College Tribune - Volume 33 - Issue 9 by College Tribune

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April 1st 2020

Fake News

FREE

GRETA APPROVED STEPS TO FIX THE ENVIRONMENT Featured on Page 3

BANANA JOANNA TAKES A TUMBLE

STUDENTS

UNION PRESIDENT

STEPS STUDENTS’ UNION ACHIEVES NOTHING FOR “RECORD BREAKING” 8TH YEAR IN A ROW

Featured on Page 2

DOWN

Featured on Page 2

MAN BROWSING GO PRO MOUNTS MUST BE EXTREME SPORTS SUPERSTAR

Featured on Page 2

SWANS REPLACED BY COMMUNIST SWAN BOTS

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April 1st 2020

BREAKING UCD ARTS STUDENT

REVEALS HE “ISN’T A COMMUNIST” By Dugh Hooley During the past week rumours that an arts student might not be a communist have been spreading like the plague through the N e w m a n building. While that student’s name will not be released to protect the sanctity of the arts block, the Turbine can confirm the suspect has been banished to Quinn and it is now safe for arts students to return to lectures without fear of hearing “dissenting opinions”. Eagle eyed Newman students have come forward on Twitter via the hashtag “#finallysafe” to explain the ‘red flags’ that they missed: “Once in our ‘making-peace-with-your-future-unemployment’ tutorial he admitted that he had actually read “Das Kapital”, I should have known then. #finallysafe” admitted one Evan Stefano, a 19 year old Social Justice student. Speaking exclusively

to the Turbine, Evan admitted that he missed the signs right from the start of term. “I considered him a friend” a source close to the story disclosed, “I’m doubting everything I have ever known. He seemed so reasonable… how could I have known he would oppose an economic model which has routinely resulted in the deaths of millions of people?” Joey McCarthy, founder of UCD’s ‘Marxist Feminist Socialist Union for the People’ group, has published a guide showing arts students how they can avoid capitalists and other dangerous ideologies. These guidelines include a series of questions such as “Wait, which one is the bourgeoisie again?”. McCarthy advises concerned arts students that “if the suspect seems generally informed about the while Marx thing then keep a wide berth.” He also recommends avoiding the Engineering building.

ISSUE 09

UCD SWANS HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH

COMMUNIST SWAN BOTS By Jerry Beans

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, the Turbine was informed by an anonymous caller that the swans currently residing in the UCD lake have been entirely replaced by rob o t i c s w a n s overnight. To conf i r m these claims, the Turbine sent it’s report ers to investigate. Interviews were conducted with multiple groundskeepers on duty at the time of the reported sighting. With many claiming that they were not at liberty to speak about the swans, and others denying any knowledge of their existence. According to our investigators a groundskeeper by the name of Vladimir Benin claimed to have an intimate relationship with a swan and felt compelled to give evidence. According to Mr. Benin, the swans were made in a Chinese laboratory deep within the

Confucius building, with the purpose of infiltra-

tion, sabotage and the spreading of Communist propaganda. Soon after our interview with Mr. Benin, his body was discovered in the UCD lake during the morning rush. In a recent public statement, the Gardai have said that there was no suspicion whatsoever of foul play in Mr. Benin’s death. Yet the autopsy report can confirm noticeable bite marks in the style of a beak or bill. The SU officers have also re-

fused a formal interview, but have publicly suggested the death of Mr. Benin was orchestrated by

Trinity College Dublin, yet these claims have not b e e n c o n -

firmed. On the heels of this tip, the Tubine’s news team lay in wait outside the Confucius Institute for another potential sighting of these Communist Swan-bots. At this time our reporters can confirm that the anthem of the USSR could be heard bellowing from inside the building, alongside the sqwak of swans. The university has refused to comment on these reports.

STUDENTS’ UNION ACHIEVES MAN BROWSING GO PRO NOTHING FOR “RECORD BREAKING” MOUNTS MUST BE EXTREME 8TH YEAR IN A ROW SPORTS SUPERSTAR By El Presidente UCD Students’ Union has surpassed all expectations and has achieved absolutely nothing this year. The news comes after SU Officers announced all the many things they haven’t achieved this year during their latest meeting. Last week’s Council Meeting began with the core team listing off all the ideas and projects they’ve successfully not done. These included: no homework on Fridays, free tickets into DTWO every day, and increasing student engagement. UCD Students’ Union has surpassed its former record and has now gone

eight full years since last actually doing something. Some members called upon the Union Officers to “get up off their asses and do something,” with one enthusiastic first year suggesting they protested at every possible opportunity. But this idea was ruled out in favour of “just doing nothing instead.” A proposition has been put forward for next week’s meeting by some really smart first years. The initiative proposed is called the “Protest Everything Movement” and is expected to pass unanimously, but with no actual subsequent action from the Union. The Tribune asked the Union about their plans

for the forthcoming year, in which they stated: “We have decided to be against everything. We might protest a little bit. But we’re probably gonna do nothing again.” It has emerged that over 95% of the SU budget has been spent on Pizza, while the remaining 5% has gone towards the purchase of Keep Cups for trendy Arts students. Fortunately, the University Observer has seen none of this year’s budget. We asked UCD students what they thought of this remarkable achievement by the Union. One student responded by asking: “What do they do again?”

By Shane Clune Customers in the Naas Harvey Norman store this morning were treated to the rare sight of a man browsing the GoPro accessories in the store, leading to speculation that he must have been an Extreme Sports Superstar. One witness was the mother-of-five, Shirley; “I knew from the moment he started looking in the GoPro section, you don’t just browse there if you’re not crazy good at Extreme Sports do you? Now I’ve been speculating about what sport he must have been involved in, and I’d say he’s a bit too heavy for anything that involves him

pedalling or paddling, so it must be something like motorbike riding?” Mícheal had just nipped out to the shops to pick up a travel adaptor for his upcoming holiday when he was lucky enough to encounter the anonymous dare devil. “It’s not every day you see someone looking at GoPros, so it was certainly the highlight of my day. I follow Red Bull Extreme Sports pretty closely, yet I must confess I wasn’t able to place him. Still got the autograph though! He seemed rather surprised when I approached and asked, but he’s proba-

bly just being bashful. As regards sport, he’s too much of a unit for most; perhaps rally driving?” Whoever he was, the mysterious Extreme Sports Star picked up a Handle Mount, and disappeared into the afternoon sunshine. Only he truly knows what epic daring deeds await.

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ISSUE 09

April 1st 2020

NEW RESEARCH SHOWS SOMETHING OR OTHER BUT NO ONE HAS BEEN BOTHERED READING IT YET By Dugh Hooley A new report from UCD’s psychology department has examined a very pertinent trend whose relevance to modern life cannot be understated. This new piece of research seems to be of top importance, however no one at the Turbine has been bothered to read it yet so we reached out to some of the leading researchers in the field of psychology for comment on the new research. Speaking exclusively to the Turbine, clinical psychologist and UCD researcher, Adam Gerryson

detailed the importance of the revelations brought forward by the study. “Yeah so, this research is ground-breaking, the material evidence for this very relevant piece of research are frankly… look man I haven’t read it”. The Turbine reached out to the report’s author Oran Doran for comment on why so many people haven’t got around to reading his research just yet. Mr. Doran is denying having any knowledge of the report, “I’m sorry lads but I just don’t think I wrote that paper dude.”

FACEBOOK LAUNCHES NEW

FOLLOW FRIEND SERVICE TO COMBAT

FOMO

GOOGLE REFUSES TO EXPLAIN WHY ADS ALWAYS FOR PORN SITES By Shane Clune In a recent survey by Red D polling, 85% of internet users recalled regularly seeing ads for Porn websites when browsing the internet using the Google search engine. This is despite the fact that none of these users admitted to browsing porn at any stage, and a majority (82%) didn’t even know what it was. Is Google secretly promoting porn

to users? When approached for comment, Google flatly denied that the company was a front for what would be the biggest porn operation in recent history. They insisted that the only ads served to users of their search service were inspired by their demographic and searching trends. As an example, someone who regularly searches for hiking trails may receive ads for hiking boots, or an individual who looks up flights

to Turkey may subsequently receive ads for Turkish Airlines. However, this is clearly not the case here, as nobody who was surveyed reported searching for porn. This of course raises important questions about the agendas of private companies who effectively act as gatekeepers to information. If they can push porn sites on us, despite there clearly being no interest among the general public, what else could they

nefariously promote? Perhaps flights to expensive destinations, water bottles that keep their liquids cool, or workout pants that users love? Over the next five weeks the Tribune will mount an extensive exposé into Google’s advertising practices, focusing on the company’s promotion of porn. Stay tuned for more ground-breaking reporting.

GRETA-APPROVED STEPS TO FIX THE ENVIRONMENT By Andrew Beaks

As we migrate into 2020, most of you are probably thinking of how you can play a part resolving the biggest crisis the world has seen since The Black Death epidemic. No, I’m not alluding to modern day slave labour, the rise of autocracy or the price hike of Freddo bars. I’m talking about climate change. This topic far outweighs other crises which the world is currently experiencing. Why bother fixing gender equality in the workplace if our planet is going to explode into a ball of flames by the end of the century? In this article, I’ll lay out three concrete, Greta Thunberg-approved steps you can take to play your role in

tackling this issue. Firstly, why not walk to work? Carbon emissions are a major contributing factor to pollution levels. Excuses such as ‘’I can’t walk 40 kilometres to work every day’’ are just excuses. House pricing and conditions in Ireland (especially in Dublin) allow for everyone to live as close to their place of work as they desire. Get the Huaraches out and off you go. Secondly, stop reading all forms of newspapers. It’s 2020 folks, is there really a need to pick up a physical copy of your favourite publication? Stop justifying it by saying that you prefer to read physical copies, or that it’s easier on your eyes than

a phone screen; if you want to curb the rise in global temperatures, ditch the papers. Exceptions can be made for publications who print on vegan, gluten-free, fossil fuel-free paper, such as the College Tribune. Lastly, eat more beef. In doing so, you will diminish the cattle population, whose gas-emitting flatulence is detrimental to the ozone layer. Keep this guide handy and don’t be shy to share it with sceptics; Great Thunberg herself has approved it, so you know it’s legitimate.

By Shane Clune Facebook this week announced a new service that it intends will be used to combat incidences of FOMO in users. Called Follow Friend, it is hoped that this service will help to combat some of the negative effects of social media, and also help the firm avoid the negative publicity that it has received in recent months. Follow Friend would be a free service that anyone with a Facebook account would be able to access. Users would nominate the friends that give them the most FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out); essentially those friends that make you feel bad because they posted pictures of the gang on a night out that you weren’t invited to, or because their holidays look awesome and you’re here stuck in work etc. These friends would then be followed by a member of the Follow Friend team, who would follow them around, and intervene whenever they started doing something fun. For example, they could push your friend off the swing at Sophie’s, or throw rocks at them whilst they’re trying to pose on a hike. There is also a paid premium version, where Facebook will install a virus on their phone the moment they try to make a status update rendering their phone an obsolete piece of plastic, and ensuring that your night in remains FOMO free. Initial trials of this service have resulted in a 47% decrease in depression amongst teenage users, and an 87% reduction in feelings of FOMO. It is expected that this service will be rolled out in Ireland in May 2020.

Editorial

.es, that’s right. We’re back and it’s April Fools Day. If you haven’t guessed already, we spent far too much time on ‘The Trib’ gag. It may come as a surprise, but this newspaper used to be quite a bit more tabloidy than it is now! Paying homage to our roots, our team put some stuff together for some satirical April 1st content. Enjoy the nonsensical stories on the front and back of the Tribune. Gags aside, quite a bit has happened since our last issue. Let’s dive in! Irish universities have shut nationwide, and Leo Varadkar has spearheaded the response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Since the Taoiseach’s announcement on March 12th instructing universities, schools and crèches to close, everyday life for UCD students has been turned quite vigorously on its head. Belfield is shut down, everything is online, all traditional exams are cancelled, medical students are now being paid for their efforts on the front lines, J1s are cancelled, USIT’s gone bust; the list goes on and on… There’s been a hell of a lot of news in the space of a short few weeks, and one story is particularly concerning for UCD students. In his recent President’s Bulletin, UCD President Andrew Deeks said that the potential long term affects of the health crisis could be “very serious” for staff and students. The most worrying statements centred around the

Contact Us Editor@collegetribune.ie +353 1 716 8501 PO Box 74, Student Centre, UCD, Belfield Dublin 4 Letters to the Editor should be sent via email and no longer than 300 words.

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

The Team College Tribune 09.33

financial security of the university following the pandemic. In recent years, Deeks’ administration has shifted its financial dependency away from the Irish government and towards corporate interests and international students. He stressed that less than 35% of UCD’s funding comes from the government, and that “any fall off in our income from international students will have farreaching consequences.” To translate that: UCD has put a lot of its eggs in one basket, and if the COVID-19 pandemic results in a reduction of international students coming to UCD, we’re going to be in trouble – BIG trouble. In 2009, UCD received €120m in state grants. In 2017 this was down by over 55% to just €67m. To make up for lost income, the university made strong financial gains in other areas. There has been a 250% increase in NonEU fee income between 2009 and 2017, growing from €32m to €83m respectively. In 2017, over 20% of UCD’s income came from non-EU students’ fees. If this pandemic doesn’t let up by September, the university could see itself scrambling to make up for lost income. It remains unclear whether students will bare the brunt of that impact. Enjoy the Read

EDITOR’S PICKS News

Alex Lohier. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Deputy Editor

Rent Increases take “Secondary Priority”

By Mahnoor Choudhry

UCD School of Law Leads the Way in Jury Research

Adam Boland . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Science Cecily Nic Cionnaith . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gaeilge

Brigid Molloy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Film & TV

Original Design By Samuel Mc Sherry @sms.studio

Culture

Art in our Back Garden 35 UCD’s Sculpture Trail

By Mallika Venkatramani Sport

News Tips Sometimes the best news story is right under your nose. For any news tips, on and off campus, please contact the editor via social media, telephone, email, or traditional mail.

@collegetribune www.collegetribune.ie

Mallika Venkatramani. . . . . . Arts & Lifestyle

By Rachel Thornburgh

By Adam Goodwin

Connect With Us

Aaron Collier. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Philosophy Matthew Derwin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Music

By Conor Capplis

Mature Student Diaries

Dugh Hooley . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Turbine Conor Paterson. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Politics

Big Reads

A Day in the Life of UCD President Andrew Deeks

Patrick Doherty . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Business Rob Ó Beacháin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Law

By Blathnaid Corless & Amy Doolan

Shooting Club Rises from Dormancy

Conor

Conor Capplis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Editor

Alternatively, you’re welcome to stop by our Newman Building Office.

Newspaper Produced By Conor Capplis

April Fools gag “The Trib” was Co-Designed by Samuel McSherry and Conor Capplis

Contributors Adam O’Sullivan Reporter Luke Murphy Reporter Alessia Mennitto Reporter Hugh Dooley Reporter Mahnoor Choudhry Reporter Blathnaid Corless Law Amy Doolan Law Scott Evans Opinion Nicholas Lane Features, Music Rachel Thornburgh Opinion Shane Grogan Turbine Ben Duggan Politics Jade Norton Science Savannah Murray Music, Arts & Lifestyle Danielle DerGarabedian Film & TV Jack O’Grady Film & TV Gemma Farrell Film & TV Paurush Kumar Arts & Lifestyle Adam Goodwin Sport Jerry Beans The Trib El Presidente The Trib Shane Clune The Trib Andrew Beaks The Trib Adam Goodwin Sport

Rent Increases take “Secondary Priority” due to “COVID-19 Concerns,” says Students’ Union President.

UCD Moves Online For Remainder of year

LOCKDOWN: Campus Completely Shuts Alex Lohier - Deputy Editor Conor Capplis - Editor

ast Sunday, students and staff were given a “grace period” until 18:00 on Monday night to retrieve their belongings from lockers and offices. In light of new government restrictions, the campus is due to completely shut, save for non-essential activities. The Residences will remain open for tenants only. The campus lockdown comes after the Taoiseach

Leo Varadkar announced that further measures would be placed upon the country to further restrict social gatherings and interaction, in light of the developing COVID-19 pandemic. Education is not on the list of exemptions to the new government restrictions and, as such, travelling for or attending education is not permitted. This comes to a blow to some students, particularly those who have limited internet access and amenities in their homes. Up until the Taoiseach’s

Students’ Union Elections: So Who’s Running This Year? announcement, provisions had been made for UCD students who fell into these categories to help facilitate their learning and studies on campus. However, this will now be revised. In a statement made by UCD’s Registrar and Deputy President Mark Rogers, all UCD students have been asked to remain at home so as to comply with the government’s latest restrictions. With regards to students living on campus, Professor Mark Rogers’ statement reiterated that external visitors were forbidden and that students must follow social distancing protocols. The statement made a specific mention to medical students, who have exams this coming Monday (March 30th), for which a special arrangement will be made by their faculty.

UCD President Warns of “Very Severe” Financial Impact for University Over COVID-19 Pandemic Conor Capplis - Editor

CD President Andrew Deeks has said that the potential long-term impacts of COVID-19 for UCD could be “very serious” and have a severe impact on the university’s commercial activities. The President has appealed to recruitment staff to ensure international students, who make up over 20% of UCD’s annual income, attend the university next year. Deeks has also postponed the appointment of new academic staff under the Ad Astra Fellow scheme. In his recent bulletin to UCD staff, President Deeks warned of the potential economic fallout for the university due to COVID-19. The President stressed how dependent the university is on non-exchequer funding: “Less than 35% of our income currently comes from direct operational grants from the Gov-

ernment, and any fall off in our income from international students will have far-reaching consequences.” Deeks also warned of the potential long-term impacts of this crisis on UCD, saying the consequences could be “very serious” for staff and students. President Deeks said the COVID-19 pandemic, social distancing measures and travel restrictions have had “very severe implications for our commercial activities planned for summer and more generally.” The UCD President also appealed to recruitment staff to “continue their efforts” in attracting international students, as well as asking “colleges and schools to do whatever they can to ensure that students who have applied to attend UCD next academic year actually do come.” Since the government reduced higher education funding following the last

financial recession, UCD has turned to alternative sources for income. In 2009, UCD received €120m in state grants. In 2017 this was down by over 55% to just €67m. To make up for lost income, the university made strong financial gains in other areas. There has been a 250% increase in Non-EU fee income between 2009 and 2017, growing from €32m to €83m respectively. In 2017, over 20% of UCD’s income came from non-EU students’ fees. The President also announced he was pausing the Ad Astra Fellow appointment process for three months “to allow us to obtain more clarity on the state of our finances going forward.” The scheme hires early career academics from around the world to UCD. Last year over 70 academics were hired, with 40 expected to be hired this year. According to President Deeks, “the Ad Astra Fellowship scheme is part of an ambitious plan

+20%

Over 20% of UCD’s income came from non-EU students fees in 2017.

-35%

“Less than 35% of our income currently comes from direct operational grants from the Government,” - President Deeks

to increase our faculty numbers by 500 over five years, which is one of the key enablers of [UCD’s 2020-2024] strategy.” Deeks also thanked UCD staff and students, particularly those involved in efforts to combat the spread of COVID-19 for “working unselfishly to support our students and the wider community over this extraordinary time.” He also made a detailed statement on the dangers of the new virus, explaining that although “the great majority of our employees and students, and for healthy people of working age [COVID-19] is unlikely to be more severe than a winter cold or flu,” the virus has a “disproportionate impact on the elderly and those with certain underlying medical conditions.”

University Cancels All Traditional Exams Hugh Dooley - Reporter In an email sent out to all current students, UCD Deputy President and Registrar, Professor Mark Rogers announced that the university “will not be running our traditional examinations in the RDS, Blackrock or the Newman Building this trimester”. The university will attempt to replicate all scheduled lectures, assessment and grading as best it can, in a time which Rogers described as “very difficult, challenging and unsettling”. The Deputy President said that he understands that students may be worried about the impact of the outbreak on assessment and grading. However, sending a message to students, Rogers wants to “reassure you that your lecturers’ approach to assessment and grading will be of the highest standard and will reflect your academic achievements.” This comes after University President, Andrew Deeks announced that

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Professor Mark Rogers announced that the university “will not be running our traditional examinations in the RDS, Blackrock or the Newman Building this trimester”.

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News

from “23rd March, through to the end of the academic year, we will be adopting an at-distance teaching and learning model for all undergraduate and taught masters students.” UCD are not alone in committing to an online education model, Trinity College Dublin announced that all lectures would be delivered online. The Scottish Education Minister, John Swinney also announced that all exams would be cancelled for the first time in Scottish history. “In the midst of two world wars the exams went ahead.” commented the Minister.

