student representatives involved in this process.

"It (an institutional plan) was some-

thing that was created by the students that gives them representation within the institutions as well as at the board level," said Alfonso Suazo, MSCD student representative to the Board of Trustees.

The purpose of the plan is to formalize the rules governing changes in student fees at each state college.

In the past the governing boards had certain guidelines as to how 路fees

STUDENT FEES

Student Activities Fee

AHEC Bond

$518,590

$424,528

Fee

Athletic Fee

Health Services Fee

Facility Fee

Information & Technology Fee

Telephone Registration Fee

$303,894

$232, 141

$220,428

$217,044

$67,532

were set, but those policies did not allow student involvement or take into account the differences in institutions.

Students concerns over Suazo a technology fee assessed at the University of Northern Colorado spurred the Colorado Commission on Higher Education to review and revise its student fee and tuition policy in October 1993.

A major problem pointed out by CCHE staff was the lack of student participation in setting the fees.

MSCD students currently pay seven student fees in addition to tuition. The amount varies individually by credit hour percentages.

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The Metropolitan

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September 16, 1994

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Preaching Perot

Late

Donna Hickey The Metropolitan

• •••••••••••••••••••••••• • You won't be late for class much • longer. You won't have to find a • • • • ••••••••••••• •••• place to park. Now, you can go to lunch off campus.

••• ••••••••••••••••••••••••

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: Or go to the bank between classes. Forget the

•••••••••••••••••••••••• •• old hassles, because lightrailisconringto • • ••• • ••••••••••• •• your campus.

•••••••••••••••••••••••• It's the fast, convenient and economical way of getting to and from class.

..

•••••••••••• •• Just hop the train and

• •• • ••

• leave the rest to us.

•••••••••••••••••••••••• You say the dog ate your assignment? • • •••••••••••••••••••••••• •• Sorry.

•• • • Light •••••••••• rail • • can't fix that.

• ••••••••••• • •• ••••••• •• M~ ~-!f~~

...

Ross Perot rocked a crowd of 1,000 Friday night at the Denver Auditorium Theater when he asked the audience if President Clinton would be willing to die in combat for Haiti.

It kicked off his 10-state preelection rally tour.

Perot launched into Clinton's Haiti policy by asking the veterans in the audience to stand. Nearly half of tbe men in the crowd stood up .

Perot asked if there was anyone present who was ready to go fight for the Haitians to have a free democracy. "No!" The Metropolitan/Andy Cross the crowd shouted. One member of the crowd shouted that he would go if he knew Ross Perot Ignites the crowd of that Clinton would lead the charge. about 1,000 at the Sept. 9 rally .

"First commit your nation to a war, twang. then commit your troops to fight a war," "I know how much you love your Perot said, suggesting that a war tax be children and grandchildren. We have got created before sending troops to fight. work to do to make the 21st century the Those who didn't want to go and fight best in our ,country's history for our chilwould pay the war tax, Perot said to dren." applause and cheers.

Perot also denounced the North Perot, the president of United We American Free Trade Agreement.

Stand, reminded the predominantly mid"Washington, read my lips. I am sick and dle-aged, white crowd that they had "one tired of you lying to the American people," thing that is more valuable than what all he said. the special interest money in the United He said that during the first eight States can buy-you have your vote." months after NAFTA, (the United States) Perot said United We Stand is the lost a factory a day because of jobs being swing vote that keeps members of the two sent to Mexico - 30,000 jobs, Perot said. major parties up at night.

But big government will not admit that, he The voters in United We Stand have and will continue to make the best candi- added.

Perot proposed that we stop shipping date win, he said. Perot defined the best jobs overseas and start creating jobs by candidate as the one who serves the peosupporting small businesses. ple, not special interests.

"Small businesses are the heart and "Slow down the rush for big governsoul of our economy. Half of our work ment in 1994. If we commit ourselves to force is employed by small businesses. do it, we can bring it to a grinding halt in Mighty oaks from small labors grow."

1996," Perot said. "Please remember every Near the end of Perot's speech, a man time we pass a law, we give up a piece of in the audienee shouted, "Your comments our freedom."

He said that if the government was will not be seen in the paper tomorrow.

Note the press is on the left," referring to a making shoes it would assume everyone roped-off section for the news media to the had the same size feet. A national crime left of the audience. bill is not going to solve everyone's crime Perot quickly replied, "The media is problems, he added. under heavy, heavy pressure by the estab"Pass Jaws as close to the problem as lishment not to put us on the air. We are you can ... Crime is a local problem," he going to stir things up. We are going to get said . things done a different way."

Perot said big government is not "We must stick together, double up working. and be as selfless as the people in the "We tried it. We tasted it.We don't Salvation Army," Perot said. like it," Perot said in his familiar Texas

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AmeriCorps Beams In It was more like a comedy of errors than the kick-off of a new government program.

President Clinton conducted a swearing in ceremony for volunteers of the new National AmeriCorps Program Sept. 12 at the Auraria Campus Mall.

Beset by technical delays, the Clinton satellite broadcast finally reached the crowd of 100 about an hour behind schedule. Two TV monitors relayed the satellite-fed image to the crowd.

The AmeriCorps Program is designed to offer young Americans an alternative funding source for college. Participants must be U.S. citizens and at least 17 years old. They can earn up to $4,725, but must complete 1,700 hours of service work a year. The program has a $300 million budgeted in the first year and $500 million the second.

Gov. Roy Romer and Mayor Wellington Webb made personal appearances at the event.

September 16, 1994

5

Campus bike theft up David Thompson The Metropolitan During the first week of classes 15 bicycles were reported stolen on the Auraria Campus, making the total number of bikes stolen 36 since April 4. The total for this same time last year was 35.

In response to the problem, Auraria Public Safety held a bicycle security clinic Sept. 8 to show students how to protect themselves against bicycle theft.

Most of the bikes are stole~ because of cheap locks, said APS officer Chris Evenson.

"It doesn't matter if the bike is illegally parked at trees or in the bike racks," he said. "The thief will pass up a more expensive one for one locked with a cheap lock."

The clinic had a small turnout compared with a similar event held this summer. About 50 people attended the fall clinic.

"We are a little disappointed," said Connie Besser, public infonna-

tion officer for APS. "The purpose of the clinic is to show the students how to properly lock their bikes, where to lock them, and to register their bikes."

Some simple steps that can be taken to prevent thefts are: • Park at bike racks in patrolled areas; • Register bikes with Denver police; • Mark the bike to aid in recovery; • Park near other bikes; • Use a good lock.

Since April the number of bikes stolen is "about half and half from the bike racks and other areas," Evenson said.

APS recommends the use of Ushaped locks, such as Kryptonite, because they are the hardest to break.

"No lock is undefeatable with time," Besser said.

APS will be providing a variety of locations equipped with racks adapted to the newer style of bikes,

Besser said during the clinic.

APS encourages people to park in these areas because they will be better guarded.

Some of the students who ride to the Auraria Campus had mixed opinions last week.

"I feel safe so far," said Lynne Parkinson, a UCD student. "I lock up my front tire, I have a seat leash and always lock up at a bike rack."

"I don't feel safe," said Lezlie Kepheart, an MSCD nursing student.

"Last week someone got their bike stolen next to mine .... If I didn't have to ride down hen., I wouldn't."

Since many students ride bikes as their primary means of transportation, campus officials urge them to take precautionary steps to avoid having their bikes stolen.

"We are still getting hammered," Evenson said at the clinic. "We can't do anything unless people want to help themselves."

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Tire Metropolitan

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September 16, 1994

Eat drink ••• and be wary Ed Kraus The Metropolitan Auraria Campus students now have one less test score to deal with - area restaurants no longer receive number grades from the heath department.

The movement to eliminate "grades" began a year and a half ago when representatives from Colorado's local heath departments met with state health officials and decided the numbered scoring system was terminally flawed. The new agenda, Hazardous Analysis of the Critical Control Points, attempts to downplay test scores.

"One of the problems with the scored 'What did I get?' as opposed to what was inspection is that it may or may not accu- wrong and needs to be fixed," he said. rately reflect the condition of the restauThe new system is design to put an rant," said Denver health official John J. emphasis on different areas.

Cohen.

"When we revised the form for the "A restaurant inspection is a snap- no-scoring system, it was opened to comshot in time," he said. "It tells you what ment for all different health departthe restaurant looked like when the ments," said Patti Kloeker, the state's inspector was there. He comes 10 min- program director for retail food. "AU of utes earlier it could be different. He them agreed we needed to emphasize comes 10 minutes later it could be differ- what's wrong and not necessarily the ent." score. They could have everything correct Cohen said that restaurant operators in a food establishment but one thing. For tended to focu~ on scores as opposed to example, they could have their sewage all the problems associated with the scores. over the floor and get a 95 on their "Many are more concerned with inspection."

p R I '.'\ C I PL ES of S 0 L' '.'\ D

RE TI R E .\\ E '.'\ T I ::'\\' EST I '.'\ G

The new approach may change the focus of Denver health inspector Fred Burnett, but it will not alter his sense of duty.

"We get to go behind the door, into the kitchen - that's why we do the best job we can," Burnett said.

"We think the best job now is training people and educating them rather than just going in and writing up violations and giving them a score. Now we're going over each violation, giving the reasons. We're going over the regulations, training people."

All the campus eateries, including those at the Tivoli Student Union, fall under the jurisdiction of the Denver Health Department. Consumer Protection Director Jim Austin said the new forms benefit both operator and consumer.

"What we have on our sheet is the most important or critical items separated from the items that are less important. We need to get to the critical items. If they are violated, we need to get ihose corrected during the inspection," Austin said.

If the violation cannot be fixed on the spot a reinspection is scheduled, usually within a few hours but no more than three to four days later. All restaurants must eventually meet acceptable health standards, including those in older build-

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The Metropolitan

No scores for eateries HEALTH from page 6

I

ings excluded from code requirements under a "grandfather clause."

"There are a lot of buildings that have construction deficiencies. Many of those we will wait until there is a remodel or a change of ownership because things do need to be bro~ght up to code at some Point," Austin said.

If the building violation falls in a critical area, ....... prompt action must be taken, he said. " If there is not an adequate number of hand sinks in the kitchen , we will require that to be fixed. We will not wait:" Austin said. "Up to a fourth of all food-borne disease outbreaks are "' attributed to poor personal hygiene, including hand The Metropolitan/Jane Raley washing."

