RELATIONSHIPS
Advice Goddess DORK MATTER
I’m just out of a bad relationship and ready to start dating. I recently met a guy I liked at the mall. There was definitely a physical attraction, and we had a lot in common, but not an hour after we met, he sent me a text that said, “Miss you already.” That set off red flags for me. Sweet or creepy? I’m on the fence. —Want To Be Charitable
AMY ALKON
He’s looking forward to watching you sleep -- from the third-floor apartment across the way, with a set of high-
powered binoculars. Then again, it’s possible that socially, he’s kind of a mouth-breather. Socially clueless guys will sometimes dig around in the “Chicks Love This Stuff” bin, pull out some romantic-sounding line and lay it on a woman, hoping it’ll stick. They don’t get that prematurely expressed affection can creep women out. Sure, his “Miss you already” -- or one of its cousins, “I loved you before I even knew you!” -- sounds like a sweet sentiment. But using it before real feeling has time to develop can suggest that one’s underlying motivation is not “Can’t wait to take you to Paris” but maybe “Can’t wait to keep you in a crate under my bed.” That’s probably where your intuition is taking you. Intuitions -- gut feelings -- are judgments we arrive at without conscious reasoning. But they don’t come out of nowhere. Your brain compares input from your current environment with prior situations (from your past and your evolutionary past), looking for patterns that suggest danger is afoot. The thing is, these alerts are often wrong. But that actually isn’t a bad thing. Evolutionary psychologists Martie Haselton and David Buss find that we seem to have evolved to make the less costly error -- like your erring on the side of red-flagging a guy because it’s less costly for you to end up home alone on a Saturday night than to end up crated or dead. Should you override your weirdo-dar? It can feel unfair to write somebody off on the basis of one yicky remark. But if you’re going to take a risk, it should be an informed risk, meaning that you use information about past behavior (which you’re rather short on) to predict the likelihood a situation will go south. You also factor in your ability to deal if it does. Like if he turns stalker, will you be all “Not gonna make it through the armed guards and the moat around my house” or “My neighbors in 4B would cheerfully buzz in Charles Manson”? On the other side of informed risk is “cross my fingers and hope it turns out okay,” which, given the level of information you have, is pretty much where you are now. However, the reality is, sometimes throwing caution to the wind makes sense, like if the guy in question seems to be the last man on earth or your last shot before eternal spinsterhood. If this is the case, it would probably be prudent to pair your high hopes with a bedside Taser, on the off chance Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Right Outside In Your Bushes.
BreAk room With A VieW
I’m dating my co-worker, and this is kind of embarrassing, but I’ve hooked up with two other guys at our company. These encounters happened a while back, and they were meaningless. My concern is that one of these guys will get wind of the fact that I am seeing and really like this guy and they’ll tell him and he’ll be put off. He knows I used to be pretty wild and said he didn’t want to know the specifics, but he also didn’t know that they involve our co-workers. Should I warn him? —Unsure To be human is to engage in episodes of poor judgment: drop-crotch pants… cornrows on a white person…vajazzling (adhering sparkly gemstones to a part of your body that nobody looks at and grumbles, “Gosh, if only it weren’t so plain”). Likewise, though life partners sometimes start as co-workers, it’s generally best to score hookup partners from the larger population pool -- men whom you might occasionally run into at the grocery store, as opposed to every 45 minutes in the coffee room. However, what’s done is done, and what your new beau wants to hear about it is none of it. And sure, there’s a chance that one or both of these guys will spill, but there’s also a chance that neither will. If it comes out, deal with it as needed. Otherwise, what he doesn’t quite know won’t, well…let’s just say the abstract idea that you were wild is different from his having mug shots in his head of the specific co-workers who’ve ignored the tattoo on your pelvic bone: “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.” n ©2015, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. • Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405 or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com)