News

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

Rent Increases take “Secondary Priority” due to “COVID-19 Concerns,” says Students’ Union President. so many student actors, musicians, comedians who can be putting on gigs virtually.” In terms of the Union’s current campaign in protest of the 12% Rent Increase, Siewierska commented that, “everything has taken a secondary priority because of the COVID-19 concerns.” However, this is not to say that the campaign has been forgotten about. “Even if this situation wasn’t happening, we would have had to diversify our tactics anyway. So the fact that people will be more focused on online things that are happening and the fact that we

Mahnoor Choudhry Reporter

n light of recent events surrounding COVID-19, we interviewed Joanna Siewierska, UCD Students’ Union’s President, on the current plans from the Union and what they are doing to help students. “The work of the Entertainments Officer is about to get very busy,” says Siewierska, “people are sitting around and there isn’t an awful lot to do so there’s a massive gap in opportunity to hold virtual pubs, webinars where we tap into creative talents. We’ve

will be tapping into students through social media even more now, I think it works in our favour because we would have had to move a lot of our protests online anyway because the physical protest, was achieving something, but to achieve real change we need to use other areas to apply pressure and that’s what we are going to do.” Joanna emphasised that the Union’s goal is still to “stop the 12% increase and that has not changed.” Some of the issues identified by the Union facing students were isolation, lack of support systems and fi-

UNIVERSITY INVITES DISPLACED STUDENTS

TO APPLY FOR ACCOMMODATION

CD will honour all existing rental agreements and extend any that are necessary. Students who cancel their rental agreements will receive a rental rebate.Off-campus students may apply for on-campus accommodation if displaced by COVID-19. In an email sent to all

UCD students, Deputy President and Registrar, Professor Mark Rogers, laid out an eight-point policy regarding on-campus student accommodation during the Covid-19 outbreak. UCD announced that they will honour the existing rental agreements for all students who would like to remain in their on-campus accommodation. The university will continue to support these students.

Additionally, the university announced that rental agreements will be extended should travel restrictions be put into place which would stop students from returning to their homes at the end of the rental period. Should current renters wish to give up their existing rental agreements they will be able to do so. Any student who does not avail of the full length of their rental term shall receive a “pro-rata” re-

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UCD Residences will be made available for students who may be displaced as a result of COVID-19

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Hugh Dooley Reporter

bate starting one week after their departure from residences. Residents, however, may be asked to move into different rooms on campus “to facilitate the best management of the residences”. UCD Residences will also be made available for students who may be displaced as a result of COVID-19: “Students who are well and living in rented accommodation off campus who face housing problems because

nancial distress and it was reassured that “while we don’t know the full extent of the nature of issues which will turn up, I think we are ready to support students no matter what.” The elections have been postponed until further notice while Siewierska waits for UCD to “give us a few green lights before we can put things into stone.” As well as this, the Union has played a role in the university’s planning, sitting on the monitoring group and representing student issues in the contingency plan being drawn up by management.

of COVID-19 eg if a landlord requires the property, may now apply for on-campus accommodation.” Current residents who have been advised to self-isolate will be moved into “specific housing” on-campus which will allow for them to receive additional support from the university. Finally, any residents of UCD who become unwell with symptoms in line with those of COVID-19 are being advised to contact UCD Student Health Service who will refer students to the HSE’s outbreak testing service “if necessary”.

Applications for Editorial Team 2020/21 Now Open! Job Description The work of the Editor-in-Chief or two Co-Editors is a demanding and full-time role. It involves producing 10 print issues fortnightly over the college year, as well as managing and updating the Tribune’s website and social media platforms. This can include intensive work in the week preceding a newspaper printing deadline. The Editor(s) is responsible for recruiting a team of Section Editors during the summer, sourcing a Designer for the paper, as well as Contributors throughout the year. The College Tribune is entirely self-funded. It is the only independent student newspaper in the country. The responsibilities of the Editor can also include sourcing advertising for the paper in order to cover the print costs of each issue. As head of the paper, the Editor(s) is also tasked with continuing the Tribune’s tradition of

How to Apply investigative journalism in UCD. This newspaper was established in 1989 to hold the institutions within UCD to account, it is expected the editorial team will uphold this mission. Candidates should ideally have experience in journalism. The position(s) are open to external applicants as well as current Tribune Section Editors and Contributors. As the Tribune is independent, the position is unwaged. However, the Editor(s) may take home any surplus revenue after the print costs and other expenditures have been covered at the end of the year. Successful candidate(s) will gain invaluable experience in journalism, media and communications. Many Former Editors have successfully gone on to work in the national media, politics and public relations.

Interested Candidates should email their application to the current Editor-in-Chief Conor Capplis at editor@collegetribune.ie Within the application, candidates should attach a copy of their CV, and a minimum 2,000 word document including the following information: 1. An outline of their experience and suita bility of the role. 2. Five areas or issues in UCD they would investigate as Editor. 3. Proposed changes or ideas to improve the newspaper. 4. A detailed plan on how to grow the Trib une’s audience on social media. 5. Proposed shortlist of companies to seek advertising from. Email subject lines should be titled as follows: “Name_EditorApplication”. The deadline to apply is Friday April 24th.

Volume 33 - Issue 09

01.04.2020

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

News

UCD MOVES ONLINE FOR REMAINDER OF YEAR

CD President Andrew Deeks emailed students and staff detailing changes in response to the governments decision today to shut “schools, colleges and childcare facilities” until the 29th of March (now until April 19th). UCD will move to “at-distance teaching and learning model”, all exams will take place “at a distance”, the library and student centre have closed, UCD Residences will also remain open, UCD oversees travel is suspended and the Students’ Union and the Students’ Union Shops have also closed. The President an-

nounced that from “23rd March, (end of fieldwork/ study period) through to the end of the academic year, we will be adopting an at-distance teaching and learning

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UCD will move to “at-distance teaching and learning model”, all exams will take place “at a distance”

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Conor Capplis - Editor

model for all undergraduate and taught masters students.” The University

has been preparing extensively over the past number of weeks in anticipation of heightened government restrictions to combat the spread of COVID-19. Deeks went on to say: “We will continue to schedule teaching activities for each module in the existing semester timetable and academics and tutors will continue to interact with you in line with this timetable, but through electronic means. “Some lectures will be podcasted, but you will be given opportunities to interact with each other and with your lecturers remotely. Tutorials and group work will be mediated through on-line video services.”

Alessia Mennitto – Reporter

fter a two weeks break, on March 23rd classes have restarted for all UCD students through the online learning platform made available by the university. This is as a result of the nationwide university shutdown aimed at slowing the spread of COVID-19. The system employed is Virtual Classroom (VC), facilitated by Collaborate Ultra, which is a live conference tool that can be accessed via Brightspace, UCD’s Virtual Learning Environment (VLE). In order to simplify a comprehensive understanding of the platform and how it functions,

the Tribune interviewed a spokesperson from UCD Educational Technology Services (ETS) team. All teaching material is going to be available through the system and lectures will either be livestreamed at regular lecture times or podcasted and saved on the platform. Employing VC has several advantages as it not only allows professors to teach remotely, it also allows students to interact virtually using the chat or the “raise hand” function, to simulate physical classes. In addition, virtual meetings between students and professors can be delivered via VC, as well as via other common applications such as Skype or Zoom. The UCD spokes-

Students Pen Open Letter to Governing Authority Over COVID-19 Financial Fallout Conor Capplis - Editor

he student group Fix Our Education UCD have submitted an open letter to the university governing authority, calling for a reversal of the more than 12% rent increase on campus, a protection on funding for mental health and disability services, a protection on staff pay rates and a re-evaluation of university spending protocols. The letter comes after UCD President Andrew Deeks said his recent President’s Bulletin that the potential long-term impacts

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Fears have mounted that student services may suffer as a result of financial loss caused by the COVID-19 pandemic.

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of COVID-19 for UCD could be “very serious” and have a severe impact on the university’s commercial activities. In a historic first, the 37-member UCD Governing Authority (GA) met last Thursday morning using video conferencing tool Zoom, as governors work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic. Signed by 19 UCD student societies, the letter says that “we recognise the budg-

etary constraints that will arise as a result of the shutdown of various university commercial activities.” Fears have mounted that student services may suffer as a result of financial loss caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. The letter continues by attacking budgetary cuts on student services following the 2008 financial crash: “Student Health and Counselling services and disability services for students are at a breaking point and cannot take any additional cuts.” A number of demands are outlined in the letter, presenting renewed calls for university action on a number of issues which came to the forefront at student protests earlier this year. The students are calling for: “A deferral of the proposed 12% rent hike in college accommodation until the impact of falling costs and newfound financial constraints which students have been placed under can be accurately assessed,” “Protecting the basic level of funding for mental health and disability services on campus,” “Protecting the basic pay rates of university staff, an end to zero hour contracts and casualisation of labour,” and “A re-evaluation of university spending protocol to tackle excessive spends on elitist infrastructure and wasteful luxuries.” In February, the University Management Team (UMT) made the decision to increase rent on campus by 4% year-on-year for the next three years, further increasing the cost of Ireland’s most

Pictured Above: Ruairí Power, Co-Chair of Fix Our Education UCD expensive on-campus student accommodation. This move sparked a number of protests, with students calling on an immediate reversal of the decision. Speaking to the Tribune, Ruairí Power, Co-Chair of Fix Our Education UCD spoke on how the COVID-19 pandemic has further justified their cause: “It is unlikely that the philosophy of the UMT is going to completely change, this is however an unprecedented circumstance. They have to take into account: students have lost jobs; families have lost incomes. […] There’s a major change in the situation from when the decisions were made, so they do need to re-evaluate it. We’re simply asking for a deferral of the rent increase until an accurate analysis can be done to base the justifications for it from that point onwards. The rent increases were never justified, but [the COVID-10 pandemic] provides

an even stronger justification that students will not be able to afford this.” Joanna Siewierska, President of UCD Students’ Union, has said “we were delighted to see students raise the issue of funding and rents ahead of GA. We echo the concerns of F.O.E.” In a statement to the Tribune, Siewierska continued: “We are not in a position to comment about the business of today’s Governing Authority meeting, however we were also preparing to discuss student supports at it. We hope to work further with the President and the University Management Team in the coming weeks to ensure that every step is taken to protect and further invest in student support services on campus, even in light of potential budget cuts. We are also still calling for a stop to the rent increase and will continue the protest campaign online.” The letter was submitted

to the GA secretary late on Wednesday night which was weeks after the formal deadline for submissions to the meeting on February 27th. The letter was also emailed to a number of governors, yet many members did not receive the document before the meeting. It is understood that the President and Deputy President are preparing a response to the letter and its demands. Fix Our Education UCD advocates for “safe and affordable Mental Health, Disability and Housing services in UCD” as well as criticises a number of capital funding decisions by university management. The group intends to spend time lobbying politicians for government funding of higher education and running online campaigns during the current restrictive measures in place to combat the COVID-19 pandemic.

person said, “these activities will be spread across different platforms, and we will continue to work with our suppliers to ensure the best possible experience for all under these very challenging circumstances”. ETS are continually cooperating with vendors to monitor the ongoing situation in the university’s online environment reporting all “planned changes to teaching and assessment delivery”. Since all teaching activities have now been brought online, security and technical issues may emerge. However, ETS has reassured that the breaching of sensitive data is unlikely because of “significant due diligence” that has taken place regarding cybersecurity and is always executed “prior to the implementation of any University wide system”. In addition to that, in order to avoid any sudden disruption of the platform, representatives of the team have made clear that “the uptime is monitored 24/7 by the [system] provider and reported to nominated UCD contacts if and when issues arise”. This is possible because the teaching solutions offered by the university are either “cloud based or SaaS solutions” (software as service) so that they are easily supervised. At-distance teaching may be new for most students and academic staff but UCD has published guidelines to follow with the intention of guaranteeing a good experience of internet tools. The “Teaching and Assessment FAQs for Students” and the IT Services web pages on educational technologies and virtual learning are a useful source to consult. Finally, the ETS team recommends students to actively engage with the learning materials available and to contact module coordinators should any specific learning issue arise in the process. So far, students have responded relatively positively to the platform, saying: Its functions are easy and straightforward to use, and the chat facility is much appreciated as it allows communication without interrupting the lecture. According to one student, having the lecture recorded and stored is “a great advantage for us.” However, according to some interviewees, at the moment one disturbing technical issue encountered happens when professors’ voices are disrupted for a few seconds. Nevertheless, in this instance it is possible that the problem is one of Internet connection rather than the system itself.

News

The Newsstand Alex Lohier The UK are set to impose limits on university recruits next term to avoid a free-for-all on admissions amidst the financial woes caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, striking concern that the same measures might be implemented in Ireland. UCDSU have delayed their upcoming elections by a minimum of two weeks. In a historic first, these are expected to be hosted digitally, as the SU strives to remain on schedule whilst simultaneously respecting socialdistancing measures. Universities around the world are calling on Medicine students to volunteer their support to combat COVID-19. These requests include testing potential vaccines and assisting in Intensive Care Units to help extremely sick patients. UCD graduate twins Conor and Ronan Burke have been recognised by Forbes’ ‘’30 Under 30’’ list for their entrepreneurial efforts in technology for their work with their company Inscribe, which uses APIs to detect fraudulent documents.

A recent UCD study has examined the feasibility of engaging children in the field of urban planning by using popular video-game Minecraft. Thus far, results have been inconclusive as to whether this tool would create a culture of planning among children.

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

University Presidents Ask Students To “Play Your Part” In Fight Against COVID-19 Luke Murphy Reporter

niversity Presidents from institutions across the country took the “unusual decision” to email students addressing the coronavirus pandemic that has put much of the world on lockdown. After explaining a threestep approach to stopping the spread and contraction of Covid-19, the university presidents conceded that “Scientific and public health advice tells us that it will

take some time before COVID-19 can be contained.” But the group urges students to play their part. “There are close to a quarter of a million students in Irish Higher Education and we are in a strong position to reduce the spread of the virus by acting collectively.” The email went on to say that “As a student, you are in a unique position. You are being taught online in many cases and do not have to come into work as many others have to do. All these precautions mean little if you do not stay away from

crowds.” While true with respect to education, many students still face working with the general workforce in order to pay increasing rent prices from universities across the country. This is despite all students being off campus, and those living on campus returning to their family homes. The email reiterated the advice of the HSE, asking students to use social distancing when in public and to limit social interactions with “large crowds”. While the statement focuses pri-

marily on reinforcing the message sent out by government and health officials, the university presidents did encourage “small gatherings” as long as such events follow the distancing recommendations of the health services. The email continued in its’ positive tone, asking students to contact each other over phone, making sure that no one is left feeling isolated among college communities. Furthering on their point of interaction, they have encouraged students to take action within

their communities in helping out older neighbours with shopping and outdoor chores. The University Presidents have noted that the only reputable information will come from health authority and government websites and their respective social media accounts. The closing message was one of poignancy and optimism, asking us to take care and find humanity and meaning in these challenging times.

STAFF CONTINUE TO RECEIVE PAY AS

CAMPUS SHUTS FOR BUSINESS Conor Paterson Politics Editor

usinesses on UCD campus and around Ireland have abruptly shut down due to the university shutdown, which has affected their staff. This is one of many disruptive changes on campus during the COVID-19 pandemic. The UCD Clubhouse has been forced to close its doors for an indeterminate length of time. While many students would give their right arm to be back there now, the closure means uncertainty for its staff. The bar has committed to pay all fulltime salaried staff and also part-time staff up to the end of the last published roster. Similarly, the three student union shops on campus have closed and full-time staff receive their complete salary. The student union have committed to paying part-time staff an average of their rostered hours in the proceeding thirteen weeks.

This arrangement has only been confirmed up to the 29th of March. Meanwhile, the student union’s sabbatical officers continue to work on behalf of students while their offices are closed. The impact of COVID-19 on employment has hit far beyond UCD. With many temporary closures, it is estimated that at least 140,000 people in Ireland have become unemployed as a result of the shut down so far, including 50,000 bar staff and 70,000 staff in food outlets. These numbers continue to rise every day. With hospitality and retail are among the worst-hit sectors, a large proportion of students have found themselves among this startling figure. This has heightened the worries for students regarding COVID-19, particularly those who rely on such jobs to pay college fees and the ever-increasing cost of rent in Dublin. The UCD Students’ Union has been keen to stress the supports to students who find themselves

out of work due to the virus. Students who are working part-time and are experiencing a temporary lay-off or have had their hours of work reduced due to COVID-19, are eligible for the COVID-19 pandemic unemployment payment. Students’ Union Class Representatives have also been sharing information as to how students can apply for the scheme. Any student who wishes to apply for the payment should

visit the gov.ie website and download the application form which they can freepost. The payment is only a temporary measure and the government is expected to announce more measures soon. The COVID-19 outbreak has left many worried about their health and that of their loved ones but has also caused a lot of anxiety about jobs. Academic staff have been working tirelessly from

home to ensure learning can still take place for students in an online capacity. Those who work in student supports like the student desk and the career development centre have continued to facilitate students as best they can. However, there are services around UCD, which simply cannot continue to function as normal and the staff have been impacted.

UCD Allows Overseas Students to Remain Abroad Conor Capplis - Editor

n March 12th, the Director of UCD Global, Dr. Douglas Proctor, emailed UCD students currently studying abroad, issuing a number of recommendations in response to the government’s decision to shut Irish colleges and schools to combat the

spread of COVID-19. UCD President Andrew Deeks also informed students that “all overseas travel is suspended until further notice and UCD Global will be in touch with students who are currently overseas.” Dr. Proctor issued the following advice to overseas students, allowing for students to act based on their host colleges and universities:

“If your host institution is open and classes are running, UCD recommends that you continue your studies as planned.” “If your host institution closes and offers the facility to study remotely (for example, via online learning), please continue your studies, ensuring that you are in a safe location, either in Ireland, in your host country or in a third location.”

“If your host institution closes and does not allow for remote study, please contact UCD Global or your School/ College contact for guidance on next steps.” Dr. Proctor also expressed concern for the health and academic wellbeing of overseas students: “As a UCD student currently abroad, your safety and welfare is paramount. […] Regardless of your circum-

stances, I’m keen to reassure you that we will endeavour to ensure that your academic progress will not be hindered.” It is understood that students have been allowed to remain abroad where their safety is possible and their education can continue online.

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

MEDICAL STUDENTS REMAIN ON PLACEMENT DESPITE COVID-19 THREAT Luke Murphy - Reporter

mid the COVID-19 pandemic, nursing students claim they are facing difficulties in remaining on hospital placement. UCD and the HSE are insistent they continue with their placements. Medical students must complete mandatory “placements” in Irish hospitals in order to progress through their degree, consisting of practical work in a clinical setting. In a statement from a 2nd year nursing student who wishes to not be named; the Tribune has been told

of a “miscommunication” from UCD on the decision to continue running medical placements. “I don’t feel supported at all by UCD and the dean’s decision, none of us do. There is a lot of miscommunication. UCD are telling us [that] placement is going ahead from Monday the 23rd, some of the hospitals where we carry out placement are saying not to come in, the HSE are saying that we are to come in and we will get paid care allowance – UCD have told us we won’t be paid at all.” A UCD spokesperson

spoke to the Tribune on how the college are responding to the situation: “The students are being kept on across the board at the request of the HSE, unless you fall into one of three categories; You live with someone who is high risk, you are caring for a child, or the placement hospital says no.” “We can also confirm that student nurses will not be put on wards with Covid-19 patients, they are to be kept on other healthcare wards.” The spokesperson also addressed the issue of student accommodation diffi-

J1 Visas Temporarily Suspended in Response to COVID-19 Outbreak Conor Capplis - Editor

he United States has temporarily suspended the widely popular J1 Visa programme in an added effort to tackle the spread of the COVID-19 virus. The U.S. Department of State has said: “In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, [the U.S.] will pause programs for 60 days and review this decision every 30 days thereafter.” It is not yet clear what will happen with applicants currently in the process of obtaining a J1 Visa. On March 12th, the US Department of State is-

sued a statement saying: “The Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs (ECA) will temporarily pause all ECA-funded programs that involve travel to and from countries with heightened U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)” alert levels. The J1 Visa programme is included in the list of affected programmes. The J1 visa programme allows third-level students to work in the U.S. for up to four months during the summer months. In a statement to theJournal.ie, travel agency USIT, who oversee a large amount of J1 Visa applica-

culty: “It’s appalling hearing that students are being removed from their digs, but UCD residency will supply them with a place if they are faced with such a situation.” Nursing student Shauna told the Tribune of the situation she is in as a result of the pandemic: “My digs landlord has told me to leave as the landlord doesn’t want her family exposed. I now face a four-hour return commute from Monaghan to carry out placement. I will also most likely have to leave my HCA job.” A thirdyear student Ciara who is also a health

care assistant in St Vincent’s hospital spoke to the tribune, explaining the system of medical placements: “Attendance is mandatory for placement, so if you have to make up days in third year, you do so in the first two weeks of June. Which means second year and first year students will have to make it up during mid- June, even up until early July. There is no real solution.” TD Norma Foley has called on the government to put student nurses on the payroll, in a statement in the Irish Examiner, Ms Foley recognised the “dif-

ficult situations” students find themselves in. She addressed their “concerns over how they’ll pay rents and bills” saying “these trainees deserve to be paid like all other nurses during the Covid-19 period”. Just over two weeks have passed since the government began imposing measures in order to reduce the spread of Covid-19. In the last week Leo Varadkar announced that student nurses and doctors will be paid for their services, as they are seen as ‘essential workers’.

