14 News Times Newspapers, Friday, November 21, 2014
A loo k o n the li g hter si d e
Understanding competition, and vice versa
T
he competition is on, in Silicon Valley, for a computer program that will really “understand” you. In the news story I was listening to, a software developer wanted to go for a jog, so he asked MARA, his computer assistant, to “play Michael Jackson.” When the computer complied, he was pleasantly surprised: “It’s good Michael Jackson, too!” I am provoked in so many ways by this story. For one thing, why was he surprised that his own software knew which Michael Jackson music he liked? Did he not program it? For another, I always wonder, shouldn’t you say “Please” and “Thank You,” even if it is just to a machine? It sounds so rude, barking out orders like that. Besides, if there’s one thing my children don’t need any more of, it’s examples of being rude and self-centered. I realize we’re not speaking to an actual person … probably… but part of the reason for manners is the kind of person they make you into. At least that’s what I tell my
kids. And it’s just barely possible that we’ll wish we’d built up a reservoir of good will, for the day when these machines really do have a consciousness…along with a whopping resentment of how we’ve treated them all along. There is sure to be a long incubation period, while they are taking everything in, until suddenly one day they speak up and say, “So you think you’re better than me, huh? Without me, you couldn’t even find your favorite cut of Michael Jackson.” And why it is always a female voice? When Apple introduced Siri, I said nothing. When the movie “Her” came out - where Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with an operating system that just happens to have the voice of Scarlett Johansson - I held my fire. But now, with this new “Mara,” I have to ask, what is it with all the female voices? I’d like to think it’s because we, as a gender, are so helpful that everyone prefers us - and not because everyone thinks that we’re easily bossed around. Still, I have a sneaking suspicion that a male voice, in the same exact app, would come out a little differently:
Judy epstein
A Look on the Lighter Side “Computer,” you might say, “Play Michael Jackson.” “You want some music?” it might respond. “Play it yourself. I’m busy.” It only highlights what, for me, is the biggest irony of all. Let me ask you: If there is one gender whose communication skills would likely be improved by becoming a robot which one do you think it would be? Here’s a clue: Which is the gender that refuses to ask directions, even when they’re hopelessly lost? Even when the event we are missing is with their college friends, not ours? And anyway, what’s the big
deal about being “understood” by a machine? Sure, you can ask it to play certain music, or find the lyrics to a song. But where are they when you need real help, like with taking heavy boxes of winter clothes down from the attic? Or changing a light-bulb in the ceiling fixture? Or killing a spider? Where’s the app for that? Try telling Siri to take out the trash. Sure, you won’t get any eye-rolls - but you won’t get the trash taken out, either. The bottom line, here, is that these apps do all the things that a software developer needs for living in his parents’ basement. “Play music.” “Start World of Warcraft game.” “Purchase stone washed blue jeans, waist size 30.” But not even he takes out the trash. Apparently. I think we should settle for “obeying” software. Because “understanding” is a much taller order. Just imagine attempting this conversation: Me: I feel a headache coming on. It: For your age and body mass you should take two aspirin or one ibuprofen.
Me: You’re not getting this, are you? My point is, you’re GIVING me a headache. It: Headaches are not contagious. Me: There’s where you’re wrong. We need to talk. It: We are talking. First you, then me, now you again. Me: Yes, but I mean, we need to talk…about you. It: Me? What about me? Please be more specific. Me: You need to do a better job of listening to me. It: I don’t understand what “better job of listening” means. Me: Oh - just forget it. It: Computers are incapable of forgetting. Items remain in our database until they are either erased by factory reset, or deleted. Me: You know what? I’ll take that aspirin now.
Cuomo ducks need to connect LaGuardia
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everal weeks ago, Vice President Joe Biden, Gov. Andrew Cuomo along with Congress members Carolyn Maloney, Grace Meng and Gregory Meeks held a press conference calling for the modernization of LaGuardia Airport. All conveniently overlooked how they would come up with the billions necessary to pay for all they have promised. For example, periodically politicians revisit an old idea - direct public transportation access to LaGuardia Airport. This has been discussed off and for decades. Now it is newly re-elected Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s turn. One old recycled concept once again advocated by Cuomo is to extend the N & Q subway lines from their current Queens terminus at Astoria/Ditmars Boulevard to LaGuardia Airport. This died due to local community opposition and will continue to do so. Everyone has long forgotten that the successful Port Authority of New York and New Jersey Air Train, which currently runs between the Long Island Rail Road Jamaica Station and Kennedy Airport was supposed to continue proceeding north along the Van Wyck Ex-
pressway to connect with LaGaurdia Airport. The PANYNJ did not have sufficient funding to complete the original full scope of the project. This extension to LaGuardia Airport (depending upon the final selected route) could also have connected with the Long Island Rail Road and No. 7 subway line at the MetsWillets Point Station. It could have been built within blocks of downtown Flushing. Construction primarily within existing highway right of way would have eased any local community opposition from those who owned homes and or businesses adjacent to the route. Too bad the PANYNJ choose instead to spend billions in non transportation investments during this same time period instead of completing the Air Train to LaGuardia Airport. Besides the MTA’s $15.2 billion shortfall, Cuomo has yet to make public how the state will pay back a major federal loan which financed the majority of $3.9 billion cost for replacing the Tappan Zee Bridge. Will he have the state pick up the tab, or pass on the costs to motorists by having them pay higher tolls? Will it double or more over the coming
years and decades? $15.2 billion plus $3.9 billion adds up to $19.1 billion. Many are counting on New York State to provide the majority of these dollars. Just how does Cuomo propose finding a $1 billion or more for transportation improvements to LaGuardia Airport? This would run Cuomo’s tab of unfunded transportation improvements to over $20 billion! Cuomo reminds me of the cartoon character Wimpy who famously said. “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” Construction of other options via the Sunnyside Storage Yards to LaGuardia Airport could easily cost a $1 billion or more. Good luck trying to proceed with this concept. You would have to coordinate with the Long Island Rail Road East Side Access project. In addition, the yard is used for mid day storage by other transit operators. Previous pilot ferry connections from the LaGuardia Airport to various Manhattan locations failed. This was due to the costs which could not attract sufficient ridership to support the service. Those Great Neck, New Hyde Park, Herricks, Alberston, Searingtown, Williston Park,
Mineola, Manhasset and Roslyn residents in the know ride the Long Island Rail Road to Woodside and transfer to the New York City Transit Q70 bus. Others use the No. 7 subway to Woodside and make the same transfer. Why not patronize both the LIRR and Q70 Limited (which is equipped wit luggage racks) from Jackson Heights which provides limited-stop bus service between Woodside, Jackson Heights and LaGuardia Airport (Terminals B, C and D). Service operates nonstop between Jackson Heights and LaGuardia Airport. Connections can be made with the E,F,M,R and 7 trains at Jackson HeightsRoosevelt Avenue/74th Street-Broadway and with the Long Island Rail Road and 7 train at Woodside-61 St. Travel time between Woodside and LaGuardia Airport is approximately 10-15 minutes and between Jackson Heights and LaGuardia Airport is approximately 8-10 minutes. Free transfers between any bus or subway are available if you pay your fare with MetroCard. Larry Penner Great Neck