48 INLANDER JUNE 18, 2015
EVENTS | CALENDAR
FESTIVAL WALLACE GYRO DAYS & LEAD CREEK DERBY The 74th annual festival includes the famous ball race down the river from Mullan to the Sixth Street bridge, along with a three-day celebration in downtown Wallace. June 18-20. Downtown. wallaceidahochamber.com ALL WHEELS WEEKEND Dayton opens up its downtown streets for a car show, live music, “drag races,” a demo derby and retro activities like a sock hop, root beer floats, and more. June 19-21. Dayton, Wash. allwheelsweekend.com CAR D’ALENE The annual car show and parade celebrates its 25th anniversary, hosting classic cards for 1975 or pre-75 cars and trucks. Parade/cruise Friday, 6-9 pm; car show Saturday, 8 am-4 pm. June 19-20. Free to spectators. Downtown Coeur d’Alene, Sherman Ave. cdadowntown.com (208-415-0116) MEDICAL LAKE FOUNDER’S DAY The 44th annual community celebration includes a street parade, car show, vendor fair, softball and basketball tourneys, kids activities and more. June 20. Free. medical-lake.org PROSSER SCOTTISH FEST & HIGHLAND GAMES The 15th annual festival includes the anvil launch, heavy athletics games, highland dancing, Celtic music, clan tents, kids’ activities, vendors, food and more. June 20, 8 am-6 pm. $5-$10. Prosser, Wash. prosserscottishfest.org THE BIG BACK IN Every Father’s Day, Spirit Lake becomes “Mower Town,” with 40-plus racers and more than 3,000 spectators. June 21, noon. Free. Spirit Lake, Idaho. spiritlakechamber. com (208-623-3411)
FILM PADDINGTON A young Peruvian bear with a passion for all things British travels to London in search of a home. Rated PG. June 17-18, at 1 pm. $3. The Kenworthy, 508 S. Main St. kenworthy. org (208-882-4127) SPOKANE FILM SOCIETY The local group screens a film to get audiences thinking, with each month focusing on a new theme. Beer/wine and food for purchase during the show. Thursdays at 9 pm. $5. Garland Theater, 924 W. Garland Ave. garlandtheater.com CARDBOARD CAR DRIVE-IN MOVIES Roll on in with your cardboard car and enjoy a free showing of The Incredibles (rated PG). Come two hour early to make a car. Children 10 and under should be accompanied by an adult. June 19, 3:30-7:30 pm. Free. Broadway Elementary, 11016 E. Broadway. scld.org KLINK’S RESORT SUMMER SHORTS Teams spend the weekend producing a short film at the lake or elsewhere in the region, with top entries screened in August. Filming weekend June 19-21. Klink’s on the Lake, 18617 Williams Lake Rd. facebook.com/TheKlinksResortSummerShort (509-235-2391) NEVERENDING STORY MOVIE A fantasy land is threatened by a mysterious force, and a brave boy must fight to save the magical world. Rated PG; 107 min. June 20, 2 pm. Free. Downtown Library, 906 W. Main Ave. (444-5330) DAZED & CONFUSED The Garland’s summer movie series returns, and includes beer specials from River City Brewing. Tuesday’s showings also include contests and prizes. June 21, 23 and 25. Garland Theater, 924 W. Gar-
land Ave. garlandtheater.com SPOKANE DRIVE-IN MOVIES: FOOTLOOSE Outdoor movies are screened, with drive-in or picnic-style seating. Gates open at 7 pm, with movies starting at dusk. $4-$5/person without a car; $20-$25/carload of 4+, or $5/ person for cars of 1-3 people. Cash only. June 23. Spokane Drive-In Movies (North), 4307 E. Mt. Spokane Park Dr. facebook.com/OutdoorMoviesSpokane OUTDOOR MOVIES @ RIVERFRONT: SPACE JAM A showing on the big screen with pre-show live entertainment, movie trivia and tasty food trucks. $5/pre-movie seating and entertainment (ages 5 and under free). Dog friendly and tobacco free. June 24, 7-10:30 pm. Riverfront Park. epiceap. com/spokane-outdoor-movies SPOKANE DRIVE-IN MOVIES: DAYS OF THUNDER Outdoor movies are screened with drive-in or picnic-style seating. Gates open at 7 pm, with movies starting at dusk. $4-$5/person without a car; $20-$25/carload of 4+, or $5/ person for cars of 1-3 people. Cash only. Concessions provided by local food trucks/businesses. June 24. Spokane Drive-In Movies (West), 750 N. Hayford. facebook.com/OutdoorMoviesSpokane