Food for customers of a Tivoli Student Union restaurant.

sophomore Jenny Hollingworth, 19, said she prefers the scoring system but still relies on common sense and paying attention . Her favorite campus spot is the Mercantile because of the clean surroundings and because the servers wear gloves, she said.

"I try to see if there is a mess around where the food is prepared. I make it a point to look," Hollingworth said.

UCD freshman Tania Conrad, 17, said 'she favored a scoring system where the -results were posted in the restaurant.

"There's not much of a way you can judge just from what it looks like," she said. "You can't really go inside and look at the kitchen, and that 's unfortunate."

UCD student Jennifer Ahrenholtz, 20, and MSCD student Katherine Griego, 19, said their top food considerations are . price and distance - within reason. " If I see bugs crawling around I won't ea~ there," Griego said.

Thde newt in~tphecti.ondproceure me w1 mixe reaction on campus. MSCD

September 16, 1994

7

Public reports not so public If you are determined to see a copy of a Denver restaurant's health inspection, you may want to pack a lunch. It could take 24 hours if the restaurant doesn't feel like showing you.

The reports are public record and may be viewed at the Consumer Protection Office on the northwest corner of Sixth Avenue and Bannock Street.

Before the records are released, an access request form must be completed. Questions on the form include: "What information is needed from file?" "Why is the information needed?" and "Reason for request."

"We need 24 hours previous notice," said Jim Austin, director of the office. " What that does is allow us to go through (the reports) and if there are individual names which are privileged information, we remove them from the

file . " You will have access to them. We'd like to know why "you'd like to have the access. If you have a vendetta against XYZ restaurant, we 'd prefer you go elsewhere. You do have the right to see the records."

Marge Eaton, legislative liaison for the Colorado Press Association, questioned the purpose of the request form.

"I don't like it," she said. "I don' t like anything of that sort. I think that abridges the public's right when they have to say why they are going to do something. Anyone should be able to go in and look at records."

For complaints or inquiries about any campus eatery, call the Consumer Protection Office at 436-7330.

-Ed Kraus

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The Metropolitan

September 16, 1994

''''"MiTROPOLITAN EDITO• Jeff Stratton COPY EDITOR Jeanie Straub NEWS EDITOR Louis A. Landa FEATURES EDITOR Robyn Schwartz SPORTS EDITOR Michael BeDan ASSOCIATE COPY EDITOR Scottie Menlo ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITORS C:laudia Hibbert Jesse Stephenson PHOTO EDITOR Andy C:ross

For the second week in a row, I have had to endure the obvious slanted journalism of The Metropolitan reporting on POOR Mr. Robert Betts, the Edward Abbey wanna-be and brainchild behind the "Kill a Cop for Jesus Day." As an MSCD student and Denver police officer, I take exception to Mr. Betts' promotion of violence against me and my fellow officers.

By Mr. Betts' own admission, he states that he has a contempt for police (maybe any kind of authority?) and I would suggest that his motivation is based on this contempt, and not in the "satire" that he would have you

believe. In my 15 years as a Denver police officer, I have had the occasion to bury too many of my co-workers. I find nothing funny or satirical in it.

Would The Metropolitan give Mr. Betts such sym· pathetic ink if he had requested that we go out and "Kill a (insert minority) for Jesus"? I think not. Betts wanted to "piss the most people off' that he could. He got his wish. Well, Mr. Betts, this is the real world. When you piss people off, whoever it is, there is a price to pay.

Take your lumps like a man, and stop your whining.

·-

James Cosgrove MSCD student

Photo, caption unreflective of diversity

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In the Aug. 26 issue of The Metropolitan, on page 3, a photo caption read "Overall enrollment inches higher, minority recruitment makes gains." To the right of this particular caption ran a picture of our campus with students walking around - only something was miss· ing. People of color were in fact excluded from this picture, which was supposed to show diversity on campus!

Page 3 was entirely about the conglomeration of issues surrounding people of color. Our own president,

Sheila Kaplan, is quoted as saying "I have made diversity one of the highest priorities in my administration."

Am I the only one who viewed this picture as being non-inclusive of people of color, especially when the entire page is dedicated to the acc·retion and retention of all people of color? I prefer the term people of color, rather than minority. I feel better using it!

Chris M. Selim MSCD junior

It might not hurt to ask about sexuality

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The Mttropo/itan is produced by and for the stiuknu of MSCDserving the Auraria Campus and the local c017111UUiily. The Metropolitan is supported by advertising revenues and student fees , and is published every Friday during IM academic year and is distributed lo all campus buildings. No person may take more than one copy of each weekly i.isue of The llfetropolitan without prior written permission. Direct any questions, complaint&, complinumts or commentsto IM MSCDBoard of Publications clo The Metropolitan. Opinions expmsed within do not necessarily rejl«t those of The Metropolitan, Metropolitan State College of Denver or its advertisers. Deadline for calendar items is 5 p.m. Friday. Deadline for press relea1es is 10 a. m. Monday.

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In response to the well-written guest editorial, "I. don't. want. to. know." by J.M. Schell (The Metropolitan, Sept. 9), I would like to supply the following statement: It. might. not. hurt. to. ask.

Holding stereotypes and expressing curiosity about other people pervades human nature, and I imagine that Schell is just as human as the rest of us. However, he's right when he says that mature people usually aren't titillated by information about the sex lives of their classmates.

As a grown-up student, I get annoyed by constant speculation about my own sexual orientation. I am angered by lingering questions, spoken or unspoken, of "Does she or doesn't she?"

Yet I have been targeted for prejudgments, just

because I wear my hair cut short. I have seen classmates move to another seat because they "didn't want to sit with a dyke." Of course I was hurt. When some· one bothers to ask, I reply that my lovely long blonde hair was ruined when it was cut dry so I had to have it cut short to repair the damage. After I give an honest reply, everything's OK again.

Grown-ups do not concern themselves with the habits of others, that's true; But I also think that grown-ups communicate openly, honestly, and empathetically. By the way, anyone who knows me knows that I am decidedly heterosexual.

,,

Cheryl Murphy MSCD student

Dr. Kaplan, please don't take our family from us Poor Dr. Akbarali Thobhani. I really feel quite sorry for him. Ever since they removed Chicano studies from under his command he has been at quite a loss as to what to do. But then, lo and behold, this excellent opportunity arises before him. Why not be in charge of International Programs? Oh, forget about the fact that he's about as qualified to run the program as a wet fish.

What difference has that ever made at MSCD? I first began my American education career as a foreign student. The guidance and attention that I received from Skip Crownhart and Mary Anne Krohn has never been matched by any other department on this campus. Where else could I go for help dealing with immigration problems? Where else could I go for assistance when it came to dealing with the differences between an American classroom and one from home?

Where else could I, a grown man, go and cry when I was homesick? (Will Dr. Thobhani let me leave tear

CORRI~PONDiNci The Metropolitan welcomes lettersto the editor and guest editorials from Auraria studentsand faculty. Submit letters (typed only) on a Macintosh-compatible disk. Letters must be under 250 words or will be edited for space. We won't print libelousor offensive material. Letters must include name, student IDnumber or title. school and phone number.

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streaks on his suit lapels? I doubt it.)

Not a single international student I know of is happy with this move of offices. Skip and Mary Anne have been family to so many of us who are lost over here. They have provided a stabilizing base, a home away from home and have given us excellent advice ranging from academic to emotional. They have instilled pride in us for what we have achieved, and they've shown us their own pride when we accomplish feats that might seem easy to Americans but are so difficult for us. They are our mothers, our sisters and our best friends. Even when you move on in life, as I have, they are still there for you.

Therefore, I put this plea out to MSCD President Sheila Kaplan ... please, please, please don't take our family away from us. I left one family behind overseas ... I don't want to lose another.

Hutch Hutcheson Ex-MSCD student

1-lCJ--.-..i!m( wnQ

Who wishes to be creative must first destroy and smash accepted values.

.>

The Metropolitan

The Simpsonization of America O.J. Simpson.

Now that I have your attention, I could probably launch into a discussion of waste water treatment systems or try to sell you a sofa.

But I'll leave sectionals and sewage for another time. I really am going to talk about the (alleged) Simpsonization of the Juice's ex.

Simpsonization? Sure. Can't you just see it in the next edition of Webster's? "Simpsonize\simp-soneyes [AmerSp, Mr. 0.J. Simpson] 1: to murqer one's former spouse, and/or anyone in the general vicinity, 2: an act of violence with a bladed weapon, see: entrenching tool, 3: any behavior by a man. See also: marriage divorce TV remote."

Har, har, har. Now that's funny.

Isn't it?

No. But apparently only because the victim in the Simpson case was a woman. Oh sure, a man - what's his name - was also slaughtered. But the important victim was a woman. Surely no normal person finds such horror humorous, right?

Wrong. Encouraged by the media, huge numbers of Americans found a similar (though non-fatal) act of violence uproariously funny. Remember all the jokes, the crude faxes?

Remember the barely restrained mirth of usually Puritanically dour news media figures? And amidst this goodnatured print and electronic ribbing a new word entered the popular lexicon.

Been Bobbit-ized lately?

Har. Har. Har.

The Simpson/Goldman murders are rightfully viewed with horror. But Lorena Bobbit's petulantly malicious butchery of her husband was funny? It makes me so nervous, I may take up smoking.

Which brings us back to advertising. A few years ago Philip Morris Co. introduced a new cigarette through a magazine and billboard ad campaign directed at young working class women. Which is no different than Cap'n Crunch ads on "Power Rangers" and Lexus ads alongside the NASDAQ in the Wall Street" Journal. But cigarettes aren't over-priced cars or a noxiously sugary breakfast cereal, so groups like the National Organization for Women were outraged. For weeks print and electronic media burned with the condemnation of this dastardly strategy to addict young women. The product line vanished like a puff of smoke.

Meanwhile, at the same time, the same company was introducing another brand of coffin nails (Magna) aimed at another consumer: Young working class men. Predictably, NOW and the national media were silent. The ads and the disease they peddle - to young men - are still out there.

This type of hypocrisy isn't limited to Madison Avenue. Rarely, for example, does a week pass without a major breast cancer story or program appearing in print and electronic media. And bookstore shelves are crowded with "been there, done that" accounts from victim personalities like

The changing face of Elvis

September 16, 1994

9

a guest editorial by J.M Schell

TV's Ann Gillian or Scripps-Howard's Linda Ellerbee.

