The Loafer, Feb. 28th, 2012 Issue

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February 28, 2012 Volume 26, Issue 12

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` .1:3CA^2'($3.8()3;$%;(L:3/*_.1?()2%&%;<` D$$*.1?()2%&(/(;2&*.)(*.::(C2(1*.;1*C"#$%&'(1*#A*2'(*C"#$%&'()*"C3;*2'(*)(C)(&(;2.2%3;*2'.2*2'(*.<(;:A*.;1X3)*.1?()2%&()*%&*."2'3)%a(1*23*C"#$%&'*2'(*(;2%)(*:3;2(;2&*.;1*&"#b(:2*/.22()*2'()(38L>'(*.<(;:A*.;1X3)*.1?()2%&()*\%$$*%;1(/;%8A*.;1* &.?(*2'(*C"#$%&'()*'.)/$(&&*8)3/*.;A*$3&&*38*(MC(;&(*)(&"$2%;<*8)3/*:$.%/&*3)*&"%2&*#.&(1*"C3;*:3;2(;2&*38*.;A*.1?()2%&(/(;2I%;:$"1%;<*:$.%/&*3)*&"%2&*83)*1(8./.2%3;I$%#($I)%<'2*38*C)%?.:AIC$.<%.)%&/I.;1*:3CA)%<'2*%;8)%;<(/(;2L

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It is the ultimate dream for any race fan… riding around Bristol Motor Speedway with a NASCAR superstar during pre-race ceremonies at one of racing’s biggest events. Now, that dream can be a reality thanks to the Ride of a Lifetime online auction.

Race fans can bid for the opportunity to hop aboard one of the Ford pre-race vehicles with their favorite Sprint Cup Series racer prior to the March 18 Food U%!7#LVVB#H'(#?%))%)9#@%,,(.&# will make a lap around the “World’s Fastest Half-Mile” with

their selected competitor during driver introductions.

In addition to taking an exciting lap around BMS during driver intros, each winner and a guest will receive cold pit passes !"#$%&%!#!'(#%)*(+,#-&# .-/(#!(-0&#0-1(#*)-+# preparations for the main event.

Drivers participating in the Ride of a Lifetime auction are Dale Earnhardt Jr., Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, Kevin Harvick, Carl Edwards, Ryan Newman, Matt Kenseth, Kyle Busch, Kurt Busch, Jeff Burton, Greg 2%34(5#6"(7#8"9-)"5#:-;+#<()-.,5# Aric Almirola and David Gilliland. =++#>."/((,&#?%++#@()(*!#!'(# Bristol Chapter of Speedway Children’s Charities.

Bidders must be 18 years of age. The auction begins Monday, February 27 and runs through Monday, March 12. The auction takes place online at www.bristol. speedwaycharities.org.

The winning bidder may elect to give up his or her ride to a family member or friend. This will be permitted as long as the person is at least 12 years of age.

Fans wishing to participate, but who lack internet access, may do so by mailing in bids to: Bristol Motor Speedway, “Ride of a Lifetime” Auction, Attn. Betsy A"++(0-)5#:BCB#2"D#EFGG5#2.%&!"+5# HI5#EJGKLB#=)7")(#?%&'%)9#!"# mail bids are asked to notify Hol+(0-)#-!#MNKEO#FPFQGFJLB :-70()!#3".#?%))%)9#-;/!%")&# must be received in full by Thurs,-75#<-./'#RLB##:-70()!#0(!'",&# available include check, money order, VISA, MasterCard or Discover. Winning bidders will receive a full refund in the event of inclement weather and cancel-

lation of driver introductions.

A March race weekend package also is available starting at SFF#!'-!#%)/+;,(&#!'(#T"",#U%!7# LVV#-),#!'(#I-!%")?%,(WXYI# :."#Z(.%(&#[-&!#($()!&B#=#>-/1-9(# in the Wallace Tower for both Sprint Cup races also is now -$-%+-@+(#3".#SFF5#?'%+(#>-/1-9(&# 3".#3-)&#RL#-),#7";)9(.#-.(#-$-%+able for the March races at half price. Lower row seating for the T"",#U%!7#LVV#%&#-$-%+-@+(5#?%!'# !%/1(!&#&!-.!%)9#-!#SGLB BMS season tickets, which %)/+;,(#!'(#T"",#U%!7#LVV#M<-./'# RPO#-),#\]^\I#H""+&#I%9'!#]-/(# M=;9B#KLO#Z>.%)!#U;>#.-/(&5#-&# well as the Nationwide events -),#!'(#XYI#.-/(5#-+&"#-.(#")# &-+(B#:.%/%)9#3".#-++#3";.#.-/(&# @(9%)&#-!#_;&!#SRJL#%)#!'(#^-++-/(# Tower.

For more information about tickets, please visit www.bristoltix.com or call the BMS ticket "3*/(#-!#NKEQ2]\ZHC8#".#RQPGGQ NRLQNRLPB

www.theloaferonline.com

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While any event at Bristol Motor Speedway is exhilarating, sliding through the window of a race car and tackling the high banks is an experience no true fan should miss.

C)#T.%,-75#<-./'#RG5#!'(#]%/'-.,# :(!!7#`.%$%)9#[D>(.%()/(#]%,(Q Along program allows fans to suit up and feel the extreme speed and excitement of making laps around the “World’s Fastest Half-Mile” with a Driving Experience instructor.

2(9%))%)9#-!#F#>B0B5#3-)&#/-)#&+%># on a racing suit and climb aboard a ]%/'-.,#:(!!7#`.%$%)9#[D>(.%()/(# machine for three laps around NASCAR’s most popular track.

U"&!#3".#!'(#.%,(Q-+")9#%&#SRLF# per person. To guarantee a spot, 3-)&#&'";+,#>.(Q.(9%&!(.#-!#RQPVVQ KEJQEPPF#".#-!#???B,.%$(>(!!7B/"0B# Riders should be 14 years of age or &!-),#-!#+(-&!#Na#!-++#-),#?(%9'#PV# pounds.

A limited number of rides are available, so anyone interested should register promptly. If the ]%,(Q=+")9#&/'(,;+(#%&#)"!#*++(,# by the day of the event, walk-ups will be accepted. Those who are pre-registered should arrive at the BMS garage entrance– near eleva!".#!"?(.#b#c#EV#0%);!(&#>.%".#!"# session.

In the case of inclement weather, participants get a credit that may be ;&(,#-!#-)7#]%/'-.,#:(!!7#`.%$%)9# Experience event for up to one year.

A portion of the proceeds from !'(#]%/'-.,#:(!!7#`.%$%)9#[D>(.%-

()/(#]%,(Q=+")9&#@()(*!&#!'(#2.%&!"+# Chapter of Speedway Children’s U'-.%!%(&B#ZUU#%&#-#)")Q>."*!# organization which raises funds for children’s agencies in Northeast Tennessee and Southwest Virginia.

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-%;1%(Z(&2*Z(.2")(&*-3/(;*38*Z.%2'* Great gales of talent arrive in Jonesborough for the third annual WindieFest, an event celebrating independent women artists and educators during Women’s History <")!'#KVRKB## This year’s programming features Lisa Bansvage, Actor and C.,-%)(,#\)!(.3-%!'#<%)%&!(.5#%)# performance of two one-act plays depicting the lives of women working for social change in America.

A well-seasoned interpreter of historical drama, Bansavage brings the stories to life on stage at the International Storytelling Center in Jonesborough, TN on Satur,-75#<-./'#E.,5#-!#E#>B0B#-),#J# p.m. performances. Her performance includes “Bringing Mercy !"#=0(.%/-5d#-@";!#EEQ7(-.Q"+,# Frances Warde who was the leader of seven Sisters of Mercy nuns sent %)#RPNE#!"#.";9'Q-),Q!;0@+(#:%!!&burgh from Carlow, Ireland. By the time of Warde’s death in 1884, she and her fellow Mercy nuns had /.(-!(,#0".(#!'-)#EVV#'(-+!'#-),# (,;/-!%")-+#%)&!%!;!%")&#%)#KL#&!-!(&# from coast to coast. They also took

-/!%$(#."+(&#%)#*9'!%)9#3".#_;&!%/(# on behalf of immigrants, slaves, Native Americans, women and the poor. Also included is “Seeing Christ in Everyone” about Dorothy `-75#-+&"#1)"?)#-&#-#:.">'(!#"3# :-/%*&0B##\!#"33(.&#-#$%$%,#>".!.-%!# of American journalist Dorothy `-7#MRPFJQRFPVO5#?'"#/"Q3";),(,# the Catholic Worker newspaper in !'(#RFEV&#-),#-#3-.Q.(-/'%)9#&"/%-+# movement that “comforted the -34%/!(,#-),#-34%/!(,#!'(#/"03".!-@+(dB#H",-7#"$(.#RPL#U-!'"+%/# Worker communities worldwide embody Day’s mission to put into modern practice the core Christian principles of charity and nonviolence.

Bansavage is recognized regionally for her prior portrayal of Captain Hook with Barter Theater, a stint with University of Tennessee’s Clarence Brown Theater as well as her one woman show, Isadora Duncan, for Women’s Resource Center and Jonesborough Repertory Theater, plus interview ")#^"0()#C)#=%.#.-,%"#@."-,/-&!B## A(.#/-.((.#&>-)&#2."-,?-75#C33#

2."-,?-75#.(9%")-+#!'(-!.(5#*+05# television and national commercial credits including MasterClass, Sideman, Turn of the Screw, A Man for All Seasons, The Grapes of Wrath, Grace & Glorie, Mastergate, Red Scare on Sunset, The Changeling, The Country Wife, A View from the Bridge, The Beauty Queen of Leenane, The Sisters Rosenweig, Night of the Iguana, Mississippi Burning, Married to the Mob, Three Men and a Baby, The Fisher King, Diary of Anne Frank, The Loman Family Picnic and a third of the full Shakespearean canon as well as a role opposite Sir Anthony Quayle in the BBC-London production of An Exchange of Gifts. She is a graduate of Carnegie-Mellon University’s theatre conservatory and holds a Masters from The University "3#:%!!&@;.9'#?'(.(#&'(#?-&#!'(# <(..%++#T(++"?B#:.";,#=[=#e)%")# 0(0@(.#&%)/(RFPVB# Lisa is an ordained Interfaith minister.

Following each performance there will be a Talk Back for audi-

Lisa Bansvage

www.theloaferonline.com ences to meet the actor and engage in discussion about the making of these plays, including issues of transformation and discovery, women carving new paths, and social activism.

Ticket purchases for guaranteed seating may be made pre-show by calling the Jonesborough Visitors U()!(.#-!#f#NKEQJLEQRVRV#g!(+hNKEQ JLEQRVRVi#j#SRK#9()(.-+#-,0%&&%")# -),#SRV#3".#&()%".&#-),#&!;,()!&# with an additional handling fee of SRBEV#>(.#!%/1(!B##C)Q&%!(#&-+(&#?%++# @(#-$-%+-@+(#")#-#*.&!Q/"0(Q*.&!Q served basis.

WindieFest participants are also welcome to attend a work&'">5#`-)/(&#"3#e)%$(.&-+#:(-/(5# with simple circle dances from the world’s sacred traditions.

Always taught for the beginner, these dances are created to Honor and embody the Divine Feminine through song and movement.

This multicultural event will celebrate Tara, Kuan Yin, Shaddai, and others as we join hands and hearts to dance with the sacred feminine. Led by Rebecca Nunley, /(.!%*(,#+(-,(.#"3#!'(#`-)/(&#"3# e)%$(.&-+#:(-/(5#?%!'#0;&%/#>."vided by Cheri and Jim Miller and Elaine Kolp.

The workshop is free and open to the public Saturday, March E5#LhRLQGhEV#>0#%)#!'(#+%@.-.7#-!# International Storytelling Center in Jonesborough, TN. For more information about WindieFest, call NKEQNKGQGJGGB

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Irish Delights*%;*G3;(&#3)3"<' Enjoy a day of Irish culture with Irish Delights: Music to Cheer Your Soul & Stories to Touch Your Heart at Jonesborough Visitors Center on Sunday, March 4, with two performances -!#E#>B0B#-),#J#>B0B## :."9.-0#'%9'+%9'!&#%)/+;,(#-# dramatic performance of the 18thcentury epic poem Lament for Art O’Leary, a Christmas story about a small town in Ireland by famed Irish writer John B. Keane, a medieval “fractured fairytale” about a princess and her homicidal queen mother, plus traditional Irish dance tunes and airs as well as a song by the immortal Jimmy Kennedy. Virtuoso tinwhistle player L.E. McCullough and actress Lisa Bansavage offer this dynamic program that celebrates the spirit of Irish history and culture. Dr. McCullough has performed at the White House and on soundtracks for Ken Burns television &>(/%-+&j#<&B#2-)&-$-9(#%&#-#&(-&")(,# performer of historical theatre with 2."-,?-75#*+0#-),#!(+($%&%")#/.(,%!&B# They currently reside in Woodbridge, New Jersey.

