14 THE ANCHOR-Diocese of Fall River-Frr., Sep~. 20,1991
liy Charlie Martin
LOVE ON A ROOFTOP By Linda L. Rome
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·"You're certainly' a person of your word," someone said to me recently in a voice 'tinged with, unmista~al;lle surprise. . "I try to be," I answen:d, feeling' as if I, ,should shuffle my feet and say ~'omething Hl\e, "Aw, shucks.... I bad promis~dihe p¢rsQn a guid~ to preparing a resu'me ~hat could help in his job search; and I brought it over as soon as I could. No big deal, I th'ought. But I realized he had not actually expected I would follow through. What about you? l,)oyou expect .. others to keep their word? Do you ,.,. keep yours~ K.eeping o'ne's word is a sort of old-fashioned concept. I'm reminded of sayings such as "Your word is your bond," "He's as good as his word" and "I gave my word." When my father said "I gave my . word," his voice would deepe,n, indicating the gravity, the sheer sacredness of what he meant. I knew that keeping his. word had something to do with honor, trust and self-respect. I knew it meant I . could count on him to do whatever it was he had promised.. Somehow hi~ word was even more than a promise..Like the biblical Word ("In the beginning was' the Word"), my father's word was intimately connected with'his idea of himself as a, person. . There were gradations: "I said I would do it," "I promised," "I gave my word." With my dad, all these were good currency, but unknown circumstanc~s could. change the timing or ,the possibilities of the first two statements. ' In the .c.ase of the third, however, only ,disaster could interfere. With such a standard, he did not
SHAWOMET GARDENS
give his word lightly. You might ask what difference it really makes. Ask yourself instead what kind of person you are or want to be. I. When Sarah makes a date to ~eet a friend,'she tri~s to show up - unless she has forgotten that her favo.r~te TV program is on at ~he same. time. In that case she "forgets" to show up..: : 2. Tom 'told his teacher he would 'turn in extra credit work because he f1ubbed a big test:'But'he doesn't '. do the extra credit work. It doesn't matt(:r, he tells himself. . 3. Mat~hewprom,ised ~friend to help study for the social studies test. But he forgets to bring home, his book and notes...., . 4. When, Kathleen and Jane said .theywould proofread all the Year-. book copy .by Friday, they'had no ' idea it would ,take so long. They' have to stay up until midnight two nights in a row, .but they,get it done. ' ' ,5. John gave his word that everyone would get a chance to tryout for the school play. But he decides who will be given the lead long before the last person tries out for it. Who'll ever know? he thinks. . I've learned the hard way that: not all the world lives 'by my father's standard. On principle, I . give each person the benefit of the. doubt and a clean slate, but I no longer pretend someone can be trusted when his' or her actions ~ave shown otherwise. Renewed: faith has to be earned. , Honor, trust and self7 respect. It was even more important to me' than to my. friend that I bring over: that guide to preparing a resume. For I want to be 'a person of my. word, not just in the big things, \>ut the everyday things. ONLY FULL,L1NE RELIGIOUS' GIFT STORE ON THE CAPE • OPEN MON-SAT: 9-5:30 SUMMER SCHEDULE OPEN 7 DA
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. We used to talk forever, all the time Now that we live together, we never find the time We used to walk as lovers on the sand Now we are working fulltime on our lifetime plan We never stop to see the moon at night . We are just too busy leading complicated lives I remember love on a rooftop .Couldn't make th~ love stop We were giving it all that we got I remember holdi,.g you tight Love qn a rooftop Look at us now we are all grown up . We got it all together, we got it aU sewn up . .; But is this all, all that it is leading to .Or did· we just r,un out of dreams when all our dreams came true Whatever happened to those endless nights When we were happily living foolish lives Written I}y Desmond Child, Diane Warr,en, sung by Des- , mond Child, (c) 1991 by Elektra Entertain~ent JUST LISTENING once is ,enough for .some songs. You know that you like them. Such was my experience with Desmond Child's "Love on a R09ftop'." . . Perhaps my musical memory is failing, but I can't put his name with other chart hits. Whatever his recording history,· this hit will significantly enhance his reputation. .The person in.the song reflects on his romance; which has become dull and lifeless. He remembers when they "used to talk forever ... walk as lovers on the sand" and in general were '~happily living foolish lives."
