september 11, 2015|page 11
THE LION’S ROAR|THELIONSROAR.COM|opinions
Paper Tigers By Alex Song
To read more about different parenting styles, see Features (page 22)
graphic by Josh Finkel
“Y O
Senior explains why the term “tiger parenting” is unfair
our mom is such a tiger mom!” Stereotypes. As a student, especially as an Asian one, hallways, locker rooms and classrooms can be filled with them. Small eyes, straight As, Harvard and MIT should sound pretty familiar. And while some jests can be unpleasant, many aren’t actually that offensive. I mean, wouldn’t it be nice if everyone thought you were smart? But from firsthand experience, I can tell you never to call a mother a “tiger mom” without knowing what you’re getting yourself into. Amy Chua’s 240-page parenting manifesto “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” is, paradoxically, both an exposition of strict parenting and a self-described “self-mocking memoir.” While there are actual examples of her toughness (rules about not getting any grade below an A, exceedingly long manda-
tory piano and violin practices, threats of no food and calling her daughters “garbage, cowardly, and pathetic”), Chua also admits to exaggerating some aspects of her parenting, including control over her daughters. Never did she actually burn stuffed animals as
in 2011 sets up the term “tiger mom” to become popular without a proper definition. Many reviewers and critics did an awful job of reading the book, most only citing the first few chapters, which left out all of the more rational content. Her ideas spread
another colloquial way to refer to a “strict Asian mother,” but those who have a better understanding of the term would be confused to be labeled something they are not. Whether it’s Amy Chua’s fault or not, her sensational depiction of parenting has caused
Be careful how you label someone — your definition and theirs may not be as identical as they seem a warning, nor did she partake in the more severe methods of punishment outlined in her writing. But after its publication, people were too ready to believe all of it and then criticize it. Therein lies the problem. The inflammatory reaction when the memoir was published
like wildfire, with some applauding her strategies and others condemning her practices as child abuse. Much of the general public had no in-depth knowledge of the book and jumped to its own conclusions. Nowadays, “tiger mom” is so diluted in meaning that it’s just
an outburst of labeling. Ironically, however, many of those who use the term “tiger mom” to label others lack a true understanding of the phrase. To a Chinese mother who has read the book and, while relatively strict, does not identify with most or all of the practices
in “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” being labeled one would be highly offensive. The problem is not necessarily intention. If you want to call some parents stricter than others, go ahead. There are those who are stricter by nature, and many of them are Asian as it so happens. But do not confuse every “strict parent” with a “tiger mom.” They are vastly different. The deeper problem of this stereotype is its negativity. “Tiger mom,” whether meaning abusive or simply strict, connotes bad parenting with a pinch of crazy, a demeaning label unfairly thrust upon some parents. Parenting is a sensitive subject; parents want to do what’s best for their kids, and implying that their style of parenting is harmful, however unintentionally, is obviously offensive. So be careful how you label someone – your definition and theirs may not be as identical as they seem.