What we don't hear about is the increased incidence of a similar disease afflicting men. Victims of this disease - testicular cancer - are primarily young men in their teens to early thirties who die if the disease goes undetected longer than about three weeks. The only treatment, so far, is a radical Bobbectomy. I've yet to see this epidemic even mentioned in the mainstream media, much less receive the attention breast cancer has.

So what's all this have to do with being Simpsonized? Well, it's troubling that society, following the media lead, has begun to adopt the attitude that when bad things happen to men, it's funny, dismissable and justifiable.

Jokes about Lorena Bobbit's savagery topped the media snicker-list for months, but no one is joking about Nicole Simpson. John Wayne Bobbit's - the victim's - sexual history was opened for public scrutiny and ridicule.

Nicole Simpson's - the victim's history (apparently every bit as sordid as Bobbit's) is a closed book, lest we start to "blame the victim." We're outraged by O.J. Simpson's (alleged) violence but raucously cheer Lorena Bobbit's?

Ah. Good plan.

The once honorable campaign by both women and men to correct the social flaw of gender discrimination, has been, well, Bobbit-ized. Women who've risen to positions of power in

the past few decades now use these positions as bully pulpits from which they preach discrimination themselves.

Cloaking itself in the past's by now thin and sullied veneer of nobility, the fight to make men and women equal has degenerated into vendetta. So much so that butchery of a man's genitalia because of unsatisfactory sexual performance (Ms. Bobbit's first, and ultimately, most believable explanation) is widely viewed as just desserts.

I wonder: If a man sliced off his wife's breast for say, burning the meatloaf, would the media and the public find that so humorous?

Personally, I don't want my daughters being encouraged by their older sisters to discriminate against anyone.

And I certainly don't want them adopting the typically male attitude that violence is the proper response to every sleight. It's time we all' outgrew that.

Besides, regardless of how immediately satisfying revenge might feel, two wrongs never make a right.

The women's movement has for decades asked men to consider whether their behavior toward women is what they'd like for their daughters.

But now the jackboot of institutionalized gender discrimination is rapidly slipping onto the other foot, so the question can be reversed: Excuse me Ms. (chortle, chortle) , has your son been Bobbit-ized lately?

The Rev. Mort Farndu First Presleyterian Church of Elvis the Divine

I don't know about you, but I have a real problem with change. Maybe I'm neurotic, but I don't trust it.

When I'm in a relationship, I don't want it to end. I've lived in the same apartment for five years. I get nervous when the boss asks me to step into his office.

(Being called to Elvis doesn't pay the bills, unfortunately.) Jobs end a lot like relationships, actually.

With an innocuous voice uttering The Four Dreadful Words: We have to talk.

And then change comes.

It can come like a bolt from the blue or a thief in the night. It can come when you're wide awake or when you're sound asleep. It comes if you embrace it and it comes if you resist. Change is a universal law.

Even for religions.

The great religions of the world seem static to many people, but that's because they're not looking at the big picture. In fact, most of the world's major religions have undergone fundamental - often cataclysmic - change. They only seem static because these changes have occurred over centuries or even millennia of time.

Take Buddhism, for instance.

Here's a nice Hindu boy, Siddhartha Gautama, born to privilege in India, into a religious tradition that's already 1,000 years old. Nice Hindu boy renounces caste and tradition, meditates a few years, then one day around 500 B.C. he's sitting under a pipal tree, minding his own business and -

presto! - we've got a new religion. Old Sid (at 35) has attained nirvana and the religious landscape in Asia will never be the same.

The changes don't stop there, either. Old Sid really does become old and he dies eventually. After his death, the monks start talking things over, discussing amongst themselves, as it were. What did the Buddha mean by this? By that?

The doctrine is interpreted over the centuries and translated into other languages as it spreads different sects of Buddhism appear. The religion crosses the Himalayas into,China 500 years after the Buddha's death, where it bumps up against Taoism - now we have Zen Buddhism.

When most religions change, though, we don't just get new sects arguing fine points of theology.

We get spiritual revolutions, whole new 路systems of belief, upheavals, war. From Judaism to Christianity to Islam, the history of religious change is fraught with violence that sweeps across nation.s and coi:itinents, engulfing hundreds of millions of lives.

I am sorry to report that even Presleyterianism, the newest and truest of the world's major monotheistic religions, is not immune to these terrible forces of change.

Constraints of space prevent me from detailing the awful schism in Elvis Worship until next week.

But for now, let me leave you with this chilling thought: Even the words of almighty E, left to us in his sacred songs and films, are open to misinterpre-

tation, distortion and outright blasphemy.

Nor is this only the work of Michael Jackson, the anti-Elvis. (Unhand our Princess, Evil Gloved One~ For the truth is, the worship of Elvis - he who is our rock AND our roll - has been defiled by the very people who claim to revere him most.

But religious schisms are like that.

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White boys rap PC to the max Jeanie Straub Copy Editor

.;

Yes, Tipper Gore would be proud, but don't dismiss the band Consolidated as wanna-be Marxists or politically correct hypocrites.

First listen.

In their latest dissertation, Business of Punishment (London), they tackle it all - from meat-eating to pornography to AIDS to abortion rights.

Acerbic tirades are set to eerie, danceable industrial/rap tracks.

The lyrics are heavy-handed let'sstop-this-downward-spiral-of-society socialist propaganda.

These are white boys who grew up in intellectual and financial security rapping in the '90s on their fifth longplayer.

Band videographer and dr'ummer Phil Steir is the son of an obstetrician/gynecologist who is a long-time abortion proponent. On Business of Punishment, guitarist/frontman Adam Sherburne tells you in monotone to a beat: "If you don't want an abortion don't get one" and "RU-486 /Yes I am sir."

In the spirit of the infommercial, they pack as much good-karma explanation and gut emotion into each track as an underground Bolshevik newspaper.

Although they may come off as self-righteous, to their credit they rec-

r==c:::;::;,:;:::::;::=;~~~~~~~~~:;;;;;~~=.;;;;~§§§ii~ issues in ' s u c h

broad terms.

You might be turned on by one especially poignant campaign only to have the effect negated at I e a s t watered down ~~. .lll!l!i!llmlllll!llilf!l!!!!l~!!!~l!!:5iii~ by the Political activism made easy - It's the new Consolidated. barrage of revoluognize their own guilt. Sherburne said they are white guys "raised in a sexist, tions.

"We refute the notion that art or racist, homophobic and species-ist" music should be escapist and purely society." entertaining," Sherburne said. "It Also, they are activists in their should be compelling, but by raising own right. Sherburne volunteers for ideas."

Stopping Violence Against Women in But does art always have to be so his home city of Portland, Ore., and used to distribute condoms and political?

The track "Born of a Woman" is bleach in San Francisco as a volunrefreshing to listen to with lyrics like teer. tragedy surrounds me I "manmade But the risk a band like this faces everywhere I look the remains of is not so much repercussions for women that men took I on billboards speaking their minds. They risk diminand TV I see women's ass reduced to ishing their message by trying to attack such a broad spectrum of the lowest class."

But where does it end? Do they

really have to tackle AIDS, meat-eating, the big bad music industry, topless dancers, the government, capitalism and pornography all on the same CD? In clips from open-mic sessions they hold at the end of their shows and traditionally include on their CDs, one Londoner had an answer: "When is the politics gonna stop? There's just too much - your music's lost its feel.

You've lost your feeling. There's too much preaching to the already converted . ... We already know about vegetarianism . We already know about tobacco, about sexism. If we know all the facts · now, why would I buy a Consolidated album? Do I sit down to two hours of politics rather than two hours of strength?"

If you are under 25 , consider yourself a liberal , and like urban garage music , these might be the guys you'd want to run into and eventually hang With on a permanent basis. Even so, you still might be worn out by the soup-mix of hot '90s topics they preach about.

If you're entering your survival of the fittest/Libertarian late 20s, you might listen to them when you need some good disco-stuff to get you in the mood for scrubbing the toilet.

Consolidated will bring their audio-visual extravaganza to Boulder's Fox Theater on Saturday, Sept. 17.

Book Review

·- Say it loud

I'm slack and I'm proud

Bud through his little life, and we're informed of every detail. He works in a record store, when Three Squirt Dog his viscous hangovers Rick Ridgway allow him to, and the St. Martin's Press .

Man oh man, this slacker book is peppered with thing is going to have to hit bot- references to film and tom soon. Richard Linklater's music, sometimes gratu1991 film "Slacker" may have set itously so. In the span of the stage for novels like these, a single page, refer a -day-in -the - life cinema verite- ences to the Ramones, style, casting withering sidelong Alex Chilton, Robyn glances at life as an American Hitchcock, The Cramps, teenager . "Three Squirt Dog" is The Clash and Joy kind of a slacker romance novel. Division assault the It's narrated by our hero , Bud reader with a non - stop Carew , who drifts through a fusillade of pop-culture cheap beer, pulp novel, alterna- icons. There's even rock kind of existence. We follow mentions of Anais Nin '---- - - - - ---1• and Henry MWer _ and that's a chuckle, until it dawns on you Bud through a litany of the mun just chapter one . that no one really talks like that dane, including teeth - brushing , Ridgway has no problem trip- in real life. Still , Ridgway paints bodily functions, scromp sesa picture of what it's like to be a sions with his girlfriend, Jane, as ping over his own cleverness. He punk, to be in love, to have a well as territorial and kitchen attempts to capture that honest- shithead for a brother, and he disputes with his punky li'I broth - to-goodness play - by - play details it with reckless crafts account of existence that is the er, Omar. manship.

Beer and hormones propel heart of slackerism . His characThe Budster has a heart of ters spout witticisms that provide

Jeff Stratton Editor

q

,d

gold - one aspect that makes "Three Squirt Dog " seem a tad unbelievable - and his love for his Jane is his raison d'etre .

When Jane's not around, poor Bud has to hang out with his knucklehead buddies or suffer through Omar' s fifteen-year-old repugnance. Omar's antics with his band , the Butt-Stabbers , and his disastrous near-win of a farting contest provide some of the grossest and funn i est moments in "Three Squirt Dog ." Of course , juvenalia and scatology aren 't for everyone . You may not want to eat while reading "Three Squirt Dog. " So, for a fun little excursion into a too-real istic realm of sex, drugs and rock ' n ' roll, try the slackness of "Three Squirt Dog ."