cider styles, flavor components, tasting procedures and more. RSVP required, to austin@libertycider.com. June 23, 7 pm. $20/person, Liberty Ciderworks, 164 S. Washington St. libertycider.com GOURMET GRILLING: STEAKS & VEGGIES Part of INCA’s Summer Sizzle Series, Chef Erin Streicher shares her favorite recipes for a summer of grilling. June 24, 6-8 pm. $49. Inland Northwest Culinary Academy (INCA), 1810 N. Greene. incaafterdark.scc.spokane.edu GRANDE RONDE VERTICAL TASTING A vertical tasting of 10 vintages of the winery’s Seven Hills Cabernet Sauvignon, beginning with the first release in 2007. Includes a three-course dinner. June 24, 7 pm. $75/person. Grande Ronde Cellars, 906 W. Second. granderondecellars.com (455-8161) SANDPOINT SUMMER SAMPLER The 10th annual food festival hosts local restaurants, breweries and wineries serving small bites of some of their most popular creations. Also includes a cooking competition hosted by Litehouse. All samples range in price from $1-$7. June 25, 5-8 pm. Farmin Park, Third and Main. sandpointchamber.org
FOOD & DRINK
CAMI BRADLEY LIVE! A concert to benefit Project ID, with food, a silent auction and wine available for purchase. Project ID is a recreation and life enrichment center for those with intellectual and developmental disabilities. June 19, 6-10 pm. $45. Barrister Winery, 1213 W. Railroad. (475-7185) KPBX KIDS’ CONCERT A concert by Greg and Jere Canote, identical twins whose music is steeped in vintage, Americana and novelty songs. June 19, noon. Free. Bing Crosby Theater, 901 W. Sprague Ave. bingcrosbytheater.com SUMMER CONCERT SERIES: ERIC TAYLOR This Texas musician is a master storyteller and has been influencing other songwriters for the last four decades. June 20, 7-9 pm. $15. Dahmen Barn, 419 N. Park Way, Uniontown, Wash. artisanbarn.org (509-229-3414)
GIRLS PINT OUT CDA MEETUP The Inland Northwest chapter of the national craft beer organization for women meets on the third Thursday of the month, from 6:30-8:30 pm. Free to attend. Free. Cork & Tap, 2034 Main St. girlsbeerblog.com (208-930-0769) FRUGAL TRAVELER SERIES: ITALY ON A DIME Take a virtual journey from the north, through Tuscany and to Sicily and the south, with a lineup of wines in the $8-$12 price range. June 19, 7 pm. $20, registration requested. Rocket Market, 726 E. 43rd. (343-2253) PEND D’OREILLE WINERY 20TH ANNIVERSARY The winery celebrates 20 years with wines specials and a live music. June 19-20. Pend d’Oreille Winery, 301 Cedar St. powine.com (877-452-9011) GROWING SMALL FRUITS WSU Master Gardener Steve Nokes discusses the planting, feeding, and pruning of small home fruits, including strawberries, raspberries, and blueberries. June 20, 10 am. Free and open to the public. Manito Park, 1800 S. Grand Blvd. thefriendsofmanito.org (456-8038) HOPPED UP BREWING SECOND ANNIVERSARY The brewery celebrates two years, releases its first Pilsner and hosts live music and local food truck Tacos el Guerro. June 20, 2-9 pm. Free to attend. Hopped Up Brewing Co., 10421 E. Sprague. on.fb.me/1MD3Oyd (413-2488) MUSIC, MICROS & BARBECUE The CdA Casino’s summer series, featuring music by the Ron Greene Trio (7-10 pm) and beer specials from Daft Badger, Trickster and Slate Creek. June 20, 5-10 pm. $17. CdA Casino, 37914 S Hwy 95. (800-523-2467) BARK ‘N’ BREW A dog-friendly festival, offering a barbecue and beer garden, live music, kids activities, silent auction, vendor fair and dog contests, with proceeds benefiting H.E.L.P. – Help Every Little Paw, a local nonprofit. June 21, 1-6 pm. Silver Mountain Ski Resort, 610 Bunker. (208-659-6408) CIDER APPRECIATION CLASS Liberty’s head cidermaker Rick Hastings presents an in-depth orientation on
MUSIC
SPORTS & OUTDOORS SPOKANE INDIANS VS. HILLSBORO HOPS Five-day game series, June 1822; Thu-Sat, Mon at 6:30 pm, Sun at 3:30 pm. Opening night (June 18) includes a fireworks show after the game. $5-$20. Avista Stadium, 602 N. Havana St. spokaneindiansbaseball.com COLVILLE PANORAMA RODEO Traditional rodeo events held nightly at 7 pm. Saturday also includes a parade at 1 pm and events from 2-6 pm. June 1920.Northeast Washington Fair Grounds, 317 W. Astor Ave. (509-684-2585) CHAFE 150 The Gran Fondo bike race offers 150-mile or 80-mile route options, starting and finishing in Sandpoint. Hosted by the Sandpoint Rotary Club to benefit the Lake Pend Oreille School District. June 20. $45-$75. chafe150.org JUSTIN C. HAEGER MEMORIAL RACE The ninth annual memorial race is run in the memory of its namesake, who passed away from a prescription drug overdoes in 2006. Offers a 3.1-mile or a 10-mile race. Proceeds support Daybreak Youth Services. June 20, 8 am. $10-$23. SFCC, 3410 W. Fort George