U.S. President Donald Trump has also declared a national emergency, tapping into $50 billion in federal resources. The President has also banned travel to and from all 26 member states of the European Schengen agreement. Ireland and the UK had not been included in the initial travel ban, though on Saturday, March 14th,

Vice President Mike Pence announced that Ireland and the UK would be included in this list of restricted travel zones, effective from Monday, March 16th. The J1 Visa programme is one of many U.S visa programmes affected by the temporary suspension. The chief medical officer for England has said on March

12th that he expects the UK would reach the peak of its coronavirus outbreak in 10 to 14 weeks’ time. With projections predicting a peak in Ireland after the 60-day visa suspension period, questions arise on whether the popular student programme will be reinstated in time for summer 2020.

tions in Ireland, said that it would give guidance to applicants in due course: “We will be in a position to do this once we receive further instruction on how to progress from our US sponsors and we expect to have another update to share with you next week.” Just weeks later, USIT filed for liquidation (see article below). 3,392 students participated on the J1 summer programme in 2019, which is down by almost 60% since 2013 when over 8,000 students headed stateside. The number of students working as camp counsellors has tripled since 2011.

Popular Student Travel Agency USIT Goes Bust

inlay Group have applied for liquidation amid a stagnancy in the travel industry caused by COVID-19. USIT, a subsidiary company of Kinlay Group, is affected by this move with over 70 jobs set to be lost. In a statement online on Friday, USIT announced that “as a result of the Covid-19 situation and having explored all other possible alternatives, it has had no option but to apply to the court to have a provision-

al liquidator appointed to these businesses.” USIT is known to many university students for facilitating J1 Visas, which allows third-level students to work in the U.S. for up to four months during the summer months. 3,392 students participated on the J1 summer programme in 2019, which is down by almost 60% since 2013 when over 8,000 students headed stateside. As USIT goes bust, it leaves thousands of Irish students with little knowledge of what will become of their summer plans, and their deposits paid to

USIT. According to the Kinlay group, “the outcome for

“

As USIT goes bust, it leaves thousands of Irish students with little knowledge of what will become of their summer plans

“

Conor Capplis - Editor

customers who have booked with USIT is uncertain but

management will provide as much support as possible to help customers assess their options.” Kieran Wallace and Andrew O’Leary of KPMG have been appointed as provisional liquidators to the business. USIT’s management have said they will be supporting the joint liquidators “in order to get the best outcome for creditors in this situation.” The move also affects The English Studio, a language school operating out of Dublin and London, which employs 31 staff in Ireland.

David Andrews, Chairman of Kinlay Group, has said that “only a short few weeks ago, both USIT and the English School were trading successfully and we had exciting plans for the future, but the tsunami of effects related to the Covid-19 pandemic have left us with no business whatsoever and no possibility of overcoming these challenges.” USIT formerly had an office in UCD for more than 15 years, but left in 2005. The student travel company left after they were asked to relocate to another location on campus. Following this,

a tendering process began, which influenced USIT’s decision to leave Belfield. Amongst numerous worldwide COVID-19 travel bans, a significant decline in revenue throughout the travel industry has left companies struggling to stay afloat. Earlier this month, the U.S. temporarily suspended the widely popular J1 Visa programme in an added effort to tackle the spread of the COVID-19 virus. The U.S. Department of State said: “In light of the COVID-19 pandemic, [the U.S.] will pause programs for 60 days and review this decision

Volume 33 - Issue 09

01.04.2020

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MONTROSE STUDENTS DENIED REFUNDS AMID COVID-19 LOCKDOWN Luke Murphy - Reporter

tudents that are currently renting properties from Aparto student accommodation in Montrose have been told they are not in a position to receive a refund. Despite many students having to return to family homes both in Ireland and abroad, Aparto maintain their accommodation is “still safe.” Grace, a student tenant at Aparto Montrose spoke to the Tribune about the matter. She told us that she requested a refund as she had to move back to her home

county. Aparto responding saying the company was in no position to grant a refund on rent for the remainder of her letting. UCD has also announced that any student who does not avail of the full length of their rental term shall receive a “pro-rata” rebate starting one week after their departure from residences. Aparto told their students that “Montrose Is still a safe place to stay and we are not closing down the building.” It is due to the accommodation remaining open that Aparto have said they

are “not in a position to give refunds.” Aparto have also said that students would be “allowed sublet to a student that is approved by Aparto” for the remainder of the lease. UCD student and Aparto resident Nicolas spoke to the Tribune about the letting companies’ attitude towards refunds, describing them as “unforgiving”. “Given that students pay over 1000 euro a month for a small bedroom and a shared kitchen it’s unfortunate there’s no rent forgiveness. Montrose are quite notori-

ous for being a bit unforgiv-

“Unforgiving” ing with anything regarding That’s how one UCD student described Aparto’s attitude towards students.

payments. I guess that’s how things work, and they can get away with it” Aparto Montrose have not responded to the Tribune’s enquiry on refund policies. This information has come to light days after the Irish government issued severe restrictions on movement and only permitted interaction within one’s family unit. All non-essential workplaces have shut, leaving many without a source of income.

Bringing Colour to Belfield: UCD Holi 2020 Mallika Venkatramani Arts & Lifestyle Editor

ost society-run events have had to be cancelled in light of COVID-19, but UCD Indian Society (IndSoc) barely escaped the closure, with their vibrant event Holi that took place on March 6th. Holi is an ancient Hindu festival dating back 5000 years and originated in Barsana, India. Holi symbolises the victory of good over evil, a theme that is dominant in many other Hindu festivals like Diwali and Navratri, and is celebrated in an ultimate spirit of love and friendship. Today, the festival knows no religious or racial boundaries - it is celebrated in unison by people from all cultural backgrounds. Despite the inclement weather that delayed the event by a good 2 hours, a crowd of excited attendees comprising of both Indians and non-Indians milled about in the Brava Cafe, munching on samosa and gulab jamun (much-loved

Indian snacks). While people were waiting, I got the chance to speak with some of them. “I’m expecting… colours!” said one student named Vicky. “I’ve attended IndSoc’s Holi twice now, and it’s nice how the Indian community in UCD comes together for the festival. Also, it’s very different from how it is in India, especially since they use organic colours here!” added Dhruv Gupta, a Masters student in Electronics and Computer Engineering student. In India, water-based colours (that take wash after wash to clean off!) are generally used. As I was speaking to these folks, the sun finally came out and everyone rushed to the pitch opposite the Sports Centre. Very soon, Bollywood tunes began playing and the colourful fun began. Pity I was in my Student Ambassador uniform which I didn’t want to get any colour on, but that didn’t stop the folks from swathing colour on my face! Aishwarya Ashok, another Master’s in Electronic and Computer Engineering stu-

dent, said the event made her feel “back at home with the traditional snacks and the Indian community coming together.” It was evident that everyone was having an amazing time and that the committee had worked hard to organise such an great event. “It’s our biggest event

5000

Holi is an ancient Hindu festival dating back 5000 years and originated in Barsana, India.

for the second semester and has been running since IndSoc was founded over 5 years ago,” said Nikita Fernes, Vice Auditor of UCD IndSoc. “It’s a lot more fun this year as we got more colours. It takes a lot to put the event together as there were lots of permissions to seek from campus officials. And there was the added worry with the weather and the coronavirus situation. But we pulled it off!” It is incredible that this ancient festival is kept alive thousands of kilometres from its birthplace. Although I wish that more people knew that Holi is more than just dancing to Bollywood tunes and throwing colours, and instead learned more about its beautiful meaning. It is still heartening that it is commemorated with such joy and in togetherness, the way it has always been meant to be celebrated.

First OffSite Contact Tracing Centre Commences at UCD Adam O’Sullivan - Reporter A COVID-19 Tracing Contact Centre has recently began operating in UCD, this centre is the first of its kind outside of the HSE. The centre was set up by Prof. Mary Codd and Dr. Patrick Wall of the UCD School of Public Health and operates to provide test results, information and advice to people who have had positive COVID-19 tests. Their most important function, however, is to gather information on the close contacts of those who have tested positive for tracing purposes, which are necessary to try and contain the virus. All staff and students, no matter their discipline of study, were eligible to apply to volunteer in the centre. The HSE provided training for all volun-

teers on Friday 20th of March and the centre commenced operations the following week. During each shift 30 HSE trained volunteers man the phones, organise rosters and manage operations in the centre. The HSE equips the volunteers with relevant training materials and manuals specifically designed for this crisis. Working alongside Prof. Mary Codd and Dr. Patrick Wall are several doctors from the UCD staff. Their job is to provide clinical and public health expertise where needed. Dr. Greg Martin, public health lead at the HSE also offers back up support to the centre. The centre in UCD is the first of its kind and therefore a pilot scheme for the HSE during these challenging times. If the UCD call centre proves successful, the HSE are planning similar satellite operations elsewhere to support both the UCD call centre as well as the HSE in general.

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37-Member UCD Governing Authority Holds Virtual Meeting Conor Capplis - Editor

also held daily online meetings throughout the current university shutdown. The GA has just seven scheduled meetings throughout the academic year, with two more meetings scheduled for May and June. The UMT usually meets every two weeks, but since the government shut all Irish universities to combat the spread of COVID-19, the UMT meets daily using video conferencing software.

he UCD Governing Authority (GA) met last Thursday using video conferencing tool Zoom. In a historic first, the 37-member committee met virtually, providing video or audio access for all governors who are working from home due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The 12-member University Management Team (UMT) have

01.04.2020 UCD Bursar David Kelly, a member of the UMT, has said that the Zoom conferencing software “is working very well,” going on to say that “things are moving so rapidly, each day brings a new set of circumstances that we have either planned for or need to plan for. Decision making is made easier with regular meetings.” Kelly also added that the university is “waiting on government guidance for what is planned for next week and beyond.” Both the GA and UMT make up the lead decision-making bodies within the university. The GA is responsible for voting on university policies, strategy, financials, corporate gov-

Volume 33 - Issue 09 ernance developments and a range of significant university matters. The UMT is primarily responsible for managing the resources of the university such as financial, capital and human resources, as well as developing a university strategy, which must be approved by the GA. The UMT were responsible for the recent decision to increase on-campus rents by more than 12% over the next three years.

Students’ Union Elections: So Who’s Running This Year? Conor Capplis - Editor

he Students’ Union is seeking to hold their annual elections online for the first time in history. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused multiple delays in election voting for the Union. Should the Union receive approval from UCD to hold elections online, projections suggest voting will take place from April 21st at the earliest. Proportional Representation – Single Transferable Vote (PRSTV) will be used in the elections, as per the Union’s constitution. Although that’s a little while away, we thought it best to get to know who the candidates are! The Tribune will be publishing detailed interviews with each candidate in the run up to the election, grilling them on their manifesto plans. Campaigns & Engagement (C&E) candidate Rebecca Leeson and Education candidate Brian Treacy have already dropped out of the race. Currently, no students are running for the position of Graduate Officer. C&E candidate Rekha Vishnu Nagargoje has not responded to requests for comment or interview. Without further ado, here’s the Students’ Union Election candidates for 2020:

Conor Anderson President

Hello! My name is Conor Anderson, and I am running for President of UCDSU. I am currently the Union’s Graduate Officer, a role I think I have done some good in. I have a M.Sc. in World Heritage Management and Conservation from UCD’s School of Archaeology, and I completed my bachelor’s at Occidental College in Los

Angeles. I am a dual Irish and American citizen who has been living in Dublin since 2018. I am passionate about making UCD a better place, and in my spare time I go to the gym, ride my bike, and write.

Ruari Power Welfare

I am a 20-year-old psychology student from Co. Clare. I am a co-founder of the Fix Our Education group and have helped lead the resistance to unjustified rent increases on campus. I am running for Welfare officer because I believe that student support services on campus are at breaking point. If the University fails to provide the proper resourcing, I will lobby politicians and fight for the Higher Education Authority to ringfence funding for student supports. UCD shouldn’t be spending more on luxury flights than on student health and counselling. Functional Mental Healthcare and Disability services on campus are the bare minimum.

Rebecca O’Connor Welfare

Bex (Rebecca) O’Connor is a final year of English, Drama and Social Justice student from Derry. She has maintained a part-time job, lived in ‘digs’ and in student accommodation and, for a period of time, had to commute into college. She has seen what the Student Union can do for those who need it and how it can improve the life of the student body as a whole. Over her time at UCD she has been Class Rep, Inclusions Officer of the Musical Society and is currently Secretary of UCD Volunteers Overseas who she has volunteered the past two summers with.

Leighton Gray Campaigns & Engagement

My name is Leighton Gray and I’m running for Campaigns and Engagement. I’m 21 and doing my masters in Gender Studies. In my four years in UCD I have consistently been involved in the SU. In the year of Repeal, I was the auditor of UCD for Choice. This year, I’m the LGBTQ+ Campaign Coordinator. I’m running for C&E because I think change is needed in the SU. It is not reaching its potential in terms of activism and engagement, and this is an issue that needs to be addressed. I have been involved in activism since I was 16. In my time in UCD I have loved and hated the Union. I think I can bring the critique and experience the Union needs to bring it to the next level.

Katie O’Dea Campaigns & Engagement

Hey, my name is Katie. I’m a Gaeilgeoir and camóg from Dublin. I’m your current Campaigns & Engagement Officer and studied History & Politics before that. In final year I was SU Environmental Campaign Coordinator, coordinating UCD Green Week 2019 and starting The Great Donate. After a fantastic year as your C&E Officer, I have so much I want to continue to develop over the next year to improve student life and to fight for what’s right. I hope that you will trust me with your vote and re-elect me as your C&E Officer! My Insta handle is @ Katie4Campaigns

Sarah Michalek Entertainments

Hey I’m Sarah, I’m 21, finishing my Masters in Psy-

Pictured Above: UCD Students partake in the Climate Protests (September 2019) chological Science. I’ve been involved in UCD life since day one, joining a large number of societies in first year, becoming auditor of the Hispanic society in second year and mental health campaign coordinator for the Student’s Union this year. I’m running to be your Ents officer for 2020/21 because I’ve come to really love the creative and social aspects of putting on events throughout my various roles. I’m passionate about making other people’s student experience as fantastic as mine was and I believe I can do so through hard work and consultation with students!

Darryl Horan Education

Hi, I’m Darryl, I’m a final year student of History, and I want to be your next SU Education Officer. Originally from Laois, during my time in UCD I’ve been heavily involved in the fight for a fair and affordable UCD, whether it be in the campaign against the student center levy, fees or the high cost of housing. My main hobbies are reading history and Sci Fi, watching tv and being at the odd protest. I’m running because I believe that a union that fights for its students is a union that can overcome today’s challenges and make UCD a better University for all students.

Hannah Bryson Education

My name is Hannah, I’m 28, I’m from Belfast, and I’m currently a repeating thirdyear Computer Science student. Having multiple disabilities: autism, dyspraxia, dyslexia and ADHD, I came to UCD hoping it would provide good supports for disabled students, but this is utterly not the case. I founded the Disability, Inclusion and Awareness society last year, and this year am the UCDSU Disability Rights Officer. In these roles, I’ve seen how inadequate UCD disability and financial supports alike are. As Education Officer I want to make sure the SU does far more actual campaigning to fight for better supports and conditions.

Volume 33 - Issue 09

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COLLEGE TRIBUNE

News

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Coronavirus COVID-19

01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

Coronavirus COVID-19 Public Health Advice

If you have fever and/or cough you should stay at home regardless of your travel or contact history. All people are advised to: > Reduce social interactions > Keep a distance of 2m between you and other people > Do not shake hands or make close contact where possible If you have symptoms visit hse.ie OR phone HSE Live 1850 24 1850

How to Prevent

Symptoms > Fever (High Temperature) > A Cough > Shortness of Breath > Breathing DifďŹ culties

Stop

shaking hands or hugging when saying hello or greeting other people

Cover

your mouth and nose with a tissue or sleeve when coughing or sneezing and discard used tissue

Distance

yourself at least 2 metres (6 feet) away from other people, especially those who might be unwell

Avoid

touching eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands

Ireland is operating a delay strategy in line with WHO and ECDC advice

Wash

your hands well and often to avoid contamination

Clean

and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces

For Daily Updates Visit www.gov.ie/health-covid-19 www.hse.ie

01.04.2020

So There’s a Pandemic. How will the Economy Fare? Patrick Doherty Business Editor

he Covid-19 pandemic not only brings with it a global health crisis, but also an economic crisis, the likes of which the world has never seen. Businesses have closed down indefinitely, people have stopped spending money and central

banks across the world are printing money in the hope that the unemployed will weather this unprecedented storm. The Dow Jones has plummeted from its record heights of nearly 30,000 points in late February to below 20,000 points. This sort of crash has never been seen; not during the Great Depression of 1929 nor during the depths of the 2008

Business

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financial crisis. It has left investors and governments scrambling in order to minimise losses and wondering how low could the Dow go? The answer to this question is simple; nobody knows. Even during WW2, many businesses remained open. It remains to be seen whether central banks can continue printing money in the hope of stimulating the economy, or if this will lead

to inflation. One must beg the question, where is all this money coming from? In the words of Leo Varadkar, “the cost of this will be great.” For now, staying indoors and social distancing is the consensus and right thing to do, but there will come a time, in weeks or in months, when many will ask, is the cure worse than the disease? When the economy falls, so

do people. There are a plethora of very real consequences associated with recession; suicides surge, unemploy-

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One must beg the question, where is all this money coming from? In the words of Leo Varadkar, “the cost of this will be great.”

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

ment ravages working class communities and people’s quality of life dramatical-

15 ly falls. Many have argued that the aim shouldn’t be to suppress this virus,as that would be impossible. What we can do is increase the number of ICU beds and ventilators. Then, when an antibody test is developed, people who have had the virus can gradually go back to work. In terms of the economy, the antibody test will be almost as important as the vaccine. It will provide a level of certainty to people, which will hopefully mitigate a number of the disastrous economic effects that the Covid-19 pandemic will certainly entail.

Start-Up Spotlight:

Alex Lohier Deputy Editor

n this issue, I examine Stampify, a non-profit social enterprise offering a loyalty card with a few slight twists on the traditional loyalty cards we are accustomed to. Instead of accruing discounts, credits or a free coffee after collecting a certain amount of stamps, Stampify is a loyalty card for charity. My chat with Conor Leen, co-founder and CEO of Stampify, helped to understand the motivation behind starting the company, how they operate and their ambitions for Stampify down the line. Firstly, for those who don’t know about Stampify, it is a rewards-based loyalty programme with a focus on giving back to others. For every seven stamps collected, instead of getting a free coffee, you feed a child

in the developing world for two weeks. This is facilitated by Mary’s Meals, whom Stampify have partnered with. What’s more, using Stampify isn’t limited to one particular store; you can mix and match stamps between different businesses, which is pretty nifty if you ask me. The genesis for the idea stemmed when Conor realised he didn’t have a genuine need for Tolteca’s stamps, and would have preferred to donate them to someone who did. This is all good in theory, but what if your favourite cafe or burrito place isn’t a partner business (save yourself the effort; Tolteca are a partner!)? Well, the team have secured many great locations as partners, so this should be the least of your worries. I was intrigued at the businesses on board already, which appeared to be predominantly small local companies. I wondered

if this had been a tactical choice made by design. ‘’With larger companies, there is a lot of inertia with them… when you’re talking to smaller business owners, the decision is made there and then’’, explains Conor. There was also the added consideration of waiting for the development of their app before approaching larger clients. With the app rolled out (see paragraph below), Stampify aspires to work with larger franchises. As with everything in business, this will entail certain obstacles. Though the company has received very little resistance from companies adopting the concept once it’s explained to them, says Conor, the majority of pushback comes from ‘’businesses with their own app who are afraid of cannibalisation’’. Stampify launched their app in March 2020, allowing users to ditch the physical

cards and go digital. I asked Conor how they coped with the introduction of the app. ‘’Doing good so far’’, he replies, ‘’though we had a big enough job of transitioning all of our current partners from the paper loyalty card to the app’’. That hefty task took the team a full weekend of work, a job well worth it if Conor’s prognosis that the app will become more popular than the physical card alternative proves correct. It won’t be as straightforward as that though; ‘’our current challenge is changing our users’ behaviour from using a paper card to an app, which will take time’’. From using the app myself, its intuitive design and aesthetics should convince people to adopt it quite rapidly. The Stampify team members, who have contributed funding towards the business, work on the business voluntarily and in tandem with their “day jobs”,

in Google, Pointy, Deloitte, Aldi and ESB no less. It’s an arduous, time-consuming process for the team but, evidently, they manage it well. It currently remains a parttime effort, though this may change depending on where the venture goes. They meet on a weekly basis and allocate targets to hit. Though they each have designated roles based on their expertise, the lines between positions is oftentimes blurred. But, according to Conor, “there’s nothing wrong with this… we have a very capable team who are each able to excel in different elements.” It’s impressive to see people sharing responsibilities efficiently at such a young age; I find young entrepreneurs to shy away from getting help and attempting to balance it all themselves, usually with dire consequences. The team’s bold idea has paid off. I asked for Conor’s advice for young entrepre-

neurs thinking of venturing into a social enterprise, to which he quipped “to go for it... build a prototype at a low cost... look at what you want to build/create, and make a MVP that will act as a proof of concept to raise funding to get you to the place you want to be.” What if it fails, I hear you scream? “You’ll learn a lot about entrepreneurship and yourself along the way, which will be invaluable.” I don’t think I could have put it better myself. Next time you’re out for a coffee or a bite to eat, why not ask yourself if you genuinely need that stamp for yourself? If you can live without it, I would recommend using Stampify; it’s seamless and contributes a great deal towards helping kids in the developing world, at no cost at all to you.

