Express Magazine

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Linda Taylor/ 14

Sevetri Wilson/ 16

Terry Bams/ 26

Keith Tillage/ 20

Table Of Contents Publsher’s Notes/ 7 Weekender/ 10, 16, 22, 28 On location at the 2012 Essence Fest

Elevate/ 14

Linda Taylor: “A Women of many Hats”

Live/ 16

Sevetri Wilson: “Quality Supply Meets Community Demands”

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Achieve/ 20

Keith Tillage: “Learn from the best”

Connect/ 26

Terry Bams : “The mind of a Womanizer


Editor’s Letter

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very now and then, we bump into one of our old classmates either from high school or college. The number one question asked is, “So what have you been up to?” Don’t confuse the meaning of this question. They aren’t inquiring about whether or not you got married or if you have any kids. They don’t want to hear about your trip to Africa this summer and how it felt to totally embrace your culture. And they really don’t care about how you’ve given up fried foods and how much better you feel now. They want to know what you do for a living. You may think, “Why is that so important?” Well, they want to determine how much money you are making and if you are doing what you said you were going to do. After the brief conversation, you will leave feeling one of two ways about the situation: 1) I’m doing better than I thought, if that’s all they have going on; or 2) I need to step up my game, if they have all that going on. You may leave wondering how it is that a person with so much potential isn’t farther in life, or how it is that a person we consider lacking in potential got so far in life. In our inaugural issue of The Express Magazine, we explore those questions. Enjoy!

Nicole Jocleen Editor-in-Chief

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Masthead

STYLE

ENTERTAINMENT

CULTURE

Team Express SEVETRI WILSON AUGUST 2012

Follow us on: Twitter @ TheExpressMag ExpressMag on FaceBook

Publisher & Editorial Director Derrius M. Montgomery

Managing Editor Norman Dotson

Contributing Writers Nicole Jocleen, Norman Dotson, Evan Taylor, Patti Light, Kirsten Lee, Cameron Leach, Tenise Brown

Copy Editor Patti Light

Contributing Photographer Peter Forest, Aaron Cormier

Art Director Jerome Vernell Jr.

Online Editor Evan Taylor

Interns Brandon Hurst

Magazine Design and Layout Jerome Vernell Jr., Norman Dotson, Evan Taylor

Online Creative Director Brandon Pennywell

Editor-In-Chief Nicole Jocleen

Express Media & Entertainment

Business Consultant Karla J. Montgomery KMG Consulting Group, LLC.

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CEO & President Derrius M. Montgomery

Newsstand Celinda Wilson

Accounting Jeremy Klibert Faulk & Winker, LLC

Submissions Express Media & Entertainment info@theexpressmag.com


Publisher’s Letter

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ith a little bit of faith and a determined spirit, no one can stop you from achieving great success. This is the philosophy with which Express Magazine was created, and it is with great pride – and humility – that I present our premiere issue. The result of an inspired and dedicated team, this launch is proof that nothing is impossible to those who believe. Express is a contemporary publication dedicated to reflecting the lifestyles, values and intellectual pursuits of affluent, young professionals. Our mission is to provide a forum that serves as an innovative conduit and a source of empowerment, bringing our readers inspirational knowledge that reflects our culture, views, and interests. With that in mind, the inaugural issue focuses on “How We Made It,” bringing you insight into the success and strategies of some of our area’s finest professionals. So now, ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I present to you Southern Louisiana’s newest publication: The Express Magazine.

Derrius M. Montgomery Publisher & Editorial Director Follow me at @dmisexpress

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This is our to-do list of the hottest topics and happenings in and around

This is our to-do list of the hottest topics and happenings in and aroun Politics- Obamacare Individual Mandate Tax Upheld

In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court upheld the “individual mandate” requiring anyone who does not have health insurance to pay a one percent tax on their income starting in 2014. Concerned citizens mustknow about this mandate, which is part of President Barack Obama’s historic plan to overhaul health care in America and will provide health care for a projected 32 million when the bill takes full effect in 2014.

