DECEMBER EVENTS

The poignant holiday revenue featuring the area’s best performers saluting the season through dance, music, & comedy performances.

DEC 1-2 at 7:00pm

Ukulele master and jolly ambassador of aloha, Jake Shimabukuro, is back for his third concert at the Numerica PAC. This time he is bringing joy to the world with the debut of his highly anticipated holiday show, Christmas in Hawaii.

PRESENTED BY:

DEC 13 at 7:30pm

A LIVE RADIO PLAY BY PAT KRUIS TELLINGHUSEN

H o l i d a y M o v i e s ON THE BIG SCREEN

- PRESENTED BY -

Local performers bring a classic Christmas tale to the stage in 1940s-style radio hour in this live musical radio play. From the live sponsor spots, to the period microphones, to the Foley artists right there with the actors – the result is a nostalgic evening of entertainment, directed by Dani Schafer-Cloke. Must be 5 years of age or older to attend.

PRESENTED BY:

DEC 20 at 7:30pm

Sweet nothings. Carolina blues. Rolling thunder like a fucking clap back smack attack. Abstract expressionist automatic bullshit. What a world to live in, what a time to be alive, what a cliché click to clack the fuck back. Shit. He said the word. The only word that you’re not allowed to say. And they’re gonna kill him for it.

Year: 3057. Time: who gives a fuck. Political system: freedom, bitch. Location: America, motherfucker.

We’re allowed to say what we want, do what we want, sleep with whoever we want, and dance to anybody’s tune for anything. Fuck on the subway? No problem. Shit on the sofa? No problem. Cash money and all that – doesn’t exist anymore. We don’t trade anything for anything. We just live, we do what we want, and we love and hate and feel. We feel whatever we want, and we throw away everything else.

The robots clean it all up.

“Lick my boots you slutty binary fuck machine,” I tell her.

“What face would you like me to wear today?”

I say the name of the first woman that I’d ever masturbated to. Her face assumes the shape, and her mouth speaks with that sweet smoky voice.

And afterwards, it’s another robot to clean up the jizz. We have no slaves anymore. Only ambition. We can do anything. We can say anything. Everything…

Except that. That one word. The only word we can’t say.

And this stupid motherfucker just said it. Worst part about it is - he’s standing next to me, wearing the most defiant face I’ve ever seen.

“Yeah, I don’t know this guy,” I say.

The Macy’s Day parade float is at my back, and there’s nowhere for me to run. Looking around me, all I see is the Hunters: hooded figures, faceless faces always veiled in shadow, with their nightsticks drawn and their Glocks at the ready. Nobody dies – unless they say that word.

I slowly sidestep away from the Deviant. That’s what he is now. They always say that, whenever anyone says the word. Deviant, like we’re some sort of amoeba in a clown’s jellyfish cage.

I keep stepping away one inch at a time, nerves frayed like a fucking car horn train track. Fuck, now my automatism’s back. Gefiltefish. Derail. Stalagmites. Fuck my brains out.

“Citizen 597, you have been classified Deviant by the Regulatory Authority,” the Hunter says.

“You hypocritical fucking pieces of shit! It’s just a word! Why should I die in the place of a fucking word!?” the Deviant says.

“Because we live in a society.”

“Fuck you. Watch me say it again!”

“YOU WILL COMPLY!” the Hunter says.

“You really don’t like this word, do you? Why does it bother everyone so much?!” the Deviant shouts. He throws up his hands and does a semi-circle, as if to ask the world. The world doesn’t answer. His faces turns to sorrow. And then to anger.

“The Deviant will be reprimanded into custody.”

“The Citizen will not! The Citizen will never comply! And if you don’t like me saying the word whom, then you’re just going to have to fucking kill me.”

The Hunter shoots him in the head. And then the Hunters fade away, into the nothingness of the shadows of wherever they popped out.

“Miss, do you want me to lick your boots again?” the robot asks. She’s still wearing the same face.

“Not now, sweet cheeks. Not now. Why don’t you stick it in my ass?”

Dear Moxie Rose,

Is Vaseline an okay lubricant? My boyfriend uses it for…himself. But I want to know if it’s okay as a regular lubricant for me to use as well (I have a vagina). I can’t really get a clear answer H.L.

Hi H.L.,

Don’t worry! It’s hard to get a straight answer because there really isn’t one. As far as basic body safeness goes, Vaseline won’t hurt you. But it is petroleum, which means it is essentially an oil based lubricant. So while it’s not toxic to the body, there are definitely reasons people try to avoid it, as well as reasons I usually recommend staying away from it. One of the biggest reasons I usually steer people away from oils is because oil is much harder to wash away from the body. Usually if you have it on something like your hands, the job of washing it away and breaking down the oil is made easier by things like soap. But you absolutely, 100%, do not want to get soap involved when it comes to cleaning the vagina (it is a self cleaning organ, thanks to being a mucous membrane like the nose)using soap to clean the vagina cannot only dry out what is already very delicate tissue, it can throw off your pH balance as well as your flora (good bacteria) leaving you much more susceptible to things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. So since you can’t use soap to help wash away the Vaseline (petroleum jelly) from your body, you increase the risk of it staying behind on the body and holding on to bacteria. Which leaves that bacteria, that would have been much more easily washed away, behind in an area that is warm, dark, and moist. The perfect breeding ground for bacteria. Now if you are absolutely dedicated to making sure you spend a significant amount of time making sure it is cleaned, without soap, it’s definitely a “to each their own” route. Personally I don’t like the extra risk of throwing off my pH, or getting a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, so I tend to go other routes as far as lubricant. Now the only other major reason that many sex educators caution people about any, ANY, oil or oil based lubricant is because oil will compromise latex condoms as well as polyisoprene (polyisoprene is a non-latex alternative that is used to make condomseven though it is a latex alternative, it is still considered close enough to latex to also be compromised by oil). So the use of any oil or oil based lubricant while using a condom can contribute to the condom being compromised and becoming no longer effective at preventing pregnancy or STIs. Many condoms already come prelubricated with silicone lubricant, which has a very oily feel to it, and is therefore often confused as being an oil lubricantso people don’t really think of the risk. If you are using a pre-lubricated condom and still feel the need for extra lubricant, water-based and silicone lubricants are both absolutely safe for both latex and polyisoprene condoms.

