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THE DIAMONDBACK | THURSDAY, JULY 1, 2010

Opinion

THE DIAMONDBACK

ALLISON STICE EDITOR IN CHIEF

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MIKE WARLEY

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MANAGING EDITOR

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BETHANY WYNN

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OPINION EDITOR

Staff editorial

Guest column

Running scared

Not worth the interview

In a state like ours, where registered Democrats outnumber Republicans 2- conversation he had with a caller who questioned the validity of Obama’s to-1, one wouldn’t expect an incumbent Democratic governor to instigate the birth certificate. For months into the campaign season, O’Malley was running virtually unmudslinging in an election year. But Gov. Martin O’Malley, who is facing the same challenger he defeated for the governor’s seat in 2006, former Republi- opposed, as viable Republican candidates and Democratic challengers alike failed to emerge. Ehrlich, who filed his papers for candidacy just last week, has can Gov. Robert Ehrlich, has come out swinging this campaign season. A series of attack ads endorsed by the O’Malley camp have recently hit the always been the only real contender, especially as recent gubernatorial elecairwaves. One of them portrays Ehrlich as a lobbyist in the tank with big oil. tions in neighboring states such as New Jersey show that voters won’t hesitate The ad attempts to skew Ehrlich’s work as a lawyer within a firm that also lob- to toss out Democratic incumbents in favor of Republican challengers as a bies for various clients into a guilt-by-association scenario, even though way to rebuke new federal health care and economic policies. Even though Ehrlich, as a former governor, boasts name recognition comEhrlich has never registered as a lobbyist. parable to O’Malley’s, he may not be able to overcome the But that isn’t even close to the most outlandish accusadisparity between his campaign funds and O’Malley’s. O’tion hurled Ehrlich’s way, a dubious award that goes to a Malley has almost $6 million in his war chest, while commercial known as the “Drill, baby, drill” ad. The comO’Malley should stop Ehrlich has managed to raise slightly more than $150,000. mercial, in which a dramatic narrator goes so far as to sugIn addition, state voters largely approve of Obama’s health gest Ehrlich played a part in BP oil disaster, gets its name conducting a smear care and bailout plans, making them less likely to vote out for replaying a snippet of Ehrlich saying “Drill, baby, drill,” campaign and focus on O’Malley. As proof, a recent Washington Post poll puts O’even though he made the remarks on his WBAL radio Malley at 8 points ahead of Ehrlich, with 49 percent of votshow in reference to his former lieutenant governor his own strengths ers to Ehrlich’s 41 percent. Michael Steele’s position on offshore drilling. The ad In light of the reality of the gubernatorial race, O’Malley could have kicked claims Ehrlich supports continued offshore drilling in new areas of the gulf. In reality, the attack refers to a 2001 congressional measure Ehrlich supported off his campaign in a much more sophisticated and truthful fashion. He could that passed almost unanimously — and with the support of every House De- have bragged about the No. 1 national ranking of state public schools. He mocrat from this state — to ultimately approve only a small part of the off- could have highlighted the lowest crime rate in the state in years. shore exploration originally proposed by former President George W. Bush. But instead, O’Malley has demeaned the intelligence of state voters with a seSeveral YouTube videos and press releases from the state Democratic ries of misleading ads that fail to pinpoint Ehrlich’s real shortcomings as a conparty add fuel to the fire by suggesting Ehrlich espouses the ‘birther’ theory, tender, such as the fact he raised state university tuition by 40 percent during which says President Barack Obama is not a citizen of the United States. his first term while O’Malley has kept it frozen for the past four years. If O’Malley wants to rally state citizens to his side, he should stop the attacks Once again, the only Ehrlich positions the ads use as evidence for their claims are out-of-context quotes from his radio show, this time drawn from a and stick with the facts.

Our View

Editorial cartoon: Jacob Buchanan

College Park: The weirdest place on earth

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nough is enough. I’m mad as hell, guys. And don’t act like you don’t know why. Some pretty screwed up things have been happening lately, and I can’t keep quiet about it anymore. I guess I’ll be blunt: Can someone please explain to me why this whole campus has gone loopy? Seriously, we’ve gone insane. I mean, think about all that’s happened these past few weeks. First, the university decides to close Campus Drive for no good reason. Then, some dude gets caught pooping all over the floor in McKeldin Library. And finally, just to top it all off, an alumnus stabs his coworker to death with a samurai sword and then jumps off a cliff to evade the police. And when I say “coworker,” I mean “fellow porn star,” because this dude was a porno actor. Are you kidding me? No wonder university President

MIKE

SANDERS Dan Mote and Athletic Director Debbie Yow are jumping ship — this place has officially gone bonkers. Now look, it’s not like the city of College Park was ever normal. I sincerely doubt there’s any other place on earth that houses a serial rapist named “The Cuddler.” I think we’ve cornered the market on that one. This place has always been Weird Town, USA, and that’s fine. Weird is good. Weird gets me through my boring, mundane life. But now, we’ve gone a bit too far. We’re going somewhere I can’t follow. Right off a cliff, in fact. Can you believe it? The weirdest

place on earth just got a whole lot weirder. We’re screwed. Do you know how hard it must be to advertise this place nowadays? The rest of the country probably thinks we’re a bunch of raving, homicidal maniacs who spend our days watching porn at the Hoff Theater and our nights crapping wildly in public like a bunch of silverback gorillas. And hey, when we get really excited, we set the city on fire and riot like the French. Our favorite leisure activities include slicing people open with swords and freestyle cliff-diving. And guess what? The people who think we’re crazy are right. They’re right, people! We’ve officially checked out. The verdict is in, and it turns out we’re bananas. We’ve just bought the farm, and we’re probably going to have sex with all the animals. I’m sorry, but I’m about to have a

nervous breakdown because of all this. Some random freakin’ yahoo pooped in our library, I can’t enter the university because its main road has been shut down, and a former student committed murder and then went “waheee!” off a cliff. Sorry if I can’t compose myself right now. It’s just that great authors can’t even make this stuff up. I thought The Shawshank Redemption had a pretty good story, but we may have just topped it. And golly gee willikers, what perfect timing, too! I mean, with orientation happening right now and the search for a new president continuing daily, there hasn’t been a better time for us to completely snap. I may as well join the club. Who’s got a sword? Mike Sanders is a senior history major. He can be reached at sanders@umdbk.com.

