THE FLAT HAT
Page 6
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
STAFF COLUMN
I Stay Up Late, and I Feel Great Vivian Hoang
FLAT HAT EXECUTIVE EDITOR
GRAPHIC BY ISABEL LI // THE FLAT HAT
Recently, while scrolling through Facebook reels (yes, there are Facebook users under the age of 45; we exist, damn it), I stumbled across a short video showing the nighttime routine of a young stay-athome mom. To my surprise, her sleep schedule, the primary selling point of her videos, was quite unorthodox as she put her toddler to bed at 12:00 a.m. and did an array of household tasks such as buying groceries (New York City never sleeps, luckily), cleaning her house, preparing meals and doing yoga until her bedtime at 5:00 a.m.. For most people, 5:00 a.m. seems utterly insane for a bedtime. But for me, a lifelong night owl, the sight of that time blinking at me by my alarm clock before I close my eyes for the night is nothing but familiar. So I was pleasantly surprised and almost comforted to not only see someone’s sleep schedule resemble mine, but also that the person was a high-functioning mother taking care of two, healthy happy children — the very antithesis of who society deems to be a night owl. However, the comments section greatly diverged from my positive reaction to the short video; it was littered with angry comments from other parents across the worldwide web scolding her for allowing her toddler to be up so late (How will she ever adjust when it’s time to go to school at 6 a.m?!?!) or being such an irresponsible mother for staying up into the wee hours of the morning (What kind of example are you setting for your kids?!?!?). But I found these comments to be overly judgmental and grossly misguided. What I saw, above all else, was a hardworking and productive mother. To me, the hour of the day shouldn’t dictate when an action can be considered ‘productive.’ She was still caring for her child and her home all the same as a traditional, early-rising mom. Why should it matter what time of the day she completes her chores? Too often, those who prefer late bed and wake-up times are seen as lazy, unmotivated and irresponsible. We are seen as habitual mismanagers of time who are only staying up because we so stupidly procrastinated or goofed around during the day. To say that we slept at 3 a.m. last night evokes mental images of us scrolling on YouTube or playing video games with other teenage miscreants disobeying their ‘natural’ sleep cycles. Even worse, society constantly bombards us with the narrative that “the early bird gets the worm” and pressures us into feeling guilty if we sleep in because we already feel like the day has started on the wrong foot if we’re not up early. To further reinforce this sentiment, society structures itself around the cookie-cutter nine-to-five model in which most working adults are expected to be up by 7 a.m. — maybe 8 a.m. if you’re lucky — to get themselves (and often their children) ready and commute to work. However, this model completely disregards those with delayed circadian rhythms or other personal circumstances that may not be conducive to an early wake-up time. Let’s use me as an example. No matter how hard I’ve tried — and I’ve been trying since middle school — I simply cannot be an early riser. I’ve tried taking sleeping aids, doing cognitive behavioral therapy, moving my bedtime up thirty minutes each day and more — you name it, I’ve done it. Even if I have early commitments in the day, whether it be doctor’s appointments or classes, I will always stay up late and sacrifice a full night of 8 hours of sleep. Why, you may ask? Call me crazy, but I genuinely feel more awake past midnight and can cognitively process information much faster than I do during the day, which is when I almost always experience a constant head fog and drowsiness. I swear once the sun goes down I feel like a shot of preworkout is injected in my veins, and I’m roaring on all four cylinders. There’s no chance I’d fall asleep at 11 p.m. all hopped up on energy and wired to tackle my homework and daily chores.
