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o wi t

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The

ees... It ’s g ot

for residents of beeston... and the UNDERworld!

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H th e

no

! py co EE FR 19 November 20

issue

w e o e l l n a

Issue No. 66(6)


A FRESH APPROACH At RM Tax & Accountancy we like to do things differently to most other accountants. There is no tie, no expensive office, no hidden fees or unexpected invoice. Your tax affairs will be dealt with from start-to-finish by a fully qualified accountant. All our fees are agreed up-front and paid month by month to spread the cost of your accountancy and tax needs. We make ourselves available around our clients hours; if a 7pm call suits you better than anything 9-5, then it suits us too. Find out more: www.rmtaxandaccountancy.com Give us a call: 0115 7270 725 or email us: rob@rmtaxandaccountancy.com

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THE BIG IDEA PAINT IT BRIGHT

Beestonian The

T

here are many things in Beeston to chill the blood. The street in Chilwell named ‘Ghost House Lane’. The witch grave in the churchyard. Memories of last orders in the Prince of Wales (RIP) circa 1997. Scary times indeed.

So with Halloween on the dark horizon / just one, and the nights most definitely drawing in, it’s time to take a look at the scarier aspects of the town. From actual real-life zombies in the Nature Reserve to demonic ice cream vans selling Apocallippo lollies we have it all. It’s probably a good time to tell you about the new editorial team at The Beestonian: our longterm editor Christian Fox has stepped down to focus on his fiendishly difficult quizzes, and the gruesome-twosome (actually, they’re both lovely) team of Jade Moore (Editor) and John Cooper (Deputy Editor) have stepped in to fill some mighty boots. The fantastic Mr Fox took us through period of rapid change, bringing us from a page black and white magazine to the weighty, glossy tome you hold right now.

We’re planning to get bigger, as well; with more issues out to more places. If you’d like to stock us, let us know. If you’re a local business and want to promote yourself with us – we’re brilliant value and as a non-profit have no interest in doing anything other than paying for print, distribution and a few quid to our staggeringly talented writers – then get in touch. Our next Christmas issue will be a biggy, and combined with our online strength reach exactly the people you need to be reaching. And some people from Tallinn who occasionally email me to ask why we want to Be Estonian .

Lord Beestonia; lead writer and founder...

So stop reading this bit and get stuck into the most terrifying issue we’ve ever put together. But don’t read it alone at night.. Who knows what lurks beneath your bed? (Well, probably a thick layer of dust, a long-overdue library book and that missing sock you’ve long pondered over). The Beestonian, We’re no trick, all treat. MT

WWW.BIGIDEA-CREATIVE.CO.UK • 0115 9228922

Why do people keep doing that?

Oops! Last minute space-filler: Rock City by Daniel Cullen


A beeston phenomenon

I Am Beeston

This issue: William Charles Wheatley MBE

T

he name of William ‘Bill’ Wheatley may not be known to that many Beestonians, but to those that do, he means a great deal to them. My only time of meeting Bill was when I went to his house to chat to him as a subject for the ongoing ‘I Am Beeston’ project. Although I managed to take his photograph, but for some long forgotten reason the interview never took place. Now of course it is too late, as Bill sadly passed away in June. So as a way of recompense to him and his family, here is a potted history of his life and his many achievements. William was born on 31st October 1929 on Moorbridge Road in Stapleford. He was the

UNIVERSITY OF BEESTONIA A Global Top 100 Happy University

Must

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that blo

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!

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was thrown a right editorial curve ball this issue, I was ready and primed for a whole year (I’d set myself a challenge) of positive celebrations of Higher Education (HE). If anyone has ever read this column you may have noted the occasional grump, the odd bout of cynicism, and sometimes a pointed suggestion of where things might improve. Not this year, there’s loads to be happy about (should not have used positive and celebration in the same phrase earlier, internal thesaurus’ run out already), and this is what the column will focus on for at least the next 12 months.

oldest of four children. Archie his father worked at Stanton Ironworks, while his mum Elsie was what is known as being in service, before becoming a wife, parent and homemaker. When Bill was eight, the family moved to Stanton-by-Dale. At 15, Bill got a job at the Ironworks as an apprentice electrician. National Service arrived when Bill reached 21. Having knowledge of electrical matters, Bill served in the REME (Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers) where he instructed recruits on radar systems, at their base in Arborfield, Berkshire. Continues...

There’s always a buzz about the beginning of the new year, often created by 100 young (and by golly they’re getting younger) coughs raining, often literally, down to the front of the lecture theatre (there’s a seasonal image for you). Campus is full of people again and the academics are chuckling about how they always forget what this time of year is like, even those that haven’t done it before.

ing ...Amaz y So that bright light isn’t an ickl how qu ent oncoming train after all, a rare occasion when the dw my hea rror gentleman of Half Man Half Biscuit were wrong, at the Ho to “HE end of this year’s tunnel there Show” is joy, rainbows and undoubtedly

And then we hit the start of the new semester, it started raining and the theme for this issue comes through (thanks new Ed.). Amazing how quickly my head went to “HE Horror Show” or “Halloween is traditionally the time to remember those that have passed, like our HE system”. But neither of those things is true, it would have been lazy writing, and I see enough of that from some of the professionals these days.

bunnies (not the Monty Python type). Alternatively, I’m well and truly down the rabbit hole, but hey if I am it’s nice here and I’m not coming back. Reality sucks. Is that your Sanderling? MJ currently has part of his salary paid for by The Future Food Beacon. MJ

When he was demobbed in 1952, Bill specialised as an electrical engineer in mining and petrochemical sites. He became a member of the Institute of Electrical Engineers and a Chartered Engineer (C Eng MIE). He retired in 1992, after being an engineer for 50 years.

