What about the kids?

Should we include our children in our wedding ceremony?

I rocked up for a wedding rehearsal recently and was greeted by Miss 5, who had a huge grin on her face as she announced: “ we are getting married, this is our wedding!” She was so proud to be the flower girl and lead the way for the bridal party as her mum walked down the aisle to stand beside her dad. The ring bearer was her big brother Mr 8, who did a smashing job of presenting the rings with a flourish. Some beautiful memories and wonderful photos created right there.

But sometimes that’s not quite how it goes. Weddings can be a bit overwhelming for littlies, let’s face it they can be a challenge for some grownups too! And teenagers, well who ever knows how that is going to play out on the day? Deciding the best way to include your children, to make them feel part of this very special moment without loading a heap of expectations and anxious pressure on them takes some forethought and planning You don’t want them to feel left out by not giving them a chance to take on a special role if they want

Leanne Smith Leanne Smith Civil Celebrant

to it’s a balancing act, for sure I also have quite vivid memories of beautifully dressed Miss 3 who marched, or perhaps stomped is a better word, down the aisle and upended her basket of flower petals, dumping them at her dad’s feet, then continued on behind the wedding arch and sat herself down with her back to all the guests fortunately, her parents knew their best option was to ignore her and they continued right on with ceremony.

Remember, you know your kids better than anyone, so don’t be pressured into trying to make them participate if you can see trouble ahead. Perhaps have a chat with older kids while planning your special day, explain what might happen during the wedding ceremony and also at the reception, and what they might be asked to do to help. Being flexible in your expectations and willing to go with the flow on the day if they change their mind is the key to keeping smiles on everyone ’ s face. For very small ones it’s a good idea to nominate a family member to take charge of them if they get restless, unless you don’t mind having a toddler hanging on at your knees or sitting on the train of your wedding dress as you exchange you vows…. certainly makes for gorgeous photos!

Personally, I love to see the excited looks on little faces, the proud smiles as an important task is completed in a ceremony and the embarrassed glances from the teenage kids when their parents declare their love for one another What better life lessons can you offer your children

Next time, lets talk about blending families Looking at ways to involve and include the children is fascinating, so many ideas! As one bride said we could be the Brady Bunch, Leanne! No, on second thoughts we would be the Addams Family!!

If you have questions or ideas about how to include your children on your special day, and keep them smiling- I’d love to hear from you anytime,

Leanne