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THE ANCHOR-Diocese of Fall River-Thur. Nov. 15, 1979
Where's That Good Old Catholk Family? By NC News service Where are the families of yesterday? They are gone and not coming back, according to speak. ers of several recent conferences which took a hard look at the families of today and their needs. Family life has undergone dramatic changes and church efforts must change to_ keep up, speakers told family ministers, teachers; priests and women's council delegates from Kansas City to Canada. ":rhat good old Catholic family doesn't exist anymore," writer Dolores Curran said at the National Conference on Family Ministry and Family Education in Kansas City. She said that family used to be governed by two parents, life revolved around the parish and families were supportive of their pastor regardless of his ideology. With today's Catholic family, none of those factors is certain, and the role of women makes a major difference, Mrs. Curran ,said. . The family of yesterday was a family' which included other relatives and in which the father was the breadwinner and the mother a homemaker. "This family is not coming back," Mary Kenny said. Mrs. Kenny and her psychologist husband, Dr. James Kenny, were the keynote speakers at a - Rockford Diocese teachers' institute at Northern Illinois University, DeKalb..The Kennys, parents of 12 children, write a column, Family Talk, for NC News Service. A more recent model of family, Mrs. Kenny said, is a "tem\ '\ porary" grouping in which tW9 authority figures, the parents,_ are wai.ting for their children to grow strong and independent enough to leave. Many people seem' to have adjusted to this type of family and look to a future "when the children have gone,~' she said. As the family becomes smaller and more isolated, its smaller size "places a burden on the one or two adults in the unit," Mrs. Kenny said. "The mother is expected to be everything to the child," Because society emphasizes self-fullfilment and individualism, "it is likely that family break-ups will continue to increase," she continued. Dr. Kenny called the family "a natural laboratory for Christian behavior. The fami.ly is the best place to teach prayer and love. ' "You don't have to stand up and lecture" to teach in the family situation because children learn by watching their parents," said Dr. Kenny, director of the Jasper Newton Mental Health Center in Rensselaer, Ind. He called on the church to help families realize that family life is "in and of itself holy" and to promote family liturgies.
Mrs. Kenny suggested that transmitting values, family idenMr. and Mrs. Pat Mailloux, parishes draw families closer to- tity and aspirations; rising div- coardinators of the marrillge gether by encouraging members orce rates and increasing Jnstab- and family renewal program in to work together as a unit in or- . ility; and the destruction of the the Diocese of London, Ontario, ganizations like parish coun- "nest notion" of the family and said families can be too involved cils and by involving families in a new awareness of women's in meetings, community work, -overtime and路 driving the 'child-"a common task" determined roles. by the group. "Families need the Father Conroy said the prob- ren to various programs. Christian community because lems point to a need for total "When all these activities, they are too small and isolated family ministry, and that is which are good in themselves, to go it alone," she said. where parishes come in. He said begin to dominate the family, Bishop Kenneth J. Povish told each parish in the country will then it's no wonsler that famidelegates to the National Coun- soon receive a kit from his office lies are falling !ipart," the couple cil of Catholic Women's Pitts- designed to help pastors and noted. burgh convention that the church staff members "listen to famiFamily members need to "come should watch over and support lies." together in the Lord," Mailloux the family. Such' programs can be very said. The couple spoke at the anBishop Povish, NCCW liaison effective, . he said; In Phoenix, for the National Conference of one couple convinced the bishop nual meeting of Canadian SenCatholic Bishops, said that the of the importance to families of ates of Priests. Delegates were urged' to church is determined "to estab- spending an evening together. "support and promote organizalish a family ministry to bolster The Bishop ordered that no parand strengthen the domestic ish, school or diocesan meetings tions of divorced, separated, and single-parent church." or events were to be held on widowed Catholics." They also approved The U.S. bishops are ready Monday nights, "family nights" resolutions calling for more for the challenge, according to in the diocese. clergy support for marriage and, ,Father Donald Conroy, family Such a suggestion might help family life projects and renewal life representative of the U.S. counteract what a couple in Can- of marriage preparation pro. Catholic Conference. ada, called a major obst,ilcle to grams. The bishops list main threats the growth of a happy Christian During the meetings of priests, to family life as the difficulty in family - overinvolvement. presentations were made on the
theology of marriage and how priests can be instrumental in strengthening family life from marriage preparation to the spiritual healing required' by separated or divorced Catholics. "The breakdown of marriage is very serious," commented Father Roy Carey. "Our question was: What can we do to prevent marriage breakdowri?" Father Carey noted the need to educate people that separated and divorced Catholics ,are still full-fledged church members. Separated and divorced, Catholics "have a right to receive' all the sacraments," he said. "We need to help the laity understand this." However, serious difficulties arise when a divorced Catholic remarries without obtaining a church annulment of the first marriage. Moves to assist Catholic families with special problems are part of a massive national program which has been growing steadily during the past decade. Canadian bishops have been emphasizing the need to combat the secularization of the family. Last year the bishops voted to orient their work to support family life. Moves to assist Catholic families and new programs for changing families will continue to grow in the United States . d~ring the next decade- the 'decade of the' famiiy, according to family life specialists. Parish level development of efforts on behalf of .engaged couples, married couples, parents and families at various' stages of developments are primary concerns in the bishops' Plan for Pastoral' Action for Family Ministry. "The parish. is basically the first extended family that we can offer to those around to help build community," lecturer Clayton Barbeau said at the family ministry conference in Kansas City. "And it is sharing at the parochial level t~at can help people overcome their isolation." The family is even broader to Father Matthew Fox, director of the Insitute of Creation-Centered Spirituality at Mundelein College, Chicago. "I am convinced that the first. meaning of family proposed in the Bible includes all of creation," he said. "For all of us came from one parent - a single parent you might路 say." Rosemary Haughton, author of books on spirituality and the family and keynote speaker at the family ministry conference, explored changes in the church and family and said that although the form of the new church is not clear, the central force .is evident. "At the heart of th~ new growth are many small groups of people who are discovering themselves as the church. God is calling families to be the church in new ways."