But there might be a logical reason for my flip-flopped internal clock. I once read that naturally delayed sleep rhythms can be traced back to the evolutionary past. Back in prehistoric times, certain tribe members were assigned to keep watch for predators and intruders all throughout the night, likely because this tactic yielded higher survival rates than tribes who did not undertake this venture. I like to think that I hail from a line of formidable overnight sentinels who protected their village through the daunting, pitch-black night until the crack of dawn when they would then hit the hay (literally). However, this prehistoric model obviously does not translate well in contemporary American society, which is why the nine-to-five working model does not and will not ever probably work for me. And now’s probably a good time to mention that my ‘late’ sleep schedule is exacerbated by chronic insomnia. And, no, my insomnia is not from ‘mismanaging’ my time by scrolling on my phone or studying too much — it has been diagnosed by many professionals. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always slept terribly; I’ll regularly wake up wide awake after 3 hours of sleep, be desperately counting sheep until 9:30 a.m waiting for a tide of sleepiness to finally wash over me or erratically wake up dozens of times in the night. Therefore, having my commitments in the late afternoon and evening gives me a much more room to squeeze in a full seven to eight hours of shut eye in broken up chunks before I need to be publicly perceived, and it allows me to work the most productively at the hours most suited for me: between 12-3 a.m. The traditional nine-to-five working model, however, fails to take into account the differences in people’s internal clocks and invisible conditions like insomnia or delayed sleep phase disorder that so many people like me must deal with on a daily basis. I’m tired of being punished and perceived negatively for things beyond my control — for genetic and physiological factors that I cannot change. Will I always be relegated to working overnight shifts at 24-hour gyms or hardware stores? Am I really spending my undergraduate days at one of the best universities in the state only to become an overnight Wawa worker serving starved, drunken teens the same chicken bacon ranch quesadillas I would eat after late nights out? Why should my options be so limited because I deviate from society’s norms of an ‘early riser?’ Because one of my ancestors stood outside of a cave at 3 in the morning and, somewhere along the line, the Hoang family DNA inherited a strain of sleeplessness that I now have? Seriously? Besides, as I alluded to in the beginning of this piece, time does not exist and is quite literally a manmade construction. Hours and minutes and seconds are only real because we choose to believe in them; there is no ‘right’ hour to eat dinner or exercise or, most importantly, go to bed. Any and all perceptions we have of a given hour in the day have been decided and perpetuated by ourselves. So that means that we also have the power to change these perceptions. Folks, it’s time to end this heinous stigmatization of night owls because there’s more underneath our feathers than you realize — we’re a diverse bunch. Contrary to popular belief, nighttime can double as a time for sleep and productivity. Like the aforementioned mother of two, I’m a living example that not all night owls are simply unwise with their time. In the past few weeks, I’ve marinated chicken, cleaned the bathroom, made Valentine’s day cards, wrote cover letters and folded laundry around 2-3 a.m. when most of my peers were sound asleep because I was able to perfectly tailor my class schedule to my needs so that my day starts after 12 p.m.. I wasn’t half-asleep or forced to stay up because of prior procrastination; I willingly chose to do these things when I felt the most functional and mentally present. This is the model I wish society would better understand and open itself up to. And, of course, society should also strive to be more inclusive of those who are predisposed to this nocturnal disposition and can’t help it as much as we try. So start treating us with more grace and sensitivity. Catch yourself before you ask, “Why the hell were you up so late last night?!” Let us night owls spread our wings and soar into the night sky because I promise, we get the worm just fine on our own.
Vivian Hoang ’24 is a history major and is working towards selfdesigning a second journalism & mass communications major. On campus, she serves as the executive editor of The Flat Hat, Chief-of-Staff of Flat Hat Magazine, a peer consultant at the Writing Resources Center and a teaching assistant in the Speech Department. You can contact Vivian at vvhoang@wm.edu — just don’t be surprised if you get a response at 3 a.m.
STAFF COLUMN
Why I'm Locked in with LinkedIn John Powers
FLAT HAT OPINIONS ASSOC.