Law

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

What Exactly is the COVID-19 Emergency Legislation?

“U

nprecedented actions to respond to an unprecedented emergency,” exclaims Taoiseach Varadkar in announcing the government’s next steps to combat the further spread of Covid-19. As of Thursday the 30th of March, there are over 2,910 confirmed cases of the virus and 54 deaths in the State, figures that have been consistently on the rise. The European Centre for Disease Control (ECDC) has warned that there is a high-risk that EU healthcare systems will be overwhelmed in the coming weeks; a particular

concern for Ireland which has just 5.6 ICU beds per 100,000 people, just half of the EU average. The pandemic has caused the Irish legislature to enact exceptional provisions in relation to the “grave risk to human life and public health.” Statute that would typically take weeks to progress, is being passed in mere days. The government primarily aims to prevent further spreading of the virus whilst mitigating the economic loss it bears. The Health (Preservation and Protection and Other Measures in the Public Interest) Act 2020 broadly empowers the Minister for Health, Simon Harris, to make regulation to slow the

spread of the infectious disease, including travel limitations in and out of Ireland, prohibition of public gatherings and requirements

can be declared for the hardest hit regions of the country which will allow for strict internal travel restrictions to be enforced. Furthermore, A

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The Health (Preservation and Protection and Other Measures in the Public Interest) Act 2020 broadly empowers the Minister for Health, Simon Harris, to make regulation to slow the spread of the infectious disease

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Rob Ó Beacháin Law Editor

for owners and occupiers of premises to enforce safeguards, including the implementation of social distancing. An “affected area order”

chief medical officer may order that a person considered a probable source of infection be detained and isolated for as long as the medical

officer believes is necessary. The Gardaí have also been entrusted with broad powers to ensure compliance with these regulations and have been issued with ‘spit hoods,’ in light of recent public backlash. It will be a punishable offence by up to €2,500 or 6-months imprisonment to contravene any such regulations that would cause further risk to public health, although it is hoped that these measures will not have to be taken. The statute also makes amendments to our social welfare legislation. Social welfare is now acquired once every fortnight to encourage social distancing and entitlement to disability payments are extended to

those who are incapable of working due to a Covid-19 diagnosis. Those who have become been laid-off since the outbreak are entitled to a €350 Pandemic Unemployment Support payment. This payment is to run a pending 12-week cycle and is reported to cost the State roughly €3.7 billion. Negotiations on the Emergency Measures in the Public Interest Bill is currently being carried out by the Oireachtas regarding the planning of temporary medical centres, rent freezes, temporary ban on evictions, mental health tribunals and Health and Defence recruitment.

Post-Brexit Immigration Policy to cause Northern Irish Labour Crash Rob Ó Beacháin Law Editor

he United Kingdom has finally left the EU and with this, a new points-based immigration system is welcomed. This means that noncitizens’ eligibility to work in the UK will be determined by scoring above a 70-point threshold in a scoring system based on factors including salary, English proficiency, qualification and skills. A recent Westminster policy statement claims that

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Noncitizen’s eligibility to work in the UK will be determined by scoring above a 70-point threshold in a scoring system based on factors including salary, English proficiency, qualification and skills.

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the UK should shift its reliance on EU-labour to focus on investment in technology and automation. This new system is hoped to attract the “brightest and best people from the whole world”

Pictured Above: Boris Johnson and Priti Patel to work and live in the UK. This new policy will not bear any practical implications between the UK and EU until the 1st January 2021 nor shall it affect the Common Travel Area between RoI and NI. The Migration Advisory Committee (MAC) have suggested the British government lower the salary threshold from £30,000 to £26,500 and to give special considerations to Northern Ireland as it uniquely bor-

ders an EU state and has the lowest median full-time salary in the UK of £18,000. This means that even migrants earning an above average salary in NI will struggle to meet this threshold and job vacancies will unlikely be filled. In Northern Ireland, 60% of all migrant workers are from the EU Member States compared to just 40% across the UK. Considering the MAC estimated that 70% of current EU migrant workers

in the UK would not qualify to work there under the new system, Northern Ireland is in high risk of experiencing a labour crash. This will result in unfilled job vacancies and hindrance to business growth and development, particularly in sectors that NI citizens show no interest in working in. “Very little in the UK Government’s attitude indicates that Northern Ireland’s interests are at the top of its priority list. The attitude of

the UK Government in relation to its immigrant policy is only the latest evidence of this - and part of the reason why Brexit … is actually likely to put the Union between England and the other component nations of the United Kingdom under increased strain,” claims Dr. Gavin Barret, UCD Sutherland School of Law, “UK Home Secretary Priti Patel declared that the UK’s proposed points-based rules will be an opportunity for 8.48million ‘economi-

cally inactive’ UK nationals to join the workforce. The problem is that according to the UK Office for National Statistics, the bulk of this 8.48m are students, longterm sick and disabled, looking after their family or home, retired or temporarily sick. In other words, they are not available for work at all: only 1.87m who would like a job and do not have one,” indicating a “triumph of politics over economics.”

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UCD SCHOOL OF LAW LEADS THE WAY IN JURY RESEARCH

Law then meet with and interview the judge or practitioner. Dr Coen noted that the judges were very generous with their time given their busy schedules, and that the interviews lasted around 90 minutes each. These were audio recorded at the time and subsequently a transcript was typed up of the interview. From there began the arduous process of manually plucking out the key themes of the interviews and collating them into observations for the Report.

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There was an undeniable sentiment on the part of judges regarding concern for jurors being inconvenienced by jury service.

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The project began in 2017 and concluded this year. In the course of the study, Drs Coen and Howlin were most surprised by the judges’ sympathetic attitudes towards jurors. They said that while this was not a theme, they had set out to investigate, there was an undeniable sentiment on

rofessors at UCD Sutherland School of Law published a ground-breaking report last month assessing the interactions between judges and jurors in Ireland. The study, titled ‘Judges and Juries in Ireland: An Empirical Study’, is the realisation of a project which began in 2017 by Dr Mark Coen and Dr Niamh Howlin, along with their research assistants, Dr Colette Barry and Mr John Lynch. The study is based on the findings of interviews with 22 judges and 11 barristers working within the Irish criminal justice system. The focus was predominantly on judges’ personal experiences presiding over jury trials; questions posed included what kind of rapport they have with jurors, what guidance and warnings they give to juries, and their views on the treatment of jurors. The aim of the study is to remedy the lack of empirical research on jury trials in this jurisdiction, whilst informing discussions and perhaps leading to law reform in the area. In an interview with Dr Coen and Dr Howlin, they noted that the laws on jury

secrecy make empirical research challenging, as jurors are prohibited from discussing deliberations. Another aim of the study is to identify possible divergences in practice regarding warnings or guidance given by judges. This is significant for issues such as warning jurors not to use the internet – a relatively new obstacle to fair trials on indictment. The research illustrates

at the bench when he felt underqualified to carry out the duties expected of him. An unusual feature of the study is the use of empirical research. This was a condition of the Fitzpatrick Family Foundation who kindly funded the study. The Foundation approached the Law School in UCD with a funding proposal in 2017 and the project began from there. Drs Coen and Howlin

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The aim of the study is to remedy the lack of empirical research on jury trials in this jurisdiction, whilst informing discussions and perhaps leading to law reform in the area.

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Blathnaid Corless & Amy Doolan Law Writers

variations on the emphasis placed by judges on this warning, showing a possible need for reform. The study was officially launched in the Criminal Courts of Justice in March by Chief Justice Frank Clarke. He spoke emphatically of the current financial and social burdens placed on jurors in modern Ireland, given the length of trials. He also noted the need for improved judicial training, reminiscing on his first week

began by deciding on the topic of the study and then began interviewing for research assistants to aid with this study as they knew the research would be labour-intensive. The study consists of interviews with serving judges of superior and district courts and practitioners. Having decided on the lines of questioning they would pursue based on their research objectives, a member of the research team would

the part of judges regarding concern for jurors being inconvenienced by jury service. The judges interviewed noted that jurors were not provided with any travel expenses meaning that many lose money whilst travelling to and from court every day. Another key finding was that judges wished to appear approachable and non-intimidating to jurors, as they were conscious that jury service is often the only direct contact lay people have with the criminal justice system. With regard to future research prospects, Drs Coen and Howlin said that they would like to expand on this report and ultimately would like to be able to interview jurors in order to produce further research. At present it is unclear whether the interviewing of jurors is legally permissible as it may constitute contempt of court, but Dr Coen noted that only 1 judge in the study felt it would not be legal to do so for academic research purposes. For now, those impacted by and involved in the Irish criminal justice system can hugely benefit from this new research on jury trials provided by UCD Sutherland School of Law.

Big Reads “Who am I going to be in this?”

Helping those in need during the COVID-19 crisis

Scott Evans - UCD Chaplain

t’s amazing how quickly we begin to adjust to the ways that our lives are changing. Two weeks ago, I didn’t know what ‘social distancing’ was. Yesterday, I turned to my wife while we were re-watching MasterChef when a contestant hugged the judges and said, “He’s not allowed do that.” The spread of the Coronavirus has changed the way in which we see and experience the world in a profound way. Crisis has a way of doing that. In our fear, panic and anxiety, we tend to turn to impulse. Survival instincts are an incredible resource in a moment of danger, but they can’t be trusted to take us on a prolonged journey through the unknown. For that, we need to choose intention over impulse. For me personally, I’m trying to move away from the question ‘How am I going to get through this?’ to ‘Who am I going to be in this?’ Here are some things I’ve been wrestling with.

Check My Privilege

As much as there are reasons for me to be scared and anxious right now, I am not in an at-risk category. I am not immunocompromised. I am young(ish). This is not a story about me being in danger, so I am trying to choose not to be that character in the story. On Saturday, I was at a pharmacy trying to work out a strategy with them about how we could get prescriptions to people who are at-risk. While I was there, the staff asked me to talk to a woman who was clearly in distress. She’s elderly and lives with her two sisters. One of them had a stroke and the other had a fall and they are both in hospital. She was scared for them and scared for herself. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she needs groceries or anything else that she can’t get for herself because, in the story we’re living right now, I am the one more likely to get through this unscathed. When I overestimate the risk to myself, I will underestimate the simple impact I can have on others — particularly others who are far more at risk than I am.

Realise Our Interconnectedness

Social media is saturated with pictures and videos of people stockpiling soap and hand sanitiser. Fear makes us forget our dependence on each other. If I’m going to stay safe, I don’t just need to be able to wash my hands. I need you to wash yours. And me buying the soap that you need to do so puts us both at risk. The hundreds of ways in which we have learned to think individualistically have caused us to forget that our lives are interconnected. My choices affect your future and your choices affect mine. I am safer when you are safer. When we get through this, and I believe we will, we won’t look back and marvel on the brilliance of our competitive survival strategies. As the old proverb goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

Cry, Laugh, Feel

Yesterday afternoon, I sidled up to my wife and told her I had a confession to make. She asked me what it was and, as much as it went against the grain of the image I project to the world around me, I answered: “I’m scared.” I hate admitting that. I’m afraid that, because my vocation is about supporting people, admitting I’m scared will bring it all tumbling down. She told me it’s ok to be scared and I’m trying to believe her because it’s not my job to carry the weight of the world. Denying my emotions doesn’t serve anyone. But later, when we laughed, I felt I had permission to because I had been honest about my fear. Fear makes us want to hold our breath. My siblings and I used to try and hold our breath as we drove through tunnels on road trips when we were kids. The tunnel we’re in now is a long one and we’re going to need to learn to exhale before we see the light at the end of it. It’s ok to breathe and it’s ok to be honest about how this all feels. If you need someone to talk to in confidence during this crisis, Scott and the other chaplains are still offering support throughout this challenging time.

How to Continue the Rents Protest Under COVID-19 Lockdown

he Rent Protests earlier this year served as a vocal opposition towards UCD’s proposed rent hike on campus of more than 12% over the next three years. We asked the candidates running for Campaigns &Engagement Officer in the Students’ Union to outline how they would continue the movement during the COVID-19 lockdown. C&E candidate Rekha Vishnu Nagargoje did not respond to participate in this piece.

Leighton Gray

Due to our current situation, the Students’ Union (SU) need to pay attention and be adaptable. We can only campaign online for the moment, so the SU need to work with algorithms and post a know your rights campaign regarding rent to reach as many students as possible. The SU need to allow people into the planning of future rent protests, having open Zoom meetings is a feasible way to achieve this. If people have no say in how the protests will proceed engagement could significantly drop. Furthermore, the SU need to put pressure on UCD to make sure that rents are not raised even further to accommodate for the financial losses during this time. This can be done with online posts, and creating an email template that students can send to relevant bodies.

I hope that by involving students and keeping them updated, the passion from previous physical protests will continue until and beyond the time it is safe to be on campus again.

Katie O’Dea

This campaign needs to build on momentum and move online in a manner sensitive to the current situation. We need to ensure that it is accessible, owned by students and that everyone feels empowered to be a part of the movement. We need to reach out to prominent alumni to exert pressure on management to roll back on their decisions. We need to work with TDs to put access to education and higher education funding at the top of the agenda of the new government. We need to involve the wider student body through encouraging them to get in touch with their local TDs to lobby them on these issues. Finally, the decision was made behind closed doors with no student reps in the room. Brian and I are working on a project aimed at strengthening the student voice on campus and enhancing the partnership between students and staff. In the mediumterm, this is the best way to get all parties in the same book, if not on the same page. We cannot improve unless we can communicate effectively.

Letter to the Editor:

Re: A Day in the Life of UCD President Andrew Deeks (p19)

Dear editor, Having read your article “A day in the life of UCD President Andrew Deeks” we were struck by a number of omissions. There was no mention of the extreme neglect of student support services, highly problematic use of funds and unjustified extortionate rent increases Prof. Deeks has put in place. You noted that all staff you encountered in the University Club expressed “genuine happiness” to see Prof. Deeks and mentioned Niamh Horan’s bizarre claim that he is seen as “progressive by staff”. Strangely, the fact that the University Club has been boycotted by over 400 academic staff is omitted. Also not mentioned were the postgraduate staff who are organizing against the casualisation of labour that has taken place in UCD where tutors are being paid poverty wages. While their wages remain at austerity levels, the pay of executive staff has been fully restored. Absent were the facts that Prof. Deeks selfauthorized a €7.5m spend on Ardmore house to refurbish his own office and those of other

executive staff, that the mental health budget has now been cut to the extent that it is lower than the luxury flights budget, that Prof. Deeks himself racked up 90k on travel expenses (predominantly on flights and hotels) and 50k per year on events at his home. At a time of a national housing crisis where the cost of living has skyrocketed; instead of showing leadership Prof. Deeks has overseen tens of millions of euro being pumped into elitist infrastructure, hiked campus rents and neglected student support services rendering UCD a cold house for the most vulnerable students. The article was highly insulting to the students on the other end of his commercialisation agenda. Yours etc., Ruairí Power, Sadhbh MacLochlainn, Darryl Horan, Katie McNulty, Lisa Murnane, Hannah Bryson. Co-Chairs - Fix Our Education.

Volume 33 - Issue 09

01.04.2020

Features

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

A Day in the Life of UCD President Andrew Deeks Conor Capplis - Editor The story below follows the President of UCD on an average day in the office. It should be noted that due to the current COVID-19 restrictions and university shutdown, the President’s day is vastly different, with much of his work done online and from home.

8am, March 9th, 2020. ’ll be honest, when UCD President Andrew Deeks agreed to let me spend a day with him, I didn’t expect it to begin with him and his daughter manically running towards me down the driveway of the University Lodge. The President’s house is tucked away in the corner of Belfield campus near the UCD

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I’m not sure what I should have expected to happen when following around Andrew Deeks for a day, but I certainly didn’t expect so much jogging this early in the morning. swiftly benched that one over how unnecessary it would be in a time of austerity. He explains that when he came into office in 2014, he arranged

He also goes into detail about the University’s ambitious new five-year strategy, something the Tribune criticised earlier this year for being “equivocal and

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When he first came into the role, Deeks tells me that Estate Services had a plan to “round off the edges” of the main UCD lake to make it look more like the other Belfield lakes. Apparently Deeks swiftly benched that one over how unnecessary it would be in a time of austerity.

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Bowl, right around the corner from the Teresian School. Deeks’ five-year old daughter, Pearl, is running as fast as she can to the gate. Following a quick hello to me, she hops on her scooter and begins her speedy journey to school. With a hurried greeting from the President before he starts jogging after her, I decide to roll with it and keep up with the early morning antics. Welcome to a day in the life of the UCD President. I’m not sure what I should have expected to happen when following around Andrew Deeks for a day, but I certainly didn’t expect so much jogging this early in the morning. After a tiresome 10-minute trip to drop Pearl to her Mandarin class before school, we slow it down and walk back on ourselves towards campus, chatting along the way. What strikes me first about the President is how chatty he is about UCD stuff. He is happy to talk about any issues or topics I put

to him, even the tough ones. We stroll to the Tierney Building and walk up to his third-floor office, which is spacious and stylish with a smooth, grey carpet that makes you want to roll around in it. His view of the lake is one of the best on campus. He tells me that former UCD President Michael Tierney enjoyed looking out and seeing what was going on in Belfield. We settle down at a table by the window and do a couple of general interviews on his personal life, career background and his interests outside of UCD. You can find these interviews and plenty of info on Deeks’ origins as a young aspiring Aussie cricketer at the end of this piece. We sat and chatted for a while before his 9:30 meeting. The President tells me some stories from his time here since he arrived in 2014. When he first came into the role, he tells me that Estate Services had a plan to “round off the edges” of the main UCD lake to make it look more like the other Belfield lakes. Apparently Deeks

a SWOT analysis of all of UCD’s facilities. Following the 2008 financial crash, higher education institutions became chronically underfunded by the government. Deeks explains that when he arrived in UCD, “it was about survival and rebuilding what was lost during austerity.”

imprecise.” In response to these statements, the President explains that the University can’t release detailed plans publicly, as their competitor universities could see them. He remains proud of the strategy and seems confident it will vastly improve the future state of UCD.

Talking briefly on the membersonly University Club that has become subject of vocal student opposition, Deeks says it’s better that the issue is personalised with him, so whenever he leaves UCD, everybody can move on and benefit from the facility. Following the repayment of the Club loan through corporate events and club membership, the University Club is expected to bring in significant income for UCD. It’s now coming up to 9:30am, and the President will soon have his first of many meetings today. He meets with Aoife Ahern, the College Principal and Dean of Engineering. She is the link between the President and the heads of schools, academics and staff in her faculty. They meet regularly to discuss the progress of UCD’s new Centre for Creativity. The Schools of Architecture and Civil Engineering are to move into the planned state-of-the-art building near the main entrance to UCD. They discuss the progress of the project, with Ahern boasting

Andrew’s Favourites What’s your favourite… Film: The Blues Brothers (original)

TV Show: Documentaries (Particularly Historical or Future-Looking Documentaries)

Food: The University Club Burger (Ground Beef, Smoked Cheddar, Smoked Bacon Pickles and Fries - €16)

Drink: Whiskey (Irish, Bourbon or Scotch) Meal to Cook: Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings Band/Musical Artist: ACDC, Pink Floyd, Midnight Oil, Bon Jovi Song: Imagine – John Lennon

Place: Durham, England

Dream Destination: Egypt to see the Pyramids

Sport: Cricket and Rugby League

Team to Support: Cricket – Australia, Rugby League - Manly Warringah Sea Eagles Book: ‘Swallows and Amazons’ by Arthur Ransome Hobby: Car Restoration Way to Relax: Play guitar, read a book, watch the news.

