TOGETHER NOW Big brother Samuel Sweeney (pictured, first photo, with parents Emily and Ryan holding twins Asher and Jude) was 18 months old at the time of the twins’ premature birth. Jude and Asher (second photo, from left) spent nearly five months in a neonatal intensive care unit. (continued from page 24) think. Luke was coming,
quickly. As they passed through the Dallas Divide mountain pass by ambulance, Luke was born. He weighed 2 pounds, 15 ounces, but was stable and strong. He spent 45 days in the closest NICU to them, which was St. Mary’s Hospital in Grand Junction. “I would go to his room every morning for his first [feedings] and stay until 10 every night,” said Elizabeth. “I would sleep in a chair. It was such a learning curve, [being a] first-time mom and a mother of a preemie.” Elizabeth says her family traveled back and forth to visit. In the end, she found the silver lining. “It was a blessing in disguise that we were so far from home,” said Elizabeth. “It allowed me to concentrate only on Luke. I didn’t have to worry about the house, the dog or anything else.” Early arrival often means a NICU stay until the baby’s “due date.” When mother-of-two Rory Bellow and her husband Beau, who works in commercial real estate, were on a 65-minute flight home from the family ranch, she went into unexpected labor while 30 weeks pregnant with their first child. By the time the plane landed, her contractions were closing in at 30 seconds apart. They rushed to Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women. Minutes after check-in, Collins Julaine Bellow was born, weighing a tiny 3 pounds, 14 ounces, and stretching 16.5 inches long. “It felt like a movie,” said Rory. “Running through the halls on the gurney, lots of yelling, the nurses telling me to not push.” Collins was stable but needed time to grow and spent the next six weeks in the NICU at Texas Children’s. Rory said the initial shock was overwhelming. “The terror of knowing you are going to have a baby so early is blinding,” she said. MEMORIAL BUZZ OCTOBER 2015 26
From the day Rory and Beau were discharged from the hospital, they spent as much time as they could with Collins. They eventually were moved into a private room (which can happen if the baby is more stable), making things more comfortable. “[At first], we could hold her for a few minutes once a day, but it depended on her vital signs,” said Rory. “I would wait up there because I didn’t want to miss that.” Collins came home happy and healthy after about six weeks. For other parents, like Emily Sweeney and her husband Ryan, managing partner with Streetwise Land Advisors, coping with a child’s stay in the NICU was even more complicated with a toddler at home. Their twin boys, Asher and Jude, were born one day shy of 25 weeks gestation in February 2013 at The Woman’s Hospital of Texas. With their 18-month-old toddler, Samuel, at home, each day they had to juggle. “He was still very little, very needy,” said Emily. Children under 2 were not permitted in the NICU. Samuel was going to have to wait many months to meet his new brothers. So the stunned parents faced their 5-month NICU stay head on. “I remember changing their tiny saltine packet-sized diapers at first and being amazed and terrified,” said Emily. They also accepted help from family and friends. “I didn’t grocery shop for six-plus weeks because my friends took care of it for me,” said Emily. Emily spent her days at the hospital, and Ryan, who was working, spent nights. “In the first several weeks, I was at the NICU almost all of the daytime, and at home for dinner, bath time and bedtime for Samuel. When [they] became more stable, I spent about six hours per day at the NICU and my afternoons and evenings with Samuel. Ryan would visit the twins in the evenings after Samuel had
gone to bed.” After a long 141 days, Jude came home, and nine days later, his twin brother followed. The Sweeneys finally were a family of five under one roof. No more wires. No more machines. No more people. Emily says during her experience, she leaned on two friends who had babies born around the same gestational age. “I always tell people that [being a NICU parent] is a club that you don’t want to have to join, but if you do, you’re glad that it exists because [my friends] were the biggest help.” Anyone who has had a child in the NICU knows how attached parents can get to the nurses. They are the first people you see when you walk in the room. They are the ones who teach you how to change their tiny diapers and feed them. They are the ones who love your babies and treat parents with compassion. Lauren Nikolic, a NICU nurse at Children’s Memorial Hermann, was a comforting presence during our newborn twins’ stay. We’ve stayed in touch and see her from time to time. “I recently took care of a baby who was finally able to wear clothes for the first time,” Lauren told me recently. “He was practically swimming in a preemie-sized onesie, but his mom and dad kept remarking on how big he was. Perspective is everything. I love watching parents get excited over the little things. Watching parents change a teeny tiny diaper for the first time is so special.” So, while our NICU days are moving further into the past, I can still close my eyes and hear the beeping sounds of the machines. I can still smell their fresh baby skin as I held them against my hospital gown (which you are required to wear in the NICU). I can see the nurses burping tiny babies. We are part of the NICU family now, and I will be forever grateful.