Love Languages and Self Love

Love Languages: A Guide To Loving Yourself Better.

When we think of love languages, we think of how they can be useful in gaining insight into our relationships. But in this simple guide, I’m going to introduce some fun ways you can practice using your love languages to prioritize yourself and your needs. by Gabriella Herran

Quality Time

Try:

1. Spending time doing things you enjoy or being with people you love. 2. Yoga 3. Reading 4. Making a jar of fun date ideas you can do with your significant other 5. Crafting with friends!

Acts of Service

Try:

1. Doing things for yourself that make you feel good or make life a little easier. 2. Cleaning! 3. Organizing your space 4. Scheduling your calendar 5. Putting your planner together with fun stickers and color coding!

Physical Touch

Try:

1. Things that make your body feel good and focus on your physical well being. 2. Spa days! 3. Trying out a new skin care routine 4. Taking relaxing baths or long showers 5. Massages!

Receiving Gifts

Try:

1. Investing in yourself. 2. RETAIL THERAPY. 3. New year, new hair? 4. Treat yo self! 5. Have a self care day

Words of Affirmation

Try:

1. Uplifting pep talks and encouraging words 2. Positive self-talk 3. Daily Affirmations 4. Journaling 5. Meditation

alentine’s day is an unofficial holiday according to the internet and social media that is celebrated on February 13, one day before Valentine’s Day.

This day is all about highlighting self-love and the special female friendships that are in your life. Galentine’s Day, or “ladies celebrating ladies’ day,” is a great opportunity to thank the support your close gals have given you throughout the year by doing activities that you all enjoy. The strong female connections you have in your life can be found in your immediate families like your mother or sister. It can be your best friend from school or even a close supportive co-worker. The female friendships that we all rely on should be celebrated each year as they comfort us daily and help us grow into the strong females we aspire to be.

The special Galentine’s Day tradition was first originated in 2010 by the popular TV show “Parks and Recreation.” The episode showcased female friendships and how it’s essential to acknowledge the impact women have on other women and how they make up our support systems.

The word “Galentine’s” was quickly shared through memes on social media. Since then, many have taken to several social platforms, especially Instagram and Twitter, to share pictures or videos of their closest gals celebrating together.

The unofficial holiday has also become profitable for some companies who offer special deals on spa days, manicures and pedicures, or even discounts on your favorite restaurants to hang out with your girls which is very similar to Valentine’s Day couple specials.

One of the best ways to celebrate Galentine’s Day is to reach out to your friends and check in on them. After the tough year everyone had in 2020, this day can be a great opportunity to see how their lives are going and if they need someone to lean on. February could also be a sensitive subject for our girls who may be single for the first time on Valentine’s day, so it is a good time to show your gals that you appreciate them and that you can still celebrate with each other. Having an open communication channel with the ones you care about is important. A call can be a small and simple way to express just how much they mean to you. Celebrate and make sure to learn about each other in the process.

We hope your Galentine’s Day is very enjoyable and if you need some ideas on what to do then check out the options to celebrate to the right!

1. A FaceTime/

Call to your best Gals can help you check up on them and tell them how special they are to you.

2.Send your best friends a thoughtful gift. You know your girls more than anyone.

Brainstorm things they like and put a care package together with their favorite snacks, selfcare products, or makeup.

3. Flowers are always a great way to express your appreciation.

You can buy a bouquet of flowers or make one yourself. A fun activity could be making small and simple arrangements for each other’s 4.A homemade card is always a simple and yet fun way to send your close girl’s positive wishes.

Writing positive affirmations or even a cute little poem can be meaningful to your best friend.

5. Movie night!

Pick your favorite movies and watch them with some delicious popcorn. You can safely pick a theater that is open near you or watch any episodes/ movies on your favorite online streaming platforms.

6.Pick some of your favorite pictures and showcase them on social media to highlight that special female who has been there for you. Show off your girlfriends.!

7. Self-care is a great way to bond with your girls.

Try out new products together in the comfort of your own homes while taking time to recharge and relax.!

8.You can grab some coffee at your favorite spot or make some hot chocolate at home and get comfy. Catch up with one another and chat with your best gals about life.

9. Go shopping!

Whether you are able to go in a small group and shop in person or if you’d rather get the girls and shop online.

Shopping is way more fun with your girlies.

10.Indulge in some delicious food like pizza or even have your bestie come over and cook a meal together. This can be a great way for the gals to work together and enjoy each other’s company for a good amount of time.

11.Go on a bike ride around the neighborhood, visit a park, or go hiking with your pals. This can be a great way to get outdoors and be one with nature.

By making people consistently feel as though they are not enough, businesses have been able to profit off of people’s insecurities for as long as humanity’s

history extends.

As a young woman, I am surrounded by social media, magazines, and advertisements telling me and my peers how we should be looking,

eating, and dressing. Society is constantly bombarded with social media advertisements for jaw exercises, slim tea, fake tans and teeth, and skin-brightening masks.

Youtube challenges tell us we can get a slim waist and big booty in under two weeks and how to style ourselves “based on our body types.” Filters show us what we would look like if our “flaws” were “fixed.”

I am not someone who has had to face the brunt of the negativity and pain due to the color of my skin, gender, age, or weight. I am not the person to be at the forefront of the body positivity movement because there is no way for me to know the breadth of it. However, if what I and others have experienced helps another feel slightly less alone, then the sharing of our stories can only help the movement.