Place to go in UCD: Belfield’s Woodland Walk

Features

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

A Day in the Life of UCD ...Continued From Previous Page that “engineering is planning to grow quite significantly in terms of numbers,” calling for extensive meetings the President, the Bursar, Director of Estates and other key players surrounding the new development. Ahern says generally that her meetings with the President are her “opportunity to say to him: ‘This is what’s happening in the College.’ Or if there’s an issue coming up, and generally there’s never anything majorly serious. But just to give him an idea of where Heads of Schools concerns [lie].” Next in the day, Deeks meets with Marie O’Connor, Chair of UCD’s Governing Authority (GA). They meet together in advance of GA meetings to arrange the agenda. The GA is currently made up of staff, students, councillors and other interested parties in Dublin. The group meet throughout the year and tend to make the larger decisions in UCD. In his meeting with O’Connor today, Deeks arranges the agenda for the next GA meeting (now due to happen on March 26th via Zoom video conferencing). They agree on the necessary documents to be circulated to members in order for them to come to the meetings as informed decision-makers.

O’Connor says with regards to COVID-19, “it mightn’t have been on our agenda a couple of months ago, but it’s definitely pretty high on our agenda now.” O’Connor also highlights the importance that the GA acts as a collective within UCD, “no one person should have unfettered decision-making powers.” O’Connor has the chair for a 5-year period, to coincide with the term of the GA. The current

up on the third floor of the Tierney Building. At 12:30, Deeks is scheduled in for a bi-annual dialogue meeting between UCD and Quality and Qualifications Ireland (QQI). Padraig Walsh, QQI’s Chief Executive, explains to me that QQI is “responsible for external quality assurance and regulation of the post-secondary system in Ireland.” Today’s meeting is a chance for each

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While I run to the gent’s toilets by the President’s office, I notice a distinct lack of student graffiti on the cubicle walls. The staff admit that they don’t see a lot of students up on the third floor of the Tierney Building.

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GA, known as the “6th Governing Authority” was appointed last year and is the most gender diverse group to serve in UCD so far. While I run to the gent’s toilets by the President’s office, I notice a distinct lack of student graffiti on the cubicle walls. The staff admit that they don’t see a lot of students

party to voice concerns regarding quality assessment within the university. The meeting comes on foot of a recent Annual Institutional Quality Report (AIQR) which QQI sends to the University. They also discuss a recent “institutional level evaluation” conducted on UCD. These meetings are also used to

confidentially flag anything QQI or UCD thinks should be addressed. The dialogue meeting is followed by a working lunch. The highlights include classic triangle sandwiches and a large arrangement of fresh fruit. Next in his busy schedule for the day, Deeks meets with UCD’s Bursar David Kelly at 2:30. Kelly is the money guy in UCD, keeping tabs on the financials of the University. He meets with the President in a one-to-one meeting once a week. In today’s meeting, they discuss cash flow, capital projects, annual budgets, variances in income and expenditure and other smaller financial items. The University works with usually around €600m in income and €600m in expenditure each year, which means the Bursar and the President must plan long term for the annual and capital budgets. Within the meeting, Deeks and Kelly bounce back and forth financial issues brought to them by heads of schools and colleges, updating each other on how best to bring them to committee level. They also discuss some upcoming maintenance plans. During the summer, the concrete on the James Joyce Library and the Agricultural Science Building will be cleaned up, a project that the President has wanted done for some time. Kelly summarises his role, saying: “It’s basically trying to get the best value of the moneys we have and trying to deal with that.” The President now has a short gap before his COVID-19 meeting at 3:30. He offers to show me around the University Club and grab a coffee. Having wanted to try the hot chocolate in the Club for a good while, I swiftly accept. As we stroll over to the Club, we speak about the urban myth regarding UCD’s alleged “riotproof” design with specialised steps and a lack of a central area to congregate. Deeks isn’t really sure about any truth to the story. When we walk into the Club, something peculiar and unexpected happens. Every staff member we meet warmly greets the President with genuine happiness. As a contentious figure amongst the student body, this experience is rather bizarre. Perhaps he is “seen as progressive by staff” and “holds a good reputation,” according to Niamh Horan of the Irish Independent. Deeks kindly buys me a hot chocolate while he grabs a coffee, putting them both on an account which he pays back later. He shows me around the café, with its calm atmosphere and jazz playing in the background. Very fancy indeed.

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COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Features

President Andrew Deeks We move on to the restaurant, the bar and the Club’s many corporate conference rooms. Renting these rooms to corporates brings in a steady stream of income to the university. Deeks mentions PaddyPower as a frequent visitor to the conference rooms. We can’t stay for long, as the President has to get back for his urgent COVID-19 meeting. While walking back, Deeks mentions he would probably vote for Biden over Sanders in the Democratic Primaries in the U.S. He says this is not due to politics, but because he met Biden once and likes him personally. When passing Ardmore House, currently under a €7.5m refurbishment project, Deeks says that it’s been delayed by a couple of months and is now scheduled to be completed in May. UCD’s Human Resources will then move from Roebuck back to the third floor of the Tierney Building, allowing for the President and his staff to move back to Ardmore

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“To be honest, I found the President has been incredibly supportive of everything we have done. Particularly with the alumni engagement and growing that as much as possible.”

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O’Reilly Hall, the University Club and large corporate bookings around campus. In the meeting they discuss contingency plans for Alumni events and activities amidst the looming threat of COVID-19 in Ireland. They also consider the potential effects on UCD alumni from the virus, and how to mitigate this as much as possible. They move on to examine plans for the UCD Festival in June which Black organises with her team at Alumni Relations. One of UCD’s biggest events of the year is sponsored largely by corporations, they also discuss the budgetary impact should a sponsor pull out. The President and the Director additionally discuss arrangements to begin paying back large amounts of the University Club loan by the end of this year. Black says to me: “To be honest, I found the President has been

incredibly supportive of everything we have done. Particularly with the alumni engagement and growing that as much as possible. So, we’ve never been in a situation where we

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I figure this is my last chance to ask absolutely anything to the UCD President. So naturally, we talk about UCD myths.

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house this coming summer. Talking about how much leave he gets each year, Deeks says he gets five weeks off, usually taking a month during the summer but never while Deputy President Mark Rogers takes his month of holidays. They duo aim to leave at least one in charge of things at UCD. The President now heads into a short-notice COVID-19 meeting. The meeting is confidential, but the general purpose is to prepare for a larger meeting at the end of the week (This meeting was eventually brought forward to Thursday at 12pm with very little notice following Taoiseach Varadkar’s decision to close all schools and universities until at least March 29th). The President next meets with Nicole Black, the Director of Alumni Development and Alumni Relations Office, and the CEO of Conferences and Events at UCD. She works to garner the engagement of 300,000 UCD alumni around the world and with fundraising with alumni too. Black also looks after events at

weren’t on the same page.” Following the President’s last meeting of the day we take a few photos in his office before starting off for the Teresian School to pick up Pearl. On the way, I figure this is my last chance to ask absolutely

anything to the UCD President. So naturally, we talk about UCD myths. I ask him what he knows of the affectionately nicknamed “Old Man Belfield”, the rough looking man who has roamed about campus for years, receiving free food from the University. Deeks unfortunately doesn’t know the original story. I guess he’ll remain a mystery for now. I also ask him about what’s down in the mysterious and extensive tunnel network beneath UCD. He suggested that the Polish architect who designed them probably came from a cold and snowy background, leading to the deep and extensive heating system and maintenance tunnels built beneath the surface. We arrive at Pearl’s school once again. While Deeks is signing her out, we play some peek-a-boo back and forth to amuse ourselves. Once

I hand her the scooter, she whizzes away, leaving Deeks and I to catch up. Sometimes when Pearl gets tired, her Dad will pull her along on the scooter with a pink strap, not a bad deal for Pearl! Today she has plenty of energy and has us fools running after her all the way home. I leave them at the gate of the University lodge at about half past five. Deeks, Pearl and his wife Linda have duck for dinner before the President packs his bags for an evening flight. At 7:50 he flies from Dublin to Birmingham with Ryanair. The President is to sit on a Universitas 21 interview panel and return to Dublin on Thursday. And with that, my day with the President was over. It was certainly a surreal experience, being granted such intimate access to his daily life. It definitely shed light on who the man is and what he does all

...Continued From Previous Page day. From what I’ve been told, it’s a fairly representative day for him. Deeks said something to me earlier in the day, and I think I’ll leave you with that quote. There is definitely a strong perception

Features

amongst politically engaged UCD students that Deeks is the university villain, yet on closer inspection, although criticisms can be made on Deeks’ spending decisions, it’s evident that he’s a person just like the rest of us, and he’s trying to ensure the future

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

growth and financial stability of UCD. Whether he does a good job of that is up to you… I asked Deeks what his favourite part about UCD is. He responded: “The students, staff and faculty are fantastic. When you look at the talent that’s in the student body,

From Suburban Aussie Cricketer to UCD President Conor Capplis - Editor

ndrew Deeks grew up in Perth, Western Australia during the early to late 1970s. According to Deeks, growing up in Perth, at the time Western Australia was a “long, long way from the rest of Australia. It had its own supermarkets, its own football league, its own TV stations; it was very much selfcontained. […] It was a nice place to grow up, there was a lot of freedom. As kids you could go out and just find other kids to play with down at the local oval. At that time cricket was very big.” He grew up playing rugby league and cricket, “trying to emulate Dennis Lillee who was a famous Australian fastbowler. I was pretty good but not

good enough to be a professional.” Recalling his childhood years, Deeks says “it was a good childhood. We weren’t pushed to go to grind schools or anything like that. We got to play a lot so that was good.” Fast forward a few years, Deeks went to university in 1981 in Australia to study engineering. After he graduated, he worked for a couple of years in the industry. He found that “industry work tended to be a little bit repetitive and a little bit boring, which brought me back to the university where I undertook a Masters degree.” He enjoyed tutoring and researching which he felt had “more of an impact on people’s lives.” Although he tutored the same content each year, Deeks admitted that “each

cohort of students is different. There are different personalities and that keeps it interesting.” Deeks went on to work up through the academic ranks, explaining that “once you get to a certain level, then people say “Ah, we need someone to be the next head of school.” And so, I agreed to do a term as head of school.” When he came towards the end of a fiveyear term as head of the school of engineering, a collaborator at Durham University sent Deeks an email. The subject line of the email said, “Would you like a job at Durham?” The colleague attached the advertisement for the Provost Chancellor role in Durham. Deeks says he “applied and the rest as they say, ‘is history.’” He went to Durham in 2009

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when I hear the choral scholars or the Ad Astra musicians playing and see some of the accomplishments […] and see the great range of talents – not just the academic talents – but the broad talents that the student population [have] is just fantastic. Certainly, the people

here, they’re willing to work hard, they’re willing to try new things, they’re willing to get engaged. Generally, it’s the people that make the university, and the people are fantastic.”

and worked as Pro-Vice Chancellor for Science. Deeks worked there for four and a half years and said he “had a nice time there” recalling it as his favourite place to visit. He met his wife Linda when they were both working at Durham University. While at Durham, he was given the opportunity to attend the Top Management Programme (TMP) which is a training programme for prospective presidents and vice-chancellors that’s run across the UK. The President recalls: “As a result of engaging in that, I felt that probably I had the necessary skillset to go to the next stage. Then the head-hunters came calling about the role here in UCD. Initially I was very sceptical, particularly when I looked at the history of the university and saw how integral UCD had been in the formation of the Irish State […] And every president since John Henry Newman had been an Irishman. So, I said to the head-hunters: “Are you sure you’re talking to the right

person here? Are they going to look any further than Irish?” The headhunter assured me “No, no, they’re absolutely open for it”.” After a rigorous selection process, the final stage of which was a full day of interviews and engagement with stakeholder groups, Deeks was selected to be the next UCD President. He said, “it was a very intense process, but I was fortunate at the end of it to be appointed.” His daughter Pearl was born in December 2014, not long after Deeks and his wife moved to Dublin, “She certainly keeps us busy! She’s a lively one.” Pearl is now five years old and attends The Teresian School, right around the corner from the University Lodge. Deeks currently serves as President of UCD, with his 10-year fixed term due to finish in 2024.

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COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Features

Avengers: Age of Unrealistic Body Expectations

Why Men Shouldn’t Model Themselves on Hollywood Facades

Firstly, this is not an argument against exercising, dieting, athletic actors, or even injecting anabolic steroids in your ass. The aim, if any, is to provide a reminder to men to remain realistic with their personal body expectations because those they may emulate are taking shortcuts that they can’t afford access to. Feelings of dissatisfaction and self-consciousness are unfortunate consequences of the human affliction which we call cognitive thought. What concerns me, are the role-models that young boys and men base their self-evaluation on, and the ever-blurring line between the motivation of what men can look like through training, and pervasive dogma of what a man should look like. A survey of university students from the United Kingdom and Denmark revealed that 8.6% of these young men and women considered themselves “too thin”, while 53.7% evaluated themselves as “too fat”. As stated, self-doubt and worry are normal components of human cerebral functionality. My question is, what factors could be perpetuating and exacerbating the doubts which eat away at

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While I don’t think that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is entirely to blame for the current body fixation in our culture, I would argue that the superhero genre has normalised and celebrated unattainable body appearances and massive body transformations on a global scale.

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he issue of the male bodyimage is a consistently overlooked and ignored subject. At a time of ripped role models, gym-junky influencers, and hordes of photoshopped advertisement campaigns, how are dudes holding up under the pressure?

the impressionable minds of young men? For me, you don’t have to look far. Take a glance at the media and entertainment sectors, continuously serving up storylines overflowing with stereotypes. Skinny men still hold the intellectual role of the programmer, gamer, or nerd. Overweight and chubby men are still being pigeonholed into the buffoon, comic, and side-kick roles. Meanwhile, strapping men are shown to stop the baddies, save the day, and get the girl; all while cracking wise and covered in a neat

layer of grit to make those guns really pop. Now guys, which one do you want to be? While I don’t think that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is entirely to blame for the current body fixation in our culture, I would

argue that the superhero genre has normalised and celebrated unattainable body appearances and massive body transformations on a global scale. Way back in 2011 when Captain America: The First Avenger was released, actor Chris Evans’ body transformation lit headlines alight. At the beginning of the movie, he is the sickly, useless Steve Rogers. Rogers then takes part in a super-soldier treatment; he’s injected with serums and blasted with vita-rays…Wham! Out from the ambiguous, scientific fog struts Captain America. He’s an anatomist’s dream, every muscle protruding through his skin. He’s taller, he’s bigger, he’s stronger. He’s America’s hero! He strides towards his love interest, the equally gorgeous Peggy Carter. She stares at his oncoming, jacked rig, raises a hand to his swollen pectorals, and pulls her hand away with a gasp! The problem isn’t Stan Lee’s storytelling, his comics have been part of popular culture since time immemorial. However, Marvel’s monopolistic domination of the box office has lasted—so far— for over a decade, and as a result, it’s ideas and images have completely dissimulated into our society’s zeitgeist. With it has come a barrage of hulking male heroes whose awe-inspiring physiques have sunk into the subconscious minds of young males. These body shapes, in all their galaxy-saving glory, are not natural. They are, to put it plainly, the product of artificial enhancement. We’ve all

probably heard that bodies like that require intense dedication, but let’s have a quick look at what else is necessary. To monitor diet and health, a nutritionist and a

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Ask yourself, if today’s CGI technology can feasibly turn 76-yearold Robert Niro into a 20-year-old soldier for The Irishman, couldn’t they add a few inches to Wolverine’s arms?

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Nicholas Lane – Features Writer

physician are two must-haves. As is a personal trainer, preferably one who is world renowned, which Marvel’s Disney money can afford. Then, get to work training twice a day, for four-to-six months. Two more small things you’ll need if you’re hoping to match the muscle of your favourite onscreen action hero. The first is ‘performance supplements’, like steroids or testosterone enhancers. This addition to a busy work-out schedule is a topic frantically danced around by media and entertainment industries – “What’s the secret to that physique?”, “oh well, a lot of chicken breast, steamed broccoli, kale…” I’d imagine the players involved in Marvel will take a leaf from Dwayne ‘The Rock‘ Johnson or Arnold Schwarnegger’s “do as I say, not as I do” book, and admit to using

steroids to further their budding careers years down the line, while utterly denouncing their usage in the same sentence. The final factor in getting that ripped beach body; movie magic. By this, I don’t mean days’ worth of dehydration, downward lighting, flexing, reps between takes, or standing on boxes, I’m talking about computergenerated imagery. Ask yourself, if today’s CGI technology can feasibly turn 76-year-old Robert Niro into a 20-year-old soldier for The Irishman, couldn’t they add a few inches to Wolverine’s arms? A final point, the celebrities portraying these characters do not remain in their superhuman form in their day to day life. Their size and muscle is built up, through the methods I’ve underlined above, in preparation for a particular role or shoot. They subsequently lose this body shape when they return to their normal, civilian lives and start enjoying themselves again. The unfortunate thing is, we don’t get to see this return to normalcy, and we continue associating them with their God-like form. Studies show time and time again that regular exercise is beneficial for your mental wellbeing. So, enjoy your fitness journey and the advantages it brings, but don’t hold your mind and body hostage to these unreachable body image expectations. Boy, you look fine as hell.

Features

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

Mature Student Diaries: Trying out that whole society thing

Rachel Thornburgh Mature Student Columnist

o here I am four weeks into my tenure as a post grad student in UCD. I am under strict instructions to myself to ‘embrace the student Modus Operandi!’, as it’s clear that this opportunity may not present itself again, so enter Belfield 2020 and a postgrad cert. I had frequented UCD before, the bar actually, many years ago, as most of my peers from secondary school attended here. I attended one of the several, DITs that were sprinkled around the city, which were impish in comparison. So, stepping foot on the bedrock of Belfield many years later as a student myself, I won’t lie, totally freaked me out. But fortunately, by day three I was hooked. There is no reason to leave campus (and this has since been confirmed by a live-on-campus-student). It has bloody everything! A bar, a gym, a swimming pool, a book shop, various food outlets, a cinema, hell it even has its own radio station. So, to embrace the backpack, the first thing on my list of things to do was to explore a few societies. After careful examination of the societies website (lads, did you know there are over 84?), I picked my top three: Nutrition (for the science nerd in me), mature students (well ya know, I’m sucking it up for the team) and Italian (ho qualche parola). Luckily for me, the nutrition society hosted a healthy eating week two weeks ago with some cool events happening around campus and an engaging talk given by Daniel Davey, nutritionist for Leinster Rugby and Dublin Football teams. Methodical brain satiated! Check! To the Italians... I sent an email (in Italian) ma aimé,

they are not responding. Ma dove siete amici? Even after having a look on Facebook, which let’s be honest has all the answers, the most recent event posted was in 2016. Che triste. Trovatemi ragazzi, vi aspetto! Next mature students. Within thirty seconds of contacting this society, the lovely Carla emailed back with a fervent response. Carla is now my new UCD BFF. She even offered to give me directions whenever needed (always needed Carla!). What’s on offer: pilates, crafts and coffee (who doesn’t love crafts and coffee?) and career workshops. All very practical and necessary. The Mother Hubbard of societies. Bless. On another note, I had a go at the sports centre and had my hand held, not literally, by a wonderfully smart and assertive undergrad, who very kindly assisted me with the online induction (who ever heard of an online induction for a gym?). But seriously lads, even if you have absolutely no desire to get sweaty in the sports centre, I highly recommend completing the online gym induction, if only for a go at the multiple choice questions: some of the answers are a hoot! Back to my helper (In fact I wonder if she knows Carla? They are cut from the same soft and fuzzy cloth! More of that please), she walked me from the Sports Centre to the Computer Science Centre via the O’Brien Centre. Honestly, finding her was like unearthing a scrunched-up fiver in my back pocket. She retrieved me from A and delivered me to B successfully. If I could have put her in my pocket and brought her home with me, I would have. I told her that and she proclaimed that all undergrads receive a peer led induction when they start at the university! Excuse me? Eh? Hello?! UCD Management? What led you to believe that us aul ones could do without

this sliver of support? How were we omitted from this faction? This blessed abyss is astronomical and if anyone requires a piece of peer led induction, we do! Right I’m off to have a game of chess by the lake after, of course, my session in the gym. Come on Body Pump in studio 3! Let’s be having ya!

