Power Over

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Sissy Mylrea - See Change Soulful Counselling & Hypnotherapy

Learn to recognise the signs of power misuse

One of the greatest gifts you can teach your child or yourself is about power and what it looks like in relationships. I have worked with thousands of children, families, and schools with a view that if I can educate about the cycle of power misuse that it would help stop cyclic violence.

Before I was educated in power in relationships, I thought violence was when there would be blood or physical signs that happened to others. Violence is more than that. It’s complex. Violence does not discriminate. I discovered through a unique non violence program Solving the Jigsaw that violence is using power over another to get them to do what you want. Using physical, verbal, emotional, monetary, and other sorts of power over / control methods, to make the person feel small so they will do what you want.

The first thing is to realise the power imbalance. The second part is to name it to the person if it is safe to do so or to tell someone you trust who may help. Use ‘I statements.’ Example: “ I feel unloved and disconnected when you say I overthink everything. Please stop saying that. I would feel more connected and have more clarity if you would sit and talk to me about this.”

Give it a go and don’t blame but say how you feel and start with ‘I’.