Life changed for Bill, when he married his wife Cynthia Chapman in 1957. Bill met Beeston born Cynthia through his involvement in the local Methodist Church on Victory Road. They enjoyed 53 years of marriage, living in the same newly built bungalow on Trent Road in the Rylands, before she died in July 2010. The couple had two daughters; Kathryn and Helena. Bill became involved in the church at a very young age, through firstly becoming a choirboy, then as a bell ringer. He loved the Methodist Church nearly as much as Cynthia. as he was involved in the church’s many activities such as teaching, leading the Sunday School, organising a boy’s club and the Christian Endeavour, which aimed at helping young people to find God. In 1963, Bill helped to create the Midland Camping Venture (MVC). This group provided week long summer holidays for young people, and gave them an opportunity to get involved in various outdoor activities. It proved to be very popular, as thousands of young people signed up for these camps. Bill also became a local preacher and looked after the Victory Road church. But religion wasn’t the only thing that kept Bill busy. After seeing shirehorses as a child, Bill found his love of all things nature. He learnt to

recognise the calls of different birds and know lots about plants. He even sold rose bushes to Wheatcrofts. In 1996, he and the late Keith Corbett started the Beeston Wildlife Group, which is very popular with wildlife enthusiasts, and became Chair, after Keith’s passing eleven years later. He was also heavily involved in Attenborough Nature Reserve, and other local conservation projects.

relating stories and fond memories about their connection with Bill. A lot were from the days of the MVC. This was followed up with a later meet up that day at the Attenborough Nature Centre.

His community work was formally recognised in 2008, when he took a trip to Buckingham Palace, and received his MBE in the Queen’s Birthday Honours List for ‘Voluntary Service to the Community in Beeston, Nottinghamshire’. Bill described this as one of his proudest moments. Then in 2012, Bill was given the Freedom of the Borough of Broxtowe. A fitting tribute to such a remarkable man.

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Away from the church, nature conservation and helping others, Bill enjoyed reading, with his favourite novel being Laurie Lee’s ‘Cider With Rosie’, possibly whilst listening to some jazz music. He supported Derby County and was a fan of motorcycle racer Valentino Rossi. He also liked steam trains and a bit of plane spotting at RAF Waddington. Bill also spent the best part of 25 years learning Spanish, and at the age of 79, drove for several hours, so he could do some birdwatching. An inspirational man by any standards. I went to his service of thanksgiving at Beeston Methodist Church on June 22nd. It was a sad, but joyous affair, with many people

With many thanks to Kathryn Randall and Heidi Tarlton-Weatherall for the information and photographs.


careful now, It,s...

SCOTT BENNETT

This ish: “Halloween”

N

ow is the time of year our streets will be teaming with youngsters, all wearing costumes and face paint, marauding through the local community, angrily making their demands. No, I’m not talking about the next protest from Extinction Rebellion; I’m referring, of course, to Halloween. I’m baffled as to why it seems to be such a big deal these days? I think it’s the closest us Brits get to having an affinity with the Americans, apart from our growing obesity problem and embarrassment with our political leaders. It’s a major feature on the calendar now. The kids get excited like it’s Christmas and it nearly rivals Easter when it comes to the calorie count. When I was a kid back in the 1980s Halloween wasn’t even a thing. I can only remember going trick or treating a few times. The first time was when I was about three years of age, a mere amateur in the game. My parents took a photo of the occasion. I was there sporting a massive black bin bag, with skeleton bones crudely drawn on the front in Tippex. I looked like a walking ISIS flag. I was wearing my father’s wellingtons as they were black and presumably my Fireman Sam ones didn’t have the required scare factor. I was sat in my Batman go-kart and my poor dad was pulling me round the streets with a rope. I think I was the only Trick or Treater to be chauffer driven. The second time I was about 12, which in trick or treater years is approaching retirement. I was with a friend and went trick or treating around his estate. It was a strange night. The only people to answer the door were his parents, his grandma and one of his highly religious neighbours, who gave us a little note of some bible scripture, warning us against dabbling with the occult. My mate ate it as he thought it might be some sugar paper, it wasn’t but he’s now a fully qualified vicar so it was certainly laced with something. They even have zombie walks through town centres now. Hundreds of people, walking with a vacant stare, moaning and groaning. I’ve seen it in Nottingham many times, although not exclusively on Halloween. I often wonder if trick or treating is different in really posh areas. The kids would probably only be able to do two houses as it would take half an hour to walk up the driveways. They’d all be dressed in designer Halloween costumes, a little off the shoulder gothic number by Gucci, with a swan slung over each shoulder and they wouldn’t say trick or treat, it would be “Hoodwink or delicacy?” Unless its Green and Blacks 80% organic fairtrade chocolate, they’d not accept it and the tricks would be a little different too, something more in-keeping with the area. “I say sir, haven’t you heard, house prices here are set to plummet by 5%!” I have two children, nine and three, strange names but easy to remember. They both love Halloween. At my eldest daughters’ school last year for Halloween they were allowed to go in fancy dress, she said to me, “Daddy I want to go as something really scary.” So I had a think about it and sent her as an Ofsted inspector.

We don’t send them out on their own trick or treating, it’s a different world now. So, we have to accompany them like a pair of weird bouncers. Waiting at the bottom of the driveways and mouthing an embarrassed “sorry” as they storm into our neighbour’s hallways to mug them of all the Haribo they have. The street I live on really embraces Halloween, because the demographic is mainly young families. It started out quite low-key, a couple of pumpkins, maybe a cobweb here and there. A morning at Costa and a WhatsApp group later and its now Grand Designs meets Friday the 13th. It’s a competition in one-upmanship. We’ve got gravestones in gardens, smoke machines and spooky music on Bluetooth speakers. Last year one resident had the idea of putting a life size dummy of a killer clown in the front seat of their people carrier. It was a nice touch until one child had a panic attack. I think they are still in therapy now. I don’t know where this madness is going to end. I wouldn’t be surprised if my wife tries to convince me to bury myself in the garden, with nothing but a paper straw to breathe through. She’d tell the children I was working away and then on Halloween night, as soon as the first bars of Michael Jacksons “Thriller” are blasted across the garden, I would emerge from the soil like one of the Living Dead. Towards the end of the evening we tend to get the stragglers coming, to pick off the last of the sweets. These are the kids who are too old for the trick or treating game. The ones who have worn the tread on the tyres, jaded old hacks who should know better. The cut-off point is when The One Show intro music starts, everyone knows that. Once the pumpkin is extinguished it’s over. Yet they still come, all charged up on E-numbers, mobile phones lighting their faces like low budget ETs and hammer the doorbell. I expect the reason they were late is because some of them are old enough to be working at Subway and they needed to finish their shifts first. The carving of the pumpkin is something I try to involve the children in. It’s a calmer, more traditional taste of Halloween. The kids try and carve, but ultimately, they get bored. They start off with such big ideas, “I’m going to carve Harry Potter’s face into this one Daddy!”, “I’m going to do a full-scale picture of Hogwarts in mine Daddy!” this all fades away at record speed when they realise how difficult it is to cut into and all we end up with is two pumpkins with a glory hole in them. This years Halloween will be very different. I won’t be able to celebrate it as I am performing my tour show “Leap Year” (tickets available at www.scottbennettcomedy.co.uk/tour.html yes this is a plug) in Amersham, Hertfordshire. Let’s hope that it’s a treat for me and not a trick where no one turns up. Or worse than that, one person turns up, in fancy dress as the grim reaper. @scottbcomedyuk | scottbennettcomedy.co.uk Find The Scott Bennett Podcast on SoundCloud and iTunes SB