THE TURBINE “The Rent Hikes Were an Inside Job”

It’s satire, please don’t sue us.

THE ULTIMATE UCD BUCKET LIST Shane Grogan List-Making Specialist

eeing as I had nothing else to do during this crisis, I had a look at one of my old todo lists. On the list I found “Write an article for college paper UCD To-Do list”. That sounded better than writing my thesis so here I am. As a final year student, I left UCD on the 6th March for the break not knowing that I might never see the place or many of my classmates again. So, I thought I’d reflect on my time in UCD by writing a bucket list of things to do. Some of these I have done, and others I haven’t, I’ll let you guys guess which one is which. *This list is heavily plagiarised from the various lists I found on the internet*

Campus Exploring: 1. Swim in a lake (beware the swans)

2. Drink a pint of Fosters in the Clubhouse

13. Go to Teach na Gaeilge in Merville

3. Steal a traffic cone and road sign

Academic Achievements:

4. Find the Secret Lake 5. Try to get into the underground tunnels 6. Walk on the roof of the Concourse 7.Sleepover at every accommodation in UCD 8. Do the Glenomena hurdles 9. Get free tea and coffee in the Seomra Caidrimh B207 Newman 10. Watch a UCD match in the UCD Bowl 11. Go to the gym, stop after ten minutes and go to the tepidarium 12. Go to the UCD Farm

14. Have a Golden Week – attend every lecture in a week 15. Have a Black Week – attend no lectures in a week 16. Have a Platinum Week – go out every night and attend every lecture 17. Have a Double Platinum week – go out every night, attend every lecture and go to the gym every day 18. Have a Triple Platinum Week – go out every night, attend every lecture, go to the gym every day and pull every night 19. Make a library boyfriend/girlfriend 20. Stay in the Astra Hall until close at 2am during

late-night study. 21. Have sex somewhere in UCD that’s not in a residence 22. Get ‘arrested’ by Librocop 23. Fail an exam

32. Open Mic night in the clubhouse 33. Go to the UCD Vegetable garden with Horticulture Soc 34. Go to a Musical Soc musical

Exploring the World: 43. Go to RAG week in another college

44. Go on a cheap Europe trip during the Easter “study break” 45. Go on Erasmus

24. Do a semester X

35. Get onto a club or society committee

Miscellaneous:

Clubs and Societies:

Exploring Dublin:

47. Fall out of love

25. Join a society for the free stuff and don’t attend a single event 26. Join a sports club and go on the varsity weekend for the session

36. Sneak into Trinity Ball 37. Sleepover at every college in Dublin 38. Sneak into Fair City village in RTÉ

27. Play Superleague

39. Day trip to Howth

28. Run for Class Rep

40. Day drink in the Pav in Trinity

29. Go to a TradSoc session in the Conradh 30. Go on the ski trip 31. Go on a surf trip

41. Day trip to Dún Laoghaire 42. Coppers

46. Fall in love

48. Wait outside theatre L until after a lecture has started and when someone is trying to sneak in late, unnoticed, shout “sorry I’m late” into the theatre behind them, just as they walk through the door, then run away. 49. €5 McDonalds Student Meal Deal 50. Graduate

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COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Pandemic Politics:

Everything Else Is Out the Window

Pictured Above: The Rent Protests last month have now been overshadowed by the COVID-19 pandemic.

Conor Paterson - Politics Editor

he Covid-19 pandemic and the preventative measures taken to stop its spread have had colossal effects on all aspects of our society. To many, it can feel like the world has come to a standstill. People are locked up in their home and businesses have shut down, many with no guarantee of ever reopening. Nonetheless, even in such conditions, politics never comes to a standstill. As news headlines and the national focus

switched entirely to the virus, other issues fall away, and politicians are thrust into the spotlight reassuring fearful citizens. The coronavirus outbreak has caused many of us to reassess what is important in life. Brexit dominated the news headlines for months and the public grew tired of it, now Brexit seems so insignificant in comparison to the crisis we face today. The issue has not gone away but we see national media interest simply vanish into thin air. Closer to home, the recent plans to increase rent on the UCD

campus prompted a fierce backlash. The story was not just followed closely by students but captured by the national media. The plans to increase rent on campus was seen as indicative of the extortionate cost of living for students at UCD. In early March, UCD Students’ Union President Joanna Siewierska said, ‘The Students’ Union will continue escalating our actions until Management engage with us appropriately and meet our demands.’ At that time the thought of the country being in lockdown was unimaginable but

Politics

now those words ring hollow. Whether the campaign against the rent increases, spearheaded by the Students’ Union, can be resurrected remains to be seen, but the recent outbreak has made the reversal of the decision extremely unlikely. While the public is consumed with the latest news relating to the virus, government formation talks have slipped under the radar. Currently, negotiation teams have been appointed by both Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil in the hopes of forming a government. In order to gain a majority in the 33rd Dáil, both parties will need the support of other TD’s. At this stage, independent TD’s are the most likely to fill that role should talks between the two parties come to some sort of agreement. The Covid-19 outbreak means a stable government is absolutely imperative. The current caretaker government, led by Leo Varadkar, has drawn praise from all sections of the political spectrum for its handling of the crisis so far, but tougher times lay ahead. It remains to be seen whether the diverted media attention can help progress the government formation talks or whether the Covid-19 pandemic will dramatically shift the political landscape.

Student Issues in the Upcoming U.S. Election Ben Duggan – Politics Writer

ith the presidential election fast approaching, American college students will be analysing the stances of each of the reaming candidates on issues which are of importance to them, in particular climate change and the cost of college. These issues also weighed heavily on the minds of student voters in the recent general election here in Ireland. Climate change, which has typically been an important issue for younger generations, has recently grown in prominence. There has been an increase in calls for policy proposals which promise to take substantive action and show tangible results. The more progressive wing of the democratic party has been influential in implementing these beliefs in a political sense. Their biggest result so far has been the drafting of the ‘Green New Deal,’ a plan which aims to transform America into an eco-friendlier country. Sanders is the only remaining candidate to support the plan and as a result, has received widespread support and endorsement from various environmental groups. On

the contrary, Biden has received backlash for his plan, the ‘Clean Energy Revolution,’ with most criticisms addressing the reliance it has on the fossil fuel industry during the so-called transitional period to a greener country. Policies such as the introduction of 500,000 charging ports and providing $400 billion in research are steps in the right direction, but it’s clear that the ‘Green New Deal’ offers a more comprehensive and complete solution. Student debt has always been a concern for American students and the past ten years have only seen the situation worsen. The accumulative student loan debt currently stands at $1.5 trillion and the average debt per student is estimated to be around $30,000, almost twice as much as the average developed country. These high numbers are due in part to the drastic increase in tuition fees in the last ten years. Sanders’ plan to tackle the issue has been the most well-received and would see the cancelling of all student debt but also the implementation of free college, both solving the debt and ensuring that the problem would not simply repeat itself in the future. Biden’s plan has been viewed as the worse of the

two by students. It promises to cancel student debt but only in bankruptcy and fails to effectively address the ever-rising tuition fees. The anger felt by students in America is similar to those expressed in Ireland at the rising cost of living for students and the increased barriers to education that it creates. While the majority of students will vote democrat regardless, there should be a sense that this

election was a missed opportunity. In Sanders, American students find a viable candidate whose proposed policies provided tangible and head on solutions to issues that directly affect them. However, with Biden now appearing to be a shooin for the democratic nominee, students will only have the option to vote for him or Trump, neither of which has been popular with that demographic.

Poli-Ticker Conor Paterson Politics Editor

USI Deputy President Resigns: Michelle Byrne of the Union of Students in Ireland was forced into the decision after it was revealed that she was willing to hand over the names of right-wing activists to a purported anti-fascist group that said it wanted to ‘slap them around’. The revelations were uncovered by the rightwing publication The Burkean.

European Union Abandons Deficit Rules: The EU has announced the drastic measure to help countries deal with the economic fallout of the Covid-19 crisis. The announcement followed the European Central Bank’s decision to add a €750 billion stimulus for the eurozone.

Fine Gael the Party to Rebuild the Economy says Varadkar: The Covid-19 pandemic is expected to have a huge and long-lasting effect on the Irish economy with unemployment rising and growth falling. In a meeting of the Fine Gael parliamentary party, Leo Varadkar told colleagues they should be the best party to deal with the fallout.

First G7 Summit Via Teleconference to be held in June: The meeting of the heads of states of the seven most advanced economies in the world will take place via teleconference rather than face to face in Camp David, Donald Trump has confirmed.

Science

The Lab Report Adam Boland Science Editor

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STEM Fatale: Can you be a Woman in Science?

Researchers have revolutionised our understanding of how the brain responds to visual stimuli by showing mice film noir classics like Touch of Evil by Orson Welles.

Astronomers think they have discovered an exoplanet with iron rain. Some parts of the planet get hot enough to melt iron, then strong winds carry the iron somewhere colder, where it condenses and falls.

Scientists have created a new laser-based system which can see around corners in real time. This incredibly impressive technology could be used in selfdriving cars to identify hazards.

A new method has been discovered for splitting water into its constituent parts. The breakthrough could make the technique an affordable way to store renewable energy in the form of hydrogen fuel.

Geologists have determined by studying a 3.2 billionyear-old ocean crust that the early earth was likely completely submerged in water. That means that life on earth almost certainly began in the sea.

Researchers have discovered an animal that does not need to breathe oxygen, challenging our assumptions about life on earth. The animal, which is a 10-celled parasite, lives in the muscles of salmon.

Jade Norton - Science Writer

he number of women in STEM has risen in the last few years but it is still considerably lower than the proportion of men. A government-run study from 2018 found that it would take more than 20 years for women to make up 40% of all professors. This has led to societal and governmental interventions to improve this statistic as well as a womanpowered movement for equality with their scientific peers. In

Ireland, almost three-quarters of professors are men and in science-related fields only 16% of professors are women. Many studies have examined the need for an emphasis on women in science and what part female role models could play in shaping young female minds. It was found that by having a female role model in science young women were more likely to feel comfortable going into a male dominated field and succeeding in this field. The effect of role models can be

acutely seen by looking at quotes from famous male scientists who almost always quote other famous male scientists as being their inspiration for going into science. The addition of successful and confident female scientific figures such as Rosalind Franklin and Jane Goodall into legend have ignited a hope for women to live up to the scientific prowess of these women and hopefully be able to quote them in the future for their own accomplishments. The issue preventing many women from climbing the ladder

Volume 33 - Issue 09

at work is the fact that many of the higher managerial posts in universities are held by men and often men that are comfortable in their jobs. There are multiple organisations now in operation that aim to change these societal norms. In UCD this includes the ‘Women in STEM’ society, which is a network that supports women in UCD pursuing STEM careers. They aim to ‘form a community that challenges cultural norms, fosters personal networks and provides information’ and they host many events throughout the year that provide information about career opportunities as well as recognising the achievements of women in STEM. The government’s ‘Senior Academic Leadership Initiative’ (SALI) has been put in place which provides funding for women in Higher Education Institutes (HEI) across Ireland as professors. In 2020, 20 jobs were offered across the HEIs. This year UCD advertised for a Professor of Biomedical Engineering and a Professor of Materials Chemistry specifically for women under the SALI initiative. This is a step forward in reducing the present gender inequality as well as influencing the mindset of young women to show them that being a science professor is something that they too can achieve.

Planes, Trains or Automobiles? The Carbon Footprint of Transport Adam Boland – Science Editor

OVID-19 has likely caused the largest drop in transport emissions the world has ever seen. In a few months, however, we will all be getting back in our cars and planes in an attempt to return to normalcy. In this article, I’ll be telling you how to work out for yourself which modes of transport are the best for the environment. Under normal conditions we all need to get places, and that requires carbon emissions no matter how we do it. Even cycling or walking produces emissions by burning calories which you got from food, the production and transport of which produced emissions. How much carbon is produced by different modes of transport, however, varies considerably. When you are evaluating how bad a mode of transport is for the environment, the first thing you want to look at is the fuel source. A car that runs on petrol, for instance, will produce significantly more emissions than an electric car which has been charged up on electricity from renewable sources

like wind and solar. The second thing you want to look at is the weight of the vehicle divided by the number of passengers. Cars, for example, have a much higher impact than motorbikes, even if they run on the same fuel. That is because

you are accelerating a tonne of metal to 120kph to get a 60kg person from point A to point B. That is unbelievably inefficient. The picture is a lot better if you have a full car, since the weight per passenger is 5 times less than if you were alone in the car.

It is all about energy use. It takes much less energy to move a light object than a heavy one. It also takes a lot more energy to stop and start constantly while you are stuck in traffic than it does to cruise down an open road. Reducing the number of cars on the road is the best way to get rid of traffic, which would do wonders for both our emissions and air quality. Public transport is much better. Part of that is the reduction of traffic, but it is also down to the weight per passenger. While a bus is extremely heavy, it is still more efficient when you divide it by the number of people on board. The third thing you want to look at is how much carbon it took to produce the vehicle in the first place. This is known as the embodied emissions. Depending on the type of car and how much you drive it, the embodied emissions may account for as much as half of all the carbon released during the car’s lifetime. Often, then, it is better to run your old banger into the ground than to buy a new car, even if the new one is more efficient.

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Science

GET €50 AND UN-CANCEL YOUR PLANS Get €50 when you open a KBC Student Current Account, so you won’t need to live like a student.

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Gaeilge

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

Feachtas Teanga an Chumainn Ghaelaigh a bhaineann leis seo ná normalú ar theanga na Gaeilge, atá mar theanga oifigiúil na tíre. Bheadh Gaeilge shimplí in úsáid agus le cloisteáil mar theanga fheidhmiúil. D’fhéadfadh sé a bheith mar ábhar cainte chomh maith, le cás na Gaeilge a phlé agus a cheistiú cén fáth nach bhfuil an Ghaeilge i gcónaí le feiceáil sa saol laethúil agus conas go bhféadfadh sí a bheith níos feiceálaí. Bhain freagraí dearfacha le

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Is smaoineamh simplí ach éifeacht é an feachtas. Tá na hacmhainní ag na léachtóirí mar sin ní gá aon rud sa bhreis a dhéanamh agus tugadh nathanna laethúla, praiticiúla dóibh ar féidir iad a chur i bhfeidhm i suíomh foghlama go nádúrtha.

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á feachtas teanga ar bun ag an gCumann Gaelach leis an nGaeilge a spreagadh ar champas UCD. Dhírigh siad ar léachtóirí sna scoileanna ar fad san ollscoil agus chuaigh siad i dteagmháil leo trí ríomhphost ag míniú aidhm an fheachtais. An rud a bhí uathu ná go mbainfeadh níos mó léachtóirí as cúpla focal Gaeilge agus léacht nó rang ar siúl. Mar sin, chuir siad pdf chuig na léachtóirí le frásaí úsáideacha le húsáid,ar nós ‘Dia dhaoibh’, ‘Go raibh maith agaibh’ agus ‘feicfidh mé sibh an tseachtain seo chugainn’. Tugadh aistriúchán Béarla ar na frásaí chomh maith le conas an focal a rá de réir na foghraíochta agus mar sin ní bheadh deacracht ag aon léachtóir, píosa Gaeilge a úsáid sa seomra ranga nó sa léachtlann. Sheol an Cumann an feachtas go oifigiúil ar an 5ú Márta sa Seomra Caidrimh in Áras Newman. Thaispeáin siad cárta na nathanna do chách agus mhínigh siad go raibh siad ag iarraidh an Ghaeilge a normalú ar champas agus go mbeadh sí le cloisteáil níos minice. Bhí

Aodán Ó Dea ann ó Chonradh na Gaeilge agus labhair sé faoi rud amháin a dhéanann sé féin le cur leis an nGaeilge sa tsochaí. Chuir sé cosc air féin an focal ‘thanks’ a úsáid agus ina áit, deir sé go raibh maith agat le daoine sa phobal, le fear an bhus agus aon uair eile gur féidir. Bhí taoschnónna ann agus slua breá le foghlaim faoin bhfeachtas. Is smaoineamh simplí ach éifeacht é an feachtas. Tá na

hacmhainní ag na léachtóirí mar sin ní gá aon rud sa bhreis a dhéanamh agus tugadh nathanna laethúla, praiticiúla dóibh ar féidir iad a chur i bhfeidhm i suíomh foghlama go nádúrtha. An toradh

seoladh an fheachtais agus leis an ríomhphost den mhórchuid agus bhí léachtóirí go ginearálta an-sásta tacú leis an bhfeachtas. Ar an drochuair, tháinig freagra diúltach eisceachtúil ar ais ó Not An Advertisement

léachtóir a dúirt ‘A chara, I do not support the use of minority languages in the academy, and will not be supporting this campaign. Accordingly, please remove me from your mailing list. Le meas, ______ (ainm bainte amach).’ Is cinnte nach gá do léachtóir páirt a ghlacadh nó suim a léiriú san fheachtas ach ní féidir a shéanadh gurb í an Ghaeilge teanga oifigiúil na tíre seo. Bhí sé spéisiúil gur bhain siad úsáid as Gaeilge le tús agus deireadh an ríomhphoist a scríobh. Ar an dea-uair, b’eisceacht é an freagra agus bhí go leor léachtóirí eile ag tnúth le níos mó Gaeilge a úsáid agus iad i mbun teagaisc. De ghnáth baineann imeachtaí agus gníomhaíochtaí na gCumann le mic léinn ach tá ag feachtas seo ag tabhairt cuireadh do léachtóirí a bheith gníomhach ann agus leo agus ní tharlaíonn seo go minic. Mar is eol dúinn, tá deireadh le ranganna agus léachtaí fisiciúla an seimeastar seo ar champas UCD mar gheall ar an gcoróinvíreas a bheith ag scaipeadh go domhanda. Mar sin, ar an drochuair, ní bheidh tionchar an fheachtais le feiceáil láithreach. É sin ráite, beidh an cárta leis na frásaí fós ag na léachtóirí nuair a

thosaíonn léachtaí agus ranganna arís. Is féidir leis an gCumann ríomhphost gairid a sheoladh amach nuair a tharlaíonn sin chun an feachtas a chur i gcuimhne dóibh arís. Ní obair in aisce atá ann

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Mar a deir an seanfhocal, tús maith, agus go deimhin tús iontach sa chás seo, leath na hoibre.

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Cecily Nic Cionnaith Eagarthóir Gaeilge

in aon chor agus feictear é seo ón bhfreagra dearfach den chuid is mó a bhain leis an bhfeachtas teanga. Beidh léachtóirí le Gaeilge, le cúpla focal agus gan aon Ghaeilge in ann an Ghaeilge a chur chun cinn nuair a fhilleann an ollscoil arís. Ní bheidh sé deacair an feachtas a atosú agus a athsheoladh an bhliain seo chugainn nó nuair is féidir. Mar a deir an seanfhocal, tús maith, agus go deimhin tús iontach sa chás seo, leath na hoibre.

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Philosophy

Coronavirus or: How to Learn to Stop

Worrying and Love ‘The Plague’

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The Tribune, from our underground apocalypse shelter, will shine a ray of UCD light in these increasingly dark times, and get you thinking.

