The Quibbler Summer 2022

Page 98

QUIBBLER HOROSCOPES

HOGWARTS HORror-SCOPES Madam Starflash Sees what (mis)fortunes will befall you this season!

CAPRICORN THE THESTRAL

TAURUS THE WEREWOLF

VIRGO THE UNICORN

(DEC. 22ND — JAN. 19TH)

(APRIL 20TH — MAY 20TH)

(AUGUST 23RD — SEPT. 22ND)

Your worst fears will be the last thing you ever recall when the Dementors come to Kiss you upon your wrongful imprisonment.

In a brutal battle with another for the hand of your betrothed, you will find yourself the loser, both in love and life.

You will see the truth of human nature when you are stabbed in the back by the one you call your dearest friend.

AQUARIUS THE KELPIE

GEMINI THE VEELA

LIBRA THE DRAGON

(JAN. 20TH — FEB. 18TH)

(MAY 21ST — JUNE 20TH)

(SEPT. 23RD — OCT. 22ND)

You shall find yourself in mortal peril from the bite of a teething Venomous Tentacula, but you shall fall to the cry of the Mandrake before the bite even has a chance to paralyze you.

You will gamble with fortune, betting on the wrong side of a fight, and you will find yourself penniless and alone.

You shall find yourself trapped beneath the water’s surface, never to emerge, when you venture out to seek treasure on the ocean floor.

CANCER THE FIRECRAB

SCORPIO THE VAMPIRE

(JUNE 21ST — JULY 22ND)

(OCT. 23RD — NOV. 21ST)

A fire will ignite within your home and claim that which you hold most dear, leaving yourself and your spirit charred.

A rampaging hippogriff shall be the cause of your pain and despair when you forget to bow before attempting to approach.

LEO THE SPHINX

SAGITTARIUS THE CENTAUR

(JULY 23RD — AUGUST 22ND)

(NOV. 22ND — DEC. 21ST)

PISCES THE MERMAN (FEB.19TH — MARCH 20TH) You shall find yourself in mortal peril from the bite of a teething Venomous Tentacula, but you shall fall to the cry of the Mandrake before the bite even has a chance to paralyze you.

ARIES THE HIPPOGRIFF

Your most treasured possession will be lost to the sands of time when you choose to bring it with Devil’s Snare, Devil’s Snare, you shall find yourself you to the seaside. hopelessly entangled, and finally strangled by Devil’s Snare. (MARCH 21ST — APRIL19TH)

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You will be the victim of a false accusation and find yourself hanging upside down and shackled at the ankles in a dimly lit cavern.


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