If you ' re a fan of the film " Slacker ," especially the grossout scene with the Madonna Pap smear, you'll probably have a chortle or two with this pulpy alterna-romance.

12

The Metropolitan

September 16, 1994

new column

A plethora of product

The lQrke

"For the last month I haven't been touring because I've been in the studio remixing all my jokes."

- comedian Andy Kindler

foundation of house music

awe, towards spiritual transcendence.

In the darkness, the music itself seems more deeply with every beat, to explore life's most fundamental meanings. Truly a soundtrack for city Dance club music has often living, and all within a surprisingly shown a dazzling ability to renew austere aural vocabulary. But even to Deee-Lite itself, with new mutations of it inexplic- the most dedicated clubber they are Dewdrops In the Garden LP ably managing to tantalize and anonymous, because who asks quesBring Me Your Love (12" single) enslave even more than its predeces- tions when caught in the vortex of a Elektra sors. You no doubt know of techno: club epiphany? beat-centered, trance-like, -sci-fi-ish Even my incomplete collection of Deee-Lite's creativity continues its and repetitive. Deep house is its soul- the prolific Masters' work spans five exponential growth unchecked. Give ish cousin, sharing techno's electron- years and eighty-plus vinyl platters them credit - it's rare for a group of ic/minimalist heritage but also rooted and CD singles. Among their new & such captivating personas to consisin disco, jazz, hip-hop and funk. Deep notable (sticker shock note: the tently put out such solid, surprising house was hatched in Mediterranean imports mentioned below will run $9 work. Also, as the act of the house Europe and the Black, Hispanic and apiece): world, expectations are high and I found UrbanSpecies' "Listen" gay clubs of Chicago, Detroit and move is watched (and copied). every New York. Unlike pop music, the (Talkin' Loud UK) in, of all places, the Yet they remain ahead of the pack, lifeblood of house is not album-driven acid jazz section; yet another healthy using their unsurpassed knack for and rarely star-driven. Instead, most sign of MAW's continuing adventurinventive dance textures to cram of its exchange takes place in vinyl's ousness. The two Gonzalez versions dump trucks full of lively ideas into last refuge, 12-inch singles, each of are thick, rich, moody hip-hop, and each track.

The variety lurches hilarideftly-sculpted Vega the four light, which contain several versions, or remixes, of the same song. house mixes recall and equal their ously from acid-jazz funkiness a La A decade ago a remix simply success on Deee-Lite's 1992 De La Soul to sugar-charged technotribal imbecility in seconds. There's meant that a song was lengthened, its "Runaway" remixes.

Total Ka-Os (Strictly Rhythm) is a even a conceptual nod to John Cage percussion textures tweaked ever-soslightly, with maybe a gimmicky noise Kenny Dope solo effort, but still shows with eight minutes of strategically(like a car screech or voice yelling the flawless MAW sound the rest can deployed silences. (Don't worry, the "hey!") tossed in. But Kindler's joke, only approximate. There's four differ- album still clocks in at 60 minutes.) although clearly a sardonic jab at ent tracks, including a disturbing And Lady Miss Kier's vocals have remixers, is also an indication that Japanese koto on "Its A Ill Groove," never worked better. Bonus! Masters they have arrived as a real force in but the king is "Something Old At Work's (see article this issue) colthe recording arts. Because, for a few School" - a suitable title, as it sounds laboration on "Bittersweet Loving," years now, several gifted wizards like a clever retread of the very first heard strongly in the keyboards. The have slowly pushed the remixer's MAW remix I ever heard, 1991's "Only 12-inch "Bring Me Your Love" (no CDpurview beyond these uncreative Love Can Break Your Heart" for St.. single released at press time) features chores. They rebuild a song from the Etienne. six divergent remixes pressed into MAW presents "People . ground up (is that why it's called snazzy white vinyl. house?), changing the tempo, percus- Underground - My Love" (Freetown Clarke Jean sion, instrumentation, melodic lines, UK) - the three mixes begin with a chords and/or the vocals; removing in cappella scorchers (which frankly the process almost any resemblance coulda been toned down just a tad), to the often frighteningly lame original but then MAW's vicious, sprawling version. Reflective of this total over- keyboard imagery starts in and the haul is the following liner note extract: universe clicks into alignment.

"Remixed and reconstructed by 'Little' House of Vulcan Honor Roll: Louie Vega and Kenny 'Dope' Masters At Work's Highest Gonzales." Vega and Gonzales, DJs Acheivements To Date: from the Bronx and Brooklyn, respecSt. Etienne - Nothing Can Stop tively, are in turn examples of the Us Now (Warner, 1991) most talented and influential remixers Janet Jackson - That's the Way in the world. Together the duo are Love Goes (Virgin, 1993) known rather aptly as Masters At Neville Brothers - Fly Like An Work.

Eagle (A&M, 1992) MAW are legendary among DJs, Georgie Porgie - Let the Music as their name on a single virtually Pump You Up (SlamJam, 1992) gu~rantees the fiercest, most state-ofMAW presents NuYorican Soul Opus Ill the-art house available. The respect The Nervous Track (Nervous, 1994) Guru Mother Barbara Tucker - Beautiful they command in the industry is such_ East/West Records that they have remixed such R&B big- People {Strictly Rhythm, 1994) Lisa Stansfield - Set Your Loving gies as Ultra Nate, Chic, Vanessa Guru Mother follows a tough act Williams and Michael Jackson. To Free (Arista, 1992) namely, one of the decade's such sow's ears MAW have imparted Bjork - Violently Happy (Elektra, strongest albums. Such an achievethe silk-purse tailorings of mature, 1994) ment was Opus Ill's prodigal, sunlit understated focus and confidence; Madonna - Erotica (Sire, 1992) techno debut Mind Fruit, and a special Masters At Work - The Album mystique swirls around it; among grounded, streetwise urbanity; devastating, impeccable, Chanel-esque (Cutting Records, 1993) more lascivious listeners, it's even style; and an uncanny instinct towards

thought to have an aphrodisiacal mojo on women! Regrettably, Guru Mother is less pure in its personality and courage of conviction, occasionally lapsing into the clich0 subterranea of Orb/Orbital knockoffs and (yeesh!) pop-ish Sunscreem blandness. But there are exquisite touches in the title track, and the final three cuts, themselves worth the album's purchase, may foreshadow a fruitful future vein for Opus Ill; one that is airborne, cobra-coiled and unconditionally nurturing.

Jean Clarke Various Artists Natural Born /(jl/ers Soundtrack nothing/lnterscope This is one eerie CD! Very reminiscent of producer Trent Renzor's dispirited lyrics which launched the success of Nine Inch Nails. Renzor has compiled a collection of fierce, reckless tracks with plenty of gloomy ones as well. And to top it off, the soundtrack is scattered with creepy dialogue from the movie.

Untamed songs such as L7's "Shitlist," NIN's new song "Burn" and the strange concoction of "Sex is Violent" by Jane's Addiction and Diamanda Galas, fit perfectly with the explosive excerpts featuring Juliette Lewis and Woody Harrelson blowing someone away or screaming at one another. These tidbits are sure to elicit a smile from those who've seen the film; if you haven't, you'll be intrigued by lines like Lewis' "That's the worst head I've ever had. Next time I won't be so eager!"

On the dreary side the CD offers The Cowboy Junkies' "Sweet Jane" and several other morbid songs.

Besides the new NIN song, and the liberal placement of Pretty Hate Machine's "Something I Can Never Have," there's a new Peter Gabriel tune, a Patsy Cline ballad and the Budapest Philharmonic Orchestra to round it off.

Although a completely creepy collection of violent and morbid ballads, Renzor has brilliantly composed a powerful album. Definitely not an uplifting CD, but if you enjoy a mix of total depression and rage, then this is for you.

Joelle Conway The Rev. Horton Heat Liquor in the Front

lnterscope The recorded gospel of the threepiece Reverend Horton Heat can only begin to capture the manifest power of demonic exorcism the group performs on stage. Now on lnterscope for improved distribution, Heat continues to redefine the white boy's premier sacramental contribution to rock 'n' roll, blaspheming in the fine tradition of Link Wray, Hasil Adkins and Gene Vincent - only this time it's produced

by Al Jourgensen of Ministry.

When asked how in the hell they hooked up with the freak who

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The Metropolitan

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enough to puff a really fat one, or paint a small room. Stereolab's unstable stability is giddy and inspiring.

They seem to know what they 're doing, but sometimes they fall into this tendency to drag things out with a slightly off-key repet ition , or to become a victim of silliness, like singing three songs i n French .

"Transporte Sans Bouger" rides a computer modem through a twinkling sky of '70s TV themes, and the incomparable "Wow and Flutter" sets the stage for the new Stereolab. This is as warm as the little green light on an answering machine. Hot off their Lollapalooza second-stage spot, and gaining followers rapidly, Mars Audaic Quintet is cuddlier and softer than 1993's Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements, but every bit as amusing.

Stratton

Special to The Met Michael Hogan

...

launched a career from the subterranean dance abyss called With Sympathy, drummer Patrick .. Taz" Bentley chuckled and said, "I guess he saw us in Chicago and I was the first one to leave the stage. There was this guy - I didn't even know who he was - and he bowed down and started kissing my feet. I said, 'Man, get up. Have a beer or something.'" The rest, of course, is history, and hep cats everywhere should be proud to serve this unholy trinity. It is, after all, what they deserve.

Regrets Durr

The Soup Dragons Hydrophonic PolyGram The Soup Dragons' third release is their best. Hydrophonic follows through with the usual Soup Dragons dance-rock soul sound, but this time they have taken it a bit further. A great hodgepodge of sound is here - rock n roll meets gospel, rap and reggae.

Sean Dickson continues to rev up the band with strong vocals, hot guitar licks and great change-ups . The album gets further support from the legendary Bootsy Collins on the "MotherFunker" track.

Although the Soup Dragons have done a great job with Hydrophonic, it is perhaps a bit more experimental than some would hope. Nonetheless, most fans will find their fix with this one.

Richard Coy

Stereolab Mars Audaic Quintet Elektra Are they the Archies with a miniM oo g? The Jetsons with bongo drums? Whatever: Stereolab is loads of fun , from their song titles ("Three Longers Later," "International Colouring Contest," "Three-Dee Melodie') to their shameless co-opting of Donovan-era ballad.earing set to a kitschy throwback to the analog age.

