life
YOU ARE ENOUGH In a world of airbrushed celebrities and filtered Instagram models, where do we fit in? And should we even try?
BY ALEX MENEZ
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I’d like to tell you about an odd experience I’ve had over the last few years. A while back in 2015, after years of lying in my bed eating cheap garlic bread, I decided it was enough and it was time for me to get my act together. After an The world around me was telling entire adolescence of disliking the way me I wasn’t beautiful, and I I looked, I decided to stop damaging my believed them. Although I was rich right body and looked for a healthbullied at school for the way I now and ier lifestyle. Sadly, I didn’t do looked, in hindsight I find that it In Gibraltar, we have My battle have a blue this the proper way. I instead a giant black cloud really wasn’t my biggest probwas not Fiat 500 if I downloaded the MyFitnessPal lem, it’s what I was taught by hanging over the term with my app onto my iPhone and allowed had a £1 for the society around me. These ‘mental health' and appearance myself only 400 calories a day influences stretch between our often love to pretend every time but with (the healthy amount being 1500 that ‘esto cosa no pasa education and of course, the an adult told myself. for women), essentially once en Gibraltar’, especially media. me I was too again, punishing myself for the in young people. I’d be young to be way I looked. I sat alone in my house back very rich right now and have a I found myself essentially unhappy. blue Fiat 500 if I had a £1 for ev- at university for 2 months, over exercising punishing myself for the way I and eating very little, leaving my body ery time an adult told me I was looked. You see, the world has weak and my mind even weaker. This too young to be unhappy or too young to conditioned us to strive for perfection, slowly became an obsession, pushing me understand. You know what? I wasn’t too which doesn’t exist, and the more you to grow a bad relationship with food, and I young, I wasn’t unaware and I was vullook for it, the more dangerous this all just couldn’t stop. The idea of having men nerable. We are all vulnerable, especially becomes. We can’t pretend that the scars approach me at clubs or bars and tell me when we’re young. in our mind are easy to heal, and if not 52
dealt with early in our adolescence, these can snowball into something much worse. These insecurities are more than just “I’m so fat” or “I’m too thin”. They’re negative thoughts that slowly develop in silence and next thing you know, you’re 21 and having some sort of I’d be very quarter-life crisis.
2 years later, I can still vividly remember the day I looked into the mirror and began to count my flaws.
GIBRALTAR MAGAZINE MARCH 2018