life I’m beautiful, instead of insulting me and calling me something sweet like a whale, was surprisingly a big push in this whole weight loss saga.
desperately unhappy and I just didn’t know what else I could do.
I began counselling mid-2016 where the kindest woman was able to help me see It’s sad that since we are children, we are that my battle was not with my appearallowed to think that the appreciation of ance but with myself. My anger at my another is the amount we are worth when body was just a cover up for the deeper in fact, it is quite the opposite. You see, and darker problems in my mind which I after months of looking at myself in the never dealt with properly and if anything, panel mirror at the gym chanting in my starving myself was by far the worst thing head ‘you’re disgusting, you’ll I could’ve done, but that is what never amount to anything and society had led me to do. My Even you’re unattractive’, it actually teachers had called me out on though Kylie worked. I lost 25kg and I was Jenner has thin and even though I couldn’t a brilliant recognise myself, everyone liked body, she me more for it and that’s what probably mattered.
my boobs might not be even, that’s okay, because I’m a woman and nobody is perfect or the same and instead of crying, I should embrace myself for who I am. My respect for my body only really began when I grew respect for myself and although it wasn’t easy, it was worth it. I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself and nurture every part of you, whether it be your heart, your mind or your body. You are special, you are beautiful and you are more than anything you could ever dream of. We need to say this to each other more; we
sits at home
This is by far one of the hardest and sees a things I’ve ever had to comprepicture of hend. Why, when I was plump, J-Lo and did no one ever compliment my feels just outfit, my hair, my incredible as selfbottom or face? Why did all conscious as these random people who had the rest of never noticed me before, start to approach me and tell me I’m us. “looking great”? This became my drug. This new attention from men and women was very confusing but I couldn’t get enough. Every time I went out, at least three or four people would stop in the street or in a nightclub and compliment me. Everyone thought I was beautiful, more beautiful than before but why didn’t I feel it? Why did I still look in the mirror and look for more and more faults? This perception of ‘being thin means being happy’, is the biggest lie and I can’t believe I ever thought it was true. You see, the magazines don’t tell you that even though Kylie Jenner You are has a brilliant body, she probably special, you sits at home and sees a picture are beautiful of J-Lo and feels just as self-conand you are scious as the rest of us and that’s more than okay, because we’re human and anything you it’s fine to feel uncomfortable could ever about yourself sometimes.
dream of.
I remember once I went out and this lovely girl said “You’re looking incredible but just as incredible as before” and that really struck a chord with me. After months, it was just really really nice for someone to appreciate how I’ve always looked, and not tell me that I have improved. I had grown so tired of this battle with myself. I couldn’t handle this whole saga anymore because I was weak and realistically wasn’t eating enough for my brain to function that well. I was moody, I was stressed, and most of all, I was so GIBRALTAR MAGAZINE MARCH 2018
my weight, the bullies had called me out my weight, and my number one enemy, myself, had joined them. I think the push in the media by different women and the body empowerment movement over the last few years has really helped my perception of myself. This constant reminder that although
cannot carry on bashing each other and reducing one another to nothing. This battle with our image is ongoing but the more you empower each other, the easier this struggle will get. If you or someone you know needs someone to talk to, call SAM on 116123 or Childline on 8008. 53