Mars Audiac Quintet is perfect background music while you're trimming your goatee or admiring you latest neo-cubist conversation piece - it's that good. This CD clocks in at a reassuringly lengthy 67 minutes, long

Big Electric Cat Dreams of a Mad King Cleopatra This Australian Goth outfit have the dressed in black/eyeliner thing down to a science . Echoes of the Mission, the March Violets and the Sisters of Mercy threaten to drown out Big Electric Cat's own brand of dark and stormy imagery. They don't seem to mind being pegged as the StepSisters - just as that band had a drum machine called Doktor

c

e

Avalanche, B.E.C . have one called Dr. Ruth. Even with the metal beat, they're more Gothic than industrial.

Their name comes from the Philip K. Dick novel, "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" ( it's also an Adrian Belew song). They claim to take their cues from ex-Aussies like Dead Can Dance and Nick Cave, but they lack, for the most part, the sophistication and originality to pull it off. Still, the opening cut, "Christabel," is a dynamic tornado of a song; vocalist Paul Sadler's booming foghorn and Deborah Denton' s lovely lilt provide a voluptuous harmony that isn't equaled elsewhere on Dreams. B.E.C. doesn't seem to think it's being silly; even when the lyrics are a laugh, there's no hint of pretense. They really believe in the black-clad Goth thing. (Maybe it's Australia's high rate of skin cancer.)

But they do rock out convincingly, and it's hard not to jump back instinctively when they snarl, until you look again and realize that they're small and harmless.

Stratton

Allen Sex Fiend Drive My Rocket Cleopatra The long, bizarre and prolific career of Alien Sex Fiend is encapsulated exquisitely on Drive My Rocket, a retrospective released by the Los Angeles independent Cleopatra.

Ghoulishly geared for newcomers, the 13 songs dig up some primitive bone fragments of 1983's Who's Been Sleeping In My Brain LP all the way up to the juggernautic dancefloor hedonism of "Hurricane Fighter Plane" from 1987 and the whacked-out techno-hell of 1992's Open Head Surgery album. Some of the older material sounds oddly distant, dated and deranged. The newer stuff is slicker, dancier and still deranged. Alien Sex Fiend's horrorshow hysteria and grimy industrial turmoil is a lot like drinking too much. It's a scary R&B slice of that time when-things don't look right, you're not quite in control, and you know you'll probably be sick in the morning. This feeling is captured perfectly on Drive My Rocket. While I'll admit it's an acquired taste, avoiding Alien Sex Fiend (and it's not hard to do) is your loss. Highly recommended.

Stratton

September 16, 1994

13

se ti

Oasis Definitely Maybe Sony Mined from the same Mancunian vein of gold that produced Happy Mondays and the Stone Roses, Oasis stand with guitars aimed at America, heir apparent to the Brit-rock throne.

Definitely Maybe sails across the pond on a boogie-board of hype, some dead-on, some hopelessly overinflated. Yes, Oasis is boss stuff, it's all shimmery and sparkly and witty and clever, but it lacks an overall veneer of greatness that dripped off the Stone Roses' 1989 debut, or the psychedelic massage that Verve gave last year. Oasis' core, the Gallagher brothers, are clearly up to something, and that something is Beatles-ish and hummable . If these guys were Americans, they'd be huge. The Big Hit hasn't happened yet, but there are signs that it's on the way. Maybe's high points , "Supersonic, " "Shakermaker" and "Slide Away" are sublimely fascinating, brimming with restrained explosiveness. It's easy to be fond of a group who don't think twice about rhyming "shite" with "night."

Oasis will play Denver's Mercury Cafe on Oct. 4 . Tickets are $.5. For more info on Oasis, call 447-6502.

Stratton Lisa Germano Geek The Girl 4AD Lisa Germano is not the next vocal virtuosa. Her voice is a painful whisper without much control or range. But her girlish, hippie-ish tone with a nonchalant, almost comatose attitude is still appealing in songs like "Geek the Girl:" "I always liked rock 'n' roll, it kinda moves me/ ... yeah.

Sure ./ Oh, oh, I'm not too cool .. . wrong move and you're not too cool, run, run, you're not too cool, keep it in 'cause you're not too cool."

Like a lethargic Joni Mitchell with a quiet, Joplinesque scratchiness, Germano finds her own in this distinctly Gothic production. Titles like "My Secret Reason," "Trouble," "Cry Wolf," "Psychopath" and "Phantom Loner" say everything about her application of the 19th century death/romance cult.

The haunting woodwinds and

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14

The Metropolitan

September 16, 1994

Even more CDs that you've been wondering about piano - played like a disturbed child experimenting with the lower black keys - are as irresistible as a succubus. The gu itar and percussion rhythms are slow and enchanting throughout. It left me longing like a vampire. It's luscious and fulfilling, but I still need more.

Robyn Schwartz

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Jerky Boys Jerky8oys2 Select Records Ball Busters No Jerkin' Off Dilligraf Records The Jerky Boys are at it again.

Absent for two years since their premier, they've returned with Jerky Boys 2, another collection of devilish prank calls.

The calls are done by a couple of characters: Sol Rosenburg is the whiny neurotic who calls a therapist to report that he is "scared of his own shadow."

Next is an Indian snake charmer who calls the clinic after losing his eye to a snake. Then there's our gay friend who calls a sporting goods store wanting to know if one of the sales reps could "put on a pair of golf shoes, and like, kick my ass all over the store and stomp all over me."

If there is a prince of prank, it is the original Jerky Boy who carries the title. The never placid "Frank Rizzo" highlights the tape with his New York accent and rude antics.

"Hello."

"Yeah, lemme speak to Sparky."

"Speaking."

"Sparky, Sparky the clown. How you doin', fruitcake?"

"Uh, not too bad, who's this?"

"Frank, Frank Rizzo. Listen, I need you for a gig."

"OK." "Whaddya do? Backflips? You jump up there in a silly suit? Whaddya do?"

Rizzo continues to test the toler-

ance of his victims at the pawn shop when he tries to sell the diamonds acquired after he "just whacked some fucker out."

Not to be outdone by the Jerky crew is Ball Busters, another compilation of kooky crank calls that are just as rude as Jerky's but twice as vulgar in most cases. No Jerkin' Off clearly challenges the Boys' claim to the phone.

For example , an effeminatesounding transsexual who wants to have his penis bronzed sends the bronzing shop into chaos "This is a very unusual request," and an angry divorce seeker who can't stop using four letter words when he brings up the name of his wife terrorizes an attorney.

Though these CD's seem a bit like recycled original Jerky Boys, and No Jerkin ' Off contains one call that seems like a set-up, both Jerky 2 and Ball Busters are worth a few chuckles.

Whether or not they're worth the price of a CD depends on how much you enjoy cranks.

Isaac Mion Jeff Buckley Grace Columbia Jeff Buckley' s music won't be

invading the radio waves anytime soon as it lacks the repetitive gimmicks, whether lyrically or instrumentally, that riddle our air waves. His style evades an easy classification, and one might wonder where he fits in at all. Perhaps it borders on some distant form of folk, but its elusive quality is what gives Grace its flavor. Buckley (son of the late tortured 60s folk singer Tim Buckley) plays the guitar, harmonium, organ and dulcimer, but it's his high, sweet voice that stays in the spotlight for the most part. He and his band create a unique , flowing sound, and Buckley's impressions on love and life unfold in a continuous story that is free of petty observations.

The music is mellow, soothing and insightful. It may not catch your ear at first, but its overall effect is surprising.

-

This group is for people who are tired of failing at weight loss plans and their negative effect on their self-esteem and their bodies.

This group is for peo~e who desire a true understanding of what really is behind the reason food plays such an important part in their lives.

PLA7A KESEARCH

The participants will explore the various behaviors, patterns of thought. actions and feelings that cause overeating.

572-6900

• The Metropolitan

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~ ~NAPsnoTs

15

Auraria team walks Sunday to fight AIDS

The new date for the Tivoli Student Union Grand Opening is Oct. 20, 21 and 22. Hold on one more month, it'll be more fun than an automated baggage system.

The MSCD chapter of Society of Technical Communications invites you to submit portfolios, videos, design graphics and more to the STC Publications and Art Competition Student Showcase '94. Entries accepted until Oct. 15. Entry fee $1 O for the first entry, $7 for each additional entry. For more information, call 556-4756.

Depressed? Overwhelmed? Call the MSCD Counseling Center for individual or group counseling. Workshops also available. Call 556-3132 or stop by CN-203 for professional support.

POIES/S is here. Pick up your free copy of the poetry newsletter and calendar of events at the Auraria Book Store and the Auraria Library. Read the first and second place-winning poems for the 1994 Poiesis Poetry Contest. Subscriptions are available for $12 a year for six issues by mail. Call 697-1317.

El Centro Cultural Arts Institute offers free classes in Theatre and Visual Arts through Oct. 15. Call 296-0219 for more information.

Cast members and musicians from the Broadway hit "Tommy" will appear in "A Miracle Cure" to benefit the Colorado AIDS Project at 8 p.m Sept. 26 at The Galleria at the Denver Center for Performing Arts. Join them in music dance and a show memorabilia auction.Tickets are $20. Call 860-8250 for tickets.

Help prevent teen pregnancy. Sign up for a four-mile pledge walk to benefit Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains.

The walk is at 9 a.m. Sept. 24 at Cherry Creek Park. For more information, call 863-1633.

John Irving will read from his new novel "A Son of the Circus" at 7:30 p.m. Sept. 19 at the Trinity United Methodist Church, 1820 Broadway. His appearance is sponsored by the Open Book Literacy Program. Tickets are available for $15 at the Tattered Cover Book Store at 2955 E. First Ave. - Robyn Schwartz

•

September 16, 1994

Robyn Schwartz Features Editor

organized, the way the park was set up. I think it was great."

"I had a lot of fun," said co-organizer Karen Bensen, the director of Auraria's tri-institutional Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Services.

The Auraria walk team was made up of students, staff, faculty and a dog.