Film- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

This horror/biographical flick about the 16th U.S. President has already brought in roughly $16 million. The film gives viewers a taste of both gritty action movies and informative historical films, touching on actual pivotal points in Lincoln’s life (like the death of his mother during his childhood) while blending in the carnage of a vigilant crusade against a horde of vampires. It’s a definite must-see for all nerds, geeks, and vampire buffs - if you happen to have the time and a few extra dollars lying around.

Television- The Return to Dallas

J.R. Ewing returns in the resurrection of the 1978-1991 primetime soap opera “Dallas.” This is far from a reboot, but rather a continuation of the storyline with the series’ impressive and witty way of combining old cast members with new, younger characters while keeping with original cynical business dealings of the original. The series has garnered favorable reviews and an impressive following in its short months and made our must-see list for summer “guilty pleasure” viewing.

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the city - all those things you simply “must” see, do, have or know

nd the the city city -- all all those those things things you you simply simply “must” “must” see, see, do, do, have have or or know. know. nd Books- Fifty Shades of Grey

This New York Times best-seller by author E.L. James has been on the list since mid-March and shows no signs of slipping. The story follows a young literature student named Anastasia Steele and her relationship with Christian Grey, exploring their dark erotic desires for one another and the increasing intensity of the demons of Grey’s past. This book is the first in a trilogy of best-sellers focused on the relationship of Steele and Grey, a mustread for afficianados of the genre – or those who just want to know what everyone else is talking about

Music- Live From The Underground

Southern rap artist Big K.R.I.T. released his debut album earlier this summer; and though it may slightly fall short of his highly acclaimed mixtapes, “Live from the Underground” is still a force to be reckoned with. With his thought-provoking lyricism and traditional southern rap feel the artist’s first studio album is a much needed refreshing breath for Southern rap and hip-hop in today’s mainstream media. K.R.I.T. delivers a nearly perfect blend of social politics with materialistic rap euphemisms, without sounding as if he was trying too hard. “Live From The Underground” is on store shelves everywhere right now, and this is a must-have if you are into the old school southern rap groove.

Technology- Macbook Pro 2012

The geniuses at Apple have unveiled the slimmer, more powerful Macbook Pro. The processing speed has increased leaps and bounds running on Intel’s latest Core i7 Ivy Bridge, which allows it to perform much faster than any of its predecessors and boot up in about 12 seconds. There are also improvements in graphic design, with a retina display that offers 2800 x 1880 resolution producing a crisp view that rivals that of the iPad. The improved thermal cooling system alleviates previous overheating issues, which should be a relief on people’s laps. Macbook Pro 2012 is a must-have for any die hard Apple fan looking for an upgrade this year. theexpressmag.com

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MCDONALD’S 365 BLACK AWARDS 1. MARY MARY 2. KEVIN HART 3. PASTOR T.D. JAKES 4. EVE

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Style Latrice Pinkins

To Wink or not to Wink...that is the question A Nicole Jocleen interview

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diva wouldn’t be caught dead without her lashes, whether she’s indulging in a night on the town or simply taking a trip to the mall. She knows the power of the lash. I asked Latrice Pinkins, whose store U-Wink Eyelash Extensions is dedicated solely to eyelash extensions, for her insight on this must-have necessity. Nicole: False eyelashes have been a common trend since the 1960s, but it wasn’t until around 2004 that the lash-by-lash extensions became popular. What are the benefits of this process compared to false eyelashes? Latrice: Eyelash extensions are better for your lashes, because they are applied to each individual strand of your natural lash. It allows them to grow out without damaging your natural lashes. Nicole: When did you begin to notice the lash-by-lash trend in Baton Rouge? Latrice: I don’t think there ever was a trend in Baton Rouge for eyelash extensions. U-Wink created the trend. We are the first and only store in Baton Rouge that is dedicated solely to eyelash extensions. We specialize in eyelash extensions, and it is our main service Nicole: How long is the application process?

