THE GAZETTE
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NEW YORK
Continued from Page B-4
F. Scott Fitzgerald Theatre
KEVIN JAMES SHAY
David Lettermanís show is done, but that doesnít mean we canít take home a piece of his set. it short and just drove the five hours home to Maryland, rather than find a hotel in New York, getting in at 1 a.m. I realize the safest way to park in that city is in a garage or lot, but that’s too easy for me. Besides, there have been numerous stories about people’s vehicles returning from garages and lots with odd scratches and dents. And there
are hidden rates in fine print on those come-on garage signs. New York Show Tickets, a company that provides marketing services to Broadway and television shows, even advises visitors on its website to not bring a new car to the city, but an older one “that already has some bumper damage.” The site also advises people to strap bumper protectors on their vehicles
and to make sure they fully inspect their cars before driving away from the garage. Garages will usually fix any damage if it’s clearly their fault, but you may have to take some cases to court, the site says. “Chances are you won’t have an easy time winning the battle,” they grimly state. New York is the biggest market for parking tickets in the U.S., making roughly $542 million in parking fines in fiscal 2014, an increase of $58 million from 2013, according to city budget figures. Chicago rakes in about half and LA less than one-third of that amount. D.C. — another city known for bloated bureaucracy — receives even less than LA with about $84 million in 2014. But D.C. makes significantly more than Baltimore, which “only” collected some $21 million in parking fines in 2014. Taken in that context, Montgomery County’s parking ticket revenue in fiscal 2014 is barely worth mentioning at about $10 million. That doesn’t include what Rockville and other incorporated cities take in. Towing fees gave New York another $24 million in 2014, parking meter revenue another $204 million, and redlight and speed cameras another $30 million. On top of that, New York took in about $48 billion in various taxes in 2014, including about $20 billion in property taxes and $6.5 billion in sales taxes. And it doesn’t seem that even 0.00000001 percent of those billions go toward improving signage so out-oftown visitors and others might better understand where they can and cannot park and avoid spending time and money at the tow pound. Or adding signs that inform visitors whose cars are towed to call 311 or check the city website. You’d almost think New York officials want a certain percentage of visitors to be ticketed and towed to keep their multimillion-dollar parking ticket and towing scheme going. After all, it’s a more significant sum that is built into their budgets than any other U.S. city. New York is a city, like no other I know, where something magical and something tragic can happen at the exact same time. I likely won’t return for awhile, but I will return. Like a black widow spider, New York lures you in with its charms, then at the zenith of your most enjoyable moment, it bites your head off. And perhaps that’s precisely the way it should be. kshay@gazette.net
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out of here with that or hand it over. If my boss sees you walking around with it, I can get in big trouble.” I agreed to leave. Our car had been fortunate enough to not get ticketed, so we drove around looking for a better parking spot. We almost had one on 55th Street, but our vehicle would have blocked part of a driveway. I was experienced enough to know that parking in front of a driveway in New York is the ultimate sin. So we ventured all the way to 60th Street, finding a few open spaces near Columbus Avenue. Parking signs in New York are designed to be as ambiguous and confusing as possible. They have stumped better people with more magical interpretative powers than me. Few of them state what times permits are good for, so you have to assume if they don’t state times, they are effective 24-7. Even if they aren’t. I knew that as our showtime approached. I didn’t see any large “No standing” or “No parking” signs on that street next to the Church of St. Paul the Apostle. So I parked there, figuring I would return in a few hours after the performance and move it. As I walked down the block, I looked at other vehicles to see if any had special permits. I couldn’t find any, so that was good enough for me. It was a Saturday afternoon, and surely the parking czars would be more lenient than on a weekday, right? “Gigi” was an enjoyable show — McKenna grew up watching “High School Musical,” and Vanessa Hudgens is among her favorite actresses. She was thrilled to see the action live from the third row. Afterward, we were hungry, so we walked through Times Square and ate at Planet Hollywood. It was a good time until we walked back to retrieve our car. Problem was it was nowhere to be found. I spied a city tow truck down the street and asked the driver if he knew the whereabouts of my car. He pointed to a small sign partially-hidden by trees, reading “Doctors parking only.” He told me my car was likely in the tow pound. I knew enough not to argue with him about that sign being all but hidden down the street from where I parked, not stating the times it was effective and how few other vehicles parking on that street actually had permits. He was just a puppet of the New
York Towing Machine, which involves Mayor Bill de Blasio, city budget and transportation chiefs, the unions, the Mafia and the remains of Jimmy Hoffa supposedly buried under the old Giants Stadium in New Jersey that was conveniently demolished in 2010. I asked the driver if he had a phone number for the pound, and he gave me one and the address. At no time did he tell me to call 311 or check a city website where you can actually discover if your car was impounded. That would have been extremely helpful. There should have been signs up mentioning such a website or telling visitors to call 311 if their car is missing. But this is New York, remember? At the only other time in my considerable number of years of driving that my car was towed, there were actually signs on the Bethesda street with phone numbers on them. And when I called, a human answered and told me my car was towed, not stolen. The driver even drove it back to me, releasing it after I paid the $200 fee and fine. I tried calling the tow pound number several times and only got lost in recording hell. I didn’t have much cash left for a cab ride, so McKenna and I walked about 2 miles to the pound. Not only did I not want to give anyone in that city more money than I had to at that point, but I needed a long walk to cool my anger. As we walked, I could only hope my car was at that pound and not another, or it had not been stolen. By the time I entered the tow pound, I was calm enough to just state exactly what was necessary to retrieve my car. I didn’t question why a pound would need a copy of my insurance card that I had to retrieve from my car under the watchful eyes of a guard. I thought the registration and license would be enough, but whatever. I did ask why I had to sign two receipts. They charge a fee if you pay by credit card, rather than cash or money order. And they don’t take personal checks. I ended up paying about $190 and later learned I could dispute the ticket online. We received our car quickly enough. It helps going in the evening and not afternoon. McKenna seemed to enjoy our little tour of the tow pound and asked why there was something like 100 tow trucks there. I told her that’s how they make a lot of money off people like us, and they have to justify the expense of all those trucks. The bottom line is this experience soured our visit to the point that I cut
Wednesday, June 10, 2015 b
603 Edmonston Dr. Rockville, MD 20851 Victorian Lyric Opera Company presents
Gilbert & Sullivan’s
RUDDIGORE Fridays June 12 & 19 @ 8pm Saturdays June 13 & 20 @ 8pm June 20 @ 2pm Sundays June 14 & 21 @ 2pm
Tickets: Adult $24 Seniors 65+ $20 Students $16 (Group Rates available) Tickets available at
240-314-8690 or
www.rockvillemd.gov/theatre
157339G
Another fun filled event from The Gazette!
HILTON WASHINGTON DC NORTH/GAITHERSBURG
WE’RE BACK!! JUNE 19, 2015 • 4-8 PM
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