Say you saw it in the Beacon | Fitness & Health
BALTIMORE BEACON — OCTOBER 2013
Women who value their independence Dear Solutions: money. Now, after being widowed for I’m a senior, and I admire inde- many years, I’ve been married for pendent women, as it was over a year. I work and harder to be that when I have my own bank acwas young. However, there count. is one young woman who My husband wants me to works where I volunteer put my money together who is really sharp, but too with his. I don’t feel comoften aggressively nasty. fortable doing this, even When I finally objected though we have a good to her tone of voice, she marriage. My husband said, “Oh, if a man said says I’m fearful of a joint that, you’d admire him for account because my parSOLUTIONS being assertive. You just ents were divorced, and By Helen Oxenberg, think I shouldn’t act like a my mother had a hard MSW, ACSW man, but this is what I pretime. How can I convince fer because it gets things him that’s not it? done.” — Irene What can I say to her to explain Dear Irene: there’s a difference? Gently give him a history lesson: — Nora “Women and Money 101.” Explain that for Dear Nora: decades women had no control over Tell her if she insists upon thinking money, and had to ask permission from she’s acting like a man, instead of just their husbands or fathers before they being an inconsiderate person, she should could spend any. So your mother wasn’t try at least acting like a gentleman. She can the only one with a problem. look up the definition, which includes The inability of women to control their “kind, chivalrous, well bred, not rough or own money translated into the inability to severe.” control their own lives. Explain to your Dear Solutions: husband that having your own money alSince I was a little girl, I was told lows you to be a volunteer in this marthat a woman should have her own riage, not a hostage.
Suggest a joint account for household bills only, and work out how much each of you will contribute to that. Tell him that women should have their own money. Men, too. Dear Solutions: I’ve become good friends with a man in my volunteer group. We’re strictly platonic friends and enjoy having lunch together. He’s married and I’m single, so the group gossips are talking about us. Should I continue to have lunch with him? — Donna Dear Donna: Make it an open lunch every other time.
That means invite other people from the group to join you. If you hear of rumors, nip them in the bud. Say to someone you believe is saying these things, “I’ve heard of rumors about Steve and me. I know it could be exciting to talk about, so it’s too bad it’s not true. We’re friends — period.” Leave it at that. It’s too bad, but I guess there really is no free lunch. © Helen Oxenberg, 2013. Questions to be considered for this column may be sent to The Beacon, P.O. Box 2227, Silver Spring, MD 20915. You may also email the author at email@example.com. To inquire about reprint rights, call (609) 655-3684.
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October 2013 Baltimore Beacon Edition