“That’s the head of the table, young lady,” said Mr. Hatter. “It’s reserved.” “How do you know it’s the head of the table?” Marcus asked. “When there is an identical armchair at the other end?” “It depends on who is sitting there,” said Mr. Hatter. “Anyway, young lady, tell me, why is a ghost like a vending machine?” “I do so enjoy riddles!” said Alice. “I believe I can guess that.” “Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it?” said Marcus O’Hare. “Exactly so,” said Alice. “Then you should say what you mean.” “I do,” Alice hastily replied. “At least … at least, I mean what I say. That’s the same thing, I suppose.” “You might just as well say,” added Mr. Dormas, who seemed to be talking in his sleep, “that ‘I breathe when I sleep’ is the same thing as ‘I sleep when I breathe.’” “It may be the same thing with you!” said Mr. Hatter, and he flicked a little hot tea upon Mr. Dormas’ nose. Mr. Dormas shook his head and said, without opening his eyes, “Of course, of course—just what I was going to remark myself.” “Have you guessed the riddle yet?” Mr. Hatter asked, turning back to Alice. “No, I give up,” Alice replied. “What’s the answer?” “I haven’t the slightest idea,” said Mr. Hatter. “Nor I,” said Marcus O’ Hare. Alice sighed. “I think we might do something more fun with this time,” she said, “than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.” “Take some more tea,” Marcus O’Hare earnestly said to Alice. “I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied with a grin, in an attempt to lighten the proceedings, “so I can’t take more.” “You mean you can’t take less,” said Mr. Hatter. “It’s very easy to take more than nothing.” Alice wrinkled her nose and forehead, deciphering the statement in her mind. It’s easier to take more than nothing than less than nothing, she simply concluded. An announcement from Mr. Hatter that “she’s finally here” interrupted Alice’s cogitation, and she sat up, happy and relieved at the arrival of Deidre Dudley. She admittedly looked beautiful. She had brushed her red-gold tresses to a lustre, and her blue pinafore dress appeared almost regal compared to Alice’s, which though freshly laundered, had borne the wear and tear of travel.
90