.. NoW life has changed. He says, "We are working fUlltime on our lifetime plan ... just too busy leading complicated lives." Even if you are Ii long way from thinking a~out marriage, the song still has something important to say. Any relationship eventually can be takenfor granted. This includes,romance, but also friends~ips and especially family relationships. We get so caught up with life's details that we forget to take care of our relationships. ,The consequences rob our lives of enduring love and emotional closeness. For e'.'ample, consider some-
one who has-been a good friend, but who moves out of your school district. You no longer see that person daily. As the song suggests, your life gets complicated with responsibilities and fairly soon you have lost contact with this person. Sometimes this is inevitable, as we can't keep up with all our friends, particularly when circumstances change and we seldom see some of them. However, it is important to remember that we have choices. Each of us decides our life's priorities. Certainly, it takes both people's efforts to keep a friendship alive, and when both individuals do so, something of lifetime 'meaning and value is established. Obviously, we cannot do this with every friendship, but mimy lifelong bon.ds can be nurtured and established. . . ',Many people, 'and ,clearly those who marry, start off with good intentions. Yet the 'results are measured over time. Even if emotional distance does gradually· 'erode a relationship's closeness, we don't have to settleJor such loss.' If a relationship of importance' has grown stille' or emotionally empty, reach out to the other person. Find out if he or . 'she wants to renew the friendship. . Clarify the amount of time and energy each of you 'will bring to the renewed relationship. Determine if enough trust still exists so that each of you can believe in the promises made. If so, celebrate a new beginning, creating' n«w memories of . what it means to care for each 'other. . . Comments are welcomed by Charlie Martin, R.R. 3, Box 182, Rockport, Ind. 47635.
Notre Da.me opens international center NOTRE DAME, Ind. (CNS)-' International scholars, politicians, diplomats and activists in j:cological and peace. issues. gathered at the University of Notre Dame Sept. 13-14 to dedicate' the Hesburgh Center for' International Studies. . The two-day' event also marked the beginning of the university's celebration of its 150th anniversary. The center is named for Holy Cross Father Theodore M. Hesburgh, who reti~ed in 1987 after 35 years as president of Notre Dame. .Some 300 people, including former first lady Rosalynn Carter, attended the various events sur-' rounding,the dedication. Dignitaries .from Brazil, Chile, Canada, Kenya, )apan and the United States received honorary degrees at a Sept. 14 convocation. Amt;lDg those h<mored was environmental activist Lester Brown, founding president of Worldwatch Institute, a Washington think-tank on global environmental issues. '''We a're now on the verge of either an environmental revolution or of degradation that will lead t~ basic economic collapse in nations worldwide,~ Brown said in a talk. He told administrators of the Hesburgh center that the building should have been designed with compact fluorescent lights which, he said, consume one-fourth the electricity of regular bulbs with the same amount of light. The U.N. High Commissioner
for Refugees, Sadako N. Ogata, also received an honorary degree and addressed the academic convocation. ~'The many stagnant pools of refugees and displaced peoples worldwide are not just a humanitarian issue; they mark a grave threat to a stable international order," Mrs. Ogata said. She expressed urgency because "this issue impac~s the nature of the emerging new world order.. The time for solutions is now." She also expressed optimism that the "increased stature of the U.N. to resolve global conflicts," combined with the spread ofdemocratic structures, make it possible that "the new world order will meet the needs and high aspirations of.many peoples." Other speakers echoed Mrs. Ogata's combination of urgency and optimism, citing in particular the rapid changes taking place among the Soviet republics. Randall Forsberg, a founder of the Nuclear,Weapons Freeze Campaign, said the changes "help to confirm the hope that most, if not all, nations will establish democratic structures:" , Mrs. Carter, who is on the advisory council of the Helen Kellogg Institute for International Studies, honored Joan' B. Kroc at a Sept. 14 luncheon. Mrs. Kroc, who donated $1.2 million toward the center's pro-
grams a'nd construction, is the widow of Ray Kroc, founder of the McDonald's corporation. The Hesburgh Center includes th,e Joan B. Kroc Institute for International Peace Studies, the Kellogg institute and residence's for visiting scholars from ar-ound the world. Among the goals of the peace studies prognfm are pursuit of non-military conflict resolution and issues of human rights; scholarship and practical advocacy ofjustice and peace; and .encouraging graduate students to practice the global cooperation that their research proposes.
Youth federation leaders chosen WASHINGTON (CNS) Cheryl Tholcke of the Diocese of Sacramento, Calif., was chosen to chair the board of directors of the Washington-based National Federation for Catholic Youth Ministry during the board's recent meeting in Rapid City. Four other officers were also elected.. While in Rapid City, the board .also refined a. five-year plan to focus its activities on public image, advocacy, collaboration, multicultural awareness and justice and peace issues.