e h t f o k c a t t A

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t’s Halloween and there have been some spooky goings on at the Attenborough Nature Reserve. Eerie ‘pig-like’ screams from water rails in the reedbeds, tawny owls hooting as they proclaim ownership of their woodland territory, but most scarily, zombies lurking in the undergrowth! Whilst this sounds like the plot of a b-list horror movie, the actions of a fungus have made zombies very real at Attenborough. Fungi are one of the most important groups of organisms to be found on the Nature Reserve. Over 450 species have been identified at Attenborough and most of the species can be seen in the autumn. Fungi do a wonderful job of breaking down dead and decaying matter, returning the nutrients back in to the soil. However, there is a particular group of fungi which have a very sinister strategy for survival. The so called ‘Zombie Fungus’, Entomophthora, is one such fungus and the effects of which have been seen in the late summer and autumn. The fungus uses a special mind control technique to take advantage of insects in order to help it spread. Just one microscopic germinated spore (akin to seeds in plants) ingested by an insect is enough to infect the host with this pathogenic organism. Once inside the body of the host, the fungus grows rapidly. Digesting its guts and internal organs. The mycelium of the fungus, a mass of branching thread like hairs or roots, then

spreads to an area of the fly’s brain that controls behaviour. The fungus forces the host to land or climb up to the top of a tall plant or tree. The reason for this is that like most other types of fungi, the zombie fly fungus needs to get its spore bearing structures as high as possible in order to complete its lifecycle. The higher up the insect, the more likely the microscopic spores are to get caught in air currents when they are released and will therefore spread over greater distances. The final act of the fungus is to get the insect to assume a position that aids in dispersal of the spores. In the case of flies, the wings are held spread open and the legs stiffen to raise the fly’s abdomen in to the air. Just five to seven days after becoming infected, the fly dies. By this stage the growing fungus begins to burst out of every crack in the insect’s armour and it becomes visible for a couple of days before the spores are released and the fungal spores ‘seek out’ their next victim. Surprisingly there are over 70 species of this group of fungi in the UK. Whilst Entomopthora muscae is the most commonly encountered species, and infects flies like hoverflies, others use a similar technique to affect mosquitoes, ants and even earwigs. Why not scan through the path-side vegetation on your next visit to Attenborough and see if you can spot a ‘zombie insect’ for yourself! TS

TIM SEXTON ‘Zombie Fungus’ Controls the Minds of Insects


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Chapter 13. Halloween!

Our little family are all huge horror fans. My favourite film as a child was the 18-rated Troll, which we rented so many times from the video shop that the guy who owned it eventually gave it to us for free because the tracking was wearing out. My daughter loves Goosebumps and is sniffing around my old Point Horror collection. My husband likes anything with fighting and blood in it. We are natural Halloween enthusiasts. Part of the attraction for me has always been the subversive nature of celebrating a pagan ritual, a two-fingers salute at religious holidays and a chance to run around in the dark demanding people give you stuff for free.

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My fondest memory as a kid was of my parents unrolling bin bags and my mum getting crafty with scissors and sellotape. I was a witch every year for 8 years. When I was about 6 my dad took me trick or treating and told me to beware of witches lurking around corners, just as two unwitting students came around the bend in our road and through my screams of pure terror I felt that first rush of white hot fear, and instantly knew that being scared was awesome. My daughter is the same. She will beg me to make her jump or tell her a scary story, to the point that she’s exhausted herself with screams and laughter. I’ll tell her stories of working as a scare actor in attractions around London, and of the people who fainted or threw up or begged to leave. It was the best few years of my 20s.

s

DAISY LEVERINGTON

n our house, Halloween is as big as Christmas. Costumes are decided during the end of summer sales, our amazing porch (tiny front window directly onto the road in front of our small terraced house) is decked in crunchy burnt-orange leaves, pumpkins and skulls, neighbours avoid us until midNovember. Previous costumes themes have included Stranger Things, The X files, The Walking Dead, and weirdly, Parks and Rec. This year we have decided on Fleabag as our muse. I’m Fleabag (of course) my husband, despite being 6’2 and bald, is the sexy priest, and our little girl is Hilary the guinea pig. We pride ourselves on having a 0% success rate for people guessing who we are.

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Whatever you do this Halloween, don’t be a scare-scrooge and avoid the doorbell. Grab a bag of pound shop sweets and tell the kids they look awesome, they will remember it forever. Or do what we did and set up a smoke machine in the hallway, and terrify the living souls out of the local children by answering the door dressed as a dead Mulder and Scully. You’ll remember that forever too. DL

: hallenge Here's a c e Pottle th g in try sittin to falling in and NOT with n o ti a rs conve strangers complete eer/music/ b / fe li about ollocks. b m rando ly the Absolute pub in t es li d n frie n!! to es Be

In which our very own Beest of Beeston takes a look at our enviable collection of top-notch taprooms! This month:


... beestonian halloween services ...

Frank Enstein

... beestonian halloween services ...

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Run down? Stressed? Tired? Don’t raise hell, come for a treatment. P. Inhead Acupuncturist 0115 638 4990

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Beeston Motel We are known for our showers

Damien childminding services Call Chilwell 0115 666 666

H. LECTER PSYCHIATRY SERVICES Certified individual Free chianti with each consultation Toton 0115 385 9577


DEBRA URBACZ Dark Nights, Bright Lights.

