Leaders A Chain of Chesed

Calanit Kopple

As members of Klal Yisroel, we are privy to multitudes of inspirational stories of mesiras nefesh and chesed. Some of us may hear or read about such stories and admire them from a distance, privately thinking that we, ourselves, would not be capable of the self-sacrifice required in those instances. Regardless of one’s own ability to transcend the seemingly impossible, there are those that do, and we may utilize their choices to spark our own acts of chesed, in whatever capacity possible.

When one considers donating a kidney, it is not just theirs to give. It is essentially also their family’s; spouse, children, parents, siblings, and friends. Nor is the kidney a gift for one person. The recipient’s circle of family and friends also receives the gift.

So, when Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner found out he was a potential match with a person in need of a kidney, he called his wife, Lauren. In turn, Lauren assured her husband of her support, and the next call was placed to Rav Asher Weiss, Halachic expert, especially in the area of medical ethics. As a talmid of Rav Weiss, Rabbi Weiner anticipated the answer would be supportive, as Rav Weiss frequently praises those who donate a kidney. But, Rabbi Weiner sought an answer to his personal question. Rav Weiss asked, “What does your wife say?” Since her support was strong, Rav Weiss replied: “It’s a gevaldigge zchus. I encourage anyone who can do it. Unless you know someone in your family has kidney problems and may be in need one day and you’re a match…I know many people who have done it and they are doing well. Just last night emphasized the importance of considering the feelings of one’s spouse, as well as one’s family.

Of course, arriving at the decision to donate a kidney is complex. “I’m involved with medical ethics and work in a hospital. I see how people’s lives have been changed and impacted. When people donate organs in the hospital, I visit them and praise them. But, I never thought I would do it myself,” said Rabbi Weiner.

In 2021, Renewal–a non-profit organization that saves lives by facilitating live donor kidney transplants–hosted an event at the YAYOE campus. to available to donate to Zack because of Mindy. Deon Nathan, who came from Florida to test for Zack, ultimately donated to another awaiting recipient.

And, soon, another link in the chain of hashgacha pratis would be formed. About five months ago, Rabbi Weiner received a call from Renewal. “You have a match,” they said. For Rabbi Weiner, the call was shocking and he wondered what he had gotten himself into. But, Renewal does not ever apply pressure on a potential donor. They connect you to the hospital who will explain the next step involved. Eventually, after more testing, the amazing re-

For Rabbi Weiner, the best part of donating his kidney was the opportunity to make such an impact. “There is an actual human being whose life I can save,” said Rabbi Weiner. He and Lauren would have preferred to keep the mitzvah quiet but were told by rabbanim to publicize the story in order to encourage others to do the same.

And, in turn, the chizuk and positive feedback from the community has a tremendous impact on the Weiner family. “Our kids were nervous at first. But their teachers and friends were so kind in their praise that they came around and saw it as a good thing. They went from being afraid to being proud,” said Rabbi Weiner.

Since news of his kidney donation spread, Rabbi Weiner has received several emails with photos of community members filling out the Renewal donor forms themselves.

Until recently, Renewal has primarily operated on the east coast but is expanding to provide support for the L.A. community to get help locally. “We are very excited about our new relationship with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. They have an excellent transplant team and we look forward to helping more patients,” said Rabbi Friedman.

I had a student driving me who gave a kidney one week ago!”

Ultimately, Rav Weiss did not give a psak. “It’s a great thing but it’s not obligatory. You don’t have to do it. You have to decide for yourself,” the rav said.

The next call placed by Rabbi Weiner was to Rabbi Aryeh Lebowitz in New York, who himself had donated a kidney. “It’s a great mitzvah. Most people who have donated a kidney just wish they could do it again,” he shared. And like Rav Weiss, Rabbi Lebowitz find a kidney donor for Zack Plotzker, a father of young children and former resident of L.A. Rabbi Weiner hoped to support Zack and Renewal by attending the event. So, he did the swabbing–the first step to ascertain a possible match between donor and recipient– went home, and forgot about it.

Thank G-d, in 2022, Zack was matched with a kidney donor and would undergo a kidney transplant at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. Zack’s donor was Daniel Zebberman, another L.A. father of young children. Daniel initially had come forward to donate a kidney to Steven Stein a few years earlier, but Steven ultimately received a kidney in 2021 from Mindy Moskowitz in New York, leaving Daniel available to help Zack.

Every time someone donates a kidney, they not only save the life of their recipient, but it creates a ripple effect on other lives. When one receives a kidney, they are moved off the transplant list, thus creating a spot for other people in need to move up on the list. The Renewal event to save Zack became part of a chain of matches in a greater story of hashgacha pratis. Daniel was now sults were confirmed which shocked the doctors at the hospital. Rabbi Weiner was a perfect match with a recipient so rare that it was assumed it would never work out for her.

Suddenly, the process of donating a kidney was no longer abstract. A real person in Toronto, Canada, was in need of a kidney, and Rabbi Weiner could donate one of his own to save her life.

Rabbi Weiner arrived in Toronto four days prior to the transplant operation. He and Lauren coordinated logistics for their children at home for a week, while Lauren flew to Toronto to be with her husband prior to and post-operation, with their toddler in tow. The kidney alone served as a unique sacrifice on the part of the Weiner family, but traveling out of the country and coordinating care for their children is undoubtedly above and beyond.

“It’s a good lesson to show our children that we can do hard things and get through it. Even if you’re hesitant to do something, the rewarding feeling is worth the challenge. It’s an amazing thing to help a fellow Jew improve their health and life,” said Lauren.

Weeks after the transplant, Bonnie, Rabbi Weiner’s recipient, is doing well. “This process made me reflect a lot on what’s more important: the amount of years we live or the value of those years? Is the goal of life to live for a long time or to make the most of what we have? Helping others and giving to someone is more valuable in the long run,” said Rabbi Weiner.

Calanit Kopple lives in Los Angeles with her family. If you’d like to reach her, you can find her at JOANN’s on La Cienega most days of the week.

To read about Bonnie’s story visit www.kidneydonor.ca.

To hear more about Rabbi Weiner’s story, Renewal invites you to a Melava Malka at YICC, March 11, 2023 at 8:30 pm. For more information, email events@renewal.org or visit www.renewal.org.