I’ll be honest — when I joined The Flat Hat as an associate opinions editor in January, I went to LinkedIn, edited my job history and started connecting with people who work here. I’m not alone. LinkedIn is popular with college students, especially among very motivated students like us. 50% percent of people with a bachelor’s or an advanced degree use the platform in the United States, and we can expect it to become more popular in the coming years. It’s a phenomenal way to find new jobs, build relationships and maintain your list of contacts. As conversations of what your summer plans are ramp up as the internship search reaches its peak, we’re reminded of how valuable tools like LinkedIn and networking are. But, I would be remiss to say there is no cause for concern over our ubiquitous networking culture. Sometimes, scrolling through LinkedIn feels like a dog and pony show in which people race to flaunt their new positions or highlight perfectly crafted posts to give future employers and their connections a taste of who they are. Others connect with people just to get to the coveted “500+ connections” distinction or endorse someone’s skills hoping the favor is returned. This is how our world works: we live in an era dominated by social media and technology. We’re incentivized to connect with those we don’t even know to unlock other connections. We have an interest in building a brand and promoting ourselves. But I do not fault anyone who participates in that dog and pony show — after all, I’m guilty as charged. Yet one can’t help but think that most of the LinkedIn and networking culture is rather conceited. The structure of it is rooted in pride rather than service. Scrolling through the dog and pony show often has the effect of making you feel inferior and unqualified, and since showing off accomplishments is the norm on LinkedIn, you might even feel envy. With the nuanced reality of LinkedIn and networking in mind, I did not think that Linda Thomas-Greenfield, the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, would offer any insights into this discourse.
“[F]ind a way to serve,” Thomas-Greenfield said, encouraging students to spend at least two years in public service. “Service will make the world better, but it will also make you better. It will enrich your life. And trust me on that, because I feel I have such a rich life. You will find, as I have, that nothing is more rewarding than a life of service to others. And regardless of the field you go into — whether it’s business or academia or engineering — know this: your responsibility to the world is not defined by your title." Indeed, serving others is good for one’s mental health, which can lead to more productivity at work. It is also a way to gain fulfillment and avoid quiet quitting, in which employees feel so discontent at work that they only perform the bare minimum duties of their jobs. As many of us arrange our career plans for the summer, I would encourage my peers to use LinkedIn for networking. Write posts celebrating a new job. Hit the connect button. Always be sure to like and comment on your friends’ positive “career update” posts. Do not, though, forget about the idea of service to others and fulfillment in your life. Seek out opportunities not only for their prestige or influence, but also for the impact that they will have on your life and the lives of others. Don’t just apply to jobs that will look good on your resume. Instead, use your skills and knowledge in a productive way. Ultimately, that matters more than just a title.
John Powers '26 is a prospective Public Policy major who hails from Brooklyn, New York. He is a proud member of the William and Mary Debate Society. Contact at jdpowers@wm.edu.
STAFF COLUMN
I'm Walkin' Here! Ellie Kurlander
FLAT HAT OPINIONS ASSOC.
It's a rainy Monday morning. You accidentally set your alarm for 7:30 p.m. instead of 7:30 a.m. You open your eyes, ready to take on the day blissfully unaware of your error. You roll over and check your phone only to be sucker-punched with the reality that it is 7:50 a.m. and you have ten minutes to make it to class. You sprint out of bed, throw on whatever clothes are lying on the top of your hamper, grab your backpack, pray to the backpack gods you packed all of your school supplies and you're off. It's 7:53 a.m. Your dorm is approximately a 6-minute and 20-second walk to Small Hall. It's a close call but doable. Everything is going well. You see the end in sight. Then suddenly, you see them — the person standing between you and your professor's strict attendance policy. In the morning haze, the screen's glow is so close to their face that it creates the illusion of a cyborg-like creature. Man and machine have become one. Their walk toes the line of looking robotic and like someone trying to pass a sobriety test — one foot slowly in front of the other, calculated, rhythmic and so unbearably slow. The sidewalk is too small. There is no way you'll be able to walk around them. You're presented with two options: you could walk behind them and hope time magically stops long enough to make it to your destination, or you could walk through the swamp that used to be the grass outside