Creative Beeston I

t’s autumn! Time to get out the woolly sweaters, hand-knitted socks and indulge in some cosy indoor activities. On bright, brisk days it feels good to get the heart pumping with a walk round the nature reserve or Highfields Park but as daylight dwindles and the heating kicks in, it’s wonderful to get back inside.

working for a lighting company that did not at all reflect his current tastes. Mark has always considered the role of lighting in the home as an important one. After leaving the industry for a while and pursuing a career in teaching design and technology, Mark’s been drawn towards the ‘honest design’ of the late 19th century Arts and Crafts movement and Bauhaus.

In contrast to the long summer days, where blue skies hang around until way past tea time and evenings extend outdoors, autumn nights are for creating a cosy atmosphere and snuggling under a homemade quilt, watching a film or reading a book. Part of creating the perfect environment for a cosy evening in has to be the lighting. We are very a much a household that only turns on ‘the big light’ in cases of emergency, you know like a lost remote, so it’s important to have the right kind of lighting where it’s needed.

Although Mark has enjoyed a decade of teaching and inspiring his students to experiment with their own ideas and designs, he has continued to work on his own – feeding the need to have a creative outlet. He designed his first lamp around four years ago, an adjustable lamp for use at home which is just perfect for a reading corner. Tall and elegant, the original design has undergone many modifications, but the principle design has remained the same. The frank use of visible construction adds interest to the simple lines, and the coloured cord provides a colour pop that transforms simple into eye-catching in one vivid streak.

There are many different styles of lamp on the market these days to suit all tastes and budgets, we are literally spoiled for choice! However, something simple that will do the job suits me, and that’s why Mark Lowe’s contemporary pieces caught my eye a while back. Apart from being made from sustainable wood, which supports an environmental ethos, there is also the opportunity to personalise a lamp with a choice of wood, coloured flex and shade so you feel like you are part of the creative process. Fellow Beestonian Mark, was born here and has stayed local to the area, apart from his university years in at Loughborough University where he gained a degree in furniture design. He lives and works out of a home workshop in Beeston, having spent his early years

Mark tells me that as production has increased and designs have evolved, his wife Marianne has brought her own creative flair to the range. She sourced the coloured flex and shades that complement the designs so well and he continues to collaborate with her as new products are conceptualised on the pages of his sketch pad. The range now boasts a fixed standard lamp, table lamp, coat stand and coat racks in ash and oak with vibrant discs – a nod to the colour variations that can be added to the lamps. Subtle or statement? You decide, but with their beautiful simplicity each piece would slot well into any tastefully finished room. Since launching the business in 2017, Mark has been keen to get his products out into the wider world, and in June of this year they had their first stand at the Handmade in Oxford Show. He also tells me about a successful alliance with Long Eaton upholsterers John Sankey Furniture, which resulted in a selection of Mark’s lamps being installed to complement their sumptuous sofas in the Tunbridge Wells showroom, along with some quality publicity photos. As I type up this article, his Facebook newsfeed tells me that Mark is being filmed at the Great Northern Contemporary Craft Fair, Manchester, a handpicked selection of over 160 designer makers. We hope they appreciated your beautiful designs as much as we do at The Beestonian Mark! You can see the full Mark Lowe range on the website www.marklowe.co.uk and follow him on Facebook www.facebook.com/marklowe. co.uk/ and Instagram @marklowelighting DU

Devilish Delights

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ou might not be feeling much like an ice cream at this time of year, but then I did see a young man walking back home from the shop on Priory Island the other night, unwrapping a Magnum with the gleeful enthusiasm of an eight year old that’s just paid a visit to the ice cream van. Seeing as it is the time of year where cavorting with the devil might be actively encouraged, if you do fancy a 99 or a something frozen on a stick, you might want to consider picking one up from El Diablo's Ice Creams. Spawned from the imagination of a Beeston artists mind, driving towards you surrounded by the flames of Hell’s own fire, who would not succumb to the temptation of an Apocalippo, its headlined iced treat? We love Matt Plowright’s often surreal and sometimes haunting artwork. When I questioned him about the inspiration for this particular creative masterpiece, he told me, “I envisaged Satan as an ice cream seller, with his own van. This juxtaposition of the heat of hell and a cool ice cream on a hot summer's day, seemed ridiculous and laughably unlikely. I was inspired by the continental sounding names I had seen on ice cream vans, perhaps 'Signor Whippy' a Peter Kay creation. Also I fondly recall Mr Benn for the aesthetic and the Mighty Boosh for the humour.”

I can’t help but be curious as to the music that would chime from deep inside its bloody El Diablo's Ice Creams guts, would it be the theme tune from the film by Matt Plowright. Halloween or something even more sinister? Would some other evil being need to stand in for Satan when he had other important satanic business to attend to, and who might that be? One thing is for sure, I don’t think I would be asking for the red and green syrup… You will find more of Matt’s artwork on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ PLOWZart/ and www.facebook.com/rodgertheprawn/ on Instagram at Matt Plowright and at his Beeston home studio. Please contact Matt via email at mattplowz@yahoo.co.uk to commission a piece of work or if you can provide a space to exhibit his vast collection of work. Matt will also be taking part in this year’s Art Trail. DU


POETRY ROUND-UP Some dates for your diary... JADE MOORE On Beeston's Poetic Soul...

The Curious Cabaret

Clouds and water by Barry Carter The night offers me a bouquet of moons, my night time walks along the canal. Clouds above are like tourists, will they reach the Maltings? Canal waters sing of journeys they have missed. Evening shadows offer a selection of poses as the sun rises over the Wednesday market with its collection of muses ready to inspire browsers. I left a tear on the train track, an empty glass on the hotel bar, eventually the light will reach haughty eyes from the Beeston star. I placed a flower on the Crimean memorial, a bee landed, ghosts of soldiers left after being fed by paradise, relatives will track their ancient ties and pray in Saint John the Baptists' church-the wind outside is wearing the uniform of war walking across graves, there is at least one soldier the uniform Fits who shaves memories when a prayer passes through him followed by the eternally recurring bullet returning to its gun, fires of war echo in the sun. Moon the oars man saves drowning spirits, their heartbeats echo in the final footsteps of the wind.   Street signs ask me for directions to visit lost residents. Beeston stories have been told creating gold for a ring ready to make Beeston's hand gleam. I dream about a hand guiding clouds that rain silver on gardens and hives full of silver. Van Der Valk finds his own shining fingerprints on a gold band. Memories are like rain as it falls onto clouds reflected on the marina, fleeting rapid eye movements keep dreams afloat as visions of the day are replayed. In a dream a train stops before a tear, the moon takes the water with its many reflections and places it in a glass with a flower. Attempting to trace nectar to its source the elusive patterns of memory take their course. The moon has been mapping hives and lives, the sun's imprints are like the lost buttons from a soldiers jacket.