Booths provided water to parched walk-

Two-year Auraria Walk Team veteran Toren Elsen beat his own record in fundraising this year with $205. Last year he raised $160. He may also be one of the Walk's most energetic participants. Elsen is 8 years old and a friend of MSCD student and Health Center efllployee David Eldrich. Elsen helped carry the Auraria Walk Team Banner during the 4mi-le walk, starting early s .urtday in the pre-scorch hours of Sunday morning.

A crowd of more than 8,500, including about 60 Auraria walkers, moved as one body to raise about $600,000 for the Colorado Aids Project and other organizations benefiting people living with AIDS. Eldrich and Auraria coorganizer Jeff Milich were both excited about the turnout for Sunda y's event, which included an aerobics warm-up, live music from Monkey Siren The Metropolitan/Sherry Stegall and speeches from Mayor Denver Mayor Wellington .Webb speaks to Wellington Webb, Gov. Roy thousands gathered Sunday In Cheesman Romer and State Park for the 1994 Colorado AIDS Walk.

Representative Patricia Schroeder. ers, both human and canine, and a particuRomer and Webb proclaimed larly enthusiastic belly dancer urged October 1994 as Colorado AIDS walkers on at about the third mile.

Awareness Month. In an honorary procla- Onlookers stood along much of the mation he declared the need for education course, either cheering or just curious ensuring citizens accurate information about the long procession. about AIDS to fight fear and discriminaThe MSCD Golden Key Honor tion against those with the disease.

Society contributed at least 20 people to Webb has been on the CAP's board the cause. for seven years.

Kathy Burrows, an MSCD senior "I'm happy to see so many people," Human Services major on the Auraria Webb said after the brisk walk. The fes- team, commented on the positive atmostive mood of the walk was purpose- and phere at the march. caffeine-charged (Starbucks gave away "I would like to say there was great gallons of potent Yukon coffee), many cooperation between everybody. hung out in the park for hours after finish- Sometimes with a walk like that you get ing the trek. people who will be negative, but I didn't "Everybody felt really good about it see anything like that." this year," Milich said, "the way it was 0

Take a visual vacation

free

'Chicano Connection' at MSCD Center for the Visual Arts expresses aura of Hispanic culture and creativity Dale Embleton The Metropolitan

'Rio Por No Llorar' by Alex Donis at the MSCD Center for the Visual Arts.

From "El Biso Cosmico" - "The Ancestral Encounter" - by Laura Hernandez to yesterday in the barrio with "La Familia Y Su Chevy Van" by Tony Ortega, we are dazzled by the prints as The Center for the Visual Arts (1701 Wazee St.) presents the exhibition "Ch1'cano Connection" through Oct. 22.

Placed as sentinel over

fields of workers and fields of dubious freedom, viewers are drawn by colorful images that represent and contribute to the life and history of a people expressing their struggle to define themselves, using vital cultural icons and familiar symbols of the western United States.

Director/curator Sally Perisho.praises the art for its · "vivacity in color, subject, and emphasis on content rather than form. The work is often

political, confrontational and brash. The artists are informing the non-Chicano about their pluralistic identity."

There is pleasure and anguish, laughter and tears, peaceful rest and political distress, all contributing to the learning experience and visual delights of spending some time with the art.

There are works by 38 · /Ch'1cano artJsts, · · ludLatmo me ing local talents Gloria Vialpando, Emanuel Martinez,

Abe Vigil, Tony Ortega, and ~arl~s Fr~squez. The exhibit10n 1s bemg funded by The Bank of Cherry Creek, MSCD Club Funding and the Metro Activities Council, UCO Student Life and the Colorado Council on the Arts. The exhibit is co-sponsored by the Latina sorority Lambda Theta Nu and the Hispanic Leadership Association, two MSCD studen t clubs.

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The Metropolitan

September 16, 1994

Women's Center benefits all students Kevin Juhasz The Metropolitan Women make up 52 percent of the population at MSCD. One organizati.on wants to make sure they get the most out of their time here.

Tull " Our mission statement says that we're committed to the

empowerment of women through education, and one of our main goals is to assist women with a positive college experience," said Tara Tull, coordinator of Women's Services at the Institute for Women's Studies and Services, 1033 Ninth St. One way the institute is doing this is the "Transitions for Women" program. The eight-week program, starting Sept. 14, is designed to help women entering college for the first time or returning after a long absence.

The program will have sessions on self-value, including the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test and value clarifica-

tion survey . Financial aid, scholarships, and other campus information will also be discussed.

Tull said she is also planning to have two sessions, one with a panel of teachers and another with a panel of students, to " talk about tips for success and strategies for survival and provide some role modeling."

The institute is also doing a Scholarship Information Workshop with the Student Development Center and the Feminist Alliance. The hourlong workshop, which will run on several dates through Nov. 1, can help students learn more about scholarships -

how to find them and how to apply for them, Tull said.

Last year, the institute helped students get more than $18,000 in scholarships, with nearly $3,000 going to men. It may be called the Institute for Women's Studies and Services, but it helps all students.

The institute doesn't always hear from students it has helped . The $18,000 amount is the aid the institute knows about. The institute may have helped many others by providing information and through workshops.

The institute, along with MSCD

•

see WOMEN page 17

Thorpe looking forward to time off THORPE from page 18 Thorpe's office has worked on improving and initiating many branches of Student Services and Student Life, including the MSCD Health and Counseling Centers, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Services and multicultural programs, but she said she is most proud of her office' s initiation of the Martin Luther King Peace Breakfast, coming up on its third year at MSCD. "We all had a great time with the

Martin Luther King Breakfast. It was a spirit builder and we all felt uplifted by that."

Thorpe says she loves college so much she has never left it. A West Virginia native, she went from undergraduate school (education degree) straight into a master's program and finally to earning a Ph.D. in college student personnel administration from the University of Colorado. Then she went to work at Loretto Heights College, before joining MSCD six years ago.

"I absolutely fell in love with educa-

tion. I like the smell of it. I love books, I like pencils, I like bulletin boards, I like students. I like computers. I love learning. I like new ideas. You know I never wanted to get away from that, and for innovation, I felt like probably this is the best place to be."

Thorpe will miss MSCD and MSCD will miss Thorpe.

"S he is so student-oriented," said Student Trustee Alfonso Suazo of Thorpe, "that many of the students in student gov-

emment and publications don't want to see her leave."

Thorpe compares MSCD to weather in Colorado. If you don't like what's going on, just wait.

Speaking of weather, Thorpe noted it as one thing she is ready to enjoy.

"Fall is my favorite time of year. I love autumn . ... I can't remember ever having time in the fall in the last 24 years. So I'm really going to take advantage of walking through the leaves."

...

Binge eating is characterized by frequent and recurring episodes of uncontrolled eating, which are followed by feelings of distress, such as extreme guilt or self-disgust about the eating episode.

Characteristics of binge eating Include: • • • • •

a sense of lack of control around food a sense of guilt and shame after eating episodes eating until feeling uncomfortably full eating large amounts of food when not physically hungry obsessive thoughts around food, weight or body image

This group will use a cognitive -behavioral approach to treatment It will include homework which must be done for this approach to be effective. It will help you to define new goals. It will offer support to help you stop binge eating and give you the skills and encouragement to develop a new relationship with food.

Where: When:

Instructor: Cost: Registration: Class Size:

Central Classroom 203 Begins Thursday- September 22, 1994 Introductory meeting 12:00 p.m. -1:00 p.m.

Linda Wiikins-Pierce, Student Health Center Barbara Mcintire, MSCD Counseling Center Free Attend Introductory meeting or call The Student Health Center at 55~2525.

e

Presented by the Student Health Center, Plaza Building Suite 140 - Phone: 556-2525

OPENS FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 16TH AT ATHEATRE NEAR vau.

l,

The Metropolitan

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September 16, 1994

17

'Good Man' an insult to real strife in Africa Jason Dow-Peterson The Metropolitan "A Good Man in Africa" makes its debut at a time when the media's focus is turned on the sociopolitical problems facing much of the continent.

The movie attempts to create a typical scenario of government life, and the lives of everyday African people. It attempts to explore the struggle for power between new emerging governments and Europe' s dwindling colonial stronghold.

The political intrigue is less than awe inspiring and even less educational. It makes a mockery of African traditions while trying to enlighten us. It does all this while trying to make us laugh. You could easily walk away from this one without being entertained, or for that matter, Leaming a thing. It is devoid of meaning and is a complete flop.

Sean Connery stars as Dr. Alex Murray, the do-gooder in Gramercy' s

--------------------------.alcoholic British uninteresting diplomat who crosses waste of $20 paths with the doctor. million. As He is not a good man, the title and it is the doc's job implies, he is to change him. That's the only good man in Africa about as complicated and won't be as this movie gets. bought off by Colin Friels ("Darkman," "Eve of corrupt offiDestruction" ) who cials. We are plays Morgan, gave a supposed to be blessed by bit of life to this mostly inanimate produchis mere tion. His portrayal of presence. an utterly pathetic forIn his o pening """"~"""'--I eigner trying to surscene, the vive in a foreign land music builds might get a few and Morgan ......,_ __...___ _,laughs, but it's not Sean Connery (right) stars sparsely as the good guy in 'A Good Man in Africa.' enough to make up for Leafy' the other main character, is taken aghast at only about 10 minutes of his presence in everything else.

You would do well to save yourself the mere sight of him for no apparent rea- this overly long production. son. Incidentally, Connery blesses us with Morgan is a pompous, womanizing, the price of admission and miss this one.

Women's Action Guide available soon WOMEN from page 16

-

The institute, along with MSCD Student Publications, also provides the Women's Action Guide.

The first section of the guide is a list of on-campus resources. It provides names, addresses and phone numbers for areas of financial aid, student

development, counseling and others.

The second part of the guide is a list of community resources. It is a list of organizations that help women.

Some of the areas it covers include health care, sexual harassment, domestic violence, rape, divorce, and lesbian and bisexual issues. It gives names, addresses, phone numbers and brief

•

descriptions of these organizations.

Some of the groups listed include Rape Assistance) and Awareness Program, Planned Parenthood, Colorado AIDS Project and the Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition.

The guide is being updated and will not be available for several weeks.

For information on any of these organi-

zations, call the Institute for Women's Studies and Services at 556-8441.

Throughout the year, the institute also sponsors speakers, workshops, and classes that deal with women's issues.

The Women's Center also provides help dealing with discrimination and harassment and a library that includes various research materials.

