22 JUDAISM
21 JULY 2022
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ASK THE RABBI Looking for answers? Send your question to Rabbi@RabbiSchochet.com THREE WEEKS OF MISERY? Dear Rabbi I used to be frum but now more chilled. I often look back with cynicism on some of the Jewish rituals. One example is the “three weeks” that Jewish people commemorate at this time of year. Don’t you think it’s a little overdone? I mean regardless of whether you believe a new Temple will be built one day, why are we spending three weeks denied some of the basic pleasures of life – e.g. music, parties, etc. Haven’t we moved on from then? It seems a little over the top – don’t you think? Hershel Dear Hershel So you think we’ve moved on from then? Let’s consider the main story, which I am sure you’re familiar with (before you became cynical) that led to the ultimate devastation of Jerusalem. For the benefit of readers, I will recap: It is the sorry tale of a wealthy man in Jerusalem who counted one Kamtza amongst his close friends yet loathed another called Bar Kamtza. Once when throwing a large feast his trusted servant made the mistake of inviting Bar Kamtza instead of Kamtza. Upon discovering his enemy at his party, the host asked Bar Kamtza to leave. What would you do if you were making a simcha and someone you really didn’t like crashed your party? Would you ask him or her to leave? Would you get someone else to do so? So as to spare himself any embarrassment, Bar Kamtza insisted he would pay for everything he ate and drank, and later upped it to even paying for the whole feast, “just don’t
embarrass me!” Alas, to no avail. This story is not just about two people that don’t get along and the lengths one will go to express animosity. Think of the embarrassment caused – the public shame and humiliation. Last week we read about Balaam’s talking donkey. The Talmud observes: “Whatever happened to the donkey?” And it answers that G-d killed the donkey, “lest people will see the donkey, point and say, this is the donkey that shamed Balaam” thus causing him even further embarrassment. Which is astounding when you think about it: Surely one element about the donkey is that it would inspire people to recall the miracle and maybe be a little more switched on to follow G-d’s will. And besides – Balaam was after all an evil man, why should we be concerned about his feelings against the greater good that could emerge from the donkey remaining alive? Yet, we see that in G-d’s world, whatever the gain, it would not justify the shame and humiliation that Balaam, however evil he might have been, would endure. The Talmud concludes that earlier story by recounting how Bar Kamtza took revenge by securing an appointment with the Roman Emperor, insisting that the Jews were rebelling. As proof he suggested sending an animal for them to sacrifice. A young calf was sent, which Bar Kamtza blemished on his return to Jerusalem, thereby rendering it unfit for the altar. Some say the calf was blemished with a cut lip, others suggest by its eye being wounded. The significance of this detail is because it reflects the essence of their sin. The cut lip is
akin to the sinister tale bearing and humiliating, which was commonplace. The cut eye hints at the insidious evil eye that people cast upon one another. Let’s fast forward two thousand years and consider: Have we moved on from then? Have we become better or are we still bitter? Do we today speak less loshon hora? Do we today no longer shame other people? Do we no longer judge one another? Are we still walking around with a cut lip or a cut eye or have the wounds healed? Spending three weeks reflecting on that, and looking to rectify that, is not such a bad thing in the scheme of things, regardless of how cynical one is. Don’t you think?
GETTING OFF MY HIGH HORSE Dear Rabbi I find some of your responses really condescending. I know you’re supposed to be the bastion of religion, but you act as if you know it all. I think it’s time you get off your high horse. Rick Dear Rick I’d get off my high horse but it’s a long way down. If you could just get a little lower… I’m sorry you find me condescending. You really have two options: Either stop reading (but you can’t help yourself, can you?) or get over it. And, I don’t “act” as if I know it all. I really do know it all.
A RECIPE FOR HAPPINESS Dear Rabbi What is Judaism’s recipe for a happy life? Jennifer
Dear Jennifer In a word, authenticity. The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest challenge is being happy with what you find. You are not your job. You are not your Instagram account or how many friends you have on Facebook. You are not your car, or house. In fact you are not your children, nor your friends, nor people you try to impress. To be authentic means to find the key to happiness and success within one’s self not within society. You have to have
the courage to be free of other’s opinions. “What you think of me is none of my business.” Have an authentic moment each day when you can connect with yourself with everything switched off around you – everything but your soul. There is no one to impress or appease. Then ask yourself, “Does the life I am living resonate with my inner being? Do I have the courage to live more authentically?” When you do this you will be happier, healthier and ultimately attract the life that you were meant to live.
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