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I don’t think any of you reading this article would have imagined yourselves isolating in your homes, eyes glued to the news, eating your weight in tea-soaked digestives. Yet, here we are. These are incredibly strange, frightening but also fascinating times we’re living in. It’s important to keep the mind active, and attempt to process some of this Covid-19 disorder and adapt to our new albeit temporary lives as cave-dwellers. For me, philosophy provides this avenue for meaning, hope or perseverance when they’re in short supply for many of us today. We’ve got to ask: what can we take from literature and philosophy? How do we cope with isolation? The Tribune, from our underground apocalypse shelter, will shine a ray of UCD light in these increasingly dark times, and get you thinking. Recently I’ve dusted off the book ‘The Plague,’ by the FrenchAlgerian philosopher Albert Camus as it deals with much of the same issues we’re encountering in our day-to-day lives and on the nightly news. The novel tells the story of the Algerian town of Oran as it suffers in the grips of a rat-borne Black Death style plague, that forces its populace into quarantine or to aid in the fight against the spread of the gruesome disease. Many of the citizens of Oran are capitalistic and commercially minded folk much like nowadays, that are bombarded with explanations and sources of meaning from the likes of newspapers touting miracle cures and local religious figures claiming it’s an act of divine biblical retribution. The narrative features a number of characters, like Rieux a doctor on the front lines of combating the plague, Cottard an ex-criminal who makes money smuggling goods into the quarantined city and Tarrou a moralising and contemplative figure who inquires into the meaning of all this suffering. These characters act as a slice of modern capitalist society, all of which are complex and have their own set of reasons and moral codes. Some decide to work empirically and scientifically against the amoral spread of the disease, while others use it as a chance to satisfy their greed and many will simply be confused and retreat into themselves for comfort. Yet, no matter where you are in the world we all share that collective surprise

and shock at something that suddenly frustrates and disrupts our often overly narcissistic worldview. Like in the novel, when Rieux suddenly discovers the carcass of a dead rat at the foot of some stairs, disrupting the flow of his daily existence. It shows how

meaning can be stripped away incredibly quickly, and without consulting you. After a considerable amount of time in isolation, Oran’s citizens begin to focus less on the personal woes of their own suffering and the inconveniences of quarantine, and want to help in fighting the

disease. They come to recognize the plague as a crisis that affects everyone collectively, and that they must act collectively to bring it to an end. They confront their social responsibility and attain a new found vigilance and join the anti-plague efforts. This is what the world’s population immersed in the mindset of capital and the market will have to realise and confront. That only through the collective and global efforts of humanity can we recover from this crisis, let’s just hope it won’t be too little too late. Camus’ work shows that something as serious as a virus cannot be seen as merely a minor annoyance to be overlooked. We’ve only to look at the sheer amount of people disregarding socialdistancing and flocking to parks or beaches in the good weather. This crisis is not about how you will fare if you fall ill, but about those around you who will have a far more serious experience of it. However a couple of things are important to remember going forward, this virus is allowing us to reflect on the economic

and social conditions of the lessprivileged, the way politicians and corporations can benefit even in times of suffering (we only have to look at the amount of pubs in Dublin that fired all of their staff with one day notice or stayed open against HSE mandates) and how

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Camus’ work shows that something as serious as a virus cannot be seen as merely a minor annoyance to be overlooked.

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Aaron Collier Philosophy Columnist

many elements of our daily lives have and will undergo change. We must be ready and develop a globalised worldview, alternatives that reach all the way to the fundamental things we take for granted can and must be toiled over and theorised into the future. Keep this in mind, even though

it may sound cliche, take one day at a time. Structure can be incredibly helpful, while also balancing it with something impromptu. You don’t need to be constantly “efficient” and “productive” to have a worthwhile day. Appreciate time with your family, if you’re lucky enough to have a good home environment as some people definitely don’t. Speak to your friends often but make sure to fit in time for yourself. I’ve found creative work like drawing or writing while listening to new music as a much needed respite. Maybe try something new. If you’re working on assignments, many publications have been granting free access to their stores of articles and ebooks for the next few months, and don’t be afraid to ask for an extension. Limit your access to the news and social media, but never let yourself become ignorant or blunt your own critical capacity. Now is not the time for unmitigated panic, but for reflection and action. Finally, if you’re feeling slightly abandoned by the world around you right now, turn to the books for inspiration in these trying times and know that we’re all in the same boat of quarantined solace, which in a sense is a sort of distant but connected community.

Pictured Above: ‘Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb’ (1964)

Culture Dublin Band ‘P1g’ to Release Album 10 Years in the Making

Cinematic Beauty: Fusing Cultures On Screen

Art in our Back Garden: UCD’s Sculpture Trail

color theory

~how i’m feeling~

★★★★

Sound Waves

A Written Testimony Jay Electronica

★★★

Soccer Mommy

Nicholas Lane - Music Writer

Matthew Derwin - Music Editor

During this time of turmoil, good news has come in the gift of Jay Electronica’s debut album. Having signed to Roc Nation in 2010, the wordsmith has reserved his polished, poetic penmanship for collaborations and singles. After looking forward to this release for so long, hearing Jay-Z perform on 8 tracks left me with a feeling of pleasant surprise tinged with disappointment. After a decade, we would expect a 10-track project to barely be enough for all a vocal performer has to say, instead, we got a collaboration.

Color Theory follows on the heels of 2018’s Clean, doubling down on Soccer Mommy’s dreamy brand of indie pop while injecting some more flavour. Despite its more melodic nature, the album is still lacking somewhat in substance, and at times ends up feeling like a glorified rehash of the music and themes explored on Clean.

Being a multi-talented musician bolsters your standing in my eyes, so Jay Elec producing six songs on the project, including the highlights “Shiny Suit Theory,” “Universal Soldier,” and “Flux Capacitor”, is fantastic to see. Across the album, Elec frequently references, but refuses to explain, his absence from the music scene. After multiple listens, an appreciation for the artist’s play on absence and space begins to grow - “Familiarity don’t breed gratitude, just contempt.” However, this may not be the artistic direction you want from an entertainer. Despite the opening track’s title, “The Overwhelming Event”, it’s hard not to feel a little underwhelmed on this one.

Frontwoman Sophie Allison’s morose delivery is a staple of her music at this point, yet by the end of the album it becomes slightly grating. Despite the tiresome quality it begins to take on, it does play to her strengths for the majority of the ten songs on the album – a particularly noteworthy example is ‘royal screw up’, a self-flagellating acoustic anthem that begins sparsely and slowly adds instrumentation as it meanders on. ‘yellow is the color of her eyes’ is a standout, clocking in at a lengthy 7 minutes and 15 seconds. Psychedelia-tinged riffs and Allison’s plaintive vocals combine to form a smooth and almost otherworldly tune that finishes with a healthy drenching of heavily distorted guitar noodling. The reverb-soaked stylings found on ‘night swimming’ are also a pleasant switch-up from the album’s norm.

Lauv

Savannah Murray - Music Writer Lauv is an American electro-pop artist who earlier this month released his debut studio album ~how i’m feeling~, a 21-song ensemble that moves between modernity and nostalgia, from sexy to sad, while sitting assuredly in its exploration of loneliness. This album presents us with a variety of unique sounds, one being the kind of music that the word “bop” was invented to describe. This sound relies heavily on the beat, inviting the listener to dance, lest they listen to his lyrics and cry. The upbeat music is what you would expect to hear in YA movies as it dances around Lauv’s loneliness. These are the type of songs that are ripe for choreography, full of attitude and youth. There is a softness to Lauv’s voice as he knits together these bops with his many successful collabs and quieter moments. His gentler songs showcase the strength of his vocals, while also reminding the listener that this isn’t a happy album. Blunt and honest, his lyrics speak for themselves. The stand-out feature of this album is just this - similar to that of the album Future Friends by pop duo Superfruit, Lauv uses powerful pop to reflect on the loneliness that many may not want to admit to.

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Music

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DUBLIN BAND ‘P1G’ TO RELEASE ALBUM 10 YEARS IN THE MAKING Conor Capplis - Editor

usic is nothing without a story, and Tony Cassidy, frontman of the Dublinbased rock band P1g, has a fascinating origin story for the band’s latest album. A mature student studying Music and Philosophy in UCD, Cassidy returned to education to rediscover his musical flair and finally release P1g’s third album. But how did the band get here in the first place? Cassidy met long-time friend and bandmate Marc Aubele in London back in 1993 at university. After years of gigging, the band set themselves the task of recording a studio album. Having moved back to Dublin at the turn of the millennium, the duo assembled a team to record the album with. A couple years pass and in 2004, P1g’s first studio album ‘Hellcat’ was released, followed by ‘Do You Like Smack Rock’ in 2007. These first two studio albums have a kind of alternative grungy feel, paired with the narrative of Dublin’s darker corners. The experimental edge of the group was expanded upon in their 2007 release, with their latest album pushing the boundaries of a relatively unexplored electro-grunge, Dublin rock genre. Recorded back in 2010, the band pumped out their third studio release ‘Unfinished Business.’ Although ready to go, the album was shelved. It’s only now in 2020 that P1g have decided to begin releasing the tracks, building up to a September release date. Cassidy, the main lyricist and singer in P1g, says he has a “fascination with the underbelly of Dublin” and its criminal underworld. Back during the 2000’s, Cassidy had a strong desire to escape the banality and stresses of a boring middleclass life. He began a journey through addiction, of which he admits was an influence for much of his music at the time. Listening to the strong taboos and

dark poems in songs like ‘Sex Worker’ and ‘I Can See Evil’, drags the listener down to Cassidy’s exploration of the chaos and grim reality of Dublin’s underworld. Following years of addiction, Cassidy spent a long time on a remote farm in the Lake District in Cumbria dealing with addiction issues. Now clean for a long time, the P1g frontman has returned to give music another shot. He says coming to UCD “expanded my whole confidence as a person,” going on to say that life post-addiction “is no longer subjective” and he now wants to write about philosophical and political topics. Cassidy concludes, “Addiction is sad and boring. It robs you of any real experience and stops you from competing.” Unfinished Business serves as the muchawaited conclusion to the first trilogy of P1g albums. ‘A Drink with Jesus’ experiments with autotune, an effect that sounds surprisingly current due to the effect’s resurgence in music almost a decade on. As well as dipping their toes in new areas, P1g also revert back

to their loud, grunge roots with tracks such as ‘Black Hole Baby.’ The band are also working at developing an opera, based on a novella written by Cassidy himself. Currently called is ‘Late nights with Nikki’, it chronicles the experiences of a middle-class man in Cavan town. A large pool of musicians contributed to the most recent album Unfinished Business. Rory Doyle from Hozier played drums on the title track. Podge from Republic of Loose played bass. The regular bass player is Dublin chick, Keeley Moss and the drummer is vintage funfair owner, Trevor Cullen. Marc Aubele engineered and played guitar and keyboards. All vocals are sung by lyricist Tony Cassidy. Highlights in the band’s career were a New York appearance at the Lit Lounge in Manhattan, the Black Box in Belfast and Willesden Working Men’s Club. P1g have also appeared regularly at the Sugar Club and Anseo on Camden Street, Dublin.

Cabin Fever Crooning Matthew Derwin - Music Editor If you’re trapped in the house and are starting to get tired of your heavy rotation, this carefully crafted selection of albums is a change of pace that’ll fit you for everything from casual listens, deep introspection or even just a bit of background noise.

Mort Garson – Plantasia

Envisioned specifically as an album that was designed to be played to plants and aid in their growth, Plantasia is calming like nothing else I’ve heard before, even though I’m the opposite of photosynthetic. There’s something genuinely comforting about its lilting synths and ethereal brass sections. Excellent to stick on if you’re trying to study, or if you’re attempting to desperately save those succulents you forgot about 3 months ago that look like they’ve survived through multiple world wars by now.

Hildur Guðnadóttir – Saman

More widely known for her work on the score of Chernobyl and Joker, Guðnadóttir’s impressive vocal range and musical talent makes Saman an astounding listen. Its sparse nature works to its advantage, and simply tuning out to let its beautiful arrangements wash over you is an experience that’s equally as rewarding as paying attention to every little detail found in its rising orchestral swells. It’s best experienced with a solid sound system.

Oneohtrix Point Never – Replica

What’s Fresh Matthew Derwin - Music Editor

iagra Boys’ latest EP, Common Sense, marks a departure, or perhaps a turning point for the Stockholm-based punk rockers. Known for their ridiculous moniker, equally ridiculous lyricism and heavily tattooed frontman, Sebastian Murphy, their latest effort shows that they’re readily willing and able to climb outside the confines of the genre. It manages to exhibit drastically different shifts in pace between its 4 songs without ever sounding gimmicky or contrived. ‘Lick the Bag’ is the closest thing to the style they exhibited on previous album

Common Sense by Viagra Boys

★★★★★ Street Worms – it’s an entirely raucous affair, driven along at a constant pace by discordant chords and Murphy’s husky drawl. Elephantine hoots from their signature trumpet give the impression of the song going wildly out of control before being wrestled back into place by the bandmembers. ‘Blue’ is an unexpected ballad, where Murphy’s vocals take on a completely different affectation as he howls about a long-forgotten lover. The EP’s 14 minute runtime is more than enough to showcase the exciting new direction they’re taking with their sound – despite its length, its entirely moreish, and a tantalising glimpse of what’s to come.

Based heavily around samples that were ripped from old TV advertisements, Replica is arguably the magnum opus of Daniel Lopatin, better known as Oneohtrix Point Never. It’s a constantly shifting soundscape that manages to evoke emotion from across the whole spectrum of human feeling – it can be anxiety-inducing, soothing and genuinely uplifting all over the course of ten minutes.

Arca – Arca

Alejandra Ghersi’s self-titled is difficult to describe in words. It’s boldly experimental, challenging and difficult to listen to without feeling your hairs raise on end at least once. It can be simultaneously brutal and tender, awe-inspiring and disturbing. Her wavering vocals effortlessly shift from deep baritone to tenor - haunting electronics collapse and give way to heart-ripping stories of lost love before reforming even harder than they were before.

Film & TV

Film & TV News

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Volume 33 - Issue 09

Film Review: Emma

Danielle DerGarabedian Film & TV Writer

movie theaters have followed suit. So, if you were looking forward to the releases of MCU’s Black Widow or the newest James Bond film, No Time to Die, you may have to wait a bit longer. Black Widow set to be released on May 1, 2020 has been postponed with no new release date set. No Time to Die was set to be released in April 2020 but is now delayed until November 25th.

Pictured Above: Anya Taylor-Joy and Johnny Flynn for Vogue Magazine

★★★★

Gemma Farrell - Film & TV Writer

utumn de Wilde’s vision of Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’ is everything one could expect from an adaptation of the classic novel - it’s overstated, witty and incredibly charming. However, setting it apart from the many adaptations of the novel it succeeds, it has a certain boldness, irony and above all, a kind of quirky sexiness which propels the film into a modern sphere. The story begins, as it always has with ‘Emma’, who is (eternally) “handsome, clever and rich’’. Emma Woodhouse, now portrayed by Anya Taylor-Joy, during her adolescence, developed a keen eye for relationships and fancies herself as an able match-maker. Her self-confident and controlling nature leads her to act as cupid on several occasions, sometimes successfully, and other times, not so successfully. Much to the disappointment of her old friend Mr Knightley, Emma takes her meddling too far, making poor decisions fuelled by her hubris. Eventually she hurts others, including her new friend and ‘pet’ Harriet Smith. Despite this, as the story goes, lessons are learned and all’s well that ends well, as Emma unites with her devoted Mr Knightley, and it appears everyone in Highbury lives happily ever after. While this adaptation never strays too far from the novel’s original plot - nor would it want to - Autumn de Wilde refreshes the tale, which was first penned over 200 years ago. Among other things, the vibrant pastel colours which dominate almost every scene in the picture bring a youthful, almost child-

like vision of early 19th Century England. Unlike the more muted tones of previous adaptations, it seems a conscious decision to step away from the realistic, and towards the whimsical. Some subtle changes seem to be conscious on de Wilde’s behalf. In comparison with Gwenyth Paltrow or Ramola Garai’s ‘Emma’, Taylor-Joy can boast to have arguably the tightest ringlet curls possible to achieve. This adds both to the subtle air of tension and control in the film, but also to the ridiculousness which is carried throughout. This ridiculousness is equally personified in the characters Mr Elton (played by The Crown’s Josh O’Connor) and Mrs Bates

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Taylor-Joy herself, despite being the same age as Paltrow when she portrayed Emma in 1996, exudes a certain kind of childishness hidden behind a sometimes jarring attitude and high self-regard.

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The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has shaken the world to its core and the world of television and film is no different as events are cancelled, celebrities face the brunt of the virus themselves and movies see their release dates postponed and moved to later in the year. One of the largest film festivals in the world, Cannes Festival, has been running for 73 years, but the 2020 event set to occur in mid-May, was postponed until later in the summer. The Daytime Emmys originally set to occur in June, is entirely canceled. The NATAS chairman, Terry O’Reilly, expressed the reasoning behind was because of the daily change of information that has resulted in an unpredictability about the future. On March 12th via Twitter, Tom Hanks was the first high profile celebrity to announce that he had caught coronavirus along with his wife while in Australia. As of March 21st Hanks has stated that he and his wife are slowly recovering on course for healthy adults. This was followed by Idris Elba who, on March 16th announced that he had contracted coronavirus, but did not currently feel any symptoms. Lost actor Daniel Dae Kim has also contracted the virus and took the initiative to publicly call out racist comments resulting from the spread of COVID-19, in particular it being described as the “Chinese Virus”. As the world practices social distancing and public venues close,

(Miranda Hart). They over-exaggerate and over-excite; re-creating the comically absurd characters so expertly written by Austen. Taylor-Joy herself, despite being the same age as Paltrow when she portrayed Emma in 1996, exudes a certain kind of childishness hidden behind a sometimes jarring attitude and high self-regard. This comical childishness is even more powerfully portrayed by Mia Goth as Harriet Smith.

Her babyface and perfect pout, coupled with glimpses of blank expressions and sudden mood swings cannot help but make anyone roll their eyes, but with a certain and unwavering endearment. In addition to this, the film’s unashamedly deliberate sexualisation becomes one of its most striking and laudible aspects. Within the first few scenes, we witness Johnny Flynn’s Mr Knightly being undressed before pausing to take in his completely naked body from head to toe. This undoubtedly suspends any possible preconceived ideas of prudishness or lack of intimacy. Being presented with something so private, so deliberately and early-on, sets the tone for the bare and unashamed nature of the whole film. In a similar scene later, Emma can be seen dressing in the many restricting clothing items that define the period’s fashion. Surprisingly, she is later depicted lifting her skirt up above the top of her thighs and sighing, revealing much more than would have ever been contemplated revealing to an audience at the time. Throughout the film the banquets are laden with aphrodisiac foodstuffs. In another scene, Harriet is carried into Highbury after being attacked while walking, her pants and screams deliberately sounding less like those of terror and more like those of an orgasm. With so many adaptations of ‘Emma’, it would be pointless to make one which followed the novel minutely and with complete authenticy. Autumn de Wilde instead creates a more daring, deliciously sexual and visually pleasing new vision of ‘Emma’, at once paying tribute to the novel’s fundamental brilliance but also highlighting its possibility in a modern age.

Volume 33 - Issue 09

01.04.2020

Film & TV

COLLEGE TRIBUNE

Netflix Recommendations Lovesick Series

★★★★

Lovesick (4 stars): In Lovesick (amusingly formerly titled Scrotal Recall) the show’s protagonist Dylan learns in the opening minutes of the pilot that he has contracted chlamydia. Dylan decides to personally call each of his former lovers to warn them. Being the hopeless romantic that he is, Dylan sees this as an opportunity to reconsider all his past romantic relationships. Typically, each episode will have a flashback to pivotal moments in Dylan’s life. I find it amusing to explain the premise of this series to people but I feel it is important to note that this series is much less crude than you might expect from simply its premise, although it is still undeniably hilarious. I really love this series because of how comforting and sweet it is. I think anyone who watches this show will develop a close attachment with all the characters, particularly the main trio of Dylan, Luke and Evie.

Jack O’Grady - Film & TV Writer

lawed but magnificent - Scorsese’s sprawling epic escapes the pitfalls of perfection to be something much greater. This dark, fascinating exploration of civilisation dives into the cesspit of 1860s New York as tribal gangs vie for supremacy. Daniel Day-Lewis delivers a remarkable performance as Bill the Butcher, a violent and psychopathic villain of Shakespearean proportions. Day-Lewis cuts a truly menacing figure as the “Native American” gang leader virulently opposed to Irish immigration. Yet, perhaps even more horrifying is that his brutality is tempered with frequent xenophobic monologues. Scorsese’s spectacle is as provocative as it is entertaining. ‘Gangs of New York’ shines best, in highlighting society’s ancient tribal instincts. As crowded masses claw for survival in a milieu of destitution, cruelty and corruption, they are unified by ethnic groupings. Religion fails to unify and make peace. Instead, a toxic mix of racial and cultural hostility is fostered as rival factions jostle for political influence and dominance. ‘Gangs’ reveals a greater truth: that the old enemies of bigotry, intolerance, and resentment are deeply embedded in society. They are perpetual blemishes that humanity has yet to overcome. An assessment that

Brigid Molloy Film & TV Editor

Goodfellas

Cable Girls

Lady Bird

★★★★

This is an esteemed gangster classic - only The Godfather is a more renowned film of this genre. Henry Hill, played by Ray Liotta, is enamoured with the Mafia almost from birth and soon into his youth he begins to work for them. The film follows the decades he spends involved in the Mafia alongside putrid and sly characters played by Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci. If I could summarise this film in one word it would be: crazy. Following the lives of gangsters who show absolutely no remorse for the malicious things they do is a bewildering experience. No character acts as the voice of reason and Scorsese ensures that it is hard to sympathise with anyone on screen. This film might seem like an obvious choice but for someone (like me) who typically leans more towards comedies or domestic dramas, this was a welcome surprise. Goodfellas is really as good as everyone says.

