22 The Adelaide Review March 2014
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Mr Morgan’s Last Love preview screening Trak Cinema, 375 Greenhill Road, Toorak Gardens Monday, March 3, 7pm A look at the life-changing connection between a retired and widowed American philosophy professor and a young Parisian woman. Directed and written by Sandra Nettelbeck. Stars Michael Caine, Michelle Goddet and Jane Alexander.
Thank You for the Music Capri Theatre, 141 Goodwood Road Sunday, March 9, 2pm The Theatre Organ Society presents ‘Thank you for the Music’ – a celebration of movies, musicals and all things cabaret featuring pianist, vocalist and theatre organist Mathew Loeser.
Wadjda Palace Nova East End Cinemas, Cinema Place From Thursday, March 20 An enterprising Saudi girl signs on for her school’s Koran recitation competition as a way to raise the remaining funds she needs in order to buy the green bicycle that has captured her interest. Directed and written by Haifaa Al-Mansour. Stars Waad Mohammed, Reem Abdullah and Abdullrahman Al Gohani.
Alliance Francaise French Film Festival Palace Nova East End Cinemas, Cinema Place Thursday, March 20 to Saturday, April 8 Returning in spectacular form for its 25th birthday, the Alliance Francaise French Film Festival will transport audiences to a nation awash with colour and romance through an evocative program of keenly anticipated new features and documentaries.
South Australian Prize
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The state election in a few days prompts Sir Monty to pen a tribute to the political career of Labor’s top man for the benefit of the visitors flooding our fair city. BY Sir Montefiore Scuttlebutt
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Sometimes in government people write in convoluted ways using language which hides or confuses the real message they want to convey.” Thus begins an introduction to plain English, penned in 2007 by a youthful new minister, keen open-space aficionado by the name of Jay Weatherill, then minister assisting the Premier in Cabinet. Regular visitors to Adelaide now know that Jay has since ascended to the summit and has been South Australia’s Premier for three challenging years. This month his Labor team faces its fourth state election in a row.
“Writing in plain English sends clear messages about what the government is doing...” Jay told readers way back in 2007. This came as a surprise to Monty. More often in his experience it is about governments explaining why they have not been able to do what they claimed they keenly wanted to do, in the days leading up to the previous election. Jay’s preface, in a booklet titled Plain English, Good Practice Guide, was published by a body called the Government Reform Commission. Reforming the government or reforming the readers? It didn’t say.
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Jay’s Guide gave several examples, which were described as gobbledygook. Here’s one. “With only a year remaining to July 2008 there is a risk that the state government may not deliver on its committed targets.” Plain English proposed replacement: “With only a year remaining to July 2008 we may run out of time to achieve the target.” Ah, clarity! Blame time. Why not? The Opposition shouldn’t accept all of the blame, all of the time. The cat o’ nine tails for Father Time! Much time has passed since then, and the excuse is just as useful six years later.
This month’s prize is two tickets into ‘FIVEaa Locker Room’ at the ‘Balfours Showdown’ on Saturday 29 March, valued at $480!
Maestro Series 1- New World
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Elder Hall, North Terrace Sunday, March 30, 6.30pm Welcome Adelaide Youth Orchestra as they launch into their ‘New World Order’ for 2014 with three stunning and diverse works: Copland’s homage to all men serving in World War II, SaintSaëns’ virtuosic third violin concerto and Dvorák’s much loved American composition, Symphony No 9.
Monty scoured the document for the Eight Most Preferred Government Words, but found no reference to Boost, Bolster, Buoyant, Robust, Full’n’Frank, Finesse, Leverage and Vibrant. Each appears to have slipped out of the room while the document was being prepared, illustrating that timing is everything. The word Time is revealing in itself. Early in SA Labor’s second consecutive term, a 2006 survey by the publishers of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary revealed that Time appears in the top-25 list of commonly used words. So did the words Government and Problem. Can you see a pattern there?
Similar patterns can be seen among the adjectives littering the floor around the government shredder on the green, deep-pile Axminster of the South Australian House of Assembly. These words sound rather like a collection of military gentlemen, loitering in a corner, ready to be trotted out on important occasions. They include the lowercaste Corporal Punishment; the more officerlike Major Development; and the higher ranked General Reform. These old boys strut about the news releases, but it’s hard to find any reference to Lance Corporal Cock-up or Brigadier Bluster, the officer usually brought in to bail out the said Lance Corporal at door-stop interviews late on Friday nights when TV crews have all gone to the pub. “My eighty-one year old grandmother still rides her Harley motorbike her toy poodle balances in a basket between the handlebars.” Wait for it. That sentence really did appear in Jay’s Guide. It’s in a section committed to teach the uninitiated about coordinating conjunctions. Add a comma, plus the word ‘and’ after motorbike, and the sentence will make more sense, Guide readers are advised. But it does leave a legacy of questions about our still-youthful Premier. Why is his 81-yearold grandmother riding a motorbike? Can’t the poodle run alongside the Harley? If our Police Commissioner Ken Burns sees the said poodle in the basket between the handlebars, should he write Jay an expiation ticket? If not, why not? Everyone else is getting one, for one transgression or another. Should the Director of Public Prosecutions know in advance? Although Jay was only a junior minister in 2007 when this is alleged to have occurred, he’s now Top Dog. And Monty doesn’t mean the poodle. On the subject of the inexorable passing of time, Jay’s Guide advised that readers should “avoid or minimise the following” - At the end of the day; On a weekly basis; At this moment in time; and Going Forward. Monty anticipates the day that a Government of South Australia letter advises him: Dear Sir - At the start of the day, or at least on a daily basis, the matter is Going Backwards. Ah, Brutal Honesty: I knew him well! That might win a plain English award were it ever to escape the confines of the Cabinet office, the only place you might find it. Jay’s Guide concludes by quoting shamelessly a fellow named Eric Blair, a poverty stricken British writer with a toothbrush moustache and a habit for cheap tobacco in the 1940s who used the pen name George Orwell. “Good writing is like a window pane,” Jay quotes. Perhaps Jay was being cryptic? Wasn’t his advice supposed to be about plain English and clear communication? On checking the Orwell quote, Monty found another, elsewhere, by the same writer. Jay should have used that. It was more transparent. “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.” (Politics and the English language, Horizon, no 13, 1946.) Since Jay’s the top dog and also treasurer, he might find a few dollars for a revised reprint of Plain English, Good Practice Guide for the next administration. Besides, the grandmother would now be 88 and we’re keen to know whether - in an election year - the poodle still does motorcycle tricks. Given what’s happened in recent weeks, it could be a useful diversionary stunt for a party pedalling up a very steep hill.