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Latrice: It takes anywhere between one and two hours for a full set. Nicole: How long do the extensions last? Latrice: Lash extensions last up to six weeks with proper care and maintenance. Most people come back for a refill every two to four weeks. Nicole: How much should I expect to pay when I come to U-Wink? Latrice: A full set of eyelash extensions start at $97, and it goes up from there based on the fullness you would like to achieve. Nicole: Do you consider false lashes or extensions to be a look reserved for celebrities - or does it work for everyday women as well? Latrice: Eyelash extensions are for anyone that wants to have the look of longer lashes. We have options that can fit any budget, and they start at only $10. Nicole: What do lush lashes, via extensions, do for a woman? Latrice: Eyelash extensions give an automatic face lift at a fraction of the cost. They open your eyes and rejuvenate overlooked facial features. U-Wink Eyelash Extensions is located in the Mall of Louisiana. You can visit their website at www.winkyoureyes.com

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Elevate

Linda Taylor A Woman of Many Hats

A Nicole Jocleen interview

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inda Taylor not only lives purpose, but she also speaks purpose. Find out how she turned motivation and encouragement into an evergrowing business.

Nicole: Tell me about your company. Linda: Koach Konsulting LLC is a premier consulting and training organization dedicated to the development of people and the transformation of organizations. We believe that whether our client is an individual, a small business, or a large organization, our mission is always to ensure that they are operating with passion and purpose. We partner with individuals providing personal and professional coaching. We also work with organizations of all sizes, supporting them in the areas of leadership development and training, professional coaching, organizational change consulting, and new business start up. Our consultants are always available and eager to provide keynote presentations to inspire and motivate teams to action.

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Nicole: You have a master’s degree in organizational psychology. How does that help in your business? Linda: My background in Organizational Psychology allows me to tap into my knowledge of psychological principles and theory. Research combines that with real world experience to support the needs of my clients. There are many factors that influence individual and workplace behavior, and this degree has allowed me to provide a unique perspective when it comes to increasing workplace motivation and employee effectiveness, designing training programs, facilitating organizational change, and career planning. Nicole: You are also a motivational speaker. What types of topics do you discuss? Linda: My keynotes are created for a custom fit for each client and are dependent upon the needs within that organization. Some of the topics I cover include powerful leadership, motivating teams, sales, youth leadership, and educational excellence. Nicole: I personally know you as an author. TheTruth in Your Heart was released earlier this year. How would you describe the book? Linda: The Truth in Your Heart is a call to action for individuals to search their hearts and awaken to the pull of passion that exists in their lives. There are many people who are in a career, in a relationship, living a life that they know they were not purposed for. The Truth In Your Heart is the voice of so many people who are not truly living their truth. This book allows me to encourage the reader to believe in God’s promise for their life and to confidently make a bold move in faith toward their dreams, then receive the blessings He has in store for them. Nicole: You wear many hats. How do you stay focused on each individual aspect of your career? Linda: It is hard, and it takes a lot of focus and commitment to purpose! When I left my corporate career, I knew that building a multifaceted business would require a significant commitment and great sacrifice. I

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remind myself everyday why I am doing what I do. I am working to serve and to be a blessing to others. I am working to fulfill the purpose and the vision for my life. I am working to leave a legacy for my children. I understand that with each day comes a limited number of hours; so I map out my days, my weeks, my months to ensure I stay on task. I.prioritize, and I work closely with an accountability partner who reminds me to stay focused and keep it moving.

“My biggest lesson has been that regardless of how “in control” I would like to be, ultimately God is directing this ship.” Nicole: If you could only wear one hat. Which would it be? Linda: That a tough question! But my heart tells me that I was destined to be the voice of inspiration for the thousands of people who are stuck just short of their purpose - just like I was years ago. If I could only wear one hat, I would choose to continue to speak words of motivation to inspire people to dream big and make bold moves. Nicole: Are you sticking to the thee hats, or do you have any other business endeavors up your sleeve? Linda: There is one more hat I just started wearing, Right now I am focusing more on executive and leadership coaching. This allows me time in my office to produce my radio show, work on my next two books and begin writing for my newly-