PROFESSIONAL TUNING AT A COMPETITIVE PRICE

Wednesday 20 November, 7:30-10pm, The Berliner The Curious Cabaret is a monthly evening of magic, stand up comedy and poetry all enjoyed whilst sipping cocktails and enjoying the relaxing vibe of the Berliner in Beeston. The night is designed to give a platform for both new and experienced performers and is not to be missed!

WORD!

Tuesday 3 December, Beeston Library 7pm £6/£4 Booking advised An Xtra special Xmas performance, featuring Jonny Fluffypunk and guests. To book a space on the open mic in advance, email: hello@ wordpoetry.co.uk

VOICES EXHIBITION

4 December – 29 January Beeston Library Voices presents a thought-provoking collection of poetry created by people whose voices, for health, social or age-related reasons, are rarely heard.

The Beestonian is...

Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Editor • Jade Deputy Editor • John Design & The Beest • Dan Business Manager • Helen History Editor • Joe Earp

Top-notch contributors this issue:

Matt Turpin, Dan Cullen, Scott Bennett, Tim Sexton, John Cooper, Daisy Leverington, Christopher Frost, Matt Jones, Debra Urbacz, Tim Pollard, Jade Moore and Lulu Davenport

POETRY PLACE: BEESTON

Writing workshop Saturday 30 November, Beeston Library 11:30am – 1pm Admission £5 Booking essential If our Buzzword poems inspire you, then this workshop could be just what you need. In this workshop, you’ll try out different ways of creating poetry focused on Beeston. All you need is an open mind, notebook, and a pen.

POTTLE POETRY

First Sunday of the month The Pottle micropub 4-6pm A free, open mic poetry afternoon, everyone welcome!

PAPER CRANE POETS

Every other Tuesday, Beeston Library 5:30-7:30pm, 18+ Paper Crane Poets is a brand new poetry collective, hosted by local poets Chris McLoughlin and Leanne Moden! We're looking forward to building a group of writers who collaborate, encourage, and support each other.

Stockists: Berliner, The Hive, Rye, The Hop Pole, The Crown,

The Star, The Malt Shovel, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe Roya, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve, The Pottle, Greenhood, Beeston Nursery, The Victoria, Canalside Heritage Centre, Beeston Community Shop (formally Thorntons), Oxfam Books, L’Oliva, Two Little Magpies, Local not Global, John Flynn Opticians, Out of this World, lots of hairdressers and suchlike. ... If you’d like to be a stockist, let us know by emailing thebeestonian@gmail.com

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TIM POLLARD Nottingham’s official Robin Hood

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ne of the things I love about Beeston is how it changes – for instance when I was younger you couldn’t move for shoe shops but now they’re almost all gone, replaced by a proliferation of hairdressers, charity shops and vaping emporiums. One of the shops I miss the most is Bodens, towards the Chilwell end of town; a now long-gone fabled place full of second-hand furniture, pictures, nick-nacks, books and sculptures which stretched back seemingly in time as well as space. It was, to my young eyes, the kind of place you’d see in a Hammer Horror film (or an Amicus or Tyburn Production for you 1960’s horror movie aficionados), run by Peter Cushing and with a dreadful story to each piece – and a dreadful fate for whoever bought something. Thankfully it wasn’t some repository of cursed horror though – I used to buy loads of small items and still have the fabulous reproduction Chinese sideboard I fell in love with so many years ago. But it was my lovely mother-in-law Joy who found what is to me the most interesting item I’ve ever seen from there (and that’s no mean claim); a ’Roll of Honour’ from the First World War commemorating local men, men from The Angular-Hole Drilling & Manufacturing Co. Ltd. who had left to serve their country during that great conflict - and although we’re now approaching Halloween and all the fauxterror that commercialises I wanted to share this historic part of Beeston’s past with you as we also move once more towards Remembrance Day. According to David Hallam’s very informative ‘Exploring Beeston’s History’ website I found the company was founded before 1913 by one John W Gaze and was initially situated on Station Road but eventually moved to Dovecote Lane where ‘it continued for many years’ and was one of the many industrial/ manufacturing companies our town had at the time. The roll itself is very telling – it lists sixteen employees who joined up; thankfully it’s not a casualty list, although of course not all of

the men returned home. One, Private Frank Willett, is listed as having joined the RAF so that must date it to after its creation in April 1918. The names listed are: Driver Richard Sims Army Service Corps; Private Joseph Hardy 7th Battalion Sherwood Foresters; Private Joseph Hunt 1st Lincolnshire; Private Clarence Hazzeldine King’s Own Yorkshire Light Infantry; Private Jack Athin 1st Leicestershire; A.B. Alfred Brewster HMS Hindustani; Private Thomas Sweeney 3rd Sherwood; Private Ernest Orchard King’s Own Yorkshire Light Infantry; Private Amos Martin R S Fusiliers; Private Albert Walker 2/8 Battalion Sherwood Foresters; Driver Cecil F Smith Royal Fleet Auxiliary; Private Herbert Baker Notts and Derby; Private George Keelley Notts and Derby; Private William Hardwick Notts and Derby; Private Frank Willett RAF; Private Chas H Beales Royal Engineers. What happened to these young men? Turning again to the invaluable resource that is the ‘Exploring Beeston’s History’ site you can find a very detailed Roll of Honour there too which lists every person from Beeston killed in The Great War. It’s very sobering to look up the names on the Angular Hole list to see how many of these young men lost their lives a century or more ago. It’s also interesting to see that some of them changed regiments too - for instance Private 28027 Ernest Orchard who joined the King’s Own Yorkshire Light Infantry but transferred to the 2nd Battalion Sherwood Foresters (Notts & Derby) Regiment. Sadly Private Orchard died in the battle of Ypres on Wednesday, 9th August 1915 aged just 18 and has no known grave. Spend some time yourself looking at some of the others on www.beeston-notts.co.uk/ww1_roll.shtml . The Angular Hole Drilling Role of Honour is a lovely, poignant and unique piece of real Beeston history that now hangs with pride in my house (right next to that Chinese sideboard) – and if anyone knows any more about the company or any of the men listed I’d be fascinated to hear from you… TP

