The deadly consequences of one action stretches out across families and friends causing arguments and recriminations that shake the foundations of a secure world. A world now reduced to rubble and dust, debris of such huge proportions that everyone is engulfed in its’ cloud of dirt and shame. Families and friends who once stood strong and united now lie vulnerable and shattered. There is so much hope within the victim for absolution when those first words of rape have been spoken. Life stands still with all noise blocked out. The reactions and words spoken next have more impact and importance than can be truly understood. Rape is a word with such overwhelming consequences, an action that is so hard to understand that sadly often the first directed question to the victim is loaded with the need for clarification to check if they are sure of what they are saying and do they understand the grievous nature of their accusation. This inbuilt natural reaction plunges the person raped into their already subliminal and expected belief that they were right. It was their fault; they are to blame; they are dirty; they are deceitful, sinful…….. they are not worthy. The initial pain of rape, ascends to a greater level of trauma as it reinforces the very thoughts that have been haunting them in their waking and sleeping moments, that somehow this act, these consequences are their fault. These presumed reactions perpetuate the reluctance of anyone raped
to speak out. The harsh reality is that all people who have experienced rape need to tell. What they don’t need is an immediate response. It is purely the fear of repercussions, of not being believed and the chaos that will wreak havoc in their life that prevents them from vocalising something so detrimental. Their silence walks side by side with them; the crime goes undetected and the damage slowly eats away at the individual like a cancer, leaving the victim a shadow of their former self, assuming the blame and responsibility for something that is categorically not their fault. They develop and use coping strategies that will warp and shape their behaviour for their lifetime and often leave much to be desired in their future relationships, life choices and mental and physical health. We have a supportive police force skilled in their handling of sensitive cases. We have a strong Crown Prosecution Service fighting for justice and we have many varied organisations with dedicated professional staff and volunteers all of whom collaborate and deliver high quality care, advice and support for rape victims. We have people and services committed to helping rape victims and yet they are still reluctant to come forward to tell. I wonder if we aren’t missing something more fundamental about the victim from the beginning. It is time to rethink. Speaking to victims who can recount both historical and recent rape there is one thing identifiable to them
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