Four women are newly employed to Spain’s first national telecommunications company in Madrid. Set in 1928, the series highlights the inequalities Spanish women faced at the time and how they strived to remedy this. In addition, there is plenty of drama to go around. The four main female characters keep many secrets and lies to themselves that inevitably boil up to the surface. It is this aspect of the show that has prompted

Film

Series

me to give this show only a three star rating because I do find it too melodramatic at times. But I would still recommend this show because of how thrilling it is. Also I enjoy its unapologetic feminism and its representation of LGBT characters. This inclusion is radical in a period series such as this. Subliminally, it is asserted that people who fall into the LBGT category have always existed, this is not some new phenomenon.

FILM RETROSPECTIVE What we can learn from ‘Gangs of New York’

Film

A slice of life film about a restless, precarious teenager played impeccably by Saoirse Ronan. Ronan’s Lady Bird makes it her goal to separate herself from her peers

with her dyed pink hair and by fashioning a new name for herself. She is determined to leave her small hometown and go to university on the east side, much to her mother’s discontent. There is much to love about this film because it is so easy to relate to. Lady Bird’s outbursts towards her mother are cringe inducing but I would imagine many viewers have been in that position as a teen. Her pursuits after boys are unsuccessful; the relationships that are actually lasting for her (and are most compelling for the viewer) are with her best friend Julie and her mother. I would highly recommend giving this a watch in case you missed it when it had an awards buzz a few years ago. remains relevant 18 years after the film’s release and 150 years after the reign of Bill the Butcher. Scorsese examines an interesting period in history and offers a narrative of historical change to explain how modern civilisation emerged from savage brutality. Bill’s amorality served as an essential phase in the development of civilisation; his strength and determination drew people together, but the violence and racism by which he achieved this unity eventually led to a desire for law and order. Modern civilisation may now enjoy the niceties of morality and social justice. Scorsese reminds us of the violence that lies underneath the surface of this civil society and the ruthlessness with which it was built. This is not the usual jubilant tale of rectitude and enlightenment that is typically depicted in blockbuster pictures. The evident brutality and racism, combined with the general indifference of the upper classes toward lower class suffering, portrays America as an unprincipled society. The parable of ‘Gangs of New York’ is how ultimately self-defeating xenophobia really is, especially in a society moving, however slowly, toward inclusion. The ubiquity of violence and cruelty illustrate how much civilisation has changed in a century and a half. Contrastingly, the animosity and bigotry remind us that society has scarcely progressed at all.

Arts & Lifestyle

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01.04.2020

Volume 33 - Issue 09

Cinematic Beauty: Fusing Cultures On Screen Paurush Kumar - Arts & Lifestyle Writer

CD has always been a pioneer in arts and culture. We have an extensive variety of activities which take place due to the large diversity of students the college hosts every year. Student societies ensure that nobody misses home. Personally, culturally rooted events like UCD Indian Society’s Diwali or UCD Malaysian Society’s M-Night bring back memories and the feeling of home in a foreign land. A popular event on campus is M-Night, hosted annually by UCD Malaysian Society. During M-Night, we see a beautiful amalgamation of an emotional and tearjerking theatrical performance followed

by culturally oriented dance performances by students. One of the most remarkable features of M-Night is the diversity of its cast and the artistic impact its performances (acting and dancing) leave in the minds of the audience. Truly, the cultural diversity of its cast mirrors the broader diversity seen in UCD’s student body. Performances like these which fuse cultural diversity and with performance, overall promote collaboration. A similar take is seen in cinema. The fusion of art in cinema is essential in today’s world because it lends itself to various different cultures, which in turn are able to incorporate such artistic elements into their own cinematography. Movies like Slumdog Millionaire (2009) opened doors to creativity between Hollywood and Bollywood

such that the film won an Oscar that year. Moreover, one of the earliest movies like Bend It Like Beckham, among others, depict the importance and the betterment cinema can bring about in people. Hence, there has always been an importance of visual appeal in cinema. To quote a good example, Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel had a striking set design which added significant visual beauty and thus made for a fulfilling theatre going experience. Similarly, in India, director Sanjay Leela Bhansali has always had an upper hand in set decoration which made for an awe-inspiring cinematic spectacle and even lifted an average movie, suggesting the importance of art (e.g. through set design) in cinema.

These days, fusion art is a popular trend. It’s essentially the mingling of 2 different art forms as evident in films like 100 Foot Journey, which was about mingling American and Indian art forms and decorations. The Farewell, a recent movie, is an example of this is as American and Chinese ethnic elements were blended. The blending matched so well that the trend for such a merger quickened soon after this movie was released worldwide. If we were to extend these ideas to the student context, the idea of fusion art could lie in a collaboration between different cultural events or festivals. If cinema can bring about such an impact, perhaps even contrasting cultures will not feel so foreign anymore.

Pictured Above: Tony Revolori and Saoirse Ronan in The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Discovering My Working-Class Voice: On Accents In Poetry

hen we think of the arts, we may think of the privileged, of those who can afford failure. This is the reality that working class children grow up with – while you might aspire to be a writer, realistically, bills need to be paid. Even if you can ignore the piles of bills gesticulating at you, the stories that working class people are allowed to tell are of a certain type. It can be difficult to find somebody that represents your voice in art as it is, but even more so when it is a voice that you’re told is inherently unworthy. The working-class story should exist as more than a giggle or a gunshot wound, but often doesn’t. My perspective shifted once I walked into the spoken word tent at Electric Picnic to hear Colm Keegan’s poem ‘This Voice’. It was art. It was poetry. He spoke with the accent that society had taught me to hate. “This voice became something to be

judged, the sound of the scanger, the scummer. This voice once tried but couldn’t rise above those titles, internalised the tribal jibes that might bounce off a thicker skin.” –

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“This voice became something to be judged, the sound of the scanger, the scummer. This voice once tried but couldn’t rise above those titles, internalised the tribal jibes that might bounce off a thicker skin.” - Colm Keegan, ‘This Voice’.

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Savannah Murray - Arts & Lifestyle Writer

Colm Keegan, ‘This Voice’. This was the voice that came from where I came from and carried with it the hearts of those I loved. The poem worked to unravel

years of notions about what art was and who had agency to it. It was self-reflective. It knew what it was doing in that tent that day. It knew that it had that power to change minds. “This voice hopes to make a difference.” – Colm Keegan, This Voice. And it did. Emmet Kirwan’s play ‘Dublin Oldschool’ gifts this same representation of the accent that shall not be named to the big screen. Kirwan envelopes his voice in subtle beauty that doesn’t ignore the systemic problems that people from working class backgrounds face, but rather gives them a chance to be heard. It can be easy to typecast people when we meet them on the street as the fella who does drugs, or maybe the poetic lad with a way with words. Kirwan’s character transcends these barriers, because he is allowed to be the guy with that accent, the guy who is caught up in a drug culture but also the guy who has this innate ability to put beautiful words to complicated experiences. He has that accent you’re told is ugly, but doesn’t he speak beautifully?

His narration speaks for itself, illuminating the reality of Dublin in this delicately gorgeous and equally visceral way that points to the fact that if we’re trying to look at the experiences of working class people, maybe it would be a good idea to listen to them. As somebody from a workingclass background, it was through art that I realised that the accent I was taught to hate had the ability to be intelligent, beautiful, but most importantly, necessary. “So make sure when you tell your story, you lived it like it was a novella version of a war and peace style work of Dublin fiction… epic in small ways.” – Emmet Kirwan (Dublin Oldschool)

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01.04.2020

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Arts & Lifestyle

Art in our Back Garden UCD’s Sculpture Trail

Pitt Bros ★★★★ George’s Street, Dublin

€€

Alex Lohier - Deputy Editor

Pictured Above: Bust of James Joyce (1982) by Joe McCaul

rom Wind and Water at the Upper Lake to the Tremor in O’Brien Centre for Science, we’ve all walked past them but never paid them any heed, other than snapping their photos when we first arrived at UCD as freshers to tell everyone we had made it here. The sculptures that are dotted around campus are part of a carefully curated network of artistic installations called the UCD Sculpture Trail. This was originally developed by Ms Ruth Ferguson, Curator of UCD Newman House, and Dr Paula Murphy, UCD College of Art History and Cultural Policy. The sculptures are the works of various locally and internationally renowned artists, such as Paddy Campbell (Wind and Water), Carolyn Mulholland (Tremor) and Jill Pitko (Joie de Vivre, outside UCD Sports Centre). An informative brochure and interactive

Judgement (2013) by Rowan Gillespie

map of all the sculptures is available on UCD Digital Library’s website. All sculptures have been photographed by Vincent Hoban. Currently, UCD Digital Library has updated their collection of Hoban’s photographs, adding shots of Chroma (in O’Brien Centre for Science) and Bowl Piece

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The sculptures that are dotted around campus are part of a carefully curated network of artistic installations called the UCD Sculpture Trail.

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Mallika Venkatramani Arts & Lifestyle Editor

(Newman Building) to name a few. There are over 200 multidimensional photographs in total of all sculptures available for viewing. Now, UCD Digital Library’s collection comprises of photographic documentations of sculptures that are not only present today

Joie de vivre (2012) by Jill Pitko

on campus, but also of those that were around previously but not any longer. A sculpture that would come to your mind quickly is Judgement, right outside the entrance of UCD Sutherland School of Law, of 2 men engaged in a deep conversation. Judgement is made out of bronze by Rowan Gillespie, a highly successful Irish sculptor, known especially for his figures dedicated to the people who were forced to emigrate during the Great Famine of the 19th century at the Liffey Quays. Judgement, made in 1991, represents an intellectual conversation on the Iraq War between two men. As with any piece of artwork, each of these sculptures has its own story to tell and is worth delving into. A wealth of information on all the sculptures is available on UCD Digital Library’s website and online brochure. Given the campus closure due to the COVID-19 outbreak, the expansion of a digital collection of the sculptures is indeed timely - just stay at your gaff and view the sculptures on your laptop!

Rendezvous (2008) by Bob Quinn

George’s Street makes yet another appearance in the College Tribune food column, this week in the form of Pitt Bros BBQ. As the name suggests, this casual eatery caters to the tastebuds of people looking for some smoky, meaty goodness. Their menu features sublime cuts of meat, slowly and lovingly smoked over a wood fire for up to 12 hours. Pair it with a cold beer and some rays of sun, that’s a match made in heaven. Bar the Fallafel Bun burger, there’s no faffing here in regards to accommodating non-meat eaters. Pitt Bros is unashamedly (rightly so) proud of their quality, locally butchered Irish meats. This passion shines through in the taste of each dish. I had the Pitt Bros Original Ribs and, well, despite the huge portion, I had no qualms with finishing the whole rack. We went as a large group, and I had a taste of what the others got. The pulled pork and half chicken are great, as are the mac and cheese, fries and burnt end beans sides. Don’t go for the bone marrow mash or slaw; both are mediocre at best and pale in comparison to the aforementioned.

Pitt Bros also have a self-serve icecream machine for dessert. As if that’s not cool enough; it’s completely free. It’s hard to beat the taste, and more specifically the enjoyment, of a cold 99 after a barbecue. The team is extremely accommodating, which should not be overlooked; I went with a group of 14 people, and they bent over backwards to seat us together and ensure our food came out at the same time. As Dublin’s self-proclaimed ‘’first BBQ joint’’, Pitt Bros has a heritage to live up to. Fortunately, in my humble opinion, Pitt Bros lives up to its reputation. All in all, I’d highly recommend a visit to this place; good food, great beers and a chill atmosphere make for a great experience all round. My only critique would be the lack of an outdoor area, which would really make this the perfect place for a quiet get-together, but hey, in Dublin that might be too much to ask for.

Sport

UCD Athletic Union Council Speaks out on COVID-19 Sports Suspension Conor Capplis - Editor

ince 9am on March 13th, all UCD Clubs and Society activities have been suspended in an effort to slow the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic. Sports activities have been suspended until at least April 19th, and with the rate of infections continuing to rise, it seems like sports in Belfield won’t return for a long time. All sports clubs on campus are governed by the UCD Athletic Union Council

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Sports activities have been suspended until at least April 19th, and with the rate of infections continuing to rise, it seems like sports in Belfield won’t return for a long time.

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Sports clubs, like all members of society, have a role to play in defeating the spread of this pandemic.” Bailey said that all coaching staff employed by UCD clubs will have their contracts honoured and paid in full until the end of Trimester 2, “irrespective of whether activity resumes or not.” The spokesperson also announced that “the AUC is actively planning for the resumption of club activity.” However, Bailey advised that “the resumption of activity is very much contingent on

the government restrictions being lifted, the University facilities being open for business and the national governing bodies of the

sports permitting the clubs to recommence activity.” She also went on to explain that as many clubs operate through the sum-

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All coaching staff employed by UCD clubs will have their contracts honoured and paid in full until the end of Trimester 2, “irrespective of whether activity resumes or not.”

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(AUC). Executive Secretary and Sports Development Manager Suzanne Bailey sent us a statement as to what the AUC are doing to mitigate the current situation and plan for the future amid the current health crisis. “While it is difficult for those who have trained, played, coached and administered to the best of their ability over the past academic year to comprehend that club activity is suspended,” Bailey stated, “the safety and well-being of the club members, coaches, opponents and public is of paramount importance at this time.

mer months, any planned activities or competitions will resume as planned once the government restrictions are lifted. Wednesday night training during the summer months will also recommence once restrictions are lifted. She continued by encouraging inter-club communication, saying “clubs have been advised to hold any discussions or meetings online and not face to face.” “Plans are already at an advanced stage for Semester 1 2020/21 in terms of normal

AUC and club operations,” explained Bailey, going on to hint at the publication of the AUC’s new strategic plan shortly. It remains unclear as to when sports activities will return to Belfield, yet the AUC have made it loud and clear that when government restrictions are lifted, students will be back playing for UCD Clubs in no time at all.

Volume 33 - Issue 09

01.04.2020

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BOOM HEADSHOT: Shooting Club Rises from Dormancy

Adam Goodwin UCD Target Shooting Club

have more than tripled our membership count. We are very excited for this opportunity, and for everything will be able to accomplish with a proper base of members. With regard to that, one of our key goals for next year is to run more and larger events. We’ve ran a few this year, and there certainly have been some highlights, such as the “Shoot-in” before the Trimester 1 exams, which was an excellent

next year, we plan to develop the social and competitive aspects of the club, fostering a sense of community and competition within the members. There should be a club ladder running soon, with regular updates to the standings. We are planning to form a competitive team to compete in Irish target shooting competitions. Finally, of course, we are planning on training new members come next September

The “Shoot-in” before the Trimester 1 exams, which was an excellent break from the studying and the stress. After a showdown between two teams in the final, everyone retired to the Clubhouse for pizza and prizes. Well worth the low cost of €5 for an evenings fun and food.

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It is open to all students, faculty, staff, and alumni of UCD. The club has recently restarted after a multi-year break. Our goal has been to rebuild the base of the club

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ucked away behind the Sports Centre, underneath the old boiling chambers that used to heat the Belfield campus, is a 10 metre target shooting range, home of the UCD Target Shooting Club. Since its foundation in 1989, the club has maintained a fully student run range on campus.

The club has recently restarted after a multiyear break. Our goal has been to rebuild the base of the club through introducing newcomers to the sport of target shooting, and training them fully.

Sport

through introducing newcomers to the sport of target shooting, and training them fully. Training is run by the trained volunteers of the club, and can be completed within three, one hour long, training sessions. The club instructors and range officers are qualified by the National Small-bore Rifle As-

sociation, the UK governing body for all Small-bore Rifle and Pistol Target Shooting. We have been very successful in our goal. In the 2018/19 academic year, the club was able to take a group of mainly inexperienced but interested students (myself included) and train them fully from new shooters to

being able to safely instruct groups of new shooters and being able to safely conduct a range. From that group of trained volunteers we have been able to expand our membership this year, and

break from the studying and the stress. It was two games, the first based on your accuracy at shooting, then another where you worked with a teammate to score in tandem. After a showdown between two teams in the final, everyone retired to the Clubhouse for pizza and prizes. Well worth the low cost of €5 for an evenings fun and food. Unfortunately, our events this semester have been cut short by the closure of campus and thus the range at UCD. For the

so that they too can experience the wonderful sport of target shooting. If any of this sounds good to you, please do check us out during Freshers Week. We’re always looking for new members and no experience is necessary to start. If you have any questions, just email targetshooting@ ucd.ie and we will get right back to you!

Trib THE

ISSUE 09

April 1st 2020

RTÉ’S NEW GAMESHOW:

SPACE, OR JUST A SMALL CAR? By Shane Clune As part of RTÉs survival plan, the national broadcaster has announced several new programs that it hopes will help it connect to the Irish public and drive advertising revenue. The most hotly awaited amongst the announced programs, is a new game show called “Parking Space, or Just a Small Car?”. Hosted by Ray Darcy, this show will see guests drive into a car park somewhere in Ireland (as part of a decentralisation initiative, the car parks will be located throughout Ireland in a bid to promote tourism and industry in the regions outside the Greater Dublin Area). With Ray in the passenger seat, the contestant

will drive slowly towards what looks like an open space, and have to decide if it is in fact a free parking space, or instead, a parking space with a small car that they can’t see currently occupying it. If the contestant can guess right, they will progress to the next round. It is expected that there will be 24 rounds, culminating in a grand final in a car park in Los Angeles. Having seen preliminary episodes, critics are absolutely raving about the show. “It’s never been done before, its an entirely new concept,’’ remarked the Tribune’s film critic Séan O’Masey. “We all thought RTÉ was past it, unable to come up with riveting new shows. But launching this program, and including the dynamic presenter Ray D’Arcy as a masterstroke, is sure to keep audiences engaged and RTÉ relevant for decades!” Parking Space, or Just a Small Car is set to hit your screens this May.

YOUR AMERICAN FRIEND STUDENT SPENDS RECORD JUSTIFIES INVASION OF YOUR PERSONAL SPACE BY CLAIMING

BREAKING 3 WEEKS YOU’RE BUILDING A NUKE STARING AT BLANK PAGE By Dugh Hooley Shock rang out across your immediate friend group when your American friend, Chuck Manning, invaded your personal space when you were out with the lads. The American national moved swiftly into your personal territory last Tuesday, utilising modern military techniques such as standing that little bit too close and

rubbing your shoulders for literally no reason at all. Chuck also asked whether you had hit the gym recently while squeezing your biceps. The American immediately took to social media to issue a statement on the invasion. He cited the rising threat that your recent uranium enrichment project has on peace in the local. While independent observers, the lad that tried to “bum a shmoke”, hasn’t seen any evidence of weap-

ons of mass destruction, your American mate seems unaffected by this advancement. A spokesperson for Chuck has denied claims that the invasion may have been motivated by your oily hair instead of humanitarian concerns. “While it has come to our attention that the alleged victim is in possession of a broken shower and finding difficulty in removing an amount of oil, our presence in their personal space is purely out of concern for the region. #altruism #waittheyhaveoil?”. Chuck is alleged to have posted some footage of the incident to his Instagram page with the caption ‘Throwback to me and the boys in Iraq, S u m m e r of 2003.’ Chuck’s press department have not responded to requests for comment from the Turbine.

By Dugh Hooley

When Barry O’Donnell sat down in mid-March to write his latest assignment, few could have imagined that he would make absolutely no progress in the next 3 weeks. In a feat of near unimaginable procrastination, O’Donnell managed to watch all 8 seasons of Game of Thrones before even starting to feel guilty about his total lack of progress. At the start of each ‘study’ session, the Turbine can report that O’Loughlin promised himself that “this time would be better; it is a new day, new me...right?” As days became weeks however it became obvious that ‘this time’ was not better. The UCD student has revealed exclusively to the Turbine that it took him eight days to build up the courage to open a Word Document. The Turbine spoke to Barry’s mother, Jennifer O’Donnell, who informed our field reporter “sure he did that essay weeks ago, that’s old news... right?” Mrs. O’Donnell then marched swiftly upstairs

and banged on his bedroom door. Shouting was reported to continue until Barry was seen to be “knuckling down” once again. As the deadline slowly approached, many students would have eventually resorted to writing a few pages filled with drivel and paragraphs stolen from Wikipedia but not Barry O’Donnell. In a move described as “brave” and “in-

cles about how to stop procrastinating while colouring in the front of a hardback. Sources close to the story suggest that O’Donnell may still be in his room, doing nothing yet complaining about how he is “snowed under by the work” on Instagram. A recent analysis of social media usage showed a 200% rise in scrolling aimlessly through user’s feeds leading up to and during

spiring” by fellow students, O’Donnell completely ignored the passive aggressive emails from lecturers and the 14 Post-it pad reminders attached to his laptop. Instead, O’Donnell is alleged to have read 7 arti-

exam season. This may suggest that brave behaviour similar to O’Donnell’s may be going unnoticed in bedrooms across Ireland.