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Friday, August 19, 2011
MINISTRY OF JERKS THEY’RE off! Catfight! Catfight! Catfight! David Cameron and Ed Miliband with their claws into each other, with the embers of that burnt-out furniture store in Croydon still wafting in London’s southern air. Cameron says “I’ve got the answer” and that his government will deal with the “broken society” with plans to help families, parenting and education. What those plans might be are as mysterious as Lord Lucan’s latest abode - but wait! Ministers have been told to go away and come back with some ideas. That’ll annoy them as their summer holidays are in tatters, and headmaster Cameron will be ready with his Old Etonian cane to give their buttocks “six of the very best” if they don’t come The Cameron and up with loads of goodies for Miliband show: Cowardly the Tory faithful to cheer along Lion or Tin Man...but to at their annual conference which is which? in Manchester. Perhaps some gallows and medieval stocks will be hired for the occa- Ed, who of course wants you to forget that sion as Mancunian hoodies are dragged in his party had, until 16 months ago, capfrom the local streets for some humiliation, tained the good ship UK for 13 years. Also with Lord Norman Tebbit as the honorary that most of the areas where the recent violence took place had been under the control operator of the machinery. of Labour council fiefdoms since the early Rubbish Mind you, I don’t see Cameron heading days of universal suffrage. Can he please, then, tell us why teenage off to the Trafford Centre for some ritual hoodie-hugging, do you? What a fool he pregnancies, gang crime, drug-taking, alcomust feel in the current circumstances for hol abuse and poor school literacy and coming up with that rubbish three years ago numeracy standards all leapt during which has come back to haunt him every Labour’s years in power? He has rightly night he rests his head on his gold- apologised for Tony Blair’s Iraq con-trick, but has offered no remorse for his party’s embossed silk pillow! Meanwhile, the cherubic-faced Ed domestic disasters. At least some former ministers, like David Miliband is offering little, perhaps preferring the Government to take a lead and cover Blunkett, have raised their heads above themselves in their own mire. Like a stuck water and admitted that something went vinyl record, he keeps chiding Cameron for wrong with Labour’s land of Eldorado, and not coming up with an official inquiry into the that multi-culturism has failed in the UK. riots. If he says ‘no knee-jerk’ again, I swear The Lib Dem deputy leader, Simon I may do some lasting damage to my TV Hughes, has also been using that ‘knee-jerk’ screen, as well as to my own knee. phrase over one instant idea that seems to So please, no more jerking of any kind for be in play already with one or two councils.
And he, along with former Tory leadership candidate David Davis, may well have a point. Last Friday, Wandsworth Council served the first eviction notice on a thug’s family after he was convicted of looting. Take away the emotion for a moment and just think about the fairness of doing something like that. True, we don’t know the parenting circumstances behind this decision, and whether there had been previous trouble involving tenants, but at first glance this seems ridiculous.
Faceless A lot of the convicted thugs have come from families in private housing, so what is happening there? Nothing, of course, and you have to remember that all English councils have an obligation to house families, so this is plainly stupid and has not been thought out. It should be up to the courts to dole out the punishments - not faceless council officials. All the serious problems that have
reared their ugly heads over the last fortnight can’t be solved in just a few days, and there’s no quick fix akin to Dorothy clicking her heels in The Wizard of Oz’! At least she didn’t resort to a ‘kneejerk’ as she danced down the Yellow Brick Road, but who out of Cameron or Miliband will be vying to be either the Cowardly Lion or the Tin Man? Why do politicians hate doing U-turns? Circumstances change, like with the recent riots, so why is there reluctance for the current government to review their decision to make cuts to police forces around the country? There’s loads of wiggle room for the Home Secretary, Theresa May, as Labour concede that they would have made cuts of around 12 per cent! So there’s eight per cent to play with. Would it really be so unpopular if the gap was made up by an increase in taxation somewhere, so that hard-working decent folk know their homes and businesses are protected by more bobbies on the beat? It’s all rather worrying for a Conservative Party that has always shrouded its body with the flag of ‘Law and Order’, yet now has record low morale amongst police officers who used to be guaranteed Tory supporters. When Margaret Thatcher came into power in 1979, she upped police numbers straight away, despite the poor economic situation. The current situation must have Lady T sighing in disbelief at her London house whilst drowning her sorrows in her favourite tipple – whisky. But as she admitted, she was not a lady for turning, as her stupid stance over the Poll Tax proved, and a few months later she was out of Downing Street on her blue-dressed behind. She might now have some reflective wisdom to offer to the Home Secretary on the positive benefits of a U turn after her political career was so abruptly ended in 1990.
Obi the hero dog
MEET Obi, the four-legged hero the London rioters could not deter. The three-year-old German Shepherd sustained a fractured skull - shown by the shaved patch above his left eye - after being hit with a brick. The brave dog and his handler PC Phil Wells were on the front line when the rioting started in Tottenham on August 6 and bravely carried on working fafte being struck, despite bleeding from his left nostril. PC Wells explained: "There were lots of missiles coming at us, bottles, bricks, petrol bombs, street furniture, too many to count and one hit Obi on the top of the head. "Initially he was a bit shocked but I gave him a check-over and after the initial shock he seemed fine so we carried on for another couple of hours." After an assessment Obi was found to be lethargic and a CT scan revealed he had a fractured skull above the left eye socket. PC Wells said Obi has lived at home with PC Wells since he was a puppy: Sad the officer: "He is my best friend and to see him get injured is very emotional."