mid morning matters There’s always a worry when the brilliant return to their past successes. A hint of desperation maybe, out of ideas, moving backwards. Yet it’s also what many of us cry out for, lapping it up as our heroes reform to regurgetate old triumphs, crying foul if they dare to try something a little bit different. Whether viewed as an admission of failure or a celebration of success, it seems there is no end to our desire to throw money at nostalgia and no lack of willing recipients of our cheers and cheques to indulge our safest fantasies. So, it should come as no surprise that a man who created a piece of work lauded by press and public should return to said work after a decade of not being lauded by press or public. That man is Steve Coogan and only by his standards would Hollywood film roles and various sitcom series’ be deemed failure, but his standards were set when he introduced Alan Partridge to the world. In truth, the past decade has seen Coogan balance his urge for fame, with roles in the likes of Tropic Thunder and Night At The Museum, with his quest for originality, for example taking on A Cock And Bull Story, whilst keeping himself in with the brilliant and the cool, having varying degrees of involvement in 24 Hour Party People, In The Loop, Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Mighty Boosh. Yet, knowing the talents of Coogan, it is the limp The Parole Officer, the mediocre Saxondale and the insipid Sunshine that we find hard to forgive. In other words, we remember Coogan’s last decade for work we forget. Which is why news of his return to Partridge was mostly received with optimism. Not that Alan had ever retired but, after a near-perfect run of On The Hour, The Day Today, Knowing Me Knowing You and I’m Alan Partridge, he had been limited to the diminishing returns of Anglican Lives, Comic Relief and 2008’s live return. Though still funny, the Alanisms were becoming a little forced. In losing his verve to continue Partridge, Coogan appeared to be losing his ability to do Partridge. Until now, as Mid Morning Matters, a relatively low-key comeback courtesy of revolting lager giants Fosters, arrives on our computer screens in twelve short clips. Alan is presenting on North Norfolk Digital, the belittling “North”
classic Partridge in itself. Episode one is immediately a return to his insensitive, ignorant, misguided, magnificent best. Alan’s relationship with Sidekick Simon, played immaculately by Tim Key, brings out all of Partridge’s ace cards. With the two “riffing”, Alan, trying too hard, announces “this is great banter, it really is”. Of course, it’s awkward, humourless and absolutely bloody hilarious. After several quoteable moments, and a typically rude interview with Jim Jones (“not the evil one”) in which Alan talks more about massacre and paedophilia than the subject cycling, the episode culminates in Alan trying to cycle 10 miles in 30 minutes (“I could cycle 30 miles in 10 minutes”), ending in disaster just as Anthea “the body” Turner walks in.
“a very unpleasant individual, a bit like Jamiroquai” The brilliant song introductions are back in episode two with “Simon Le Bon, actually French for Simon The Good” and “Keep your clubs away from his young, it’s Seal”. Alan has a mini Who Do You Think You Are?, or, in KMKYWAP fashion, WDYTYAHQ. Finding out depressingly little, Alan tries desperately to make the non-stories interesting (“it sends a shiver down your spine”) but finally produces one of his infamous on-air attacks after being told a family member died of syphilis, asking how his guest would like to be told his “great grandmother soiled herself at George Formby’s house... and had a hump”. There is no Sidekick Simon in episode three and it still produces. The main theme on today’s show is Simply The Best of Norfolk, prime Partridge territory. Of course, Alan throws his own hat into the ring, suggests Bernard Matthews (“the greatest farmyard to table strategist”) and gets annoyed at people suggesting Delia Smith, asking “why do I bother?” when the results are exactly as he predicted.
After reading some ludicrous texts (“cats, hammers”) and admitting he used to have a “robust dislike for the gay community before meeting Dale Winton”, episode four is a wine-tasting class, a chance for literal Alan to venture where he’ll never understand. It delights as we watch Partridge panic-attack, gloat at correctly guessing one wine tastes like pepper, describe another as chewits, and ultimately become pissed-up Partridge. Episode five is pure Partridge, just him and a microphone until he is punkd by Orbital Digital, a trick that he takes as badly as expected, announcing “at least my brother’s not in prison”. A clip of him trying to book a cinema ticket uses the old “Dan” like repetition to great effect. His radio show includes an incomprensible Irish Shepherd, a nearly racist ramble, an insensitively read sad story and today’s question “how often should you wash your towels” which ends with the words “testes and bum”. Alan begins episode six with a failed attempt to hoot like a partridge then tells us “I try to maintain a healthy anus”. We revisit his desperatation to gain friends when taking to a caller who he asks for a drink, which ends up in a touching fall-out with Simon. The wonderfully broad topic “what is the best thing?” causes a brilliant idiom/idiot mix up where he calls a calller who suggests sliced bread a “smupid gim” in a fabuous trade of insults, a la I’m Alan Partridge’s scene with Dave Clifton. Alan finally suggests the caller throw himself off clifton suspension bridge; “a very unpleasant individual, a bit like Jamiroquai”. Halfway through and the BBC appear to have let another obvious opportunity slip. I guess they must be happy with Dad’s Army repeats, Gavin & Stacey outtakes, the omnipresent Graham Norton, Miranda falling over, John Culshaw’s smug impressions, the inept Armstrong & Miller, the inoffensive Dara O’Briain and the bewilderingly successful Russell Howard. Oh, and The Trip. Some qdos for being brave enough to show Coogan’s baffling Michael Caine impersonation competition, which either bored and irritated or warmed, tickled and moved, but it was hardly the past successes we were crying out for. Go on, give him another series you swines!