TRUST ISSUES

The experiences of each of these women illustrate how even well-known women, supposedly held in high regard by society, are met with heightened skepticism and dismissal. Even women society “likes” or popularizes are not trusted when they need it the most. Even fame is not a ticket to simply being believed.

Why?

Perhaps these women simply refuse to fit into society’s need for the “victim aesthetic.” Meghan, Meg, and Rose are each considered strong, independent, and confident women None of them fit the mold of a defenseless “victim,” weak and without the power to fend for themselves.

The need for a woman to appear as a defenseless victim in order to be believed is so ingrained in our society that dismissal and disbelief even find their way past popular culture and armchair experts into our legal system. As Meg fights for justice, she is facing attacks on her character both inside and outside the courtroom In the New York Times, Meg wrote: “Even as a victim, I have been met with skepticism and judgment. The way people have publicly questioned and debated whether I played a role in my own violent assault proves that my fears about discussing what happened were, unfortunately, warranted ”

And as Jemele Hill, writer for The Atlantic, put it, “Black-girl magic sadly doesn’t extend to being believed or treated humanely. That’s why Black women have to fight vehemently and often alone for their own dignity ” Every time society reinforces the need for a victim aesthetic, it perpetuates the patriarchal systems of oppression women have suffered for generations in all of our institutions. Instead of dismissing the experiences of women who are brave enough to speak up for themselves, we need to believe them We need to trust in them Every woman deserves to be heard, trusted, and believed

Author’s Note: No conversation about the erasure of women in our society is complete without mentioning a variety of perspectives and experiences. However, I want to take time to acknowledge that some of the views and experiences I’ve written about in this piece are not my own. As a cis, white woman, I know I will never truly understand what it means to be a black or trans woman. Let me be clear, no trans woman or woman of color needs a cis, white woman to speak for them. Instead, I simply hope to shed light on the breadth and scope of the problematic experiences all women face.

A Note from Samantha Martin, Founder of FEMISH: At FEMISH our entire existence is based in the truth of intersectionality. As a white, cis woman, I will never know the struggles black and/or trans women experience. We feel when we do not have a first experience perspective, it is better to still address the issue while acknowledging our own privilege, instead of not assigning space to these major societal issues. We welcome any insight, criticism, and advice. Always.