Swem. However, no matter what you choose, you are now late for class. The immediate conclusion might be that the person who set the wrong alarm is at fault. However, the real antagonist of the story is the student on their phone. The first student left their dorm with enough leeway to make it to class with one minute to spare. Without the distracted student, they would have made it to their class on time. I also implore readers to view this situation through a lens of empathy. How would you feel knowing your class tardiness was due to someone reading about Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox's alleged breakup on Daily Mail? The frustration of being stuck behind a distracted walker is a daily occurrence for most students on campus. If you haven't experienced the pure, unadulterated rage of being in this position, I hate to break it to you, but you are likely the offender. This occurrence is so common there is now an official name for it: "twalking." Twalking isn't only annoying, but it can also quickly become hazardous for the texter and those around them. There's a reason we have an improv group called Trippin' on Brix. The name is true to what happens daily to unsuspecting students — typically those distracted by their phones. The same goes for crossing the street. I've learned the hard way that bikers on campus stop for no one. To avoid fresh tire marks on your clothes, I recommend eliminating the common thread linking these accidents: phones. To really drive the point home, I'll offer a final analogy. Imagine deciding to drive 40 mph in the leftmost lane of an interstate highway with a posted 70 mph speed limit. Not only are you a nuisance to the cars behind you, but you're also obstructing the flow of traffic, likely distracted and at an increased risk of collision with other cars. While you don't have to act like you're playing Mario Kart or training for a professional speed walking competition, if you see more than ten people in your periphery sacrificing the cleanliness of their shoes or walking on grass to pass you, it might be time to look up. A technology-free walk to class can be unrealistic for some. I know I have been guilty of compulsively checking my phone on the way to class. Maybe your Spotify Daily Mix played the most heinous song you've ever heard in your entire life, and you need to skip it immediately or else your day will be ruined. Totally get it. Or worse, you're about to walk by someone you ghosted on Tinder. Obviously, you have to pretend to be busy responding to something important on your phone to avoid any interaction with them. However, if you find yourself incapable of getting between point A and point B without checking your phone, it may be time to reconsider your relationship with technology. Start slow. Begin by being mindful of your daily screen time. Can you reduce your time by ten minutes? Thirty minutes? To point you in the right direction (literally), here are some questions to consider before picking up your phone. Considerate: Are there others around you? Are you conscious of your pace slowing down as you walk? Will this require others behind you to alter their pace? Urgent: Did you receive a notification that needs your immediate attention? Maybe you got an SOS text from a friend, your parents sent a cryptic text or your professor decided to switch classrooms for the day and sent a last-minute email. These may be understandable reasons to quickly read the message or respond with a brief text or phone call. Timely: Are you in a rush? If you are, why are you on your phone at all? If you aren't, be courteous, step aside and let the rest of the students running late do their awkward walk or jog to class. Environment: Are you in an area with limited sidewalk space? Is this a high-traffic time of day? Do you have to cross the street? If you answer yes to any of these questions, maybe now is not a great time to be on your phone. It is tough to be left alone with your thoughts for the five to ten minutes it takes to reach your final destination. More than that, we have conditioned ourselves to move through life while flipping from one source of intellectual, social or comedic enrichment to another. A smartphone allows you to be a tap away from all three. However, by making the conscious effort to go phone-free during your walk, you may discover that you have the mental fortitude to get to where you need to go without needing a distraction. The New York Times article, the Instagram story, the half-written text, even this article will still be there when you arrive at your destination. Filling every gap in time with a distraction is a slippery slope toward an unhealthy relationship with technology. Putting down your screen is an exercise of mindfulness and an expression of kindness towards yourself and those around you.
Ellie Kurlander '24 is a Government and Art History double major from Atlanta, Georgia. She formerly served as Flat Hat Magazine's Editor-in-Chief and is a member of Phi Sigma Pi. While she currently resides in Florence, Italy, Ellie misses her daily attempts to domesticate campus squirrels. Contact at eikurlander@wm.edu. GRAPHIC BY MONICA BAGNOLI // THE FLAT HAT