formed Koach’s Corner University, which is online on my Youtube channel under koachscorner. I am thrilled about this latest endeavor, because it will allow my audience to see the passion I have for what I do and see that I truly want them to live their best life. This is a great opportunity for a deeper connection with my audience so that I can make an even greater impact. Nicole: What has been your biggest lesson thus far? Linda: My biggest lesson has been that regardless of how “in control” I would like to be, ultimately God is directing this ship. I never imagined I would have a radio show or would have written a book so soon. Where I thought I would be pales in comparison to the doors He has opened and the opportunity that awaits me. So my lesson is simple: Regardless of how much I plan, He is ordering my steps. He is opening and closing doors, and He holds my future - a future that not even I had imagined! Nicole: What do you find is the number one thing people seem to not know or understand about running a business? Linda: When you work for yourself, your success rises and falls with you. Your results are always in direct correlation to the amount of focused effort that you put forth. If there is no purposeful action, there will not be any results. Nicole: Thank you for taking time to share with EXPRESS readers. How can we contact you for for info on your products and services? Linda: I am honored to be able to share with you. For more information on Koach Konsulting, email me at info@koachkonsulting. com. The Truth in Your Heart is available at www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com; or visit koachkonsulting.com for a signed copy. You can also find me on facebook.com/truthinyourheart and twitter, and I would love to connect with you: @koachkonsulting

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2012 ESSENCE MUSIC FESTIVAL 1. MARY J. BLIGE 2. ERIC BENET 3. TANK

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Live

Sevetri Wilson Inside:

Bring on the night Revel in History It’s a celebration

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“I created a company that would encompass all of the

areas of services that I felt charitable organizations and individuals seeking to do incredible deeds of kindness would need. Our Mission is to ensure organizational growth and development in order to impact and positively make changes that better communities, the country, and the world.”

QUALITY SUPPLYMeets COMMUNITY DEMANDS -Sevetri Wilson

Interview by Evan Taylor Company: Solid Ground Innovations, LLC Age: 26 years old Educational Background: Louisiana State University, B.A. in Mass Communications-Journalism, B.A. in History and M.A. in History Hometown: Hammond, La. Evan: How would you describe your personality? Sevetri: I am self-motivated, ambitious and driven. I think I am an up-and-coming change agent. Evan: What are you most passionate about? Sevetri: Community - technology access, African American communities and social disparities. Music and the arts, Save the Music Foundation and Wordplay. Youth education and educational disparities. I have a passion to see black males succeed. SM Pinky Promises Foundation, which launches in the fall 2012 and is dedicated to my mother, will focus on overall health awareness and offer free services to children and women to learn and engage in health activities. Evan: How did you transition an idea into a business, company or program?

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Sevetri: I have always had the motivation to be a business owner. Most people have a fear of failure, fear of flight and instability. I have to dedicate 100 percent of my time in order to turn my idea and vision into a career, a business, and create opportunities for other people. You will go through instability and a stage of doubt. You are responsible for your team as well. That’s the responsibility of a true business owner that many can’t see through, because they haven’t resourced enough. They haven’t created a network, so they don’t see their idea turned into something concrete. Evan: Can you describe where you were in life when you started SGI Cares? Sevetri: I was director of Tyrus Thomas, Inc., doing community work and working with Louisiana CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates). I was working to build a partnership and build a program for him from the ground up. The majority of the kids we served at CASA were African American males. SGI Cares was created to offer basic non-profit services. It trickled down from the need I saw in the community - a need I saw in high profile people who wanted to give back, but had no way to do so.

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Evan: What was your mindset during the time you created SGI? Sevetri: Initially I wanted to become a criminal psychologist. I always wanted to give back. If you can join the people who have resources with those who don’t have the resources and make it work, then you have not only players that individuals can be proud of, but outreach that can help society. Evan: How long was the development process? Sevetri: SGI is still developing, trying to expand, looking for new office space. We are always in a stage of development, adding new clients and expanding. I don’t think the development stage ever stops. Evan: Did you have motivators along the journey? Sevetri: I came to LSU-Baton Rouge with literally no resources, first generation college student. Because of my mentors and network, I realized people can and will help you. Alfred Edmond from Black Enterprise said that people will invest in you, but they eventually want a return on their investment. Leonard Moore, Ph.D. was very much a part of my life and development. Senator Sharon


Live Weston Broome is an individual that I look up to. People want to help and give more opportunities along the way. Evan: What obstacles have you encountered in starting your business? Sevetri: I think the most common obstacle when starting their business is defining your marketing strategy, how you will seek clients, and what will make a client choose you. You have to define and craft, so that you can guarantee successful outcomes for your clients. Evan: What lessons have you learned along the way? Sevetri: How to manage clients’ expectations. You want to make sure your clients have realistic expectations and that your company can provide real outcomes. Evan: What milestones have you reached that made you realize you were making an impact and progressing?

