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DISNEY ON ICE CELEBRATES 100 YEARS OF MAGIC
ALBERT SNODGRASS
In the News
I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many.” “That one is a freebie.” What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spectater. Interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Me: “Listening. Yes I’d say listening is my biggest weakness.” “Waitress, can I ask you something about the menu please?” Waitress (slaps me round the face): “That’s none of your business!” As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself... “This takes me back.” I’m deathly afraid of elevators. I take a lot of steps to avoid them.
15/8/1969 - Woodstock opens its gates. 16/8/1819 - Peterloo Massacre. 17/8/1982 - The first Compact Discs (CDs) are released to the public in Germany. 18/8/2005 - A Massive power blackout hits the Indonesian island of Java, affecting almost 100 million people, the largest and most widespread poweroutage in history. 19/8/1940 - First flight of the B-25 Mitchell medium bomber. 20/8/1940 - British Prime Minister Winston Churchill makes the fourth of his famous wartime speeches, containing the line “Never was so much owed by so many to so few.” 21/8/1938 - NASA loses contact with the Mars Observer spacecraft.
Born this week... 5/8/1972 16/8/1972 17/8/1943 18/8/1904 19/8/1931 20/8/1971 21/8/1978
Ben Affleck Frankie Boyle Robert De Niro Max Factor Willie Shoemaker David Walliams Peter Buxton
PUB QUIZ 1.
Which is the highest rank in the Royal Navy?
2.
Richard Noble set a land speed record of 633.468 miles per hour driving which car?
The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.” Now I can’t open the oven because the door faces the wall!
3.
Which Yann Martel novel won the Booker Prize in 2002?
4.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom? Linoleum Blownapart.
The life of entertainer Fanny Brice inspired which musical film starring Barbra Streisand?
5.
King Richard II used which wild creature as his personal badge?
6.
Edmund Barton was the name of which southern hemisphere country’s first Prime Minister?
7.
Which Whitbread Book Award winning novel by Mark Haddon, is about a 15-year-old boy who describes himself as “a mathematician with some behavioural difficulties” living in Swindon?
8.
What was Desperate Dan’s favourite food?
9.
What is the term used for a word or phrase created by rearranging the letters of a word or name or phrase?
A pun walks into a bar, ten people die on the spot. Pun in, ten dead.
READER COMPETITION
Why don’t pirates travel on mountain roads? ‘Scurvy.
To win a family ticket (4 People, at least 1 Adult) to this spectacular show simply send your answer to the following question along with a daytime telephone number to info@ mercurynewspaper.co.uk before Wednesday 28th August.
My wife is mad I have no sense of direction. So I packed my bags and right.
What is the name of Mickey Mouse’s pet dog? A) Pluto B) Jupiter C) Mars
THIS WEEK
My wife and my family are leaving me because of my obsession with watching horse racing on TV. “And they’re off!” Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, “I love you.” She asked: “Is that you or the beer talking?” I said: “It’s me, talking to the beer.”
10. Who was the winged goddess of victory in Greek mythology?
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7) Eye part (6) 8) Surrounded land (6) 9) Bop (4) 10) Eastern taxi (8) 11) Overtaken (6) 13) Integrated group (4) 14) Breathable gas (3) 16) So be it (4) 17) Whoever (6) 19) Energetically active (8) 21) Handle (4) 22) Amenable (6) 23) Pour forth (6)
Down
1) Correctly reasoned (7) 2) Leg bend (4) 3) Female fury (8) 4) Musical recording (4) 5) Word list (8) 6) Embed (5) 12) Emblematic (8) 13) Move elsewhere (8) 15) Examiner (7) 18) Enlarge sideways (5) 20) Alone (4) 21) Umbrage (4)
Last Weekʼs Solutions ACROSS: 7) Ante, 8) Opulence, 9) Lousy kicker, 11) Anon, 12) Abnormal, 13) Reveller, 15) Seal, 16) Breadcrumbs, 18) Stiletto, 19) Dial DOWN: 1) Uncounted, 2) Season, 3) Cocktail party, 4) Subcontractor, 5) Veneer, 6) Ice, 10) Canal boat, 14) Enrols, 15) Sturdy, 17) Ate
ANSWERS ON PAGE 2
Grab your Mickey ears and get ready for the celebration of the century as Disney On Ice celebrates 100 Years of Magic. Mouse-ter of Ceremonies Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and pals take to the ice to honour the legacy of Walt Disney and welcome audiences on a magical journey through classic and modern Disney tales. Families will join the fun in an exciting opening number that salutes Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse as the original hosts of Disney On Ice. The production will be skating into Sheffield at the FlyDSA Arena from the 6th – 10th November 2019. tickets are now on general sale from www. disneyonice.co.uk or www.flydsaarena.co.uk. Tickets purchased online at www.flydsaarena.co.uk and through the ticket hotline on 0114 256 5656 are priced £19.80 - £56.60 including fees. This fanfare production features more than 50 unforgettable Disney stars, a sing-along score of melodious masterpieces, stunning choreography, beautiful costumes and intricate sets. Audiences will travel to the heart of Africa with Disney’s The Lion King, come along for an adventure in friendship with the gang from Disney•Pixar’s Toy Story, and watch in amazement as Belle breaks the Beast’s curse in the tale of Beauty & The Beast. Fans will enter the magical kingdom of Arendelle from Disney’s Frozen and journey up the North Mountain with hilarious snowman Olaf and rugged mountain-man Kristoff, as they help royal sisters Anna and Elsa discover that true love conquers all. “This particular production is by far the largest Disney On Ice show we currently have touring bringing together everyone’s favourite Disney
characters from Snow White, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse to Elsa and Anna,” said Producer Nicole Feld. “Our vision is for audiences everywhere to dance and sing along to their favourite Disney songs, so we’ve included 30 tunes that they know and love.” This year’s Disney On Ice production celebrates some of Disney’s most beloved characters from 14 treasured stories. Audiences will find themselves dancing out of their seats as a collection of Disney melodies like “Hakuna Matata,” “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” and “Let It Go” fills the arena.” Fans can rock out to “Turtle Rock” with Nemo, Dory, Squirt and his rambunctious turtle friends, and fall in love with a musical montage of dazzling prince and princess pairs skating to “At Last I See the Light,” “A Whole New World” and more. “This is a show, more than any other, which is truly for everybody,” said Producer Kenneth Feld. “When I sit with the audience, I see those that are grandparents, like I am, enjoying a lot of the classic Disney stories, while young kids and parents really respond to modern day favourites like Frozen.”
Weekly Wit With...