After each performance, Dr. McCullough will present a short workshop on Irish music history titled “Irish Traditional Music: Where It’s Been, ^'(.(#\!a&#b"%)9dB##:(">+(#"3#-++#-9(&# and interest levels are welcome.

H%/1(!&#-$-%+-@+(#)"?j#/-++#MNKEO# JLEQRVRV#c#9()(.-+#-,0%&&%")h##SRK5# &!;,()!&#Y#&()%".&h##SRVB

:.(&-+(&#%)/+;,(#SRBEV#'-),+%)9# 3((#-),#9;-.-)!((&#&(-!%)9j#")&%!(# >;./'-&(&#-$-%+-@+(#")#*.&!Q/"0(Q*.&!Q served basis.

L.E. McCullough has been performing and teaching traditional Irish

!'(#^-.)(.#2."!'(.&#*+05#Michael Collins, starring Julia Roberts and Liam Neeson.

A(#'"+,&#-#:'B`B#%)#[!')"0;&%/"+"97#-),#'-&#-;!'".(,#0".(#!'-)#RVV# books and articles on Irish music,

0;&%/#")#!'(#!%)?'%&!+(#-),#4;!(#&%)/(# RFJKB##A(#'-&#.(/".,(,#")#NL#-+@;0&# 3".#=)9(+W[<\5#Z")75#]U=5#^-.)(.# Brothers, Laserlight, Rounder and other independent labels, including &";),!.-/1&#3".#X()#2;.)&a#:2Z#&(.%(&# The West, Lewis and Clark and Not for Ourselves Alone and the score of

including The Complete Irish Tinwhistle Tutor, Favorite Irish Session Tunes, Whistle Around the World and a book of original Irish traditional compositions, St. Patrick Was a Cajun.

U"0>"&(.#"3#);0(.";&#*+05#!(+($%&%")# and stage scores, Dr. McCullough has written

three full-length Celtic ballets with keyboardist T.H. Gillespie (Connlaoi’s Tale, The Healing Cup, Skin WalkersO# choreographed by Martha Graham alumnus David Hochoy.

Lisa Bansavage is an actress whose /-.((.#&>-)&#2."-,?-75#C33#2."-,?-75# .(9%")-+#!'(-!.(5#*+05#!(+($%&%")#-),# national commercial credits (see article, >.($%";&#>-9(5#3".#0".(#%)3".0-!%")OB

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>'(*8";*38*:3;2).

The Historic Jonesborough Dance Society will hold a contra ,-)/(#")#Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#E#-!#JhEV# p.m. at the Historic Jonesborough Visitors Center, 117 Boone Street. :(.3".0%)9#3".#!'(#,-)/(#?%++#@(# Fly By Night, from Asheville, with caller Barbara Groh.

A class for beginners will be held at 7 p.m. Every dancer is encouraged to attend the class to become familiar with dance steps, 3".0-!%")&5#-),#4"?B# X+"),%1(#2-.&5#!'(#"3*/%-+#3."k()# treat of the Historic Jonesborough Dance Society, will be served at the F#>B0B#?-+!k#@.(-1B# This event is open to all. lC;.#,-)/(.&#-.(#.(-++7#9(!!%)9# the hang of it, and the skill level is getting amazingly better,” states ($()!#".9-)%k(.#`-$%,#^%+(7B#lC;.# dance is for all ages. We are getting high school and college dancers along with families and children coming to learn contra dance. Also, you don’t have to have a partner.”

The best way to learn contra dance is by asking a more experienced partner to dance. It’s perfectly acceptable for ladies to ask gentlemen to dance. “We are starting our &($()!'#7(-.5#'-$(#!'(#*)(&!#,-)/(# 4"".#-)7?'(.(#%)#!'(#.(9%")#-),# are booking some of the best bands -),#/-++(.&#%)#!'(#@;&%)(&&B#C;.# program has been a huge success” adds Wiley.

Admission to the dance is $7 for M7(!Q!"Q@(#0(0@(.&O5#SL#3".#A6`Z# members. Full time students get in 3".#SLB#=#T-0%+7#:-/1-9(#'-&#@(()# instituted for members that allows parents and as many children in their core family to get in for only SRLB Fly By Night is led by Karen Gaughan on the piano. Karen is Asheville’s most in-demand contra dance key board player. Gaughan together with her by Fly Night :-.!)(.&5#8-;.-#8()9)%/1#")#*,dle, Beth Magill on Flute and Julia Weatherford on Fiddle, provide a full sound, plenty of rhythm and a really good ride for the avid contra dancer or waltzer.

Their repertoire starts with upbeat traditional New England contra dance tunes chosen with /-.(#!"#*!#!'(#,-)/(#-!#,-)/(able tempos kept rock solid with Gaughan’s thumping bass hand.

The band weaves in lilting Celtic 0(+",%(&#-),#0-1(&#!'(0#47#?%!'# Beth Magill’s achingly beautiful

4;!(#?"$()#!'.";9'#?%!'#*,,+(# harmony. The girls let their hair down with funky, rocking originals. They’ll pull out the percussion toys, and dig deep in to some of their own tunes as well as others !"#1((>#!'(#,-)/(.&#47%)9B# The driving force of the southern *,,+(#!;)(&#%&#8-;.-#-),#6;+%-#?'"# create a small tornado in the room when sawing it down with their twin harmony.

Barbara Groh has spent most of her life in the traditional music and dance scene, starting with square ,-)/%)9#-!#-9(#RE#-),#/")!.-#,-)/ing at age 18. She also played old!%0(#@-)_"#&%)/(#/"++(9(B#\)#RFPF5# Barbara became Caller Coordinator for the Triangle Country Dancers in Chapel Hill, NC. Z'(#+(-.)(,#!"#/-++#?'%+(#*++%)9# in when there was no one available to call a dance. She became very passionate about calling dances and sharing the joy of contra dancing in venues all over the East coast from Florida to New Hampshire.

Her calling experience ranged from small community dances to large dance festivals. She now lives in Asheville, NC, home of one of the most thriving dance communitites in the known universe.

For more information, contact event organizer David Wiley at NKEQLENQPPJF#".#$%&%!#???B'%&toricjonesboroughdancesociety.org and Historic Jonesborough Dance Z"/%(!7#")#T=U[2CCXB

A free public series of contra dances is under way this spring semester at East Tennessee State University with music provided by the ETSU Contraband and the ETSU Celtic Band.

The dance series is sponsored by the Department of Appalachian Studies in the ETSU College of Arts and Sci()/(&B#T(&!%$%!%(&#@(9%)#%)#!'(#`B:B# Culp University Center ballroom at GhEV#>B0B#?%!'#-#@(9%))(.&a#?".1shop followed by the dance itself 3."0#JQFhEV#>B0B “Contra dance is a form of group dancing, with participants +(,#!'.";9'#,%33(.()!#,-)/(#*9;.(&# by a caller,” says Roy Andrade, an assistant professor in ETSU’s 2+;(9.-&&5#C+,QH%0(#-),#U";)!.7# <;&%/#:."9.-05#?'%/'#%&#'";&(,# within the Department of Appalachian Studies. “It’s a little like square dancing, and nothing like line dancing. You are just about guaranteed to leave the dance with a smile – and feel like you’ve gotten some exercise, too!”

The dates of the remaining dances this semester are: Tuesday, Feb. 28 H;(&,-75#<-./'#RE Tuesday, March 27 <"),-75#=>.%+#RF <"),-75#=>.%+#KE# For more information or special assistance for those with disabili!%(&5#/-++#=),.-,(#-!#MNKEO#NEFQJVJKB

www.theloaferonline.com

0)%:.*J"&&3*.2* 2'(*D:3"&2%:* Coffeehouse

!"#$%&'())*&#)&%&+()#$#%,-&).*"/.0110"&%,2&3"0&4*()05&640&)70%8)&9#.4& 2#))*,%,$0-&:#".)&;0.900,&%,<).&%,2&1*=0-&%,2&71%/)&9#.4&.40&$*,=0")0&*>& human relationships.

Erica Russo is coming to the Acoustic Coffeehouse in Johnson City March 2.

Using wood and wire, she collages feelings with images, messages with melodies, and stories with faces, crafting each track with a common thread and an altered stitch.

Born in Providence, RI and soon after traversing the realms of New England, the youngest of three sisters quickly started gathering ghosts of 4*+0)-&."%#1)&*>&71%$0)-&%,2&;1%,80.)&*>&4#).*"/-&7"*3$#0,.1/&$*110$.#,<&)*,<)& 9#.4&#,&.40&$"%$8)&*>&)#209%18)&%,2&>%110,&;"#$8)5&&?4#10&3,2#,<&$*+>*".& *,&.40&"*%2-&)40&4%)&9"#..0,&7"*1#3$%11/-&.*("02&0@.0,)#=01/-&%,2&"0$*"202& consistently. Offering to minds the likes of artists such as Ani Difranco, Joanna Newsom, Kimya Dawson, and Laura Marling, while holding close an individualistic tone, bitter sweet lyrics, and diverse song style.

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c;(/C$3A/(;2*>3")*63;2%;"(&* A&B9*+%,&*,&3"0C&#)&%&<**2&9%/&.*&20)$"#;0&6()%,&D%$4+%,,5& Passionate, caring and multi-talented, her performances validate her amazing voice in varied expressions.

Lachmann’s keen sense of programming intertwines comedy, music and improvisation along with a generous amount of audience participation. “I wholeheartedly believe in community development through the arts,” says Lachmann, “ and every day is a good day to share good material...and life is certainly full of good material! Door prizes are also an absolute must! I want everybody to leave happy... for a good reason!”

E4#)&=%"#0./&)4*9&>*"+%.&#)&31102&9#.4&1%(<4.0"&>*"&0=0"/&40%".%$40-&"0F0$.#*,&*"&(,>(131102&7"*+#)0&/*(C=0&0=0"& been handed.

There’s a healthy dose of irony, too, that comes from working for ‘the man’ in a system that really does not care much for the outspoken. Lachmann brings a spark of genius to an all too often average world plus a healthy dose of good medicine through positive humor.

Opening the show will be Kri and Hettie, a Louisville based female duo creating quote a name for themselves in the music world. They are a fantastic mix of vocals that create a signature sound including folk-rap mixed with a clear, fresh acoustic delivery.

Unemployment Tour in the Bleak Midwinter is a multifaceted show for a multifaceted audience. Tickets are available at the door for this show at Down Home, Main Street, Johnson City, TN Thursday, March 1st at 7:30 p.m.

Grammy winner Holt returns to Jonesborough Four-time Grammy Award winner David Holt is a musician, storyteller, historian, television host and entertainer, dedicated to performing and preserving traditional American music and stories.

Holt is set to visit the Storytelling Capital of the World for two special performances on March 1st and 2nd at the Historic Jonesbor";9'#m%&%!".&#U()!(.#-!#JhEV#>B0B## Holt plays ten acoustic instruments and has released numerous award winning recordings of traditional mountain music

and southern folktales and is well known for his television and radio series. He is host of public television’s Folkways, a North Carolina program that takes the viewer through the Southern Mountains visiting traditional craftsmen and musicians. He can also be seen as -#0;&%/%-)#%)#!'(#>">;+-.#*+05#O Brother Where Art Thou.

A native of Garland, Texas, A"+!a&#3-0%+7#0"$(,#!"#:-/%*/# :-+%&-,(&5#U-+%3".)%-5#?'%+(#'(#?-&# in junior high school. He recalls his early musical and storytelling

%)4;()/(&5#l\#9.(?#;>#%)#-#3-0%+7# of informal storytellers, and there was plenty to tell about our wild and wooly Texas forefathers. Storytelling was just a natural part of family life for me. I never thought about telling stories in public until I began to collect mountain music and came across interesting and unusual anecdotes from mountain folks. I began to use these stories in concerts and realized the power storytelling holds.”