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Sevetri: When we started bringing in new clients that were not referred by current clients, I knew my marketing materials worked. People like what they are seeing. I kept and retained all my clients and contacts. If anyone is unhappy with my services they can discontinue their working relationship with me. I hired an office manager. I was able to have a team under SGI and pay my first person, and I knew that all my administrative would be handled. Employing people to do things that they love or have a passion for, creating a team like a family to go home and realize the impact - changed families and changed lives.

Evan: Are there any milestones you are looking to achieve? Sevetri: More open collaborative efforts between staff and clients and continuing to build my team. Evan: What advice can you offer someone striving to make a change in their community? Sevetri: Never give up, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t reach what you are going after. People are going to doubt your success, because it is not normal to them.

Evan: If you could go back and change one thing, what would it be? Sevetri: I don’t think I would change anything. I have had overwhelming success. To change your path is to rewrite your future.

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Achieve

Keith Tillage Learn From The Best

A Nicole Jocleen Interview

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fter Keith Tillage made the decision to leave corporate America and join forces with his father in the construction business, Tillage Construction has become one of Southern Louisiana’s fastest-growing, 100 percent minority-owned construction companies. Find out how a chance meeting on a plane changed his life forever. Nicole: Tillage Construction was started in 1991 by your father, Ken. How and why did you get involved? Keith: My father retired in 91, and when I graduated from Southern University and went to Dallas he started building cabinets full time. It evolved into residential contracting around 1998. He actually had a money dispute with clients that didn’t pay him after he completed building their house. He finally let me get involved in the dispute, and I brought in attorneys and got it settled. That was my first taste of the construction business - and I still came back! The construction idea came about from a magazine article I read on a plane. I was consulting at the time and flying weekly. On a flight to Seattle, I read an article on a woman-owned construction firm in Nashville and how she lost and rebuilt her business. I was intrigued by the SBA

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(Small Business Administration) programs she mentioned specifically for minorities. That day, I got off the plane in Seattle and told my dad, “If you go commercial, I’ll come home.” He said, “If you come home, I’ll go commercial!” Nicole: How did you get the courage to leave corporate America and join forces with your father? Keith: I think it was a combination of things. Ignorance was a major part of my courage. Seriously, I had no idea how hard it would be and that it was a possibility I could fail. My father is really responsible for that, he has always made me feel I could do anything! Also, I had a mentor who put everything he had into his work just to make partner. I saw for myself that it was true that, as a black man, he had to be two times better. He was. When he finally made partner, within a year he died from cancer. It made me realize how short life can really be and that you have to do it now, or there is a chance it may not happen. Again on a plane, I met a man who honestly made me see working for someone in a totally different light. He had me afraid to have my fate in someone else’s hands. He gave me a book The Richest Man in Babylon, and I was forever changed!

Nicole: You have been involved with Tillage for around 12 years. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned? Keith: Wow, there are so many. But if I had to choose one, it would be to never except ‘no’ from someone who doesn’t have the ability to tell you yes. Nicole: What do you feel is the biggest misconception people have about business owners? Keith: The biggest misconception I had was that all successful people in business were the smartest and most talented, but what I’ve discovered is that it’s the ones who work the hardest. The ones that work without a net, the ones that their family’s livelihood depends on the product or service they provide.

“I think it was a combination of things. Ignorance was a major part of my courage. Seriously, I had no idea how hard it

Nicole: Was construction something that you had always been interested in? Keith: I’ve always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wasn’t exactly sure what the business would be, but I just felt if I found a good product I could apply my business experience and make it successful. It [construction] was something that I honestly never considered. I saw construction, like most other minorities, from the labor side. I thought it was hot, long hours and hard work. We never were exposed to the business side of it not just from an ownership side, but the management side. People with construction management degrees start out at 50k and can easy be at six figures in four years. I’m working now to give kids, especially minorities, another outlook.

would be and that it was a possibility I

Nicole: What is the one thing that you wish you had known when you first got involved in the business? Keith: Nothing! If I had how hard it was going to be, I wouldn’t have dived in the way I did. If we hadn’t experienced the failures, we would have never grown from our mistakes - and we couldn’t appreciate how far we have come. Nicole: What is your ultimate goal for Tillage Construction? Keith: Wow, good question; but for me it’s a working document. It’s like riding a train; each stop is the stop until you get there.