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or many, the words ‘British Legion’ means a place that old soldiers can go to for a bit of company and a cheap pint. While that part may be true, the Legion in Beeston also means being entertained at a reasonable price. As four years ago, David Clifford, the former road manager of Nottingham’s Paper Lace and Bittersweet, together with his partner Anita opened the club for cabaret evenings. You can forget the end of the pier and novelty acts that made their way onto the stage in Peter Kay’s comedy series Phoenix Nights, David attempts and succeeds in attracting quality acts that people want to see for a very reasonable on the door price of £5, through his many contacts in the music industry. David, with much help, charity and good will from people and companies has transformed the inside of the nondescript building into a warm, welcoming space for everyone to enjoy a night out. Full Steam Ahead is a sponsor for instance. Some of the improvements have included LED lights for energy conservation, improved soundproofing to stop the neighbours complaining and stage lighting that originally came from Plessey. The original use of the building hasn’t been lost, as there’s still an area dedicated to veterans of the Korean conflict and the bar is named Troopers, after the Paras. Although most members of the armed forces now tend to go to Chetwynd Barracks for their companionship. The Cabaret Club’s main audience are people in their 30s and 40s. There’s no age restriction either, so families are made most welcome.

For that first hand experience, David invited me and my wife Gail along to see a show. The next cabaret night featured a Cliff Richard and Cher tribute bands. So I thought that would be a good one to choose. We arrived to a packed house who were enjoying the songs of Cliff and his backing band the Shadooz. Will Chandler does a fair impersonation of Harry Webb and tended to keep to a lot of his early back catalogue songs from the 1960s, so we were spared his latter tunes like ‘The Millennium Prayer’. Kelly Marie as Cher came on next, dressed in a similar costume that she appeared in the ‘Turn Back Time’ video. And no, it wasn’t ‘that’ Kelly Marie, who had a hit in 1980 with “Feels Like I’m In Love’. At the break, a cheque presentation was made to Breast Cancer Care of £620. This was raised by the club, as one of its members Jayne Walker was diagnosed with the disease four years ago, but is now free after going through 16 months of therapy. I had a quick chat with Jayne, who comes from Hucknall and she really wants to get the word out about the charity and its work and was genuinely pleased that the club had raised so much through a charity evening held there earlier this year. There’s a real family atmosphere to the club as members have their birthdays celebrated. While we were there Cliff led the singing of Happy Birthday to one member.

“...a warm, welcoming y place to enjo .” a night out

So what sort of entertainment is on offer? Tuesday evenings are set aside for line dancing, Wednesday’s are bingo nights, Beeston Camera Club meets there on a Thursday, while the cabaret nights are the first Friday in the month. There’s also music or comedy on a Saturday too. The venue can also be hired for private parties like weddings. And David has just opened a smaller room that can be used for meetings. Car parking isn’t a problem, as there’s enough space for 60 cars. The club currently has around 150 members and has a loyal following. David and Anita are always thinking of ways to improve the club, as they would hate to see it close.

With a change of costume and Cliff was on again for some more songs to entertain the happy audience. I wondered whether Cher would make another appearance, and she did. Well Kelly did, but as herself. And was something of a rock goddess. She did an amazing version of Guns & Roses’ ‘Sweet Child of Mine’, which went down a storm with the audience. So if you fancy having somewhere new to go, then why not give the Legion on Hallcroft a go. You never know, you might decide to become a member. If you want to know more about the club and what it can offer, then give David a call on 07917 773003. CF

CHRISTOPHER FROST Life is a Cabaret, old Friend


urban

1a Devonshire Avenue, Beeston, Nottingham, NG9 1BS Monday to Friday from 9am to 5.30pm Saturday 9am to 5pm

outlaws

Established in Beeston, Nottingham over 70 years ago, John Flynn Opticians is located on the corner of the leafy Devonshire Avenue and Chilwell High Road (opposite corner to Ellis-Fermor & Negus Solicitors). Director and senior Optometrist at John Flynn Opticians, Dr Sheeraz Janjua is one of only 25 Optometrists in the UK to be awarded the degree of Doctor of Optometry from Aston University for his research in Dry Eye Syndrome. He was also one of a select few nominated for the Optometrist of the Year award in 2018. Having been at the helm in Beeston since 2016, Dr. Janjua provides both private and NHS patients with the option to benefit from an enhanced eye examination using an OCT instrument to produce macular, retinal and optic nerve scans to aid early diagnosis of various ocular conditions.

But there is one method of fitness which seems to keep people interested. Don’t take our word for it – here’s what our patients are saying about us:

Wear sunglasses this summer, not just as a fashion accessory but most importantly to protect your eyes from the sun’s ultraviolet (UV) rays.

“I was recommended to go to John Flynn Optician by family members. I love everything about the practice and I will now only ever use John Flynn’s. The glasses are well made, well fitted and I can see much better. My eye examination with Dr. Janjua was very informative and he put me at ease - very good. All the team at John Flynn’s have treated me well and I cannot fault them.”

CrossFit is described on its official website in three steps. The workouts, including the varied exercise routines such as weightlifting and aerobic activities, the lifestyle, such as the nutritional part of the sport and finally the community, perhaps the most unique part of CrossFit which helps to define its popularity.

“I’d heard that the glasses were great quality and the service was great at John Flynn Optician. The staff have been very helpful and gave me all the facts I needed. I love the personal touch and that you don’t have to ask for help - it’s just given. I love my new glasses - the style, the colour, the quality - everything. Dan and Annette have been brilliant from the minute I walked in the door. They are very friendly and provided perfect service in every way. I will be coming back and will share my experience with others.”