Underclassmen: High fives must be earned

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tudent orientation reminds me of early childhood when I wanted to look cooler than everyone at the local rollerskating rink. I had the slickest skates, the best hair and some money to throw towards nachos when I needed a break from holding my date’s sweaty hand. I was cool in my own right, but my top-ofthe-line roller blades never opened any doors for me. That is one thought I’ve kept with me for years: Trying to be too cool results in your life becoming a trend — you might have had fun while it lasted, but no one cares anymore. Preventing this from happening is what separates the young from the old here in College Park. While freshman ignorance is riddled with stupid attempts at being cool, upperclassmen always have the clear advantage of knowing

what is actually cool. It’s not hard to spot a freshman pulling some stupid stunt or acting cocky, but it’s even more obvious during orientation. One of these lesser-breeds did just that after soliciting a high five from me on my walk to work. Knowing their strength lies in numbers, I moved slightly off the path to let the orientation crew pass by. Nearing the end of the herd, some Jersey Shore fan boy vocally announced, “Epic handshake, dude!” as he got closer. Immediately, I noticed he was trying to impress the girl next to him and made sure not to let our palms touch. I was more concerned with contracting a disease than anything else. Deep down, I really wanted to give the kid a high five. He was just a fellow student looking for support, and

JASON

KRAMER I was arrogant enough to deny him school pride. However, my actions were justified. Earning respect at this school requires a little more effort than showing off during orientation. Especially if all you do is nag an upperclassman for a bro-five. The real proving ground is freshman year, not some overnight camp. Walking past the herds of orientation students made me wonder — either something is in their juice boxes causing them to think they’ve somehow conquered the game of college, or most of them really are just high-minded

teenagers with little to no life skills. Whatever the case may be, once school begins, this campus will be flooded with upperclassmen who consistently don’t give a shit about the freshman class. It’s not that we hate our new students, but if they disrespect us they’ll end up with a broken nose. I understand, orientation is an exciting time to meet and impress the people you’ll be spending the next four years with. On top of this, you are becoming more familiar with the campus and its resources. This should be the primary thought of every orientation student, not marking social territory. I’m not worried, though. Two months from now, no one will be so chipper.

JOEL COHEN

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he other day, I got a call from a company I had never heard of for a job I didn’t actually apply for. I took the call anyway, just to see what would happen. The interview seemed to be going well, until I got the stumper. No, not the, “What’s your biggest weakness?” question (that’s easy: answering cliché interview questions intelligently). The woman on the other side of the phone asked, “So why do you want to move to California?” Now if you know me at all, you know I don’t really want to leave the East Coast. Especially not to California or Arizona. Ever. “Ummm … I’ve always been excited for new opportunities, and California is …” I began but then trailed off, thinking, “... absolutely not going to happen.” After a few more minutes of trying to create the illusion that I knew what I was talking about, the interview ended. I didn’t fool anyone, and I never did find out the job description. That’s why you never go into an interview unprepared. Lesson learned. Interviewing is kind of like the process of picking parts for the high school play. But instead of being picked last, you may not be picked at all. Not only that, but they may not tell you that you weren’t picked, leaving you stranded on the stage. Even worse, you probably won’t even find out who was picked for the parts, what they were looking for or even who you were up against. Sometimes you think you’re a lock for the position. Nothing can get between you and that part. And then you lose out. Kinda of like Michael Bluth in the pilot episode of Arrested Development. Welcome to the world of interviewing — where you have to be prepared for anything and everything, even if you don’t know what you’re talking about. Gone are the days of the high school Target interview where they asked you: 1) if you were over the age of 16, and 2) if you could speak English. Let’s all be honest with ourselves for a second here — No. 2 probably isn’t a requirement anymore. Gone are the days when you could sit on the couch and wait for a job to come to you. In the world of interviewing, Carl Weathers isn’t here to save anyone. He can’t tell you how to answer the all-too-common “Why do you want to work for our company?” The right answer, obviously, is “Because you gave me an interview!” He can’t coach you how to emphasize the sale more than the fire if you happen to interview for a commercial voice-over. Maybe this whole interviewing and getting a job thing just isn’t for me. After all, who needs the money when there’s always money in the banana stand? Joel Cohen graduated in May with a degree in government and politics. He can be reached at JoelDCohen@gmail.com.

AIR YOUR VIEWS Address your letters or guest columns to the Opinion Desk at opinion@umdbk.com. All letters and guest columns must be signed. Include your full name, year, major and dayand night-time phone numbers. Please limit letters to 300 words. Please limit guest columns to 600 words. Submission of a letter or guest column constitutes an exclusive, worldwide, transferable license to The Diamondback of the copyright in the material in any media. The Diamondback retains the right to edit submissions for content and length.

Jason Kramer is a senior American studies major. He can be reached at kramer@umdbk.com.

POLICY: Signed letters, columns and cartoons represent the opinions of the authors. The staff editorial represents the opinion of The Diamondback’s editorial board and is the responsibility of the editor in chief.


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