Holt’s resume boasts numerous experiences including four Gram-

my Awards and eight nominations, named “The Best of the New Generation” by Esquire Magazine, inducted into the National Storytelling Association’s Hall of Fame, three-time winner of the FRETS magazine readers’ poll for “Best C+,QH%0(#2-)_"%&!5d#e)%$(.&%!7# of North Carolina “Razor Walker Award” and recipient of North Carolina Folklore Society BrownHudson Folklore Award.

For over three decades, David’s passion for traditional music and culture has fueled a successful per-

forming and recording career. He has performed and recorded with many of his mentors including Doc Watson, Grandpa Jones, Bill Monroe, Earl Scruggs, Roy Acuff and Chet Atkins. Today he tours the country performing solo, with Doc Watson and with his band The Lightning Bolts. For more information about David, please visit www.davidholt.com General admission to the David Holt concert is $12. For tickets or 0".(#%)3".0-!%")5#/-++#NKEBJLEBRVRV# or visit www.jonesboroughtn.org

www.theloaferonline.com

Grandfather Mountain hikes planned Grandfather Mountain’s guided hike series, now in its second year, has four pre-planned hikes to showcase the wonderful scenery and wildlife of the mountain throughout the coming months.

“The interpretive ranger staff is excited to provide the public with opportunities to explore Grandfather’s backcountry while learning about the ecology and history of the Mountain,” said Gabriel Taylor, Grandfather Mountain Stewardship Foundation chief interpretive ranger.

The “Spring to MacRae” '%1(5#"33(.(,#<-7#L#-),# G5#@(9%)&#!'(#&(.%(&B##H'%&# hike offers guests the opportunity to visit MacRae :(-1#-),#?%!)(&&#+%3(# returning to Grandfather after a long winter slum@(.B##A%1(.&#!.-$(.&(#VBF# miles, using cables and seven ladders to gain al0"&!#GVV#3((!#%)#(+($-!%")B## This half-day hike begins -!#F#-B0B#-),#/"&!&#SRL#%)# addition to park admis-

#

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sion.

Second on this year’s lineup is the “Ridgeline of Diversity” hike offered June RG#-),#RJB## As the name suggests, this hike is designed to showcase the unparalleled diversity of animal and plant life in this unique area, while also providing guests with a full panoramic view of the surrounding landscape.

This journey takes hikers 2.4 miles, traversing large boulders, climbing lad,(.&#-),#9-%)%)9#JVV#3((!# in elevation. This trip is an all day commitment and is not for the inexperienced hiker. It begins -!#F#-B0B#-),#/"&!&#SEL#%)# addition to half-price park admission.

C)#6;+7#KP#-),#KF5#!'(# “Grandfather’s Attic” hike @(9%)&#-!#F#-B0B##H'%&#/'-+lenging endeavor involves a hike to Attic Window :(-1#-),#\),%-)#A";&(# Cave over the most rugged terrain on the mountain. During this hike, interpretive rangers will share the story of Grandfather and past historic events that shaped the Mountain into what it is !",-7B##H'%&#!.(1#9-%)&#GVV#

feet in elevation during the 1.2-mile hike. It is a half-day trip that begins -!#F#-B0B# and costs 9;(&!&#SKL# in addition to park admission.

Last of the feature '%1(&j#!'(# “Nature on the Edge” '%1(5#=;9;&!#KL#-),#KG5# showcases the resiliency of plants and animals in the adverse conditions of the mountain. Throughout the journey, interpretive rangers will discuss the needs for habitat and point out signs of survival. This hike travels to <-/]-(#:(-1#-/."&&#VBF# miles using cables and seven ladders to gain al0"&!#GVV#3((!#%)#(+($-!%")B##

This is a half-day trip that @(9%)&#-!#F#-B0B#-),#?%++# /"&!#9;(&!&#SRL#%)#-,,%!%")# to park admission.

For those who are interested in a guided hike, but can’t attend the scheduled trips, additional guided treks are available yearround and can be reserved in advance. Guided hikes can travel to MacRae :(-15#=!!%/#^%),"?#:(-1# -),#U-++"?-7#:(-1#-),# interpretive rangers can !-%+".#!'(#_";.)(7#!"#*!# topics of interest for the participants.

A minimum of four participants is required.

For more information or to schedule a guided hike at Grandfather Mountain, >+(-&(#/-++#PKPQJEJQVPEEB###

WEDNESDAYS

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Country classic: Crystal Gayle at NPAC

<;+!%Q-?-.,#?%))%)9#/";)!.7#-),#>">;+-.#0;&%/#&%)9(.#U.7&!-+#b-7+(#?%++#!-1(#!'(#&!-9(#-!#!'(#I%&?")9(.#:(.3".0%)9#=.!&#U()!(. ")#Z-!;.,-7#($()%)95#<-./'#RV5#JhEV#>B0B C)(#"3#(%9'!#/'%+,.()5#!'(#@+;(Q(7(,#@(-;!7#3."0#!'(#=>>-+-/'%-)#/"-+#0%)%)9#!"?)#"3#:-%)!&$%++(5#Xn#%&#>.";,#"3#'(.#)-0(#?'%/'# came about in an unusual fashion. According to her public relations staff, “Crystal” came at the suggestion of Brenda Gayle Webb’s older sister, Loretta Lynn – who, knowing there was already a “Brenda Lee” successful in the music industry – suggested her younger sibling adopt the name “Crystal” when she began recording. ^'%+(#&'(#?-&#&!%++#%)#&/'""+5#&'(#&%9)(,#'(.#*.&!#.(/".,%)9#/")!.-/!B#A(.#,(@;!#&%)9+(5#I’ve Cried the Blue Right Out Of My Eyes, ?-&#?.%!!()#@7#8".(!!-#87))#-),#.(-/'(,#!'(#H">#KV#")#!'(#)-!%")-+#/";)!.7#0;&%/#/'-.!&B##A(.#*.&!#-+@;0#>."_(/!#@(9-)#-#."++#";!#"3# smash singles to come. Wrong Road Again#@(/-0(#'(.#,(@;!#H">#RV#.(/".,B#I’ll Get Over You#@(/-0(#'(.#*.&!#);0@(.#")(#&%)9+(B By her fourth album, We Must Believe in Magic,#U.7&!-+#b-7+(#@(/-0(#!'(#*.&!#3(0-+(#-.!%&!#%)#/";)!.7#0;&%/#'%&!".7#!"#-/'%($(# platinum album sales. Driving the engine of the album was the song that was to become her enduring career signature song to date, Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue.

Brown Eyes opened the world’s eyes to Crystal Gayle, and she became a household name in homes, grand and small, from Louisville to Leningrad.

A(.#+%&!#"3#>+-!%);0#-),#9"+,#.(/".,#&-+(&#?-&#!"#@(#0-!/'(,#")+7#@7#'(.#-?-.,&#-),#-//"+-,(&B#U<=a&#lT(0-+(#m"/-+%&!#C3#H'(# n(-.5d#3".#!?"#/")&(/;!%$(#7(-.&5#&'(#@(/-0(#-#b.-007#=?-.,#^%))(.#3".#l2(&!#T(0-+(#m"/-+#:(.3".0-)/(5d#!'-)1&#!"#'(.#@(+"$(,5# Brown Eyes – a song that she today admits she has never grown tired of singing. Crystal Gayle swept the Academy of Country Music Awards for three of their “Top Female Vocalist” statuettes. As her music and her career path widened to mainstream audiences – so did her accolades. She is the recipient of three “American Music Awards,” voted by the nation as American’s “Favorite Female Artist.”

Nashville is home to Crystal, her husband Bill Gatzimos, and two children Catherine and Chris. She has an upscale boutique, lU.7&!-+a&5d#?'%/'#%&#")(#"3#!'(#/%!7a&#>.(0%(.(#,(&!%)-!%")&#3".#!'(#0"&!#@(-;!%3;+#9%3!&#-),#*)(&!#_(?(+.7B T".#!%/1(!#%)3".0-!%")5#/-++#!'(#I:=U#2"D#C3*/(#-!#NKEQGEPQRGJF#MC>()#3."0#RRhEV#-B0B#!"#LhEV#>B0B#<"),-7#!'.";9'#T.%,-7OB## I:=U#%&#+"/-!(,#-,_-/()!#!"#b.(()($%++(#A%9'#Z/'""+#-!#KRK#H;&/;+;0#2+$,B#%)#b.(()($%++(5#H())(&&((B## For other information, visit the website at www.greenevillenpac.com.

www.theloaferonline.com

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Audiostrobelight in Bristol Audiostrobelight, the Virginia 2(-/'#*$(Q>%(/(5#%&#-#@+(),#"3#,.%$ing pop-punk, heavy and technical rock, and deliciously electronic pop. Featuring dual vocalists, 1(7@"-.,&5#(+(/!.%/#$%"+%)W0-)dolin, and dance interludes, they bring a truly diverse, high-energy rock show. After a period of rapid growth and change, Audiostrobelight has had the opportunity !"#/"0>+(!(#!?"#[:&5#!'(%.#0"&!# recent release, The Whole Shebang, and tours spanning throughout the east coast and across the Midwest.

Whether playing a basement or an amphitheater, Audiostrobelight is notorious for their high-energy rock show and overall infectiously fun demeanor. Since their inception, they have shared the stage with an impressive collection of major industry names such as Fall C;!#2"75#H-1%)9#2-/1#Z;),-75# Veara, The Wonder Years, Cobra Starship, Anberlin, Say Anything, +44, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Academy Is..., The Ataris, the KVRV#m-)a&#^-.>(,#H";.#-),#0-)7# more.

The band will be at Wood0()#"3#!'(#^".+,#A-++5#RFFJ# Long Crescent Drive, Bristol, m=#MNKEQLENQFPJGOB#H%/1(!&#-.(# $8.

6@* )($(.&(*C.)2A The Dennis Cove Band will be having a CD release party at the Down Home in Johnson City on March 2.

The new CD was recorded at Maggard Studio also used by Blue Highway.

Check out www. denniscoveband. com for more info

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@

Bluegrass legend Doyle Lawson and his @-),#o;%/1&%+$(.#>(.3".0#<-./'#RV#-!#!'(# ^(++0")!#](9%")-+#U()!(.#3".#!'(#:(.3".0Q ing Arts of Northeast State Community College in Blountville at 7 p.m.

Lawson and Quicksilver embarked on the second leg of their benchmark Children’s Hospital and Arena Tour earlier this year. The tour combines National Anthem performances at major sporting arenas with Children’s Hospital visits in the same cities or regions C$(.#'%&#NVQ7(-.#/-.((.#%)#0;&%/5#`"7+(# Lawson – singer, multi-instrumentalist, and bandleader – has become one of the most respected names in bluegrass. Lawson’s name has been synonymous with high-octane acoustic bluegrass music. DLQ burst onto !'(#)-!%")-+#&>"!+%9'!#%)#RFFG#?'()#!'(%.# album, There’s a Light Guiding Me earned a Grammy Award for Best Bluegrass Album.

They went on to receive three more Grammy nominations in the Best Bluegrass Album category.

Lawson, winner of the National Endowment for the Arts National Heritage Fellowship, has garnered no less than 14 International Bluegrass Music Awards and four Grammy nominations. The band also earned four previous Dove Award nominations for the Best Bluegrass Gospel Album and Best 2+;(9.-&&#b"&>(+#Z")9#-?-.,&#3".#!'(%.#KVVP# release, Help Is on the Way. DLQ won several awards from the International Bluegrass Music Association, winning Vocal Group of the Year six consecutive 7(-.&#3."0#KVVRQKVVJB##H'(#Z"/%(!7#3".#!'(# :.(&(.$-!%")#"3#2+;(9.-&&#<;&%/# in America has honored the group with numerous awards for albums and recorded gospel songs.

The Gospel Music Association '")".(,#`8o#-9-%)#%)#KVRR#?%!'# a Dove Award nomination for Bluegrass Album of the Year.

Lawson began playing the mandolin at age 12 and picked up the guitar and banjo soon thereafter. His prowess got him noticed quickly. He went on to play with bluegrass innovators Jimmy Martin and J.D. Crowe before _"%)%)9#'%&#*#.&!#@-),5#H'(#U";)!.7# Gentlemen.

A(#3";),(,#o;%/1&%+$(.#%)#RFJF# and began a decade-long rise as one of the genre’s most popular and critically praised artists.