• THE METROPOLITAN STATE COLLEGE OF DENVER STUDENT HEALTH CENTER AND CAMPUS RECREATION AT AURARIA

W.uld like to say we can give you results in a week.

We can't.

r.

We can only give you results.

LIFESrEPSni: Weight Management is an eating plan for life.

No special supplements. No costly medical exams or weekly fees.

The MSCD Student Health Center and Campus Recreation at Auraria has trained health profes.sionals that know that changing lifelong habits isn't easy, and that pennanent solutions take time to work.

Learn how to design a new approach to food and nutrition plus learn how to fit exercise into your daily Life. Get familiar with Campus Recreation and the staff will introduce you to a vari· ety of recreational opportunities.

This opportunity will provide you with valuable publication experienceas well as the chance to share your creativity and ideas.

<

After all, you didn't gain weight in a day. You can't lose it that fast, either. But today, you can take the first step by calling UFESTEPS™.

Call us at 556-2525.

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Where: When: Instructors:

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556-3940

•

•

PER Events Center Room 001 (lower level) Mondays, Plan to attend the Introductory class on September 19, 1994 1-1 :50 PM Lecture, 1 :50-2:30 PM Conditioning (optional) Cynthia Farkas, Family Nurse Practitioner Student Health Center Patty McConnell, Assistant Director, Campus Recreation $40.00 students, $50.00 faculty/staff (fee includes hard bound participant manual)

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18

The Metropolitan

•

September 16, 1994

Illness forces Thorpe to leave MSCD It is often progressive and there is no cure.

Its symptoms range from stiffened joints to Features Editor internal organs that stop functioning, to difDespite a chronic illness which ficulty in breathing due to hardening tissue caused her to around the esophagus, to exhaustion. leave MSCD, 'That's the biggest one," Thorpe said.

Dr. Karen. "The horrendous fatigue."

Thorpe embodBut she is not despondent over the illies joie de vivre. ness.

She left her ''I had to accept it,'' said Thorpe, 44. ''I positions as did a lot of therapy in accepting it. 'Cause assistant vice it's difficult to accept that you have a chronpresident of ic illness. What you hope is you get sick Student Affairs and you get well. But that's not the case and dean of with this. You learn how to live with it."

Thorpe Student Life Thorpe said she wants to work, but on Sept. 9. something that requires less activity than "I'm very hopeful, she says with real her job at MSCD demanded. optimism in her voice. "I'm just not able to "Now I'm going to get a chance to do work at the pace and in a stressful environ- something else. So that's kind of exciting. I ment, and a lot of activity can be very don't know what that's going to be, but I'm stressful. looking forward to exploring some of those "I almost feel like I won the lottery. things."

'Cause it's like a new lease on life."

She looks at the maps on the walls.

Thorpe's new lease came about a year ''That's why I have these." ago in the form of systemic scleroderrna, a Yet she is sad to leave MSCD. disease that affects more people than multi"I wouldn't normally just quit a job ple sclerosis or muscular dystrophy. like this 'cause this is a great job. I've Scleroderrna is a result of too much colla- worked with some wonderful, wonderful gen in the skin. The skin can harden exter- people, some highly skilled professionals. nally and/or internally, as in Thorpe's case. And the students, oh gosh. The students

Robyn Schwartz

have just been outstanding. I wouldn't just quit that."

Thorpe took a 10-week medical leave earlier this year, hoping the break would allow her to keep her job.

"But unfortunately you can't put your energy in a bank. You can't stock it up."

Thorpe says her biggest problem is exhaustion, but she has other symptoms.

The disease affects her esophagus, restricting her breathing. She said it's hard to tell exactly how much involvement there is internally without exploring surgically, and there is no purpose in surgery because doctors don't know how to stop it. Doctors can treat only symptoms.

Thorpe's symptoms also include trouble swallowing and bad circulation, causing numbness and coldness in her hands and feet.

"A friend of mine that has this said that your mind makes contracts that your body can't keep. I think that's a great way of explaining it. You think you can do certain things, but you're sort of in a twilight zone, sort of dragging your way through."

She says she spends a lot of time picking things up.

"The other night I went into the refrigerator and got a half-gallon of milk out, and my head said that I had it, but I didn't. It

went everywhere."

Researchers are looking into what makes the sclerodenna progress and what prevents its furtherance. They have also tried to determine if scleroderma is hereditary, but have found no link.

Thorpe sees doctors at the Colorado University Health Sciences Center. She is part of a group of patients who's disease is both treated and studied there. She also attends a monthly support group with other scleroderma sufferers.

In her emptying office, Thorpe still sifts through papers on her desk and plaques still cover the wall, recording her contributions to MSCD, to her previous position at Loretto Heights College and to women in the community. The plaques, not Thorpe, attest to her dedication to students and to education. They say things like "Continued Support of Student Voice,'' "our heartfelt thanks,'' "In ~ecognition of Commitment to Women's Education," and soon.

But regarding her involvement in projects at Auraria, she always uses "we" emphatically, in reference to numerous students, staff and faculty that moved the programs along.

see THORPE page 16

-/!·

Grand Opening at the Tivoli Thursday, September 22 We specialize in ••• The Lowest Priced Airfares International Student & Teacher Airfares Railpasses issued on-the-spot International Student Identity Cards Work Abroad & Language Programs

Winter & Spring Break Packages Travel Gear & Guidebooks .

Hostel Cards Expert Travel Advice Drop by on our opening date for a FREE Student Travels magazine!

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The Metropolitan

'T

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September 16, 1994

·*' ports Brie s.

11ey 0 n, d u d e

"---=-up~Co~l!.i~ng---------1

D f . I h R d MSCD and Regis will be hosting the ' 94 Colorado e ensil~de Y ttt~ oda rbulnnfiers Challenge Volleyball Tou. rnament Sept. 16-17 (tonight & · ) h · · were so 1 , ge mg ou e 1gures in digs from five players, tomorrow . .Nort em Michigan,. Cal State B~kersfield ~nd Hang-ten, dudes. including 20 from Terrell. .P ortland State ar~ ranked No. 1,. 4 and 5 m the nation The big kahunas on the sixthMSCD caught the winning IJ~pe<.(~bly, ~SCD ~s No. and J!egis No. ~4. The five teams wave again Saturday in its Will compete in a round-robm format for the title. ranked MSCD women's volleyball Site team kept the winning tide rolling third match and cruised to . a Eriday Sept. 17 Time this weekend, traveling to Davis, 15-7, 9-15, 15-8, 15-10 wm Calif. , for the 1994 Western over the University of PortlandStatevsNorthemMichigan Regis Fieldhouse 10 am.

Auraria Events Center 3 p.m.

Invitational.

California Riverside. .Portland State vs Cal State Bakersfield 7 p.m.

Regis Fieldhouse The Roadrunners, 3-1 in the Five .nlayers for the Cal Northern Michigan vs Regis Auraria Events Center 8 p.m.

I::' State Bakersfield vs MSCD tournament and 7-2 overall, finRoadrunners recorded double figures in kills, including 12 ished second behind Cal State Los Angeles, 4-0. from Terrell. Sophomore Saturday Sept. 18 "We played pretty well, strugStacey Hoyt and Haynes . hed Northam Michigan vs MSCD Aurarla Events Center 10 a.m. gling through only one game," 5a dd ed U· · ·Th e tearn f mis Portland State vs Regis Regis Fieldhouse noon foot-10-inch senior Crissy Canada the match with a .209 attack C8I State Bakersfield vs N. Michigan Regis Fieldhouse 3 p.m. said. "But over all, we came out percenta,ge. ·.

Portland State vs MSCD .

Auraria Events CentBf a p.m. ahead."

"We playe<J fairly well all Ca1StateBakersfield~sR.eg1s RegisFieldhouse ap.m.

MSCD surfed to its first win together," Haynes said. "We Northern M1ch1gan, Po~and State and Cal State, the top of the tourney Friday, beating Cal had our moments when we teams in•the tourney have each won a NCAAlDhdsion II Poly Pomona three games to one, played up and down."

National title in the past five seasons. Northern Michigan 9-15, 15-12, 15-5, 15-8.

The Roadrunners rolled with w~n the tltle tastyear with Portland State winning in '92 Canada and 5-foot-8-inch The Metropolitan/Andy Cross the tide in its final game of the Cal State Bakersfield in '89. senior Chelse~ Terrel~ led the Senior Leslie Weed di 5 a ball Se t. tourn.ament, b~ating Cal State Scoreboard Roadrunners with 13 kills each. g DU P Dommquez Hills, 15-7, 15-5, MSCD women's soccer 3.0 MSCD' . t 5 VIC ory over Senior right side hitter Julie 7 1n · 15-6.

MSCD women's volleyball 7-2 Haynes added 10.

Canada led MSCD with 18 "It was nice to have everybody play in their own kills and a .394 attack percentage. The defense record~~;~~n's soccer l-~, positions," Haynes said. "The weekend before every- ed 62 digs and held Cal State to 21 kills and a .052 ~ one was in different positions because of injuries." attack percentage. ~l}M~~ w°',1en's soccer team h~.~utshot opponents In its second run of the tournament Friday night, "Our communication was a key," Ha):nes said.

71-17 m three games and have outscofed them 16-0. the Roadrunners wiped-out in a five game upset to "Everybody was in their correct places on the court.

Roadrunner goalies Chellie McCourt and Jennifer Pierce hive had to make only 13 saves between them. McCourt 10th-ranked Cal State Los Angeles, 12-15, 15-5, 15- There wasn't a lot of confusion on the court like there , 10, 9-15, 13-15. was the week before." has 6 saves, Pierce has 7.

"We succeeded in not coming out strong enough," You can catch the sixth ranked Roadrunners Sept.

N!ce D 1.a,dies. Qot any advice for the Denver Broncos?

Canada said. "We let down, thinking it would be an 17 and 18 in the Colorado Challenge Tournament at GOoooaaaaaaaaam! easier match. They got the best of us." the Auraria Events Center Nine different Roadrunners have scored goals for the team.

Canada led the Roadrunners with 21 kills, one Aloha dudes! q goals assists short of her personal best set against Air Force on Oct. Rosie Durbin 7 3 6.

SliannortWise.

2 P0 Emma Thompson 1 2 Melissa l}illani 1 2 M~rgan 111 1 1 Jessa Montoya 1 1 23 :32 mark and .Rosie ing teams have managed goalies have had to make Michael BeDan C'Cab Brown 1 q~1 Durbin's (6) penalty kick to take just 17 shots in only 13 saves in three " Kristin B<>wers · 1 "() Sports Editor at 32:00. Durbin (7) three games.