Nicole: Tillage is 100 percent minority owned. Do you feel pressure from the community to continue your success? Keith: No not really from the community, but from ourselves. We have heard the horror stories and just don’t plan on making the same mistakes Nicole: There are other business owners that have not experienced the same level of success that you and your father have received. What makes you different? Why are you successful? Keith: Honestly, I think many business owners don’t really understand the business part of their own business. An example will be the person we all know that cooks the best food, but can they really own a restaurant just because they can cook? I see that a lot, especially in construction. The guy that was the best concrete finisher starts a business but has no idea about overhead cost, margin, controlling labor and cash flow. So we were different. My dad understood construction, whereas I knew nothing about it. But I understood business. So it was that, along with determination. And of course luck is a friend of hard work!

could fail. My father

is really responsible

for that, he has always made me feel I could do anything!”

Nicole: Your company has expanded its market to Mississippi and Texas. What was the biggest challenge that you faced throughout that process? Keith: Well, that was the easy part for me. Working big six (top accounting firms) I got the concept that whatever expertise was needed, just bring it in. Once you can cook a dozen cookies in your kitchen, you can cook it anywhere; you know what ingredients to get and equipment you need, so you don’t have to buy the same brand or from the same store.

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2012 ESSENCE MUSIC FESTIVAL 1. MELANIE FIONA 2. ARETHA FRANKLIN 3. ANTHONY HAMILTON

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S

o you want to be a judge Ten things to consider

To be eligible to run for judge in Louisiana, a candidate must have been admitted to the practice of law in that state for at least eight years prior to election and shall have been domiciled in the respective district for the two years preceding the ele ction. To become a lawyer, one must be a graduate of an accredited law school and pass the bar exam. These credentials, however, do not automatically entitle one to become a lawyer in the State of Louisiana - or any other state. There is a vigorous character and fitness screening process that goes on before one is accepted into the profession of law. And the skills and experience obtained through the practice of law are vital preparation to become a judge. Here, in no particular order, are the top ten character traits and qualities that I feel should a judge should embrace.

Legal Ability A judge should be able to listen to the evidence and apply the law to the facts of the case. It is important to be skilled in critical analysis and problem solving.

A Record And Reputation For Excellent Character And Integrity The best predictor of future behavior is recent past behavior. A criminal record, bad credit or poor work history are things that can diminish or sabotage a reputation. A judge should possess good morals.

Knowledge Of The Law And Courtroom Procedures Trial experience, negotiation and mediation skills are important tools in a successful judge’s arsenal.

Financial Responsibility A judge should exercise self-discipline in the management of personal finances. Financial issues could indicate the potential to compromise ethics; stable finances and a record of filing taxes on a timely basis reflect security and the ability to withstand pressures and temptations which could influence decisions.

Good Communication Skills The ability to communicate with all parties to the litigation, along with witnesses, court staff and even

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observers in the courtroom, is imperative. Judicial canons prohibit judges from giving legal advice or opinions, and they cannot discuss pending cases with the media.

Record Of Community Involvement Judges are public servants and should, therefore, have a history of active participation within the community. Our children should look up to judges, teachers and other professionals as role models; the function of role model depends upon visibility.

Judicial Temperament A judge should be patient, understanding and openminded. They should be firm, but refrain from combative behavior. Loud, argumentative reality-show judges are not representative of the demeanor of a good judge in action.

Sound Judgment In Professional And Social Life Those in the public eye are always representing their position; therefore, judges should exhibit control and dignity in all their affairs.

Mental And Physical Abilities To Fulfill The Duties Of The Office A judge should be in good mental and physical health. While a judge is required to retire at age 70; but if they reach retirement mid-term, they may finish the term for which they were elected.