Although the lineup has changed many times over the years, the DLQ sound remains true to its founder’s intentions. =,$-)/(#!%/1(!&#-.(#SKV#(-/'# and can be purchased online now at www.NortheastState.edu. For more information call the North(-&!#Z!-!(#2"D#C3*#/(#NKEBELNBLRJEB

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Funeral for a Gangster 8"/-+#!'(-!.%/-+#/"0>-)75#H?"#:()/(#:.",;/!%")&5#?%++#@(#&!-9%)9#!'(#%)!(.-/!%$(#07&!(.7W comedy Funeral for a Gangster#@7#[%+(()#<";&'(7#-!#!'(#)(?#U-&@-'#H'(-!.(#+"/-!(,#-!#PVJ# ^B#^-+);!#Z!.((!5#@('%),#!'(#\!-+%-)#:%kk-#:;@5#%)#6"')&")#U%!7B \!#%&#RFKP#2.""1+7)#-),#!.-9(,7#'-&#&!.;/1#!'(#3(-.(,#<-.k(!!%#3-0%+7B H'(#3-0(,#<-*"&"5#m%!"#lH'(#b;!d#<-.k(!!%5#?-&#9;))(,#,"?)#+-&!#?((1#-!#'%&#3-$".%!(# U'%)(&(#(-!(.7#?'%+(#()_"7%)9#'%&#!'%.,#".,(.#"3#<""#b""#b-%#:-)B ];0".&#>(.&%&!#!'-!#=)9;&#lH'(#Z/"!d#<-/`")-+,#?-&#&(()#4((%)9#!'(#/.%0(#&/()(B#<-/Donald’s calling card, a bouquet of heather, was found near Marzetti’s bullet ridden body. <-.k(!!%a&#M0;/'O#7";)9(.#?%3(#?-&#!-1()#%)#3".#p;(&!%")%)9#-),#.(+(-&(,B Federal agents have been called in to investigate the crime.

Z(.$%/(&#-.(#!"#@(#'(+,#-!#];@7a&#:+-/(5#!'(#&>(-1(-&7BBB#(.BBB#/"33(('";&(#.;)#@7#m%!"a&#")+7# daughter, Ruby “Fingers” Marzetti. Ruby asks that mourners please bring cash and smokes %)#+%(;#"3#4"?(.&B#];@7#-+&"#>+-)&#!"#>+-7#!'(#>%-)"#-!#&"0(#>"%)!#,;.%)9#!'(#&(.$%/(B What kind of crud could commit such a heinous crime? There’s a whole slew of suspects: Vito’s young widow, Lena Marzetti, stands to inherit everything. His eldest son, Joey “The Lump” Marzetti, is primed to take the reins of the Marzetti clan but he seems to be rather '"!#'(-,(,#-),#'-&#-#.(>;!-!%")#3".#$%"+()/(B#:+;&5#'(a&#)"!#!""#@.%9'!B It seems that the only one without a motive is Vito’s youngest son, Frankie. However, Frankie has seven other personalities and any one of them could be holding a grudge.

U-)#7";#*),#!'(#?(-&(+#@(3".(#'(#M".#&'(O#&!.%1(&#-9-%)q#C.#%&#%!#">()#&(-&")#")#!'(#<-.zettis?

Funeral for a Gangster stars Derek Smithpeters, Tod C. Riddle, Dina Haines, Adrian Thomas, and Ashley Seehorn as Ruby.

Z'"?#,-!(&#-.(#<-./'#F5#RV5#RG5#RJ5#KE5#KN5#EV#-),#ER#-!#J#>B0B :-.!%/%>-)!&#-.(#()/";.-9(,#!"#/"0(#,.(&&(,#%)#!'(%.#4-&'%(&!#RFKVa&#-!!%.(B Due to adult language and situations, Funeral for a Gangster is intended for mature audi()/(&#")+7B#H%/1(!#>.%/(&#-.(#SEV#>+;&#!-D#-),#%)/+;,(#->>(!%k(.&5#-#+-.9(#>%kk-#@;33(!5#-),# beverages. There will also be a cash bar. For questions or reservations, or information on '"?#!"#@""1#>.%$-!(#>-.!%(&5#/-++#H?"#:()/(#:.",;/!%")&#-!#MNKEO#KVKQEGGVB

#

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6%2A*e3"2'*,.$$(2*C)(&(;2&* (M:()C2&*8)3/*Cinderella

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The City Youth Ballet of Johnson City will bring to stage Cinderella, her prince, a troupe of fairies, W and other dancers in a children’s ballet set for 2 p.m. Saturday, March 3, at the CYB studios. ni The ballet, part of CYB’s popular Lollipop series, showcases classical ballet and a familiar story p a so that children can be exposed to this beautiful form of art.

The ballet will include several excerpts from the full-length ballet of Cinderella plus a ballet lessonm for the audience goers. Taylor Vanders, a senior CYB dancer, portrays Cinderella with Dylan Yacks, p an ETSU student, as the prince.

“This is an excellent chance for children to see ballet up close and enjoy its beauty,” said Susan 3t Pace-White, CYB’s artistic director.

3 Admission is $5 at the door.

The CYB studios are located at 3501 W. Market Street, in west Johnson City. For more information 3o visit www.cityyouthballet.org or call 423-434-2195. a

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40EEKDf*EKRB* 23*,(;(92*E(:3;1* f.)?(&2*Z331*,.;5* H'(#&($()!'#-));-+#l<(&&%-'#Z%)9Q=+")9d#?%++#@(#'(+,#")#Z;),-75#<-./'#N#-!#EhVV# >B0B#-!#T%.&!#:.(&@7!(.%-)#U';./'5#6"')&")#U%!75#H())(&&((B##`")-!%")&#%)#-)7#-0";)!#-.(# 9.-!(3;++7#-//(>!(,#-!#!'(#,"".j#SRVBVV#%&#&;99(&!(,B##=++#>."/((,&#9"#!"#@()(*!#!'(#Z(/"),# Harvest Food Bank.

At this event, sponsored by The Civic Chorale, everybody is encouraged to bring their own score of Handel’s “Messiah” and join with the Chorale and accompanist Lisa Runner in singing this wonderful music. The Messiah Sing is not designed so much as a perfor0-)/(#3".#!'(#@()(*!#"3#+%&!()(.&5#-+!'";9'#!'(7#-.(#?(+/"0(5#@;!#3".#>-.!%/%>-)!&B### According to conductor, David Hendricksen, about two-thirds of the entire oratorio will be included, drawing on all three of the main sections of Handel’s work. “We will also include some of the solos for each voice part, so that folks who normally only sing this music %)#!'(%.#&'"?(.#?%++#'-$(#!'(#/'-)/(#!"#_"%)#?%!'#"!'(.&#%)#&%)9%)9#%!#%)#!'(#*)(#-/";&!%/&#"3# T%.&!#:.(&@7!(.%-)#U';./'Bd# While singers are encouraged to bring their own music, The Civic Chorale will have music for sale for those who wish to purchase a copy, and there will also be a limited number of scores available for loan for the event.

In past years, The Civic Chorale has held the Messiah Sing in December. However, when Georg F. Handel initially wrote the oratorio, it was to be performed during the liturgical season of Lent, beginning on Ash Wednesday and leading to Easter. After several years of uncertain weather restricting participation in December, The Civic Chorale is moving this J!'#<(&&%-'#Z%)9#!"#!'(#8()!()#&(-&")#!"#.(4(/!#%!a&#'%&!".%/-+#".%9%)5#-),#!"#!-1(#-,$-)!-9(# of reduced likelihood of snowy roads.

H'(#U%$%/#U'".-+(#?-&#3";),(,#%)#RFJE#@7#]"@(.!#8-:(++-#?%!'#-#&0-++#9.";>#"3#%)$%!(,# &%)9(.&#-),#6-)(#8-:(++-#-&#!'(#9%3!(,#-//"0>-)%&!B##C$(.#!'(#7(-.&5#!'(#9.";>#'-&#9."?)# to become the region’s premiere auditioned volunteer chorus. In addition to singing the standard choral repertoire from Gregorian chant to modern compositions, the Chorale has presented numerous world and regional premieres and frequently collaborated with other music organizations in the region, including the Symphony of the Mountains, the Johnson U%!7#Z70>'")7#C./'(&!.-5#-),#!'(#[-&!#H())(&&((#U'%+,.()a&#U'"%.B# Z%)/(#RFFP5#!'(#U'".-+(#'-&#@(()#+(,#@7#/"),;/!".#`-$%,#A(),.%/1&()B##=//"0>-)%&!&# are Lisa Runner, piano, and David Runner, organ. For additional information, visit the U'".-+(#?(@#&%!(#-!#???B!'(/%$%//'".-+(B".9##".#/")!-/!#!'(#/"),;/!".#@7#>'")(#-!#NKEQGEPQ VNVF#".#@7#(0-%+#-!##/"),;/!".,-$%,r(0@-.p0-%+B/"0

Color Me Bad

The William King Museum: Center for Art and Cultural Heritage is pleased to announce %!&#)(?(&!#(D'%@%!%")#U"+".#<(#2-,h#=)%0-!%")5#:">5#Z-!%.(B#H'%&#(D'%@%!%")#?%++#">()#")# <-./'#F#-),#.(0-%)#")#,%&>+-7#!'.";9'#=;9;&!#RK#%)#!'(#e)%!(,#U"0>-)7#](9%")-+#=.!# Gallery.

The idea of an aesthetic fusion of popular culture with Appalachian vernacular in many ?-7&#%)$%!(&#-#/-+-0%!7#"3#>.%)/%>+(&#-),#!-&!(B#2.%-)#U+%)(@(++5#:(!(.#<".9-)5#-),#6(&&%/-# Walker grew up in Abingdon at the end of twentieth century with color televisions and new-media saturation yet surrounded by the tchotchkes and Americana that are favored in the mountains of Appalachia. The work in this exhibition will focus on art-making as a place for humor and social critique as well as present alternative applications of animation and graphic imagery. Collectively the work will offer an unexpected narrative about what it means to be from this unique region and new generation of artists.

The Museum would like to thank Brian Clinebell for creating the cover artwork for the postcard and the gallery guide being used for this exhibition ](+-!(,#($()!&#%)/+;,(#!'(#C>()%)9#](/(>!%")#3".#U"+".#<(#2-,#")#H';.&,-75#<-./'#P# 3."0#G#!"#P#>B0B#-),#%&#3.((#-),#">()#!"#!'(#>;@+%/B#8%9'!#.(3.(&'0()!&#?%++#@(#&(.$(,#-&#$%&%tors have a sneak peak at the newest WKM exhibition. ^%++%-0#X%)9#<;&(;0#%&#">()#3."0#RV#-B0B#!"#L#>B0B#H;(&,-75#^(,)(&,-7#-),#T.%,-7j# 3."0#RV#-B0B#!"#F#>B0B#H';.&,-7j#-),#R#>B0B#!"#L#>B0B#Z-!;.,-7#-),#Z;),-7B#=,0%&&%")#%&#SL# 3".#-,;+!&#-),#SE#3".#&()%".&B#<(0@(.&5#&!;,()!&#-),#/'%+,.()#-.(#3.((B#T".#0".(#%)3".0-!%")# on this exhibition, related events, and all other Museum on-goings, please visit us on the web at www.WilliamKingMuseum.org.

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MARQUETTE

MARK

Stargazer

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H'(#EGG!'#,-7#-,,(,#!"#!'(#-0-k%)9#KVRK#7(-.#"3#2+;(#<"")&5#m();&#>-&&%)9#%)#3.")!# of the Sun, and an apocalyptic Winter Solstice just stirs the interest in things not of this Earth.

C3#/";.&(#\#.(3(.#!"#!'(#=k!(/#U-+(),-.#!(.0%)-!%)9#0-)1%),#")#!'(#*.&!#,-7#"3#?%)!(.# this Dec. 21st. =),#")#6;)(#L!'#,;.%)9#!(+($%&%")#($()%)9#)(?&#>.%0(#!%0(5#!'(#&(/"),#>+-)(!#m();&# ?%++#>-&&#%)#3.")!#"3#!'(#Z;)#3".#3";.#'";.&j#&"0(!'%)9#)"!#!"#@(#&(()#-9-%)#3".#RRP#7(-.&B `")a!#3".9(!#?(#'-$(#!?"#T;++#<"")&#%)#=;9;&!5#")#!'(#R&!#-),#!'(#EV!'B##=),#'"?# about all the “numerology” fun this January and February as we wrote out dates like “112-12,” “1-22-12,” “2-2-12,” and “2-11-12.” Write more Christmas checks on 12-12-12!

Leap Day will be documented by leaps and bounds in every media source, so most people will understand what’s going on.

If we didn’t add an extra day every four years, the calendar would start to get out of whack.