Beeston has its own CrossFit gym on Humber Road called Urban Outlaws, founded by Ash Fowler and Louis French who found out about this method of fitness training a decade ago. “I was looking online at Olympic weightlifting and I stumbled across CrossFit,” said Ash

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Beeston Parish Church

“CrossFit has 33% of Olympic weightlifting in it and when you start searching online it starts popping up all over the place on social media, so we decided to carry that into our training.

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“I came to John Flynn Optician through a recommendation from a friend and have never been to another opticians. My eye examination was thorough and explained to me very clearly. The team at John Flynns are very helpful and cheerful. Carry on the good work.”

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We’ve all experienced glare in our daily lives whether it be driving in a car with the sun reflecting off the dashboard, road, windscreen and bonnet or the sun illuminating the surface of the water while spending the day at the beach. Usually glare is annoying and uncomfortable on the eyes, but when the angle of reflection is just right the glare can become blinding and often downright dangerous, as in the case of driving a vehicle.

If you regularly lift weights or know people who do, then you would have probably heard of something called CrossFit. Far from being a new sport, CrossFit’s origins trace back to the start of the millennium with an American personal trainer called Greg Glassman, who helped open the first CrossFit gym in Seattle.

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Polarised lenses

n an age of shrinking attention spans where people are trying to find new ways of keeping fit whilst having fun doing it, going to the gym is something which you may find repetitive. It often becomes something you force yourself to do without getting any real enjoyment from it, meaning that many will begin to go less or even stop going altogether.

Provide a friendly, welcoming, homely environment with a passion for great customer service and to combine the best ophthalmic lenses from some of the most respected lens manufacturer’s alongside some of the finest hand-made frames from around the world.

The Importance Of Wearing Sunglasses In The Summer

We are all aware of how hazardous the sun can be for our skin, leaving behind spots or lines causing premature aging. Of course the biggest danger is skin cancer including eyelid cancer, your eyelids are thin and sensitive pieces of skin that are just as susceptible to skin cancer as the other parts of your body that are exposed to the sun. However, many people don’t realize that the sun is just as damaging to the fragile organs that are our eyes including short and long-term eye damage such as cataracts, age-related macular degeneration and other sunrelated eye diseases. Remember Sunglasses are not all created equal, all of our sunglasses/perscritption sun lenses offer upto 100% UV protection and bigger lenses are even better as they offer even more coverage of the sensitive eye area.

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With over 45 years of experience between us we have 2 goals:

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Don’t forget we offer a 50% discount on your second set of lenses including all of our polarised lenses. T&C’s apply.

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We also dispense specialist lenses for people with vision loss related to Glaucoma, Retinitis Pigmentosa, Diabetic Retinopathy and Macular Degeneration (AMD).

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Pharmacy

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Ordinary tinted sunglass lenses only cut down on the ambient light that reaches the eye but by their very nature, they cannot block glare only polarised lenses can block out this dangerous,often blinding glare, they can also enhance visual acuity, colour contrast and visual comfort, blocking 100% of harmful UVA/B light.

Pharmacy

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“Me and Louis, will train together and throw in the CrossFit style movements alongside our Olympic weightlifting as well. That's really how we started getting into it. We self-taught ourselves.” You may be wondering if CrossFit is for you but Ash says anyone can try it no matter what their physique is.

Open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5:30pm. Saturday 9am-5pm John Flynn Opticians welcomes the registration of new patients and parking is available in the practice’s own car park. Telephone 0115 9255051 to make an appointment. enquiries@johnflynnopticians.co.uk www.johnflynnopticians.co.uk Want to stay up to date with the latest news and arrivals?why not follow us on Instagram and Facebook @johnflynnopticians

0115 925 5051

“CrossFit appeals to everyone. You could be a 16-year-old lad that's trying to find a fitness method or our oldest member who is 72. Anyone can do this, any size, any shape. Strong has no size.” So what will you get from CrossFit compared to going to a regular gym? Ash tells me it’s all about the detail.

“There isn't something out there that really caters for your progression like this. If you go to a normal gym class everyone lifts the same, it's very generic and there’s no progression whereas here, everything's based on percentage; what you can lift compared to what I can lift.” Ash’s fellow founder and owner Louis mentions that CrossFit is the perfect base for young people to develop if they want to become professional athletes in the future. “Essentially, CrossFit is a strength and conditioning programme. If you're learning CrossFit as a young person, you can learn how to lift weights and use your body to do gymnastic movements. Going forward, you can apply those to other sports because you’re more agile and coordinated. “When I was at school, I was never particularly fit or strong. If you were to speak to any of my peers who knew me, they would never have thought I would be someone who is very fit and capable of the stuff I'm doing now. “If I'd been doing CrossFit since I was at school, I think I could have had a lot of options in terms of what I could have done as a sport, whether it was being a rugby player, footballer, gymnast, weightlifter, anything, it gives you such a good base, because you practice everything. I think going forward for CrossFit, it would be good to be able to get it into schools,” said Louis. Of course, for such an intense mode of fitness, there will always be a risk of injury, something which Urban Outlaws are prepared for. Attila is a manual therapist from Hungary who has been working at the gym for over a year. “In my role, I treat any kind of musculoskeletal problems and sports injuries,” he says. “Often the injuries people get from CrossFit are pulled muscles or joint pain. 80/90% of the issues are tight and stiff muscles because of the training, but massages and stretching are a really good way to solve this. Just like in any sport, you can get injured here as well and it depends on the level of your training and how hard you push yourself.” CrossFit is fast, demanding and intense but it’s community along with the opportunities it gives you to develop, make it a uniquely popular way of keeping fit. Anyone interested can book a free taster session with Urban Outlaws at https://www. theurbanoutlaws.co.uk/contact. IS

ISAAC SEELOCHAN Focusing on sport...


CODEWORD#66 Five star childcare

in the hear t of our community

beestumped 1. W hat is the unofficial capital of the Transylvanian Region?

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2. In the 1983 film Cujo, who or what was Cujo?

2.

3. In Roman mythology, Mars was the God of what?

3.

4. In what year was Youtube launched?

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5. Rosalind is a moon that orbits which planet?

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6. Nighthawks was the most famous work by which artist?

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7. How many tenpin bowling skittles need knocking down for a strike?

