I hope you realize how hard this was to write. You are my best friend and no matter what you have been there for me. I know we would have our occasional fights, which poor Lindsay usually witnessed, but those fights are what kept our friendship going. We have traveled the map together, and the idea of being in different cities next year makes me sick. You are my giamatti and always will be. I will never forget the trips we took, the concerts we attended, and the times we had. Sorry for my stupidity over the years, I hope you realize I will still be calling you to edit my papers in the future. These next things are words and phrases that define our friendship in no specific order… annual finals scream, Camelback mountain, not knowing how to use commas, trop sno, peeing in my ear, summer of 2009, CPK, Scoobydooby boo, peeing our pants, tye-dying, boy scouts, Funghis, wolf hat, gnocchi vodka sauce, Kelly M, yield on green, Christofer Drew, Peace sign tattoos, Jonas, subtle, vomiting, nutella, DJ Alex, fountains, Tommy Keenan, unicorns, ham-handed, black toe, cookie dough, m.i.g., The Beaumont, g-walking, pictures of the sky, depends, my leg, puke on my car…and chase’s arm, pinecones, kcmo po, track 4, and silly and billy. You will always be my best friend. I love you!!...sanasa, sanasa, sanasa-sa, SANASA!! Peace and Blessings Barstow, it’s been real. John Morrow So, here we are Barstow. After thirteen years I have 2,000 free characters (with spaces) to write my will. Yeah, like that’s gonna work. So looks like I’m gonna have to scoop some cash out of my wallet (thanks Molly) because you guys are all worth it. Although there’s definitely been some rough times I can safely say that I’ve loved every year, and feel like I’m leaving my family. Alright, let’s get to it. I, John Morrow, will the following — Ronnie: I will you an endless supply of camel faces, my history knowledge, troll face, speed on the soccer field, punny puns, crazy colored shoes, and my awesome nerf gun…yeah right, get your own. You and Jordan have been my best friends for a long time. Thanks for the laughs and all the nights we threw down our xbox controllers trying to get through Halo on Legendary. I know both of you are gonna tear it up in college. Jordan S: I will you long boards, LED drumsticks, all my video games (because you’re so much better at them than I…thanks Barstow English), graphic T’s, organization, nacho libre masks, lime green soccer cleats, and the best sense of humor. Like Ronnie you’ve become my best friend. Thanks for letting me come over to your house all the time, and putting up with my ignorance of 4chan. Good luck at Northwestern, keep in touch broseidon. J-Smooth: I will you all of my red sox gear (you know you want it), my Mickey Mantle ball…NOT, Nicaragua, Fever Pitch, and anti-jump meds. You are the happiest, nicest person I know. Always keep that leather on your hand and those laces under your fingers kid. Akshay: I will you stamina, goalie gloves… that don’t have holes, Slumdog Millionaire, and all my math talent (because you need it). For real, you’re a great friend and a hilarious guy. I’m so stoked you got into Wharton man,
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we’ll be in contact…future business partners. I feel it. I’ll miss you Akbar. Molly: I will you my baman utility belt, my banana costume (keep it), my ability to actually catch a fly ball and slide without getting hurt (I had to), comma usage, closet space, clothes, my superior iPod, Mario Kart, scary movies, NINJA, poop, dinosaur noise, and one final time….look, a creature from the outside. Ohhhhhhh. Man we’ve had our ups and downs haven’t we? You’ve taught me so much about myself, and I hope I’ve done the same for you. Thanks for teaching me some fashion, I know I was stubborn. Thanks for everything you’ve been for me; I don’t regret any of it. Kill it next year without me…and since we live within .8 miles of each other I know we’ll be in touch for a long time. Taylor: I will you poetry, basketball, theatRE, socks, straws, journals, doggie deodorant, Tyler HansBRO, and dance skills. Thanks for all the conversations and advice, you’re like my fourth sister. Just keep your black sole shoes off the gym, and have a great time in college! Katie: I will you piderman, this random speed limit sign I found, pirates, peach wave, tennis, debate, sassy writing, and augmented pep. Thanks for putting up with me, and being the mediator between Molly and me. You’re a great friend and a great person. Keep it real breh. Freddy & Kevin: I will you two words — GET BUNK. You two made all the terrible Barstow dances amazing. Have a great time in college. Jordan E: I will you man talks, Zac Brown Band, baseball, middle school basketball, Oakley’s, lanyards, drifting, my