Why? 2(/-;&(#";.#[-.!'#!-1(&#EGLBKNKK#,-7&#!"#'%!#!'(#(D-/!#l&!-.!W*)%&'d#+%)(#"3#";.# PVVQ0%++%")Q0%+(#".@%!#-.";),#!'(#Z;)5#_;&!#/";)!%)9#!"#EGL#,-7&#+(-$(&#;&#&'".!#"3#-)# (D-/!#*)%&'#+%)(B#\!a&#-@";!#G#'";.&#&'".!#(-/'#7(-.B Time adds up, and celestial time is exact as preordained by the laws of physics pio)((.(,#@7#I(?!")5#X(>+(.5#b-+%+("#-),#.(*)(,#@7#[%)&!(%)#-),#A-?1%)9B C$(.#RVV#7(-.&5#!'-!#p;-.!(.#"3#-#,-7#@(/"0(&#-#.(-+#>."@+(0#3-/!".#"3#KL#,-7&B##^'%/'#

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means the Spring Equinox of 2112 would occur around April 17th instead "3#<-./'#KK5#KVRKB Why is that?

Because nothing will stop the celestial motion of the spheres, and regardless of any calendar, the point of &>.%)9#M$(.)-+O#(p;%)"D#%&# an exact point of time and space through which the Earth passes from the south to the north plane of the ecliptic.

The four distinct seasons happen because the [-.!'#%&#!%+!(,#KNBL#,(9.((&# from vertical. And the exact times for transition from cold to warm on each earthly hemisphere is because of where we are in our orbit around the Sun. That’s why!

All civilizations have developed calendars of various types that are anchored in the timing of the Moon, Sun and stars in the sky year after year, decade after decade, century after century.

But the ancients realized that their calendars needed adjustment to match the well observed patterns of sunrise and sunset points along the horizon, as well as their coordination with seasons for planting, growth and harvest.

Even adjusting for the extra Leap Day every four years wasn’t enough on the large scale of time. If the calendar wasn’t adjusted for the extra six hours (-/'#7(-.5#%)#LVV#7(-.&#!'-!# ?";+,#@(#RKL#,-7&#";!#"3# sync—the Spring Solstice "3#KLRK#?";+,#@(#"//;..%)9# around Aug. 1st!

So Leap Days are important to keeping mankind’s wits about the seasons, which are earthly life’s rhythms.

Now, we’re not done. The exact length of an astro)"0%/-+#7(-.#%&#EGL#,-7&#L# '";.&#NP#0%);!(&#-),#NG# &(/"),&#MEGLBKNKK#,-7&OB# So as the calendar went along for a few centuries adding a Leap Day every four years, the year gained about 11 minutes 14 sec-

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onds every year. After every 128 years, that was a full day.

The solution?

This anomaly was cor.(/!(,#@7#:">(#b.(9".7#%)# <-./'#RLPKB#27#!'-!#!%0(5# !'(#/-+(),-.#7(-.#?-&#RV# days off the seasonal year.

They made two corrections.

H'(#*.&!#?-&#!'-!#!'(7#_;&!# dropped ten days. The ,-7#-3!(.#C/!"@(.#L5#RLPK# @(/-0(#C/!"@(.#RL5#RLPKB# (Some countries adopted this change later, in some /-&(&#/()!;.%(&#+-!(.BO#H'%&# restored the spring and autumn equinoxes to their rightful place.

The second change was to reform the calendar to prevent slippage in the 3;!;.(j#-),#?(#;&(#!'-!# same calendar system today, called the Gregorian.

A Leap Day is skipped in century years not evenly ,%$%&%@+(#@7#NVVB#H';&5#!'(# 7(-.#KVVV#?-&#'-,#-#8(-># `-75#@;!#RFVV5#RPVV#-),# RJVV#,%,#)"!B#H'(.(#-.(#-+&"# Leap Seconds decreed by the International Rotation Service to keep Universal Time within three-fourths of a second to the true time as measured by the gradually and irregularly slowing rotation of the Earth.

Thus a second was inserted -!#!'(#(),&#"3#KVVL#-),# KVVP5#-),#-#8(->#Z(/"),# will be added at the end of !'(#,-7#")#6;)(#EV5#KVRKB e)%$(.&-+#H%0(#%&#!'(#"3*cial time used by scientists around the world. With Greenwich, England being !'(#V#+")9%!;,(#0-.1#"3#!'(# Earth, this is where time @(9%)&B##^'()#%!a&#V#'";.# Universal Time in Greenwich, our Eastern Standard Time is 7 pm.

Time is always fascinating to explore, as different eras of cultures have dealt with it in so many different ways.

And one thing always needed are some basic corrections to keep pace with the what’s happening in the world around us— proving that time is not always on our side.

E5%(&*>'%&* Week Celestial events in the skies for the week of Feb. 28-March 4, 2012, as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

Leap Week, and the media will be all "$(.#!'(#EGG!'#,-7#-,,(,#!"#!'(#KVRK# calendar. It’s also a week when looking into the evening twilight will make you wonder: “What are those two bright stars high above the horizon?” That’s Venus, the brightest and closest to the horizon, and Jupiter above it. Both planets are heading toward each other and a dramatic side-by-side encounter the week of March 12th. Watch them converge in what astronomers call a “conjunction.” >"(&L*Z(#L*UY Five years ago on this date the unmanned spacecraft New Horizons passed by gigantic planet Jupiter on %!&#?-7#!"#,?-.3#>+-)(!#:+;!"B##I(?# Horizon is three years from its July KVRL#()/";)!(.#?%!'#:+;!"#-),#%!&#!'.((# moons.

-(1L*Z(#L*UP 8(->#`-7s#H'%&#%&#-+&"#*.&!#o;-.!(.# Moon at 8:21 p.m. EST, another oddity and one certainly that would have been observed with lunar traditions in the ancient world. >'")&L*4.):'*g The Moon is beautiful and above the red star Aldebaran, the eye of Taurus the Bull. Below them are the bright stars of C.%")#!'(#A;)!(.B Z)%L*4.):'*U The Moon spends the night in Cancer the Crab, a small constellation. But surrounding the Moon is an array of bright stars, including Capella to the north, U-&!".#-),#:"++;D#!"#!'(#(-&!5#2(!(+9(;&(# -),#]%9(+#!"#!'(#?(&!5#-),#:."/7")#-),# Sirius to the south.

E.2L*4.):'*N :+-)(!#<-.&#%&#-!#l">>"&%!%")5d#0(-)%)9# it rises when the Sun sets—being op>"&%!(#!'(#Z;)B##27#F#>B0B#!'(#9-.)(!#](,# :+-)(!#%&#(-&%+7#&(()5#&'%)%)9#@.%9'!+7#%)# Leo as the Earth passes by it.

E";L*4.):'*W C)#!'%&#RFJF#,-!(#%)#-&!.")"07#'%&!".75# the unmanned spacecraft Voyager 1 discovered a ring around Jupiter when the planet passed in front of a distant star and the rings blinked obscuring the starlight.

43;L*4.):'*O C)#!'%&#RFJF#,-!(#%)#&>-/(#'%&!".75#m"7-9(.#R#4(?#@7#6;>%!(.5#9%$%)9#&>(/!-/;+-.# views of some of its moons. Mars is /+"&(&!#!"#[-.!'#!",-7#-!#_;&!#;),(.#GV# million miles.

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We are pleased to be able to offer an exciting variety of workshops that range from traditional skills, to hand crafted items, and 3,0&%".)5&?0&#,=#.0&/*(&.*& come to Sycamore Shoals to learn a new skill or craft from our talented instructors! Class sizes are limited, so please register early! Traditional Arts Workshops are by registration only and must be pre-paid. Call (423) 543-5808 for more information. ^-!(./"+".#:-%)!%)95#T+".-+&B# Instructor: Barbara Jernigan Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#E5#RV#-B0BtR# p.m.

U"&!h#SRK#M>+;&#&;>>+%(&O#".#SKV# M%)/+;,(&#&;>>+%(&OB#<%)h#LB#<-Dh# open Learn and practice watercolor techniques and style. Dress to take a short walk outdoors for photos and observations, weather permitting. <-1%)9#T%.(#?%!'#T+%)!#Y#Z!((+B# Instructor: Bob Estep Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#E5#F#-B0BtN#>B0B U"&!h#SNLB#<%)h#K5#<-Dh#RK

:-.!%/%>-)!&#?%++#/"0>+(!(#-#4%)!# Y#&!((+#*.(#0-1%)9#1%!#/"0>+(!(# with all the components for mak%)9#*.(B##Z>-++%)9#4%)!5#>.(>-.%)9# various tinders, tins, techniques, and other topics relating to mak%)9#*.(#?%!'#4%)!#Y#&!((+#?%++#@(# discussed, in addition to demon&!.-!%")&#"3#"!'(.#(-.+7#*.(#0-1%)9# tools Knitting a Hat in the Round Instructor: Amy Gawthrop Z;),-75#<-./'#N5#RhEVtN#>505 U"&!h#SKLB#<%)h#RB#<-Dh#RV Bring at least 2 skeins of worsted ?(%9'!#?""+#M-@";!#KVVu#7-.,&OB# =+&"#@.%)9#-#&(!#"3#L#&%k(#eZfP# ,";@+(#>"%)!#1)%!!%)9#)((,+(&5C]# -#&%k(#P#/%./;+-.#)((,+(#M-.";),#EK# %)/'(&#".#0".(OB## :.%0%!%$(#=,'(&%$(&B#\)&!.;/!".h# Ken Dykes Saturday, March 17. Details To be Announced Intermediate Spinning. Instructor: Amy Gawthrop Z;),-75#<-.#RP5#RhEVtN#>B0B U"&!h#SNV5#%)/+;,(&#4((/(#MR&!# !%0(#&!;,()!&#%)#!'%&#/+-&&Oj#SRL#3".# .(!;.)%)9#&!;,()!&B#<%)h#RB#<-Dh#L :+7%)9#7";.#7-.)j#vwa#!?%&!#-),# vZa#!?%&!5#>+7%)9#3."0#-#+-k7#1-!(5# Navajo plying, and additional spinning instruction.

Storytelling-“Adventures in Z!".7!(++%)9#t#=#C)(#`-7#n";!'# Storytelling Camp”

Instructors: Mary Jane Kennedy, Sherri Hyder, Chad Bogart Z-!B5#<-.#KN5#F#-B0BtE#>B0B###### U"&!h##SKV#>(.#/'%+,B#<%)h#PB#<-Dh# KV Age limit:8–12 years This camp will Sew the Seeds of Storytelling, Nurture the Imagination, and Share the Harvest of the =.!#"3#Z!".7!(++%)9B#T."0#K#!"#E>0# there will be a program geared to the parents and siblings of the participants. Bring a sack lunch and a sense of adventure. No other materials needed. ^-!(./"+".#:-%)!%)95#T+".-+&B# Instructor: Barbara Jernigan Z-!;.,-75##<-./'#ERB#RV#-B0BtR# p.m.

U"&!h#SRK#M>+;&#&;>>+%(&O#".#SKV# M%)/+;,(&#&;>>+%(&OB#<%)h#LB#<-Dh## open Learn and practice watercolor techniques and style. Dress to take a short walk outdoors for photos and observations, weather permitting.

Making Burnout Bowls. Instructor: Ken Dykes Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#ER############### Details to be Announced Sycamore Shoals State Historic =.(-#%&#+"/-!(,#-!#RGLR#^B#[+1#=$enue, Elizabethton, TN. for more %)3".0-!%")#/-++#MNKEO#LNEQLPVP#".# e-mail www.sycamoreshoalstn.org, ".#???B!)&!-!(>-.1&B/"0WZ7/-0".(Z'"-+&W

www.theloaferonline.com

DJ>E*@0!7>*7ZZ0JE*E!JKRB* -D>0J67=7J*-7JHEf7!

