Family Matters, by Jaimee Nelsen In this feature, Family Law expert Jaimee Nelsen will answer a reader’s question.
where your child lives to ensure you are established as the legal father of your child. Without legal status, you are as good as a stranger in the court system. Once you have established paternity, you have all of the legal rights and responsibilities that come along with being a father. This includes the right of visitation, the right to pass along your property if you die, and the right to pay child support! Filing for visitation is the first step to ensuring regular parenting time with your child. Surprisingly, this right isn’t so much your right to see your child as it is your child’s right to see YOU! Every child deserves a dad and stepping up to have some parenting time is an excellent first step.
Question I’m about to come home and my baby’s mom said that I can’t see my son because I haven’t been there for either of them for the past five years. What do I do? ~ Rasheem H., Green Haven, NY
Answer If you haven’t already, the first thing you need to do is establish paternity. You may know that the child is yours because he looks just like you, but that doesn’t mean that you will be legally recognized as his dad in a court of law. If you weren’t married to the mom at the time your son was born and your name isn’t on the birth certificate, you will probably have to file a petition at the local family court
Food for Thought
If you haven’t seen your child in a while, you will probably be granted supervised visitation at first. This is because your child might not know you very well, and the judge doesn’t know you either. This is about making sure your child is safe and has a safe space where he can get to know you. In addition, it gives the judge a chance to get to know you a little better through a neutral supervisor who will report back to the court. Chances are your child will have a great time, and the visit supervisors will report that back to the judge. If the supervised visitation continues to go well, the judge will typically slowly increase the duration and frequency of your visitation and sometimes even allow unsupervised or overnight visits if both you and your child agree to them. If the mom tries to interfere with your court-ordered visitation, you will have the
What is the one thought, motto, phrase, or quote that keeps you going through hard times?
appraise myself more, to really not care what other people think. ~Adam, aka “A Butta”, Rikers Island
“If who you are is what you have and what you have is lost, then who are you?”
“Live, laugh and love, cause at the end of the day, tomorrow is a new beginning. But tomorrow is not a promise!”
When I read that quote, it made me think like wait a minute, I’m locked up, I ain’t got shit. Who da f--- am I? From then on I just started to see what kind of individual I really am. I found out that materialistic shit don’t make me anything…I learned to
I’ve lived life to the fullest but not to my best ability. I feel like I’ve experienced the good, bad and ugly by being here in prison! I’m so lucky, to be here healthy, well, and alive. I’m still not going to give up. I’ve come a long way to realize that I
power of the court behind you to enforce the order. This means that the mom could potentially be fined or even incarcerated if she is found to be in contempt of court. Please remember that the time you spend with your child is for you to be the best father you can, so don’t use the time to talk bad about your son’s mom. You wouldn’t want anyone speaking bad about your mom, would you? Good luck. Jaimee Lynn Nelsen, Ed.M., Esq. received her masters degree from Harvard University and her J.D. from City University of New York School of Law. She formerly worked for the Administration for Children’s Services (ACS) in New York City where she prosecuted neglect and abuse cases. She has been working at The Fortune Society for nearly two years. Do you have a question for Jaimee? Please write to: The Fortune Society, Attn: Colleen Koch, Editor of Fortune News, 29-76 Northern Blvd., Long Island City, NY 11101 *This column is not a consultation with an attorney and should in no way be construed as such or as a substitute for such consultation. Anyone with legal issues or concerns should seek the advice of his or her own attorney.
Who inspires you the most, and why? Please submit your Food for Thought to The Fortune Society, Attn: Colleen Koch, Editor of Fortune News, 29-76 Northern Blvd, Long Island City, NY 11101.
love my life cause I’m still here to fix it and to be successful. Cause at the end of the day, tomorrow is a new beginning. ~Jose E. Montanez, Rikers Island “The sky is the limit.” I like this quote because it let’s me know nothing is impossible. Any goal you make you can reach as long as your mind is set to it. And one of my favorite rap artists, Biggie Smalls, used it in his song called “Sky is the Limit”. ~Gabriel Cesar, Rikers Island
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