Dear Moxie Rose, Help me explain the importance of nondemand touching to my partner. My partner’s love language is definitely more physical. And it’s not that I am a non-physical person, or that I don’t enjoy things like cuddling… but because of past traumas I tend to always feel like any physical contact is working towards intimacy and there are some times where I am just not in the mood or that headspace. But I still want to be able to cuddle and hold my partner but without them thinking that I’m giving them the “green light” for more intimate acts. They are extremely supportive and try to understand but they don’t have the experiences that I do so I struggle to find a way to explain what I need to them without getting frustrated.

B.C.

Hi B.C. Firstly, I want to tell you how sorry I am that that is the experience that you have had. I understand what it means to have trauma seep into what should otherwise be very fun and loving acts. And non-demand touching is a very important part of recovery for many people. Now I do want to be clear that I am not a medical professional, I am not a psychologist- but I have firsthand experience in working with non-demand touching, as well as helping others with it to be able to at least speak on why it can be so helpful for some people with past sexual trauma coming up with current partners. For those who do not know, nondemand touching is exactly what it sounds like: it is the act, the idea, of making physical contact with your partner – caressing, back rubs, snuggling, even things like kissing- without any expectation that it go further than that. I know that sometimes sounds like a very simple idea, that not all touching means sex is next. But for many people, that is how sex begins. By kissing. By caressing. By general physical contact that begins to escalate. For many survivors it is hard to let go of the idea that not all physical contact is going to lead to something more. Non-demand touching can play a very important role in the healing process of many assault survivors because it is helping to retrain (for lack of a better word) their brain. And the way it does that can be different for each person but as a general example to help people better understand why this can be such an important act between partners, especially when one partner is dealing with past sexual trauma and the other is not: while the survivor may know and fully understand that they are safe, that their consent is needed and will be respected in order to escalate physical touch to intimacy, that nothing is going to go further unless they say so… There is another very large portion of their brain that does not believe that. It is an instinctual, fight or flight part of the brain. The part of the brain that now works overtime to protect the survivor from ever going through a trauma again (even if they are not actually in any danger). So when a partner initiates any sort of physical contact with them, even if the contact is completely innocent and not meant to be a catalyst into more intimate activities, The person still healing from trauma may not always believe that. They will often times feel like any sort of physical touch is obviously going to lead to intimacy, and if they are not in the headspace for it or not in the mood for it… waiting for physical touch to escalate to intimacy no longer is a loving act between partners, becoming more of a looming fear over their head. That they are not in the headspace for it but this person is initiating physical contact, which means intimacy is going to be expected… Or so that is how they often see it. Sometimes partners allow themselves to agree to intimacy, where they normally would not have, for fear of disappointing or letting down their partner who they believe is fully expecting intimacy because they initiated some sort of physical contact. This is where non-demand touching is extremely important, and the extremely important part of it is that your partner understands what is happening. It is OK to talk to your partner about things like this. It is OK to tell them that you want non-demand touching so that they understand that while you may be absolutely open to loving physical contact, you are very clearly wanting for it to go no further in that moment. Allow for your partner to physically make contact with you by way of cuddling while watching a movie, caressing you, playing with your hair, the list goes on. But do so in a continuous manner while going no further. This helps your brain see that just because you have a greed to this physical contact, does not mean that you automatically agreed to intimacy, nor does it mean that intimacy is being expected just because there was physical contact. The partners who are doing the “physical contact” should understand that this is a form of intimacy for many survivors. Especially in the healing process from sexual trauma. Because while you may tell your partner over and over again that you don’t need them to be intimate, to have sex, if they do not want to in that moment – that you initiating physical contact is just about you wanting to physically connect with them because that is your love language, and not about you trying to initiate other sexual acts-and while your partner with past trauma may absolutely believe you and have the utmost faith in you… there will be that portion of them that doesn’t believe it. Non-demand touching is talking directly to that part of them. Proving to that part of them that when you say that there is no further demand to this touching, that we are just being close with each other, that that is all they can expect. Continuously showing, proving, that intimacy will only happen with 100% enthusiastic consent… And not just because their partner initiated physical contact.

Moxie Rose: (sex and kink advice/education) from For The Love Of It in Wenatchee, WA.

The information provided in this column is for educational purposes only, and does not substitute for professional medical advice. C