Pre-Registration Required

Hard to feed the cows. By Robin Poteet

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The Arts Depot is pleased to offer a three-day watercolor workshop +(-,#@7#9;(&!#%)&!.;/!".#]"@%)#:"!((!B#H'(#?".1&'">#?%++#@(#'(+,#<"),-75#<-./'#RK#!'.";9'#^(,)(&,-75#<-./'#RN5#3."0#F#=<#;)!%+#N#:<#-!# the Arts Depot in Abingdon, Virginia. ]"@%)#:"!((!#%&#-)#-?-.,#?%))%)9#?-!(./"+".%&!#-),#>">;+-.#%)&!.;/tor at The Studio School in Roanoke, VA. She was selected as one of ten )-!%")-+#lC)(&#!"#^-!/'d#%)#!'(#`(/(0@(.#KVRV#%&&;(#"3#^-!(./"+".#=.!%&!#<-9-k%)(#-),#->>(-.(,#-9-%)#%)#!'(%.#6;)(5#KVRR#%&&;(B#Z'(#?-&#-+&"# 3(-!;.(,#%)#=.!#6";.)-+%)9#<-9-k%)(#-),#:-+(!!(#<-9-k%)(B :"!((!#%)$%!(&#7";#!"#_;0>&!-.!#7";.#/.(-!%$%!7#-),#!-1(#7";.#>-%)!%)9# &1%++&#!"#!'(#)(D!#+($(+#%)#!'%&#/"03".!-@+(#7(!#3"/;&(,#EQ,-7#?".1&'">B#8-),&/->(&#-),#*9;.(&#?%++#@(#!'(#&;@_(/!&#-&#&!;,()!&#(D>+".(# techniques that add depth and atmosphere to their work. Robin will ;).-$(+#!'(#07&!(.7#"3#(,9(#/")!."+5#?-!(.W>-%)!#.-!%"5#+%$(+7#&'-,"?&# and capturing light. She will provide demos, critiques and ample oneon-one attention.

H'(#?".1&'">#3((#%&#SRPLB#](9%&!.-!%")#%)3".0-!%")#%&#-$-%+-@+(#")#!'( Arts Depot website abingdonartsdepot.org, by calling the Arts Depot at KJGQGKPQFVFR#".#$%-#(0-%+#-!#-@%)9,")-.!&,(>"!r($-B".9B#H'%&#?".1shop is for all experience levels, but basic drawing and watercolor skills are needed. Enrollment is limited and pre-registration is required.

H'(#`(>"!#=.!%&!&#=&&"/%-!%")#%&#-#)")Q>."*!#$"+;)!((.#".9-)%k-tion that operates the Arts Depot and is dedicated to promoting the arts in the community and features the regionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s artists. The Arts Depot is located in the historic Depot Square area of downtown Abingdon, VA. The gallery and artists studios are open for your viewing pleas;.(#H';.&,-7#!'.;#Z-!;.,-75#6-);-.7#!'.";9'#<-./'#RRQE5#-),#=>.%+# !'.";9'#`(/(0@(.#RVQN5#".#@7#->>"%)!0()!B#H'(.(#%&#)"#-,0%&&%")# charge. The Association is supported in part by grants from the Virginia Commission for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Arts and the Virginia Tourism corp.

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This Week In The THE ACOUSTIC APPLE JAM SINGER/SONGWRITER VENUE WITH CLASSIC COVERS March 1 Lineup U'.%&#X(++(75#:6#Z!((+0-)5#6"')# U"!!")5#Y#H'(#Z0"1(7#<!B#:"&&(# Holston Valley UU Church in b.-75#REG#2"@#6"@(#],B5##%&#+""1%)9# for a pianist to play at service two Sundays a month. Responsibilities -.(#3."0#->>."D%0-!(+7#RVhRL#-B0B# !"#RKhRL#>B0B#-),#%)/+;,(#-//"0>-Q nying four hymns and sometimes !'(#:.(+;,(#-),#C33(.!".7B##H'(.(# is an occasional Sunday afternoon

choir rehearsal. Compensation is SJL#>(.#&(.$%/(#-),#SKL#>(.#'";.# for additional rehearsal time.

For more information please send an e-mail message to Teri San,"$-+#-!#0;&%/r'$;;/B".9#".#+(-$(# -#>'")(#0(&&-9(#-!#NKEQNJJQJGGRB# World Heritage Student [D/'-)9(#:."9.-05#-#'%9'+7# .(&>(/!(,5#)")Q>."*#!5#>;@+%/Q @()(*#!#".9-)%k-!%")5#%&#&((1%)9# local host families for high school boys and girls from Scandinavia, France, Germany, Italy, Thailand, China, South Korea, and the

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former Soviet Republics. Students are already awaiting word on their '"&!#3-0%+%(&#3".#!'(#KVRKQKVRE# academic school year. Host families provide room, board, and guidance for a teenager living thousands of miles from home. Couples, single parents, and families with or without children in the home are all encouraged to apply. The exchange students arrive from their home /";)!.7#&'".!+7#@(3".(#!'(#KVRKWRE# school year begins and each World Heritage student is fully insured, @.%)9&#'%&W'(.#"?)#>(.&")-+# spending money and expects to

@(-.#'%&W'(.#&'-.(#"3#'";&('"+,# responsibilities, as well as being included in normal family activities and lifestyles. If you are interested in opening your home and sharing your family life with a young person from abroad, please call local Area Representative CarolLynn 2-1(.#-!#MNKEO#JGJQRGNL#".#RQPVVQ PPPQFVNV#M!"++#3.((OB#:+(-&(#-+&"#$%&%!# our website at www.whhosts.com

Tuesday, February 28 Rachel Sage will be performing at the Acoustic Coffeehouse %)#6"')&")#U%!7#-!#RV#>B0B# Donations will be accepted. For more information visit www. rachelsage.com <-!#:%+-!(&#?%!'#=)%5#($(.7#H;(&Q ,-75#NhEVtLhEV#>B0B5#Z'-1!%#%)#!'(# <";)!-%)&B#=#GVQ0%);!(#?".1";!# that focuses on developing strength through the core (back, abs and '%>&O#?'%+(#-+&"#@;%+,%)9#4#(D%@%+%!7# and coordination ultimately im>."$%)9#"$(.-++#@",7#*#!)(&&5#(+")Q gated supple muscles and balance between body and mind. The class will work through various levels of movements making it appropriate 3".#-++#*#!)(&&#+($(+&B#U"&!h#SRV#>(.# /+-&&#".#SEK#3".#N#/+-&&(&B#U")!-/!# \)3".0-!%")h#=)%#2"7,5#-)%p;%)@7r yahoo.com.

As part of Black History Month, ETSU will present â&#x20AC;&#x161;Diva Tribute: Diana Ross, Tina Turner and Whitney Houstonâ&#x20AC;&#x161; at 7 p.m. in the `B:B#U;+>#U()!(.5#<-.!'-#Z!.((!# Culp Auditorium. Actress and singer Joanna Maddox pays tribute to three legendary artists in this one-woman show, sharing their hit music and life lessons. Sponsored by the Black Affairs Association.

U")!-/!h#<;+!%/;+!;.-+#=33-%.&5#NEFQ GGEE#".#0/&!-33r(!&;B(,;B :.%)/(!")#=.!&#U()!(.5#KLRG#[B# C-1+-),#=$(B5#?%++#"33(.#-)#")9"%)9# class in Bharatha Natyam, a highly stylized classical dance form from Z";!'#\),%-5#3."0#NhEVQGhEV#>B0B# on Tuesdays beginning Feb. 28.

U+-&&#%&#3".#-9(&#RV#-),#"+,(.#-),#%&# -(."@%/#%)!()&(B#T((#%&#SRE#>(.#/+-&&B# To sign up or for more information, >+(-&(#/-++#:.%)/(!")#=.!&#U()!(.#-!#

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Wednesday, February 29 As part of Black History Month, ETSU will present Red Tails: A Review of the Film and a History "3#!'(#H;&1(9((#=%.0()#-!#E#>B0B# in the Sherrod Library, James H. Quillen Conference Room. A panel discussion with U.S. Navy Capt.

M](!BO#^%++%-0#=B#U"+(0-)#-),#:$!B# M](!BO#^%++%-0#Z'(++0-)B#](3.(&'Q ments will be provided after the program. Sponsored by African and African American Studies. Contact: Dr. Dorothy Drinkard-Hawkshawe, NEFQGGPPB

The Tusculum College Students for Christ Gospel Choir will be 3(-!;.(,#%)#%!&#*#.&!#/")/(.!#-!#=))%(# Hogan Byrd Auditorium on the Tusculum college campus. The concert will begin at 7 p.m. and is an Arts and Lecture Series credit event for Tusculum College students. The concert is open to the public and there is no charge to attend. This %&#!'(#*#.&!#7(-.#3".#!'(#RLQ0(0@(.# student choir, which sings both traditional and contemporary gospel hymns and songs. The concert, which will showcase the new choir, will also include several numbers with the Tusculum College Jazz Band. For more information on the Students for Christ Gospel Choir, /")!-/!#U">(+-),#-!#$/">(+-),r tcstudents.tusculum.edu.

Thursday, March 1 The National Active and Retired Federal Employees will hold their monthly meeting at the Thankful Baptist Church Community Center, RLVN#[B#^-!-;9-#=$(5#6"')&")#U%!7B## The meeting starts at 11 a.m. and :-!!7#b.-7@(-+#?%++#@(#!'(#&>(-1(.B## For additional information call ^-7)(#]"@(.!&")#MNKEO#KEKQGKRFB

:.%)/(!")#=.!&#U()!(.5#KLRG#[B# C-1+-),#=$(B5#?%++#"33(.#2(9%))(.# H;0@+%)9#/+-&&(&#3".#-9(&#EQRV#&!-.!Q ing next week: Thursdays (begin)%)9#<-./'#RO5#GQGhEV#>B0B5#-9(&# EQLj+#^(,)(&,-7&#M@(9%))%)9#<-./'# JO5#GhEVQJ#>B0B5#-9(&#LQRV#\)&!.;/!".# `-)%#:.($(!!(#<(&&-0".(#?%++#!(-/'# basic skills including cartwheels, backbends, splits, and handstands.

www.theloaferonline.com T class will The h improve o e strength, e v c co-n e,")-!%")#"3#SPBVV#3".#=,;+!&5#SLBVV# l g as s t t h sr , cw "".,%)-!%")5#4 , . #( #(D%@%+%!75#-),#@-+-)/(B# % ) 5#-) D -! % @ for students, % % ", +and FREE % ) #@!for children 7 5#4 -+ ;),(.#GB#](&(.$-!%")&#-.(#&;9Q U+-&&#3((#%&#SKL#>(.#0")!'B gested and can be made by calling !'(#8-0>8%9'!#@"D#"3*#/(#-!#MNKEO# Friday, ENPQJGRV5#<"),-7#!'.";9'#T.%,-7# March 2 3."0#F#-B0B#!"#L#>B0B#".#")+%)(#-!# H'(#/-&!#"3#Z'()-)%9-)&#KVRK# www.lamplighttheatre.com. is up to their crazy antics in this frolicsome musical comedy review The artwork of classical artist at LampLight Theatre, Fall Branch, Amber Magamoll will be showH())(&&((5##<-./'#KQN#-),#FQRRB## /-&(,#-!#m();&YT;.#%)#,"?)!"?)# Laugh away the winter blues with Johnson City during the upcoming some knee-slappin’ comedy, and First Friday event. Amber’s works join the talented singers in a sing.(4#(/!#!'(#&1(!/'(&#-),#/"0>"&%Q a-long to some of your old-time tional drawings the old masters did 3-$".%!(&B#:.(&()!(,#%)#m-;,($%++(# in preparation for their frescoes. style, this show promises to bring Such sketches contain the basic a smile to everyone who attends. /"0>")()!&#"3#!'(#*#)%&'(,#?".1B## :(">+(#"3#-++#-9(&#?%++#9(!#-#l1%/1d# In them, we see Amber’s vision out of this humorous turn of the of the essence of these classical /()!;.7#.($%(?#*#++(,#?%!'#&")9&# masterpieces. She also will display from past musicals and a walk several charcoal portraits, demondown memory lane. What a great &!.-!%)9#'(.#4#-%.#3".#&!.;/!;.(#-),# way to bring in the spring season! realism. Amber’s devotion to detail This is a show for the entire famis seen not only in the artwork, but ily. The production will be held also the presentation. She tones two consecutive weekends, March her own paper, makes the walnut KQN#-),#FQRR#?%!'#($()%)9#>(.3".Q ink that is used in all the sketches mances on Fridays and Saturdays -!#JhVV#>B0B##Z-!;.,-7#0-!%)((&#?%++# and hand cuts quill pens. She also designs and hand paints French @(#'(+,#-!#KhVV#>B0B#-),#Z;),-7# mats for all her works.