These winds of exposure to society’s pressures easily swept me into a storm of self-hatred several times in my life. I frantically googled one diet after another and saved images of bodies I aspired to look like. I downloaded apps to count my calories and time my fasts. Starving myself for hours a day while I drank black coffee to stay awake during classes. However, while my eating habits consumed me, guilt rocked me to my core. Having claimed me as a feminist,

someone who frequently told people around me to love themselves, somewhere along the line, I had decided myself unworthy of the love I was so willing to give others and their bodies.

Not soon after I returned to these habits did I become furious with them. Resent filled me as my own mind attacked my body for not changing, while simultaneously shaking my fist at society’s obscenities.

With my mind see-sawing between my ideas of perfection, I would eat huge meals out of anger and then cry out of remorse for my “perfection.” I would talk to those I cared for about what I wished my body looked like and then minutes later fumed for them encouraging me to achieve it.

It affected my relationships. At times, feeling like I could not exercise out of fear of slipping back into self-deprecation. While I accepted every compliment someone gave me in order to appear confident and self-loving, I never allowed myself to believe it. Growing up as a dancer, I compared myself to others in the mirror. I had a hawk-eye for what my boyfriends paid attention to and my appetite for validation only grew as I searched for it from men instead of from myself. to when I was 13 years old. Tears streamed down my face as my eyes scrolled past years of my logged weight increasing. For seven years, growing through adolescence into adulthood, I had told myself I was not beautiful enough, skinny enough, I would never be loved enough, clothes wouldn’t fit me well enough until I had my 13-year-old body back.

I broke down to someone close to me, I confessed all of my hidden guilt I felt for preaching one thing and doing the very opposite. While sharing this was difficult, as is writing this article, the reality it helped me come to terms with is that these thoughts and feelings may never recede.

Peace comes with the acceptance that my mind travels to my insecurities at times but not allowing myself to ruminate there too long. My self-love grows from striving for balance and being kind to myself. When I, or others, cast doubt on my worth, it is important for me to show up for myself by stating that I am beautiful and those negative selftalk statements don’t serve me. No one else’s validation is needed for you to be enough, only your own.

Unlike the advertisements that you will see stating that you can be closer to perfection in “just two weeks” self-love is a lifelong journey. While it’s a battle to protect your energy, there is no one worth fighting for more than yourself.

by Maja Peirce

While love’s definition is pure and subjective, the way our society tends to show love for one another has been morphed into something adulterated and materialistic. There is nothing wrong with gift-giving and why we think it’s necessary on Valentine’s Day isn’t our fault; however, all of us should be aware of our intent when expressing why we love someone on Valentine’s Day and every day.

Valentine’s Day origins can be traced back to the time of the Romans. Back then, Roman society held a festival in midFebruary celebrating Spring and fertility with the night ending in a lottery of men being paired with random women. While Valentine’s Day roots are not as glamorous as the day society has come to know and love, the commodification of women and romance still remain in February 14th’s DNA.

Showing love for one another, whether it be romantic or platonic, has been presented with objects since our childhood with handing out candy grams to our classmates. Then as we approached middle and high school, we were met with the pressures of dating and the fear of exclusion that were amplified every February.

That pressure has slightly eased as we have entered college and adulthood, however, we are at the age where we can reflect and ponder the question: Why does Western society have us believe that material possessions pave the path toward what has To answer that question, we would need to analyze numerous Western sociological aspects, one of them being media portrayals and consumption.

Every romance movie reinforces the idea that love requires extravagance, whether it be materialistic or through action. Even in romantic subplots in TV shows and movies, love is shown in a way that can be deemed unrealistic and out of reach.

For example, in the 2018 film Crazy Rich Asians, the plot surrounds the protagonists facing obstacles in their love story through the trope of the rich man’s family disapproving of the middle-class girl’s background. Ultimately the couple ended up together, but both characters had to go through insane hoops to reach their end goal of marriage along with the movie bolstering a lifestyle of luxury that’s

To answer that question, we would need to analyze numerous Western sociological aspects, one of them being media

Every romance movie reinforces the idea that love requires extravagance, whether it be materialistic or through action. Even in romantic subplots in TV shows and movies, love is shown in a way that can be deemed unrealistic and out of reach.

For example, in the 2018 film Crazy Rich Asians, the plot surrounds the protagonists facing obstacles in their love story through the trope of the rich man’s family disapproving of the middle-class girl’s background. Ultimately the couple ended The main lesson of the movie exhibits the classic tale that love can overcome anything and that money is not necessary, yet that is constantly raindicated throughout the film when the directors glamorize the

materialistic lifestyle the male protagonist’s family displays.

While this is just one media example out of many showing that consumerism is necessary to attain ideal love, the very idea that romance is portrayed in such a commercialized fashion contributes to why that mentality translates to reality.

Modern society has been conditioned since childhood through media and societal constructs to see love as yet another commodity in the consumerist world we live in. At the end of the day, love is not about what present we got for our significant other, it’s about being there for them and helping one another grow. But, businesses and corporations continue to push the narrative that unnecessary objects are the way to one’s affection in order to attain a profit.

Again: the gesture of giving flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, and other romantic gifts on Valentine’s Day does not cause any harm. But we must differentiate that intimacy should not be based on accumulating unneeded material possessions for one another. Rather, Valentine’s Day and every day should be full of genuine expressions of gratitude and appreciation. As a society, we must shed light on the idea that love can be put at a value and shift our scope to viewing love as invaluable.

To reach that point, we have to individually change how we show our love. One way we can do that is by finding out your partner’s main love language. Love doesn’t always have to be communicated in big, romantic gestures. It can be shown in the smallest, most sincere ways.

Don’t put a price tag on love and don’t make it your end goal in life to attain it. Love is fleeting much like objects, so take the time to love yourself above anything else.

by Ella Ho Ching