Administrative Ability The judges in the 19th Judicial District Court in Baton Rouge have a tremendous volume of cases to adjudicate. A judge with strong administrative skills will be prepared to manage lengthy dockets and complex litigation, as well as manage personnel issues and anticipate any security concerns that might arise. Socrates summed it up in this famous quote about the qualities of a good judge: “Four things belong to a judge: To hear courteously; to answer wisely; to consider soberly; and to decide impartially.” Editor’s Note: Judge Trudy M. White’s primary assignment at the 19th Judicial District Court is criminal. She does have a small civil docket; however, Judge Trudy will be a candidate for the First Circuit Court of Appeal for East Baton Rouge Parish on November 6, 2012.

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“The best predictor of future behavior is recent past behavior.”

Achieve

Judge Trudy M. White 19th Judicial District Court Judge

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Connect

Terry Bams The Mind of a Womanizer

A Nicole Jocleen interview

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erry Bams was once a very promiscuous man. That promiscuity turned into an autobiography and turned him into a relationship coach. Find out why this St. Louis native is a changed man. Nicole: You recently debuted your autobiography entitled The Mind of a Womanizer, where you openly discuss how many women you’ve been intimate with, as well as the unfortunate situations these encounters have created for you. Was being this open difficult? Terry: I’m a very open person at times, so no it wasn’t. God pushed me to finish the book so my mess could be a message to millions. Nicole: You were 7 years old, when you began to have a sincere appreciation for the opposite sex. What brought on that transition in your life? Terry: Just being a little boy and finally noticing I liked girls. At a young age, most boys and girls think it’s gross to like the opposite sex; but my mind and body thought differently. Nicole: What fueled the desire to continue to pursue nonmeaningful relationships with women? Terry: To fill voids. As people read the book, they will see I tried settling down several times. But when it didn’t work out, I took it out on the next 5-12 women.

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Nicole: What made you change? Terry: God, time, and having my daughter. Nicole: Now that you have changed, does your past ever come back to haunt you? Terry: My past was a gift and with God, he made it a part of my purpose in life. The best teacher is real-life experiences. Now as a relationship coach, I help many people with relationships, dating and finding love. Nicole: What advice would you give a woman who is dating a guy who resembles the way you used to be? Terry: Pray. Only God can change man. The key attitude of womanizers is not committing. They know how not to commit, what to say, when to say it and how to say it at the right time. Nicole: Where can we purchase your book? Terry: Kindle and Nook, www.TheMindOfaWomanizer. Also, follow me on twitter @MrBams; add me on Facebook, www.AuthorTerryBams. If you need some relationship advice, help moving forward, you’re tired of being unhappy, hurt, and bitter or just don’t know what to do anymore in your relationship, email me: MrBams@TheMindOfaWomanizer.com


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W

EEKENDER

2012 ESSENCE MUSIC FESTIVAL 1. FANTASIA 2. KIRK FRANKLIN 3. KEYSHIA COLE

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4. TEEDRA 5. CHARLIE WILSON

PHOTOS BY: PETER FOREST

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believe,trust,know by Kirsten Lee

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osing a spouse or significant other is one of the darkest and most difficult periods one can ever experience. When I was thrust into widowhood at the age of 35, I felt completely unprepared, unequipped and deficient. I had only been married seven years, and my youngest child was two. I was still trying to get the hang of handling three kids when I had a head-on collision with tragedy. I looked at my children, how young they were and how far they still had to go. I looked at the harsh reality of single parenthood and the difficulties associated with it. I looked at myself and my limited abilities, and resources and I asked God the question, “You want me to do what?!?” When you lose a loved one, feelings of fear, anger, depression, anxiety and inability to cope may all surface. But we have a God who knows and understands everything about us. He cares for us and loves us through the darkest valleys of our lives. God promised that He would never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and that He would be with us always, even unto the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). We must trust God even when we do not understand or like what He is doing in our lives. We