COD skills, and Halloween costumes. Dude, I’m so proud you’re playing ball at Rockhurst, keep your determination bro it’s gonna take you far. Keep that elbow up and those hips closed. Erin & Alex: I will you guys NeverShoutNever, Blink concert, SASS, Slightly Stoopid, and all the greatest music in the world. I want to thank you guys for all the years we’ve spent together, and all the healthy sass you’ve provided me. — John “TOM” Morrow Taylor Phillips Having spent a dozen years of my life walking these hallowed albeit linoleum halls, I, Taylor Kay Phillips, will the following memories and thoughts to the following phenomenal human beings. Class of 2011: Austin: You will always be my television soulmate. I will you NERDS, BAZINGA, the race card (don’t take it!). Akshay: I will you a happy marriage (to me), prom invitations in Hindi, B-Line everything, innuendos of all sorts, blackberries, and my 3 on the AP Calc test. If you ever do come to your senses and propose, the answer will always be yes yes a thousand times yes. Erin: You’ve saved my butt in B-Line more times than I can count. *Hand raise + irrelevant question/statement.* Zoe: You’ll always be my ziggle. Love, Route 66. Ronaldo: I hope the next string of maudlin sentiment isn’t too much of a neo-conservative justification of capitalism for you. I will you birthday dates, hugs, studying for finals, hiding in the euro closet, last minute euro projects… all the other things that happened to us that I can’t think of right now. CLICHÉ ALERT – You’re a bona fide kindred spirit with the purest soul I think I’ve
ever encountered. You walk through life with a combination of optimism, humor, and kindness that astounds and comforts those around you — not to mention you’re brilliant. END CLICHÉ. I love you with all my heart. Wheels: Coach K, Coach P, and Coach Newsome. 8642s, Saturday practices, that STUPID song, pawing — basketball would not have been the same without you — You rock girl. Benjamin: Oh, my loving jewish husband. I will you all 5 of our children, pensive bus rides in Boston, BFF dates to good, bad, and horrible movies, minivan escapades, honeymoon pictures on the Fringe trip, Evilus Mostus and Ricky Martinez, the Tate giftshop, quickchanges, hair and makeup in every show. You’re inspiring and amazing, I love you, kid. Always will. It doesn’t change a thing, but even so — after 12 years, it’s nice to know. Jonathan: Tess would write a better will than me. Oh my goodnase, leakage, Theatre of the Imagination, Mr. Phillips master of all that is good in the universe, everything that ever happens in Bio labs. I can’t wait to read your articles in Sports Illustrated some day. Cynthia: For once, I’m going to risk it (not sneak it). Tree confetti, costume parties, chocolate milk, Theatre of the Imagination, car wrecks, chair-top political debates in Mr. Denney’s class, Middle School speech. Good luck in everything you aspire to do — you don’t need it. Jordan: Finals study parties, pingpong with spatulas, singing instead of crying, Shirley temples. Having you in my life these past 12 years has been amazing — maybe we’ll end up at NW together! Love. Paul: You’re disgusting. I won make someone uncomfortable day and you know it. Hi Paul. Love you Paul. Grey: Ah, first boyfriend, Winthrop, Theatre of the Imagination, Persephone, desperately seeking each other out at your father’s art shows when we’re bored, and the fact that I NEVER know how to spell Grey/Gray. You’re meant to be a Disney imagineer… I expect fast passes to all of my favorite attractions. Freddy: FREDDY! Est-cequ’on a fait le crime? Junior: I feel comfortable saying that I will go to college with much deeper cinematic knowledge thanks to you. I will you a long and happy future with David at your side. You are one of my favorite people and all the laughs you’ve given the world — from coming onstage in that woman’s robe in YCTIWY, to Erroneous in Forum, to Paravaccini — will pepper my life with humor for years to come. Lindsay: I would give you my teeth — but you took them already. David: I like your collars, your buttoned buttons, your pancreas, you’re the A to my Q — our memories at Roundtable, Theatre of the Imagination, Euro (suck it), Art History (I still remember that you want to date Marie Curie), being deferred from Yale buddies (too soon?) — I will you a long and happy marriage to Junior — or whoever your hot wife might later be. You’re brilliant and beautiful and I’m lucky to have known you when. Kevin: I want to BUNK your brains out. Ing: Holy smokes — check out this bobcat, R-ES-P-E-C-T, Marsh along the river, Stay Alive, “There’s a tooth in my burger”, can I get a classic?, Marsh to Ing, D-rizz, K-Knop, the day I cried when you tore your ACL, practices at Calvary with no air-conditioning, “You be