The games (4.3 per game) Ji,~l Volunuth. \ o added another in the sec- Roadrunners have shot while opponents have had Crissy McCain 0 2 The MSCD women's ond half and Jessa the ball 71 times in three to make a whopping 36 Schedule soccer team turned in its Montoya (1), Leah games, including 29 shots (12 per game). "' liif~n's r~tprns home Sept. 29 against USC. third straight shutout per- Brown (1), and Kristin against USC. Results were unavailThe next home date foi:women's soccer is Sept 18, also formance Sept. 10 blast- Bowers (1) all scored Opposing keepers able at press time for ~,,!lP~.fi. mr ing Southern Colorado 6- their first goals of the have been getting pep- games Sept. 14 at ngrats 0 in Pueblo. young season in the sec- pered as the Roadrunners Colorado Christian and -~en's soccer d~feated Cal Poly Pam®a 2-lx, The Roadrunners led ond as well. continue to control the Sept. 16 at Fort Lewis.

Women·ttestroyed ustf6-0 • .,'' ni iWJW' MSCD has yet to be ball in the attacking third 2-nil in the first half off The Colorado Women's volleyball toOk second place last weekend. an unassisted goal by scored on this season in of the field (I mean Challenge begins today at @'" ~::" \'@: ' {l, Shannon Wise (2) at the large part because oppos- pitch).

Roadrunner MSCD.

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September 16, 1994

The Metropolitan

•

men win one

Kick it

Women spike Adams State

Trevor Grimm The Metropolitan

Mark Cicero The Metropolitan

After being shut out in their first two games, it looked like a long season was on the way for the MSCD men's soccer team.

In its first two games, MSCD was outscored 9-0, and their lack of collegiate soccer experience was obvious.

But the Roadrunners finally found the opposition's net Friday afternoon, figured out how to keep the ball out of its own net, and picked up their first win at the same time, defeating Cal Poly Pomona 2-1 at the University of Denver.

This time, MSCD (1-2, 01) wasted no time getting started. Jaime Uhlir opened the game's scoring, and the season's scoring, 4:27 in, when he scored off a cross pass from Mazen Kayali.

The score stayed 1-0 until the second half, when Wade Schaefer scored the eventual winning goal off a short pass from Kayali, giving the Roadrunners a 2-0 edge.

Cal Poly added one goal late, but MSCD held on for its first win of the season.

While just three goals were

The Metropolitan/Andy Cross No. 17 Victor Martinez fights for a ball against DU. U . . f D scored in the game, the two bSy t h7e nh1veArs1ty. oF. ldenver ept at t e urana 1e s teams Combl·ned ~or 43 shots on '' Th .

R d · t goal as Cal Poly outshot e oa runners a1so 1os C ' · S 3 - 1 ept. 13 at o 1ora d o MSCD 26-17 • as defeated 5-0 Chr' ti.

MSCD W is an.

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(aiWidonal copies $1.00 each).

Metrospbere is~

The road to the NCAA National Tournament is paved with many victims. The MSCD women's volleyball team's latest victim was Adams State.

The Roadrunners, currently ranked sixth in the nation, beat the Indians Sept. 7 at Auraria Events Center, 15-13, 15-11, 15-6.

"Something about this team is they are fairly tough mentally," Roadrunner head coach Rhonda Williams said. "Even when they get down they have a tendency to pu~ .\l themselves out." "' In the first two games of the match, the Roadrunners were down early but managed to win.

In game one, MSCD was trailing the Indians 7-3, but won 10 consecutive points and eventually prevailed 15-13.

The pattern continued in game two. The Roadrunners trailed 10-8, but won seven of the last eight points to win 15-11. . "We were a little in~onsis", tent at times," sophomore outside hitter Stacey Hoyt said., "But we played well enough to. h· ·f twin the match. I t tnk 1 we f d t' stay more ocuse at tmes we . b ·1 " will eat teams mored ea~1 yted. b Game three was omma y

MSCD. The Roadrunners jumped out to an early 7-2 lead, but let the Indians score four consecutive points, forcing MSCD to call a time-out. After the time-out, the Roadrunners closed the door on Adams State, winning the last eight points and the game 15-6.

"The thing I didn't like were the rashes of points," Williams said.

"We wouldn't just give up one point and rotate, we'd give up four or five points in a row."

The offense was led by senior outside hitter Chelsea Terrell with 15 kills in 30 attempts. And 5-foot10-inch senior Crissy Can~sfa added 13 in 24 tries.

"I think we played good," Terrell said. "I still think we have a long way to go in terms of improving."

MSCD will face its toughest competition of the year in the Colorado Challenge Volleyball Tournament tonight and tomorrow at the Auraria Events Center and the Regis Fieldhouse.

MSCD will face top ranked Northern Michigan in the tourJiament at 10 a.m. Saturday at the AurariaEvents Center. :if.

Also participating are Cal Stat.e Bakersfield, Portland State and . . 'gh Regis. MSCD opens Fnday m tat fi Id 8 p.m. versus Cal State Bakers e .

Logo Design Contest Artists Wanted for METROSPHERE MSCD's Student Literary and Arts Magazine

m.lent literary and Arts

Guidelines

Magarine produced for and by

• Contest open to MSCD students and Alumni only

MS(D m.den.ts through

the Oftice of Student~

• Entries must be received by October 13, 1994 • Please include name, address, phone number and student l.D. number • Bring to the MSCD Office of Student Publications Tivoli Student Union • Room 313

PICK UP YOIJR COPY TODAY! Tivoli Student Union Room 313

The Metropolitan

The Calendar is a free service of The Metropolitan for students, faculty and staff of the Auraria Campus. Calendar items for MSCD receive priority due to space limitations. Fonnsfor calendar items are available at The Metropolitan office, Suite 313 of the Tivoli Student Union. The Metropolitan reserves the right to edit calendar items for space considerations or to refuse any items we deem unsuitable for publication.

..............

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Menorah Ministries hosts a Jewish Messiah and Biblical Historical Jewish Roots of Christianity information table every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., at the main entrance lobby of the North classroom building. Info: 722-0944.

Menorah Ministries host a Truth Bible Study every M<?nday, Wednesday and Thursday from 3 to 6 p.m. in Suite 355 of the Tivoli Student Union. Come and go as needed for fellowship and Truth Bible Study. Info: 722-0944.

Volunteers are needed by Colorado Save Outdoor Sculpture! to survey all publi~ly accessible outdoor sculptures in tlie state of Colorado in a year-long project coordinated by the University of Colorado at Denver, Fine Arts Department. Info: 5566259.

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Last day to waivy 1 reinstate or purchase MSCD's Health Insurance.

Last day to waive CoPIRG fee on telephone.

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MSCD's Career Services presents a free Mock Interview Workshop from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. in the Arts Building, Suite 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at 556-3664, or in person in the Arts Building. Workshops are targeted towards students in their last academic year who are preparing for their job search after graduation.

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Microfiche Copying Binding Auraria Library • Main Floor • 556-2571

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MSCD's Bahai Club presents "The Russian People's Search for Spiritual Values During and After Communism" at 7:30 p.m., 225 E. Bayaud Ave. Free, all welcome. Info: 322-8997.

2nd module - last day to drop and have class deleted from academic record.

MSCD's· Career Services presents a free Employment Services Orientation from 10 to 11:30 a.m. in the Arts Building, Suite 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at 556-3664, or in person in the Arts Building. Orientations are targeted towards students in their last academic year who are preparing for their job search after graduation.

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MSCD' s Career Services presents a free Mock Interview Workshop from 1 to 3:30 p.m. in the Arts Building, Suite 177.

Sign-ups may be made by phone at 5563664, or in person in the Arts Building.

Workshops are targeted towards students in their last academic year who are preparing for their job search.

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Degree candidates clear status reports.

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MSCD 's Career Services presents a free Employment Services Orientation from 5 to 6:30 p.m. in the Arts Building, Suite 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at 556-3664.

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A free Scholarship Workshop will be held from 2 to 3 p.m. in the Tivoli Student Union, Suite 642. Everyone is welcome.

Info: 556-8441.

2nd module begins.

Laminating

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A free seminar and slide show on ..·Modeling - How to Get Started" will be presented from 1 to 2:30 p.m. at Allan's Photography Unlimited, 2171 S. Trenton Way, Suite 208, Denver. Info: 743-0616.

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MSCD's Career Services presents a free Job Search Strategies Workshop from 10 a.m. to noon in the Arts Building, Suite 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at 556-3664, or in person in the Arts Building. Workshops are targeted towards students in their last academic year who are preparing for their job search after graduation.

.................

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Info: 556-8441.

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MSCD's Career Services presents a free MSCD's Student Activities presents an Resumes That Work Workshop from 1:30 "All Campus Leadership Training" from to 3:30 p.m. in the Arts Building, Suite noon to 5 p.m . in the Tivoli Student 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at Union. Ready-Develop your vision for 556-3664, or in person in the Arts what you want to accomplish. Set-Learn Building. Workshops are targeted towards new skills including communication, students in their last academic year who creativity, and understanding group are preparing for their job search after . dynamics. Go-Be inspired by a motivagraduation. · tional speaker who has some ideas about achieving all you can be. Registration fee Full-term classes - last day to withdraw is $5. Info: 556-2595. with NC; faculty signature not required. '

MSCD's Career Services presents a free Employment Services Orientation from MSCD's Career Services presents a free 10:30 a.m. to noon in the Arts Building, Employment Services Orientation from 3 Suite 177. Sign-ups may be made by to 4:30 p.m. in the Arts Building, Suite phone at 556-3664, or in person in the 177. Sign-ups may be made by phone at Arts Building. Orientations are targeted 556-3664, or in person in the Arts towards students in their last academic Building. Orientations are targeted year who are preparing for their job towards students in their last academic search after graduation. year who are preparing for their job search after graduation.

MSCD's Bahai Club presents "Religion, Civilization, and the Historical Process" A free Scholarship Workshop will be held at 7:30 p.m., 225 E. Bayaud Ave. Free, all from 10 to 11 a.m. in the Tivoli Student welcome. Info: 322-8997.

Union, Suite 642. Everyone is welcome.

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