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have to stand on His word and know that He has a good plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11). When tragedies occur, we have a tendency to ask why. We want to know why God would allow such a thing to happen to us. One of the most difficult aspects of trusting God is not knowing why. Not knowing, but still trusting. Not knowing but still believing that all things work together for good. (Romans 8:28) The “things” may not be good, but they are all working together for our good. We may not ever understand God’s hand and what He is doing in our lives, but we do know His heart. We know that He loves and cares for us, because He sent His son to die for us (John 3:16) No matter what sharp turns or deep valleys you may have to face, know that God is with you and that you can make it because your trust is in Him. Stand on His word, and believe that you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you. (Philippians 4:13). Kirsten is the author of The Widow’s Guide But Not For Widows Only. www.thewidowsguide.com

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ARRESTING THE TIME BANDITS PATTI LIGHT’S INNERVIEW

A leaky faucet or a running toilet can cost you hundreds of dollars over a year’s time. It’s amazing, but if you were to collect those few drops of water every hour, day after day, the annual accumulation would be vast. So it is with time. Here’s something to think about: Twelve five-minute phone calls amount to a total hour of your time. If you take a dozen little unimportant calls per day, you lose five hours of potentially productive work time from a 40-hour week. Over a year, that’s 260 hours - 6.5 work days - a significant amount of time which could produce impressive advances in your business. It’s pretty easy to identify where your time goes, at least the bigger chunks of it - an hour at the gym, the 20-minute commute, that half-hour meeting . . . But that’s not what sinks your time ship. It’s the time bandits, those little interruptions and tasks than chip away five minutes here, ten minutes there. Before you can catch and expel the bandits, you have to find them. Start by keeping track of how your time is spent. Just observe your normal patterns for a week. How many times do you automatically take a call, read a forwarded e-mail (OMG, you don’t forward it to 12 of your friends, do you?), or stop to listen to a coworker complain?

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Identify your bandits, and determine where they’re breaking into your schedule. Then you can become adept at recognizing (and blocking) them when they knock at your door - or ring your phone. You don’t have to answer every call, you don’t have to accept every invitation, and you don’t have to give pieces of your life away just because someone asks you to. Define specific times to meet with people and to accept and return calls, and block out segments where you aren’t available. Then stick to your plan. Others may or may not respect this (i.e.: they’ll call you anyway), but you have the power to enforce the rule. Time is a valuable and finite commodity, so choose carefully where and how you spend it.. You don’t have to explain why you can’t bake cookies, serve on a committee, or even go to lunch if you don’t really want to. A simple, “No, I won’t be available,” is sufficient. Then hang up, walk away, change the subject. Explaining takes up more time (another bandit) and increases the likelihood you’ll get talked into doing something. Just say no. Time is life - it’s fleeting and precious. Guard it carefully, and choose where you spend it. Arrest the bandits, and free yourself.


Giving Kids In Our Community A Safe Place To Heal

The power of young people exploring and understanding their story in the face of loss, is the central focus of our mission. This exploration creates a meaningful canvas for kids, and the adults who care about them, to find the tools and resources to realize that their loss is not their whole story, but a key piece to what and who they will become. Betty’s Hope is a mobile children’s bereavement program in Baton Rouge that provides a safe, healing environment for children and teens, aged 5-18, to manage their grief and loss. Through outreach, resources, and support programming for youth and their families, our goal is to help communities heal. For more information, contact us at BettysHope@wdc.org

Grief and loss are major youth development issues that have yet to get the attention of the larger community. • Currently in the U.S., there are approximately 4.8 million young people under the age of 18 that are grieving the loss of a parent. • 75% of all AfricanAmerican children are growing up in a singleparent household. • 1.5 million children are grieving the loss of a parent due to incarceration or abandonment.

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Football professional, businessman, and philanthropist, Warrick Dunn was 18 years old when his life changed in an instant. His single mother, a Baton Rouge police officer, was ambushed and killed in an off-duty assignment. As the oldest of six, Dunn was left with the enormous challenge of keeping his family together while pursuing a college education and football career. Betty’s Hope was born out of his desire to make sure that other young people living with loss get the support that they need, when they need it.

A program of Warrick Dunn Charities

3223 Howell Mill Road NW Atlanta, Georgia 30327 www.wdc.org/BettysHope THEEXPRESSMAG.COM

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