0-!%)((&#-!#EhVV#>B0B##`"".&#?%++# open one hour prior to perforDel Shore’s Sordid Lives#*#)-+# mances. The cost of admission for weekend in Johnson City! Sordid all performances is a suggested

/$0-1"-2%&3'%&45&%.%()$%*+",$-'%!"#$%&6 Lives tells o the i story l - ofla family i dealing with-)the death of their octo/ genarian matriarch. Tragically, she tripped over her lover’s wooden legs after an afternoon tryst and hit her head on the sink on the way down. Her son is in a mental institution because he thinks he is Tammy Wynette, her lover’s wife M+%p;".(,Q;>#-),#")#m-+%;0O#'-&# taken hostages, her sister is trying to quit smoking, her daughters cannot get along, and her gay grandson is trying to decide if he wants to go back into the folds of their dysfunction. Sordid Lives ?-&#!'(#RFFG#?%))(.#"3#!'(#`.-0-# Logue Award for best playwright, best production and best direction. Directed by David Hyde and produced by local theatrical /"0>-)7#H?"#:()/(#:.",;/!%")&5# !'(#/-&!#%)/+;,(&#b.%3*#)#m-)#U-0>5# Tod C. Riddle, Lee Ann DaltonAdkins, Shelley Van Camp, Rachel S. Helvey, Hannah Tipton, Cody 8(?%&5#`-$(#U-.!(.5#:-%9(#<-+")(# Mengel, Ashley Seehorn, Adrian Thomas and Derek Smithpeters as 2."!'(.#2"7B#H%/1(!#>.%/(&#-.(#SEKBVF# plus tax. A four-course country dinner is also included with the price of the ticket. This show is intended for mature audiences due to adult themes and language. Sordid

mLives will playpits Final Weekend r behind the Italian ( at The Casbah B# :%kk-#:;@#-!#PVJ#^(&!#^-+);!#Z!.((!# 6"')&")#U%!75#HI#EJGVN#")#<-./'#K# -),#E.,#-!#GhVV>0B#T".#0".(#%)3".Q mation about the show and menu, *#),#H?"#:()/(#:.",;/!%")&#")# T-/(@""1#".#/-++#NKEQKVKQEGGVB Saturday, March 3 Intro to vegetable Gardening will @(#!-;9'!#@7#+"/-+#9-.,()(.&#:-!# Lynch and Brenda Warner at Unicoi H"?)#A-++#3."0#F#-B0BQ)"")B#U"&!# %&#SRVB#[$(.7")(#?%++#+(-$(#?%!'# seeds and info. Refreshments provided. Space is limited contact e)%/"%#:-.1&#-),#](/#!"#&-$(#7";.# &>"!#MNKEO#EEVQGREPB Campaign for Southern Equality, <-./'#E5#KVRK5#JQF#>B0B#-!#Z'-1!%#%)# the Mountains. Support Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender equality while enjoying an evening of local entertainment at this fundraiser for the Campaign for Southern Equal%!7#M&";!'(.)(p;-+%!7B".9OB#8%&!()# to storytellers and singers Danielle Bellone, Fynn Crooks, Cathy Jo Janssen, Delanna Reed, and Sara Z;!!(.*#(+,Q^%))B#UZ[#%&#-#)-!%")-+# effort to assert the full humanity and equality of lesbian, gay,

bisexual, and transgender people in American life and to increase public support for LGBT rights. =,0%&&%")#%&#SKL#3".#")(#-,;+!#".# SNVB##Z!;,()!#-,0%&&%")#%&#SLB##H'(# SKL#%)/+;,(&#!'(#/'-)/(#!"#?%)#-# .-34#(#>.%k(#-),#-#3;)#!%0(#?%!'# delightful people. If you are unable !"#-!!(),#@;!#/-)#,")-!(#SKL#M".# 0".(O5#>+(-&(#/")!-/!#:(9#<-/0%+Q +-)#!"#()!(.#!'(#.-34#(#>(90-/0%+Q +-)r90-%+B/"0B#

The Southwest Virginia Museum A%&!".%/-+#Z!-!(#:-.1#?%++#'"&!#%!&# First Saturday Community Coffee A";&(#")#Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#E.,# 3."0#JQF#>B0B#H'(#Z0%!'&#?%++# serve as the featured hosts for this month’s Coffee House. Bill and Nancy Smith have been perform%)9#!"9(!'(.#3".#0".(#!'-)#RL#7(-.&# and for much longer separately @(3".(#!'(7#0(!#%)#RFFNB#2"!'#-.(# accomplished singers of Appalachian Mountain Music and also perform a wide variety of music from Western Swing to Blues and 3"+1B#2%++#Y#I-)/7#-.(#-&&"/%-!(#-.!Q ists with Roadside Theater and are accomplished storytellers. The First Saturday Community Coffee House is an open-mic event and is open to all family-friendly performers.

All interested musicians, storytell-

!"#$%&7'%()$%*+",$-%.%/$0-1"-2%&3'%&45&

www.theloaferonline.com ers, and poets should arrive by GhEV>0#3".#&%9)Q;>#-),#&/'(,;+%)9B# Admission is free to this program.

Refreshments will be available for purchase. For more information, please call the Southwest Virginia <;&(;0#A%&!".%/-+#Z!-!(#:-.1#-!# KJGQLKEQREKKB Sunday, March 4 The Kingsport Art Guild >.(&()!&#!'(#NF!'#-));-+#=>>-+-/'%-)#=.!#Z'"?#<-./'#NtKE5# KVRK5#%)#!'(#&(/"),Q4"".#9-++(.7# -!#!'(#]()-%&&-)/(#U()!(.5#RKVV#[B# Center St., in Kingsport, TN. The guild will host an awards reception with the artists on March 4 3."0#K#!"#N#>B0B#%)#!'(#9-++(.7j#+%9'!# refreshments will be provided. The exhibit and the awards reception both are free, accessible, and open to the public. David Mickenberg, executive director of the Taubman Museum of Art, Roanoke, VA, will jury and judge the exhibit, -),#?%))(.&#?%++#&>+%!#SEKVV#%)# cash prizes. Eastman Chemical Company supports the Kingsport Art Guild’s Appalachian Art Show.

H'(#)"!Q3".Q>."*!#X%)9&>".!#=.!# b;%+,#MX=bO#?-&#3";),(,#%)#RFNF# and has been a driving force for visual arts excellence in the greater Kingsport area ever since. The guild welcomes artists in all media and at all levels of experience as well as art enthusiasts. KAG creates opportunities for its members and the greater Kingsport community to explore and experience visual arts through instruction, lectures, special events, and exhibition and promotion. More information about the Kingsport Art Guild is available at www.kingsportartguild.com.

/$0-1"-2%&3'%&45&%.%()$%*+",$-'%!"#$%&8 Monday, March 5 SingleVision Movie Night will @(#'(+,#-!#GhEV#>B0B#%)#!'(#H'(-!(.# ]""05#K),##4"".5#^(&+(7#^%)9#-!# First Broadstreet United Methodist Church in Kingsport. An entertaining movie will be in store! Free popcorn and cold drinks will be provided. No reservations required!

U")!-/!#6-)(#=,-0&#-!#KNGQRJKJ Friday, March 9 Michael Reno Harrell returns to the Down Home for another great evening of entertainment! Tickets are $14. Michael Reno Harrell is an award winning songwriter, storyteller and published author.

His songs have been described as “Appalachian grit and wit”, but his self pinned material resonates far beyond his Southern roots. Because of his exceptional knack for description, fans have described his songs as “little movies”. Michael has been performing for over forty years, entertaining audiences across the U.S. and Europe. His songs have earned both gold and platinum awards and his recordings have topped the Americana charts. ^".1%)9#"$(.#RLV#,-!(&#-#7(-.5#'(# has been a featured performer at the National Storytelling Festival, MerleFest, the Gamble Rogers Folk Festival, and the Walnut Valley Festival just to name a few. Michael will be performing songs from his 14th CD of original material, My Town.

Saturday, March 10 TriState Singles will be having -##,-)/(#")#Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#RV!'## at the North Kingsport Fire Hall Community Center, East Carter’s

Valley Road off Lynn Garden Drive, 3."0#JtRV#>B0B#H'(#<-%+0()#?%++# be playing. Cost is $8 for everyone.

Bring a single friend and enjoy the evening. Snacks and drinks will be provided! Contact numbers: <-.!'-#b%@&")#ELJQEKEK#".#Z;&-)# U+-7!".#KPPQNKLKB Sunday, March 11 Breastfeeding Support Group, EQN#>B0B5#Z'-1!%#%)#!'(#<";)!-%)&B# C>()#!"#-++#0"!'(.&#-),#0"!'(.&Q to-be and children. No cost. For more information, go to: www. lllmountainempire.org Monday, March 12 :+(-&(#_"%)#Z%)9+(m%&%")#")#<")day, March 12 for a potluck dinner and game night. Join friends at GhEV#>B0B#%)#!'(#T(++"?&'%>#A-++#-!# First Broad Street United Method%&!#U';./'#%)#X%)9&>".!B#:+(-&(# bring a covered dish to share and a drink for yourself. Afterwards, we ?%++#>+-7#-#$-.%(!7#"3#9-0(&B#:+(-&(# @.%)9#7";.#3-$".%!(#9-0(M&O#-),# join in some lighthearted competi!%")s#:+(-&(#_"%)#;&#3".#-)#($()%)9# of fun! No reservations required!

For more information, please call 6-)(#=,-0&#-!#MNKEO#KNGQRJKJB

Tuesday, March 13 \)!.",;/!%")#!"#C%+#:-%)!%)95# G#>B0B#3".#J#?((1&5#-!#Z'-1!%#%)# the Mountains. This class will introduce students to the tech)%p;(&#-),#l!.%/1&d#;&(,#@7#!'(#C+,# Masters from the Dutch and Italian Renaissance that were continued through time. Normally a painting like this would take close to a year to complete. Audra has created an introductory method that may be done faster using some modern materials. Audra will walk you through each step in creating a painting in this tradition. The step-by-step process to this form of painting will show no brush strokes and create a luminous piece. Not often taught it modern schools, anyone can take this class, from the beginner to the professional artist.

Audra taught this technique in Las U.;/(&5#I(?#<(D%/"#3".#F#7(-.&# and now is pleased to bring it to Johnson City. Some supplies are provided. If you refer a friend you @"!'#?%++#.(/(%$(#-#SKV#,%&/";)!B# H'(#/"&!#"3#!'(#/+-&&#%&#SRLVBVV#3".# J#&(&&%")&#U"[,B#:+(-&(#/")!-/!# -;,.,-;9'!(.r7-'""B/"0

Friday, March 16 6"%)#Z%)9+(m%&%")#3."0#FtRR# p.m. for a fun night of bowling at l^-.>-!'#8-)(&d5#KNNF#<(0".%-+# Blvd. (Between Ft. Henry Mall and ^-.>-!'#`.%$(OB#U"&!#"3#!?"#9-0(&# of bowling and shoe rental will be SRV#".#+(&&B#C)(#9-0(#%&#+(&&#!'-)# SGB##:+(-&(#0-1(#.(&(.$-!%")&#@7## /-++%)9#<-./7#A-9()#MFLGQRVVJO##".# _;&!#/"0(#!"#!'(#@"?+%)9#-++(7#-!#F# p.m. After bowling we plan to go !"#Z'")(7a&#3".#!'(%.#SL#@.(-13-&!s# M-@";!#RVhEV#".#RR#>B0BOB##n";#0-7# join us at Shoney’s if you do not want to come to the bowling alley!

Questions: call Marcy Hagen at MNKEOFLGQRVVJ#".#6-)(#=,-0&#-!# MNKEOKNGQRJKJB

!"#$%&9'%()$%*+",$-%.%/$0-1"-2%&3'%&45& H?"#!%0(#C&/-.#?%))(.#`-)k(+# Washington has always been a very intense actor. To each of his roles he brings a quiet intensity that could boil over at any moment.

Washington brings his intensity to the role of Tobin Frost, a former CIA agent turned international /.%0%)-+5#%)#!'(#)(?#*+0#Safe House.

Washington’s co-star is Ryan Reynolds (Green LanternO5#?'"# stars as Matt Weston, a lowlevel agent for the CIA who holds post at a Safe House which is soon home to the much feared Frost. Safe Houses, are of course, used by law enforcement and intelligence agencies to protect witnesses, agents or those such as Frost.

Not long after Frost is being interrogated at the house, a group of men attack in an effort to capture T."&!#3".#!'(0&(+$(&B#C)(#/-)#&((# Frost is a much-wanted man.

Frost convinces Matt to take him out of the safe house, and the two make a harrowing escape, ?'%/'#%&#'"?#!'(#/";.&(#"3#*+0#%&# conducted.

