FEATURE
Q&A
Off the Wall A smashing sport
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The way of the Warrior Learn from the masters by Lulu Johnson
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he link between stealthy may, however, perch cross-legged warriors and the Internet is atop fence poles as they watch you obvious. Warriors want to practice your forms. stay hidden, and the Internet is the Master Chen Fusheng is currently world’s most anonymous locale. accepting students to his academy, Fighters have long used the World located two hours outside Beijing. Wide Web to track their prey, learn He specializes in bagua, qigong, about cool new accessories and and Praying Mantis, among other watch YouTube videos of their varieties. “His knowledge is vast and competitors. Now they’re using it’s real combative and internal stuff. it to recruit You’ll learn to “They may perch novices. defend yourself One mysteriquite quick ly,” cross-legged atop ous Irish warrior says Kelly. fence poles as they by the name of Real warriors David Kelly is put down their watch you practice busy scouring video game your forms” the fringes of consoles and Beijing for capawake up at 6am ble grandmasters who train their to do tai chi. They do hours of conapprentices in the ancient arts. So ditioning and reflex drills, and spend if you’re done daydreaming about their mental energy meditating martial arts prowess, it’s time to in the gardens or practicing their stop giggling at the absurdities on Chinese in the nearby village. Real Realultimatepower.net and head to warriors don’t read about being a real warrior’s website: Studymara badass; they book a tiny, dusty tialarts.org. Here, you’ll find all the room in an authentic Chinese vilinfo that Kelly has compiled on the lage, sequester themselves in their city’s best independent masters and martial arts study, and live, breathe grandmasters. and sleep their art – just like Van True to the spirit of kung fu’s Damme in Blood Sport. It’s warriors most epic films, these warriors train like these, and like Kelly, who you’ll novices and professional fighters in find late at night punching mung the great arts of Wing Chun, qigong bean-filled burlap sacks at Master and taijiquan, among other styles. Chen’s with an oddly serene smile Some of Beijing’s grandmasters on their lips. have even invented their own arts. Unlike the grandmaster in Kill Bill, Find Master Chen they display no ridiculously long and others at beards or villainous chuckles. They www.studymartialarts.org.
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April 2012
quash is best known as something business types do in their lunch hour. That’s not entirely inaccurate, but it doesn’t do justice to a sport whose speed provides such a fantastic workout for both brain and brawn. When we asked the Beijing Expat Squash League a few questions, the answers came back rapid-fire from all directions … Who plays squash? There’s an old saying: “You don’t play squash to get fit; rather, you have to be fit to play squash.” But in reality, you can do whatever the hell you like. As long as you can stand and swing your arms about and are, let’s say, human.
Squash is strategic – place the ball where your opponent is not. Unlike tennis, your skill in squash is not necessarily measured by how hard you can hit. Our game obviously relies on the ability to make cutthroat deals with the Wall Street bankers. Squash is better because it’s simply more fun to play, you increase your fitness more quickly and, as it’s easier to reach a reasonably good level, it increases anyone’s selfconfidence.
What’s the difference between squash and racquetball? Racquetball has bigger balls but shorter handles, and we have longer handles but smaller balls, but “We have longer What if we’ve ultimately we’re handles but never played the same on the before? court. It’s a tricky smaller balls” We’ve had many one, ladies – beginners come along, just wanting choose carefully. to try it, and of course all the other members pitch in to try to get them What would you like to squash? up to standard. But that’s not to Old people. Really old people that say don’t come along if you’re excelcan’t drive – the kind that thinks that lent. We want all the competition because they have 60 years of “expewe can get. rience” they know better, despite the fact they can’t technically see. Do we need to own our own squash gear? Doubles squash is ... Not really. We have a few dedicated Great fun! Technically the court members who always bring along is meant to be a little wider, but a few racquets. Sports shoes would you can do it on a normal court. be a good idea, though. Playing in Eye protection for this one is really business shoes is much more sliprecommended! pery than you’d imagine. If you had to rename the sport Isn’t squash just Wall Street after another vegetable, which bankers on lunch break cutting would it be? big deals? Bulbous turnip. Haha, that’s exactly what it is. In fact, (“Hello, good chap, care for a game no one really knows how to play at of bulbous turnip?” all. But seriously, Rio Tinto is on the “Why, don’t mind if I do...”) rise (wink, wink). The Expat Squash League plays on Why is squash better than the Thursdays and Sundays. To join, email other racquet sports? williamfrisby@yahoo.co.uk.