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8. Who provided Nick Wilde’s voice in the 2016 movie of “Zootopia”? 9. In which Puccini opera does Mimi appear? 10. Who wrote “The Pit and the Pendulum”?

THIS IS IT: THE HARDEST QUIZ IN BEESTON! DO NOT SPILL ITS PINT!

8. 9. 10.

Call us now on

ANSWERS: Cluj/St. Bernard dog/War/2005/Uranus/Hopper/Ten/Jason Bateman/La Boheme/Edgar Allen Poe

0115 7750185

www.beestonian.com thebeestonian@gmail.coM

to book a visit and find out why our families c heck love us! o www.beestonnursery.co.uk N e w ut t h e w e bs i

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www.beestonian.com thebeestonian@gmail.coM


Still Live and

LULU DAVENPORT Beeston Beasts

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ey, hey, here we are again for another fantabulous, Halloween edition of Beeston Beats, lovingly renamed BEAST!-onian (auto correct please stop changing it to Onion), so what is on the agenda this month? Well read ahead, grab a hot drink and pull a chair in, as things are about to get spooky! (Edit, not too spooky I gets scared too!)

for those quick on the pulse there is the Oxjam Ceilidh at the Beeston Legion on Sat 23rd November, however tickets have sold out but fear not - another Scottish dance event is to be held at the Boat and Horses on Friday 22nd November, tickets are £5 no booking required just turn up, 8pm start. Not a dancer? Fair enough, how about a giggle? The Funhouse comedy club, hosted at Barton’s is on Friday 25th Oct and again on 29th November. £11 door tax, start time 8.15pm.

The season that I wait all year till, is almost here; Halloween! Yes give me the dark unhappy season any No dancing and not a fan of “Not day, you can keep mince pies, comedy? Well Beeston has ? r inflatable Santa’s and good old enough music to entertain e c n a da chirpy festive Christmas will, even the deadened souls with , Fair enough it’s all about the excuses for Motown in the form of band a fancy dress, questionable gory The Northern Line plus Colin t u how abo themed alcoholic beverages Stephens at the Victory Club on giggle?” and either embracing the age sat 26th, to Pop Classic covers old tradition of Trick and Treaters with Peashooter at the newly with copious amounts of sugary refurbished Cornmill pub on Friday sweets or barricading ourselves at home in 25th Oct. Folk artist Jack Rutter performs the dark until said intruders go and leave us at the Middle Street Resource centre on in peace. Friday 1st Nov tickets are £8. More folk? No problem, Alice Jones plays the Commercial In fact can we please extend the ghostly pub Dec 6th tickets also £8. The one and only season like we seem to have with Christmas? Mr Kingdom Rapper takes on the Berliner At August the dreaded Yuletide cakes seem bar Nov 16th. to roll into retail shops, as do the Easter Eggs that appear as if laid by the bunny themselves There are also the twinkly shiny firework on Boxing Day (true story). Imagine the displays to look forward to for bonfire night, outraged cry if silly masks and fake blood i shall be clutching a hotdog and the fine descended into local shops in June? In fact northern treat that is, minted mushy peas the whole thing makes me wanna, well you and uttering Ooooo and Arrrrr at the pretties. know, turn into a soul devouring demon. Lanes School are holding a Fireworks Before I descend into a full anti-yuletide rant Extravaganza Friday 8th November 5.45pm here is my not so cheery, quite grumpy guide admission £4. to events leading up to the unhappy season, Bah Humbug! See after all those interesting events lined up, can we give Christmas a miss, you can call By the time this publication hits the good it my present : ) drinking holes of Beeston the annual Oxjam Festival will have been and gone, however LD

Local!

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here in Beeston can you hear some live acoustic music every week? The answer is in your own Beeston folk club, The Second Time Around. Mind you, in the summer the continued existence of the Club, which had then just finished its 26th year, looked a bit precarious with the closure of The White Lion, the Club’s base in recent years; but by the start of the current season in September, it had found a new home at The Jolly Anglers on Meadow Road in the Rylands. For our purposes this has many advantages over our previous venue including easy access, and plenty of parking. The landlord is supportive, the locals friendly and the beer good and reasonably priced! We have already had many convivial singers’ nights in the ‘back bar’ and hope soon, with Paul the landlord’s support, to have a venue that’s better insulated from the noise of locals enjoying their drinks in the front bar. The pub is, sadly, a bit small for our ‘guest nights’ which we are holding about once a month elsewhere. We have already hosted folk legend Steve Tilston in September and next we have a young up-and-coming performer, Jack Rutter, at Middle Street Resource Centre, Middle Street, Beeston NG91AY. He is currently touring his new album and both it and he are receiving favourable reviews. He has a lovely voice and is an excellent musician (guitar, mandola and concertina). If you’re interested, visit our website for an opportunity to book for this event - at the time of writing there are barely a dozen places left! Tickets are £8 and please note, this venue does not have a licensed bar but you are welcome to bring your own alcoholic drinks (glasses provided) and to take away and recycle your empties.

‘Folk’ is a very general term. It certainly includes ‘traditional folk songs and tunes’ but that in turn is a very broad category, ranging from ballads about love, murder and incest, or about rural life, to songs about urban and industrial living, along with chorus numbers about the joy of drinking! However, we are inclusive and welcome performers who do their own numbers, or songs by well-known writers such as Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan, Tom Paxton, Ralph McTell and Richard Thompson. Along with blues, Americana, country, music hall and even straight pop, on a visit to a singers’ night at STAFC you could hear a heady mix of virtually anything that can be performed acoustically!

The current programme includes another guest artist, Alice Jones (pictured below), on 6th December, this time at The Commercial Inn on Wollaton Road. In the New Year we have many more singers’ nights and guests booked so visit our website for details: secondtimearoundfolkclub. weebly.com CT

COLIN TUCKER Beeston's Accoustic Scene ...


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The Beestonian 66(6): Halloween Special  

Yet another terrifyingly brilliant issue of The Beestonian, bringing you all the horrors you could ever want (but didn't ask for). For our H...

The Beestonian 66(6): Halloween Special  

Yet another terrifyingly brilliant issue of The Beestonian, bringing you all the horrors you could ever want (but didn't ask for). For our H...

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