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ala the Jason Bourne movies, and this adds to the excitement. If only Reynolds had his Green Lantern ring with which to capture the bad guys.

C)/(#!'(#,;"#0-1(#%!#!"#&(cluded Safe House, they are met by a surprised agent, who you can tell is going to be trouble. Bingo!

Matt and the agent are soon punching one another all over the house, while Frost is left to watch '(+>+(&&+7B#H'(#*9'!#@(!?(()#<-!!#

and the fellow agent is the type where someone will not make it to !'(#(),#"3#!'(#*+05#-),#!'-!#&;.(# won’t be Matt.

As the two remain at the house, various upper agents of the CIA are racing to the location, to take custody of Frost.

C)(#"3#!'(#0"&!#(D/%!%)9# &(p;()/(&#"3#!'(#*+0#!-1(#>+-/(# at a soccer stadium, where Frost temporally evades Matt.

In addition to many exciting

/'-&(#&(p;()/(&#-),#*&!%/;33&5#!'(# *+0#'-&#!'(#>.(.(p;%&%!(#,";@+(Q crosses, and betrayals. As I was ?-!/'%)9#!'(#*+05#\#!'";9'!#'"?# you need to be concerned if you can’t trust anyone in the CIA. H'(#*+0#.(-/'(&#%!#/.(&/(),"#-!# the second Safe House, and leaves one character in a position I did not expect.

In the end, Matt gets his own personal revenge toward the CIA, -),#(),&#!'(#*+0#")#-#&-!%&37%)9#

note.

Concerning the actors, Washington practically seethes as Frost, and his is a character you would never want to be on the bad side "3B#](7)"+,&#%&#*)(#-&#!'(#U\=# agent who is trying to maintain his “hero” status throughout the *+0B# In fact, since Matt Damon will not be in the next Jason Bourne *+05#\#?"),(.#%3#](7)"+,&#?-&# ever considered? He certainly 0-,(#-#*)(#-;,%!%")#*+0#3".#!'(# role.

C3#/";.&(#!'(#)(?#Bourne#*+0# will star the excellent Jeremy Renner, though I feel Reynolds could have handled the role as well.

My casting choices aside, Safe House#?-&#-#*)(#-/!%")#*+05# but really didn’t break any new ground plot-wise. The storyline was simply average, and could have been better written for the two actors.

In closing, if I ever have the unfortunate need to be placed in a Safe House, I want Ryan Reynolds to be the protecting agent.

(Rated R) B-

www.theloaferonline.com

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>3\;*,).;:'* #$"(<).&&*.2*2'(* Carter Fold Z-!;.,-75#<-./'#E5#-!# JhEV#>B0B#!'(#U-.!(.#T-0%+7# Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, will present a concert by the Town Branch Bluegrass band.

Admission to the concert is $7 for adults, $1 for /'%+,.()#G#!"#RR5#;),(.#-9(# G#3.((B As long as bluegrass music has echoed through the hills and valleys of the Appalachian region, musicians of all ages have gathered together to play and preserve their favorite style of music.

This southwestern Virginia group showcases the traditional songs of yesterday, along with the driving sound of a modern style.

The group began doing back porch picking and performing at local events seven years ago. Town Branch Bluegrass is now one of the region’s hottest new bands.

The group features Brandon Elkins on banjo, Bill Newman on mandolin,

:(997#[+7#")#@-&&5#Z'%.+(7# Smith on vocals, and Jack and Wayne Bonham on guitar and vocals.

For further information on !'(#@-),5#9"#!"#'!!>hWW!"?)@.-)/'@+;(9.-&&B/"0WB For a night of some of the best bluegrass music the region has to offer, don’t miss Town Branch Bluegrass band at the Carter Family Fold. Be sure to bring your friends along, and don’t forget your dancing shoes!

Carter Family Memorial Music Center, Incorporated, %&#-#)")>."*!5#.;.-+#-.!&# organization established to preserve traditional, acoustic, mountain music.

For further information ")#!'(#/()!(.5#9"#!"#'!!>hWW www.carterfamilyfold.org.

Shows from the Carter Family Fold can be accessed ")#!'(#%)!(.)(!#-!#'!!>hWW www.carterfoldshow.com.

Carter Music Center is part of the Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail.

You can visit the Crooked

Town Branch Road Music Trail site at '!!>hWW!'(/.""1(,."-,B".9B :-.!%-+#3;),%)9#3".# programs at the center is provided by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts.

For more information on Saturday’s concert, contact the Mountain Music <;&(;0#-!#MKJGO#GNLQVVELB# For recorded information on shows coming up at the T"+,5#/-++#MKJGO#EPGQGVLNB

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ROSS*

ANDY

*batteries not included >'(*6)"M*38*Z.:(#335

It began like any other day, my cat, Mr. Fluffy No No, woke me up that morning, demanding his kibble.

I sleepily wandered into the 1%!/'()#!"#*++#'%&#,%&'5#-),#0-1(#!'(# coffee, I also grabbed my phone so I could check the Facebooks that the young people seem to enjoy so much.

But that is when things went wrong, horribly, horrendously, hideously - wrong.

You know how sometimes on Facebook your friends will post “Is Facebook acting up for anyone else today?” It seems that, on that particular morning, it was fated that it would be that day for me.

I"!'%)9#?-&#?".1%)95#07#)"!%*cations, my status update attempts— not a single item was making it through.

I felt faint, and I quickly climbed back into bed and curled myself up in the fetal position. I cried a little, held Mr. Fluffy No No close to me, and began to gently sing The End of The World, as performed by Skeeter Davis. I phoned for a nurse to come

and see to my well being, for I knew I was not long for the world, one came and they began to feed me a very thin broth, and give me medication.

I’m not really sure if it was the medication or the broth, put at one point I swore I saw Barney The Dinosaur riding a humpback whale through the air of my bedroom, all while singing Engine, Engine #9, as originally performed by Roger Miller.

As my conditioned weakened, the nurse called a doctor to come talk to 0(5#!'(#,"/!".#?-&#@-34(,5#&'(#'-,# never seen anything like this before.

Soon we were going over what caused my health to deteriorate to this point. When I informed them that it was over Facebook malfunctioning, the doctor slapped me, and informed that I was a “sorry sack of a man.” Then stormed out the door with the nurse and Mr. Fluffy No No. I then began to realize that maybe something was wrong with me, if a stinky web page gets me all out of whack, perhaps I needed some help?

I entered my local F.A (Face-

@""1(.&#=)")70";&O#-),#@(9-)# treatment to slowly ween myself away from Facebook. They gave me support and little debbie cakes.

After just a few weeks, I found myself feeling like a completely different person. I was enjoying life again. I’d go to the park to admire the trees, and the birds, and enjoy the fresh air - shame the park is right upstream from the Sewage Treatment :+-)!B I took dancing classes, I entered a three-legged race, and I began to garden. It was amazing how much my life had changed since I learned that I could live without liking every picture of a cat posted to Facebook.

How am I doing now, you ask?

I’m doing well, thank you.

I hardly have time for things like Facebook anymore since I have such an active lifestyle.

But if you’re curious about what I’m up to, you can always follow me on Twitter.

See you next week.

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!"#$%64'%()$%*+",$-%.%/$0-1"-2%&3'%&45& Looks like the old familiar RCA logo depicting Nipper the dog listening to “his master’s voice” from the horn of a Victrola is being updated. Now Nipper (or Nip>(.a&#9.(-!#9.(-!#9.(-!#9.-),,"9O# will be watching Dog TV. That’s right, a new TV network, which is being piloted in San Diego, will soon be available on your TV. But this new channel will not be for you - it will be for your dog.

Dogs watching TV is nothing new, of course. For years, dogs and other pets have been watching =)%0-+#:+-)(!5#(&>(/%-++7#?'()# their owners are not at home. Who knows, or who wants to know, what else our animals do while we’re at work? Let’s save that tantalizing and frightening topic for another column, shall we? For now, I will speculate that our pets paw the remote ;)!%+#!'(7#+"/-!(#!'(#:+-7@"7# channel as soon as we back out of our driveways.

The new network’s web&%!(#M,"9!$B/"0O#>."$%,(&#-++# the information you could possibly need to get your dog ready for this viewing !.(-!B#lU-@+(a&#*.&!#)(!?".1# for canines,” announces the website, “offers a promise to our beloved best friends that they should never again feel -+")(Bd#2."-,/-&!%)9#KNWJ5# this network boasts that its programming has been l&/%()!%*/-++7#,($(+">(,d#!"# cater to your dog’s interests, especially when you’re not around. Dog TV even claims to be therapeutic, giving dogs relief from stress and separation anxiety. Maybe you should consult your pet’s psychiatrist before adding this channel to your lineup. Spurious as these therapeutic claims may be, the channel has received support from the Humane Z"/%(!75#=Z:U=5#-),#!'(#=0(.%/-)# Veterinary Medical Association.

Who am I to argue with such august organizations?

In case you have no clue about how to use this new network once it does become available in your area, dogtv.com has a section entitled “How” that gives you step-by-step instructions.

Even your dog should be able to understand these directions. First, you “turn on the TV and switch to `CbHmBd#Z%0>+(#()";9'B#I(D!5# you set a volume level that you

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would be comfortable with, and magically the “content is already -,_;&!(,#!"#*!#7";.#,"9a&#'(-.%)9# sensibilities.” After turning on you TV and setting the volume level, you are encouraged to watch for awhile with your animal until “you feel they are relaxed.” And, last but certainly not least, you are advised to give “your dog some time to adjust,” because this new channel “is like a new friend so they may get extra excited or unusually relaxed.” You shouldn’t worry, however, because your pet

is just getting adjusted to this new experience. If that doesn’t work, I suppose you could offer them a beer from the fridge.

I sampled some of the videos offered on the website and tried to pretend I was a dog. These video samples are grouped into three categories: “Relaxation” (lots of scenes with various dogs sleeping, lying down, wandering around aimlessly through the ?"",&#".#")#!'(#@(-/'O5#lZ!%0;+-tion” (dogs playing around with other dogs and doing all sorts of

,"9Q+%1(#!'%)9&O5#-),#l[D>"&;.(d# (not what you might expect, but .(-++7#%)!(.(&!%)9#:Cm#&'"!&#"3# scenery dizzily whizzing by as the dogs hang their heads out !'(#?%),"?&#"3#&>((,%)9#/-.&OB# As a human, I think I would like to watch lots of the “Exposure” offerings, although I do get a little nervous when I see dogs poking their heads out the open windows of speeding cars as they ears blow ?%+,+7#-.";),OB As you would expect from any well-designed website, there is a

FAQ section for inquisitive dog owners. Interesting questions like “Do dogs really watch TV?” “Why %&#`CbHm#9"",#3".#,"9&qd#-),# lA"?#0;/'#?%++#`CbHm#/"&!qd# are answered to my satisfaction, as are others that clearly explain, among other things, why most dogs can’t watch analog TV but have no trouble with digital TV. C)(#T=o#($()#-,,.(&&(&#!'(#p;(&!%")#"3#?'(!'(.#`CbHm#0%9'!# be a good substitute for antistress medication. I guess it’s not enough that most of our human population, including children, is medicated - don’t want to deprive our dogs of this comfortably numb state, do we?

My favorite FAQ question is “Do I have to do something special while my dog is ?-!/'%)9#`CbHmqd#=),# !'(#-)&?(.#%&5#l`CbHm#%&# created in such a way so that you don’t have to do anything. Your dog will receive just the right mix of relaxing, stimulating and habituating programs, and you can be comfortable knowing that your dog is in good hands.”

That just about sums up !'(#?'"+(#`CbHm#-9(),-B# And, just in case you are a complete idiot, “make sure that the volume is set to the same level you would set for yourself and that your speakers are on.” Unless, of course, your animal prefers wearing headphones or earbuds.

And, for very slow learners, I guess you better make sure your TV video monitor is on as well.

Because we have a cat and not a dog, I can only hope we will soon see other channels devoted to non-canines.

C;.#/-!#+%1(&#!"#?-!/'#Hhe Brady Bunch, for example, so maybe there will be a retro pet channel added to our lineup - a TV Land for cats sounds like a good idea to me. And the new CATTV channel would have to show lots of sleeping felines, because that’s our cat’s favorite activity, second only to eating and licking his butt.

While we wait for an updated version of Dire Straits’ Money For Nothing#Ml\#^-)!#<7#`CbHmdO5# I will bid you a fond farewell until next week. In the meantime, I hope you and your pet can spend some quality time relaxing together.

www.theloaferonline.com

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